My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - MFM Minisode 14

Episode Date: January 9, 2017

Dial 1-800-KILL-KILL-KILL it's a My Favorite Murder minisode! This week, Karen and Georgia kick off 2017 with your hometown stories about nextdoor murderers, young 'Bonnie & Clyde' types, twisted morticians, and more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We at Wondery live, breathe and downright obsess over true crime and now we're launching the ultimate true crime fan experience, Exhibit C. Join now by following Wondery, Exhibit C on Facebook and listen to true crime on Wondery and Amazon Music, Exhibit C. It's truly criminal. You look so surprised to see me. Oh, it's you. Oh, I feel like we just got a countdown from something like a news thing and in five, four and then silent three, two and then Karen looked at me and went, Hey, good evening. This is Georgia Hard Star. No, it's not. Are we starting? Oh, and one begin. Hey, Karen. Hi. How are you? Welcome. Thank you, Georgia. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you to welcome you to my show and my apartment and you're oh my god, welcome to your

apartment. Thank you. That's your bedroom. Thank you. Please feel free to use your bathroom. Thank you. Should I have her though? That'd be better because I don't want your germs in here. My butt. I don't want your butt around. This is my favorite murder mini-soad where we read you your hometown murders. Yes. And they're because we get so many and they're great. And you should I say the number? The phone number? Yeah, should I give your phone number? We should have a phone number. Oh my god. 1-800. We should. Kill, kill, kill. Uh, no, I was going to say the amount, the number of 11,879 emails are in our inbox. Unread. No brag. Unread. No brag. It's not a brag because it's making us go out of our fucking minds with anxiety. It's not a brag because now it's Steven's

job. Yeah. So next, people who send them to us now write them to Steven. It's really exciting because I feel like Steven's about to like, it's like January. It's like a brand new year. We've got a plan. We're going to take care of business. Yeah. We're going to get fucking A-bombed, but doesn't matter in the meantime. No, yeah. Until you notice it's a race to that. And until then, we're going to be so organized. It's a race war to that. Steven is going to take care of our emails. I'm just ignoring that. What about race war? I'm on, I'm on the, okay. You're talking Keith Papini style. No, no, no. You're not trying to start a race war. I'm fighting Keith Papini. Oh, okay. I'm not on his side. No, of course not. My point is that Steven's going to be taking

over a lot of shit and I'm really excited about it because. I like that we're telling people as if they're super stressed about it when we're the ones that are super stressed about it. Oh, right. I don't give a, it's just like, yeah. No brag. My inbox is empty. This is why we fucking hired you, Steven. We wouldn't have hired someone who has, we wouldn't have hired ourselves, but somehow we got the job. I also got to do the brag that Steven, when Steven said his inbox was empty, I looked at mine, 19,810 emails. You know what? If it's important, they'll email you again four times. If it's important, I'll get a UPS registered letter saying you owe and then you'll put it somewhere else and you'll get four more. I figure if it's important, the sheriff will pull up

guns a blazing and take me down to the station. That's the hope and then I'll come but like bail you out. Yes, you will please. Maybe I'll let you learn a lesson for a night though. Oh, that's good idea. Yeah. Teach me a lesson. I'm going to let you learn your lesson about emails. So here, do you want to start? Wait, no, you go. Okay. Here's the first one that I picked and it's because it's from Erin and the subject line is I was getting laid while they were getting slayed. That's right. That's how we're kicking off January. Punk, rock, kick in the air. Hey, you guys, and that's all a bunch of E's, a bunch of O's and a bunch of U's. Hey, you guys. You refuse to say it. I won't do it. This isn't Sesame Street. So I listen to you guys when I'm

driving, working, cooking, and showering. It's dangerous. And it's gotten to the point where I now use Murderina Lingo in my common daily life. I own a restaurant and recently during a shift, said to my crew, by granted, I look a little like Luke from Gilmore Girls. Don't know who that is. Me either. She said a shorter, more lesbian Luke. Is Luke one of the ladies? No, I think Luke is the male lead. Okay, got it. But we'll have to check our sources, Stephen. So those words coming out of my mouth were not expected one bit. My staff stopped in their tracks like a scratched record staring at me. Oh, well, so here's my hometown murder. I grew up in Littitz, Pennsylvania, where nothing but chocolate and pretzels. I got Littitz, too.

George said that with one hand on her chin. It's kind of like a sassy librarian. I wish you could have seen it. I got Littitz, too. Okay, Littitz. Littitz was voted coolest little town or something ridiculously homie like that. And folks who grew up there usually stay there. It's a snow globe town, adorable as fuck. In the neighborhood, in the neighborhood where my parents lived, there were a group of kids that were all within three to five years of each other, like a ton. We used to play collective neighborhood flashlight tag, kick the can, capture the flag, you get it. I moved away for college and only came back for a short time. While my mom was sick, I was 24 at the time and hated being back in my childhood room.

But you know, nothing says independence like sleeping on a twin bed under your third grade class picture. She's really painting a picture for us. I was casually dating this girl who also lived at home, winners, and we literally never were alone. One night while my parents were on vacation, we stole the house and did what any early 20s heart-struck lesbian couples do, got wasted and watched Disney movies. That totally went in a direction I didn't expect. I didn't either. In the morning, we scrambled to leave for work and were immediately circled by police. I was convinced my parents had found out about our rager and couldn't believe they called the cops. I rolled down my window and the police officer yelled, what are you doing here?

I told him I was going to work, which he said, not this way, you aren't. There's some crazy stuff that happened on up the street, you have to stay inside. So I called into work with no details, awesome way to get fired, and stayed inside like the cop told me to. Three hours later, we got a visit from the same police officer who told us there had been a murder up the street. Michael and Catherine Borden, who lived 200 yards from me, were both murdered in their home by their daughter's boyfriend, David Ludwig. You piece of shit. David, 18, who was dating their 14-year-old daughter, EW, was found to be sexually active with her after being forbidden to see each other. Ludwig broke into their house, killed both parents, and then fled with their daughter, Cara. At the

point, at the point the cop had come to my house, they were still on the run. Eventually, David wrecked the getaway car into a tree in Indiana after a chase and they recovered Cara. Cara attended her parents' funeral sitting next to her other siblings. Fuck. What? No, get the fuck out of here. Initially, they sought the death penalty for David, but after a plea, he was given life imprisonment with no hope for parole. Now we know what that means. That's how we need to fucking end that. After that, the house became neighborhood scare shack where kids play flashlight tag would go up and see how close they could get to the front door before they freaked out and ran back. Shows that you never know what's happening in a small town. Anywho, Elvis, you're awesome.

Ladies, thank you so much. Stay sexy. Don't get murdered, Erin. That was awesome, but also fuck. I don't want kids, especially after this podcast. You know what I mean? If you raise a kid, I don't know what's worse, having the daughter or the shitty boy who's dating a 14-year-old who kills the family. I mean, you just can't control fate. That's the thing. Whether you have kids and they grow up and then they're old and they live next door to you and nothing ever happens or a boulder rolls down your street. That's true. Or like James and the Giant Peach, his parents' favorite. Yes, they got run over by a rhinoceros. That would probably shape me. That was my... Yes, the rhinoceros escaped the zoo, right? And they ran down the street and ran over his parents,

and then they had to go live with Aunt Spiker and Aunt Sponge. Oh my god. The two worst aunts of all time. Is this why we must have a connection on this level? Because Royall Doll is my fucking favorite person in the whole world. He's the best. And he hated children. Did you know that? He hated children. And I think you may have been either an anti-semite. Oh, cool. There was some questionable stuff that is surprising for a person who wrote things like The Big Friendly Giant and Danny, the champion of the world. Yeah. Some of my favorite books of all time. Please don't ruin James and the Giant Peach for me. Can't do it. How can you ruin it? An anti-semite wrote it. Yeah, that's how you ruin it. Sorry, that's exactly right. Isn't it offset by living on a peach that

you can just eat? Oh, with insects. With like the coolest insects. When my teacher read that in like fourth grade, I just sat there going, I want to live on a peach so bad. I want to eat my home. I love peaches. I love peaches. I want to eat my home. Yeah. Oh, god. All right. Thanks, Erin. Thank you. Okay. This one is called, let's see, which one should I do first? Okay. God damn it. Okay. This one's called, it says hometown story, then all caps, you will die. Yes. This is from Olivia. Hey, ladies, I'm obsessed with your podcast and you, my fiance thinks I should be hospitalized and that I'm planning his murder. You will die at this story. So good. So the quote is Bonnie and Clyde for some reason. Okay. So my fiance went to high

school with this couple, Heather, who's now 20 years old and Tommy, who's now 22. Heather came from a wealthy family and is a bit of a troublemaker growing up. She had a tumultuous relationship with her mother because of this. And it got worse when she started dating a quote bad boy named Tommy. Yes, from the wrong side of the track. Hey, man. Tommy. Tommy. Just a white T-shirt all the time. Make it from the waist down and white T-shirt. Tommy, gross. Porky pig in a white T-shirt. About two years ago, Heather's mom, Sheila, arranged a luxurious trip to Bali for her and Heather to iron out their relationship. Yeah. That's how my family does it. I know, right? They were going to get like vacation braids and shit. Yeah. We just put on some sarongs in Bali

and just talk shit through. It's why my mom and I are best friends. No, it's not because we don't talk. No. Tommy unexpectedly joined them. I'm sorry. And Sheila was not happy. How did you unexpectedly jump on a plane to Bali? Yeah, it becomes expected when you're shelling out eight grand for Tommy. Totally. During the trip, the couple told Sheila that they were expecting a baby. Oh. Sheila did not think Tommy was a good guy and she was not pleased about the news. During a confrontation, the mother was beaten to death by Tommy with a glass ashtray. Oh my God. Holy fuck. The couple smashed the lifeless body into a suitcase, called a taxi, put the suitcase into the taxi, told the taxi driver they would be right back and ran away. What? That is not a good plan.

After some time went by, the taxi driver got suspicious. Yeah. And discovered it was a dead woman in his trunk. They looked into the hotel surveillance footage and tracked down a couple by the airport trying to flee the country. Heather and Tommy tried to claim it was self-defense because Sheila attacked them after learning about the unborn baby. Yeah, fucking right. However, the authorities later discovered the couple had planned the murder for months. Whoa. They planned the murder for months and an ashtray is what they're going to use. Yeah. Yeah. In Bali? Yeah. Bali? Bali. I know. I'm never going to go there. That's the one place that I won't go for our tour. Why? No, I'm just kidding. That's not the place. You're finally revealing the city and it's Bali.

It's like the most beautiful place ever. I won't go there. This is where we find out that Bali is not in the United States. Wait, what? I thought there were 51. Let's see here. Stephen's choking. Sorry. Sorry, we're so funny, Stephen. Sorry, Stephen. They use the code term saying hi quote for any time they would talk about the planned murder. These people sound fucking stupid. Don't you think this is perfect time to go and say hi or let's say hi after we tell her the news? Heather and Tommy got convicted and they're both still in Bali prison. Oh, you don't want to be in Bali prison, I'm guessing. Is that the bad spot? I don't know. I just don't want to be, I don't know. It's like a jail out over blue crystal waters. It sucks. There's like

chase lounges and shit. So much drinking out of coconut. So many coconuts. Heather had her baby and is raising her daughter in the Bali prison. It also came out that in Chicago, hey, what if you were someone's like, hey, where are you raised? In a prison? In a Bali prison with my mom. I'm a victim here. I'm totally innocent. We should go visit my hometown. It's a fucking maximum security prison. This is where we had Christmas. It's corner. This is where my mom had what's it called when you're by yourself the whole day? Being super lonely. It also came out that in Chicago where Heather grew up that the police had been called to their house over 90 times because Heather would abuse her mom. Why the fuck was nothing done? Heather

and Tommy both still post on social media like Luna chicks all the time and call and my fans say is quote friends with both of them because he knew them back in high school. I'm sorry. He's calling her fucking crazy and he's friends with fucking murderers on Facebook. This whole thing is gone. This person might be a little stone and just writing whatever they comes to their head. I think this is Olivia's call for fry for help, but her fiance is a visually I mean, I'm what's the word when you're speaking vocally abusing her. What's the word? Verbally. Thank you. You are visually abusing me or vocally abusing me. You look like shit. Vocal suck. You look terrible. He's gaslighting or he's telling her she's crazy. It didn't mean

well. He's like, Hey, happy birthday, Heather. There's there's so many victims in this story. I don't know where to start. I live for their social media posts and I can't look away in recent posts to her more than 17,000, 1750 Instagram followers have. Why do you get fucking Instagram and prison? Listen, wouldn't you follow someone that's in a Bali? Yeah. Why does she get Instagram? Oh yeah. Cause I think Bali prison is the shit. Okay. Here's what she wrote. Do you want to know what Heather wrote on her Instagram? Yeah. I know y'all haters getting ready to throw me at home. A homecoming party. I know y'all haters getting ready to throw me a homecoming party. So that's sarcasm.

Probably not. I don't think I think sarcasm is for smart people. There are so many more details and I don't want this to be too long. So here's the link. Love you both. XOXO, Olivia. Olivia, what the hell did you just tell us honey? There are places you can go to get away. Do you is now is Heather leaving Bali prison to go to a cyber cafe down the street from the prison to log on? Or does she get to have her own laptop in Bali prison? I bet you at why? Okay. Why would prisoners have access to computers? I mean, did she earn it? Did she mop really hard that week? Like high school students, we barely got access to computers. Yeah. It's crazy. And then it was only like fucking the organ trail and shit. And also,

what's that baby like? Does it have long hair like a hippie baby? No, it's got fucking vacation braids. Like it's been on a carnival cruise its whole life. Should we both do one more? Sure. That was fucking nuts. All right. Again, this is one is called don't have children. I mean, you don't have teenagers. That's right. I'm going to do this one from Thomas. I always want to say the last name. I know. The subject line is my mom almost went on a blind date with a special ed teacher slash killer. Oh man. Okay. Hi, murder queens. Oh, I like that. That's fun. Okay. Long time listener. First time emailer. And then a smiley face made with print the season stuff. Elvis not now. So when I was eight years old, my folks got divorced. Two years later in 1992,

my mom was, oh my God, I was already, I was already a deep alcoholic at this point. My mom, you were. It's not about me. Okay. Two years later in 1992, in 1992, my mom was already was ready enough to try to start dating again. I'll do it. She had a close friend that she worked with. We'll call him Sammy that lived near us with his wife. He felt, he really felt bad for my mom and her ugly divorce and offered to set her up with his brother on a blind date. Stephen Clark Foster was a special ed teacher at a suburban elementary school in the Portland, Oregon area called Oregon City. Everything went to hell. However, just one week before she was to go on the date with Sammy's brother, this was early October 1992. And the principal from Stephen Foster school, Alan Dean

Gallagher had gone missing. The comedian. His first name's Alan. Is it? No. And that was a way inside baseball standup comedy show about the comedian Gallagher. I am not way into baseball. It also wasn't funny. So he had gone missing and hadn't been heard from in nearly a week, likely racked with guilt and shame. Stephen Foster called 911 from a pay phone to say that he had information regarding the principal's disappearance. I believe the police dispatcher told him to stay there. They'd have a patrol car come to his location at the pay phone to speak with him. However, he panicked, got in his car and left. Police did not find him at the phone booth. However, they later spotted his car driving on the I-405 in downtown Portland. Foster eventually pulled

his car over atop the Fremont Bridge, the highest bridge over the Willamette River, and was observed pacing back and forth. Obviously the police feared he was contemplating jumping to his death. The homicide detectives that followed him were able to convince him to get into their car with them and go talk with them at a safer location off the bridge. Foster admitted that he had some sort of dispute with his principal. I believe he was caught stealing something from the school or someone at the school as Foster had multiple arrests in the past for theft over the years, but they go ahead and hire him as a teacher. And then he's just packing that backpack with post-it notes. He stated that he lured Gallagher to his home where he repeatedly stabbed his boss

in the chest, neck, and abdomen until he died. Foster drove Gallagher's body 35 miles west of Portland, buried his body in a shallow grave, while the detectives were waiting for officers from Oregon City to arrive at where they had pulled over with Foster. The special ed teacher slid over from the front passenger seat into the driver's seat of the detective's cruiser after slipping his handcuffed hands from his back to his front side and began to take off, pedal to the metal. As he nearly hit the officers as he pulled out, one of the detectives opened fire with his service pistol and two bullets struck Foster and the abdomen. Foster didn't make it very far there after crashing the cruiser into a utility pole just down the street. Foster would be taken to

the hospital where he would later succumb to his wounds and die. Officers were able to use the information Foster gave them just before shooting to locate the principal's body later that day. Needless to say, that put my mom off dating even longer. Who's going to ask how the date was? After that near date with a killer, best wishes from Murderino Thomas, stay sexy, don't get dead, p.s. I'm also a distant relative of Charles Lindberg and the Lindberg baby. Oh, I love that. Fascinating murder in itself. I agree. I'm fascinated with that murder. Yeah, it's so sad. It's so what happened because the person, what? I think I know what happened. I think it got so foiled in the beginning. I don't want to say what it is in case we both do it.

Okay, should we both do it? We should both do it. Debate. Debate the same point. Just so you know, he also says he got his tickets for the dollops 1126 Portland show this week. Oh, we don't give a shit if you're going to the dollop. Fuck the dollop. No, I love it. No, I'm just kidding. We love the dollop. There are sister podcasts. They are. And that was two weeks ago. Yeah. Thanks, Thomas. So we can plug it all we want. Yeah, that's right. They're not going to fucking. There's nothing you can do now. Motherfucking. Wow, man, that sucks. That's, well, what's crazy to me is he got caught stealing from something from a school. So he stabbed the principal repeatedly. Get fired. What collect unemployment? What could

be in that school? A typewriter? Like, what's the most valuable thing in the 90s? It doesn't make sense. It doesn't. Dending machine. And how do you more than that? I bet it was like he was molesting children. Yeah. But why wouldn't they? Maybe it's not, they can't prove it. So they're just saying it's like a. I want to know, like immediately I was like the cop who was able to talk him off the ledge and into the cop car. Like that guy deserves a medal. And then some fucking rookie cop, like, ruined it for him. Because the way he put the. Because he put the handcuffs on wrong or not tied. No, not or he put him in the front seat instead of the locking him in the back and then shot him. And the guy was like, I was going to fucking metal for talking this guy off

a fucking bridge. You made the metal up, though. But let's pretend there's a medal. You're right. You're right. But what I was going to say is what if he's one of those like he like from a distance you're just like, oh, that's just some dude. But then underneath like his sweater, he's like a total yoga guy. So like he was going to be able to flip those like get his like double jointed or weirdly able to get getting your hands from back to front. Oh yeah. In handcuffs is not an easy thing to do. No. In a car. But what do you think was going to happen? I thought you were going to ask if he was going to do like a fucking handstand off the bridge. I just hypnotized everybody. He just wanted to do a sun citation. And then they're like, you know what, I think he's a good guy. Let him go.

He's good at yoga. Let him go. Let go. Let God. Okay. Looking for a better cooking routine with meal planning, shopping and prepping handled. Hello, fresh has you covered. Hello, fresh makes home cooking easy and affordable so you can stay on track and on budget in the new year. Hello, fresh meals are convenient, seasonal and delicious. Stay cozy all winter long with classic comfort foods available weekly. Why stop with just dinner? Now you can enjoy Hello, fresh's expanded menu of quick lunch solutions, weekend brunch, simple side dishes and amazing desserts. Karen January is going to be my month for Hello, fresh. I am so sick of takeout. I miss cooking so much. I haven't lifted a knife or a pan

since like early fall. So I can't wait to get back in the kitchen and Hello, fresh makes it so easy and also makes it so that my food tastes good, which is hard to do on my own. It gives you everything, everything you need. So get up to 20 free meals with purchase plus free shipping on your first box at Hello, fresh.ca slash murder 20 with code murder 20. That's up to 20 free meals plus free shipping on your first box when you go to Hello, fresh.ca slash murder 20 and use code murder 20. Goodbye. What makes a person a murderer? Are they born to kill or are they made to kill? I'm Candice DeLong and on my new podcast killer psyche daily, I share a quick 10 minute rundown every weekday on the motivations and behaviors of the criminal masterminds, psychopaths and cold

blooded killers you hear about in the news. I have decades of experience as a psychiatric nurse, FBI agent and criminal profiler on killer psyche daily. I'll give you insight into cases like Ryan Grantham and the newly arrested Stockton serial killer. I'll also bring on expert guests to dive deeper into the details, share what it's like to work with a behavioral assessment unit at Quantico, answer some killer trivia and even host virtual Q&As where I'll answer your burning questions. Hey, Prime members, listen to the Amazon Music exclusive podcast killer psyche daily in the Amazon Music app. Download the app today. Uh, last one. This one is called my aunt and uncle were friends with a murderer and he was a mortician. What Jessica levels Jessica. Hi, Georgia

and Karen love your podcasts. Obviously my best friend and I were obsessed and basically wanted to be you guys when we grow up. Are you calling us old? That's rude. Uh, so here's my favorite murder probably ever. Also, uh, I don't make this sound interesting because I might wait. Also, if I don't make this sound interesting because I might not just watch the movie about the guy. Nope, girl. This is all about your fucking story. Yeah, that's right. Um, time to shine. My uncle was a mortuary, was in mortuary school in Lake Charles, Louisiana, probably. Is this ALA? Uh-huh. Yeah. Um, and worked side by side with this really nice guy named Bernie Tide. They worked T I E D E. They worked at a local funeral home together, basically 20 for seven for a year. I recently

texted my uncle about it and he casually responded. We would go to remove dead people from their place of their places of death together and bomb together and work funerals together. You get the idea. Just like the Vernon Shirley. She wrote, you know, the usual. My uncle then moved to the Shreveport area, but kept in touch with Bernie. Apparently he would visit them in Shreveport while he was living in Cathridge, Texas. I know it's Texas and they would have him over for dinner and catch up. Okay. Here's where the story gets awesome. So Bernie was in Cathridge doing his mortician thing for a small town, running the funeral home, et cetera. And he was like the nicest guy apparently. Everyone in the community loved him in 1990. Is this the short? Is this

what fucking Jack Gallifanakis? It's Jack Black. Fuck. Sorry. You're thinking of the, that's the other one where they were both running for mayor or whatever. No, I'm not. Are you sure? The one you're thinking of is Bernie, which is Jack Black, where it's the little mustache on the curly hair. I've seen it like four times. I'm telling you. I believe you, but I think it is. This is a Veronica Lake situation where I guarantee you, Karen, I've never been wrong in the past 30 seconds before this. Here's, here's how I know, because I love the movie Bernie, because I could watch Jack Black do nothing. But in this movie, he is so insanely hilarious. Okay. You have to admit that they both kind of like resemble each other. So I'm not insane. No, not in the least. And they're,

they're both playing like effeminate Southern guys with like moustaches. Like what Jack Gallifanakis plays when he plays his brother. Yes, exactly. It's the same character. And baskets. Right. It's the same thing in that one, but that's one where he's running against Will Ferrell in Bernie, which is based on a true story. I'm thinking of that movie. I think I'm just thinking of the wrong person. Yeah, you've recast it. Listen, I have to air freshener at 13 years old. Like, I'm not going to fucking remember everything. And I'm okay. Like I would accept that. This is called the Febreze excuse and I'm sick of hearing it. It was, it was like a grocery store brand. Like Blade. Don't do drugs. Yes. Yeah. Okay. So he met this lady Marjorie Marge Nugent,

awesome, at her husband's funeral. Everyone says Marjorie was this total bitch, really bitter and pretty much hated everyone, which is who I want to be when I'm old. Yeah, I will be. Okay, but Bernie, who was in his early thirties and Marjorie, who was around 80, became inseparable. Pretty bizarre. In 1921, she had disinherited her son and left her 5 million estate to Bernie. Okay, what she says? And was kind of a strange from her kids, apparently. By 93, Bernie left his job to work for her full time as her business manager and travel companion. Oh my God, it's Steven. That's Steven's role. Oh my God, Steven's our Bernie. Steven, that's your title. Basically, he was his old lady. He has the mustache. He does. Basically, he was his old lady's assistant. So

three years later in 96, people noticed Marjorie never left her house. Bernie was essentially spent all his time in her estate. Just said she was very ill and was taking care of her, but the Bernie kept her the act for nine months claiming she was ill and didn't want to leave the house and didn't want to speak to anyone. Basically, the kids came over and found her body in a freezer. She had shot her in the back four times and then put her freezer and then put her in the freezer in the garage. One of those old big standalone freezers, which are so fucking awesome because there's so many fucking TV dinners in there. That's right. And like popsicles wait the bomb. You forgot we're in there. Yeah, like girl, like the shitty green

and purple ones. Yeah. Then nobody wanted. They kind of fell out of the box. And then you're like, well, you could go move those ribeye steaks over wrapped in white paper and see if you can't get yourself an old fudgicle. I did not expect that to end that way. It was gorgeous. Fudgicle. An old fudgicle. Fudgicle. That's your nickname. The old fudge. The old fudgicle. Apparently it was pretty fucking whatever it was. Now, because like I said, he was a super nice guy until he snapped. Oh, here's one of your something funny. He was in charge of everything. If you want to watch the movie, which starts Jack Black, I would have fought you for that. I know, I know. What is wrong with me? No, I'm the exact same way because you have it in your

head. Like you can see it in your head. And so you're sure of it. I do the exact same thing. I mean, you can't tell me that they weren't like they weren't up for the role together. Like you can't tell me. No, you're still right, even though you're wrong. For sure. I just want to be right on one fucking thing. Yep. It's called Bernie. It's on Netflix. Stay sexy. Don't get murdered, Jessica. P.S. Until 2014, Bernie had been serving a life sentence, then some new info came out. Boring stuff. That's not interesting. I wouldn't even go into it. Honey, you need to stop. You're great. Got released on bail. Part of the terms that between his release and sent resentencing, he had to reside in. I don't know Richard Link letters,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like how in the actual fact that they decide that it was a reasonable condition of his release, the end. Oh, like basically that they were like, he's kind of nice and he's a good. So he gets to get out and really has to live with this person. Oh, I see. He has to live with film maker Richard Link letter. Well, if that's the terms of parole, then so be it. I'll take it. Well, I would recommend watching that movie, Bernie, if you are bored. The only thing that's stressful for me, I was watching it, why I would say about a year ago, and there's a part where Jack Black is singing a hymn in the church and he's doing the thing where he moves his lip. It's just, he's the funniest person, but it's really stressful because if you are avoiding

anything in your life, like say a bill or there's something that's kind of hanging over your head, movies like that, like for me, it was stressing me out so bad because he's avoiding like he's killed her, right? And so she's in the freezer and then he's trying to put people off and like do this dance and like around town. He's kind of like trying to like make it so that the problem never surfaces like waiting to get found out is a stress for you. Well, like when you really kind of lied to someone and like, you know, they're going to find out one day. So you have to tell them, but you don't want them to know like, well, for me, it's less of a lie and more of like the, it was my for a long time. It was my taxes that I never took care of, but I knew I had to. Yeah. But and

you're just like going about your life pretending that you don't have this huge fucking problem. Yes. Which drains you in every way and is so terrible to do to yourself, but you pretend like it's just easier to like, to procrastinate than it is to take care of something when actually it's the exact opposite. When you see it in a movie, you go, this fucking ridiculous pain for him. Yes. And you, you see how dumb it is to do to yourself. That's how I feel about people who like cheat on someone and then have to keep decide never to tell them. Yeah. Like I'd rather tell them and they break up with me than have to keep that for fucking 25 years. But I think there are people who like cheating. They like having a secret. Like there's that thing too of people

who are like, I just told people that I fucking huffed air fresheners. So clearly I'm not one of those. You're not a secret person. No, I don't think I am either. But I realized that that used to make me really mad about people like how dishonorable it is. And it's like, eh, everybody has a thing. Give them, let them have it. Let them have their thing. Yeah. Whatever. Just don't be a dick. Then you can just like, if you find a way, find out about it, you can just like walk away and be like, well, I wash my hands of you. Yeah. You don't have to be like destroyed. It's like, Oh, that's your thing. What an unfortunate situation for you therapy. Yeah. Like tell your therapist. Find something else. Wait, maybe like kites. You're not even giving him a chance because

you're so into cheating. Oh my God, people who like are really into kites. That's a thing. That's what it is. They're like, I love box kites because I used to fuck every woman in town. Also, I killed an old woman. She's in the freezer. She's still in the freezer. Look at this guy. It has eyes. The eyes are looking down at you. There's tails. Is that a thing on kites? Tails. Oh my God. It's a huge piece of kites. Uncle Andy's really into tails. I mean, kites. Oh, right. Thanks for listening to maybe the craziest episode of the Minnesota. This is a great one. Thanks for sending those in. Yeah, keep doing it. Keep doing it. It's good times. My favorite murder at Gmail. Let's say what's up to Stephen. Say what's up to Stephen.

Tell him to get on his homework. Really? Tell him to make our fucking lives easier already. Please. If you could. It's 2017 already and stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Bye. Elvis, you want a mini cookie? Who's eating? I can hear. Yeah. You want a mini cookie? Cookie? Yeah. There we go. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye.