My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark - MFM Minisode 74

Episode Date: June 11, 2018

This week’s hometowns include a workplace murderer and a serial killer Grand Am.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do...-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 We at Wondery live, breathe and downright obsess over true crime and now we're launching the ultimate true crime fan experience, Exhibit C. Join now by following Wondery, Exhibit C on Facebook and listen to true crime on Wondery and Amazon Music, Exhibit C. It's truly criminal. Hi, welcome to my favorite murder, the mini-soad of our podcast. It's a smaller version of the podcast. It's easier to carry around. It's lighter, compact, better on your lower back, and we don't have to do any homework for it. That's what we like about a mini-soad. We don't have to do hours and hours of research, which we love doing. No, more than once a week would not be. Oh, no. No, that was a no in agreement. Sometimes I agree with you so much, I have to
Starting point is 00:01:11 say no first. No, shut everything down because that's exactly right. No, you're right. No, you're exactly right. Yeah, don't even finish your sentence. Just stop because you're right. This is a joy, comparatively speaking. Yes. Yeah. It's like we're communicating with the listeners. They're telling us shit they want to talk about. Right. It's not all us hogging the conversation. We can prove that we know how to read, that we're literate by reading emails. You know, and I'm sure you already knew this about me before I'd say it, but I was the kid in class that would always raise my hand to read, and I loved reading aloud in class. It was the only thing that brought me joy in school. Karen, can we let someone else read aloud? Except for that.
Starting point is 00:01:53 They were so bad at it. It drove me crazy when people would read out loud. It'd be like, or it's like, just read the fucking sentence. Yeah, or they wouldn't say the punctuation was a question. And so at the end, they'd realize it was a question. You know, I should have taught a cold reading class. That's really, I think, where my passion lies. I think I'm pretty bad at reading aloud. So it's not my favorite. Oh, that's not true. This has helped me tremendously. This is the best training you could ever. That's the only reason I started this podcast with you, is to be able to learn how to read aloud better. So that you could then go on to be a news radio host. That's all I've ever wanted. You'd be very good at it. So we're reading your emails.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Out of the White House today. But I am going to say actually, instead of that ticker tape sound or not ticker, whatever that sound is. Because you know, all I want to do is read about shit that's going on in the White House today. Did you see the thing? They arrested a White House worker who was on the lamp for attempted murder. No, I just retweeted it like an hour ago. Donald Trump. It could be him. They didn't specify. Alleged. Melania. Poor Melania. Is she? All right, you want to hear this one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The subject line is, I got a present from the murderer at my workplace. Love it. Hello, Georgia, Karen,
Starting point is 00:03:21 Steven and the furry family. I can take it. Okay. A few years ago, I moved away and started a job at a new workplace. All pretty normal until one day I dropped dead gorgeous man walked through the doors and we all swooned. We found out that he was new to the area single and he had an accent like caramel. I say caramel, but she's spelled it caramel. I used to flirt with him every damn day in the kitchen, of course, pretending to be interested in his healthy eating habits. What is more fascinating than someone's healthy eating habits? Wait, I'm sorry. Are you saying you microwave that broccoli? That's crazy. I'm fascinated by someone's unhealthy eating habits, not their healthy ones.
Starting point is 00:03:59 It's like, I noticed that you have a bag of cold jack-in-the-box in your desk. I'd love to talk to you about it. I want to know about your life because I bet it's fun. I want to fucking party with you, Dan. Yeah, I absolutely do. Okay, so healthy eating habits. And one day he came in with some special tea for me because I explained the day before that I'd had trouble sleeping. It was only then that I noticed that he was a little bit strange. It didn't feel like a gift. It felt like he was trying to buy something from me, but I had no idea what. And just put it down to me being paranoid, a paranoid weirdo and suspicious of every fucking nice thing anyone does.
Starting point is 00:04:38 Good for you. I wasn't wrong. A few months later, I left the company and quote, unquote, Pete, came to my leaving drinks. We exchanged numbers and agreed to keep in touch. We didn't. My friend from the company, Tim, called me a few months later and asked if I was sitting down and still in touch with Pete, to which I replied yes and no, respectively. I've always wanted to say that. It's the letter. But I dropped my voice because it was in parentheses. That's good. I'm really acting it up. I get it. He then went on to send me an article link that explained how this hot, mysterious guy at the office had killed a child in his hometown, moved away and changed his name. Even creepier. They only found out because he'd been telling
Starting point is 00:05:26 one of the younger girls at the office that he was a model and she Googled his name. It turns out it was a huge case back in his hometown with plenty of mysterious twists and turns, but he confessed to quote, accidentally murdering the victim in parentheses. He found time to dispose of the body afterwards, however, and was jailed for manslaughter upon his release. He swiftly moved away, changed his name and it ended up at my workplace where he remains now. No, child killer shouldn't be let out of jail ever. They don't get to have healthy eating habits. They get to have prison eating habits. Now, I just want to call. Okay. And then it says, I really like this line. If he looks good, but you feel weird, you're on to something.
Starting point is 00:06:05 A, fucking. SSDGM or accept teabags from convicts. B, I love that. That is. Never trust a beautiful person. Please be careful of beautiful people. Effortlessly beautiful is just they don't put effort into anything. They don't understand how life really works. No. And so because of that, they'll kill you. Lesson learned. And that's all we're here to do is teach you this. Just teach you who to avoid. So far, it's everybody and everything. Okay. This is called body found at the ski lift after two years.
Starting point is 00:06:45 Shit. No intro. Okay. This is a story from Utah where we have the greatest snow on earth and lots of people come here to ski and snowboard. Originally, these events were kept quiet and the media was not informed. Everyone involved signed non-disclosure agreements until someone, I share a murdering obsession with revealed everything. It sounded like what they're saying is they signed non-disclosure agreements about skiing. Like if you ski, it is a secret. I mean, it's true. I don't know anyone who skis. That can't be possible. It's just rich people. Outside of Provo,
Starting point is 00:07:18 there are several popular ski resorts with the freshest powder in this hemisphere. In 2014, at the smallest of the ski resorts, had an international skier go missing from the group and the search party was, and a search party was launched. After several days and several blizzards spent scouring the back trails, assuming that the skier had ventured off the main slopes, search and rescue called off the effort. Everyone thought the skier had simply walked off the resort, cut their flight back to their home country, and everything was fine as the skiers party had stopped communicating with authorities. So no one was like, this person's still missing. I think that's what they mean. That's crazy. You gotta have one of those people calling long
Starting point is 00:07:56 distance international calls. Also, if your job is to find someone who's missing and then you just suddenly decide they probably flew home, you should change your, you should do a different job, maybe be a travel agent. A great idea. Come spring all the snow melted and guess what, no body. It wasn't until all caps, two fucking years later that they found the body cradled in a blue spruce tree within spitting distance of the ski lift. I think this means he fell from the ski lift into the tree. Maybe. Thousands of people skied and boarded right underneath the body with no idea. I keep wondering if I ever boarded down that trail during those two seasons and I'm sure I did. And all that time, no one noticed the bright jacket, the reflective
Starting point is 00:08:44 goggles or the person's skis hanging in the tree because all along each side of the lift, the trees are full of bras, panties and Mardi Gras beads from people who don't need underwear when they ski lift or have sex on the ski lifts or whatever. Jesus Christ. Is that true? That sounds damn nice. They're doing whatever they want up there on those ski lifts. I believe it. Keep your underwear on when you're on a ski lift. It's so cold. It's so cold. Because it was so unbelievable that no one noticed or smelled the body for two fucking years, again in all caps, the resort shelled out epic amounts of money and unleashed the lawyers to hush up what happened. Clearly that worked. Now, whenever I go boarding and get up on that lift up past those trees
Starting point is 00:09:24 with the bras and beads, I search for bones because if they lost one person that close to a hot chocolate stand, who knows how many other people are hanging dead in the Mardi Gras tree. Fuck. Thanks so much for making this podcast. I've made so many friends and found my people because of you guys. Love you all and don't get lost at the ski resort. Love Mickey. Shit, Mickey. Mickey. So he fell. How did he fall out of the... Those things always scared the shit out of me. A ski lift? I'm never going skiing again in my life. It's the fucking worst. I'm fine with it. I hate it so much. Like, why would I ever do that? It's not for us. No. It's for Norwegian people. That makes me think of my friend Alicia Gonzalez, who I love the most. She's, this was
Starting point is 00:10:04 back when we lived in Sacramento and some guy invited her to go to Tahoe for the weekend and she yelled on the phone. I was in the room with her. She yelled on the phone. I don't ski. I'm not white. And it was so hilarious. I love that I married someone who will never ask me if I want to go skiing. Yeah. He'll never ask me if I want to go for a hike or go skiing. God bless that man. Anything I don't want to do. No, he likes all the coolest things to do. He wants to do the shit I want to do, which is eat cold delt, jack in the box. Out of the bottom drawer. Talk about it. Okay, here you go. Okay. This is good. This subject line is my serial killer, grandam. Oh shit. The weirdest thing that has ever happened
Starting point is 00:10:47 to me. Again, no intro. Love it. So in 2004, 2005, I bought a used car, a 96 red Pontiac Grandam. It was ugly and awful and the radio had a short, but for $1,200, it was affordable. Yes. Fast forward six months. I get a call from the Oklahoma branch of the FBI. Oh my God. Saying, Hey, we think your car was used in a crime and we need to see it. A week later, I'm sitting at my receptionist's job waiting for the FBI to come take my car to whatever, to wherever, for whatever. Now get, now to get to set the scene. I want you to imagine something from a porn to hottest fuck FBI agents walking in my office. I'm talking black suits, sunglasses, indoors, tall buff FBI agents coming to talk to an eight year old receptionist, me. Eight year old?
Starting point is 00:11:32 18. Sorry. 18 year old. This is child labor. Okay. I'm literally drooling and smiling like an idiot. They flash badges and asked to talk somewhere private. Hell yeah, we can go somewhere private. I take them back to a back office. We all sit down, sunglasses are removed. Quote, we would like to talk to you about your car currently in your possession. We ask that you please do not go to the media as this is an ongoing investigation, but we will tell you what we can about the situation. A year or so ago, a guy came home to his girlfriend crying. The guy's crying and he tells her, I just killed a sex worker in the backseat of a car. The car registered to him at the time is your car. Oh my God. He also had an enclosed trailer that we've recovered. Evidence
Starting point is 00:12:20 of blood was found in that and we'll probably be removing the backseat of your car as evidence. We believe the man is responsible for killing several sex workers along the interstate between Arkansas and Oklahoma City. Then the second thus far silent agent says, before we go, we need to know if you or anyone you know has ever bled in your car. Oh my God. Ick, right? Literally the weirdest question I've ever been asked in my life. No, sir. They took my car for two days, brought it back, covered in luminol. The backseat was still there, so not sure about that. The carpet from the passenger side floorboard was removed. They asked for two quotes on cleaning the car. I sent them and received a direct deposit of 1150
Starting point is 00:13:01 dollars. Holy shit. I still have no idea who the actual killer was or what happened. I never got my car cleaned and drove it for the next year with missing carpet and luminol residue. Yeah, I know. I'm there with you. Before upgrading silver lining, I guess the car only cost me 50 bucks at the end of the day. Anyway, SSDGM, Ashley. Oh my God. Ashley, have you not sent that in earlier? Ashley, I can't stop smiling. There's everything about that. It's just insane and horrible. Someone was murdered. It's awful. It's terrible and but also it's just like she's trying to get a junker car to get around. She's just trying to get by. Holy shit. She doesn't want to be involved with the FBI or does she want to be involved with it? The fact that she got like
Starting point is 00:13:44 basically the same price that she paid for the car is banana. Well, essentially because some horrible asshole killed women in the car, she got a free car. It's insane. But that car is absolutely haunted. That is super haunted. I couldn't drive that car. All right. That's the kind of car that would somehow start driving you into walls or like fucking Christine the shit out of you. Yeah. Looking for a better cooking routine with meal planning, shopping and prepping handled. Hello Fresh has you covered. Hello Fresh makes home cooking easy and affordable so you can stay on track and on budget in the new year. Hello Fresh meals are convenient, seasonal and delicious. Stay cozy all winter long with classic comfort foods available weekly.
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Starting point is 00:15:13 murder20. Goodbye. What makes a person a murderer? Are they born to kill or are they made to kill? I'm Candice DeLong and on my new podcast Killer Psyche Daily, I share a quick 10-minute rundown every weekday on the motivations and behaviors of the criminal masterminds, psychopaths and cold-blooded killers you hear about in the news. I have decades of experience as a psychiatric nurse, FBI agent and criminal profiler. On Killer Psyche Daily, I'll give you insight into cases like Ryan Grantham and the newly arrested Stockton serial killer. I'll also bring on expert guests to dive deeper into the details, share what it's like to work with a behavioral assessment unit at Quantico, answer some killer trivia and even host virtual Q&As where I'll answer your burning
Starting point is 00:16:06 questions. Hey, Prime members, listen to the Amazon Music Exclusive Podcast Killer Psyche Daily in the Amazon Music app. Download the app today. This is called All Caps Richard Speck's Fucking House. Uh-oh. Again, no. Stephen, did you take out the intros in any of these? Stephen. No, no. Okay. There's no intro in this one. I love it. People are just like, I don't want to be criticized by you. Let's just get to it. I don't want to say hello wrong. Yeah. Because you're so judgy. It's all wrong. Um, so I am a college student at Grinnell College, probably saying that wrong, in small town Iowa. One of my teammates is from Monmouth, Monmouth, Illinois, and her childhood best friend lived in the house that Richard
Starting point is 00:16:55 Speck lived in before he moved to Chicago and fucking slaughtered those eight student nurses. My friend and our mom are really into spiritual stuff, go into graveyards with spirit sticks and communicating with the spirits and their spirits in their houses and stuff. I don't know are they like lead you, are they like smudge sticks? I don't know. I wish my mom was, that would be fun to bond with your mom over stuff like that. And make me feel very insecure. I really don't bond with my mom over anything. But you want to bond with your, bond with your mom over cemeteries? Just something like fun. Oh yeah. Like a fun hobby. Instead of fighting. Yeah. Instead of bonding over fighting. Well, you're good at fighting now. We like, we don't like hamburgers
Starting point is 00:17:32 and beer. There you go. There that's that. And she told me, okay, so her friend and she told me stories about hanging out in her friend's house that Speck used to live in. Okay, so there was an attic that they, an attic that they discovered in middle school. And of course her friend, Haley, decided to turn it into a super cool angsty hangout spot. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Once they started clearing out some of the old stuff in there, they discovered a bunch of old newspaper clippings and an old key. Since it was the coolest thing to do at the time, Haley took the key and put it on chain and started wearing it around her neck. As soon as they started shuffling things around up there, weird shit started happening. Yes. At first, they'd hear just footsteps coming up
Starting point is 00:18:11 the stairs, but then it got more aggressive and they'd hear loud running and shit throughout the house. It kept escalating. And so one day they literally heard someone pounding up the stairs and violently shaking the door handle to get in the attic. Wow. Attic. Don't get in the attic. My friend, being the spiritual connoisseur that she is, recognized that it was maybe getting dangerous and decided that she wasn't going to fuck with that shit anymore and told Haley she wouldn't hang out up there anymore. One night, Haley went to bed and took the key necklace off and put it on her bedside table. She woke up the next morning and the key had disappeared. After that, all the noises in the house stopped and there weren't any more issues. I don't know what that
Starting point is 00:18:49 kind of spirit, wait, I don't know what kind of spirit it was in the house, but it makes me kind of excited to think that they were maybe being bothered by Richard Speck's salty ass spirit. He really doesn't deserve to have moved on to another realm. I like that reasoning. I usually hate all that sappy, oh, I usually hate all that sappy stuff people put in their hometowns, but for real, shouts out to YouTube for helping me realize that the tightness in my chest and feeling of impending doom is, in fact, anxiety. Fingers crossed, I get to see you live one day. Also, shout out to Jillian for introducing me to your podcast, which we binge listened to as we traveled alone across Europe for spring break last year. Thankfully, we didn't get murdered,
Starting point is 00:19:27 although we came close in Athens. Athens, SSDGM Sydney. Oh, that was a good one. Well, you know what I was trying to picture is, I feel like the story might be, was that key to something that Richard Speck had hidden away and he's like, I need my key and it's that it's my lockbox. It's my lockbox of worse things than I already did already. Yeah. Like there's not a lot Richard Speck could be keeping in a box that would freak you out more than him fucking just systematically annihilating nurse. These poor nurses. Oh, these. I mean, God, that's a fucking that my from doing that story. The one thing I remember most is how that every cut almost every cop that went into that apartment came out barfing. Stop barfing
Starting point is 00:20:15 on the crime scene. Yeah, at least they did it out on the lawn. I think of like what would like the first thing I think about or like scary thing that you would find in a box or like fucked up thing is just teeth. It's always just loose teeth is fucking jarring. Yeah. And also, that's common because people keep their children's baby teeth, which is weird. I have my wisdom teeth. Oh, my jewelry box. Are they big? Yeah. And they're early yellow. Like clearly, I wouldn't do good. You should start bleaching your wisdom teeth that aren't in your mouth anymore. Just keep it all tight. I'm whitening my teeth. Your teeth don't look whiter. No, no, not these ones. The other ones. It's like by your bed. And he's like, I can't sleep
Starting point is 00:20:59 their teeth with roots. Do you want to hear this last one? The subject line is high school forensic science teacher wanted by the FBI. Okay. I have one last one too. Okay. It's a good one. There's so many good ones. Yeah. You guys really lighthearted ish. Okay. Hi, everyone. This is not a murder, but it did involve the FBI and me saying fuck politeness and kind of cock blocking his escape. Well, then great. You've justified your presence here. I grew up in a small town in Northern Arizona. The school didn't offer much since we didn't have that many students or teachers. Cool. That's weird. They should, they should set up whole systems where you get an education no matter what. Should try that. But my junior year, we got a new teacher who was
Starting point is 00:21:43 teaching forensic science parentheses. One of the girls in that class ended up acting as a victim in an episode of criminal minds, which was pretty exciting. Wow. Awesome. Congratulations. She did learn something. Did you have to lay really still or did they make a rubber doll of her body? Is my question, is my first of many questions. Sure. Anyway, I signed up as soon as I could for the forensic science class. Day one, huge red flag. He tells us that he used to be a rodeo clown. His little desk area didn't have any pictures of him with other people, just framed pictures of himself dressed as a rodeo clown. That is 19 red flags. That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard. He looked like a weird bald turtle.
Starting point is 00:22:30 As opposed to those turtles with long, luxurious hair. He looked like a weird bald turtle with constant male camel toe. Yeah. And he had a slow southern draw to his voice, but not the like, the soothing storyteller kind, the creepy, I have something to hide and this may not be my real accent kind. That's very unnerving. That's a great description. Yeah, it really is good. There's a big difference between those two. The very first assignment we were given was this research project about Panama. We each had to research a certain thing like careers, the current housing market, the laws all in Panama, being like a total shithead that I was in school in high school. I raised my hand and said something like, yeah, I'm not doing that. That is nothing to do with
Starting point is 00:23:14 solving a murder. I love it. Amen. And we got to do some fake CSI type things eventually, but he asked us to do a lot of random assignments that made me very suspicious of his intent behind them. So I refused to do anything that was not pertinent to forensic science, which eventually got me kicked out of class a week before the semester. Cut to the next semester and he's not at school. And a newspaper article comes out that he had a 24 count warrant out for his arrest from the FBI for things like embezzling, forgery and theft. He stole a bunch of money from his ex-wife and disappeared back in 1998. He changed his name and moved around the country a bit before settling in my hometown. And the article said that the judge believed that he was a flight risk
Starting point is 00:24:01 because he had attained citizenship to where you guessed it fucking Panama. Part of me kind of wish that he was wanted for something more interesting, but he was still a total scound bag. Thank you guys for being you and bringing so many people together. It's truly amazing. Stay sexy. Don't do research projects for wanted fugitives. Coco. I love you. All right, coming to this last one. I love the idea of raising your hand, but just going, yeah, I'm not doing that. That sounds like a Karen. It's a fucking, it's the definition of my life. Yeah, I love it. I'm not doing that. A lot of times I won't say it though. I just won't do it. I'm learning. I'm learning how to do that. Right. A creepy mortician. This is just about a creepy mortician. I don't want to tell you what
Starting point is 00:24:47 it is. Okay. Okay. This is just says, all right, you guys. Perfect. I've been listening to MFM pretty much from the beginning when it was big deal that 5,000 of us were in a group on Facebook. Yay. Hi. It was such a big deal, which still is, which makes the story even more embarrassing because I really should have known better last year. Keep in mind, I had been getting bi-weekly advice on how not to be murdered for a year at this point. I was in college and in between jobs and well, desperate. I got the bright idea to look on Krug's list for house cleaning job postings to make some quick cash while waiting to hear back from one of the places I applied. Already a bad idea. Very worried. We had a told you not to do that. Soon enough, I got a friendly
Starting point is 00:25:27 response from a man named Rocky, who offered a good hourly grade to clean a small house once a week. The only part of this that was even slightly thought through since I was 20 and invincible is I used a fake name and email address. No, nice. Soon enough, Rocky started making some strange comments that read suspicion and my curiosity, things like mentioning he's in the, quote, health care profession. So if I see stethoscopes or other medical equipment around his house, that's why. Then even before I set up a day and time for my first cleaning, he asked me if he could listen to my heart with his stethoscope. No. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. Not for any email. He doesn't wait to face to face and somehow try to like so excited about
Starting point is 00:26:17 those. It's like, yeah, I would have said yes if you had waited till at least we pretended I was doing this thing. Yes, like, okay. Yeah. He then he throws in this incentive for me. How would you like it if I just pay you $200 to listen to your heart for a few minutes and you don't have to clean anything? Okay. This is making me so nervous. I know she's alive. It's okay. I feel like I have to answer this email now. No, you cannot. Don't do it. There's more. No, I have to do it. I have to let him. I immediately assume this was a weird sexual thing. I started trying to get more information about this guy. I love that she was like, and I, it wasn't like, I stopped talking to him. Yeah, exactly. I need more information. Eventually, I somehow found out through his Facebook and
Starting point is 00:27:02 I somehow found his Facebook and found out he's a fucking mortician only in Florida, folks. Now, I have nothing against morticians, but if you're a mortician and you're at that point where you're wanting to pay a 20 year old girl to listen to her heart, you might need some therapy. Or if you're a vampire or if you're anything at all, I'll try to wrap this story up. I ended up meeting with him in a fucking Walmart parking lot with a close friend that tried to talk me out of it in the car nearby watching. I sat in his car and he listened in my heart and stomach with a stethoscope for about five minutes. And I think I got like $300. Wait, the first time and $200 the second time. What was wrong the second time? Yeah, it wasn't heard. The heart rate was too low. To this day,
Starting point is 00:27:48 I still don't understand why I would do it. I certainly wasn't a bad place, but goddamn, I didn't realize how little respect I had for myself. Honey, I don't think it's about that. It's not that. It started off in a very decent business like way. And it was your curiosity that, you know. And you got convinced and here's the thing, we need the name of that friend that sat in that car because that's the person you owe about $700 to right now. Anyways, thanks for the years of entertainment and making me hate myself less for having depression, anxiety and dropping out of college. Yay! The trifecta! I'm actually doing really great now working as a paralegal with no student debt and a
Starting point is 00:28:26 salary job that doesn't make me miserable. You've helped me realize the importance of laughing at myself. Stay sexy and don't let creepy morticians listen to your heartbeat for money or else you might end up murdered in a Walmart dumpster. Haley. Just, does Craigslist still exist? Like you're just still letting people use that thing? That's a great question. I don't think they should. Because it is, it really brought out, it was like the tide came up and went back out and then it just, all the weirdest. People at a bus, everyone at a bus stop just started expressing themselves and offering $75 for shit. And free dirt. And it's, that is that kind of thing of like, I'm so glad that she wasn't harmed, so glad it was only the thing it was.
Starting point is 00:29:12 It then makes me obsess on how bizarre and lonely people are where you would offer someone money and it's like, it all boils down to, I just need this one thing. Well, you think about Rocky. He's a mortician, so all he does is work with dead bodies all day. Yeah, but he knew that going in. Yeah, but now he just wants to hear the beating of a heart. Yeah, but how about you get a girlfriend? Listen to her. Or a boy for whatever. Like, yeah, I think it's, it's the solution. It's like, I'm gonna, here's my solution. I'm gonna make myself seem like the creepiest person in the world instead of getting over my fear of intimacy. Right. Well, we all have a thing and he's not hurting anyone, thankfully. Well, I hope there's proof of that.
Starting point is 00:29:57 She just wrote it. She got out. Yeah. I don't think she's the first person to respond. It makes me sad. Rocky. It's very, it's sad. There's love for everyone. Sometimes. It's so specific. That's not true. No, it's not. It's not that true. It must be hard for a mortician. You probably smell like formaldehyde and stuff. But man, I think a lot of our listeners would fucking love to date a mortician. Seriously, if you are a mortician out there and you're lonely, you might want to jump on that Facebook page. Oh, absolutely. Do an AMA on that Facebook page. Hey, what's up, I'm a mortician and I'm not creepy. Yeah, I'm not. I'm actually kind of like into doing the thing that a lot of people don't like to do. That's my thing. I take care of business for people. I do the hard
Starting point is 00:30:36 stuff. Make great fucking waffles. I'm a waffle. They call me the waffle master. But I also like to listen to waffles with a stethoscope. Anyway, come clean my house. That's the problem I have. He was tricky about it. Oh, I see. He was tricky about it. So it's like someone trying to get you into their house to then do. Sure. If you had put up a correct list post that said, I need to listen to someone's heart for $200, it would have been fine. Yeah. Bring a friend. Amen. It's all fine. I'll do it in the public. It's just a certain thing I have. Now a days, I wonder if Rocky's discovered the ASMR videos on YouTube where I bet you there's fucking just straight up heart beats. Yes. Or if stethoscoping was part of the appeal.
Starting point is 00:31:19 I wonder if Haley and Rocky fell in love and got married and that's the part she's not telling us. Oh my God. It's kind of like the movie secretary. Oh God, that's movie is so problematic. Oh, we have fun here. God damn it. I love these stories so much. Would you please send us more? Please send. If you have a Craigslist story that won't make us need to take a bleach bath, we would love to, love to read it. I would love a, oh my God, I can't believe how stupid I was. Yeah, we love those ones. And I did this thing, but I survived and it's okay. Yeah, it's cautionary tale. Cautionary tale. Because that's the other thing. Don't never again think about the fact that you did that because we all do that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:58 You're, it's true when you're in your 20s, you know a lot about life and you know fucking absolutely nothing about life and you do things that, I mean, I can't even, like I would have showed up for that, like 17 beers in and then been like, what's up, Rocky? That's fine. Stethoscope it up. And I mean, I can't even tell you. No shame. No shame. No shame. Except a little is fine. A touch of shame just to keep you from doing it again. Keeping it real. Just keep it real with a little shame. Keep, keep the touch of shame so you keep your feet on the ground. Touch of shame. Never hurt anyone. A fucking dude on Craigslist has. So please be careful. We have proof of that. Yeah. Proof of many.
Starting point is 00:32:39 There's, yeah. There you go. And mostly stay a second. Don't get murdered. Goodbye. Hey. Elvis, you want a cookie? A cookie? Good boy.

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