My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - MFM Minisode 404

Episode Date: October 7, 2024

This week’s hometowns include a tricky dog and a haunted movie theater. Support this podcast by shopping our latest sponsor deals and promotions at this link: https://bit.ly/3UFCn1g. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Never fear, we'll be back soon with the beautiful sound quality you have come to expect from us. My favorite murder Hello! And welcome. My favorite murder. The mini-sode. We'll read you your fucking stories. I've told you that before. Do you know this or are you brand new?

You want to go first? Sure. Okay, this sub-declined of this email is It's a twofer in all caps. It's a twofer. Shitty neighbor story and what am I even doing right now? Nice. Hello to the voices of the angel and devil on my shoulder. You know who is who.

And then it's an emoji with the winky face. Oh my god, I love that. Now put yourself in my shoes. You move into a new house in elementary school. You are exploring the backyard while your dad and uncles are screaming about how to move the couch into the house. All is bliss. When you wander behind the garage, you would probably think, oh, maybe there's a weed plant. Oh, how you'd be wrong. In our neighbor's yard was a 12 foot guillotine and then in parentheses It says I had to Google how to spell that

Gui l am I right sir. Yes, you are Gui ll yep. I T I any ETI any o t I any So close. So close. You should have asked me to use it in a sentence. Okay. Anyway, yes. A giant wooden guillotine with this massive shining blade staring at me.

Now, I don't know what it was exactly. I was in like fifth grade. But I knew a giant blade when I saw one. I ran to my mom and dragged her and the lamp she was carrying to see the device. I remember the distinct, what the fuck, leaving her mouth. She proceeded to call the police. When the police came, they took our story. Then they went over to the neighbors.

Mind you, we were just moving in and have even yet to meet these people. And you called the cops on them. fucking narco. Yeah, just immediately. Our sweet neighbors came over giggling in all caps carrying the giant blade. They proceeded to tell us the neighborhood is really big on Halloween and showed us the cardboard blade covered in silver duct tape.

The guillotine was a fake Halloween decoration and because of its size, it didn't fit in their garage. That following Halloween, when I went trick-or-treating, I went up to the man and proudly reminded him I tried to get him arrested. My parents still live there today. The neighbors have since moved out and I hope wherever they are now, they warn their new neighbors about what's to come each spooky season. Now what do I do while I listen to your lovely giggles?

I am a costume designer for theater productions. The most recent script I received mentioned MFN by name. What? Are we in Les Miserables? Oh, wait, are we in Revolutionary France? That's crazy. Actually, they tell us it's about a young girl trying to prove her father's

innocence. I smile every time I hear that line. Yay! Anyway, ask STGM and warn your neighbors about the medieval killing equipment, Maya. Wow, Maya. That's a nice one to kick it off. That has all the elements we need. It does. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, good one. This one's a classic, almost kidnapping story. Hi everyone. I grew up in a neighborhood where it wasn't uncommon to see SWAT teams shutting down our block to bust meth houses.

Oh. My story takes place about 20 years ago when I was around five years old. One day while I was playing in the front yard by myself, a woman I had never seen before approached me. She told me she had lost her cat and asked if I had seen it running around the neighborhood. I said, I hadn't.

And then she asked if I would help her search for the cat. She extended her hand and asked me to follow her to her car saying that her son was driving and we would sit in the back seat to look out the windows, which would be faster. Like fucking what the fuck? Classic. Yeah, just nightmarish. But like as a child, you're just like, of course, I'm going to of course I'm going to help you.

She says as I started to reach out to her, I suddenly thought I should check with my mom before getting in the car with a stranger. I pulled my hand back and told the woman, I need to tell my mom first, but then I can go. I ran inside to ask permission. My mom, understandably alarmed, ran outside to confront the woman, but by the time she got there, the woman and the car were gone. I remember being upset that the woman had left without me

and begged my mom to let me leave a bowl of milk out for the lost cat. It wasn't until much later that my mom told me there was probably no cat and that I had narrowly escaped being kidnapped. I'm grateful that my five-year-old self knew enough to seek my mom's permission before getting in the car with a stranger who knows what could have happened otherwise. Thank you for the work you do and for giving me the opportunity to share my story.

Best, Emily, she, her. Emily, I hate that story. Good for Emily though. She fucking thought twice. That's right. It for Emily though. She fucking thought twice. That's right. It's terrifying though. It is so scary. I wonder when, like what year that happened. It says about 20 years ago.

Oh shit. Yeah, early 2000s. God. I know. I think that shit's over and it's not. Burn in hell, lady with the lost cat. Seriously. Have you ever felt uneasy leaving your home, wondering if everything will be safe while you're away? Enter SimpliSafe Home Security. They deliver reliable protection and reassurance for families

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And there's really nothing like being able to monitor your home while you're away from it on video. The idea that I don't have to worry about it in some general way, I can just pick up my phone and check all the cameras and there I go, everything's fine and I know it for a fact. That's the kind of thing that these days just takes that off your mind. You don't have to think about it. Protect your home with 50% off a new SimpliSafe system plus a free indoor security camera when you sign up for fast protect monitoring. Just visit Simsafe.com slash fave. That's simplysafe.com

slash fave. There's no safe like Simply Safe. Goodbye. Okay. This is insane. The subject line of this email is Grandma's tricky dog. It says, hey, gang, you love dog stories. You love grandma stories. So here's a story about my grandma's clever dog. I grew up living next door to my grandmother. What a dream. I mean, seriously. I have so many fond memories of visiting her on a regular basis. I'd look out the back window of my house, and if I saw her light on over the kitchen sink and the top of her

head in the window as she washed dishes, I knew it was a good time to visit. I'd run out the back door yelling, I'm going to see grandma, as I let the door slam. I'd go into grandma's kitchen, she'd make a pot of tea, and would serve either homemade banana bread or crackers and cheese. We'd sit at her kitchen table and she'd tell stories. This story was one of my favorites. My grandma was born in the year 1900.

Wow. I am not certain of the year 1900. Wow. Wow. I am not certain of the year that this story took place, but I'm guessing it was around 1910. Holy shit. This was long before podcasts. She lived in a small town in Idaho with her younger sister and mom. Why there wasn't a dad is an incredible story for another time. Well, you better write it back in.

Come on! Jesus. They also had a dog. This dog was apparently really clever and could do lots of tricks. I'm sure his bag of tricks included sit, stay, and play dead, but his best trick, according to my grandma, was saying his prayers. What? When they told him to say his prayers, he'd put his front paws up on the table and put his nose in between his paws. He'd peek up at them, but he'd stay in prayer position until someone said, Amen, and then he'd get up.

Oh, f**king s**t, I'm going to cry. So cute. Oh my God, I bet it was a border collie. They're so smart. One day, my grandmother's mom had just made fresh donuts. I mean, talk about a 1910 event right there. Sounds amazing. Sorry, I should have read the whole sentence. And I'd put them on onto a plate to cool, but not into the windowsill?

Okay. You know, come on. This is a cartoon, right? Come on. The three of them then decided to go for a walk. And then in parentheses it says, in my mind, I always picture the dusty town from the Little House series with wardwalks, sidewalks, and dirt streets. Yeah. The plate of donuts was in the center of their table. Their dog wanted to go for a walk too, but for some reason they didn't take him this time. They left the house and went on their

walk. When they returned, no dog came running to greet them. The first thing they noticed was an empty plate on the table that used to hold all the freshly baked doughnuts. I think those doughnuts are deep-fried though. I don't want to argue somebody else's experience, but aren't by nature doughnuts deep-fried? No, you can bake them nowadays. Maybe I don't know about back then. This is 1910? Okay. They're probably fried.

They figured that their dog had eaten them all, and when they found their dog, he did seem guilty about something, mystery solved, or so they thought. But the truth of the missing donuts was so much cleverer than that. As my grandma, her sister, and their mother went about doing their regular house cleaning chores over the next week, they began to find donuts. Yes, their clever but spiteful little dog, who was so mad that he wasn't taken on a walk with them, had not eaten the donuts. He had hid every single donut around the house. Eventually, they found all the donuts that had been placed on the plate that fateful day. As my grandma would tell me the story, we'd laugh trying to imagine

this dog carefully taking the donuts from the plate one by one and looking for the perfect spot in the house to hide. A new place each time. Understanding the concept of hiding. Yes, yes, and spite. Yeah. And revenge. I never got tired of hearing this story and many others that she'd tell again and again over the years. Every once in a while she visits my dreams and in my dreams I always think, oh grandma's back. I'd better get up there and hear some stories because I don't know how long she'll be here. I think I was very lucky to grow up living next door to my grandma. You were. I hope you enjoyed the story as much as I always did. Stay sexy and always take your dog with you on walks, Julie. Oh, that made me think of my grandma's.

Yep. That's so sweet. That made me think of our old next-door neighbor, the Willington's grandma, Noni, who lived next door to them. And it was the greatest, and she wasn't even my grandma. Just the best. Just live next door to a grandma. Yeah.

I think it's their rule. Their vibe, they just, they get it. Their big picture. They don't kind of give a shit about the small stuff. Totally. It's the best. Totally. Okay.

This one's called, Treasure in a Haunted Movie Theater. Hi, MFM fam. The very best way I can show you how much I love you all is to give you exactly what you're looking for. A true treasure story, including murder, stuff in walls, and petrified M&Ms. Thank you. When I was about 12, my parents purchased the only movie theater

in our tiny Montana town. Cool. My mother, Lisa, renovates historic buildings for a living, and this 1914 theater was her largest project. Oh my God. I mean. Growing up in that environment. All I can think of is how much popcorn I would eat.

I just would never stop eating popcorn. We're actually gonna get there. It had gorgeous mosaic floors, original chandeliers, layers of dirt and trash I cannot bring myself to describe in detail, and ghosts. Among the list of things my little brother and I found while we were used as child labor to clean out the random shit that had piled up in the theater

since its last renovation in 1948. Oh shit. And then it's listed an entire rack of near pristine costumes from the 1960s that I wore for many Halloweens. Christmas tree decorations attached to 12 inch serrated knife blades. And then it says, I don't have a better way to describe this. They were birds and a foam Christmas tree that looked like they were glued on, but no giant knife instead. I don't get it, but I don't want to fucking find that. Yeah, I know. It just seems

like someone who was having a hard Christmas season is decorating. A pack of M&Ms suspected to be from the 1950s based on the packaged design and so many movie posters. My brother, unfortunately, won our competitive scavengering contest because in a box of random papers under a window seat he found a signed picture of Elvis himself with a note that said thanks for everything. Holy shit. We sent it off for verification and it was certified as the real deal. My brother still has it hanging up on the wall in a red velvet frame and I moped for weeks that I didn't find anything nearly so cool.

That is incredible. The ghosts like to mess with us by turning lights on and off, moving furniture around, and most freakishly, making it feel like someone was playing with your hair when you were alone. No, dude. This happened to both me and my mom on separate occasions. My mom told me she got so fed up with it

that she once shouted at it to cut it out. When one of her contractors asked about the yelling, she shrugged and told him someone had to put the ghost in their place. The ghost may very well be the man who was rumored to have gotten in a fight on the balcony and was tossed to his death on the seats below. Those same seats I had to unscrew from the concrete floor by hand during the renovation. To this day, I don't know if my participation in that activity was actually helpful, or if my parents just needed to sit me somewhere with a job so I would stay out of the giant garbage bag-sized bags of popcorn that got delivered to the store room.

Anyway, thanks for the laughs and for helping us murderinos find a welcoming place we can escape to when the world around us gets too real. Ask SDGM and leave the ghost wrangling to your mom, Elizabeth, she, her. Elizabeth, that's a dream childhood scenario. I'm sorry you had to work your way through it in that way. Also Elizabeth's saying that their movie theater had popcorn delivered from the outside in. They didn't make it there. Yeah, I think a lot of them do it like that now.

And then they warm it up in the popcorn thing. Come on. I know. I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to burst your bubble. No, it's okay. I literally during the pandemic, I found on Postmates that you could get movie theater

popcorn and snacks and stuff delivered to your house and I did it one time. It was really great. That's brilliant. Yeah, big fan. The saltiest popcorn you can find. What drives someone to commit the unthinkable? How does an ordinary person transform into a serial killer? If you've been curious about the twisted psychology behind the world's most infamous criminals, Mind of a Serial Killer is the podcast for you. From Jeffrey Dahmer to Ted Bundy to the Night Stalker, Mind of a Serial Killer takes you deep into the chilling minds of some of history's most notorious criminals. As the layers are peeled back, find out what compelled them to commit such violent crimes. Vanessa Richardson and Dr. Tristan Engels not only explore these stories, but also the

dark psychology behind them to help uncover the answers. Follow Mind of a Serial Killer, a Crime House Studios original, now. New episodes drop every Monday. Again, that's Mind of a Serial Killer. Follow now wherever you get your podcasts. Goodbye. This podcast is brought to you in part by Squarespace. Hey, Canada, Karen here to apply a little peer pressure.

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of a website. That's squarespace.com slash murder and use promo code murder to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Goodbye. Listen to this one, here's my last one. I was the safe deposit teller at a Malibu bank. Ooh. Yes, this is what Malibu bank. Ooh.

Yes, this is what we were asking for. Yes. Dear Karen in Georgia, my daughter Gabby turned me on to your podcast during the pandemic and we both listen religiously. Me from Las Vegas, she from Sweden. We love you. And the love is in all caps. Oh. Thanks, Gabby. Okay. So now into it.

You said I was obligated by law to tell you a story about working in a safe deposit vault. It was 1980 and I was working at a bank in my adopted Malibu. And then, parentheses, it says, I was attending Pepperdine. I was 18 and the safe deposit teller. When somebody lost their one safe deposit key, it was a big deal. They would have to make an appointment, come in with ID, and a locksmith would be there, and then in parentheses, yes, so cool to watch. The bank president and, yep, the safe deposit teller.

This one morning, the person who lost his key was Martin Sheen. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you how lovely of a man he was." And then it says, probably still is. He told us that he was recently in a movie about a bank heist and proceeded to lay out the entire movie for us. And then it parentheses it says, the locksmith was taking his time. The movie called Loophole came out the following year. After the locksmith replaced the lock on his box,

and I handed him Martin Sheen his new key, he was on his way. Most of the stars had passports, birth certificates, and a bit of jewelry. They're basically just giving us the inside scoop on like what we could find in there if we could look. That makes sense to be a famous person and like not want that in your house. Yes. Okay, someone breaks in. Yeah. Put it somewhere super safe. Thank you for all you do. Having been in psychology for the past 30 plus years.

It's great that you have done so much to de-stigmatize seeking mental health help. You are both truly treasures. And then it just says Jay. Aww, thanks Jay. Great little insight with a little famous person thrown in there. All the things we love. Perfect mother daughter.

Amazing. I mean Malibu, we both love Malibu. Malibu, okay. My last one is called, great grandpa's name short and lighthearted. Murder besties, just like me, I'm going to keep it short and sweet. My great-grandfather's name was Noble Welcome Hand.

He was a gentle yet strong World War II veteran who oozed wisdom and love until he passed away last year at 99 years old. Noble Welcome Hand, R.I.P. However, I come to tell the story of his name. His mother, pregnant with him, her fifth child, was visiting a neighbor when the neighbor asked if they had chosen a name for the baby yet. My great-great grandmother replied, yes, his name will be Welcome Noble. To this, the neighbor laughed and exclaimed, you can't name him Welcome. The fifth child is never welcome.

Ouch. My great great grandparents decided to switch the first and middle name to instead become noble welcome. Also his longtime nickname was spark due to a spark plug being run at his head while bike riding with friends as a child. That's how you get a fucking nickname. Yeah. My great grandparents were married seven years before my great grandma Martha passed away in 2018 at the age of 94.

Their marriage was the blueprint that the rest of our family has tried to duplicate. Stay sexy and watch what you name your children, Ashley. Let's see. The name noble is so old fashioned and cool. It's beautiful. Yeah, for a dude? Noble.

Yeah, so good. So noble. So good. Aww. Send us all your stories, people. You can tell us about your grandparents. You can tell us about your mom. You can tell us about your dad.

Yeah, you can tell us about like your, you can tell us about your dad. Yeah, you can tell us about like your animals, your hometown murder that happened. Old jobs you've had that you think we'd like to hear about. Definitely. Mom and pop stores, blockbuster video, we don't care. We just love you and we wanna hear from you. Yeah. Stay sexy.

And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? This has been an Exactly Right production. Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck. Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo. This episode was mixed by Liana Squillace. Email your hometowns to MyFavoriteMurder at gmail.com.

And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and on Twitter at MyFaveMurder. Goodbye!