My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - MFM Minisode 334

Episode Date: June 5, 2023

This week’s hometowns include a coworker’s secret past and getting on the wrong tour bus.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is exactly right. It's hard to imagine losing a loved one, a wife, a husband, a child. For many, it's their biggest fear. Amarissa Jones, host of The Vanished. A podcast that tells the stories of often overlooked and unsolved missing persons' cases, in an effort to uncover the truth. Listen to The Vanished on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello. Hello. And well, so my favorite writer. The mini-show.

That's right. You want to go first, you want me to go first? Did you just go first? I'll go first, right? No, after you went first. Because I went last. So you go first. So I go first.

Okay, great. This one's called that-ass detective dad, cool case hometown, fucking hooray. So it's fun at all. Mm-hmm. Dearest all, humans and animals included. Long time listener, third time writer, love you all, love everything you do and stand for. Let's get into it.

In 2001, my badass dad was a patrol deputy for the county sheriff and was the first responder to the scene of a murder. A woman fatally shot and left in a wildlife area near a river about 30 minutes from my hometown. Sadly, this case ended up being cold for years and it wasn't until, and then there all these like squiggly stars advances in DNA technology.

But years later, that they were able to connect the offender to the crime. My dad is insanely good at his job and worked his way up to being the supervising sergeant of the major crimes investigations unit and continued working on this case for 13 years until the fucker was put in jail for 80 years to life. Ooh, and the middle of all of this, too,

they were able to connect the same man to a murder he committed in 1982 when he was in high school in Vacaville. And then it says, I know you know Vacaville, Karen. A 14 year old girl never came home after a party and her body was found the next day. A close friend of the victim has worked for 40 years to bring justice to her case.

The man who did it is going to trial for this crime this year. Fucking Array for justice and two salt cold cases. Wow. Also fucking Array for Justice and two salt-cooled cases. Wow. Also fucking Array for my dad, who was turning 50 on 420, which I think is hilariously ironic as a NorCal cop who is very much not 420 friendly.

Few of them are. Uh-huh. And he is finally retiring in May from the Sheriff's Department after 27 years. My dad has made such a positive difference in his many different roles throughout his career, most recently working as the chief from the Sheriff's Department after 27 years. My dad has made such a positive difference in his many different roles throughout his career,

most recently working as the Chief Deputy Coroner. He has kept his head down, worked over time basically his entire career, and touched the lives of many people in our community. He's advocated for women in the department, gotten dumb fuckers fired for abusing their power, and given the big old fuck you to the politics of the system. Says he's a real ron swanson type.

He's taken on the role of social worker, grief counselor, victim advocate, et cetera, things that he can do gracefully, thankfully, but many, many others can't. Then it says cough cough to fund the police and put that money into other trained professionals so cops can stick to their core responsibilities. Yeah. In the last couple of years, he's had some major health issues arise from the untreated

PTSD and the physical demand of his job. So I'm very happy that now he will finally be able to focus fully on healing, growing, and his newfound passion, building guitars. The man can truly do it all. Thank you for all you guys do at NFM. True Crime is a big part of my family's life in many ways. My dad will definitely never hear this, but my mom will because she also listens to your show.

Maybe next time I'll send in the story of meeting the Golden State Killer's ex-Fiancé at my grandpa's funeral. Or the time my dad and his partner work accidentally got high on cocaine in the evidence locker. Toodles, Riley pronounced like Riley. She, her. Riley. First of all, as Riley was telling these stories of her father, I'm picturing some old guy, this is retiring. And then she said his age and I'm like, oh, I'm older than Riley's father

Son of a bitch Clearing cold cases though. I mean every time I watch a true crime show and there are those cold case detectives those Those usually I think it feels like they assign people with a ton of experience that are like they've already done a great job being detectives and solving cases and so now they're going back to like clearing the hard ones. Yeah. And the fact that people are doing that and they're revisiting it time and again is a silver lining on the serious problem of, you know, of what otherwise is can be, it's like what's happening to the police in this country.

It's a very problematic institution. Yes. As with anyone, there's good and bad in it. So nuances. Yes. We just left the funding. The funding's got to come down and we got to put it into fucking schools. Like, it doesn't make sense.

It doesn't make sense. It really. There's like, we should arm teachers. And my sister goes, yeah, I would love some air conditioning. Oh my God. How about the fact that I bought Legos for my sister's classroom? Because she's had one container of Legos that everyone has to. She told me this story of having to schedule

how the kids are going to use Legos, and I was immediately just sent her for things of Legos. Amazing. I shouldn't have to do that. No. In normal countries that give a shit about, what am I talking about? Who cares?

Sorry. No, forget it. Forget it. OK. Instead, let's read this game. OK. This will be better. And the subject line is cults, conversions, priests.

Great. And those all have exclamation points at the end. Dear friends, I went to an Episcopalian high school in the 80s. If you're not familiar with the Episcopalians, and then apprentice, it says, sometimes referred to as whiskey palians, or God's frozen people, which might be my favorite thing I've ever heard.

God's frozen people is so fucking hilarious. We like lots of critical thinking, have great schools, have women and gay priests, the works. Oh, fun. In my senior year, I took without a doubt the most useful high school course out there, cults and conversions. Oh, fun. I love this fucking email so much.

It was taught by a thoughtful, a vancular, a piscopal minister. If you don't know what a vancular means, it means uncle like, which is one of the great words in the English language. I didn't know that. Yeah, right? It's not a goodie.

While the premise was, we don't want you kids to join a cult. The teacher wasn't preach your judgmental, he just had us read and discuss books about techniques used by cults. I still remember the basics, maybe they will help someone listening. Run the other way if that new religious group is asking you to do any of the following. One, isolate from family and friends. Two, stay up for services or chores.

And then in parentheses, it says sleep deprivation. Three, eat their free, high carb meals, leaving you hungry, but with a sense of euphoria. What? Free spaghetti dinners? Free, yeah. It's like sugar and pasta, that kind of stuff. Okay.

You get a big charge and then you crash. Yeah. Also donate large amounts of money or take very expensive classes. And one other technique, you will likely be approached by an attractive member of the opposite sex. And then in parentheses, it says, we were still operating in the gender binary in those days.

We watched an intense documentary about Jonestown and we had guest speakers from Colts come to our classroom to hear their point of view. We learned about deprogramming kids who had been swept up by cults and the agony that their parents went through. For our final project, we all went to various cults in pairs to conduct interviews. What? Yeah, this is intense. My friend and I went to the nearest location of a large national cult. I'd rather not identify.

Here's my personal editorial, Scientology. Okay. We looked nervously at each other, mounted the stairs and walked into the building. Bam, we were approached by a gorgeous 20 something guy with an English accent. Charming. We were offered cookies.

Ah, herbs. I think, but no other techniques were tried on us because one of our moms was parked outside with the engine running. I've always been grateful for this class as I was an idealistic kid who probably was vulnerable to cults. And the class gave me a real appreciation for Episcopal ministers as teachers and deep thinkers. Fast forward many years when newly single,

my friends insisted I meet this cute guy who also liked music hiking and travel. We hung out for a few weeks before he told me that not only was he finishing up an MBA, he was also getting a divinity degree. You guessed it, he was becoming an Episcopalian minister. Reader, I married him. Oh, I thought it was going to be an occult.

I was so nervous. Then he asked me for money and gave me a donut. He told me he had someone he wanted me to meet. And it was someone even hotter than him. Just as Reader, I married him, Ellen. And then it says, PS, thank you for doing your own kind of church over the past couple of years. Kind of marital. Take some Canadian Kit Kat. Why don't you? We're God's reheated people.

Good one. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown all are, we will be your resident not so expert experts.

Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you'd like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world,

listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Mm-hmm, okay, here's my last one. No, that's not true. Here's my second one. My co-workers, past. Hello, ladies. First off, thank you for doing God's work. Oh, there's God again. I have other compliments, but you've heard them all before, so let's get into it. So my co-worker, who I have known

for five years recently told me part of his life story. I am first going to give you an idea of this co-worker. He is hilarious, but gives zero flux about his job. He also never talks about his life. He has never spelled my name correctly. After having worked with him for three years, I found out he is a daughter, and I have the same name, but I digress. Last month, I was doing some work and decided to ask him about his parents. He said, well, my dad's dead, and my mom and stepdad are alive. He said, well, my dad's dead and my mom and stepdad are alive. I said, okay, where'd you grow up? He told me he was born in Detroit,

but his parents divorced shortly after he was born and his mom moved to Indiana. He then said, my dad was a real piece of shit though. My voice lowered and my tone changed and I asked him, was he abusive? He simply answered, oh no, he was a hitman. I immediately stopped typing, turned around the mouth open and said, excuse me. He tells me his dad was a hitman for the Italian mafia in Detroit in the 60s and 70s and did some really nasty shit. He obviously killed a lot of

people. He also had a lot of businesses that were used for money laundering so he was an entrepreneur. When he was growing up, he would go to be with his dad for the summer, but his dad would rent a house or put them up in a hotel because he didn't want to sign in his house in case someone came looking for him. Jesus. When they were out in public, they had to walk separately, and my coworker was to act like he didn't know his dad if anyone was talking to him. He also told me that he doesn't know, but heard some rumblings about his dad and Jimmy Hatha. You see, his mom worked at the restaurant that Hatha disappeared from.

Whoa. But who knows? After dropping this bomb on me, I asked him why he never told me this amazing information and he said, I guess I just don't care. So that wraps up my story. Thanks for all you do. Stay sexy and for God's sake,

actually read the results of the background check before you hire someone. Okay. I mean, that response of like, I think that's a, it feels to me, mm-hmm.

Like the kind of iron wall you would have to pull down. Yeah. To have a relationship like that. That's very difficult. Totally. To still have love for a parent who does bad things. Right. You know.

And maybe that parent is just a sociopath and that that is just how it is for that person. Yeah. We don't all spill our guts constantly after meeting someone immediately. Yeah, for real, like me. It's a great way to bond. It is.

Trauma. OK. The subject line of this email is, hole in the wall, Mexican restaurant addition. OK. OK. Which is just like, I guess we have had a bunch of different editions of the concepts of holes in the wall. That means. And this email starts girl.

Okay, so I have a hole in the wall story for you that had me pissing myself when I heard it the first time. Seriously, I went to the University of Pittsburgh, home of the failed infrastructure for real. Bridges burst into spontaneous flames, highways flood, 20 plus feet, so often that we've nicknamed it the bathtub, and a whole last public bus fell into a sinkhole in the middle of the city a couple years ago. Oh, shit.

And then it just says Google it. Ha, ha, ha. Google it is becoming one of my least favorite phrases that people say where it's like quit fucking telling me what to do. It's your story, but I don't I don't mean that to you dear writer. I'm just saying it. Anyway, is this story takes place in the middle of the college campus in the city? A couple who was out on their first date was walking back from their evening and happened to pass by all of the food and stores on the main street of the campus. As it was late

at night and nothing much was open, Homeboy had to figure out his own way of impressing his date and then after impressing there's like six question marks in parentheses. I guess the date wasn't going well because Dude decided he needed to do something brave and bold to show off to his new lady friend. Tell me why this man, All Caps, scaled the side of a three-story building, leaving his date on the sidewalk to watch. When you got to the top of the building, he thought it'd be cute and fun to show off his man's skills by All Caps, leaping from one roof to another.

No, what? Mm-hmm. Best part is the roof he was standing on was three stories, but the building he was trying to jump onto was four stories. So he either thought he was Superman and was going to be able to jump 10 feet in the air or he was shit-faced or he was just high as fuck. As I'm sure you figured out, he did not make it. Oh.

He fucking missed and fell between the buildings. Now, Pittsburgh is a pretty old city, so the buildings are pretty close together. So, so close, in fact, that there was virtually no space for this guy to get out from between the buildings once he fell. What the fuck? So, there he was, stuck between a begil shop

and a Mexican restaurant with about two feet of wiggle room and no way to escape. Oh my God, what an idiot. I mean, in a way, it's very lucky, because he could have fucking fallen four stories or three stories down at the ground. Yeah. With no other way out, his date had to call 911

to get this man. The, this is their first date. Oh my God. The fire department ended up having to break into the Mexican restaurant at 2am and bash a human-sized hole into the wall to get this dipshit out from between the buildings. Fucking dumbass. Okay, let's not pile on this guy. He was trying to have a good time. He obviously liked the person he was on the date with. Sure. I mean, right?

Yeah. Clearly, he was like, press somehow. Hey, hey, watch me, John. Watch me, watch me. They got him out after like four hours of careful wall ramming, sent him to the ER with minor injuries. I think I heard a rumor that he broke his foot or something. The bagel shop in the Mexican restaurant had to close the next day since there was a gigantich human

size toll in the middle of their restaurants. I know you're wondering, but no, the lovely couple did not stay together after that traumatic first date. I hope you enjoy this story as much as I did when I first heard about it. And then it just says 20-year-old men. Stay sexy and don't go on dates. Yeah. It says pee from Pittsburgh. Oh, wow. That is yeah. Yeah, that's too much. It's a lot. It's so much. That poor girl just standing there being like, as he stuck there, she's like, so how many brothers and sisters do you have? Okay, my real last one is hometown on fighting book bands and winning.

Yes. Sir Karen and Georgia, AKA good trouble. Here in New York, Pennsylvania, our school district band over 200 books from being included in classroom curriculum. After George Floyd's murder, teachers had asked for resources to talk to students about the horrific events. The Longstanding Diversity Committee developed resources of mostly books for all ages that enveloped diversity and inclusion. In turn, the all conservative school board banned the entire list from being used in curriculum until they could vet the materials. This included children's books like I Am Rosa Parks

and the story of Ruby Bridges. Over a year later, after none of the materials had even been vetted and through a student-led campaign, the community and students were able to get the ban lifted. The student organizers won national recognition from the King Center for their work and did various national and local media interviews. The children really are our future.

Well, there are still some ongoing issues with similar requests to band books. We are now vigilant and are a constant pushback on their racism, homophobia, and transphobia, which bubble up at literally every school board meeting. Yeah. You ask people to do what they can, speaking from experience,

that would be going to your school board meetings where these decisions are made, organizing like-minded parents, students, and community members to show up to the school board meetings and speak, and most importantly, voting. We were able to vote out the vice president of the school board that led the ban and overturn a few of the seats on the school board. The last seat available was filled by a former educator who understands the dangers of book banning and they won by just four votes over a person who was continually pushing for books to be banned. Every single vote makes a difference as does every single voice.

Any individual who gets involved locally will make a difference. Still fighting fascist asshats here in York, Amanda. That is such a great email. It is such a nice directive of here's action you can do. Yes. And it really is that thing of like, especially for like Gen-Axors and old people like myself, where we never had to take political action when we were young, ever. And most people didn't vote. And it was just like not part of our system.

It's so- So we thought it was like the grown-ups did it. Right. Exactly. Or people that were like polycymaid. Yes. And these days, and I think everybody is obviously becoming very hip to this because of social media

and everything else. It's like you absolutely have to get involved or you're essentially turning your cities and your libraries and all these things over to people who have been caught up in like a fascist propaganda where they're acting out of fear and basically being like take this all of the shelves because we don't want anybody being taught anything

that we don't approve of. Yeah, they're coming from a place of hate and of judgment and of... Or plain old fear. It's like Fox News just churns out fear. Others are dangerous. Others will hurt you. You better get preemptive

because others are doing this and that. And nobody's doing it based on, oh, I had this, I had an experience. And that experience tells me this about this group of people. It's all from the like isolation of their own homes. And someone who's mom is a perfect example of that. The things she spouts that she believes are so absurd and so deluded. It's impossible to get through to her a promise I've tried. So all I can do is vote to counteract her vote that she's going to definitely, definitely give at the polls. You know, she's definitely

going to vote. That means I definitely have to vote. Yeah, that's true. And also apparently trying to persuade people who are in a position like that, it doesn't work. Like the only thing that does work, which I think you do with your mom is like, you just keep the channel open as difficult as it can be for sometimes. It's like you just kind of like keep on reminding her like that what you're accepting as full for reality. I'm here to tell you you're wrong. Or I'm here to

tell you there's other things to consider besides that one psycho cable news channel. By the way, there's a thing going on, you have to pay for Fox News. So if that's something, and it's very expensive, their licensing fees are going up because of the dominion lawsuit. So if you don't want to pay for Fox News, call your cable company and tell them that because that is the one way, like, that this, this, this strangle holds that Fox News has on like, basically the senior citizens of this country. It, something can be done about it. Okay. Even though that was actually supposed to be about book banning and getting involved on a community level, but it's all, it's also scary. It's so fucked up. Yeah.

But here's what's not scary. And here's what's not fucked up. Is this last email? Okay. So we're going to end on a high note. Good. And of course, it takes place in New Zealand to the happiest

fucking country in the world. It's right. Perhaps. So I'm not going to read you the subject line. It just starts. Hi there. Just want'm not going to read you the subject line. It just starts, hi there. Just want to say thanks so much for all your stories. I've enjoyed listening to them while on long drives

in the middle of nowhere with no reception, hoping I'm not the next victim. And then there's a little smiley face. So here's one of my funny escapades. It's long but hopefully worth it. I was on a solo trip in New Zealand because my flaky friends all backed out at the last minute. My first stop was Wellington, the capital. The weather was gloomy and rainy and I decided the next day to take

a wine tour. The hotel offered to book it for me and gave me directions to the train station. I took the train, said little town, and when I got off the train there was chaos. Several wine tours were going on, and I got caught in the shuffle and didn't know where my tour was. Needless to say, a grumpy old man told me to get on the bus because there was a seat, so I did. This is where the fun begins. I was confused because all the people on the tour were Kiwis.

And then in parentheses it says New Zealanders. It's like, come on. We don't know if that's stupid. We've been there. We have been there. We have to show there. And they all knew each other. I thought, wow, this must be a good tour. All the locals around it.

My itinerary did not match the stops we were at. And I quietly whispered to an already drunk lady next to me. I think I'm on the wrong tour. She took a look at my itinerary and burst out laughing. Apparently there is a once a year private tour for restaurant owners and wine connoisseurs all over the country. That's a five star experience. Not my mediocre grade tour.

I was whining with the best of the best. They all embrace me as we continued in this five star experience, which included fine dining and sitting at private wineries with the owners. Oh, I've had $2,000 bottles of wine and two buck chuck. I wouldn't know the difference if my life depended on it. Nobody does or they know. I think two buck chuck like wins the top like award all the time and a blind taste test for the best of the best. It's like, it doesn't feel that or. No, it's all scam.

We played games, they gave me bags full of goodies and even took me out to eat at one of their restaurants. The wine critic even wrote about me and took pictures of me for his article. It was amazing. It's amazing. I finally got dropped off at my hotel around 10 o'clock at night as I strolled in from my full day of drinking and donning my new

t-shirt and hat carrying my bag full of goodies. The staff promptly ran up to me and one even yelled out, she's alive. Oh my god. Here's where the fun begins. When I failed to show up to my scheduled wine tour, they reached out to the hotel where I was staying, who let them know that they saw me walk to the train station and get on the train. At that point, I was not seen again until I returned night evening. Utterly confused, the hotel contacted authorities who then pulled surveillance and saw me get on petrol train and according to them, vanish into thin air. Oh my God. New Zealand knows how to look for people. I love that. Immediately. They sent out a search and rescue team to drive all

over looking for me. And there was no trace. They called my phone. But because I was abroad, my phone did not work unless I was on Wi-Fi. I had no idea any of this was going on all day. I promptly called the police when I arrived at my hotel to let them know I was alive and well. Everyone was relieved that it was just a huge mistake. Anyway, I had a great experience and shout out to the police department of New Zealand

for taking missing tourists seriously. It's one of my favorite places and hope to make it back one day. Stay sexy and don't get on the wrong tour bus in foreign countries or maybe do. Yeah. Shilpa, she, her. Oh my God, like I'm jealous in the deepest way.

What a cool adventure. What a cool thing. I feel like when you travel, yeah, when you travel alone, these experiences happen that wouldn't, you wouldn't, like if you were in the safety of your friend or your spouse or whatever, you wouldn't get into these really cool experiences the same way.

Yeah, there wouldn't, there wouldn't only be ones, like you wouldn't be able to take it, because there'd only be one seat. It's like you wouldn't be able to kind of go under the radar that way and then get into these things where they're like, we're not gonna kick her out, we're gonna have a great time with them. I love that.

I'm so happy for them. I love that. I'm so happy for them. So hilarious. Send us your solo travel stories too, how about? Oh yeah, that's good. Yeah. And thanks for sending all your stories to us. We enjoy them thoroughly.

Truly. Save your libraries, fight the bookbans, and stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Give up BYE! Elvis, do you want a cookie? AHHHH! This has been an exactly right production.

Our producer is Alejandra Keck, and this episode was engineered and mixed by Steven Ray Morris. Steven! Email your hometowns and fucking arrays to my favorite murder at gmail.com. Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at my favorite murder and Twitter at my fave murder. Goodbye!

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