My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - MFM Minisode 411

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

This week’s hometowns include a hero dog named Beans and sarcasm gone wrong.  Support this podcast by shopping our latest sponsor deals and promotions at this link: https://bit.ly/3UFCn1g. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is exactly right. shapes who they become tomorrow. Melissa and Doug, the play is pretend, the skills are real. Look for Melissa and Doug wherever you shop for toys. Visa and OpenTable are dishing up something new. Get access to primetime dining reservations by adding your Visa Infinite Privilege Card to your OpenTable account. From there, you'll unlock first-come, first-serve spots at select-top restaurants when booking through OpenTable account. From there, you'll unlock first-come, first-serve spots

at select-top restaurants when booking through OpenTable. Learn more at opentable.ca forward slash visa dining. My safety is my own. Hello and welcome to my favorite murder. The mini-sode. Where we read you your mini-sode story. The tiniest story you sent us. Little baby story. It has to be small. That's the agreement. Hey, guess what? You go first? We're all in this together. Just a quick message before we start.

This is coming out way later. Everyone's already, everyone knows how fucked it is already. Everyone is entirely dissociated and- It's new for us. Making plans. Very new for us guys, if you're listening now. Two days after the big announcement. The subject line of this email is an Irish goodbye or good intuition, home down.

Hey besties, I've been listening to you since I was a broke college student. Your voices have accompanied me through college graduation, getting a big girl job and getting married. And now my triplet toddlers. Oh, no. My triplet toddlers and I listen to you on the drive to daycare in the morning. Oh, no. Wow. Just a lot of problems there.

I choose to believe they're just baby murderinos and I'm not making tiny serial killers. We're with you. I'm a little behind on listening now, but on a recent minisode, Georgia mentioned wanting to hear about times when listening to your intuition paid off. Yes, always. When I was in high school, circa 2011, go to hell, I was cool adjacent, which just means one of my longtime best friends, we'll call her Grace, became popular and I

got to ride on her coattails. Hell yeah. She would make sure I got invited ride on her coattails. Hell yeah. She would make sure I got invited to whatever party was going on. I, being socially awkward, would try to make conversation for a little while before quietly leaving to get Taco Bell and go home. Grace is so nice. She's not just like, bye bitch, fuck you. She's like, come, I want you to be part of it.

You can only get less awkward when you practice how awkward you are in front of as many teenagers as you can. I know how lovely you are because you're not awkward around me. Yeah. Like show them. You love that when you're like, show them how cool you are. You're like, they won't talk. Bridge the gap.

And you're like, I prefer a chalupa and to get out of here. One particular weekend, Grace invited me to a party after I got off my part-time job. I went to the party, drank a few sips of disgustingly warm beer, and waited for the right time to make my exit. A guy I vaguely knew started chatting with me on the couch. He was the type of guy that acted like we were good friends even though I barely knew him. Red flag.

Eventually, I told him I was leaving soon because I had a curfew. He asked if I would give him a ride home too since he had been drinking and his ride was MIA. I said yes, although the voice in the back of my head was screaming, no, no, no. He said he needed to run to the bathroom and I took that opportunity to do my favorite thing, an Irish goodbye. Hell yeah. I quietly slipped out and drove home alone.

I felt really guilty about leaving the guy until a week later. Oh my god. Oh my god. Grace sent me a screenshot of a local news article and whose mugshot do I see front and center? The guy. He apparently had been charged with kidnapping and assault of three other women in the last year.

Oh my god. His last attack had been just a week prior to when I'd met him. He was 19 and found guilty on all charges. He's still in jail as far as I know. I still harbor a weird bit of guilt about it for some reason since I was able to evade him. But at least three other women weren't so lucky. But I am really grateful that my introversion and my intuition kept me safe.

Thanks for all that you do and all the causes you bring awareness to. Love be she her. That is unbelievable. I have chills like he was planning for her to be the next victim. Well, and guys like that, it's like, isn't everyone just a victim? That's all it's all prey to a predator. Opportunity. And she fucking later days so hard, she fucked politeness and she just split and I love that.

Take Bea's advice. You don't always have to explain to a person, oh, I'm going to choose not to give you a ride. You don't have to do anything. Literally, it's like, oh my god, I have to talk to my friend for one second. Peace. Haul out that back door. Yeah. And the next time they see you, they're going to be like, where were you? And you're like, I don't know what you're talking about. What do you mean, you drunken fool?

Right. You don't owe them anything. Also, if it's a cool person, they would never go, where were you? Right. They'd be like, oh my God, we got separated at that party. Right. I hate, oh my God, chills, chills, chills.

All right, let's lighten things up. Okay. This is Big Sister Prank Confession Time. Nice. Hi, Karen and Georgia. I hope you both are doing well. I'm gonna jump right in and tell you both that I am writing for the first time to turn myself in after listening to Minnesota 406.

After being totally guilt-tripped by Georgia's call for older sisters to write stories in about how we tormented our poor younger siblings. Yeah. Right? We want to hear from the tormentor, not just the tormentee. Fess up. It's your time. Or as Karen put it, tell us what your problem is.

So here I am, proud older sibling to a sister, we'll call her M. We are only three years apart, so we often were heavily encouraged, forced, to do everything together growing up. Looking back, it felt like I was forced to let M tag along to everything I did. Of course, I hated it. One night in our teenage years, I was forced to let Em tag along to everything I did. Of course, I hated it.

One night in our teenage years, I was watching a scary movie I had been excited to see called One Missed Call. Em came down to see what I was doing and I wanted and wanted to watch something else. She begged me to change it. Annoyed, I refused but told her reluctantly she could join me. Lying that it wasn't a scary movie at all. You'll love it, I told her reluctantly she could join me, lying that it wasn't a scary movie at all. You'll love it, I told her. Knowing damn well, Em was a big scaredy cat and she'd absolutely hate it.

About 30 minutes in, she ran upstairs to complain to my mom and of course we were told we had to compromise on something to watch and share the TV. She was there first, I would say. Yeah, that's right. That's the rules. Rules. Yeah, I was there first. Rules.

I was going to try to make some sort of like the one where the pioneers, if you got their first. How was it? Claim jumper? It's the claim jumper garlic bread. The really good garlic bread. The fuck am I talking about? I was pissed.

That's when I came up with the idea on how to get back at her. If I couldn't watch my scary movie, I just created it home. I quietly snuck into her room and took her cell phone. I downloaded the creepy thing song from the movie, the one that plays before someone is found dead, if I remember correctly, and I set it as her ringtone. She had watched enough of the movie too where I knew this song had truly freaked her out. Once I changed the ringtone, I made sure to turn up her phone volume all the way and place her phone back where I found it. After everyone had gone to bed that night, I took our house phone to our shared bathroom that connected our bedrooms and dialed her cell phone number. I heard the familiar creepy music start blasting from her cell phone and watching through the cracked door, she shot up in bed and let out a classic blood curdling scream.

Oh my god. I then jumped into her room laughing so hard I was in tears, still screaming. Em ran to her parents' room. I can't remember much after that, only the fact that I found it absolutely hilarious while Em and my parents did not. She eventually came around forgiving me and she will still remind me every now and again how I changed her ringtone and scared the absolute shit out of her. What else are big sisters for?

This is like classic. It really is. They put in the work. Yeah. Anyway, we're both in our 30s now and are incredibly close. I now look back and I'm thankful my parents made me hang out with her because she's pretty cool after all. On behalf of Big Sisters everywhere, I'm sorry.

Oh, it's too late. I hope we didn't scar you too badly. You did. You did. Absolutely. That's why we're so funny and have this podcast. So thank you. Karen, Georgia, MFM team, thank you for all you do to bring so much good to this world.

I'm such a big fan. Stay sexy and don't scare your little sister, Chelsea. Thanks Chelsea. That's hilarious and also that really is an ingenious prank. So clever. Very smart. Also, what's more like meaner older sister than peeking through like a bathroom door at you while she fucks with you?

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Oh dear. So I was listening to the recent it, we just get right into it. So I was listening to the recent, we just get right into it. So I was listening to the recent episode Karen did about the disaster of the Altamont Free Festival and it reminded me that my mum was there. She said she sat by a yellow bus near the stage, which you can see in photos from the stage, and that Hell's Angels were on top of the bus throwing beer cans at random people and they got the hell out. Quote, it was not a fun festive vibe.

She left while it was still daylight and said they had parked miles away. Holy shit. What great planning though. The Rolling Stones are kind of my family's mascot. My parents met while they were both working for them on tour. My mom in a PA capacity and my dad was a pyrotechnician. We even went on tour with them as a family when my sister and I were about five and seven years old. Damn. Anyway, I just thought I'd share that as it also

gave me an excuse to force her to listen to an episode. Definitely got some murderino traits from all the episodes of Poirot and Midsummer Murders that we watched growing up. Nina. Nina Sands Cute. Beth Dombkowski Love it. Nina Sands I mean, terrible, but cute. Beth Dombkowski But cute. Nina Sands Thank you.

Beth Dombkowski Yeah. We always want like, if we tell a story and then you have a relative that was there for that story. Nina Sands Right. Or any connection at all or memory from it. We want to know. Beth Dombkowski Please. Nina Sands Always. Beth Dombkowski Best if it's a grandparent. Nina Sands Definitely. Am I not all family based? This one's

called trash family? Question mark. Mine are all family based. This one's called Trash Family? Question mark. Karen, Georgia, everyone. Hello and welcome to my email. I'm some variation of a day one listener as I join somewhere around the 12th episode. That's day one. Yeah, that's totally day one. Yeah, that works.

Shout out to my old boss Pat who said his wife Amanda listened to, quote, these two ladies talk about murder, but it's a comedy podcast, end quote. You two have truly come such a long way. Thank you. Okay, so then they're listing out like the Trash Family. So first is Trash Brother. When I was about six years old, my brother and I set up cardboard boxes on our stairs leading up from the second floor all the way down to our basement. As we built it, we discussed its clever name, Megaslide. Now, my brother, who was 11 at

the time, hands me a circular sled and says, all right, you first. Yeah. With the Megaslide being engineered by children, we failed to realize we didn't put a stop at the end or any type of safety barrier. Our basement wall was concrete. I made my way down Megaslide quite fast and flew directly into the concrete wall. Since you're basically rubber at that age, I somehow did not get a concussion, but I did earn fashionable stitches across my forehead. Head smack first into the fucking concrete wall.

And the amount of blood because your head bleeds the most, right? Absolutely. I was Frankenstein that Halloween. Okay, then it's trash parents. Whenever we sat down for dinner, my parents asked how our day went. What was the best part, worst part, etc. A few years after the mega-slide debacle at dinner, my parents decided to ask which one of us they should keep because they, quote, just couldn't afford two kids anymore. Panicked, my brother and I glanced at each other as we prepare our arguments. He explained he was older and would be out of the house soon so they wouldn't have to pay for him

much longer. I explained I was smaller and ate less and would cost less over the remaining years I planned to live there. Smart. I truly cannot remember if they ever picked a winner, but I love to bring up both these stories whenever I'm asked why I am the way I am. I mean the panic if you thought that was real. Absolutely. Hey, we got to get rid of one of you two. Yeah, so just.

And then they just throw each other under the bus. There's no like... Also, they have to make up speeches on the spot. Totally. Yeah, not fair. Stay sexy and wear a helmet maybe. XOXO. Tar. Tar, what a family. You made it. You did it. You really did it. You should have been like, and also here's my other reason.

He almost killed me on the mega slide. Right. That was his idea. Sorry, Santa, you and the reindeer have been great, but we're bringing in someone new this year. I'm sorry, you're firing Santa? I am, we can do it ourselves. Miracle Maid sheets are inspired by NASA and designed to make sleep out of this world.

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Hey y'all, I've heard quite a few hero dog stories in the mini-sodes now and thought it was time for my dog Beans to get her due. We were living in an apartment and there was only one family with children on our floor. I was taking Beans out one day and as soon as we got out the door, she lost it. She was pulling and biting at her leash and as we got out the door, she lost it. She was pulling and biting at her leash and as we got down the hall, I heard one of the

kids crying in the distance. I didn't think it was unusual because that's what kids do, right? But Beans insisted on pulling me all the way down the hall to their door. I didn't know the family so I was trying to pull her away when I noticed that the door was cracked and that I could see legs laying on the floor. I called out and no one answered so I pushed the door open to find my neighbor, the mother of the kids, unconscious on the floor, apparently having passed out while on the way out the door.

Beans licked the toes of the kids in their stroller while I called 911 and followed their directions as my neighbor remained unresponsive. Eventually EMS arrived and we left for our walk. I don't know what happened, but my neighbor survived and was home a few days later. If Beans hadn't been so insistent, I would have just walked past without a second glance. The woman lived alone with her kids and it was a strange time of day.

So who knows how long it would have been until she was found. Beans heard something in the kids cries that I didn't and knew she needed to help, even though she thought it just meant licking them. Oh. Maybe not the most dramatic heroic dog story, but she's just a good girl. I've attached a picture of Beans because who doesn't love an excuse to show off their dog? Ssdgml. Beans!

Oh my goodness. She's like some kind of spaniel mix. Oh, what a cutie. Good girl. I just wanna help. I just wanna help. Just wanna help you. Oh.

Good job Beans. That's so sweet. Beans. Okay, my last one's also a child one. It's called Sarcasm Gone Wrong, which we asked for. Oh, okay, great. Hi, I just paused Minnesota 405 to tell you my sarcasm gone wrong for children story. As a child, I lived in a court with a bunch of other families.

Our parents would take turns carpooling us to and from school. One day when my friend's mom was driving, we were approaching my stop. As we rolled along, my friend's mom said, we're just going to slow down and you can jump out. I took this statement very seriously. As we got to my front lawn, I threw the door open and leapt from the car. I don't remember being hurt after just being embarrassed as my friend's mom laughed and explained that she was only kidding. My mom also found it funny. Oh, the 90s. Thanks for everything you do and for the way you speak openly and compassionately about mental health. Take care, Britt from Saskatchewan.

Britt. I love that Britt heard that and was just like, all right, I got to get ready. Yeah. Like, well, if this is how it is, this is how it is. Yeah. Like, this story's been bugging her her whole life that she was laughed at by adults for taking something seriously. And now she's like, finally going to tell people who are like going to call them out on it. Who get it. Because guess what? You told me to do it. So I did it. And I lived. So clearly I did it well.

Lucky you. Hey, thanks for listening to the mini-show. Send us your stories at myfavoritemurderatgmail.com. .com.gov.uk.co. And also stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Kibbe! Elvis, do you want a cookie? Ah!

This has been an Exactly Right production. Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck. Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo. This episode was mixed by Liana Squalacci. Email your hometowns to MyFavoriteMurder at gmail.com. And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at MyFavoriteMurder and on Twitter at MyFaveMurder. Goodbye!