My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - 91 - Live at the Sony Centre in Toronto

Episode Date: October 19, 2017

In this week’s episode, Karen and Georgia cover killers Paul Bernando and Karla Homolka, and the murder of Lynne Harper. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is exactly right. in Hollywood. It's a story of glamour and scandal and political intrigue and a battle for the soul of the nation. Hollywood Exiles, from CBC Podcasts and the BBC World Service. Available now on Spotify. This episode is brought to you by Interac. Interac has a range of tools to help your business grow. Quickly and easily identify customers with Interac Verified. Pay your employees via bulk disbursement with Interac eTransfer for Business or pay vendors with large sum payments up to $25,000. Plus your payments are safe with
Starting point is 00:00:57 authentication and transaction encryption. Interac, we geek out on your business. Learn how at interact.ca slash for business. Terms and conditions apply. A big announcement to make right now. This is our 2018 winter slash spring tour. Get ready to see if your city is involved. Yay, go. Karen, you start. January 20th, we're going to be at the Red Rock Ballroom in Las Vegas, Nevada.
Starting point is 00:01:22 On January 21st, we're going to be at the Celebrity Theater in Phoenix, Arizona. On January 26th, we're going to be at the Orpheum Theater in New Orleans, baby. That's going to be fun. January 27th, Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center,
Starting point is 00:01:33 Atlanta. Atlanta. January 29th, Andrew Jackson Hall in Nashville, Tennessee. February 2nd, Connor Palace, Cleveland, Ohio.
Starting point is 00:01:41 February 3rd, Palace Theater, Columbus, Ohio. February 16th, Kinsbury Hall, Salt Lake City, Utah. What happened? I don't know. March 16th, Orpheum Theater, Los Angeles. Okay. And then ready? May 8th, Thicker Street, Dublin, Ireland. Hello, Ireland. May 9th, Folkaterrit. I have no idea what that word is. We're in Oslo, baby. We're in Oslo, Norway. What the fuck? May 11th. China Theater, Stockholm, Sweden.
Starting point is 00:02:08 Sweden, that's my birthday, so you better buy me a cake. Oh, shit. May 12th. Hammersmith, Apollo, London. We're fucking playing the Hammersmith Apollo in London. Finally, London. May 13th. Royal Northern College of Music. Manchester, UK. Manchester. And May 16th.
Starting point is 00:02:27 Mirvart, Amsterdam, the Netherlands. We're going to Oslo in Amsterdam. What is happening? It's so crazy. Okay, so on Monday, the 23rd of October, the ticket links on myfavoritemurder.com slash live and on social media will go up. And then on Wednesday, the 25th, we'll have a fan presale. The password will be allCAPSMURDERINO. So if you want to get these tickets early
Starting point is 00:02:48 fan style, you have to go and enter the password ALLCAPSMURDERINO. So if you go to myfavoritemurder.com slash live and click on whatever place you want to buy it and then, you know, you get you guys are smarter than us. And then if you don't care that much, on Friday October 27th, it just goes on sale
Starting point is 00:03:04 generally. And then good luck from there God bless you God bless you and we'll see you guys in 2018 we'll see you soon bye Elvis you want to go on tour? bye My savior What's up Toronto? There, there, there, there, there. What's up, Toronto? There it is.
Starting point is 00:04:13 There, there, there. The magic. My mic is here. My mic is here. My mic is here. My mic is here. For an hour and a half, that's all we're doing. That's the show.
Starting point is 00:04:26 Yay. Comedy. Oh, my God. This is the biggest show we've ever done, you guys. Yeah. Good job. Fucking Canada representing big time. Pretty nice. We like you guys more than our own country right now.
Starting point is 00:04:53 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get us a green card or whatever it takes to live here. Please. Please don't make us go back. No. We're going to get detained if we say that. We're excited to be here. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:05:14 Guys, can I just explain my outfit really quick? Everyone was wondering and waiting. I just... I got a job here at the theater two weeks ago and I love pulling that curtain. It's just who I am. Um, here's what happened. When we were recently in Australia, I brought, um, these high heels with me that took up all this room in my suitcase. And every day I, I scorned them and I, I hated them and I glared at them. And at the end
Starting point is 00:05:53 of the 10 day trip, I left them on my hotel room bed. Like, fuck you. You're on your own in a foreign country, piece of shit, high heel shoes. They're on their way back to her right now. That's right. Like a sad journey. Yeah. They're like, they're like those, those cats that can walk all the way home and like their owners move 500 miles away years later. Like here I am, you son of a bitch. Um, but I conveniently forgot that when I went to put all my things together for this trip. So I had my fancy, fancy dress last night. And then I realized when I got to the theater, I did not have shoes for a very, very fancy dress. And so Georgia's like, that's okay.
Starting point is 00:06:36 You can wear that. And I'm like, thank God. This is actually what I want to wear. The thing is... Yeah. Let's hear it for theater blacks. They're so slimming
Starting point is 00:06:52 or at least you can tell yourself that I just made that up and I never took an improv class. No. I didn't either. Did you just no butt me? and the thing is it works for you
Starting point is 00:07:08 because you're like you were goth anyways when we decided when we decided to wear black to the shows I had like all I have is like fucking paisley shit that like Mrs. Roper would wear and like crazy muumuu and like vintage things with moth holes in them
Starting point is 00:07:24 so I was like I have to get a black dress I like literally owned one so now my closet's full of that and so you were like let's wear what we're wearing now and I just had a shirt on a gray shirt that said the husband did it I'm like I can't wear that what more would you want a show like this you also had a really
Starting point is 00:07:40 good Arthur Fonzarelli leather jacket on I was like this is a great look for us let Let's switch out of, uh, the fancy dress area. Yeah. I support it. Yeah. Well, I did. I do. I mean, well, thanks. I appreciate it. Um, yeah, that's it. But wait, but there is a surprise because George's dress has, you guys are like Celine Dion. It's even better. George's dress has, you guys are like, Celine Dion? No. It's even better. George's dress has pockets.
Starting point is 00:08:09 Check it out. Yes. And I'm wearing, and I'm like, I'm blaming it on you, but I'm so fucking happy to be doing it. The truth is to not wear my shitty shoes, uncomfortable dress shoes out here. Yeah. And wear my fucking stanky ass slip-ons. Look at them.
Starting point is 00:08:31 Oh. She bought the first pair of Toms. That's them right there on her feet. It's not. No children are helped with these shoes. In fact, I think children probably made these shoes. They're from like a Rexall or something. They're like, you can tell I'm a bad person
Starting point is 00:08:51 from across the room by the fact that I bought these shoes. Because you were like, I could buy Toms and support children. Ooh, look at these are on sale. Right. And I don't like the way Toms go all the way up and they just don't look good on me.
Starting point is 00:09:02 So I'm getting these shitty ones and I'm a bad person. Guys, here's the best thing that's happened i feel like since we've gone on tour today we pulled off in Dunham. They don't know it. Because Georgia had to pee. And there was no gas station right off the freeway. So we kind of had to drive into the city a little bit. The town.
Starting point is 00:09:39 Yeah. We'll call it a town. And we pulled over at like what looked like a little corner grocery store. And Georgia jumps out. She's like, I'll be right town. And we pulled over at like a, what looked like a little grocery, corner grocery store. And Georgia jumps out. She's like, I'll be right back. And runs inside. I had to pee so bad. It was emergency levels.
Starting point is 00:09:53 Yeah. I'm a baby. So then Vince and I are sitting in the minivan. Yeah, that's right. And he's like, I have to pee too. And I'm like, yeah, I have to. Why aren't we getting out? I have to pee too.
Starting point is 00:10:11 We get out and we go into the store and this store is, is half the size of this stage. Okay. We start walking around. There's no bathroom in the store and Georgia is not in the store. And it was 20 seconds max between the time that we went into the store and the time she went into the store. And at first I was like, don't be crazy. You know, like as I'm walking and she's not there and there's no sign that says restroom, there's nothing. And then as I came back this way, I crossed an aisle and I saw Vince walking this way, which means we were both covering all of the store at the same time. and she was not in the store. And then I was just like, this is how it fucking happens. Usually it's a baby or a small child, but still, it's happening.
Starting point is 00:10:54 You lost her, Georgia. We lost her in Dunham 10. Turns out there was a door. Maybe that's what you couldn't see. And I did the thing where I was like, not asking for permission, because I've got to pee so bad. And I know, it's like one of those places where you're like, there's no way they're going to let me.
Starting point is 00:11:13 Even if I go, it's an emergency, you know, try to be cute. Get really small. Yeah. It's an emergency. I'm seven. I just, I just saw, I came in, saw the door and fucking booked it through like, what was obviously like the storage area. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:30 And I was like, these people who work here got to be somewhere. So I'm going to be there too. Yeah. And it was one of those things where it's like, clearly this is not for customers because it hasn't been cleaned in 40 years. It's a mop in the corner while you're paying and stuff. I didn't give a fucking shit. Weirdly though,
Starting point is 00:11:46 the toilet had a toilet seat warmer, like attachment on it. Oh, those people know how to live. I know. Yeah. This is why they don't want anyone to use the bathroom. They don't want to know they're not spending the money on the floors.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Yeah. They're like, they don't want other people in there. Cause they're like, I need to go in there and have my time. Yeah. Just sit around on the toilet for a while. I was warm. Just a moment of real life. I don't even have to pee. I'm just going to sit on the toilet and just really think about stuff. Warm my butt. And so
Starting point is 00:12:13 then I came out of the bathroom and Vince was like in the door and he was like, where were you? Like, I was like, oh my God, was I gone for four hours? Like one of those things where it was like, where did you go? And I was like, what? and I came out and you were like what happened it was I was scared I was going through that thing where I'm like I mean it might be too early to panic but it would be fun to panic so maybe I should just get my speech ready that I've always had where I go up to the counter and I'm like listen to me my friend was in here 20 seconds ago And like really deliver that I am like the person who's lost a person's speech that I've always wanted to give my whole life. I need your help. Please call your local police authorities.
Starting point is 00:12:55 Something like that. I was a little disappointed when you showed up. Oh. She's back. It's over. In another dimension, in a plane, I didn't show up. That's back. It's over. In another dimension, in a plane, I didn't show up.
Starting point is 00:13:08 That's right. You and Vince came to the show. And then I got taken down to the police station. Can Munchausen by proxy be enough you like also just throw someone out in the middle of the wilderness?
Starting point is 00:13:20 I can't find her. Yes. There's got to be stories like that. I mean, I guess a lot of them are like that. That's this podcast. That's what this podcast is. That's what we do every week. Oh, by the way, this is the My Favorite
Starting point is 00:13:35 Murder podcast. Thanks. This is Thank you This is Georgia Hardstark And that's Karen Kilgara You guys are lucky because Last night at the Detroit show Someone
Starting point is 00:13:57 Brought the mitten murderinos They're called because this is a mitten I guess And this is where Detroit is and shit Which I just think Vince points at random places on his hand when he's telling me about where we are. They brought us little flags, and so the entire show last night was just flag-themed because we couldn't put the fucking flags down.
Starting point is 00:14:16 It was so much fun. I don't know the last time you've waved a tiny triangular flag. Not a rectangular one, not anything about countries or nations or citizenship. Just a little triangle one that's just about something you like. I'm telling you, do it as soon
Starting point is 00:14:34 as you possibly can. I was out of my mind filled with joy. I was just like yeah. But it was only like this big. It was like that big. I'm telling you, during the whole show, we were both...
Starting point is 00:14:52 That was the show. They didn't get a murder. They just died. Dancing with flags. In the middle of the show, as I was reading my very serious and horrifying murder, Georgia goes,
Starting point is 00:15:07 oh my God, red flag, and holds it up because it was the red flag. She had just been like, and he took out a life insurance policy. And I was going to go red flag. It was really exciting for me and no one else. I love those moments when you realize other people are way smarter than you. And you're just like, yes yes i'm seven beats behind i love this i get what you did love it anyway guys apropos of nothing there was a very small canadian kit kat in the dressing room and i just have to commend you. Do you appreciate it though? Do you care as much as I do?
Starting point is 00:15:51 Because if you've ever had an American Kit Kat, they're like having a small flat brown candle. They suck shit compared to what you people are doing up here with the Kit Kat. And I thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Well, they stopped having to worry about healthcare here so they're like, you know what? Let's just make our chocolate really good.
Starting point is 00:16:10 Kick it! Once we get there, you guys, we're going to fucking give you a run for your money in the chocolate department. No, we're not. Never get there. Don't worry. We eat so much chocolate that we have to be hospitalized and it's free. That would be amazing. Oh my god! If we're going to do it,
Starting point is 00:16:25 we might as well do it here. Yeah. Tonight. Tonight. On stage. Right now. Right? Right.
Starting point is 00:16:34 Right. Oh. Steven's here. Oh, Steven's here. Look at him. Look at him. Look at him. Oh, baby.
Starting point is 00:16:50 Look at him. Let the people look at you. Leave to the people. Yeah. Look at him. Drink it in, Stephen. Drink it in. What if I went, oh, we left Steven at the liquor store, though, in the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:17:12 We just left him on the side. Oh, Steven. Hi. Hi. Thanks. Steven. Steven, everyone. Steven, have you ever in your life ever had 3,000 people cheer for you at one time?
Starting point is 00:17:26 Um, I'm... I'm going to pee myself. Yeah. Okay, well, that's Steven in a nutshell, everybody. He doesn't say that much. I've never seen him look that nervous before. I know, it's weird. He acts all shy. I know. I forget how he does before. I know, it's weird. He acts all shy. I know.
Starting point is 00:17:46 I forget how easy this is. He does run out here fast. He was doing the ready to go. Yeah. What's it called? Ready to go? He was down, and then he was up, and then he was off. You know what's funny?
Starting point is 00:17:59 I just realized that Steven was standing here, because we always give him lots of shit when he comes out here, and also when he's not here. It's super fun. He's our whipping boy in every way. He's the person who edits our show. So he knows all the stuff that we demand get, obviously, that gets cut out of the show. And there is a very good chance that he's keeping all of the stuff that we want out. Don't say no, Steven, because I know what you're like.
Starting point is 00:18:24 I've seen that fucking mustache in action because I know what you're like. I've seen that fucking mustache in action. I know what you're like. What if he has like a home computer just for the fucking bullshit? We've been like, oh my God, cut that out because there's so much of it. I'm like, I hate Bulgarians. And he's like, here we fucking go.
Starting point is 00:18:40 I'm going to end you. Gonna need this one day. We know. Oh, man. Oh, I hope so. Yeah. I mean. If we're gonna get ruined by anyone,
Starting point is 00:18:50 or like, you know, it might as well be Steven. It's gotta be that guy. Why not? And then the per cast is here next year. Yeah. This whole stage is filled with cats. People like shit like that. Speaking of cats, my hair tonight is brought to you by Linda Bob's Burgers.
Starting point is 00:19:11 Bob's Burgers. Bob's Burgers, the new season's coming on tomorrow night, everybody. I don't work for them. Just a fan. I don't even know them. I guess we, Is it time? I think it's time. It's time for us to sit down.
Starting point is 00:19:28 Thank you. I think it's hilarious that that actually is like an applause cue for you guys. It's precious. Yeah. Any bit of extra clapping that we can milk out of you we absolutely will definitely oh thank you our lifeblood is renewed but we also realize there are people that get brought to these shows of ours who do not listen to the podcast they're, who the fuck was that millennial? Like, what's going on?
Starting point is 00:20:06 Someone's like, my best friend, like, you know, broke up with me today. Will you please come with me to the show? I don't want to go alone. And they come and they're like, okay, you'll like it. You love comedy.
Starting point is 00:20:15 They're like, I've seen two girls talking before. I don't need that. I don't, I didn't need a pass to go see that shit. So just so you guys know, this is a podcast about murder. Called My Favorite Murder.
Starting point is 00:20:33 It's our favorite ones. But it's also a comedy podcast, which can be a bit dicey. So hold on to your butts, everyone. Yeah. Especially if your butt gets triggered really easily. Just be careful. You got a trigger butt?
Starting point is 00:20:53 Itchy trigger butt. It happens a lot. Oh, yeah. All over this great country. Leading cause of hilarity. Hi, I'm Una Chaplin, and I'm the host of a new podcast called Hollywood Exiles. It tells the story of how my grandfather, Charlie Chaplin, and many others were caught up in a campaign to root out communism in Hollywood.
Starting point is 00:21:17 It's a story of glamour and scandal and political intrigue and a battle for the soul of the nation. a political intrigue, and a battle for the soul of the nation. Hollywood Exiles, from CBC Podcasts and the BBC World Service. Available now on Spotify. This episode is brought to you by Interac. Interac has a range of tools to help your business grow. Quickly and easily identify customers with Interac Verified. Pay your employees via bulk disbursement with Interac eTransfer for Business. Or pay vendors with large sum payments up to $25,000.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Plus, your payments are safe with authentication and transaction encryption. Interac, we geek out on your business. Learn how at interact.ca slash forbusiness. Terms and conditions apply. Do you want to go first? I go first. Okay.
Starting point is 00:22:03 I think I go first. We did two shows last night in Detroit. And I went first, right? Yeah. It's me, right, Steven? We got a thumbs up from Steven. Yeah. If Steven says we go first.
Starting point is 00:22:15 That's his name. Yeah. Steven, one of the 3,000 people yelled your name. So, calm down. She wins this rug. She gets to take this rug home with her tonight oh guys we brought this rug from home just so you know I get a little homesick when we travel so I'd like to have something with me Vince is one possibility but I also like to have my rug you know it's really high maintenance I would love if like the this specific kind of
Starting point is 00:22:46 assholes we're going to turn into if we do a lot of shows like this we're just like is the rug there yeah well then i'm not there how's that a lot of that kind of stuff yeah where's the rug the rug rehearsal was at 5 30 and no one was there. Ring rehearsal. I love that. Wait, I just have to say that these are the most comfortable and reasonably heighted chairs we've ever sat in. Speaking of getting into specifics, we never know what the chair situation is going to be like until we sit down. I was positive my chair was going to break last night.
Starting point is 00:23:26 I didn't want to say it at the theater because I didn't want to insult them in their chairs. But there was this wobbly thing that I was like, this is going to. And it was such that I knew that I felt backwards. Oh. And they were high. Yes, they were very high last night. We should start wearing helmets. Okay, but they have to be black.
Starting point is 00:23:47 They have to be formal helmets. Formal. So, on to the murder part. Oh, right. Oh, shit, girl. Yeah. Did you see it? I did.
Starting point is 00:24:01 Okay, so. This is a heavy hitter. You're a sneaky pea. I can't help it if I have perfect vision. And you're a really good upside down reader. This is a heavy hitter. I'm sorry. No, no, go ahead.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Heavy hitters episode, I think. Heavy hitter, but it's also apology makeup work for the city of Toronto and the country of Canada as a whole. We owe you guys. Guys, long, long ago in 1968, when we started this podcast and I thought it was kind of like, I thought it was what we were talking about it to be when we first conceived of it, which was, hey, you and me all sit in your living room and we'll just like talk about serial killers and murder and true crime and stuff that we're kind of fascinated by casually conversationally and um very quickly relearned that that is absolutely not the way you can talk about true crime because you have to know years and cities and facts and dates and the truth is really important It's a big part of it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:08 And I think it was around like the third episode. I. Thanks. They knew. They were ready to tell you. Because they're pissed. Oh. I did this one and I talked through it as if it happened to my neighbor.
Starting point is 00:25:30 I was so young back then. The whole reason I wanted to do it is because I had one, actually like one person away from, one degree away story that I love to tell all the time. And that's what I was building the whole concept around. But like, I didn't do any research at all. And I remember some girl emailing or tweeting but she was just like that was horrible and then i was like yeah that was horrible you're right and then this whole time i've been saving it to come to toronto to redo it because i felt bad it was quite it was quite an awakening to realize that I just signed up for a podcast where I had to do a fucking book report every week. It's not my jam, as you well know.
Starting point is 00:26:16 But anyway, tonight I'm going to do the case of the schoolgirl killers, the Ken and Barbie killers, Paul Bernardo and Carla Homolka. For visitors, boyfriends, girlfriends, people who have never come before, we're not cheering for the murderers. We're not. It feels like we are. I understand why that would bother a person
Starting point is 00:26:43 and maybe scare them to death. That's not what's happening. At least with me. I shouldn't speak for everybody. All right. I got most of the research from this retelling of the factual story from the A&E series biography that they did on these murders,
Starting point is 00:27:04 which is actually incredibly thorough. And they had on these murders, which is actually incredibly thorough. And they had a Scottish narrator, which I think is bold. Definitely. The Canadian guy was sick that day. The Canadian guy that they had for it. Well, it was YouTube, so it's international, I guess.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Okay. Unless they do only Canadian YouTube here. That's the thing. They don't tell you about Canada. They fucking take over your YouTube. And the internet, like this site can't be seen Canadian. Sorry about that.
Starting point is 00:27:35 Okay. The other chunk of information or bunch of information that I got was I stumbled upon this amazing article on a website called the walrus um yeah it's so good that's a good one so a girl a woman named Stacy Mae Fowles wrote this she is from Scarborough she was 11 years old at the time that the Scarborough rapist was at the height of his reign of terror. And she wrote a beautiful article that I highly recommend you go read called Boy Next Door. It's amazing. I cried at the end.
Starting point is 00:28:16 It was really fucking great. And it made me really happy. And I stole, stole, stole. Okay. Okay, so. Paul Bernardo was born in 1964 in Scar stole, stole. Okay. Okay, so, Paul Bernardo was born 1964 in Scarborough, Ontario. He was the youngest child
Starting point is 00:28:34 to Kenneth and Marilyn Bernardo, an unhappy couple. Isn't that how these always start? I mean, what couple that we know in these stories is happy? Or sober. Yeah. I mean, what couple that we know in these stories is happy? Or sober.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Yeah. His father would later face charges of being a peeping Tom and a pedophile. And he also molested Paul's sister. So bad things were happening from jump for Paul. He also physically, verbally abused his whole family, and he often called his wife bitch and big fat cow. His mother was a depressive. I wonder why.
Starting point is 00:29:18 And she'd often leave the family for the weekend and just go stay with her family. And after a while, in this family, things got so bad that she just went down and lived in the basement. Whoa. Yeah. That's how some people cope. Just you'd go as low as you can just get way down there by the Christmas decorations. So, so dark it's just like um mom is there any milk that's okay i'll do it i'll do it so um although paul bernardo was described as a happy child as a youth he when he joined the Boy Scouts, all the people, the leaders noticed that he really loved starting fires. And that was his Boy Scout jam. Well, aren't they supposed to start fires in the Boy Scouts?
Starting point is 00:30:13 I mean, they're supposed to. I got scared for a minute, but then I was like, wait a minute. But it's like, you get your badge, and then you don't need to start a whole bunch of other fires. Okay, got it, got it, got it. Is the thing. Smart. And then you don't need to start a whole bunch of other fires. Okay.
Starting point is 00:30:23 Got it, got it, got it. Is the thing. Smart. So, 1981, when he was 16, he found out that Kenneth wasn't his biological father, and he lost his shit, obviously. Although, in retrospect, I would feel pretty good about it. Yeah. That's a positive. The peeping Tom is not your dad.
Starting point is 00:30:41 Quit crying. Everything's fine. But, of course, he was 16. This had been his life. It's like he found out his whole life was a lie. So he was furious at his mother. He blamed his mother for the whole thing. Started calling her slut and whore.
Starting point is 00:30:58 And she started calling him bastard all the time. Just fucking good time Sunday to Sunday at Bernardo's house. Come over for dinner. You're going to love it. Okay, so after he graduates from high school, he gets a job with Amway. Are you guys familiar with Amway?
Starting point is 00:31:20 It's like a pyramid scheme. It's weird. They sell a bunch of different shit, but it's like really the point. It's weird. They just send, they sell a bunch of different shit, but it's like really the point is that you get more people that you know to come in and sell this weird like laundry detergent and shit. Um, just a pyramid scheme. It's like Karen, have you noticed how clean my shirt is? I actually did notice that here at lunch. Like be with that one of us. I want my shirt to be that clean. Um, they're really not that clean. Um, but what he really picked up from working there was this, the, the, what they call the, um,
Starting point is 00:31:56 polemic sales culture. Didn't look it up. Not sure what it means, but what I assume it means is pushy, pushy, pushy. Like they don't take no for an answer and they kind of like get you from every direction. They're super manipulative. Or it could mean casual. Who knows? That's the joy of this podcast. It's all question marky. We have to stay true to some of our roots or else it won't be the podcast you listen to. That's right. I had to leave one thing unresearched just so you knew I was still mean. Yeah. I gotta be mean. Okay. He starts using these sales techniques to pick up women. Um, by the time he begins,
Starting point is 00:32:40 yeah, because women love detergent. By the time he starts going to school at the University of Toronto at Scarborough, he is displaying, sure, go raccoons. He's displaying all the signs of being a psychopath. Charming, outgoing, life of the party, but also an incredibly sinister dark side that only a couple people know about. Like, his girlfriends, who keep on breaking up with him, all of his relationship time lengths
Starting point is 00:33:19 just keep getting shorter and shorter because women go out with him and they're just like, sorry, you're not allowed to call me a slut. I have only known you for three days. Okay. We'll see you later. Um, so, uh, he actually threatened to kill, um, a couple of his girlfriends if they ever told how abusive he was to them in their private life. Um, he was fixated on conquering women. He, he was just obsessed with picking them up, having sex with them, and then making them do whatever he wanted.
Starting point is 00:33:49 All right, so that's Paul Bernardo in a nutshell. I'm sure there's tons of other things to say about him. But now, Carla, this is because that obsession that he had, making women do whatever he wanted, that's where Carla Homolka comes into the scene. She was born in 1970 in Port Credit, Ontario. Her father was a traveling salesman and an alcoholic, of course. She had two younger sisters, Lori and Tammy. Carla was also a bright student. Their father was a drunk that would insult the whole family, and then he would go down into the basement.
Starting point is 00:34:30 What the fuck? Isn't that fucking weird? Yeah. What are the chances? Is that a thing here? They're like, yeah, no, everyone's parents said that. It's not it. That's Canada.
Starting point is 00:34:44 That's where all the Kit Kats are. They just don't tell America. Don't tell the U.S. about us. What if it's very healing to go into the basement? It's actually very good for you. They're just like, that's our secret. It's good for your skin. Okay, so.
Starting point is 00:35:04 Also, when Carla's mother found out that her father was having an affair, she told him it was fine and to invite the mistress in for a menage a trois. So there's a lot of bad relationship patterning for both of these people. If I had a tiny red flag, I would check it right here. Here you go.
Starting point is 00:35:26 It would be fun. Okay. So, uh, she was described as a child as being stubborn, um, domineering. Um, she re she was a rebel in high school. She cut herself. She would always claim that she was going to commit suicide to get attention. Um, she graduated in 1988 and she became a full-time veterinary technician. Up until that last part, that was so me. So me. Okay. In May of 1987 in Scarborough, a 21-year-old woman gets off the bus. She's followed by a man who was on the bus as well. And he comes up from behind, assaults her, and she ends up being the first victim of the Scarborough rapist. And over the next 13 months,
Starting point is 00:36:13 these assaults continue and they escalate very quickly. The Scarborough rapist begins raping women orally, vaginally, and anally, cutting them or penetrating them with a knife. He chokes them. He punches them in the face. He stole one victim's ID, noted her home address, and then threatened to kill her family.
Starting point is 00:36:32 He broke another victim's arm. All the victims were attacked from behind, so none of them saw his face, but they all described him as a tall, young man with light hair. While he was attacking them, he made them call themselves degrading names, like slut and whore. So the police call in the FBI immediately to profile this rapist, which is a great move. And they bring in FBI agent Greg McCreary. You have seen this guy on every crime show there is.
Starting point is 00:37:06 He is the guy, he's the FBI agent with the gray hair who looks really tired of crime. Like he's like so fucking sick of people being bad to each other. So like when he's explaining stuff, he's kind of quiet like this, but he's just, he's kind of like man's in humanity to man. That's what he's saying. No matter what he's actually saying, that's just always what he's saying. I love Greg McCreary. Okay. So, um, he does a profile on the rapist. He says this is a sadistic rapist with a high probability of escalation. Um, young in his earlys, local, intelligent, high-functioning, in a dependent
Starting point is 00:37:46 living situation, so probably living with his family. That's so crazy that he was able to determine all... I fucking... Yeah. Yeah. They know all that shit. It's crazy. Fascinating. And then a psychopath, obviously. So in April of 1988, a 19-year-old woman is attacked after getting off the bus. She was actually pulled between two houses and raped and yelled for help and the people in the house has heard her and didn't respond no guys yeah that's not how we that's not how we do it no um so the next month the total number of known scarborough rapist victims had risen to seven um so this is a little this is a little, this is a little bit crazy. Constable Vic Clark told the press, quote, don't expect people to watch out for you if you happen to come back at 1am in the morning
Starting point is 00:38:32 off the bus. Like the police? Right. Like the police. He said, it'd be nice to think that you can go anywhere you like nowadays, but don't put yourself in a vulnerable position. Hold your hate because the same month, Alderman John Mackey proposed a curfew for women. For women. Finally. Get them out the street. We've been waiting. We told what time we're safe. Just the logic there is.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Yeah. You're curfewing the gender that is not raping anybody, okay? No, no, no. Come on. Come on. Come on. In a refreshing turn, the Toronto Transit Commission instituted its request stop program.
Starting point is 00:39:29 Right? Which meant that women who rode the bus at night could tell the bus driver, you can drop me right here in front of my fucking house and you didn't have to wait until the next bus stop so that women could get delivered exactly to where they needed to be. That's what you do.
Starting point is 00:39:45 That's problem solving right there. Moving here immediately. Okay. October 17th, 1987, Carla Homolka is now age 17, and she meets Paul Bernardo, age 23, in a hotel restaurant in Scarborough. Two hours later, they're having sex in her hotel room. Which, no judgment. Hey, look.
Starting point is 00:40:08 Yeah. If it were anybody else, we'd be into it. The friends who were with both of them that day said that the chemistry was palpable, like it was in the air, like it always is when two psychopaths meet and fall in love. So, Stephen, will you put up that first picture
Starting point is 00:40:24 of the happy couple? Barbie and Ken. Look at those warm, welcoming eyes on both of them. They're just... Wouldn't you love to sit in a hotel restaurant and stare across at her satanic, satanic eyes, and then his whatever they're doing eyes and his tiny tiny teeth
Starting point is 00:40:48 with a fake smile surrounding them. He's like this is what humans do when cameras come out. This is it. Happiness. Well Carla's family thinks that Paul Bernardo is great.
Starting point is 00:41:03 They don't mind the age difference.. They don't mind the age difference. Her parents don't mind the age difference. He's smart, good-looking. He's trained to be an accountant. Her sisters think of him as the brother they never had. Soon, he's coming to her. She still lives with her parents. And soon, he's driving to her house, like, a couple times a week.
Starting point is 00:41:23 I think it was an 80-mile drive from Scarborough to St. Catharines, which is where she lived. She brags to her friends about how mature her 23-year-old boyfriend is. Within a year, she's confiding to them
Starting point is 00:41:35 that he has become verbally abusive to her. Oh, fuck. But she always forgives him. December 24th, 1989, they take a trip to Niagara Falls and they get engaged. Did someone applaud?
Starting point is 00:41:48 No. I think someone took their compact out of their purse because they have something in their eye. They're like, I love love and I don't care. She's like one snap. She's just like shit um okay so they plan to marry in spring of 1991 um the family's thrilled in may of 1990 which is six months later the scarborough police release a composite sketch of the scarborough rapist based on all of the victims telling the police sketch artist.
Starting point is 00:42:26 So can we see that composite sketch? Oh, I'm so excited. Oh, creepy. Stephen, I wish you would have cropped that up a little higher. Fucking. Why do we pay you? Oh my God, he left. He ripped off his mustache and left.
Starting point is 00:42:41 Oh my god, he left. He ripped off his mustache and left. He looks like a fucking Nazi youth. He looks like he's in the style council. He looks... Can I add another one? Yeah. He looks like when you walk by a cheap hair salon and they have photos in the windows of what people...
Starting point is 00:43:04 Yeah. This is the... call this girl. What a rapist. I hate to say it out loud, but I love this girl. What a rapist look. Is it wrong? I think the sweep over would look great on my giant forehead. Okay.
Starting point is 00:43:22 Well, here's what's crazy is Paul Bernardo's friends and his coworkers see this and they're like, ring, ring, ring 911 or whatever it is in Canada. Hello. Get me the fucking police right now. A ton of people that he worked with and that were friends with him called the police and were like, that's Paul Bernardo. And can we do the side-by-side comparison? Yeah. Oh, shit. I don't see it. No, I'm just kidding. Fuck, man. Okay.
Starting point is 00:43:52 So the police bring him in for an interview. He's polite, he's charming, and he's calm, like any good psychopath would be. He volunteers his DNA. What? It can't be you. They collect hair, blood, and saliva samples that are sent to the lab, where they will sit for two years.
Starting point is 00:44:08 I don't like that. It's 1990. Okay. So then he moves in with Carla and her parents in St. Catharines. And suddenly, the Scarborough rapes stop. That's crazy. He tells Carla that... So this is where it gets, I mean, we knew this was going
Starting point is 00:44:29 to happen, but this is so fucked. So he tells Carla that she can't give him the one thing he really wants, which is her virginity, because she already gave that away. So she can still give it to him just through the person closest to her, her 15 year old sister, Tammy and Carla agrees. So on December 23rd, uh, after the whole rest of the family goes to bed, Paul and Carla invite Tammy to stay up with them after the, um, and Carla has crushed sleeping pills and animal tranquilizers, um, that she stole from her job. Oh my God. As a vet. Yeah. It's so dark. Yeah. Um, into her drink, she loses consciousness. Um, Carla puts a rag soaked with the drug, how halothene over her face. Paul rapes her. When Paul's done, he tells Carla he wants
Starting point is 00:45:26 her to rape her. She does. All of it is on videotape. So, in the middle of that, Tammy begins to vomit and then choke on her own vomit. And Paul
Starting point is 00:45:42 and Carla rush, put her clothes back on her and then call an ambulance. In the early hours of December 24th, 1990, Tammy Homolka is pronounced dead. And aside from the mysterious burn marks on her face, which Carla and Paul say must have been rug burns,
Starting point is 00:45:58 her death is ruled an accident. A month later, Paul and Carla move out of her parents' house in St. Catharines. They move into a two-story house in Port DeLucie. I did it right? Good job. Thank you. Because I spelled it, it looks like DeLuise kind of a little bit. You just went for it? That could have, I really did. I'm proud of you. Thank you so much. It was really fucking scary. No, it's terrifying. There's so many people here right now.
Starting point is 00:46:27 Like, you guys made us share, not you guys, but this podcast has made us scared of saying places in this world. We never say it right, ever. I mean, I guess it's not your fault, it's our fault, but... Still, it's your fault. Okay, when they're in their own house, he starts physically abusing Carla. And then when she threatens to leave him, he reminds her he has a videotape of her killing her own sister.
Starting point is 00:46:52 And so she has to stay. June 15th, 1991, Paul wakes Carla up in the middle of the night to tell her he has a surprise. He has kidnapped 14-year-old Leslie Mahaffey out of her own backyard. So this is super fucked. Leslie had gone out for the day. I think I read something where it said that she was at a friend's funeral and then she stayed out past her curfew. So she probably like, if her friend died, she got drunk with her friends or something. And when she got home, it was past her curfew. Her parents locked her out of the house. So she went into the backyard,
Starting point is 00:47:25 and that's when Paul Bernardo saw her, and he lured her into his car with a cigarette, offering her a cigarette. She was like, sure. And then he ends up kidnapping her and taking her to the house. Paul and Carla videotaped themselves raping and torturing Leslie for 24 hours, then strangle her, cut up her body,
Starting point is 00:47:44 encase it in cement, and dump it in Lake Gibson. Two weeks later, on June 29th, 1991, two fishermen spot some strange blocks in the lake as they're fishing. When they look closer, they see the human flesh is sticking out of the cement. It's the body of Leslie Mahaffey. On the same day that her body is found, it's the body of Leslie Mahaffey. On the same day that her body is found, Paul Bernardo and Carla Homolka get married in a Catholic church in Niagara-on-the-Lake in front of 100 friends and family members.
Starting point is 00:48:14 What in the fuck? In the special that I was watching, when it switched from that to the video of their fucking fucked-up early 90s wedding, the version of chills I got were like, this is insanity. These are people who are completely cut off from any reality of what they're doing.
Starting point is 00:48:33 It was, it's horrifying. And the hair and the dress was so ugly. I'm sure that was part of it, but, okay. Now Paul starts telling carla that he wants her to invite tammy's friends over to the house so that he can do the same thing to tammy's friends and she does so they start drugging these girls that were friends with her sister and a lot of these girls had no memory of anything happening. They only found out after the videotapes were found. And then they were informed that that had happened to them. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:49:13 Yeah, couldn't be darker. Okay, on April 16th, 1992, Paul and Carla are driving around looking for a new victim. They're just full-on fucking predators. They see a 15-year-old girl named Kristen French who's walking home from school. They pull into a church parking lot.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Carla gets out holding a map, and then when Kristen walks by, she waves her like, sorry, I need to know directions, and they pull her into the car and kidnap her. But this time there's witnesses. So people saw, people actually saw Kristen get taken. But when they reported to the police, multiple people say that it was a beige Camaro.
Starting point is 00:49:54 So immediately the police realized a girl's been kidnapped. A girl's body has just been found. We've got something serious happening. They start, um, they put together what they called the green ribbon task force dedicated to figuring out what the fuck is going on. And the green river task force puts up this billboard immediately. Have you seen this car wanted in the abduction of Kristen French? And there's the, the, uh, green ribbon hotline. The only problem was that Paul Bernardo drove a gold Nissan. He did not drive a beige Camaro. So it was a huge mislead.
Starting point is 00:50:32 On April 30th, 1992, Kristen's body is found in a ditch in Burlington. She's clearly been tortured. Her hair has been cut off. Then the violence within the marriage begins to escalate. On January 5th, 1993, Carla goes to the emergency room. Paul's beating her with a flashlight. She has two black
Starting point is 00:50:54 eyes that go from like here to here and they're dark purple. She has broken ribs, extreme bruising. Before she leaves the house to go to the emergency room, she tries to go find the videotapes and she can't find them anywhere. 20 days later, January 25th, 1993, the DNA samples come back that Bernardo had given to the Scarborough police and they match the DNA of the Scarborough rapist. So the Toronto police bring Carla in to talk to her because they know you talk to the wife, you know, like basically they have to break the news to her and then try to get information.
Starting point is 00:51:33 And it's our boy, FBI agent, Greg McCreary, who leads the interview. Well, the Grieberman task force was there too and they did the interview and they knew everything that was going on. They knew. So they didn't accuse her of anything. They were more talking to her like they were being understanding and just basically trying to get information out of her. So basically, once she talks to the police, she kind of knows that they're closing in on them.
Starting point is 00:52:01 So she goes to an uncle, and she confesses everything. She tells the uncle everything that they've done. And the uncle says, you have to get a lawyer right now. So, um, she tells the lawyer, you have to get me full immunity, um, for my, uh, I'll testify against my husband, but you have to give me immunity. Um, uh, so then she ends up making a full confession saying that Paul is the Scarborough rapist, that he's responsible for the murders of Kristen French, Leslie Mahaffey, and her sister Tammy, and that she was forced to participate in all of it against her will. And then she says all the proof that they need is in their house on those videotapes
Starting point is 00:52:38 if they just find them. So, uh, on February 19th, 1993, a search warrant is executed in Bernardo home. It's a 71-day search. What the fuck? Yeah. They just kept looking because they couldn't fucking find these videotapes anywhere. And they ended up not being able to find them in the house. So, without evidence, without that kind of evidence, they only have Carla's testimony.
Starting point is 00:53:06 So they have to plea bargain with her because they need her testimony. So she agrees to testify against him in exchange for a reduced sentence. The whole deal was kept secret from the public to ensure a fair trial for Paul Bernardo. Um, so reporters were allowed in the courtroom the day of her sentencing, but they were only allowed, it was a, it was a publicity ban. They were called, they called it and they were only allowed to report on what the charges were and what the sentence was. They weren't allowed to report on anything else that happened. So of course this made all the press go crazy of like, how bad is this? This must be the worst thing ever because they never do stuff like this. So in July of 1993, Carla Homolka pleads guilty to two counts of manslaughter,
Starting point is 00:53:54 and she receives two 12-year sentences to be served concurrently. That was her deal. She's sent to Kingston Prison, and then soon after, she files for divorce. Um, she sent to Kingston prison and then soon after she files for divorce, uh, September, right? Yeah. Like at this point, don't worry about it. Cut bait, baby. Yeah. Get out. Her lawyer's like, I'm not also doing that. Yeah. You can't pay me enough. She's like, Hey, every psychopath for themselves. I don't have a conscience, so I don't care about you, my husband. Okay, so in September 1994, Paul Bernardo's lawyer quits. He's not going to represent him anymore.
Starting point is 00:54:36 That's how bad it was. Well, it turns out that the reason that the cops couldn't find those videotapes inside their house is because Paul Bernardo's lawyer had gone into the house and taken them out. No. Yeah, they were hidden up in, just for future use, if you're ever looking for anything or need to hide anything, they were upstairs in a bathroom ceiling light fixture,
Starting point is 00:54:58 like, hidden up above. What a dick. Yeah. The lawyer. Dick lawyer, but then when he quit, he gave the tapes to the next lawyer who was representing Paul Bernardo, and that guy's like,
Starting point is 00:55:10 yeah, I'm going to go ahead and give these to the cops. The law. I mean, right? Yeah. Let me just say this, though. Not right away. Really? Like two weeks later.
Starting point is 00:55:24 Oh, like thought about it. I mean, I don't know. Slept on it. I mean... like two weeks later oh like thought about it i i mean i don't know i slept on it i mean for two weeks he thought about it and then he was like oh i don't want to be the devil like the rest of these people um okay so uh may 18th 1995 paul bernardo's trial begins oh sorry so once the police have the tapes they have to look at them they see what's on them and they realize that her story of paul being fully responsible for everything is a total fucking lie and that she was happily participating in all of it in as coldly and horribly as he was and that yes she was clearly an abused wife but still on the videotape didn't seem to be having a problem with any of it. And they then realized that they called it the deal with the devil, where they had just basically given her the easiest way out and she was just as guilty as he was.
Starting point is 00:56:17 Wow. According to the videotape, which, you know, is pretty objective. Okay. So May 18th, 1995, bernardo's trial begins the defense claims that carla was the one who turned paul into a murderer he was just a plain rapist before but she she fucking yoko ono that shit she got in there and she fucked it up and she should have a curfew. But then Carla gives her testimony. And then on September 1st, 1995, the jury deliberates for eight hours and then finds Paul Bernardo guilty of all nine charges against him,
Starting point is 00:56:58 including two counts of first-degree murder. Yeah. He's sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole fordegree murder. Yeah. He's sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole for 25 years. No, that's not long enough. 1995. No.
Starting point is 00:57:13 Do a little math. I can't. Okay. But soon. Okay. He was also, a couple months later, declared a dangerous offender,
Starting point is 00:57:22 which meant that he would likely spend the rest of his life in jail. Don't clap so fast. In 2001, an Ontario court ordered that all evidence from the Paul Bernardo, Carla Homolka cases be destroyed. So Leslie Mahaffey and Kristen French's parents and a bunch of the officers and the detectives that worked on the case went down and witnessed all of the pictures and all of the videotape and all of the evidence from the entire case, watched it all get destroyed. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:56 Which makes me very happy. In 2005, 35-year-old Carla Homolka was released from prison after serving a 12-year sentence. What the fuck? Don't, it feels like you're booing us. She moved to Montreal. She changed her name to Leanne Teal. Oh, we know who she is? Leanne Teal.
Starting point is 00:58:19 That's what I would have changed my name to if I had to move away. Sure. Because teal's a great color and Leanne is a name no one uses anymore. She got married, and in 2007, she had a baby. No, no, no. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:58:34 It was recently discovered that she was volunteering at her child's school. And in June, that school just released a statement, not naming any names, but saying that they do not allow anyone with a criminal record on their property. So she no longer volunteers for her child's school. Oh, do we have that? Steven, do you have that picture of this is modern day? Oh, shit. I wonder at the school. Did everyone recognize her and know who she was?
Starting point is 00:59:04 I think there's people out there that are like, excuse recognize her and know who she was I think there's people out there that are like excuse me I know who she is like I don't there's she couldn't move back to her hometown which is what she was going to do when she first got out of jail so she had to move to Montreal what a monster I mean not that I'm sure it's great I love French people but yeah had to move to Montreal she She had to, uh, FBI profiler, Greg McCreary believes Carla Homolka may have been more psychopathic than Paul Bernardo. Um,
Starting point is 00:59:32 being that she was able to live with the murder of her own sister, just the, I mean, you can't compare psychopathy, I don't think, but, um, I liked the idea that he was like,
Starting point is 00:59:44 you know, something to think about. And the whole time I was, it's that thing where don't think, but, um, I liked the idea that he was like, you know, something to think about. And the whole time I was, it's that thing where you're like, well, when battered women aren't that, you know, you have battered spouse syndrome, you're in that situation. What would you do? Or what would you be forced to do or what, whatever. Then I read this, this piece of information that I thought was pretty bone chilling. When Carla Homolka was questioned and fingerprinted by the police, they noticed that she was wearing a Mickey Mouse watch
Starting point is 01:00:08 that looked a lot like the one Kristen French was wearing when she disappeared. Just in case you had any, you had worries about Carla that she was being persecuted. I don't think if you were in that situation that you'd just be like,
Starting point is 01:00:24 oh, a trophy. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Fuck, fuck. My hands hurt because I'm gripping this microphone so tightly because I'm like, oh my God. Sorry, it's almost over. No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:00:35 I'm saying it in a good way. That's not a bad thing. In 2017, Paul Bernardo, that's this year. So he has served 22 years of his sentence already, which means that they're now starting to discuss parole issues. Despite being declared a dangerous offender, he is in 2018, or no, this year he's eligible for day parole, which means you get to leave jail and then come back in the evening. No, that's not how prison works.
Starting point is 01:01:09 Well. Everyone. The hearing was supposed to be in August, and they pushed it to October. And it's happening on the stage right now. Ladies and gentlemen. Let's all get up on stage and murder him. We just,
Starting point is 01:01:29 we cause a fucking Canadian riot like you wouldn't believe. That would be the most badass move of all time. Yeah. We made a ton of Canadians
Starting point is 01:01:38 kill people with guns. You wouldn't have, you wouldn't have believed it. Look under your seats, you guys. Guns. We brought them in. Everybody gets a gun tonight.
Starting point is 01:01:52 Paul Bernardo's hearing will likely take place at the Millhaven Institute in Bath, which is near Kingston, which is where he has been serving his life sentence. He is eligible for full parole in 2018. So we'll see how it goes. You guys, don't do it. Please don't do it. Who here is deciding? Okay, so I just want to read you the final paragraph of Stacey May Fowle's article, because I loved it so much. It's this, quote, I came across a story that ran in the Star, published soon after the trial concluded, which argued that Bernardo was not the monster we wanted to believe him to be,
Starting point is 01:02:30 but rather one of us, a product of our culture, a man groomed with a pervasive violent hatred of women. Mary Lou McFadren, a women's rights advocate, spoke of the insidious impact Bernardo had on our community, that he had created an ambient trauma even for those who had not been directly victimized by him. It is a wound that will probably never heal. The Bernardo case has been played out as a titillating drama, she said, and we fail to understand what it's done to us. Wow. That's it.
Starting point is 01:03:13 unto us. Wow. That's it. So fucked up. Really terrible. You made up for episode three, I think. I can't say sorry any more than what I just did. That's all I can do. Let's, um... No, that's it. Let's go back to episode three. Stephen, take this note, take out Karen's story and put this in just out of the blue. Wait, can I retell the whole reason I told that story in the first place? That story of my friends? Oh yeah. I don't remember.
Starting point is 01:03:36 Is this like this one last thing? Ooh, no. I'm so cold and dry. Um, yeah, no, I forgot.
Starting point is 01:03:44 Cause I don't fast. Okay. My friend. So Paul Greenberg, who was on a sketch show called The Vacant Lot. You should know him and love him. He is from here. Hilarious man. Now he lives in Los Angeles. You might hate him because of that.
Starting point is 01:03:57 Anyhow, he's the one that told me the story. His mother was an artist, and she lived in a high-rise apartment building that had a pool on the roof. And she lived in Scarborough at the time that all these things were going on, in the beginning of it, not the couple's schoolgirl killer time in the Scarborough Rapist time. She goes up to swim one day. It's daytime. There's nobody up there, and she's doing laps.
Starting point is 01:04:21 I believe at the time she was in her late 60s or early 70s. She's doing laps in the pool and a young man comes out onto the roof as well. She doesn't really pay attention. She's just doing her laps. And then she finally looks up and realizes he's just standing at the end of the pool, staring at her. And as she's doing her laps, it's like he's just standing over her, watching her swim. And she is super freaked out by it and really scared. And it's like he's just standing over her watching her swim and she is super freaked out by it and really scared and It's getting to the point. He starts walking along the side of the pool as she swims uh-huh, and so she's shitting and
Starting point is 01:04:59 It's not the way she would tell the story. I'm sure It's not the way she would tell the story, I'm sure. Until the fucking roof door bursts open and like three families with kids run out and she's like, whoo, I'm out of here. Okay, so she goes right back down to her apartment and sketches his face. She's like, uh-uh.
Starting point is 01:05:16 Well, when that Scarborough rapist picture came out, she went and pulled the sketch out and showed Paul and she's like, that's the man that was on the roof and it was the exact same guy oh my god yeah chills I know I love a first-hander I'm sorry I love a first-hander absolutely it's the best great job thank you that's okay too. There's too much clapping. It's too much clapping. It went from us needing it and loving it and making up for a lot of love we lost as children to just being a little too much.
Starting point is 01:05:56 The clapping. To ruining our own clapping. This is the story of the murder of Lynn Harper and this case of Stephen Truscott. Truscott. Truscott. Truscott. Thank you. Sorry. I'm nerd.
Starting point is 01:06:16 Okay. What is it? Truscott. Truscott. Truscott. The podcast I listen to. Thank you, guys. All right.
Starting point is 01:06:26 So on the evening, June 9th, 1959, small town of Clinton. Represent. Represent Clinton always. Yeah. We love Clinton. We love it. Located near Lake Huron, about 200 kilometers. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 01:06:42 Huron, about 200 kilometers. How far is that? I fucking don't know. No idea. It's 200 kilometers. West of Toronto, the parents of 12-year-old Cheryl Lynn, so we're going to call her Lynn Harper, began to worry when their daughter didn't come home after her Girl Guides meeting.
Starting point is 01:07:05 Around 11.20 that night, her father, who's an officer on the Clinton base, reported her missing. It's like a base town. Earlier that evening, around 7 p.m., Stephen Truscott, fuck. Stephen is Lynn's 14-year-old classmate. He'd given Lynn a ride home on the handlebars of his bicycle, not home. Sorry. He'd given Lynn a ride on the handlebars of his bicycle. Uh, and he's questioned by police because he was the last person to see her alive. And he said he took her to the intersection of the country of country road and highway eight. He, he left her there there she started to bike he started to bike away stopped on a bridge turned around and saw her get into a gray 1959 chevrolet
Starting point is 01:07:53 with an out of province license plate i know sorry sorry i know kilometers um and that there was a lot of chrome on the car so he sees her leaving I know. Kilometers. And that there was a lot of chrome on the car. So he sees her leaving in this car and getting into it. He bikes on. And two days later, on the afternoon of June 11th, searchers discover Lynn's body, a few tree branches partially covering her remains,
Starting point is 01:08:27 and it's in a nearby farm woodlot just off a tractor trail. It's a lightly wooded area known as Lawson's Bush on the outskirts of Clinton. It's just a little, you know, tree foresty area. Lynn had been raped and strangled with her own blouse. So Stephen becomes the immediate and only suspect. The 14-year-old? Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 01:08:47 Because he was the last person to see her. He said he had dropped her off, and the parents said that she's not someone who would normally hitchhike, so they didn't believe him. And within two days of an investigation, on June 12, 1959, Stephen's taken into custody, and after about 10 hours of investigation, at 2.30 in the morning, Stephen's charged with the first-degree murder of Lynn Harper. Wow.
Starting point is 01:09:11 14-year-old Stephen. It's then decided that Stephen should stand trial as an adult, which means he could potentially be sentenced to either life in prison or execution. The prosecution case is based on the fact that, because Lynn wouldn't hitchhike, they alleged that Stephen never even made it to drop her off, and in fact, just had turned off into Lawson's Bush, sexually assaulted her before killing her. So a fucking, there's a ton of witnesses saying the whereabouts, what they saw, when they saw them, that are children. It's like 11-year-old schoolmates, 14-year-old kids, and so both
Starting point is 01:09:53 sides, the prosecution and the defense, call these witnesses to say what they saw. So, of course, on the prosecution side, they're saying that the kid who was walking home down the exact road never saw them ride their bike past, that kids who were hanging out at the bridge never saw them or saw Stephen alone. And so one girl, little girl, claimed that she was supposed to meet, herself meet him in the bush at the time that Lynn was allegedly killed. So he was supposed to be there anyways and probably was there is what she said. Now, did they do any kind of questioning of these children where they said, are any of you liars? Are any of your pants currently on fire? Because that sounds like that grammar school bullshit where you're like, when you play
Starting point is 01:10:45 telephone, it always ends up Dolly Parton. We're just like, that's not what I said. Well, it's just so crazy because there's this really great documentary about it that I'll get to, but they talk to some of the kids and it's just like, remember this shit? These little kids are like, you know, before she was found, they're like, I saw Lynn and this was what happened. Or I saw Steven. And you get really excited and you want to be part of it. Yes. Because you're 12. And it's, you know, before she was found, they're like, I saw Lynn and this was what happened. Or I saw Steven and you get really excited and you want to be part of it because you're 12 and it's, you know, or 47, either way, it's fun to be part of things or say like, you know, um, just get excited and spread rumors. Then the police come and talk to you and say,
Starting point is 01:11:21 we heard you said this and they can't be like, no, I lied and made that up. You just go with it. You go with it. Little kids then also believe themselves these, you know, they convince themselves that this is what they saw. And they know they'll get in trouble if they are lying. Oh, for sure. And then it just, you're like, well, the solution to that is lie more. Right.
Starting point is 01:11:38 That's always the thing. My spanks have rolled down to about... Let's see. Like, they've done it in a way that's now making me look worse. You know what I mean? Yep. It's like... It's just pushing my gut up here and over the top
Starting point is 01:11:54 of the Spanx in a way that... Did you know that's the new look? That's a hot look in Milan right now. Yes. Can I ask you? This might be the problem. It might be user error because I'm always like, well, if we're buying Spanx. I should buy them in a size too small because then they'll do what they're supposed to do. Girl. That's not what you're supposed to do. Okay. Well then it's user error. Apologies to Spanx. You guys are doing a great job.
Starting point is 01:12:18 The best way to do it is you get the Spanx that come, they're turtleneck Spanx. They just come right up here. God damn. They work so good. This is what I get for buying Spanx in a Spanx that come, they're turtleneck Spanx. They just come right up here. God damn, they work so good. This is what I get for buying Spanx in a Spanx airport store. Literally. It's like, you know, you used to roll your socks down as a kid. Yeah. That's what's happening to my Spanx. Well, up until this point though, you were really holding your face together. Well, I feel like you were like really your core was engaged and you were just like trying to make it work. Thank you. Yeah. Okay. I was there. But still, I also like to know the personal stuff. Yeah. I'm not going to lie about my gut situation. I mean,
Starting point is 01:12:55 you can't, I can't, I want to lie about my gut situation every day. And I just, myself, it's just how it is, you know? Also, I mean, if we're going to be honest, part of my little half sock that I'm wearing in these is just rolled down and it's now almost all the way to my toes. Do your socks match? Yeah. Oh, shit. Look. That's the most uncomfortable. Both of us need a minute to fix our situations.
Starting point is 01:13:24 Jesus. Also, I'm covered in lint. I know. Listen, someone, I brought this rug from home, as I said. Can you close the curtain? It's not working out anymore. You humiliated so many people. And that's where the humor comes in of this podcast. Or does it? it how you doing listen i leave oh fuck i walk out through the house god damn it okay with your microphone yes swearing into the microphone the whole time okay so part of okay so part of their big theory the prosecutions and really what seems to have turned the case and made it the strongest was, okay so the theory was that Stephen never dropped Lynn off as he claimed
Starting point is 01:14:15 and actually between 7 and 7.45 is when he killed her. So this time frame is super important because pathologist John Penniston Sure. Spelled spelled So this time frame is super important because pathologist John Penniston. Sure. Smelled, spelled, smelled, spelled penis tan.
Starting point is 01:14:32 Oh, okay. Why don't you just pronounce it that way then? It's fun. I mean, listen. Look. I can't. I haven't grown up. Also, it's.
Starting point is 01:14:45 What? Say it. Do it. Go. All right. I don't want to go down the long slide of penis tan jokes. I just feel like... How many are there? I've got about 47 in the chamber right now.
Starting point is 01:15:00 I'm not familiar. No, no. So he, pathologist John Penniston, conducted the autopsy of Lynn. He testifies that, so he does the thing where he figures out what she's eaten by knowing when, how much food has been digested when she died. So he said between 7.15 and 7.45, because of the food that she had eaten, digested when she died. So he said between 7.15 and 7.45, because of the food that she had eaten,
Starting point is 01:15:28 that's when she died. That's his exact time, which even by today's standards is fucking insane. You can't do that. You can't figure that out? You mean that exactly? Absolutely not. Okay.
Starting point is 01:15:40 It's kind of one of those bunk science things now, like blood spatter and all this. It feels like everything's bunk now. I know. They're taking it all away from us. What happened to my fibers? God, I love when they find a fiber and then they're like, this cat hair fiber matches this cat hair fiber. Cat hair fibers. I can lock them up. The fiber, the red fibers. The fucking green carpet in his apartment. Okay. They also had shoe prints near the body, and they say they seemed to match Stephen's,
Starting point is 01:16:14 but they hadn't taken any measurements or plaster casts of it. Hey, why bother? Just execute the 14-year-old and get on with it. Jesus Christ. Fuck. That's going to be our tagline. Just execute. The shirts just get worse and worse
Starting point is 01:16:33 with these two. I can't wear that to Thanksgiving. Then the tattoos start happening. Fuck. This is our job I know it's crazy so good I used to eat cupcakes for a living on TV
Starting point is 01:16:54 and now this it's pretty fucking awesome okay the thing is we don't even do it right well who said I ate cupcakes right? Were you one of those ones that you bit and spit immediately? No, I ate the whole thing with the wrapper on it. Is that right?
Starting point is 01:17:15 Wrapper's edible. Like a goat? You just keep chewing? Spit. Oh, sorry. Okay. Professionals. Professionals. Professionals.
Starting point is 01:17:29 As for the defense, they had their own child witnesses, of course. Did you know, sorry, I just heard about this recently. Did you know at the end of World War II, Hitler had a child army that was fighting people? No. Did I dream that? No, I think because so many of the men
Starting point is 01:17:54 of age were dead and they had lost so many lives, they were sending out, you know, like the Hitler youth where they were really into exercising in the 30s. And they were just like, put on a coat and grab a gun, now you're going out there. Pretty sure. Watch the History Channel.
Starting point is 01:18:08 It's not my area. Okay, sorry. Go ahead. I just love the phrase child witness. Like, I'm already like, no, I don't need that. I don't need that witness. And then I was at the bridge and... Get out of here.
Starting point is 01:18:31 So these child witnesses said that they had been on or near the bridge and actually had seen Stephen on the bridge. And at first, the prosecution was like, no way you could have seen him from that far away. And then they went and were like, oh, I see how you could have seen him from that far away. Now it all makes perfect sense. It all makes perfect sense. Yet still we might execute you. Yeah. Don't worry about it. Yeah. And so that all checked out. Witnesses also noted that Stephen, who met his friends by eight
Starting point is 01:18:59 o'clock, seemed totally normal when they saw him. And no one had seen Stephen entering or leaving the wooded area where Lynn was killed. Okay, so despite all of this, on September 30th, 1959, after a trial that lasted 15 days, the jury found Stephen guilty. What? At that time...
Starting point is 01:19:19 And you know how they announced it? How? It was like, my mother What if there was a child judge? And you know how they announced it? How? It was like, my mother, yes. What if there was a child judge? It's like fucking Bugsy Malone from the 80s. It's just children. Oh my God. Sorry.
Starting point is 01:19:39 Never be. I mean. I start now. I mean us, not you. Karen. Okay. So the criminal code required that a death sentence be imposed for murder. So the trial judge, imagine being 14, the judge says to you, you're going to die by hanging.
Starting point is 01:20:01 What? Death by hanging. He appealed his conviction, unanimously dismissed the appeal. So then they commute it to just life in prison. So Stephen spends a decade in prison, and then he's paroled on October 21, 1969 at age 24. So he gets out. And immediately gets drafted into Vietnam. Sorry.
Starting point is 01:20:29 That would be a bummer. Sorry. I'm just running bad scenarios in my head at all times. Sorry. I mean, that's so fucked. It's his whole life. You go to jail when you're 14 and you get out when you're 24. I know.
Starting point is 01:20:44 But then Lynn died at 12 it's so hard and what if he okay okay and i don't know i know none of us know and every i think that all of canada is like it's like half and half who believes what happened that he did it or he didn't do it right guys we're gonna take a poll yeah yeah you have a little piece of paper under your chair yes or no next to the gun all we want to know is yes or no. Don't mistake the two. Yes, please. Whatever you do. I know you guys aren't familiar with guns. They're not
Starting point is 01:21:12 pens. So Stephen goes, limps under an assumed name, shuns all publicity for three decades. He marries, has three children. Then in a 2000 episode of The Fifth Estate, which is a really
Starting point is 01:21:30 fucking good show, I somehow knew that you guys would love it because every article I read about this was like, The Fifth Estate, The Fifth Estate,
Starting point is 01:21:37 and it was fucking good. It's a Canadian show? Yeah. And so he finally breaks his silence and he's on the whole show, like married, telling everyone what happened,
Starting point is 01:21:46 telling the stuff, and all these, like, the kid witnesses are interviewed as adult witnesses. They're still kids. It's all Benjamin Button situation. Or there's one of the adults, you're like, um, and then I saw a little Steven. They're like a 49-year-old man.
Starting point is 01:22:05 Jerry, focus, please. You have to look into the camera. We've told you seven times. Stop eating Pez. Do you have candy? Okay. So, Fifth Estate's investigation highlights serious problems with the forensic evidence
Starting point is 01:22:19 and showed that police were too hasty in laying charges in two days. In two days? Yeah. So, by 2006, around this time, the scientists are like, wait a minute. We don't know, even now we don't know when food breaks down in the stomach
Starting point is 01:22:36 because it's based on so many things, age, gender, diet, stress level, all these things. So one of the forensic dudes was like, really all we can tell is what they ate. That's all we use this for at this point. So they don't even use it. And then it can be... So Mr. Penis Tan.
Starting point is 01:23:00 What? What? All of that and you landed at penis tan well that's where everyone wants to land really it's kind of sounds like it's the dirty country next to afghanistan or it's like when you're a kid and you make fun of where people are from because you're a horrible person and an unreliable witness you're like you're from penis tan right yeah or kids mean to everyone? Yes. In Canada, are they doing that?
Starting point is 01:23:26 No, all the children are lovely here. Okay. So, years later, in like the 60s, penis tans,
Starting point is 01:23:33 tells, says, yeah, I was probably wrong about that. It could have been as much as two hours later when she actually died.
Starting point is 01:23:39 Dude. I know. Get it together. And then, other, so then, these days, they examine the original evidence and conclude that Lynn may have died as late as 24 hours after being with Steven. So it's a big
Starting point is 01:23:52 window. We don't use that science anymore. Um, so, and originally, I don't want to keep saying penis thing cause I know it's an old joke at this point. You're, you're forced. I mean, in this, so Dr. Penniston originally offered two different times. Originally he was like, could have been this time, could have been that time
Starting point is 01:24:10 and then it wasn't until they figured out when Stephen would have killed her that he settled on that time frame too. And it seems like he was like,
Starting point is 01:24:19 had a change of heart at some point about not being a horrible person and came back on that. It sounds like he's just as suggestible as those child witnesses he was a child forensic pathologist shit they should not let eight-year-olds be forensic pathologists anymore never again
Starting point is 01:24:36 doogie howser don't ruined it no okay after um so Trescott's always, um, maintained his innocence. He, okay, in prison, he voluntarily submits to doing prison psychiatric probes, including truth serum and LSD. Wow. Which I'm like, I'll do that too. I mean, if you're in prison, hell yes. But he was so adamant. I mean, think of it. This is not a time when people were stoked about doing drugs well as far as he knew the 60s right
Starting point is 01:25:08 not mystery drugs right yeah but he was like they were like you know if we give this to you and you actually did stuff
Starting point is 01:25:14 I don't know if you guys have had an acid before but you're gonna fucking talk about it and you're gonna laugh about it yeah and you're a monster and it won't end
Starting point is 01:25:22 for like 12 hours it's so irritating yeah and you're in prison and you're in prison. And it won't end for like 12 hours. It's so irritating. Yeah. And you're in prison? And you're in prison on acid. What a bummer. The last time, look, don't do acid.
Starting point is 01:25:32 It's so lame. But the last time I did it, it's long ago. I was laying in bed and I couldn't sleep. All my friends were asleep. All the fun had ended hours before, and I was laying in bed looking at spinning goofy faces. How fucking hacky is that?
Starting point is 01:25:50 Like goofy Mickey Mouse? Yes. The dog. Oh, what a bummer. Yes. You're like, can I at least see something cool? Just spinning,
Starting point is 01:25:56 and I was like, my arms crossed, like, I'm so lame. I love that you're even, you're a critic of your own fucking visions. Yes, drip. Lame. Stupid.
Starting point is 01:26:07 Stupid. This is too commercial. Where's the local art? I can spit in front of you. Oh, my God. Basically, he's like, I don't fucking do it. Give me any drug you want. Give me all the acid and I won't fucking.
Starting point is 01:26:27 Does sodium pentothal really work? That's the truth serum, right? It does on me. Let's find out right now. I'm going to take it and it's. It's acid. It's oops. It's acid.
Starting point is 01:26:38 Oh, I skipped the book. Okay. Blah, blah, blah. Okay. Da, da, da, da, da. Sorry. I already said da, da, da da da da da sorry I already said da da da da da
Starting point is 01:26:46 so Association in defense of the wrongly convicted they worked to get federal justice ministers minister to reopen the case
Starting point is 01:26:54 and on August 28th 2007 48 years after the original trial the Ontario Court of Appeal unanimously
Starting point is 01:27:02 overturns Stephen's conviction declaring the case a miscarriage of justice. Half the crowd is applauding. Half the crowd is not applauding. Yep. Loudly.
Starting point is 01:27:13 I have a really great ear for how many people are applauding at once, and I can tell it's 1,500. Was it 15? Not 1503? Nope. Oh, but it was actually 14, like, because that couple got in a fight. Yeah. They never made it. They couldn't make it there. He was like, murder isn't funny. She's like, you don't get it. They also talk about cats.
Starting point is 01:27:41 Okay. Miscarriage of justice. And okay. This is a really big point of contention for the people who, uh, the other 1498 people, another couple got in a fight too, uh, on your side. He, Stevens awarded 6.5 million in compensation. Holy shit. Yeah. And so clearly people are pissed about that who believe he did it. Oh yeah. As well as the fact that, you know, it's given. Okay. Okay. Okay. So there, the possibility of other subjects, suspects weren't looked into. And that's one of the reasons he got all that money. So two of the other suspects. So Sergeant Barry Rule wrote a book called A Viable Suspect. And he zeroed in on this dude who was a traveling salesman. And he was considered a person of interest in other violent cases. And he had a ton of
Starting point is 01:28:37 connections, including similarities in the car that, for fuck's sake, that scared the shit out of me. That was very jarring. Steven. Stop it. Stop rubbing your mustache on the microphone. I'm sorry, Steven. That was particularly harsh. I didn't mean it. It really wasn't.
Starting point is 01:28:57 Do you hear anything I'm saying? I screamed at our audience last night. I told the millennials, I said the word stupefied. I said the word stupefied and like easily 100 children yelled back Harry Potter. I still don't think that's what they were saying.
Starting point is 01:29:20 It was what they were saying. Are you fucking kidding me? Yes, because then when I said, are you yelling Harry Potter? They all cheered. And then I was like, that's why people hate millennials. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. It was fucking dumb. Do they know
Starting point is 01:29:35 stupefied was a word before Harry Potter? Whoa! I knew that was going to happen. Oh, you have Harry Potter's here? Are you so mad? Expecto stupefied oh my god it's okay guess what the rug is ruined just my rug you're all fired you just flung water of my face this thing is falling apart it's okay i've actually spilled it on myself multiple times tonight i knew that was gonna happen i just thought it would be me. Historically speaking, that's kind of me.
Starting point is 01:30:08 Shit, sorry. That's kind of my thing. That was, I'm stealing your bit. Can you not? Okay. Guys, focus. Get it together. The car that this dude, and he gave a fake name for the dude because he's dead and he didn't want to. The traveling salesman? Yeah. Okay. The car that this dude, and he gave a fake name for the dude because he's dead and he didn't want to.
Starting point is 01:30:25 The traveling salesman? Yeah. Okay. The car was similar. He owned a 1959 Chevy Bel Air. And the same, he was in this area the evening Lynn went missing. He also said he would have known the Clinton area because he was a traveling salesman. And similar shoe size.
Starting point is 01:30:46 So he died before the investigation. And then, sorry. Okay. There was a farmer who owned the property where Lynn's body was found. And he said he saw a strange car parked near his fence the night of Lynn going missing. And the officer on duty, who was near the Royal Canadian Air Force Base,
Starting point is 01:31:13 wasn't interested. And he also testified that the girl who said that Stephen was supposed to meet her at the bush came to her later before the trial and said, can you tell them, the time you keep telling them you saw the car, can you change that to an hour before? She's 12. So she's like, can you do me a favor? Why?
Starting point is 01:31:32 Because she wanted to fit with hers. Yeah. And this grown man was like, no one I'm going to go tell on you. She's like, well, then you're not invited to my birthday party. It's fucking bananas another suspect um so there was a air force sergeant named alexander kalachuk he was a heavy drinker history of sexual offenses lived within a 20 minute drive at the base and steven and lyn Lynn both lived at the base about three weeks before Lynn's murder. He had tried to lure a 10 year old girl into his car. Um,
Starting point is 01:32:11 I think a couple of towns over in the mid sixties, a files uncovered that detailed that he had been psychologically evaluated as a sexual predator and potential killer. Wow. And he had two counts of indecent exposure on record before ever even arriving in Clinton. Wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:29 Okay. He was waving it all around. Yeah. Swiss cheese. Swiss cheese pervert. I'm surprised so many people remember that incredible story. The best story of all time. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:44 For those of you who don't know, there's a man somewhere in the East Coast that likes to get into his car, not wear pants, hold up a piece of Swiss cheese, and trick women into looking at it, and then he's jerking off behind it. We're not tricking you guys, right?
Starting point is 01:33:00 The people who don't know this story, we're not tricking you. This is real. There's pictures of him doing it. There's fucking pictures and there's people who wear Halloween costumes of this man. Look it all up. This is our gift to you for later. And then call us insensitive. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:33:13 I was just fucking, you were a nurse for Halloween. Wow, I got really angry at the crowd. I know, you were mad. Listen. Look. Look at that. All right, and then there was also another man, an electrician with a conviction for rape who worked regularly at the base
Starting point is 01:33:31 and knew the Harpers, Lynn's family. Okay. So tons of choices. Tons of choices. Take a couple extra days before arresting Stephen. I mean, just mull it over for one second. Yeah. So, okay. extra days before i mean just mull it over for one second yeah um so okay oh no okay but here's the thing lynn's family this poor family who's been through so much
Starting point is 01:33:55 including all these this stuff with steven and still haven't found the gotten justice they still believe that steven was the murderer yeah and they also never told their aging father about the verdict and the money because they were like, he couldn't handle it. Of course not. So that's the murder of Lynn Harper. Oh, I have a photo of him and her as kids. Oh, really? Or is that too much?
Starting point is 01:34:18 Well, I guess Stephen's deciding. That's Stephen. That's him? Yeah. He kind of looks like an adult. Yeah, he's a big kid for a 14-year-old. And then let's him? Yeah. He kind of looks like an adult. Yeah. He's a big kid for a 14 year old. And then let's look at Lynn.
Starting point is 01:34:29 Oh, little baby. So that's that. Wow. That's, uh, thanks. I hope to God.
Starting point is 01:34:40 I mean, like these days it's very likely that someone can start a podcast where they're like, I'd like to know what happened. And then they could actually figure it out. Like people are doing that all the time now. Yeah. That'd be amazing. For sure. Someone did that. It's like authors being like, yeah, that was us until 10 years ago. You fucking asshole podcasters. They're like, would you just read off that paper? That's right. podcasters. They're like, would you just read off that paper? That's right. And we're like, start a podcast. I mean, you can dance now. It's not that hard. I just want to know the answer. I hate those kinds of things. I know. That's why I do them is because I hate them and I love them.
Starting point is 01:35:16 Yeah. No, I fucking, it's like a puzzle. Cause I'm yeah. Oh, it's all right. All right. It's clear. I almost said. Wow. Hey, do we have time for a hometown murder? Don't we? Will you look up?
Starting point is 01:35:35 Make sure Vince isn't like waving at us because I can't see. Are you okay? Can I just flash you all my underwear? Okay. Let me pick someone out. We just want to hear a hometown murder. Now, listen listen here's some rules we've learned we've learned this over the years you have to listen um you can't read off a piece of paper you have to tell it uh like it actually happened to you um you can't be super
Starting point is 01:35:58 drunk you can be lightly drunk but you can't be like slurry or posi drunk where like it's uncomfortable thanksgiving drunk we can't have that um it or posy drunk where like it's uncomfortable Thanksgiving drunk. We can't have that. It's fun if you have like a fun personality, but you don't have to have a huge personality. We prefer you don't. You know what? We've run out of time.
Starting point is 01:36:16 Okay, bye you guys. All right, and now I'm picking and I'm scared. You guys listen. Karen's letting me, I hear you. Karen's letting me pick now. And so don't fuck this up for me. Yeah. Is all I'm picking, and I'm scared. You guys, listen. Karen's letting me, I hear you. Karen's letting me pick now, and so don't fuck this up for me. Yeah. Is all I'm asking. Don't wave your arm if you just got half a game.
Starting point is 01:36:31 We never have a dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you. Sorry. We're having a dude. Fix your sock. Oh, shit, he's pointing. Uh-oh. He's got a big, we can see this.
Starting point is 01:36:39 Go, go, go, go. Thank you, Steven. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Hi. Hi. What's your name? I'm Sean. Don't ruin this for me, Sean. Hi. What's your name? I'm Sean. Don't ruin this for me, Sean.
Starting point is 01:36:48 Hi. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. Okay, take center stage. Center stage. All right. Say hello to everyone. Sean, hold on.
Starting point is 01:36:55 All right. Where are you from? Deep breath. I am from Bala, Muskoka. Or, like, Bala, Ontario, Muskoka. Awesome. Where is it on the mitten? Oh, up over there? Yeah, yeah. Okay, Muskoka. Awesome. Where is it on the mitten? Oh, up over there?
Starting point is 01:37:07 Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. All right. So it's about, yeah, 200 kilometers. Oh. Toronto. Okay.
Starting point is 01:37:13 Okay. All right. All right. So I don't actually remember the names of these people. Oh, Jesus. Well, then you're in the right place. Perfect. All right.
Starting point is 01:37:22 So it involves a man from Bracebridge, Ontario. Perfect. All right. So it involves a man from Bracebridge, Ontario. Perfect. So he moves to Toronto and he's a bodybuilder and he wants to be like a fitness instructor and everything. And then he meets this high school dropout, exotic dancer, drug dealer. Yes. Said very well. We're off to a great start. Good combination. Here we go. And so they hit it off. They get together.
Starting point is 01:37:52 And then they start partying like there's no tomorrow. Cocaine everywhere. Just great times all around. Well, times. Okay. They end up actually fighting so much after a little while that they get kicked out of multiple apartments. And then he eventually gets arrested or up on charges for something.
Starting point is 01:38:14 So he does the best thing he can do. And he skips town to go and live with mom and dad. And he brings the woman with her. The mom and dad don't like him or don't like her. Probably don't like him either. They don't like the exotic dancer drug dealer? Okay. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 01:38:32 Go figure. I mean. So from there, after a little while, they get their own place, and then they get kicked out. And yeah, a bunch of other places. It was actually so bad, their fighting, that a landlord gave them $900 to move out. Fuck.
Starting point is 01:38:50 That's never happened in the history of apartments. No. I'm going to try that next time. I want to break a lease. Good luck with that. They actually ended up having a kid at this point. So like I said, they were fighting. She actually got charged with assault on him
Starting point is 01:39:11 because he threatened to call child services because she was apparently a bad mother. His fatherhood had nothing to do with it. No, nothing. So she starts getting bored of him starts sleeping around uh and then actually develops a plan to move and but they were behind on rent so much that he actually had to go to court and like do a bunch of legal stuff so she she got her she got her shit together and planned to move out.
Starting point is 01:39:46 On the day that she was planning to leave, he had to go to court. But he came home early, caught her, and they got fighting, obviously. As they do. As they do. And what ended up happening was he ended up hitting her in the head about three or four times. After the first time, she actually tried to block the blows and ended up breaking some of her hand bones. So from there, she's obviously dead after the fourth or fifth blow.
Starting point is 01:40:20 Oh, okay. Right. I'm sorry. Spoiler alert, she dies. Okay. Shit. or fifth blow. Oh, okay. Right. I'm sorry. Spoiler alert, she dies. Okay. Shit. So he does what any rational person would do is he goes to Home Depot and buys four five-gallon drum buckets and matching lids. And now he's working for a construction company at this point. So he goes out, puts the body in the trunk with the four bins, and drives out to a former customer's place. It's a cottage. No one's around.
Starting point is 01:40:51 It's March, I believe, at this time. And so, yeah, no one's around. Cuts up the body, puts it in the pails, calls a friend, says, hey, man, I got to get out of my place. Can I store some stuff in your storage locker? Can I store some stuff in your storage locker? Can I store some buckets? Don't worry, the lids match. Don't worry, it gets worse.
Starting point is 01:41:17 Always, always. So while he's working on another job at a different cottage with the guy, he ends up sneaking, sneakily building a crate in which to store these four buckets. From there, so over the course of time, he builds this crate, puts the buckets in, seals it up, leaves. Three years later, the crate was noticed by the homeowner. Oh my god. Where was it? In the backyard? No, no, like, so it was like
Starting point is 01:41:47 it was kind of like over, so there was a porch kind of thing and there was like a crawl space. Yeah. So it's like next to the house. No, it was under the house. Under the porch. Jesus. So he was working on the house and he was like, oh yeah, I fixed that. I fixed that thing and then he puts
Starting point is 01:42:04 a dead body into the house, essentially. Oh my god. You're like, yeah I fixed that I fixed that thing and then he puts a dead body into the house essentially yeah so you're like yeah yeah I'm telling you that's what I'm saying uh so yeah like I said three years later uh the homeowner knows this crate uh and he asks uh this his handyman around from the uh that works around the place hey what's what's this crate doing? He's like, I don't know. Cracks it open and smell of death. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 01:42:38 Yeah. Oh, my God. So who was... Please right now say, I'm that handyman. Yeah. Even if you have to lie, it's the best ending of all time. I'm that handyman. Yes!
Starting point is 01:42:53 No, no. How? So he got really stupid with... Because he said the guy that killed his girlfriend, he actually used her cell phone for calls, sold her clothes, because he did initially say that she just ran away. So they eventually tracked it back to him, and he was
Starting point is 01:43:17 convicted in May 2013 for, he got charged with second degree murder so that's automatic death or not death sorry it should be automatic life in prison
Starting point is 01:43:35 with chance of parole after 17 years so he's eligible for parole in 2013 or 2030 wow well good
Starting point is 01:43:44 wow so that's that was great that's my hometown murder that was amazing now you don't have to read that one because i emailed it to you thank you so much great job yes that's how you tell a hometown murder. Just take your time and tell it.
Starting point is 01:44:09 I'm just kidding. I'm giving you shit. Lights down. That's beautiful. This has been really incredible. It really is so fun. It's so cool that we get to do this exact thing and you want to come and see us do it live. It's so cool that we get to do this exact thing
Starting point is 01:44:26 and you want to come and see us do it live. It's ridiculous. It really is. We're lucky. We fucking love Canada. You guys are all so supportive of us from the very beginning. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 01:44:36 Thanks for coming out. Thanks for getting the tickets. Thanks for making the effort. Thanks for listening for as long. Thanks for listening so long that you know I fucked up Paul Bernardo. Thank you. And the Swiss cheese guy.
Starting point is 01:44:49 Thank you, guys. So stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Bye, you guys.

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