My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - MFM Minisode 398

Episode Date: August 26, 2024

This week’s hometowns include a badass grandma named Juanita and sneaking into a parade procession. Support this podcast by shopping our latest sponsor deals and promotions at this link: https://bit.ly/3UFCn1g Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hello. And welcome. To my favorite murder. The mini-sode. Where we read you your stories. Do you like emails? Want to go first? Sure.

Guys, it's Friday. We're recording this on Friday. With video. You like emails? You want to go first? Sure. Guys, it's Friday. We're recording this on Friday. With video, so we have to actually put makeup on. Yeah. It's exhausting, this job. Oh God, it's hard. Okay.

Oh, the subject light of my first email is, teenage cashier saves the day. Hello. I feel like the cute greeting sentences have been done to death. And there it is. Back in the late 90s, I was the mother of two small children ages 15 months and two years. My husband was a manager in retail and worked very long hours. He'd leave for work before sunup and wouldn't get home until the children were in bed.

It was usually just me and my little ones taking on the world. She don't even have Instagram to distract her once in a while. Can you imagine? Right, because it's the late 90s. It was like her and Jerry Springer doing their best. One scorching day in Houston, we were out running errands. I stopped at a gas station to get us drinks. As was usual at that time, my brain wasn't always functioning on all cylinders. Hello, welcome. Toddler's exhaustion and undiagnosed anxiety and ADD had me rattled most of the time. I pulled into a parking space in front of the building, jumped out of my van, and walked around to the sliding door to get the kids out. I was frustrated that the door didn't

open when I pulled on the handle, thinking the lock must not have disengaged. I trekked back to the open when I pulled on the handle, thinking the lock must not have been disengaged. I trekked back to the driver's door to push the unlock button, and it wouldn't open either. I had left my keys in the van and locked my kids in. Now I know what you're thinking. And this is in quotes. Kids locked in a hot car on a scorching day. Don't fret. I hadn't only forgotten my keys in the van, they were still in the ignition and the engine was still running.

I had failed to even turn off the car. So even though I wasn't worried about the heat, I was still panicking. Yep, thank God the car was still running. Seriously. My 15 month old was asleep, so he was no help. But my two year old was awake and staring at me through the window. Oh my God. Oh my God. They're two. Like there's no, there's not even a five

year old to communicate with. True babies. I tried to get her to unlock the door like she was going to unbuckle her harness, throw off the straps of her car seat and jump to the rescue. No luck. I went into the store and tried to explain to the teenage boy behind the counter what happened. Before I could finish my explanation and without saying a word, the boy ran from behind the counter, past me, and out the door. I watched him run to a van yelling. The driver had just got in behind the wheel and was pulling away from the pump. My brain couldn't comprehend what was happening until I saw what was written on the side of the van. Locksmith. Yes!

Yes. This kid had noticed the locksmith van at the pump and sprung into action when I came in panicking. He was able to stop the vehicle and the lovely young locksmith unlocked my van free of charge. Looking back, I know my kids weren't in danger, but that teenage boy and young locksmith were both heroes Thanks for reading my story stay sexy and maybe put down your phone and pay attention to what's going on around you You just might be someone's hero Vicky. I love that. I love that. So beautiful

Karen concern. Oh my god. Try it Who am I talking to? Give it a whirl. Not reading you the subject. Hi, Karen and Georgia. I'll get right to it. My grandma Juanita was an OG murderer. Now she and my grandpa Emilio live next door to us for most of my childhood and helped raise me. We would watch Jeopardy and Law and Order SVU every night. Now that I'm older, I realized that I was way too young to be watching Law and Order at nine years old and SVU, which is like double hardcore. It's very not a good idea for a nine year old. But what can I say? That show has been on for 26 seasons for a reason. That's right. My grandma

passed away recently, but lived well into her nins. She was a badass farmer whose weapon of choice was a shovel. She was known to have cut down a wasps nest without protection and killed a rattlesnake. Holy shit. I'm so happy that I grew up next door to her because she influences my choices to this day. But let's get to why I wrote this email. In California middle school in the early 2000s, I took the US Constitution test. If you got more than 90%, you got to go to Outback Steakhouse.

And it's got two little stars around Outback Steakhouse. Special. Where they would have a little ceremony and give you a certificate. They obviously got 90% because it says, I remember there was an attorney who seemed to be important who took pictures with us and gave a speech. At the end of his speech, he opened the floor to questions. Being that I watched Law and Order SVU so much, I felt like I knew a thing or two about the court system, but was confused about some aspects of the charges laid against people

in the show. Oh no. So I raised my hand and asked, what is the difference between murder one and murder two. That man's face was burned into my memory because he looked horrified slash confused slash amused and then said, next question. Years later I thought this was all a weird made-up memory but one night in an insomnia induced Wikipedia binge I was looking at political officials as you do., it's very comforting. And I realized that the important attorney from Outback

was the California attorney general at the time. What? If I ever had the chance to meet again, I would like him to know that I was not a biting murderer and instead went the opposite direction. I'm a geriatrician who saw the injustices in medicine that occurred with my grandparents and decided I want to correct them.

Wow. Shout out to my sister who recommended this podcast to me when I was in medical school. You ladies got me through my residency where I did ICU night shifts during the pandemic. Oh my God. Thank you. No chill there.

I mean, also intense bravery. We all claimed our pots and pans. But again and again, everyone should be thanking those essential workers that truly, when we thought we don't know what's happening out there, they're like, anyway, bye. We're going to go take care of some stuff. I'm going to work overnight.

Goodbye. I came out relatively unscathed, except for a touch of PTSD. Stay sexy and don't ask the California attorney general about the nuances of murder charges. LP she her. LP. I think that sign off should have been and definitely ask any attorney anytime you're around them any questions that you want. I mean, while we're here, we should probably recommend if you don't know, we have a Law and Order SVU podcast. That's right.

Called That's Messed Up. And if you love Law & Order, you should listen to it because it's really good. It's so good. And they book the actors from Law & Order. And they interview them. It's fucking crazy. It's the greatest. You know, Georgia, I pride myself on being a great listener just not to other people. I'm the same. Why listen to people when you can listen to your favorite stories and podcasts with Audible? I'm sorry, were you saying something? With thousands of titles released each year, Audible has the best selection of audiobooks,

along with popular podcasts and exclusive Audible originals, and it's all in one easy-to-use app. Enjoy Audible any time. Even when you're doing other things like chores, travel, ignoring your family, it's up to you. You'll find endless inspiration and entertainment without needing to set aside extra time. Check out the Audible original, Death by Unknown Event. For years, Vancouver nurse Cindy James endured relentless harassment.

Despite extensive police investigation, there was no evidence of foul play until her death in 1989. Follow the captivating true story only on Audible. You guys, I covered Cindy James on episode 109 of this very podcast, so check that out, too. But in the meantime, Karen, what audiobook are you listening to right now? Well, I'm still listening to the Rick Rubin creative act, A Way of Being.

His advice is so good, it's borderline self-help. So it's a real, like, rewind and listen to that statement again. Ooh, love it. I'm actually listening to a memoir as well It's called men have called her crazy by Anna Marie Tendler and it is triggering me and I love it There's more to imagine when you listen new members can try audible now free for 30 days with your first audiobook included Is it audible.com slash murder or text murder to 500 500 that's audible.com slash murder or text murder to 500 500. That's audible.com slash murder or text murder to 500 500 to try audible free for 30 days. audible.com

slash murder. Goodbye. Georgia did you know that adding like a pinch of salt to your coffee grounds before brewing reduces bitterness and can enhance the flavor of your coffee? I know this is scripted but I actually didn't know that. I really didn't and I you know I love learning new things. Well, if you're a MasterClass member, then you can learn skills to develop your career, learn something new, or make better coffee. With MasterClass, you can learn from the best to become your best. MasterClass is the only streaming platform where you'll have access to over 200 experts

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OK, I'm going to do that while I'm doing Simone Biles' class about gymnastic fundamentals. I'm going to drink a do that while I'm doing Simone Biles class about gymnastic fundamentals. I'm going to drink a bunch of coffee and then do Simone Biles teaching gymnastics. Right now our listeners will get an additional 15% off any annual membership at masterclass.com slash MFM. That's 15% off at masterclass.com slash MFM. Masterclass.com slash MFM. Goodbye.

Okay, so this email starts, hello there. I'm currently listening to a hometown episode in which Karen talks about her father narrating parades and stated that it would be so easy to just sneak in and join the procession. Well I'm here to tell you that it can be done and with style to boot. Oh no. Imagine this. It's the early aughts and you're at a Memorial Day parade in a small Wisconsin city.

You're watching the usual groups and floats go by, high school marching bands, various armed forces battalions, fire trucks complete with firefighters throwing candy to the hordes of children, et cetera, et cetera. Suddenly you come to behold a very strange sight indeed. A 1981 white Chevy Camaro towing a vintage yellow trailer from the 60s. In the trailer are two life-sized cardboard cutouts, one of former President Bill Clinton playing a saxophone, and the other of esteemed former Green Bay Packers coach Mike Holmgren. There are spray painted signs on the side of the trailer stating, God bless America and the Fresh Air Brigade.

The song Hot Barbecue by brother Jack McDuff plays loudly on repeat from a large speaker. Red white and blue streamers fly from the back of the trailer. It is Memorial Day after all. The Fresh Air Brigade themselves, AKA my brother and one of his friends, are writing in the Camaro and throwing Taco Bell hot sauce packets to all the eagerly awaiting kids. Hot sauce packets. People are like, yay, they're throwing something and then they catch it and then like, I guess we'll put these in that drawer that we have. Some little six-year-old opens it up and Let's put these in that drawer that we have. Some little six-year-old opens it up and just starts crying.

Yes, that's right. My at the time 16-year-old brother just pulled into the parade lineup near the start and no one stopped them throughout the entire 1.8 mile route. They never got into trouble afterward either, except for getting, quote, yelled at pretty severely by one of our teachers the next day, despite her having no real authority on what happens during a parade. Yeah. My brother's one of the funniest people I know and this stunt will forever go down in our families and probably our town's history as one of the greatest weirdest things to ever happen at a parade. Stay sexy and think outside the bun. Sam Scheer. And then it says, P.S. pick or it didn't happen.

And we have a fucking pick of this. Oh my God, there's a photo of the fucking, God bless the USA. Oh, this is way shittier than I even imagined it looked. Right. Because the trailer that she's talking about is the cut off back half of an old Chevy truck. I thought it was like a, you know, a little streamlined air trailer and I didn't get it, but this is just the like the cutoff back of a truck and a Camaro and a badass Camaro. And the God bless USA is spray painted in black paint on like a piece of cardboard. Yeah. And if so, was the fresh air.

Brigade. Oh my my god I love this. What do you think the fresh air brigade was referencing like farting because of Taco Bell? Oh maybe. But then maybe nothing. Yeah maybe it's just random and these guys love to smoke pot. Wow I love this picture so much. Maybe one of their parents was like you need to get out of the house and get some fresh air and so like okay and then they're like here's what you fucking get. Yeah, fine. We'll join a parade then. Okay.

Here's my second one. I'm not going to read the subject and it just starts, hello, Alejandra. You're looking beautiful today. Alejandra, of course, picks our hometowns. So, yeah. And she picked this one because you can manipulate Alejandra about her appearance. I actually picked this one myself, so Alejandra's off the hook. She probably would have deleted it. She's modest. She's incredibly modest, almost none like. That's right. So I am officially saying, Alejandra, you look beautiful today.

You do. Thank you. Okay, pre-pandemic listener, which I think qualifies as long ass time, fourth time writer, first time my story is being read on the pod. Because you got to manifest that shit, right? And you did. Manifesting works. I'll preface this by saying that I mean no disrespect to the elder population, but the woman this story is about was a cuckoo loco. And for the good of humanity, I will not be silent about that. I grew up so Mormon that when I was 21 years old, I went on a mission to preach the sweet gospel of JC. In one of the cities I lived in, my companion and I taught an 87-year-old named Darlene,

name changed. Darlene lived in a single wide mobile home. She was legally blind and had two cloudy eyes that drifted off to separate sides at all times. She was perpetually dressed in a floral muumuu, and I'm here to say, no shade. Us too. And she was extremely opinionated and frequently interrupted our church lessons by inserting

what she thought the church's rules should be instead. Hell yes. As go off queen. For God knows what reason, Darlene decided to get baptized. We set up a meeting with our district leader, a male missionary who was in charge of other missionaries, which took place on a Saturday morning. Side note, in the LDS church, anyone who chooses to be baptized has to have an interview with the priesthood leader where they answer such questions as one, do you believe the Book of Mormon is the Word of God?

Two, do you believe Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, etc. I'm sure it's multiple choice, right? D, C. Our district leader told us that Darlene answered all the questions correctly, so she was good to move forward with her baptism scheduled for later that afternoon. He then told us that there was one thing during the interview that made him laugh. When asked if she had repented all of her sins, Darlene said, yes, well, there is one big one and drifted off. But our district leader, being 19, didn't find this reason enough to inquire further. He ended the interview and Darlene was baptized a few hours later. The next morning, we arrived at church for Darlene's confirmation, a blessing where

the newly baptized person receives the gift of the Holy Ghost and is confirmed a member of the LDS church. However, Darlene was nowhere to be seen. The church meeting proceeded as scheduled, no Darlene, after the service we went to our bishop to ask if he knew anything about where she might be." And I bet they get points for each person they recruit and they're like, where's our girl? Yeah, for sure. We want God's point. That's the whole point of a mission. So it's like, you're not going to lose that at the at the 11th hour. No, I need that gold star from Jesus. Jesus, please watch this. He says, quote, Oh, I have meaning to tell you ladies, Darlene is in jail. She was arrested for arson. And that face that you're making right now,

that O face, there's literally a emoji, not even emoji, just like a little two dots and an O. It looks exactly like your face. I did the match of like, oh. Here's what happened. On that Saturday morning before her interview, yes, the same interview where she admitted that there was one big thing she had not repented to, Darlene's trailer caught on fire and was burnt to a crisp. Everything inside was ruined. At first, authorities wondered if this was an accident, blind old lady living alone and everything. But then they discovered that the night before the fire Darlene had moved all of her valuables to a separate storage shed. She was convicted

of arson and spent a few weeks in jail. But hey, at least she got that baptism in so she could be forgiven all of her sins. Thank you so much for doing this podcast. I'm 32 and often find myself extremely anxious But hey, at least she got that baptism in so she could be forgiven all of her sins. Thank you so much for doing this podcast. I'm 32 and often find myself extremely anxious that I haven't achieved my life dreams yet. Can you fucking imagine? Please don't even. You're just starting life. You're just starting. When you feel that way, go to the movies.

When you feel that way, go do something outside. And then it says, then I remember it's OK, Georgia was 35 when she started my favorite murder. It says, sorry, Karen, I can't remember how old you were. If Georgia was 35, I was 45. That's right. But for real, you remind me that it's never too late to start doing what you love. And I thought 35 was so old.

Now it's not. You're still fine not knowing what you're going to do in your 30s and 40s and just doing what pays the bills until you find something you love. Also, Georgia and I, for this thing, it's not like we had some plan. It's not like we were like, we have to sit down and figure out the way. It's like, you just try and you try and you try and try again. And you do stuff and it's fucked up and you think it's all ruined. And then you do another thing. They're like, Oh, that'll be fun. she and I'll do. And then suddenly you're like standing in front of 3000 people

who are screaming at the top of your lungs. Yes, everyone goes at a different pace and that's totally fine. Yeah. Do you? It's not high school. There's no contest. People aren't tracking you. They're worried about themselves.

Stay sexy and burn the house down while you have the chance. You can always have your sins washed away later. Bronwyn, she her. Bronwyn, I'm sorry we lectured you so much, but it's really fun. And anytime anyone young expresses those things, it's like, please listen to us. We are. I've lived for over half a century, which is still mind boggling to me. I always think like, okay, I'm hoping to live to be like 86 or so. That means I'm like halfway done. I mean, there's so much more fucking time to do the things. 32 is like not even halfway done yet.

For real. You've got time. And 32, you should know that you're assuming that people are judging you like, oh, you haven't done anything. When most people are like, oh, look at Bronwyn's skin. Look at Bronwyn's overall youth. God, I wish I had that.

Like, truly don't understand. Yeah. Wear SPF and have fun. And I could highly recommend Korean skincare. Karen, what would you say if I told you that the average person spends 10 hours sitting? I guess I'd say I hope everyone has a good couch. Well, if you spend time sitting, why not do it in style? And that is where Articl comes in.

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With its plump, loose cushions and sizable seating, you might have have to cancel your plans and we mean all of your plans forever. We like it plump and loose over here. That's how we do business. It seems like when they come out with stuff you're not just going oh here's where I can get some furniture that's affordable but it's like I can also learn what the coolest thing is right now. Yeah and have it look super classy. So Artikl is now offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit article.com slash murder and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout.

That's a-r-t-i-c-l-e dot com slash murder to get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. Goodbye. Okay, the subject line of my last email is, all caps, vibes! And a sixth sense, sort of. Happy Monday to you all. Today in Minisode 393, you asked if anyone had stories about people who had sort of accurate vibes when meeting someone good or bad.

And my daughter is one of those people. What if she had bad vibes when she met her daughter? The nurse puts the baby on her chest and she's like, oh, this isn't gonna work. When Erin was just 15 months old, she would connect strongly with so many people. She'd smile and clap her hands with glee to almost anyone she'd meet or sit next to in a restaurant or out shopping.

You get the point. She could just tell who the good people were in her little world. Most were all good, of course. Then one day my old college roommate came over with her new boyfriend. She wanted us to meet her latest love interest. And Aaron took one look at him and screamed bloody murder. Literally one look and she lost it. My hubby and I were like, this is so odd. She's never done this before She must need a nap and then in all caps it says nope. He was a bad dude It took my friend a few years to figure it out But she discovered that he was a liar a cheat and drove her to bankruptcy

Oh my god If only we had trusted Aaron's vibes a A few years later, and then in parentheses it says, I know you'll find this fascinating. Aaron gave us a huge gift on the morning after my dad passed away. He had lived with Parkinson's disease for 25 years, and she only knew her papa as basically the special guy we visited at the long-term care facility, who was confined to a wheelchair with limited verbal abilities. So that morning when we were obviously so sad, she burst out of her room, she was five at the time, to make the announcement that, quote, Papa came to me last night.

He's good. He's chasing birds and making snow angels. Oh my God. He's chasing birds. And making like things that you have to do with limbs specifically. Yes. He's using his body. Yeah.

And then it just says, well, goosebumps. We absolutely knew she was telling the truth. He chose her to visit, I think, because he knew that she was open to receiving his message to all of us. He was a bird nerd and loved the weather slash four seasons we have here in Minnesota. So her announcement made perfect sense. Oh my God. I know. What a gift. She changed our perspective on that sad day and helped us feel grateful for our time with him on earth and put a smile on our faces imagining how he was now able to run and be free. Oh my God. I don't cry. I know.

Ever. I'm about to cry. You will now. This is the closest I think I've ever been. Oh my god. You'll get there. Aaron's vibes continue to steer her away from the creeps of the world and keep the good ones close. Stay sexy and listen to your kiddos. They might have good intel and either save you from disaster or bring you an unexpected blessing. Melissa. That is so special. Yeah. Oh my god. There's more going on. There's more going on than we know. That's really Expected blessing Melissa that is so special. Yeah There's more going on there's more going on than we know that's really beautiful If you want to join the fan cult, you can see Georgia almost crying We just get an influx we've never gotten this one This is the content people are absolutely starving for

Okay, no, it looks like shit. Okay, my last one is just an MFM cute story. OG listener from 2016 is the subject line. Oh, God, it's quickie. I'm an OG listener and met you both at the Fort Lauderdale show in 2016 with my now ex, a first responder who had the lion encounter in the 80s, which you read out on hometown 34 or 37. Remember that?

Yes, yes I do. Fort Lauderdale, that Remember that? Yes. Yes, I do. Fort Lauderdale. That was a fun show. Yes. It was such a cool theater. Remember it was kind of like carpeting on the walls, kind of, it felt like... Yeah. Like at a middle school auditorium or something. It was cool. I was listening to an episode 438 about the Zodiac Killer copycat. That's the one I did in New York. On the way to pick up my elderly mother to take her to Target. She doesn't like talk radio.

So I turned it off when she got into my car. I don't like talk radio. I agree with her. We arrive and she's quietly watching me piece together her mobility scooter. And out of nowhere, she says, I thought they didn't catch the Zodiac Killer taken aback at her timing of topic, I thought they didn't catch the Zodiac Killer. Taken aback at her timing of topic, I said they didn't. Then she says, quote,

so this guy was a copycat? She said weirdly, and I asked, how are you hearing my podcast? I turned it off. She said, quote, I can hear it in my hearing aids, clear as hell. No, no, no, I'm sorry, clear as a bell. Wish it was clear as hell.

Clear as hell. Turns out her Bluetooth hearing aids, which run from an app on my phone, was picking up MFM because I'd only muted it, not turned it off. How fucking cool is that? So sorry, so sorry, ma'am. But she didn't say anything. She just kept listening and then was like, maybe I do like talk radio. This is the talk radio that she never encountered before. That's right. SSTGM and turn off. Don't mute, Linda.

Linda, that's amazing. We won over anyone over someone who doesn't like this. Yeah. Hey, welcome to the fold. What is that? Tell us your stories about your six senses and... I like hearing about people that we've met before. Yeah. Remember I met you and da da da, because there are so many people I remember from those meetings. You remember fucking everyone. And then you give me some weird tidbit of information that I'm like, oh yeah, I remember

that too. Still never forget the two girls that brought their grandma busted her out of the, I think we were in Iowa or Cedar Rapids or... Was it? No. Still, never forget the two girls that brought their grandma busted her out of the, I think we were in Iowa or Cedar Rapids or... Was it? No. It was somewhere super Midwest. Yeah.

And they were like, we got grandma out of the nursing home to bring her to this. It was like 10 o'clock at night or something. And she was a super OG original murderino. And then she started telling us about a case she went to and was at the jury every day. That's right. Amazing. I love this job. Tell us your stories. Tell us your OG murderino grandma stories. Oh my God, Georgia, my sweatpants are on backwards. I just tried to reach into my pocket and my

pockets are going the other way. Stand up and show the fan call. Your backwards sweatpants. Come on. You have to do it. Oh my god Now you can grab your own butt whenever you want. Thank God that's so comforting Jesus Christ amazing. Thanks for listening. Yes. We love you. Stay sexy and don't get murdered Elvis do you want a cookie? This has been an Exactly Right production. Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck. Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

This episode was mixed by Liana Squillace. Email your hometowns to MyFavoriteMurder at gmail.com. And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My FavoriteavoriteMurder and on Twitter at MyFaveMurder Goodbye!