My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - MFM Minisode 388
Episode Date: June 17, 2024This week’s hometowns include road tripping with friends and bartending on Halloween. Support this podcast by shopping our latest sponsor deals and promotions at this link: https://bit.ly/3UFCn1g ...Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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This is exactly right.
On the 12th season of Tenfold More Wicked,
we investigate a series of compelling mysteries from the city of Fall River,
Massachusetts, where problems started generations before Lizzie Borden's
murders made her a household name.
Join me as we cover the misfortunes that have befallen this infamous town
for more than 150 years, including the great fire of 1843.
Season 12 is out now on Exactly Right.
New episodes on Mondays.
Follow Tenfold More Wicked on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello. Hello. And welcome. And welcome. Yep.
To my favorite murder.
Right.
The mini-sode.
Yes, correct.
Okay.
Yeah, I think that was it.
Okay.
It felt okay.
I mean, it was a little bit of a shock.
I mean, it was a little bit of a shock.
I mean, it was a little bit of a shock.
I mean, it was a little bit of a shock.
I mean, it was a little bit of a shock.
I mean, it was a little bit of a shock.
I mean, it was a little bit of a shock.
I mean, it was a little bit of a shock.
I mean, it was a little bit of a shock.
I mean, it was a little bit of a shock.
I mean, it was a little bit of a shock.
I mean, it was a little bit of a shock. I mean, it was a little bit of a shock. I mean, it was a little bit of a shock. I mean, it was a little bit of my favorite murder. Right, the mini-sode.
Yes, correct.
Okay.
Yeah, I think that was it.
Okay.
It felt okay.
Why isn't this familiar ever?
It's always a new experience.
That is weird.
You'd think, I was like, well,
we haven't recorded in like two weeks,
but we've been doing it for eight,
almost eight and a half years.
So that doesn't.
That doesn't explain it.
And the lines aren't that hard.
No, they're not.
It's not confusing.
And it's literally just saying what we're doing anyways.
Anyways, I blank out every time for eight years. And welcome.
Welcome to the Minizote. We're videoing it for the fan call. You can see hands.
Oh yeah.
Do you want to see the one moment where our hair will be the closest matching to
each other? I think we're going, we're going in different directions right now.
Are you going shorter?
I'm going longer.
Oh, I'm not, this is not on purpose short.
This is a, oh, fuck short.
Are you going longer?
I'm just like, don't ever want to cut my hair again
because it just doesn't,
my fucking hairstylist moved to fucking Maine.
Uh-oh, really?
No, yes.
That sounds like a fib.
Uh-oh, like she's like, I don't want to go. Do you want to
work? I'm going to definitely move to Maine for sure. So. Okay. Want me to go first? Yeah,
you go first. Okay. My mom tried to make me lie for MFM mini-sodes. Hi, I'm Sam. A while back,
y'all asked for helping neighbor stories. I wanted to share my experience
in Hurricane Michael. I was attending college at the University of Florida when the panhandle
where my family lived and did not evacuate since the hurricane wasn't expected to be as strong as
it was, was hit by a gnarly hurricane. I wasn't able to reach my family because the hurricane
knocked out cell service. I was incredibly worried and lived five hours away.
I knew I couldn't drive up there to check on them because the roads would be flooded. I posted on my Snapchat story about how worried I was and that I hoped my friends back home were all
okay as well. Then one friend who lived about an hour away from my parents and still had cell
service offered to go check in on my parents for me. I'd gone two days without speaking to them,
and this message felt like it was sent by an angel.
Can you imagine not knowing?
Horrifying.
Like if there was an earthquake
and we can't get ahold of our family for two days.
And you're just sitting there waiting
and running the worst scenarios possible.
Yeah, no, that's so horrible.
Awful.
I'm not one to ask for favors,
as I'm very stubborn when it comes to help.
Hello.
Hello.
But I immediately took him up on his offer. I teased him in the past
for having a lifted truck that he didn't even go off-roading with, but now I couldn't be more
thankful for him and his truck. Hot monster trucks. He went to my address and checked in with my
family and let them use his cell phone to call me. They were okay. The roof was damaged and parts of
the house were flooded, but them and all of the pets were safe. Yay. PS, I asked my mama she had any true crime stories and she told me to then
said I should combine them into one story so it was more interesting so that y'all might read it
on the podcast. She's now a huge listener, which was unexpected as she's a devout Southern Baptist.
She's now a huge listener, which was unexpected as she's a devout Southern Baptist.
We have to get her name. Hi, come to this side.
Please, please get in here with us.
And even wears an MFM shirt around all the time.
It says Disney World stopped her at the gates and had to get approval from higher up to let her
in the park while wearing it.
Oh no.
We made it.
Oh no, and she was fighting for it. Hell yeah, thank you.
Thanks for the Rad Podcast. Laters, Sam. Sam's mom, we're so happy to have you. Shirley,
it's got to be Shirley. Her name is Shirley. Shirley, Debra. With an H. Debra with an H.
I've always been interested in this and the Lord. You can do both.
You can combine them.
It's more powerful that way. I wonder if we have, that's probably nothing close to her
accent.
Nope.
I wonder if we have any more of the stay saved and do God's missions Christmas sweatshirts.
That's right.
We have to bring that back.
Yeah.
Well, moms, Christian moms showing up.
Christian moms saying lie.
You should go lie.
Lie and be more interesting.
That's so funny where it's like,
um, I guess you can.
I mean, I'm sure people do.
OK, subject line, PSA.
I love this trend.
If we start getting PSA,
people actually come and tell us
their real life experiences with like scammers
so that you, your family, your grandparents will be aware of it in the future.
So it says, this email starts, hello to my two best friends following up on the PSA from
Minnesota 383.
My boyfriend's grandpa got a call from the local police station saying his grandson was
arrested and gave this number to get him bailed out.
I totally heard of this one before. It's so fucked up. Yeah.
They're messing with grandparents. Like the love of a grandparent to want to cover for
and bail out and help out a grandchild. Like that's a specific area of hell these people
are going to. Right, Deborah?
Deborah? Deborah, we're the
same that way. Tell Jesus. We would never, we would never. We would send this man.
Okay, the scammer had my boyfriend's name, his grandparents name, and said he
was calling from the area we live in. Luckily the scammer didn't know that
grandpa is a total cheapskate. He told that scammer, well, you better call the next person on the list and hung up.
Oh my fucking God.
I thought he was, oh my God, that's why he didn't get scammed is because he's like, fuck
you, rot in jail.
Yep.
He's like, you think I'm spending my money on that?
My hard earned money?
Grandma came in and asked what the call was about.
And he just told her Zach was arrested and needed money for bail.
She immediately called her daughter to ask what was going on,
who promptly called my boyfriend just to figure out it was all a scam.
Everyone still loves to poke fun at grandpa for caring more about money than
his grandson rotting in a jail cell.
Unreal.
Stay sexy and remember to be stingy sometimes, Rio.
Oh, that is fucking perfection.
Perfection, epic.
Like that's an epic grandpa move.
It's an epic grandpa move.
If you have any of those, please write in.
But also a true PSA that can help people where it's like, yeah, don't that weird bail thing
where they're like, you have give it us the money now In what world does the local PD?
Call out and be like we are we arrested your son. Yeah, we're gonna call you
No, no this is not the grandson's the one that's gonna call you with their one phone call, right?
Or yeah, just don't do it. Just don't just check everything twice
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Goodbye.
This is called my favorite Myrna.
Myrna, Myrna, M-Y-R-N-A, Myrna.
Or Myrna, I mean, I think there's, yeah.
It says I have a favorite Myrna and I'm so glad you asked.
Yes, did we ask for Myrna stories? I bet we did.
We bet we did. Myrna is one of my grandmother's best friends and I want to tell you about their
friendship. Buckle up for some real 1930s grandma names. This crew's name Myrna, Velma and Avaline.
What? Spell that one. It's O-V-A-L-I-N-E but it says pronounced
Avaline. Avaline. I've never heard that name.
Like Maybelline, but Ov-a-leen?
Nice.
If those aren't classic, I like embroidery
and have seen some shit in my day's names,
I don't know what are.
These ladies became friends with my gr-
when my grandma, Ov-a-leen, now 93,
was in her late 60s.
Velma and Myrna were a bit younger than Ov,
but they met through church and
became fast friends. They golfed together, played cards together, hosted one another and their
husbands for dinner parties, all of the things. They've seen each other through the death of each
of their husbands and their bond seems to grow tighter through each trial they pass together.
You're going to make lifelong friends in your 60s. Isn't that wild? That's right. You have gonna make lifelong friends in your sixties.
Yeah. Isn't that wild?
That's right.
You have no idea what's coming around the bend.
Absolutely.
My grandmother moved to the Raley, North Carolina area
to be near our family about 10 years ago,
moving away from her sweet Velma and Myrna.
But that hasn't stopped a thing.
Velma and Myrna pull a Thelma and Louise
every couple of years,
hopping in the car for a road trip to Rayleigh to hang out.
I don't think that's what you mean.
That's not what it is.
That is not what you...
That's not a...
Did you fall asleep every time
Thelma and Louise was on and not finish it?
They pulled a Thelma and Louise and they drive off a cliff
because Mirna's not there.
What are you doing?
Yeah. I think this person fell asleep
every time they watched Thelma and Louise. I think you doing? Yeah, I think this person fell asleep every time they watched
Thelma and Louise. I think they're just like road trips in general are two women in a car
means you're going to pull a Thelma and Louise. Yes, Dana. It's from Dana. Dana. Dana, no,
watch the whole movie. Dana, watch the whole movie. Okay, so here are a couple things I've
learned about friendship by observing these three over the last 30 years. One, just pick up where
you left off.
Love that.
It's who you're with that matters more than what you're doing.
Real friends know how to laugh and cry together.
Take the road trip, see your girlfriends, life moves fast.
Thanks for giving me a minute to gush about my grandma
and her girlfriends.
I hope to be 93 with friends the way she is.
Stay sexy and call your girlfriend today. Dana Sheher,
Carrie North Carolina. And then it says, PS,
I'm a listening since George's apartment murderino. Yeah.
And this podcast is one of my favorite little day in day out parts of my life.
I feel like we've been through a lot together. Thanks for being there.
Heart emoji. Dana, it was our pleasure.
Dana.
Dana, you were there for us too.
You were.
We're gonna drive out and see you,
not film in the WeStyle.
We're gonna drive off a cliff to see you, Dana, in heaven.
Dana, I can't wait to see you in heaven.
Dana, I swear to you, God, when I see you,
it's gonna be wonderful.
The day the pearly gates open up.
And we drive right through them.
Crash, crash through them.
We hold hands and drive.
Two old ladies pulling a thumb on Louise.
Oh my God.
Okay.
This says a truly bananas bartending story.
Ahoy, hoy.
And then in parentheses it says, a la Mr. Burns.
Oh, we know.
We know.
Oh, I love that.
These days I'm working as an elementary special education teacher, but I started out my working
life in the restaurant industry.
I worked in restaurants for 16 years and the majority of that time was spent behind the
bar.
I saw and experienced a lot of truly ridiculous shit during those years.
Once there was like a 20-ish person street brawl that all started with someone being denied a bud
light. That sounds like my family. Another time a man tried to light my hair on fire because I
unfairly told him he couldn't have a small torch out in the bar and he needed to get rid of it.
The town I worked in also hosted the largest motorcycle rally on the West
coast every year. Yeah.
Things could get wild and because the rally was so big,
we would end up having rival biker gangs in the bar at the same time.
Somewhat surprisingly though,
these gang members ended up being the best behaved patrons we would have,
even helping us keep the peace in the bar when random people would get out of hand.
As the saying goes, never look a gift horse in the mouth.
Wow.
Out of all of it though,
this is probably the most surreal thing
that I experienced while bartending.
It sounds like a weird dream, but it really did happen.
I was bartending on Halloween about nine-ish years ago,
and we had the requisite DJ and costume contest.
Things were going smoothly,
and when it was time to close the bar,
we turned up the lights and shoot everything out,
out the door to their Ubers and parties and whatever.
Just before we locked up, several police pulled up
to talk to us about an incident that happened nearby.
A man had been walking to a friend's house
and was randomly attacked by a stranger.
He had been stabbed several times in the torso,
and the attacker ran away, leaving the man bleeding in the grass. A short distance
away the attacker peeled off his costume and left it in a heap, covered in the
man's blood. It was a banana costume. When the police spoke with our bouncer and
described the costume to him, he surprised the shit out of us by
remembering checking the man's ID and recalling the man's
full name and date of birth.
Oh my God.
Hot doorman action.
The police came in to speak to everyone bartending and we were able to confirm that the same
man our bouncer had ID'd had come in wearing a banana costume. The only problem was that
there were three different bananas in the bar that night. I had to write a police statement
saying it was not the peeled banana or the Chiquita banana, but the man wearing the
unlabeled and unpeeled banana. What? Generic banana. Generic unpeeled. The most unsettling part of all
this was that the dangerous banana man had become somewhat of a regular over the last few months.
None of us ever got a weird vibe off of him and he came in almost every day.
Once on a really slow night,
I was supposed to have a football game on the big screen,
but it was just me and the guy in the bar.
So I changed the channel to Bob's Burgers
and we shared a plate of nachos while I closed.
Nobody noticed anything off about him at all
until his mugshot was released the next day.
In that picture, you could actually see
the black dead psychopath eyes that people talk about.
It was chilling.
The man who was attacked ended up making a full recovery
and thanks to our bouncer,
the attacker was arrested the same night.
Stay sexy and remember that no matter how normal
they might seem, there still might be a big rotten banana
hiding in the bunch, Lindsay, she, her.
Wow. That's terrifying. Also just that idea of like, somebody that's a good time guy to that degree. He's like, I'll dress like a banana. I love having fun. I'm all about it. And then like
just snaps and turns. I mean, the idea of like, you're getting ready that night and you're like,
I'm going to dress like a banana and I'm going to mug someone and stab them tonight.
Like he had to know he was going to do both of those things.
And that's crazy.
Did he? Or he took a weird drug.
I mean, or he had like a break, a psychotic break.
I mean, what happened?
There's like, that's like one quarter of the story.
Yeah.
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Goodbye.
Okay, this last one's really short.
I guess we asked for have you ever won anything?
Oh, just in general, just stories where you won something.
Okay.
So this is the only thing I've ever won.
I love you both immensely. I'm going to keep this snappy.
In 2011, I won a Twitter limerick contest
sponsored by a condom company.
The instructions, write a limerick about safe sex.
The prize, a year's supply of condoms.
This was my submission.
There was once a beautiful lady met a gentleman
who was quite shady.
She used a rubber when meeting her lover
and now she's not having his baby.
Wonderful.
Maybe we asked about limericks.
I doubt it.
Yeah, winning stuff.
They sent me 400 condoms in the mail.
You deserve it.
I'm allergic to latex.
Thanks for the laughs and the tears and the comfort, Eleanor.
Oh, Eleanor, such is life.
Wow.
Eleanor is like, I thought I was going to get to pick the, okay, that's fine.
Here's my last one.
The subject line says, runaway cow.
And then it says, hi, I feel like I need to start by announcing myself as a day one listener.
And then it says trademark in parentheses, because you guys have the best reactions to
those.
I love that we should make a merch that says day one listener.
For sure.
Yeah.
Then it says in the words of Roz Hernandez, on with the show.
After getting my facts straight with my family, I think this story takes place in 1972.
My mom grew up on a small farm in New York's Hudson Valley with her extended family, mostly
immigrants from Italy.
Her dad was tough and traditional.
He hated most technology and nothing made him madder than when the phone would ring
during dinner.
My mom was like that too.
She'd always be like, tell them we're eating dinner.
Or it's like, yeah, I will.
What, I know.
Who's calling during dinner?
How would they know what time you eat dinner?
Like, yeah, some people don't give a shit.
It's not that big of a deal.
Obviously this next part of the story
is the phone ringing during dinner because,
and then it says foreshadowing, because colon foreshadowing. My eight-year-old
mother is told to answer the phone and tell them not to call back. She does as she's told.
So back then her dad was like, you made the mistake of calling during dinner. Now you
can never call here again. Yeah. Okay. Very intense Italians. She does as she's told,
not letting the caller get a word in edgewise.
This happens a few more times and my mother repeats the same steps.
She lifts the receiver, sternly says to stop calling and quickly hangs up.
A few minutes later, the police arrive.
They explain that they've been trying to reach my grandfather, but a child keeps hanging
up on them.
Apparently, one of my grandpa's cows had gotten loose and was blocking traffic in both directions
on the mid Hudson Bridge.
I'm glad it wasn't like a horrible thing, but wow.
It was pretty disruptive.
In the end, my grandfather was able to coax the cow off the bridge and small town culture
ensured that the story would live on forever.
When I was in high school, we had a local historian visit one of our classes
and she was asking people their last names
and talking about how those families
were part of our local history.
I told her mine and she told me two things.
One, I remember when your grandpa's cow
blocked all the traffic on the bridge.
And two, my great grandparents were first cousins
and had an arranged marriage
because their parents wanted to keep the money
in the family.
And then in parentheses it says, I graduated high school 20 years ago and my friends still
talk about that one.
Yeah. Oh my God.
P.S. Here's what I love. The P.S. comes before the end of the email.
Okay.
P.S. I tried to get the name of the cow, but no one can remember. My aunt thinks her name
was Dot. My mom says our family would never name a cow Dot
because they had an aunt Dot.
My aunt says that's exactly the kind of thing
our family would do.
Stay sexy and answer the phone sometimes.
Mikey him.
Oh my God.
That is so embarrassing to tell in front of your entire
class that your grandparents or great grandparents
were cousins.
Oh my God.
Keep it to yourself.
Also, you're a historian, but are you just the town gossip?
Because it's like, oh, so I'm supposed to say my last name so you can be like, oh, pretty
much everyone's either been mentally ill or an alcoholic.
Right.
Guess what?
Yeah, totally.
You guys have been pretty serious losers around here for quite some time.
Let me tell you about what happened before the internet.
Okay.
Was that it?
I think that's it.
Okay.
If you guys want to hear one more story each there in the fan cult.
And so is Georgia and I on video doing all of this, my face just slowly getting red for no reason.
I can't tell.
I think it's the laughing.
Thanks for listening.
Stay sexy.
And don't get murdered. Thanks for listening. Stay sexy.
And don't get murdered.
Goodbye.
Elvis, do you want a cookie?
This has been an Exactly Right production.
Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck.
Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.
This episode was mixed by Liana Squillacci.
Email your hometowns to MyFavoriteMurder at gmail.com.
And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and on Twitter at MyFaveMurder.
Goodbye!