My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - 181 - Live at the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee (2017)

Episode Date: July 11, 2019

Karen and Georgia cover serial killers David Spanbauer and Ed Gein.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I just would like to say that we were not directly informed how large this theater was by our people. So just in casual conversation upstairs with the lovely people who work here, we were like, sorry, what's that again? How many seats did you say? How many seats? Oh, my God. This is the most nervous.

Like, I'm shaking. Yeah. You can see. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You can tell I blew my own hair out, huh?

You can see I'm shaking and you can see my cuticles are still fucked up. Probably. Yeah. You can look on this. Oh, no. That's cute. Have you ever been in one of those, you find a dressing room that actually shows you your own butt?

Have there ever been 2,400 people there when you looked at it? Yes. Oh, really? Yeah. What store is that? We love this. Oh, we want to let you people in the second balcony know. That's right.

We're going to go through each area and have you shout for yourselves. Just wait. Just wait. But first, it's haunted on that row. We asked the lovely Sasha, who's like the manager here, and she's so wonderful, and I was like, is it haunted here, which is like such a dick thing to ask someone, and she's like, uh-huh? It's like, really tell me everything.

And so she was saying one night, she was closing on stage alone in this entire fucking theater, can you imagine? And she was like, okay, bye to the audience. Like that's kind of her thing, which is adorable. And then she's like, then a woman walked by in the second row and left. She said dress, long blonde hair. Gray or blonde? Assuming blonde, but I'm sure it was white and wispy.

Yeah. And what did she do halfway? She walked across and then turned and looked at her and then kept going. How's it going up there? Kind of cold? Does everyone cold all of a sudden? Freezing cold? Oh, no.

It's just a fun start. Yeah. So let's turn all the lights off here, everyone. Do you want to show everybody your outfit? Just do a quick walk across? There it is. Look at that. Breezy.

Easy to pack. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Let's see yours. Oh. Thank you. Thanks.

Mine, it's not supposed to stick to me like this. You have a lot of static electricity in the air. I was hoping for more of a billowy, less clingy situation, but who cares, I mean, right? There's nothing we can do at this point. I think we've both given up at this point wearing shoes that are not given up. I mean, yeah. That's a strong phrase. It's not given up, but I am wearing clogged boots with a dress, so, you know.

You pull it off. I'm not. I just can't with the heels. I have the best intentions when I pack. I'm like heels and spanks and a bra and that's like, fuck you. And a big wig, huge earrings and a lip plate, she really tries. I don't. I do.

So we drove here today from Indianapolis. We did last night's show because I insulted them once until we had to go there. Yeah. Pretty good slam. We have to go to a lot of places then because, yeah, my God. We have a lot of apologies to make to the nation. The apology tour. Yeah.

For her, we got everything wrong. If we didn't mispronounce it, then we just were rude. That's great. Yeah. And we, this is like, I lost my mind when I realized we could do this on the way. We were in the minivan seriously and Vince was doing the dad driving thing, which is like, he's so responsible and it was like, fun. We were all talking and then I see a sign and I didn't think of this and this has been

my dream for so long. There was a cracker barrel. I lost my mind, right? It was as if we drove by Diamond Disneyland for Georgia. And I actually, we're both from California, so we've only heard of cracker barrel referenced in like movies and TV. Like it's kind of, it is kind of sounds fictional to us. They'll go down to the cracker barrel or whatever, it's like, okay, haha.

And I've scurled like, I look at food photos all the time and so like, I've scurled through cracker barrel hashtag Instagram for hours, hours, because it's sold my kind of food. And then we went and it was, it was exactly what I, man, it was so good. I mean, I had a hash brown casserole. I didn't even know that was a thing. To beat the bent. I mean, our waitress told me to eat my vegetable. I'm not kidding.

She shamed us. She was like the sweet little, maybe racist grandma. We don't know. You don't know. You're right. And she walked by and she's like, how are the vegetables? Because you could tell we hadn't taken a single bite of them. Yeah.

We're like, oh, we're going to eat them. Sure, absolutely. Barb, that was her name, Barb. She came back by again. She's like, are you going to try it? Yes, I will. And then she said to me when she was clearing my plate, let me get those out of your way so you don't put your elbows in them.

And I realized my elbows were on the table and she was like. We got schooled at Cracker Barrel, ladies and gentlemen. I was like, well played, though. Yeah. I tipped her really well. Yeah. That's what I want at a restaurant. Tell me how to live, please.

I need it. Yeah. She was, that place was, I lost my mind. Also we were doing that thing in the gift shop that you do when you're just excited in general or just like, oh my God, look at this. It's just like a wind chime you could get anywhere, but we're just like, George, I'm going to buy you this. That's right.

I went and gave this for my nephews and they were like, I traveled here. How will I get this home? Yes. You know? I was going to buy my niece Nora a rocking chair. It was not a good plan, but I was excited. Carry on. Yeah.

And then you don't even need to buy a seat on the plane. That's right. Just fucking right there in the aisle. No drink service on this one, sorry, everybody. And then a cat gets out of its carrier and it's all like a cracker barrel, Kathy cartoon. It could be fun if we did a cracker barrel only tour and we all ate, what about that? We all eat. We have some fucking dumplings.

I got lima beans, I'm a hundred years old. She was eating her, she was eating her lima beans and she goes, there's bacon in these. Like it was like the bacon was super cute because in California they would tell you that because people are vegan and so they wouldn't just not tell you. Yeah, you can't just, bacon is never assumed in California ever, you got to declare a vegetable and then they're just throwing bacon in and you're like, it's good for you. You know how many fucking high school, like I'm a vegetarian now, kids have like lost their mind there.

There's nothing I can eat on the menu, like shut the fuck up. And their parents are like, pick the bacon out, pick the bacon out, eat around it. Eat around the bacon if you don't like it. You'll be done with this in three months, pick it out. That was good. We also stopped at a travel oasis, which truly was an oasis. What a gorgeous, what a gorgeous idea you all had to build an Auntie Ann's pretzel store over a freeway.

Thank you. I had an ice cream cone because I'm also five, even though I'm also a hundred. And it was that thing of, it was like, oh, we've got to get ice cream here at McDonald's. We can't get it anywhere else but here at the travel oasis. Yeah. When am I going to have a vanilla cone at home? Never. No, it's never going to happen.

We're not going to be driving. One last thing about the travel oasis, I was just going to say, we had just finished at Cracker Barrel. I had the cornflake oven baked chicken, thank you. I can be reasonable sometimes. Again, my kale salad, Barb told me, and the casserole I already rift on, I had eaten that maybe nine minutes before and we walked in and I was like, I should probably get a pretzel though.

I probably just, because we're driving and what if we get stuck in a ditch? It's so bad. I'm suddenly really self-conscious that I have lipstick on my teeth and you guys could see it. Just like when Shadeh was on SNL that time and she had lipstick all across her teeth. No. That's for the 40 year olds, what's that? Yeah.

That's a lot of you. Don't think about that fucking screen at all, you just can't. There we go. Don't do it. You just got to squint a little, Uber, tell me. Don't turn your head to the side, oh, so, look, Steven has been doing my travel planning. Is that for travel or for Steven? It's for Steven.

Yeah. Steven. He's not here. I know. Sorry. That was like, it was scripted and badly done. It was like. Half of the people leave, I don't know, I don't know.

She's angrily storming out, she was only here for Steven. Oh my God. It's mentioned Steven, oh, Steven's not here, aw. Then bring him out. No, sorry, that's not going to happen. And then it's just kidding. God, let's do that one time. Yeah, we have to.

Oh my God. We have to. It's on our writer that we need a six foot black tablecloth so we can surprise people with whatever we want. Oh my God. It's a tiny cracker barrel. Okay, so Steven planned my travel and Georgia planned her own travel so we ended up at different hotels which is super weird and it makes it look like we're Fleetwood Mac and we hate

each other. That's what I would think if I was like, oh, she's staying there and she's, oh, oh, this must be bad. I'm just really controlling and can't leave anything up to anyone else because I'll have a panic attack if anyone does anything wrong. And I'm exactly the opposite of that. If I have to do it, I'm like, I can't do it. I didn't end up going on that tour because I can't open that page on travelpedia or whatever.

So, driving from Indianapolis, you don't know this, driving from Indianapolis to Milwaukee, the time changes. Oh yeah. Backwards? Yeah. An hour back. No, I'm telling you, backwards. So we, that took us a bit to process.

We go upstairs, I start working on my murder. I mean, just so you know, it means the world to me but I can't actually type it down until like 45 minutes before we come to the theater. Submental issue. We keep thanking the hairdressers and makeup artists who are like, well, take your makeup for the tour. For the show. And we're like, you don't understand how ten minutes before we get here, we're screaming

in our hands. We'd love to take people's offer, we'll blow out your hair, come down to Diana's salon or whatever. And we're like, bitch, are you crazy? We're going to go sit in a salon for an hour before this shit happens. Sorry, I was strong. So cut to the chase. I kept assuming that my, the time on my phone was incorrect.

But forgetting that, of course, the phone's smarter than me and it's already caught up to what time it is and really had no problem with it because it really isn't that big of a deal. So I kept looking at my phone to check the time and going, but I also have an hour. But I also have an hour. So when I finally put it together that I did it wrong, I had five minutes to take a shower and get ready. Literally five minutes.

So I end up running downstairs. They got me, they got me a car to drive me over here from my hotel, which is very close. So I run downstairs with wet hair, no makeup glasses, but also this outfit, which is kind of shocking looking. And I run through the lobby and outside. No one's there. I call the number I have for the car place. And the loveliest one was like, oh, honey, he's standing in the lobby waiting for you.

I run past him. I'm in kind of a wet-haired pan. He's like, thank God, that's not, oh. He's like, whoo. I don't know how to deal with that weird crack head that just ran by him. Oh, no, you do. You do, Steve. Get out here.

So Steve comes out, lovely smile, wonderful man, very tall. And he's like, you're going to get right in here, opens the door. I get into this insanely beautiful, like, fancy BMW, very nice car. And we essentially drive around the block kind of a little bit, just took a little tour. And then he pulls down the thing and he comes and opens the door for me. And I look over and there's two women that are standing across. Was it you guys? And not them.

They're standing there just on the sidewalk. And I get out of the car like fucking Rihanna, holy shit. If Rihanna was super not pulled together at all, and Irish. And they're like, hi. Like that. And I go, oh my God, I don't have makeup on or anything. And I just run it, run away. Only makeup.

Bye. So hi. What I meant to say was hi, how are you? Thank you for. Thank you for waiting on the sidewalk. Nice. She's not as nice as she seems on the podcast. She's really superficial about makeup in real life.

Well I got here all made up in a like really old Honda Civic. So. Oh, she's pissed. No, I'm good. I don't have errors, you know what I mean? Like I just want to seem like a normal person. You're super grounded. No, that's true.

You're the one that's grounded and real. You're the Christine McVee of the situation. For sure. Okay. Yeah. I'm also realized that one of the reasons I'm shaking is because we, the fucking green room in this place. Guys, if you can figure out a way to play here, I would do it.

Yeah. We go backstage sometimes and it's like here's, there's like Trident and like a coffee pot if you want to make coffee and like bottles of water. If you brought coffee. Yeah. Totally. And then we go back there and I'm like, is this a restaurant? It's just like a restaurant looking thing.

Yeah. And then we go and whoever, like they're a murderer because they set up the whole place to look like a crime scene. There was a, yeah, there was a, there was a body drawn on the ground with tape that said victim on the side of it. And there were like evidence bags on every table that correlated to the serial killer picture that was on the wall of the guys, the local serial killer, it was like, it was crazy.

What if it actually had been a crime scene? We're just like, this is amazing. Like don't take it down. Like what do you mean? We don't know what your podcast is about. Please don't step there. Don't step there. Yeah.

Now our DNA is everywhere. We, George walked me up to the wall with the, with the art installation of serial killers on the wall and we're like looking at it and then she's like, and this correlates to that or whatever. And then I just felt this thing of like, I'm getting more and more nervous. So I'm like, oh, I don't like this at all. This is expectation. We're way up here.

We don't do that well. But also, listen, we're not bragging. We're just, we're as amazed as you are. There was a barista. What the fuck? I can't even get someone at Starbucks to fucking smile at me. I mean, barista, Alex, thank you for really overcaffeinating us. Yes.

I feel good. I feel great. This is going to be good. Right? Yeah. For real. Very cool. I'm also, and then, should we sit, sit down?

Is it time to sit down? Oh yeah. Let's sit down. Okay. Yeah. Is it time to sit down? Yeah. Thank you.

That's a, that's a nice chair. What that really means is, are we sick of standing? Yes. This is, this is a nice, this is quality. Yeah. Oh Jesus. Just not. This is going to be a room and board chair.

I don't know what that, so last night in Indianapolis, someone gave us backstage, someone gave us these like really fucking sweet thoughtful presents. They gave us me a travel mug that had a Siamese cat on it and it was, I was so sweet and I brought it on stage out as my like drink and I was like, I'm going to bring this, this is going to be my new thing, I'm going to bring it to, it's going to be like my show mug and, because Elvis is here and I fucking forgot it already, already I walked out the hotel room and was like, oh shit, that's just how I am like that. My plan that I declared to the public is over in one fucking, and then when we were first

traveling, I was like, I'm going to put a note in every Bible and every hotel, remember is that? Oh yeah. That's right. I did it in one. Oh. I don't have follow through, it's not my thing. You got to pick something that you can do.

Like a podcast? Yeah. There you go. Got anything else? We also got cupcakes that had our faces on it, which is pretty, pretty weird thing, eat your own face, I'm just saying, but very on brand. Yeah. So that's true.

It is true. Should we read our murder? Should we tell some stories? We're going to tell you some murder. This is, I mean, if you're into that, if you're into true crime. My favorite murder with Karen and George. By the way, looking for a better cooking routine with meal planning, shopping and prepping handled.

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slash murder20 with code murder20. That's up to 20 free meals plus free shipping on your first box when you go to hellofresh.ca slash murder20 and use code murder20. Goodbye. What makes a person a murderer? Are they born to kill or are they made to kill? I'm Candace DeLong and on my new podcast, Killer Psyche Daily, I share a quick 10 minute rundown every weekday on the motivations and behaviors of the criminal masterminds, psychopaths

and cold-blooded killers you hear about in the news. I have decades of experience as a psychiatric nurse, FBI agent and criminal profiler. On Killer Psyche Daily, I'll give you insight into cases like Ryan Grantham and the newly arrested Stockton serial killer. I'll also bring on expert guests to dive deeper into the details, share what it's like to work with a behavioral assessment unit at Quantico, answer some killer trivia and even host virtual Q&As where I'll answer your burning questions. Hey Prime members, listen to the Amazon Music Exclusive Podcast, Killer Psyche Daily, in

the Amazon Music app. Download the app today. Okay, I'm first tonight, right? You are first tonight, yeah. Because, oh man, you guys, you got a lot to choose from. Yeah. Milwaukee. What's going, you have a real Pacific Northwest competition going on with your ‑‑

Yeah. Well, there's so many highways, what do they call them, interstates, just to throw ‑‑ Byways? Byways, byways, byways. Just to us, we just kept driving, we were like, there's so many places ‑‑ Vince was very fucking uncomfortable with this ‑‑ there's just so many places to hide bodies off the road. Yeah.

Like look over there, it's just a line of trees, you could just put a body and no one else ‑‑ You would never find it. You would know what tree you left it under. Unless you wanted them to be found and then you could just put them right there, Vince is like, uh‑huh, yes. He's like, aw, poor guy, oh, I watch wrestling for him, so we're even. No.

Okay. Okay. So the one I picked from you guys is, uh, David Spahnbauer, do you know him? Okay. There were some legit gasps in the front row, third balcony, just so you know, people are genuinely surprised up here. Yeah. I guess no one wants to cheer for him, right?

I wouldn't. It's kind of a bummer. Okay. So David Spahnbauer, did you find this guy? Did you see this guy? No. Okay. Tell me all about him.

He ‑‑ I love true crime. Do you? Oh, my God. That's crazy. Uh, David Spahnbauer was born January 1941 to a Catholic family in Oshkosh. You'll point at me? Oh.

Oh, my God. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What? That's him as a child, actually, 1941, so he's like two or three there. Yeah. He's a perfect looking guy to do the old, hey, why the long face joke. Oh, yeah. Like, what is he going to become a fucking librarian?

You know? Of course he's a murderer. Sorry. Like. And then here's someone on Twitter. I found them to be very anti‑face, face‑problematic, judgmental, superficial negative. Don't shame. Okay.

Face shame. Don't face shame. He dropped out of high school after her 17th birthday, joins the Navy, gets court‑martialed for being absent without leave and spends seven months in the brig, which you know has got to be a bummer. Yeah. And then is dishonored ‑‑ The brig, sorry, but I do picture the brig to be filled with, like, half a foot of water

all the time. Oh, yeah. Dank. Right? There's, like, seahorses and starfish and shit. Your own waiting pool. It's been an amazing ‑‑ I might be thinking of the Little Mermaid, I'm sorry. Thingabobs and what'sits.

Oh, no. He's dishonorably discharged in 1959. Oh, my God! Got it! Holy shit! Yeah. That's how much the Navy will fuck you up. Jesus Santa Claus.

17. That scared the fucking shit out of me. I feel like Stephen's doing this for us on purpose. Cool. Okay. And then you can hold the photos, I'll fucking tell you. The rest are real depressing. So, yeah.

So this fucking ace. The Naval doctors tell his mom that he needs psychiatric care and send a letter to her telling her this, but nothing is done. And then I wrote, because ignoring is the best policy. After he returns to Oshkosh at 19 years old, he begins his life of crime. In January 1960, he broke into a home in Appleton and he stole a bunch of shit, including a .22 handgun. I feel like that's going to come back later.

You think? Yeah. It's actually going to come back in the next sentence. Oh. That quick turn. Don't have to wait. Uh-uh. That's nice.

A night later, he robbed another house in Nina with the same.22 caliber that he just... .22 caliber guns? When we talked about that a sentence ago? Same one. That's called a callback. Karen's like, if this is good writing, we're going to talk about it. Talk about this gun again. And I'm like, oh, I didn't put it in any...

A week later, still in Appleton, he broke into a home where the mother was asleep in another room while her 13-year-old daughter studied. A mask... He was masked. He enters the house, steals some cash. Masked? Yeah. Oh.

I know. He flashes a pistol at the girl and hauls her outside and he says to her, I'm going to rape you. And she says, what does that mean? I know. I know. But the girl screamed and attracted attention and a person came over and he ran off. Thank God.

Yeah. You guys are... Then that same evening, January 12th, 1960, Carol Grady, she's a 16-year-old girl babysitting her cousins. And he is lurking outside, watching through the window, the stolen pistol. He enters the house, takes some cash, and then he rapes her. Yeah. Then her uncle unexpectedly comes home and he shoots him in the face and gets the fuck

out of the house. Whoa. Sorry. Long face shoots the uncle? Uh-huh. Okay. Oh, yeah. Sorry.

I didn't make that clear. That was a real roller coaster of emotions, wasn't it? No, stay down there. Yeah. It's just... It's going to be hard the whole time. Yeah. Just so you know.

It's not done syncing. It just goes straight down. Yeah. Yeah. That's all it is. It's one of those rides that are a pole and then they drop you a little, and they drop you a little, and then you're like, go back, I'm going back up, and then they just fucking plunges you.

Yeah. That's the story. And this one is actually broken, so we're all going to plummet into the ground together. Okay. This one curses a lot and has a little bit of a lisp. Okay, rapes her, kills the uncle, I think he kills him, I didn't really, it didn't say. And then... Well, shoots him in the face.

Yeah. You're not going to... Yeah. About a month and a half later during an attempted robbery in Milwaukee when questioned by police, he breaks down and tells them everything. Oh. Yeah. That was short?

No. Okay. Yeah, and then he goes to prison forever like he's supposed to, and everyone is fine. Yeah. No. At the age of 19, Spahnbauer is tried in a Wisconsin court, the judge labeled him as a sexual deviant, and sentenced him to 70 years in prison, but in May 1972, after just 13 years in prison, he's paroled, and he has a tattoo of a devil on his forearm at that

point, which is... Hmm. Yeah. During... That's kind of on the nose. Yeah. No, it's on the forearm. Oh, oh, oh.

Thank you. That's what you do in a 2,400-C theater. Yeah. So, this is so fucked up. During the summer of 1972, it's a prison work release program, and they put them in city parks and beaches to work. Fun. Yeah.

And it's in the middle of the fucking summer, and there's a bunch of college co-eds, and he tells us like chiatrists that he's having sexual frustration because of all the girls around, and it just is ignored. August 11th, 1972, he drove to Token Creek Park and picked up a hitchhiking 17-year-old waitress on Highway 51, brandishing a knife. He told her he was going to rape her, and when he was through with her, he would run her over with his car and toss her body in a ditch. She started crying.

He started crying. What? It would be great if then a picture came up of him crying. So he rapes her, but then he lets her go. And then she told police that the man had a tattoo of the devil in his form, and I deed him in a suspect lineup, but, oh, okay. He insists that they had consensual sex, and he's found guilty for abduction and rape. An assistant district attorney, John Burr, asked for the maximum sentence of 50 years

on top of what he would receive for violating his parole. But in a turn of events, you guys ready to rage cry? Stubidity at Judge Richard Bardwell reasoned that the rape was much more mild than Spahn Bauer's previous rape. You're like, is there a photo of him? No, this is, and I want to say it's the 1970s, but like, mm. Yep. Okay.

Yeah. This is, I usually just talk to you about this in a room alone, so this is, okay. The one where he, so he said the judge figured he was moving from being a very dangerous sex offender now to merely just dangerous, so there's been some improvement. This is a judge in a court, or is this a guy in a long black shirt back behind the gas station? Like, what the fuck kind of thinking? Only after the lawyer is like, please give him the maximum, my professional opinion is

give him the maximum. And he's like, you know what? I'm going to go ahead. Here's how I'm going to interpret the law, like a goddamn idiot. All right. Sorry. Sorry. No, you're, so here's where it gets the most fucked up.

So he receives a sentence of 18 years in prison on the new charges, but the judge allows the sentence to be served concurrently to his Brown County sentence, so he's released in 1991. Great. Perfect for everybody. Yep. He's, you know, he's just a very, he's just kind of dangerous now, so, yeah. Fresh out of prison, August 23rd, 1992.

He kidnaps 10-year-old Ronnell Eichsted while she's riding her bike. You can put that photo up if you want to make everyone cry. Her bicycle was found near her rural home in Fond du Lac County. And her body was found six weeks later in a corn field ditch near Town Hill State Park near the river, Wisconsin River. Then on Labor Day, September 5th, 1922, 12-year-old Cori Jones was riding her bike on Sanders Road near her grandma's house in Dayton Township. So her body is found five days later.

And almost two years later, on the 4th of July, 1994, 24-year-old Marion Sariha was riding her bike on a county road near Hartman Creek when a maroon Pontiac bangs into her bike and she crashes. He emerges from the car, and then another car comes down the road and he got the fuck out of there, which is good. And then he is fucking burglarizing and raping and just being just a piece of shit. His devil tattoo is just throbbing and lighting up red. We've done it.

So then on November 14th, 1994, Jared Argoll went to his home in combined locks and discovered a man breaking into his house. He gave chase and tackled and wrestled Spanbauer into submission. And when the police arrived, they arrested him on burglary charges. Whoa. This guy fucking ran after him. What was his name again? Yeah.

Gerald Argoll. Nice. Jerry. This does end on a, I gave it a positive spin at the end, so it's okay. Yours is really funny too, right? So we're good. Well, in custody, police noticed the tools in his car match the two home invasion rapes that had happened earlier that fall.

The police kept their interrogations and after four days, he confesses to kidnapping and killing the two little girls. And he is found guilty for first degree intentional homicide and then Jones and Ike Stead murders and guilty on all other counts and was given a total of 403 years. Oh shit. Yeah. Finally. Yeah.

And this was in the 90s, so it was like 25 years later. So Carol Grady, who's the 16-year-old babysitter who had gotten raped way back in 1960, she hadn't known that he had been released from those charges against her. And when she saw the footage of his, this arrest for the murders, she got so fucking pissed off that she had never been notified that he even got out, that she campaigned for truth and sentencing and victim's advocacy, victim rights advocacy. Yeah. That's right.

Yeah. So in May of 97, Carol Grady spearheaded a truth and sentencing proposal and it means that felons would serve the time they are given no early release. 20 years is 20 fucking years. The bill's passed. That's what it says in the bill. I'm 20 years is 20 motherfucking years. So the bill's passed and encompassed any sexual assault, kidnapping, false imprisonment,

incest, all forms of sexual exploitation or exposure to children. And so that passed in 97 and then fucking Spahnbauer died in July of 2002 at Dodge Correctional Institution. Liver disease. Yeah. And that's... So that's really a story about Carol Grady kicking ass. It is.

That's awesome. Well, I'm going to take a left turn. Okay, good. I'm going to do Ed Gein. I didn't do it well, but I did it. Did I do it okay? You do it. It's pretty great.

Karen's going to do Ed Gein. That's how you do it. I was just like a fuck-founded with a seal. We'll clean that up. We'll clean that up. That's us. That's on us. Actually, and here's what I need to say.

Just from the get-go, I actually, if I was, you know, like the real true crime people would just be like, and this is true, it's actually pronounced Ed Gein. No. That's the correct pronunciation. No way. Yes. Yes, way. That's the correct pronunciation.

But if I thought I'm going to do Ed Gein, people would be like, what the fuck is she talking about? Like vagina? Yes. I can say that because he's a serial killer, and I have no filter. Yeah, it's Gein. I'm going to probably end up saying Gein for most of the time. It's just that thing where it's like, well, actually it's pronounced GIF, not GIF.

And it's like, well, good luck with that, because the world says GIF. I pretty much broke up with someone over him telling me that. What? Really? I was just like, I'm done. I'm done. Wait, because he insisted you say GIF? It was just like the last straw for telling him of a cute little GIF, and he's like, it's

actually whatever. And I was like, why did you tell me that? You just get out of a moving car. It's actually a GIF. Goodbye forever, Vince's death roll. Vince is backstage taking a note. Don't correct her on anything. Never mention GIFs around Georgia.

All right, I realized, because for a little while I was thinking I would do Dahmer, right? I mean, my friend Amy O'Neill, who's here tonight, she sent me the funniest picture. She said it was a text and a picture, and it was Ed Gein and Jeffrey Dahmer's faces in the shape of Wisconsin. They filled up the state, and then it just underneath it said, Wisconsin, we eat people. And then her message was, if they still made this shirt, I would buy you this shirt. But I did, when I was like 19, I bought an Ed Gein shirt, and it was just a white T-shirt with that big, famous picture.

I think actually you guys have it, it's the first Ed Gein picture. It was a picture just with that on the front of it. It just looks like a miner, like he's going down to the coal mines. Yeah. But is this a Dorothea Lange photo, or am I supposed to empathize with the working man or be totally disgusted by this guy? It's hard to say. It's hard to know.

But I would walk around, but I think I wore it one time, and then I was just like, I don't know if I can handle being this person. I don't know if I want to be the Ed Gein conversation starter. I was young then. I didn't know who I really was. So you've changed, Karen. I've changed so much over the years. Now I'm 72.

Edward Theodore Gein was born on August 26, 1906 in La Crosse, Wisconsin. Yeah, good job. Come on. His father George was a timid alcoholic, while his mother Augusta was a puritanical lunatic. And together, so they canceled each other out, and they were great. And they had such a happy family. He had an older brother named Henry, and he lived most of his life on a remote isolated 155-acre farm in Plainfield, Wisconsin.

And 2012 Plainfield's population was 862. So back then it was 14. But do they have a cracker barrel? Because we are driving there to Mara. So let's talk about his mother a little bit. She's very, you know, kind of famous and well-known Ed Gein's mother. He was super into her. Her name was Augusta Gein.

She was a devout Lutheran who hated her drunken failure of a husband. Look at her. She looks so nice. No, look at the eyes. Look at the eyes. Oh, my God. It looks like a Disneyland photo when they, like, the eyes follow you when you walk by the room.

Haunted house photo. Yeah. Step that necklace is pretty fucking sweet. It does. It looks like a Halloween store 3D photo where when you start looking, it's like, oh, no, it's a skeleton of things. Oh, my God. Augusta.

Look. Augusta, I have bad news about your son. Oh, no, honey. Her eyes are on fire with the Lord. Oh, man. I can't get over it. I found that picture and I was just like, I want to stare at this picture for the rest of my life.

Haunted. She was positive. She was right. What if Sasha came out and was like, that's the woman he saw. I was like, oh, that was the woman on the second floor. That was the ghost I saw. I love her. Okay.

So Devout Lutheran hated her drunken failure of a husband, but she believed divorce was a sin. So instead of making her life better for herself, she decided to make it awful for everybody else. It happens. She became mired in misery and religious obsession and she didn't want any outsiders influencing her boys. So after school, Henry and Ed had to come straight home, do their chores around the farm.

They were not allowed to have friends or date and their house never had electricity. I don't know why that detail is the one that really put a chill down my spine. You know why? Just growing up in candlelight. Oh, it's got to fuck you up. With Augusta's eyes, I'll like, let me read out of the Bible to you. So every room you pass by, can you imagine at night you have to pee and you have to pass by all these dark rooms or the candle?

It's dark in the daytime. Look at those windows. Jesus. H. Yeah. Oh, you know, there was a gnarly basement in there, too. They have like three sub-basements. Yeah they were like, when they were putting in electricity, they went by and they're like, Augusta, we can hook you up.

No, thank you. Nope. We're going to keep it super dark like Jesus wants. So every night after dinner, she made them participate in a thing called Bible Time where she would read to them out of the Old Testament for hours about how the world was a bastion of perversion and profanity and that all women were instruments of the devil and natural born whores, or as I like to imagine her saying it, whores. They're all whores.

It's like a 10-year-old and an 8-year-old whores. I told you. Mom, it's actually sex worker. Shut up. Boom. Mom, you're not supposed to say that. Now, this is super interesting. Census records indicate that Augusta became pregnant with her older son, Henry, before

she was married to George, which back then, as we know, would have been a major scandal and maybe it was even illegal, so she fudged the dates and got married before anyone realized what was going on. Got a big old baby, right? That's right. Who are now Augusta, eyes, crazy eyes. Isn't that always the way? They saw us close up with those eyes, but these weren't meant to be close up eyes.

No. Because it was back then, it was there. Look at them. I should have had Stephen zoom way in on the eyes. Or do a gift where we just keep going into her eyes. You guys get hypnotized and then you're like, the show was great. It was wonderful. I loved the show.

Karen and Georgia. Of course, they can play a 2400 seat theater. No. Why not? Okay. So, okay. I slut shamed Augusta. Good.

That's out of the way. Little revenge on Augusta. So Ed himself was said to be, as a child, quiet, effeminate. He had odd mannerisms like laughing to himself in the middle of class for no reason. I mean, it's like saying, please punch me at recess. And he had a droopy eye and the kids called him milk sob. What's that? I don't know, but it's so fucked up.

It's not. It's not. It's just so mean. No. Yeah. It's like you're soaked in milk or something. Yeah. They say it all the time.

They say it all the time. They say it so much. Okay. So, on April 1st, 1940, I wrote Ed's boozebag dad died from booze. I got a little carried away while I was typing, and then I wrote Augusta was like, yay. I can finally be myself. Eyes. So then to help earn money, the boys who are now, you know, closer to actual grown men,

they started getting odd jobs around town, like chopping wood for neighbors and babysitting. That's odd. Yes. That's an odd job for Ed. Odd job. Yeah. Ed Gein was a babysitter, which I thought would be an amazing fan fiction storyline for the babysitters club.

If anybody wants to do that, I'm like, Steven, write that down, Steven, write that down. Are you sure you want Ed to be in the club, Stacy, Claudia, Claudia, he took the babysitter's oath. He gets to be in the babysitters club. Yeah. I actually had to text my friend, Julian McCullough, who's a comic who actually did read all 35 books of the babysitter's club when he was the son, and I was like, can you give me some babysitter club names so I can write this joke because he's going to listen

to this and he's going to get real pissed off. Yeah, I would think so. Okay. Anyway, now that his dad was dead, Ed could have his mother all to himself, which is what he wanted. He doted on her. He loved her. It was all about Ed in Augusta 24 seven.

And to the point where Henry was like, you guys, he was bumming out. He was starting to realize that maybe Bible time wasn't for him anymore, like he started dating a divorcee who had kids in town and he was like saying to Ed, like, what's, what are you doing? This is weird. So then on May 16th, 1944, while Ed and Henry were burning some brush on the property, the fire that they started to get, I guess, do some kind of a back burn or I don't know, a farm burn, you know, the fire got out of control.

So Ed ran to the sheriff and he was like, we need help to put this fire out. And they get back to the fire and the fire is out, but now no one can find Henry. And so when the sheriff asked, did you go check up at the house to see if Henry went back home, Ed just didn't say anything. And so then they said, well, maybe we should search the property to see if he's still here on the farm. And so then Ed just led them directly to Henry's dead body, which was out where the fire was. But interestingly, he was face down on the ground and he was in a patch of scorched earth,

but his clothes were not burnt in any way. So they, of course, didn't suspect foul play and the doctor said he died of asphyxiation and so sorry to you, the Geans, we'll send a casserole over. So at Henry's funeral, Ed Gean was reported to has been saying things to people like, Henry would have been a great disappointment if he had lived, like play a fucking role for a minute, dude. Just hold off for an afternoon. And then he was also saying to people, well, it's just me and mama now, Ed, mom's like,

fuck, I mean, I'm crazy, but this guy, but I'm not into my son. Okay. So a year and a half later, Augusta has a stroke and Ed is her nurse. He takes care of her day and night until she dies. And that's when he loses his shit, as we all know, that he becomes the Ed game that we know and love in a way that seems sick, but actually is more fascination and interest. It's not respect. We don't want to have dinner with him.

We know he's a bad person. Doesn't make us bad people. Yeah. We don't love serial killers. No. That's crazy. Co-workers. Good friends.

Good friends who should understand me better. Yeah. Okay. Like you're allowed to have babysitters club, but I can't have murder. That's perverted. I don't say anything to you. Except in front of 2,400 people. Oh, yeah, except for right now.

Right. Okay. So now he's a middle-aged man who has been isolated his entire life on a farm with no electricity. And everything was fine? And everything turned out fine. A man who believes that sex is bad, that women are bad, that the outside world is evil. Well, is he wrong?

Well, no, you're right. He's right. So the first thing he does is board up the three rooms that his mother used. So the entire upstairs, he boards off, and then he boards off her bedroom and the parlor, the living room, whatever. Any place that she used to go, now no one can go. And those rooms were kept exactly as they were when Augusta died until the house burned down.

Spoiler alert, they fucking burned the house down. It's such a great, when you read it, they're like, oh, he was arrested, everyone knows he was arrested. But he was arrested. And then there were the talks that they were going to turn it into, oh, they're going to make it into a tourist attraction or whatever. And then the next day, it's burned to the ground, everyone's like, I seriously haven't seen anything, and I don't know what happened at all.

Can you imagine going into, like being the cop who pulls the board down and walks into that fucking room? What if the green room upstairs is actually based on the parlor? With a barista, she had a barista. And everything. Oh, she had really good tortilla chips. Like legit guac. And an NBA jam video game.

Oh my God, they didn't have electricity, that doesn't make sense. Okay, okay, sorry, let's go back. So Ed starts buying what are called in many articles, yet I don't understand what they mean, death cult magazines. Death cult, also detective magazines. There was a magazine back then called detective magazine that was basically a true crime magazine, but it was also like naked ladies and stuff like that. Oh my God, I need these.

Right? We need to order them right now. Not the current issues, like the, you know, vintage. It's vintage. You open it and it's just like a huge centerfold. Anyway, he's basically getting into all the things his mother said, you can't ever look at this. Obviously, that's what humans do.

He especially liked reading about Nazis and cannibals. One night around this time, his neighbors invite him over to dinner because you know the mom of that family was like, I just worry about that Ed Keane sitting up in that farmhouse all by himself. Yeah. Lost his whole family. That's amazing. I'm not even going to try to do it.

Guys, I love Fargo. It's such a great film. Do it again. All that for just a little bit of money. So they invite Ed over for dinner. Well, it goes as you would imagine because Ed's never been around people or electricity and they had also invited a female relative to be at the dinner, which apparently Ed just stared at her like he was some say undressing her with his eyes.

Some would argue he was doing other things like skinning her with his eyes. Needless to say, the dinner ended relatively soon. And a couple nights later, the young boy and the family wakes up. He's being held in a chokehold and this intruder is whispering in his ear asking where this female relative is right now. And the little boy tells his family, I think it was Ed Keane. And then they're like, oh, wow. And they never tell the police.

What? They don't want to be rude. Don't make a fuss. Oh my God. He's, you know, look, he's, he's our neighbor. Wow. I don't know. It's just coming through me now.

I'm channeling it. I don't know. It might be the ghost. It's the ghost. What if it's the ghost? The ghost had a really strong accent, okay. Other neighbors report that they see Ed Keane just straight up peeping, tomming right in their window.

He's straight up peeping, tomming all over town. He's not doing well with the socializing. So then in 1954, a Tavern owner named Mary Hogan disappears. The police find blood on the bar room floor, and they suspect foul play, but the case goes cold. And later on, when Ed overhears some locals talking about Mary's disappearance, he says, oh, she's not missing. She's at my farmhouse right now.

And she like, what the fuck? But instead they're like, Ed, you fucking nut, get out of here. A little milk-soap over here. The milk-soap. I'm in his jokes. Milk-soap. Okay. So then three years later, on November 8, 1957, a woman named Bernice Warden disappears.

She owns the local hardware store, and this hardware store had been closed all day, which was unusual. But most people in town thought maybe it was because it was the first day of deer hunting season. For real, they're like, oh, Bernice. It's a holiday. She loves to get a good 10-point buck and then come on back to the... But her son, Frank, who was also the deputy sheriff, when he can't get a hold of her,

he goes to the hardware store. He finds the cash register is open and there's blood on the floor. And when he looks at the receipt book, the last thing that happened in that store was a bottle of antifreeze was sold to Ed Gein. Holy shit. So a little while later, they find him at the grocery store and they arrest him. And then they go out to the Gein Farm. And they're in a shed next to the house.

They find Bernice Warden's decapitated body, and it is hung upside down and dressed out like you would a hunted deer. It is... Holy shit. Mistakenly, mistakenly, mistakenly, yes. You did not look at them. Clicked on that fucking picture. Are you fucking kidding me?

It is. Don't put it... Don't look up there. You look up like you're like, and you look so horrible. And everybody, merry fucking Christmas. It's the worst. It's very, very, very upsetting. I don't recommend accidentally looking at it in your hotel room while you're by yourself.

Wow, I feel like lightheaded. Yeah. Well, really, then you might want to lay on the ground because I have some stuff to tell you. I have some bad news. That's not it? Yeah. Apparently, so what Ed Gein did, he went into that hardware store.

He took a.22 rifle off the shelf and shot her with the rifle from her own store. So when they searched the house, I'm just going to read you a list of what the authorities found. I thought that would be fun for everybody. Everyone, sit back. Let's hear it. They find a... There's a pot of water on the stove and inside it is her heart.

That's just walking in the door, friends. There is a wastebasket made of human skin. There's human skin covering several chair seats. There are skulls on his bed posts. There are skulls sitting around with the tops sawn off. There are bowls that are made of skulls. He just did skulls every way you could. He really liked bowls.

I guess... I mean, I guess what else are you going to do with a fucking skull? I mean, that's right. A candle holder? Maybe. I don't know. You stick like male in the front, in the eye socket. We're being insensitive now.

We're being absolutely... That's just simply incorrect. He made a corset from a female torso skin from the shoulders to the waist. He made leggings from human leg skin. No! I just pictured that in... Yeah. Well, turn that picture thing off because he made masks from the skin of female faces,

heads. What the fuck? He had Mary Hogan's face mask in a paper bag. He had her skull in a box. He had Bernice Warden's entire head in a burlap sack. He had nine vulvae in a shoebox. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Yeah. That's the outer pussy, everybody, if you don't... I feel like there's people that don't know. Don't you think there's a couple of people that are like, what is that, the elbow skin or whatever? Don't you think? Oh, yeah. You know?

Yeah. It would have less impact if you weren't... Is that that thing when they eat chalk and it wobbles? Is that that... Oh, I need to get my vulvae removed. Oh, my God. Stop it. Someone brought their dad, I bet, here.

I know. Jesus. There's definitely at least one person that was to their friend like, you have to come. I know you've never heard it before, but you're going to love it. Last night, a girl whispered in my ear and she was leaving, I'm on a Tinder date right now. I was like, yes, you're not going on a second one, honey.

That's a special section of Tinder. Of course, there's the belt made from female nipples, the famous. We actually had a lovely fan murderino send us a crocheted version of that belt. Which I forgot to put on Instagram, but, yes, it is gourd and made me laugh when I realized what it was. I laughed so fucking hard, I scared the cats, I was alone. Because when we opened it, it was like, we were like, what's this? A cat toy?

And we were kind of like, what's this? I guess it's nice colors or whatever, but we were kind of just like that and then... I went to take a photo of it after they left, just to send them, I still don't know what this is, and then I looked through my lens and I was like, oh my God. And then I started laughing and I was like, we have the best listeners. You know, this American life doesn't get shit like that, right? Sorry, Ira, or if they do, they like call the police or something. Side track, four noses, can write back into it, right?

A lampshade mane for the skin of a human face, fingernails from female fingers. And this is my, I'm not going to say the word favorite, but it's the one that fascinates me the most. He had a pair of lips tied to a window shade drawstring, so it was like, oh, that sun is too bright. Ed, what the fuck, Ed? Man, what do you think his Pinterest would look like? That'd be a bummer.

You guys don't tell anybody what we said tonight, okay? Please don't tell anyone, please. Let's keep it between us. So when they questioned him, oh, just so you'd know, they photographed all these things, sent it to the crime lab, got what they needed, and then it was all destroyed, so none of this could get out. What? Yeah.

So if you ever are like, oh, I just bought Ed Gein's nipple belt, you've been conned. Because they were immediately like, this is the worst of, this is the worst of human existence. Well, put the woman flayed on the Internet, but everything else needs to be destroyed. Just, can I get a one-lips window thing? I just, I don't know why, I just think it's interesting. Okay. I don't.

So when he's questioned, Ed Gein tells investigators that between 1947 and 1952, he made as many as 40 nocturnal visits to three local graveyards. It's a town with 600 people, and they have three fucking graveyards, what's happening? He would go there, and he would exhume recently buried bodies. So what he would do, he would look in the paper in the obituaries. And if there was somebody who died that was a woman who was around the age his mother was, when she passed Augusta, you've done it again, coming back into Ed's life. He would go and dig up that body or go take a couple parts that he wanted.

He also made a point to tell the police that he would return a lot of the jewelry. Good of you, Ed, good of you. What a gentleman. He also said that when he would go there and do that, he was in a day's like state, which is like, oh, really? You weren't normal? You weren't like sharp as a tack. And he also told the police that he left the graves in apple pie order, which what the

fuck kind of saying is that? Oh, my God. Apple pie. What, left him all in the apple pie, you wouldn't believe it. So, okay, so, sorry, I lost my spot. This is the biggest paragraph with things like face skin and nipples in it that I've ever read. And just like, oh, I got past that.

Which nipple was I at? Okay, so what he was doing, as we all know, and it has been taken, this is Ed is the reason that you got super scared when you watched Psycho, when you watched Silence of the Lambs, when you watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre, that's all this fucking lunatics doing. Because what Ed was trying to do was make a woman suit so he could be inside his mother's body. A psychologist would just take that one apart really quick. I think in like 10 minutes.

I mean, yeah, it's just an argument against reading out of the Old Testament. Straight into your child's face with no lights on and not letting him have friends or sex or anything, obviously. Let your child have sex. If we have one message to leave you with tonight, Jesus. That was the night that they got arrested just for speaking. It should end on a green room like that, though. We'd really go out on top.

So basically, he would put this lady suit on and put the face on his face, go into the backyard, he had like an incantation dance he would do under the moonlight. He was fucking nuts and all alone, way out in the country. And the cops asked him if he had sex with any of these dead bodies, he said, no, they smelled too bad. Oh, so. They're like, I'm sorry, you fuckface, you can suddenly you have standards, okay, alright. He and then in that interrogation, he admitted to killing Mary Hogan, the tavern owner because

he was in the tavern and he heard her talking and he thought she had a foul mouth and that she didn't deserve to live. Oh, shit, so we'd be dead as well. Would we or would we fight him off? I would pull out a Bible and be like, guess what, I can read the Bible too, Ed. Now you have to do what I say. Okay, so this is what he said when he was interrogated by district attorney Earl Killeen. He said, quote, I started to visit graveyards in the area regularly about 18 months after

my mother died. Most nights I would just stand and have private conversations with my mom. Other times I couldn't make myself go home without raising one of them up first. Maybe on about nine occasions I took somebody or part of somebody home with me. Now I don't even know what accent I'm doing. It was kind of an evil spirit I couldn't control. That's where the apple, oh, sorry, the saying is he left the graves in apple pie order. So there was a piece of American cheese on every grave.

Local jokes get local work, okay. And he basically said that the reason that he did it was he had an uncontrollable desire to see a woman's body. Oh, Ed, that's natural and normal. You don't have to make a woman's suit to look at a woman's body. All right, so this is a sad part is the Wasara County Sheriff, Ed Schley, is the sheriff who was handling the case and he was the one that interrogated Ed Gein. And so when Ed Gein was listing, when they had all this evidence and he was telling them

all these terrible things and he was just confessing all of it very directly, Art Schley took Ed Gein's head and bashed it into a brick wall. I mean, you know, yeah, that sounds about like the right reaction. What else are you supposed to fucking do? So then the judge decided there was no way that that confession could hold up in court because excessive force was used. And Ed Schley died of heart failure before the trial even started. He was only in his late 40s, and a lot of people count him as another victim of Ed

Gein because it was so traumatic what he went through looking at all that stuff and being around it and having to have that experience, which I mean, Jesus Christ. So there's, I think we do have a picture. It's Ed Gein getting walked by a big tall guy. That's Art Schley, who was the sheriff who, yeah, he's just like, what the fuck? I didn't know life was like this. Yes, I mean, I thought it was like something else. I would like to go back to the other place, please.

So basically, he went to court, he was convicted. There was obviously an insane amount of evidence and they knew he did it. He didn't fight it. When he was convicted, they told him, the locals burned his house down. That's my theory. That's not. That's alleged. But basically, they were like, oh, you think you're going to make a carnival out of this

shit? Goodbye. Also, there was no electricity in the house, so it's like something sparked, fucking burned down. You know what I mean? They were like, oh, I think a comet hit it. Yeah, yeah, I saw a comet too. And then when they told Ed that his house burned down, he goes, it's just as well.

Fucking Ed, right? What a milk sock. He died in Medota state mental hospital at age 77. And that's Ed Guy in everybody. Thank you. You do those heavy hitters so well. You do. That's why I didn't do Dahmer.

I was like, she's going to do one of the big ones. I'm going to let her do a heavy hitter. That's right. That's how we do it. You can have them. I'm going to do the horrible child killers that are recent and horrible. Yeah. That's how we do it.

Yeah. I mean... That's our Cagney and Lacey kind of setup. That's how we like to do it. Which one? We're both Laverne's. I don't know. Before the show, Georgia goes, ooh, should we both get L's to sew onto our dresses?

I'm like, yes, double Laverne. Yes. We can all be adorable, Shirley's. It's time for a hometown murder, I think, should we do it? I think, though, I think we know, sorry, I do think we know because there's someone that sent a tweet, a Twitter, and it's someone, shit, I memorized the name and then I got all caught up in my rock and roll lifestyle upstairs. It's a person who sent the tweet whose dad texted them about Ed Gein and there's a series

of texts and they tweeted and said, we've got your hometown tonight if you want to hear it. I didn't know. I was like, don't tell me. Surprise me. Yeah. I kept a secret. So if you are here and you know what I'm talking about, well, you come down here.

Usually there's a screen by now. And that's an honor system, so don't try to lie your way through it once you get up here. I think that's... I think your name is... Was it Tracy? Yell if... Mm-mm. Is it Sarah?

I think her car broke down. Are you walking or just sitting in a chair yelling at me? I don't think she's here. Man. All right. Take another one. Well, no, if she knows her name is Sarah. I bet she's looking at the Twitter right now.

Did you? Am I right? I don't know. What did they say? I don't know. She's in the bathroom. She's in the bathroom. Is that true?

What a nightmare. Okay. Don't say... Wait. Before she gets back. Before she gets back. Wait. We have to do a trick on her before she gets back.

I can't think of what it is. You go sit in her seat. Okay. Where is it? Oh, my God. Don't let him talk. Oh, my God, don't let him touch you, Karen. Jesus, help me.

She really did that. Where is it? Right here? Is this her seat? Where is it? Are you fucking kids real? Oh, my God. I thought you guys were making a joke.

Can I slide in that? I'm not going that way. Oh, shit. I'm going to have to put my butt in front of everybody's face. Yeah. I'll go this way. I'll go this way. Karen, I'm up here alone.

Oh, sorry. I forgot. I'm going to go too. Oh, my God. Georgia, do a type five. Oh, is that you? Yeah. Shit, I was going to do a trick on you.

Come with me. Oh, my God. Oh, wait. Is there a way? Sasha. Oh, my God. Can I get a microphone? Oh, we're seat.

Oh, we're still doing the trick. Georgia left. No, wait. We're here. Can I get a microphone? Where did everyone go? Georgia, you can never leave. You can't leave.

You can't leave. Where did everyone go? Georgia, you can never leave the stage. I feel like I'm having a nightmare. Is that her? I'm pretty sure I did. Sarah, get over here right now or you are in serious trouble. Oh, she's getting her phone.

She's getting her phone. You don't need her phone. Right? Okay. Grab my hand. Grab my hand. Are you going to walk us to the stage? How do we get up there fast?

Well, I can tell you that this was horrible. I don't care if you had to pee, Sarah. If you're at a professional show, you stay in your seat the entire time. Doesn't matter. What are the fucking chances that the one person we called out? Yes. The one fucking person is peeing. The chances were one in 2400.

Thank you. Yeah. That makes, I don't know, math. It's like one sip of beer less and she would have not had to go through all of this and neither would I have. Here I have it. Karen, Karen, Karen. I have it.

Okay, okay. Come on, come on. Look it. There she is. Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness. No, I'm just... She's in the bathroom.

Come here. Sorry, I really had to pee. Come. Okay. Sorry. Are you... Are you... You seem so chill about all of this.

No, I'm very scared. Are you scared? Let's talk about it. He should be. Let's talk about it. I already peed. You're shaking, right? I kind of like that I can't see anything.

I know. Isn't that good? It's good. Where are you from? From Milwaukee. From Wauwatosa. Milwaukee. Born and raised.

Local. Yes. What street do you live on? I'm not going to say. Good, good call. Because I don't want to get murdered. That's right. That was a test.

Yes. So I'm going to tell this story through my own dad's words. It's beautiful. Yeah. I can't say it any better. Okay. What's your name? As my father.

Wait, what is he? Are we going to know what he does for a living? He's a psychologist. So cool. What's his first name? Steve. Steve. Okay.

Steve is a psychologist. Great. And as a college student, before he married my mother. What's her name? Sandy. Stephen Sandy. Stephen Law. Oh, Stephen Sandy.

Yes. Married in Milwaukee. Yes. Yeah. Right out of college? Yeah. Right out of college. Right out of college.

In Madison. Yep. Yep. Yep. Stay dead. So my dad says, I was a volunteer at Mendota Mental Health, working with kids. You guys go there? Okay.

Okay. Okay. Two stays and Thursdays. Yeah. Love it. Twice a week. The nurses brought in Halloween costumes and we took the kids' trigger treating to the other units.

What? Hold on. Yeah. Yeah. Get him on the phone right now. What? I thought I could call him. Are you serious?

Yeah. Get him on the phone. I can. Oh my God. You want me to keep reading it so you know the background? Yeah. You want to tell it and then we'll call him after? Yeah.

Okay. Because that's... Okay. We'll ask him about it. He's good at writing. That's insane. We'll have questions. He said, it was a weird year because someone poisoned Tylenol in Chicago.

Oh. It was 1982. Yes. What? Yes. So people were scared and kids were not trigger treating. Oh, so take him to the mental hospital. It was the kids from the mental hospital.

Wait, what? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So nurses on the other units had candy and patients would give our kids treats. Oh, I got it.

On some units, it was too dangerous and they would slip the candy through a security slot in the door. Oh my God. Those children are like... I'm worse now. Those kids. But we went on the gerontology psych unit. Old people.

I feel like they're... Like it's scared straight kind of. Yeah. That was safe. And old people gave the kids Reese's Cups. We were waiting for all the old people who wanted to come give away some candy. And a nurse asked, Eddie, do you want to give the kids some candy? And I turned around and there he was.

What? He did not want to hand out any candy. We said a quick hi to each other and he asked if we would be gone soon. I said, yeah, and that was it. So kids all over the country couldn't trick or treat because it wasn't safe, but my kids trick or treated to a cannibalistic necrophile and we're safest can be. Oh my God. That was all in that...

All those texts? Yeah. Can we get him on the phone real quick? Yeah. Oh, no. Because that was a gorgeously written series of texts. Okay. Dad cell, it says.

Yeah, he better answer. It's on you. Should I put him on speaker phone? Yes, you should. Oh, no. Come on. Steven. Steven.

He's in the bathroom. Let's all talk to him. Yeah, we are. Please record your message. When you finish recording, you may hang up or press one or longer. Steve, this is everybody at the Riverside Theater right now. You said I could call you. We're here.

We've got your daughter. We've got your daughter. And we're having a great old time. Bye. Bye. Thank you. That was awesome. It's okay.

It's amazing. That hurts. These last 10 minutes have been the worst of my life. She was nervous. She was nervous. She just wanted to leave. I guess she's a Karen. Vince said to me, I'm going to give you a tip.

If you're losing the crowd, I'll give you a baseball tip for a Green Bay baseball tip. Oh. To tell them so they'll get back with you. What? It's football. It's football. Football? I just put it together in my head.

You know what? I actually don't give a shit. Was that the tip? Because it worked great. They wrapped it. They wrapped it. No, he's dying. I bet you right now.

He said, just tell them I'm named after Vince Lombardi. You like me again? What an amazing baseball tip that was. Fuck yes. I was at first, I was so scared that I was saying the wrong team from a different state that I was like, oh, football? Okay. Whatever.

It's a different sport. Fine. You were positive it was going to be Minnesota, right? Yeah. You kept saying Minnesota. She got the state. She got the state perfectly fine. Yeah.

The state was exactly right. And that's what matters. You guys, this show has been fucking incredible. Wow. Thank you so much. Roller coaster. Honestly. Roller coaster.

There's highs, there's lows. We were very, very nervous to come out here. But you guys were amazing. Twice the size of every show we've done. Thank you. And thank you. Thank you for being the first city where there was such a demand for tickets that they moved the fucking location.

I mean, I guess the only thing we have to say to that is stay sexy. And don't get married. Thank you. Bye.