My Mom's Basement - EPISODE 157 - ‘WHAT IF…?’ EPISODE 8 RECAP WITH CLEM

Episode Date: October 1, 2021

Robbie and Clem break down the PENULTIMATE episode of Marvel's 'What If...?' on Disney+, and Barstool Sports' Patriots blogger, Jerry Thornton, joins for a special 'What If...?' segment at (46:56)! 3Chi: Use code MMB at checkout to receive 5% off at 3Chi.com PaintYourLife.com: Text BASEMENT to 64000 for 20% off today! Subscribe to My Mom's Basement on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIeZ96PqdsJYQ7DFLRx6MHw My Mom's Basement Merchandise: https://store.barstoolsports.com/collections/my-moms-basement Intro Music: “Basement Noise” by All Time Low Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/basement-noise/1499013757?i=1499013968 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3Aq9W9BBCjsFOQqcYyO6IA?si=d9d0f74cf54a48deYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/mymomsbasement

Hey My Mom's Basement listeners, you can find our episodes on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube, and Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Hello and welcome to My Mom's Basement presented by 3C and Barstool Sports. I am your host, Robbie Fox. I am back with Clem, and we are here to talk about the penultimate episode of What If Season 1. And I gotta tell you, Clem, we haven't talked at all about this episode yet, what each other thought of it, like each other's thoughts. I loved it. This was one of my favorite What If episodes yet. I don't know how you felt about it.

I mean, I know, you know, they did something again that, you know, Kenny from South Park, they made him a joke. Yeah, but. Bob, let's just forget the recap this episode. Let's just get into the what-ifs. First what-if comes from Clem. What if, what if... Stop killing Tony Stark!

Stop it! Stop it! It's not fair! I mean, like, it's getting comical at this point. It was comical. I was laughing my ass off when I saw him in this episode. I'm sorry, but he was, like, the only Avenger they made a point point to be like, hey, we're killing this one. Like, everyone's dead. We get it.

The whole Earth, the whole universe, multiple planets, all, you know, I almost said Alderaan instead of Asgard. Alderaan's dead, too. Tell you what, in any universe, they're gone as well. But, yeah, Tony Stark, he was the only one to be shown to bite the bullet, I guess. I mean, your guy, the T-Man, too. Holy fuck. What was that? That was one of the most shocking scenes in the history of the MCU.

Thanos got hit with exactly what went on. It split in half, right? That's kind of perfectly balanced, as all things should be. He was right down the middle. I didn't even put that together. Yeah. I didn't even put that together. That's brilliant.

And this is the thing. So I'm like grieving over Tony at this point. I'm still hurting. And then the T-Man comes like, all right, that's my guy here. You know, the enemy of Tony's enemy is his friend. So I finally have it aligned to T-Man. Split in half. Like Vision, Ultron, whatever the fuck he is, doesn't even think of it.

Boom. However, I have. He had so many stones too. So many stones. so many stones and the the thing is though i was like you know what like ultron vision whatever you want to it's ultron technically but the body of vision i'm like that dude deserves revenge on thanos because he killed his ass he got his ass killed twice in infinity war so i thought he kind of earned that revenge on thanos plus he kind of died again in fake land in WandaVision.

So Vision deserves to get a body count now. He had to sit on the sidelines way too long after the Infinity War happened. So it was a tough one for me, man. It was a tough one. I talked about this with Jerry. We have Jerry coming on for a special What If at the end of the episode. And I said – should I spoil it? I'll just.

Yeah, you could spoil it. Yeah, you could do it. So we did. This was kind of since obviously it was a huge Patriots game on Sunday, Brady and Belichick meeting in New England first time since he left. I had a what if, what if the Patriots had signed Tom Brady to a contract till he was 45 like he wanted.

And, you know, Jerry kind of gives us some different scenarios that happened from the last couple of years, blah, blah, blah. And we basically come to the agreement that the jets are just bad.

No matter what they're in this exact, like, Oh, in three hole in 2021, everyone's worried about their future. And the jets are basically a nexus being where no matter what fucking universe they're in, they're in misery i think tony stark is just a nexus being for being dead at some point that's kind of what i'm learning from uh this one well i saw someone

point out the fact and it might have been one of our listeners on twitter that in every universe that tony stark is killed like chaos happens the world is destroyed things erupted and it's almost maybe meant to show how important tony stark is to saving thepted and it's almost maybe meant to show how important tony stark is to saving the universe when it's all said and done maybe you could spin zone it like that i guess i guess like if they could just like just stop killing him and just say he died or something like like you said though like they don't like run through all the avengers and they all die it's just tony dies i think you can maybe see him in the background, but like they gave Tony lines again where he's like, ah, don't kill me, please.

Or, and then he's, yeah, he's killed or whatever. Little Morgan Stark is watching this at home too. She doesn't need to see this kind of stuff. She don't need to see it. No, keep it away from her. Let's get into the episode though, because there's a lot to talk about in this one. First, let me remind you about our presenting sponsor.

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actually continue the story which i loved and it is clear that the finale is going to also play off this as well so there's like almost a two-part finale i felt like and i dig that about it this was and so i kind of what i went on a tangent admittedly but this was like a really good fun action-packed episode it kind of checked all the boxes and this was this was bigger than anything i expected from what if at least in season one um but now it's it's also like you said we're rolling in it completely changes my mind of what this series is, what it's about, and kind of what it could be going forward. So a lot of being like, oh, shit, this is bigger than I thought. And, I mean, we'll get into the events. I'll just leave it at that.

We'll get into the event. I mean, I don't want to get ahead of myself, but you tweeted this week and you, you really made me laugh when you were like, if the big baby gets involved in any of this shit, I am retiring from Marvel. What if with one caveat, you said, unless the big baby also got involved in the comics and someone hit you up immediately.

And they were like, the big baby gets involved in the comics. And you were like, all right, big baby free reign. Like the watcher, like there's quotes around watcher. Like he's a watcher, but he'll get but he'll get his hands dirty if he has to.

So, again, I'm just trying to make sure we're not completely butchering the franchise here. I didn't read every Woodruff comic when I was young. I read a fair amount. So it's nice to know the Big Baby will roll up his sleeves if, like, his entire universe and existence and the existence of, I mean, the universe, the multiverse. Maybe our universe? You ever think about how big the universe is multiverse like maybe our universe this is you ever think about how big the universe is and you get that like head rush and you're like whoa that's yeah exactly i just got that now i'm live on a podcast so i'm fucking floating in space

but the big baby's trying to make sure that whatever the supreme size of this universe and all the universes in the world are don't get eaten up by Ultron, I can get down with that. I'll tell you what, the big baby can throw hands. Big baby has some fucking moves. What a fighter. He even hit a headbutt with that bald-ass head. That was like soccer hooligan shit. You see that in the baseball bar.

That's the kind of people I think Zod and Troops are around when they're not on camera on Saturdays. Shout-out Troops, by the way. He got engaged today, our guy. Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Congratulations got engaged today. Our guy. Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Congratulations, troops. She has to be an arsenal.

She better be an arsenal fan or at least like soccer neutral. I don't think there's any way where that relationship could work. I mean, their children are being raised arsenal fans. So she's at the very least very cool with the gunners.

Oh, and also let's shout this one out. Let's show on McCoy retired. All right, Pete, my dog was shady McCoy's career. You you fucking dickhead i'm so happy you can't make a paycheck anymore scumbag enemy of the number one the fact that he didn't at least realize like remember when za kind of spoiled it because of leshawn mccoy and then realized immediately the weight of his actions and he was like so apologetic he came to me to apologize and he didn't even spoil actions. And he was like, so apologetic. He came to me to apologize. And he didn't even spoil it for me. He was just apologizing to like all Marvel fans, just to me. And I was like, Zai, it's okay. Like you didn't understand. LaShawn McCoy was like, oh, I don't

care. What do you mean, bro? You spoiled it for a lot of people. He spoiled it for Dave. Dave Portnoy, actually. Spoiled it for Dave. When I tweeted at him and I was going to his Twitter just before, after I saw the news, and I saw that I blocked him. I forgot that I blocked him after he did that. It was like my standing up against a real dickhead. And then Dave, I think Gaz said something. Yeah, Gaz said it. Gaz saw it on the plane and laughed and was like,

oh, can you believe LaShawn McCoy just tweeted, RIP my dog Tony Stark? And Dave was like, the fuck, dude? I want to see that movie. Yep. And I never really – Dave's a sneaky nerd. Dave likes the Marvel stuff.

Dave likes the – he's not super into all the Marvel stuff. Dave's super into The Mandalorian, super into Star Wars. He likes the sequel trilogy, all that stuff. The Basement Boys will be one of the last podcasts to ever get axed at Barstool, I feel like. Part of take is like a lifetime contract, a few others. And he's Dave listens every week. He says he listens to every second of the podcast.

He loves it. He can't get enough. Twice over. He does one on the way. We asked him to come on, but he said he would rather just be a listener. Yeah, exactly.

So we appreciate that day. We appreciate that very much. The Sean McCoy, we appreciate absolutely nothing about you. The fact that he missed, I never realized that too. They say he misspelled Tony Stark, not because he doesn't know how to spell the most common name in the country. But then it wouldn't be the muted word,

wouldn't get picked up by the Twitter censors. Brutal. Absolute scumbag. Rebuked. He's been rebuked in the basement. Rebuked. So let's get into the episode the universe is in the final days of destruction as the watcher tells us natasha is

making her way through like a snowy terrain and we see clint is helping her out and she's being chased by a bunch of ultron minions these robots and clint with the fucking arrows he throws one bushel of arrows and and hits like everyone in the head kind of a nice tease for hawkeye we got it coming up so it's like all right we're introducing him back into the fold probably on purpose but it's probably on marvel's whiteboard like reintroduce hawkeye maybe um and we find out we are in russia he's like where are we anyway and she's like we're in the homeland you see in the background it looks like where hasbulla takes his instagram pictures so we're like all right we're back here eventually she gets the

um the red guardian shield too which is a very nice call back to black widow now that like we know all that i love how uh i feel like hawkeye and black widow are being pushed it's like when you go to the restaurant and they're like push the steak we need to get rid of the steak push hawkeye we need to get everyone excited about hawkeye again and i have to say like the the way the arrows were all shot that would make no look of sense in real life it didn't make sense in a cartoon i'm like okay like he's hawkeye he's really good it made no fucking sense it was like he took like a bouquet of flowers and put it in a bow it's like a big shotgun blast or something but we we find out that in this universe, Ultron got his wish. He imported his AI into the Vision body.

So it's so confusing if you're not into Marvel and you don't know Age of Ultron especially, which is a movie that a lot of people don't know. But this isn't Vision. It's not the guy that we know and love. This is Ultron in the vision body that was initially created for ultron yep and again this was uh we didn't know if we were gonna get like a betney voice if we were gonna get a spader voice and it clearly was not it was it spader i didn't it was not spader but it was actually the guy who did the voice of Red Skull in Infinity War and Endgame. So that guy, he didn't do the original Red Skull voice.

I forget who played that character originally, the actor. But he had, like, a bad experience with the MCU. He was one of the few. And he's like, I don't want anything to do with this. He kind of trashed the MCU, trashed Kevin Feige or something. So they're like, fuck him. We're not bringing him back. Let's get a different guy to do the voice and he's like this great voice actor and that guy actually did the voice of ultron here so it's a cool connection i don't got that

guy that guy and like if there's people so that's one thing that i always think about like you never know with life and how jobs can go or whatever and i'm like you know if anything ever happens i'm just happy like i'm on dave's good side like i think d'm like, you know, if anything ever happens, I'm just happy like I'm on Dave's good side. Like I think Dave likes me. You know what I mean? I think you're in that boat as well. And there's obviously – I think Dave has people he likes,

people he doesn't like, either how they work, how they – if it's barstool first or not. And it's kind of like – I feel the same with like Kevin Feige here at the MCU. It's like have those guys on your side because if you ever need help, you need a favor, you want to have people that are moving, that are centers of their universe, have your back. Shout out to the Red Skull guy. Spader too. I hated Robert

California. I know some people have this love of the office. Basically, that is when it all went downhill. Spader, what was this? Saber. I didn't like the whole Saber thing. I didn't like the whole saber thing and i didn't like any of it me neither when i do my rewatches i know people say no the robert california stuff is underrated like if it's on comedy central or something maybe i'll catch it if i'm rewatching

the office on a streaming service once i get to michael leaving i'll restart yeah so that's personally my way to go to teach their own i know everyone gets a cannon it's like office headcanon um and in this universe this gets dark as hell and maybe that's the key to these board f's because it seems like all the ones that get dark i love but fucking ultron nukes the whole world like he finds the nuclear codes he lights off all the nukes the way they animated it looked awesome this was overall one of my favorite uh episodes in animation because even when he gets all of the stones from thanos like we said you know thanos shows up he slices him in half equal as all things should be like he pointed out to me my 3g brain didn't even get it um he gets all the stones the way he builds the suit and like the dust falls off the stones they

go into his suit it's one of the coolest sequences, I thought, in the entire What If series. Yeah, I love how he just, and it's like Stark technology, right, where he has the glove and the stones in, and he kind of does that with the body. That was great. The badass suit, too, with that, like, double eyes he had. It was cool. And he fucking just crushed the gauntlet.

So it's like I lost my sweet little T-man, my big purple love, and then I fucking lost a gauntlet, which is, like, the symbol of the team, man. But I mean, this kind of goes to show you like Thanos, this actually, this episode kind of shows that this isn't such a bad guy after all. No,

come on. No. Oh, were you saying maybe Thanos showed up to stop Ultron? I mean, well, I guess he did because he wanted the mind stone yes exactly that's what he had he had everything else in hand needed the mind stone and again I love that Vision kind of got his revenge even if it's in a completely different character in this universe I mean is Thanos the hero if you are if you are instead of

the watcher if you are the doer Bob the doer you are the doer you shave your head you'll be the big baby yeah you can have one of those two win who do you have when thanos or ultron in that scenario yeah i want you to say it do you want to thanos because i mean ultron we see he goes to asgard he goes to the sovereign sakaar um ego which i mean destroying ego is probably a good thing but all the other places he destroys entirely thanos probably would have just wiped out half right that's exactly thanos no more no less and it's all just it's chance it's it's flip of a coin it's not genocide i think we can say we've already been over this happy thanos oh and by the way i forgot to even mention you also see your guys the guardians of the the Galaxy, die in this too. What the fuck?

It was tough. I mean, I think that's my – it's Thanos. It's the Guardians and it's Iron Man. Those are my three franchises there just completely wiped off. And then he kills Ego, which Guardians is like my favorite non-Avengers movie. So I basically lose Guardians 2 as being a movie. So it was absolutely brutal. But yeah. This must have been written by someone that's on my side

of the captain america argument that's a basement boy or girl and they're like you know what let's give it to clem this season there was only a few people that i voted no to in uh barstool idol as i was a judge one day and it's whoever it's one of those people was the writer of this episode i'm gonna get fun where it really hurts and just watch all his favorite characters die however once again bob said thanos different levels of gray, I guess we'll say. Thanos, lighter shade of gray than Ultron in this scenario. They're both trying to make peace.

Thanos is trying to do it, just half the universe, not all of it. And we've seen in the other multiverse that Thanos can be swayed. If T'Challa were Star-Lord, he could have swayed Thanos easily. I would say he's not as bad as Ultron. I think you're right. Did you geek out at all the different movie things so we saw like ragnarok right it was kind of like korg out there obviously the guardians um and yeah even uh even asgard he has the uh he gets the cape where i saw someone mentioned that he he loved thor's cape so he has the cape uh yeah that's the thing like ultron very bad guy very nice fit though

very nice yeah nice fit and like ultron was cooler in this episode i thought than he ever was in age of ultron and they i mean they say that line at one point they're like the age of ultron is just beginning oh yeah you said the thing the movie that's like i just saw venom let there be carnage and i'm not going to spoil anything but there's a scene where somebody goes, let there be carnage. And it was just like, gotcha. Yeah, and nobody, no one should be expecting a Venom recap on My Mom's Basement because based on what I'm hearing about it, it might not be worth it. Yeah, I told Clem it's not worth going to see. I said, you know, find the post-credit scene when you can.

I'm not going to spoil it for anybody if you love the venom movie the first venom movie maybe you'll like this one i thought the first venom movie was okay watchable i would say i didn't love it the second venom movie i i really wasn't a fan of so we're not going to do a recap of that one i don't want to trash it um captain marvel finally interferes with ultron when he gets to zandar it's like, finally. I mean, what took you so long, Captain Marvel? I feel like always this girl's late. She makes a funny Terminator joke where she's like, I already saw the Terminator movie Skynet. It doesn't need a sequel.

It's like, oh, because she left Earth before the sequel came out or something. I didn't get that. I didn't get that. I like that. But then Ultron kills her and destroys the planet he just from the inside like she's frying him up and he's like she's like uh you're not gonna win he's like i already have fucking blows up the whole planet that was kind of alderaan style the way it blew up and then he senses the watcher and immediately the watcher is terrified like as he's narrating

it's kind of the same thing as what happened in the doctor Strange episode. He's like, whoa, who was that? What was that? Watcher's like, uh-oh, that's not good for me. I don't think this guy should be sensing me. We go back. The baby's starting to shit himself right now. There's a little bit of pee-pee coming out of his baby dick right there. He's not liking it.

He needs to be changed. Yeah, exactly. He needs to be changed. I just thought when you said Alderaan, I thought about the goddamn asshole Mandalorian. I was like, did you lose anyone? someone brought that up to me recently who was it in the office forget who it was but they just walked up to me and they're like you remember when the guy was like did you lose anyone and all they're not that was the worst amazing and cat listen i love captain marvel i i was gonna be like oh women they always say they're gonna

be out earlier than they are captain marvel always strolls up by like the third act of a fucking movie however i don't think getting exploded in the middle of planet is a fair punishment but bite your tongue woman about t2 she has no idea how fucking good terminator 2 was terminator 2 is the best movie of the entire franchise in my opinion so i'm not saying she deserved what happened to her, but maybe next time try to like – I'm forgetting, Fury didn't send her the beeper. This is like a lot of multiverse and timelines going on.

Yeah, true. I take back some of my – I would also say Terminator 2 is the best of the franchise if you don't count the leaked tape from Terminator Salvation of Christian Bale going, oh, good for you. La-di-da-di-da. Good for you. And we're also not giving, Oh, good for you. La dee da dee da. Good for you. And we're also not giving too much as they say,

we're not giving the James Cameron his flowers right now, because this is an anti James Cameron podcast until he put end game back out. Well, what's taken so long. Marvel put end game back out, reclaim the number one spot. Do what Clem said,

do the infinity war end game, double feature. It's not too late. Do it. We'll still go. That's the one way to get people back to that. And then we go to our little bar thing where we talk about the movies

again. Before Eternals. Imagine that. Like, Eternals is going to go through the whole thing. Imagine we just go, hey, they're going to talk about Endgame in this, so let's recap it. Let's fucking do one and two. Did you see Teenage Thanos hanging out there? Oh, Bob, you're on a set with Feige. Come on, do the damn thing. Do it. Do you see Teenage Thanos hanging out there? Oh, Bob. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

It would be incredible. Orton, you're listening. Talk to Feige. You guys probably know each other. Yeah. Meanwhile, we go back to Natasha and Clint. They are down in the KGB archives. Clint stops looking right as he found the answer.

The Watchers literally – it's like when you're watching someone play a video game that you've already beat. And you're like, oh, I know what to do. It's so frustrating. Just go up and he drops it's like that picture you know that picture of the guy like mining away at the diamonds and then he walks away right as he got there and then the other guy's going it's like that meme i'll put it in if people don't know it um and the watchers are fired he's like i cannot believe this guy is not finding what he's looking for here clint natasha finally find it it's zola is what they're looking for here. Clint and Natasha finally find it. It's Zola is what they're looking for. They want archives to Zola because he's run through analog and what's his name? Ultron has not run through analog. He's a whole studio thing. So they finally find it.

They talk to Zola. They try to enlist his help and they fight a bunch of Ultrons using the Red Guardian shield. In this sequence, Clint sacrifices himself for Natasha in a very endgame-esque way. I was happy Clint got his Vormir moment. They fought for it. Natasha got hers, fucking idolized. Clint got his. That was great to see. I felt when Big Baby, Uatu is his name.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the Watcher's name. I think so, yeah. When he's like, you know, this is our last hope and it's black widow and hawkeye get the porno like haha what an idiot what a fucking idiot like the how how does like the world always get completely wiped out of heroes and those two assholes are the only two left like is it just because the bad guys don't even have them on their radar and like it's kind of like when barstool gets canceled and they're like you know dave portnoy dan katz kevin clancy and then they just leave like me and you like the minnows around they just go after the sharks right like maybe that's why

they don't go after a fucking uh black widow and black widow is also pretty badass in this episode too they should have gave her like an outfit like that in the movies like the all of the uh padding was almost more realistic too because i liked black widow but the movies like the all of the uh padding was almost more realistic too because i liked black widow but when i watch back some of the youtube videos where people have pointed out like her falling like 17 stories and hitting every rock on the way down and then like landing superhero wise and still having her makeup perfectly done and just running i'm like oh yeah she's i mean at the end of the day they do point out in that movie she's like the human adventure kind of yeah she does and she does the little pose right yeah why don't you pat her up like this episode she looked badass she looked like a warrior at the end of the apocalypse which

she was here um and at the same time ultron finally finds the watcher and they start fighting the big baby is throwing hands like you wouldn't believe he's throwing headbutts like we described he has like a suit of armor and their fight is very cool animation wise too because it's going through multiverses going through some places we know some places we don't know they went through time square at one point some real places some mcu places and natasha and clint talk to zola they finally get him in the ultron suit which glows up green i thought that was cool i think they retreat i forget where they left clint natasha story but at this point the story basically shifts to ultron and the watcher fighting through multiverses uh the watcher

eventually retreats he's like i i can't fight this guy on my own and he meets with strange supreme at the end of the multiverse strange supreme is is like, I want to hear you say it. I want to hear you say you're going to interfere, motherfucker. And he's like, all right, I was wrong. Let's do this. We know in the next episode, they're probably going to have to build the multiverse Avengers with characters we've seen in What If,

which I kind of thought maybe they would do. But now that we're actually going to get it, I think it's going to be awesome. I think it's going to be these but there's there might be more captain carter t'challa star lord um strange supreme and then party thor who else could they put in here yeah i didn't even think of first of all i didn't think of avengers as like a potential thing so yeah so star so Star-Lord T'Challa. Because we got a zombie episode. I don't know if you're going to get a hero from that necessarily.

We got the episode where it ended with Pepper and Shuri just revealing the truth to the world. I don't know if they'll be involved in that. Shuri's going to be involved in that, I think. I kind of felt like we hadn't heard the last of her out there. I thought she was going to become the next Iron Man. So I think that that would be one,

by the way, I'd love to just see them go into every universe and like, and where's 20 star. Oh, he died. Where's 20 star. Oh, he died.

I'd be like, oh, he died in every fucking multiverse. Of course he did. Maybe Nick Fury from the, from the murder mystery episode. Yes. I could see that episode ended with him discovering,

discovering captain America. So maybe a captain America. Do you think, I feel like you get, let's check off squid monster too. We saw him a couple of times, squid monster. There's the zombie Thanos still from the end of the,

that episode. Remember they flashed to him. I think he could get involved. Nice guy. Thanos coming maybe as well. Can we get a couple of like that? You know, ego from the end of the T'Challa episode yep yep wow he's still floating around it's a possibility so yeah now it's like okay now that we know we're gonna go through the episodes

themselves what can you open that door up to and people have already teased there's probably gonna be post-credit scene for the final episode what could that be and is there a chance that it's a live action post-credit scene how mind-blowing would that be i i've looked for post-credits in every episode too just because i never want to be late i'm scrolling through the car the credits of a cartoon that's how you know you're a junkie that's what you do like a quick look at yourself like yep this is where i am right now in my life i like that and did you get like i got big time galactus vibes from ultron like even with like the way he yeah yeah with the little thing too yeah yeah oh yeah when he got big and tried to like bite down on that universe that was wild that almost reminded me

of the uh mysterio spider-man fight where it gets so trippy that you're like oh my god what am i even watching here uh and i mean we'll just say this off the jump we're gonna say it this is for the finale it airs we need strange we need the sorcerer supreme we need him that motherfucker is number one on the such list oh that guy is yeah with fucking evil and sadness and monsters and shit imagine it ends with him like jumping into live action and like dusting himself off and we could tell from the end of what if that he's the one from the spider-man trailer how much intrigue would that add to spider-man the people watching on youtube just saw my head explode right there holy shit and like there's not much more you could

do to make people more excited for that movie i think we're all like level 10 already but that would break the scale that would go to level 11 and then it makes your um what if or any of the cartoon series and obviously the tv series are in that a must watch because this has legitimate impact this is all coming together this is all fucking coming and this is how we do it, Bob. We fucking ruin it for ourselves. And anything that doesn't get fixed by the end of next episode, we then have the secret episode coming. So there's plenty of time for everything to get put together.

Mark my words, September 30th, 2021, Captain Carter, and maybe someone else from this show, will be in Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness. Probably Strange Supreme as well. I think those are the two most likely to make the jump into the Multiverse of Madness, which is getting heavy X-Men rumors now. Heavy X-Men rumors. So I don't want to excite you too much, but let's get into some what-if scenarios that listeners have sent in. The first of which comes from a friend, Coach Duggs.

He sent in a couple this week. So I sent out, I said, let's get some pop culture what-ifs this week. Just in general, the world, what happens if this happens, if this happens, whatever. He said the first one, what if Dwayne Johnson made it in the NFL? I thought that was a very interesting one. Does he become like a Deion Sanders primetime personality and then still go on to movies afterwards? Does he, because he's from a wrestling family,

maybe do wrestling later in life, just as like a Pat McAfee kind of, this is my dream. I want to do a couple matches and get it over with. I don't know. I want to believe that. I want to believe he's basically Michael Strahan with, you know,

even more charisma and even more success across touches all the different um genres of pop culture but i'll tell you i just i think i saw into it i think i was dabbling with a little too much of the three chi multiverse and i think i actually went there the rock hurts his knee which then means he can't wrestle and you know what i'm looking at right now basically and a world without the rock is basically the world of dr strange at the end of the strange supreme right it's everyone's just oil dripping from the sky sadness everywhere someone posted i think it was like the 20-year anniversary of the uh people's elbow where he know the slide yeah yeah i saw that i forgot about that i was like what did they mean the slide I go, that is one of the greatest things. I forgot all about it.

And I said, thank God that man exists in my life. And if he doesn't go through the Rocky Maivia era, who knows if he even develops this personality, if he develops the real life, like going through the paying the dues and then becoming like such a likable guy. I don't even know. Yeah. Cause like if, if say, you know know you could just rest on your nest egg of however millions of dollars you have he's not getting into wrestling he's not going to build his way up from the top to the bottom if it's a dream of his he's going to make it in the nfl even if he even if he like you know gets hurt he would

be like the lawrence taylor coming in to have a match with bam bam that would be he would be like this special football attraction people would be like this special football attraction. People would be like, boo. This guy could never be a wrestler. Why is he even there right now? Vince McMahon's losing it right now. He sent in another one and I don't have any answer to this one. No answer. But I just want to throw

it out into the universe, the multiverse, if you will. He said, what if Apple never fired Steve Jobs? That's a big real life one where it's like, I don't know, probably don't have this. Probably don't have the thing I'm talking to you on. It's probably different in some way,

by the way, the listeners, I don't know if the listeners have ever seen this. It's adorable. This is Luke's drawing of Yoda here. Come on, come on. Adorable.

This is old man Yoda, not baby Yoda baby i think that was old man yoda yeah yeah i think because it was as he's watching empire strikes back might be baby yoda i think he's got i think the top uh the top of his head though i think those are wrinkles i like that i'm gonna say if steve jobs uh if if so so i don't even know i don't i've never i didn't see any of the, all the Steve Jobs movies that come to him. He got fired. I saw both and I barely remember them. So he got fired and then came back?

Oh, okay. He got fired. Okay. I know this. Okay. I was thinking the beginning of Apple. I think this is like, you know, when they were in the transition and then he came back and obviously went nuts. It's not to what it is now. It's definitely it's like you almost need that. Or it's like apple is everything we want like these big tech companies to be like that guy was has like more of a hand in everything seth rogan played him seth rogan played him yeah

yeah he's good that's a good guy to have as as was so it's like the world is just a better place because everything is done the right way if apple doesn't cut corners neither does google and all the other things that these tech giants you know this i saw something the other day where facebook there was a reported thing where they found like they've been trying to get into the 10 to 12 year old like to get their data because they call them like there was like they're like the the sweet spot of you know once they can hack into their like brains they can just monetize the shit out of them sounds like some ultron shit yeah we are living in some old truncheon we're i mean we have like uh what's her name carol said like we are living like that is some real deal skynet shit and like boston dynamics is just like posting shit online every single week and we're just like ha ha lol

they take us over but it's lap down. This is Jurassic Park. I see it coming. It's a good question by Dougsy, though. Andrew Harvell wrote in one that I'm reading just for you, Clem. What if Jar Jar would have been revealed as a Sith Lord? Okay. So I honestly believe this. I honestly believe the prequels are a success i honestly do 100

in my heart i don't know what like trust me to go from what is currently the pre listen prequel stan is not gonna be happy with me if i do some hard but i got a prequel stan whatever you take from the prequels and then i don't know how you get from that to a successful movie franchise especially considering the sequel franchise wasn't even a successful franchise. Granted, without George Lucas. In a word, some. Yeah, exactly. Fair.

There, I just, I, that would have been like the Darth Vader reveal with a much shittier first movie to lead to that reveal i was gonna say but like the way he was getting clowned do you think people would accept it at the time or do you think darth jar jar is a product of so many years going by and people yearning for something else like do you think if he was revealed as a sith lord in two or three people would have been like oh my god that's crazy we didn't see that coming or they'd be like are you fucking kidding me you made the joke a sith lord so i think for this to succeed you have to say that one was better right phantom menace was better yeah i i wasn't even really that excited going to clones so if we're just saying we'll say in this scenario one just isn't a priest a pole jurors people stand a flaming pile of shit then i do think that i i honestly think like a star wars reveal where this like goofy lovable guy become you know the the vader twist was crazy because he was so pure evil and

it was his dad but i just think having such like a lovable dude man that would have imagine imagine he just out of nowhere though went from his jar jar voice to like Idris Elba's voice and that was like the twist where it was like Mesa no talk like this at all and then he talks like Idris Elba or something that would be fucking crazy or he just he starts doing the Darth Vader breathing and he doesn't even have like a machine

breathing for him it's just this by the way this is a good comment thing comment if you wanted the Darth Jar Jar twist. If you think it would have worked, let us know your thoughts on the Darth Jar Jar Star Wars thing if you're a Star Wars fan. And make sure you like the video if you haven't. Make sure you subscribe. The views are going up.

The subscribers are going to the channel. It's doing well. Thank you to everyone for your support. We got to keep it going, though. We got to keep it going if you want more My Mom's Basement. Bob, I'm going to have you start reading out the percentages of people who watch that aren't subscribers we're pretty low we're gonna start shaming people um this one was kind of kevin couldn't join us this week he'll probably be back for the finale but this one was kind of

for both of you guys is back to the future fans what if eric stoltz finished and starred in back to the future do you think it would have beenz finished and starred in Back to the Future? Do you think it would have been the success that it is today? It would have been – this is extreme because I watched – what was it? Was it the movies that made us? They had the Back to the Future, the new series, right? That was the only one I watched so far. Jurassic Park, when you got to watch it, so good. I got to, okay.

It seems crazy to think, and I don't think it would be that bad but it almost would have been like phantom menace it just could have been so much better and i think everyone would have been bummed out i don't think it would have been that bad bad but i mean if you just see the little that they show it's just not funny and it's just that dude just doesn't have it and mcfly i mean he was made for that fucking role so uh yeah have you heard about the back to the future novelization by the way no is that there was one beforehand or someone did it afterwards i think it was afterwards and i read about it yesterday just breathe i read like a brief blurb about it but i think it'd be worth looking into i'm pretty sure it strays from the

movie tremendously and it's like notorious for being one of the worst novelizations ever written because they just change things from the movie for no reason. So I think that's worth looking into maybe for a blog or something. I don't know. Another one from Roy. He said, what if Harrison Ford turned down Han Solo? Kind of the same thing in the Star Wars realm where it's like,

man, I don't know. Who else could be Han Solo with that suaveness? I know they tested some good high-profile actors. I get it. But there's only one Han Solo in my opinion, and that's why I wasn't down with Solo to begin with. I was like, why are you making a movie where we don't get to see Harrison Ford as Han Solo? I don't want to see anyone but Harrison Ford be Han Solo. It's kind of a Tony Stark, Robert Downey Jr. thing for me. Do you think it'd succeed?

Do you think Star Wars still becomes a phenomenon just because the special effects are so good and you have everyone else in place and then you have a guy who can play maybe 70% of the role? Even the second best choice is like 70% of the role. It's true. I feel like was Kurt Russell tested for that or something? Okay, yeah, that would be an example of someone.

All right, there's one thing, without a shadow of a doubt, I know happens in this scenario. He doesn't have that earring. That is a Han Solo earring right there. And, hey, Harrison Ford's a cool-ass motherfucker with it, without it, all that kind of stuff. He's a fucking pilot. Indiana Jones, all these other American graffitis.

Half a pilot, as we mentioned. Yeah, half a pilot. He can fly. He can a pilot. He can fly. He can take off. He can land. He gets it up. Yeah, he gets it up. That earring, though, that's some Han Solo swagger in there.

By the way, Kurt Russell auditioned for both Han Solo and Luke Skywalker. Damn. How about that? Didn't get either part. There's a ton of those interesting audition stories. Like Tom Hiddleston, Loki, auditions to be Thor initially. And they were like i think you should be the brother and what a decision that was based on 10 years later to show that loki is like

i'm more interested in that character now than ever there was a big thing with zoolander too right now right i think that that there was like an orchestra that came out and the original cast was jillian jake gyllenhaal. Over Ben Stiller? No, it was Hans. Oh, over Owen Wilson. Yep, yep. And then I don't know if Will Ferrell, if Mugatu was someone else, but I couldn't imagine.

I don't know. I love Gyllenhaal, but I feel like Owen Wilson was like the perfect, him and Ben Stiller, the perfect dynamic. Oh, no, I don't think that's one of those movies. I don't think you can really change anything. I don't think it really works. By the way, Zoolander, I hate to say the word underrated, but that movie is just – it holds up to this day. I think it is underrated at this point.

I don't see people bring it up nearly as much as they should. My brother's first car was called Blue Steel. That's what he called it. This one from Jay Hicks is a very quick one. I can answer this one in a flash. He said, what if Oasis asked you to be their bassist and go on tour with them? I'd be on tour with Oasis right now, brother.

Exactly what the answer would be. Well, Bob, I actually have a barstool what if that i've been meaning to ask i had it written down it kind of fits in perfectly with the last two the the what if casting and the what if uh band what if smitty had remained the drummer of pop punk what we wouldn't have had we wouldn't have had the show at irving plaza because the whole reason i think frankie joined was was because Dave wanted to book that show. And Frankie was hurt or Smitty was hurt from rough and rowdy.

So we were like, we need a drummer like Nat, like now. So we wouldn't have had the show at Irving Plaza, which was like one of the greatest nights of my life. So no offense to Smitty, but taking away that for me would be tough. Taking it from the team.

Smitty Smitty. I don't know if we, tough taking it for the team smitty smitty i don't know if we er was he in the band when we did my real girlfriend because that one had programmed drums no because frankie was in the music video so no we would have had that still you don't have or no we wouldn't have had that i guess you don't have dave's right hand man i don't know what kind of pop what kind of of pumping up. True. That low key was like a big thing for us. Like, not like we weren't like Frankie,

you're in the band because we want Dave's approval. But once Frankie was in the band, Dave paid a lot more attention to pop punk. So that was always like very nice as well. So yeah, Dave would pay less attention to it. He probably wouldn't have done rise page for use rise with Smitty on stage,

you know, hashtag. Thank you. Smitty. Yeah. Andy Dick was a, was going to be, um,

Magatu. I despise Andy Dick. Much. Yeah. I don't, I'm not a big Andy Dick fan either. He was on like, he was on like celebrity rehab one season.

I think that I watched. Yep. Yep. With Dr. Drew. That sounds like Andy watched. Yep. Yep. With Dr. Drew. That sounds like Andy. Yeah. Markel wrote in, and this one is very interesting.

He said, what if blade and the original X-Men movie bombed at the box office? Now those were huge for the creation of the MCU. Kevin Feige was involved with X-Men. He credits blade for being the thing that started it all. He actually says that about blade which is crazy i think about that as like tim burton's batman but i guess you got into the realm of the batman and robins of the batman forever's which people didn't love there's even the fantastic four movies which were post blade and x-men but they feel dated in that way they feel campy and stuff so

i think we're in a world where dc is probably still making their movies i think they're on the same path a lot of batman movies maybe a superman movie here and there we don't have the justice league we don't have their interconnected universe but i think we probably get a lot of those fantastic four style movies from marvel i think marvel produces like green lantern style movies where it's like they just get a star. They try to put him in a random act. They put him in a suit or, you know, I don't know. Bunch of Spider-Man reboots.

A full list of half measures. That's what we're getting right here. Nothing good. Nothing. It's all half measures. Uncle Ben's dying a hundred times. I started swimming with that. And you know what?

In this scenario, Wesley Snipes plays uncle ben in one of the scenarios yeah and he also refuses to open his eyes for the or close his eyes for the scene where he dies so they'll have to cgi it like blade three yes there's that famous gif which is very bizarre do you imagine if the big baby had fucking eyeballs just little blacks in the middle it would just change his entire look it would imagine he had a pacifier too that'd be hysterical someone's got to photoshop that for us please

the watcher with a pacifier in his mouth as the big baby maybe with a rattle if you could put a rattle on his hand too make him like the new year's baby all right do you want to get into your what if with jerry you can give it a little intro or reintroduction you mentioned it at the start but what is this what if you hosted

with jerry thornton the barstool sports uh patriots blogger so our what if is what if tom brady had re-signed with the patriots to play until he was 45 it's it's apparently you know reportedly the one thing he wanted to do Patriots got cold feet about it because they're like who the hell is going to play until they're 45 in the NFL and that's before we knew for sure Tom Brady is actually a cyborg so uh we go yeah he might be one of these uh Ultron might have put his AI into a Tom Brady body definitely could be the case so obviously Patriots fans the Brady era ended on a pick six by Logan Ryan. The last pass ever caught from Tom Brady in a Patriots uniform was by a Tennessee Titan,

who then took it to the house. And then, obviously, we had the divorce last year. Brady goes on, wins the Super Bowl. And it was kind of really fucked up that I even had Jerry do this. I was thinking about it. I was like, this is really – like he's basically watching his ex getting hotter and, you know, happier without him as they're kind of in this like weird rookie quarterback. Yeah, you know what they say about bullies.

It's when they're hurting at home. When you see Tony Stark die over and over again, you're like, I want to make someone else feel some misery for a change. That's true. That's true. So, you know, it turns out I'm the fucking bad guy at all this. So, Jerry, as only Jerry could do – I mean, I said this and I truly do mean it. Like, we have great bloggers here at Barstool.

Like, there is no guy that is more, like, entrenched with their team than Jerry. Jerry and Karamis are, like, the same in that regard. So, there is no one else in the world. He's written books about the Patriots. Literally, like, published books that you could go buy at the bookstore today. So, this is the best guy for this question. And he's also a nerd. So, you'll get some

Marvel references in there as well. You'll get some nerdy stuff in there as well. Jerry, thank you for doing the show. This is now going to look like I'm going to like morph into just an older person because Jerry kind of just looks like an older me. We're back making new memories in a new world. And I found that the best way to hold on to these memories is to turn them into art that lasts forever from PaintYourLife.com. You can get a professional hand-painted portrait created from any photo, or you can combine photos. You can literally mix and match like, hey, I like this picture of this person, but this picture of this person, can we put them together? Make it look like they got their arm around each other. You can. You can do that.

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We have a very special. What if it's a wild week here at Barstool? Obviously this is a, this blog in its soul and its DNA. It is a Boston blog and it is, I mean, it's like the biggest regular season game and like, I guess, game game, you could say in terms of NFL, any sport at all. So we have our weekly what ifs and this what if was a very special one that I had thought of. And then Jerry had gotten a text about this from someone saying, I think we're going to need a what if a Disney plus style. What if about what if Brady had stayed with the Patriots? So the what if for this week,

that's kind of the one that's on everyone's mind is what if the Patriots had offered that contract to Tom Brady, you know, years ago when everything was still good and said, Tom, we want you here to your 45 like you want. And it's like, we're an arranged marriage. We're going all the way to the end here. And we're going to get to that four or five together and everything that comes along the way. And there's nobody, nobody at bar school, nobody in the world. Let's be honest that I'd want to hear this. What if then Mr. Jerry Thornton himself, Mr. Old Balls to the OGs, Patriots writer, Patriots scribe, Patriots media personality. Shit, he's radio.

He's on the videos, everything he has. Do your pod. Get the podcast now. Subscribe. Rate five stars stars whatever they say these day the kids and remember to like share and subscribe yes there we go bang that like button which i'm not going to tell anyone to do you you live your own lives i'd appreciate if you did but you know what you you're adults exactly so we're going to go to the multiverse. And what if the patrons had given Tom Brady that, you know, contract till his age 45, Jerry, not only is a great writer and knows all his Patriot stuff, has some contacts first name basis with Mr. Belichick and Mr. Kraft

occasionally. Right. Do you, do you go first name with them? I never go first name with Mr. Kraft, but I can, I can confirm. I got permission from the horse's mouth a while ago that I can call him RKK. That's right. Can I confirm this, that I've got into that inner circle of people that can call you RKK? And I was told you've jumped way over that circle. So there you go. There it is. And not only is Jerry, you know, knows all his Patriot stuff.

Absolutely great writer. Big into the sci-fi stuff. I've talked about it on Pop Files. Big Tolkien guy. Big, we were talking before we went live here, Marvel guy. Jerry's been said when the Iron Man trailer came out, he said, I've been waiting for this since I was nine years old, reading comic books in the back of my parents' car. So he's into the game. He knows what we're talking about here. He's been watching all the stuff on Disney Plus and everything else in the MCU. So Jerry,

thanks for coming for the basement. It's not an easy week for you too. This is, this was by no means when I did this, I felt like bad doing that. That's coming from a giant fan, but you're having yourself a very tough week right now. Mostly I imagine ups and downs left and rights looking at the, you know, the old pictures you and your beloved Thomas together. Yeah. It's a, it's a blended drink of mixed emotions, like an entire bar room poured into one blender.

And I still don't know how to, how to process it. I've got best friends who right after Brady signed with Tampa, you know, showed up at a, at a cookout with a brand new bucks hat that still had the hologram sticker on it and said, I don't care if the Patriots never win again. I have some people that can't say Brady's name without slipping an F bomb into the middle of it. And I'm just, I'm just a child of divorce. Like, you know, why can't you just get along? Can you figure this out?

And, you know, I'm only not one of those fun children of divorces that are happy because they get two Christmases instead. And all this week is done. Clem is brought up all the vitriol again. And everyone once again is dissecting how did this happen and why didn't this happen? And and how could they not have worked it out and who's in the wrong? And every report tells a different tale.

All we know is that Brady said he wanted to play till he's 45. The Patriots ownership said they wanted him to finish his career here and he won a ring in Tampa. And right now, if you're on a Belichick loyalist, as I am, you're standing there in the gym class with your shorts down around your ankles and everyone's pointing and laughing at you been there done that bringing back some deep-seated memories here i forgot i even had right there but it's a tough and then you have adele every fucking time i go on twitter i get the adele video popping back up that can't be did you like how many times have you watched did you watch it once or you're just doing it a hundred times and crying in a ball or what's going on uh i spent a lot of time

curled up in the bathtub fully clothed with my knees crushed in my chest listening to it and uh it's it's not helping you know you would think that her bittersweet melodies and haunting lyrics would somehow bring comfort no because again that video it's just you know all the good times just being tea bagged into your face by a guy who's down there living his best life. And again, I can't stop the analogies about a breakup, but I mean, like you, no matter how amicable a split is, you still want the other person to kind of go to pot. You know, you want to see them pack on their COVID-19 weight and, you know, stop shaving. And again, to, to use a Marvel analogy, you want them to look like Thor in end game.

Yes. You know, it's a bathrobe and like a gut out to here or whatever. And instead he's Steve Rogers after he came out of that, that with the super soldier CRM, he came out of that little container and he's happier than he's ever been. He looks better. He looks younger than he did when he was 25 years old. You know, he's just, he's doing the equivalent of your ex, like just posting on Instagram,

like pictures of making like a hard hand with their billionaire boyfriend on his yacht. Yup. And so, excuse me, in this world, we obviously know what's happened. Tom Brady goes to tampa gets the super bowl takes rock with him to tampa as well gets the super bowl steven shea is out there he's posting is selling his merch that's your merch jerry's selling right there he's out there living his best life he's fucking rolling his giovanni bernards now he's feeling himself and uh so what happens in this world so we'll go back in time. I'd say maybe like 2017, 20 is that it's,

it's before the ramp Superbowl for sure. It's a couple of years before that, right. Where these things that start coming around about, Hey, Tom wants to play until he's 45. We're all like, Oh, 45, that fucking crazy Brady thinks he's going to be able to keep doing it. Right. And we're all, you know, all, all takes exposed could basically retire off of the amount of shit that we were probably saying

when we heard those numbers being dropped. And that's around the time where they said, hey, we want to have you come in until the age of 45. So Jerry, in this world, the deal gets done. I don't know how it gets done. It's probably just the hoodie saying, all right, taking a look at the landscape. I think the Jimmy G stuff might've fucked him up a little. There's a million other fish in the sea. He been with what one beautiful prize fish forever at that point you know everyone's having questions about brady maybe because the receiving core isn't what it could be as well right not kind of what he has down in tampa so let's just say the name goes on the bottom of the paper right there the contract mr rkk approves it and we have tom brady until the age of 45 in in New England no matter what how do you think you see the last few years or the last year and then the next few years

playing out in terms of just for let's say Brady Belichick Portnoy we'll throw him in there just because that kind of goes into thing the RKK and yourself in this scenario yeah if you if you go back to the the real genesis of this there's, there's a school of thought that it was when they drafted Jimmy Garoppolo that Brady was resentful. Like, what is this guy doing looking over my shoulder? Okay, even if you accept that, which I don't, that was four Super Bowls and three championships ago. So if it bothered him, it didn't bother him all that much. But I think it was around the time starting in like 2017 18 there was tension there oh with his trainer this guy alex guerrero who runs tb12 fitness with him and he just started

getting this bigger and bigger role around the team and he was allowed on the sidelines he was allowed in the facility allegedly he started giving like advice to players that contradicted what the medical staff was was telling him so belichick kind of said you're right no more of this like he's not taking the team playing to road games and then he kind of got talked his way back into it all right let's say belichick never says that about guerrero never starts putting the clamps on him and just gives him full unfettered access. Brady's happy. They sign him to a deal.

Well, the first thing that happens is Gronk doesn't retire. I mean, that's just in the immediate because he hung him up in 2019 because he didn't like the way the treatment he was getting from the team, he had some surgeries and had to get resurgeries. And, um, you know, so they, if they just said, look, fine, you can work on pliability, you can lose some weight, whatever Gronk stays. And the 2018, uh, 2019 season, excuse me, is a million times different because by the time 2019 rolls around with Gronk, the tight end position basically was like non-existent. It was just a bunch of like, you know, protocol droids like running around trying to catch balls. But they tried to placate Brady like, OK, we'll bring in Demarius Thomas. He's a physical specimen. He's really good. Look, we drafted Nikhil Harry. Hey, we'll bring in Antonio Brown.

And Thomas didn't make the roster. Nikhil Harry was hurt for half the season. By the time he came back, Brady had sized him up and found him lacking. And so it was just Julian Edelman and a bunch of nobodies. And we know what happened to Antonio Brown. He lasted 11 days. They needed him to not get crazy for five months. Give us five months of just acting like a rational adult. 11 days in, he's texting a threatening text to a woman with other people on the thread and included pictures of her kids.

So they had to cut him. None of these things probably happen if Gronk stays and Brady is happy because Brady wouldn't have tuned out Nikhil Harry. And, you know, maybe Antonio Brown senses that, you know, I can't act up because Brady has my back. I think there was a sense that Brady's tuned out. Why do I need to behave myself here? So, yeah, it begins with Gronk. And now you've got a viable offense going into 2019.

So as you, I believe you call Alex Guerrero the Yoko Ono of the Patriots, right? That's the guy who kind of broke it all up. Absolutely. Like, if I ever see him, you know, I'm going to do that thing that, you know, Woody yelled at Buzz when they were stranded at the dino gas. Like, everything was happy in my life until you came along with your cardboard spaceship and your lasers and took away everything I cared about. So, yeah, that's true.

And that's the thing. You see Gronk right now. It looks like he found, you know, the founding youth down there in Florida, Pounce DeLeon. It's like, nope, that's just Alex Guerrero making it work. So we have Gronk healthy, happy. Brady's happy, which then makes happy Antonio Brown, who, as we saw, you know, before he got the COVID,

looked pretty good at the, you know, beginning of this season and had his moments last season. Crazy's crazy, crazy and crazy's gonna be crazy no matter what but if as the patriots have showed you those crazy guys become very productive and a little more sane when they're in that you know the patriot way the new england system whatever you want to call it uh and then right and in addition you know you mentioned brady happy. We spent the better part of his last couple of years here, just going over his body language. Like just, I don't know. Does he see, seems a little cranky, you know, he's not really smiling. He wasn't showing up to optional workouts.

Um, you know, I have happy Brady maybe comes to those and doesn't walk around with a puss on his face. And, you know, that translates into the, into the rest of the team because things did seem tense. I was down there for OTAs and he wasn't there and the media crowd around Belichick. And first question was about Brady not being there. And he just, you know, predictably said, you know, I'm not going to talk about people who aren't here. We'll talk about the people on the field and he just you know predictably said uh you know uh i'm not going to talk about people who aren't here we'll talk about the people on the field and everyone just sort of scattered and just between me and you i'm standing there just said a bill there's another controversy that's gone on this this off season he looked at me like rolling his eyes like oh where's he going

with this and i said a lot of people are saying that John Bon Jovi should not have been put in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. What are your thoughts, anyone? Jesus. Yeah, it was about time. Like, OK. And I got I got so much crap from the other writers like, oh, what are you throwing them softballs here? So shut up. I'm the one asking the tough questions. You guys don't have a balls to bring it up. Um, having said that, like Brady shows up to that OTAs, that's a better team. That is a more prepared team. Maybe in the kill, Harry comes along better. It doesn't, doesn't get hurt and becomes a semblance of the guy. He was supposed to be when he was drafted before DK Metcalf 32

picks before DK Metcalf. picks before DK Metcalf um yeah I think a a happy Brady who's who's not sitting there going you know what I'm gonna build my business and I'm gonna do my Facebook documentaries or whatever maybe gets back more towards the 2014 Brady that we we know and love yep and I think because that and you know that season I think everyone's like Brady's last hurrah and all that it ends against the Titans in Foxborough right and everyone's I'm sure the the everyone's saying you know ding dong the witch is dead it's you know Lord Vader is burning as his uh body goes and all that kind of stuff um they still had home field advantage for a round, despite, you know,

it was the wild card round, right? It was the wild card round. Yeah, absolutely. And I was at the final game of the regular season, and they had a nice lead at the end and a couple of minutes to go. And Ryan Fitzpatrick does the Fitz magic thing and then puts them in the end zone with like seconds left. And it happened in front of me and my,

my whole family. So, you know, again, Brady's last play, that's his last regular season game. His last play was a pick six. Yes.

Logan Ryan, right. Rutgers zone, Logan Ryan. Exactly. And I know at that point, yeah. Like you,

like you said, the Darth Vader on the funeral pyre, the whole rest of the world was running around in the trees, you know, singing the nyub nyub song. Okay, the nerd level in this thing is astronomical. We're in the basement, baby. That's what we can do. We're allowed to say whatever we want, be ourselves. Let your hair down, Jerry. I wouldn't have it any other way, man.

I appreciate this. You know what? Actually, maybe this is going too far afield. Like, OK, whatever alternate timeline we're talking about here. The most recent book that I wrote, Six Rings, the first paragraph, it's March 2020. And I said, this is exactly how I thought the world would look if Tom Brady ever left. Everything is shut down. The schools are closed. The economy is collapsed, like societal disorder all over the place. So who knows? Maybe if he's happy, Guerrero's not planning to set up shop down at Tampa and closing up his business. Maybe he figures out that there's a way to help stop the spread of viruses. I don't know. Too much to believe. Maybe dehydrated algae and spirulina and alkalines or whatever the Christ they eat.

Maybe that somehow stops the spread of a pandemic. So I think we can agree on this. In this crazy little world we live in, this multiverse, 45, you know, here's the contract till 45 in New Englandland we say at the very least a healthy gronk a happy brady uh not so crazy antonio brown lead the patriots to at least the two seed and the home you know home field advantage with that buy and then once belichick gets that extra week off to prepare and everyone's fresh for the divisional round which is when the season starts for you guys up there in new England. Right. We're all grinding through 16, 17 weeks. Actually, I'm a giants fan.

We make it to about four. Now we sometimes get to October if the rest of the vision is really bad. But you guys at the very least, you get a chance for that second round. Then you never know what happens. You face, I guess, in this scenario, you'd probably face the chiefs chiefs end up winning the Super Bowl that year. You're never going to, like, I think to this day, if somehow Brady ended up back on the Patriots and he showed up in Arrowhead, I don't think Patty Mahomes and Andy Reid would be happy to see those two guys

coming through the door. They're just the guys with the black hats, right? So at the very least, we have that. And at most, the novel coronavirus does not spread to the US and the rest of the world. And it may be kind of just pinch, you know, maybe Guerrero flies over to Wuhan and is able to nip it in the bud before it really gets crazy. And all those videos that we didn't really even know or believe what the fuck was going on. It just seems so, so wacky. Maybe we nip it in the bud and we don't live in this world that we're still kind of living in now, if we're being honest. What do you think happens with, like, I'm trying to figure out, do you think the Bucs, do you think we get Jameis back on the Bucs?

I mean, 30-30 was an electric season. I think we were all rooting for that 30-30. Last game of the season, pick six. Jameis gets the 30-30 club. Bruce Arians, I don't know if old man Bruce could even do another year with Jameis. I think he might've lost it. If Jameis comes back, there's a lot of different ways that this goes. You're talking about butterfly effect.

I mean, we're hitting the entire NFL. You guys really fucked it up. And think about all the other quarterbacks who were being kind of bandied about by their teams and whoever the motherfucker that Brady said, who they, they chose him over Brady and that kind of stuff. There's a lot, we there, this, this thing goes a lot a lot of different ways, as the watcher in New England tells me. What if we keep it simple and say that Tampa looks around the landscape and says, hey, here's a guy who's out of work and kind of can do some things and, you know, won an MVP and everything. Let's get Cam Newton in here.

There's a guy, you know, and Newton who threw all of, you know, eight touchdowns in New England in 15 games. Like maybe he goes down to Tampa with, you know, Mike Evans and Cameron Brayton and that core that he has to throw to and says, all right, you know, throws maybe 11 or

even 12. Dare we live the dream. A man score. Godwin, you know, Godwin, okay, let's give him 13 and go crazy. I think that's the lowest hanging fruit there. And you know what the other thing is, whoever Arians had, he's going to run Arians system. He's so proud of and whatever. And I'm convinced that around this time last year, Brady went over to him with apparel wire cutters and just clip that cord on his headset, his microphone and said, I'm doing what I'm going to do from now on. You stand there. Every time I see Bruce Arians now, as I watch Brady run the Patriots offense and Belichick confirmed that a couple of hours before you and I started talking here, he confirmed that that's our offense. You can recognize it. It's, we know all these plays.

I'm convinced if you went over to like Arians and just kind of went like this with his headphones, you're going to hear a like yacht rock, you know, it's going to be Kenny Loggins or Holland oats or something. There's no way he's involved in the playmaking, the play calling. It's just Brady doing his own thing to the point where one of the early games this year, right? We saw them sending a play and him just go

nope, just told Lefwich, I got this. And then of course throws like a 40 yard bomb to Antonio Brown or whatever. So I kind of like that. We're going to say, I like the Cam Newton angle. We're going to say, I like the Cam Newton angle. We're going to say,

Cam, you know, he looks at the landscape after getting cut by the Panthers says, I'm going to stay in the division two times a year. I could shove it up the Panthers ass. He goes to Tampa. Cause they have the opening. Cause Jameis,

they've already, you know, gone on that ride enough times. Now, Cam, you get it. You said Mike Evans, that guy is made for him.

Kelvin Benjamin was brought in before he ate himself out of Carolina, and he became a force for the one year with Cam because he was the big body where Cam always is selling those passes high. That's high to Nikhil Harry. That's not high to Mike Evans. There's no such thing as high to Mike Evans unless he's hanging out with Johnny Manziel, right? His college teammate.

So I kind of like that. That's the point. And I might be unfair to Cam Newton because he, by his own admission, and that video he did with his dad there, that 40 minute, you know, kind of sitting on the 50 yard line video. And he said, look, I'd never been asked to do the things that Dillon was asking me to do. I never had to identify the mic. I never had to worry about like, you know, blocking coverage in any of that kind of stuff. So, OK, maybe he goes down to Tampa and he's a better system fit there.

I mean, I like the guy. and any of that kind of stuff. So, okay, maybe he goes down to Tampa and he's a better system fit there. I mean, I like the guy. He's certainly smart enough to work in a lot of systems. The Patriots thing in him was just a terrible fit. But, you know, maybe that Arians thing of, you know, wait until the play begins and then, you know, look for who's open. However, that works. Forget the pre-snap reads. Just do what I tell you to do.

Maybe he thrives. I just can't imagine that he was going to all of a sudden be 2015 Cam by any stretch. That guy was a motherfucker too. The gift, the infinite gift of him nodding with the towel on his head, that was against the Giants when he shoved it up our ass one last time. I think in this scenario, you can all agree Stephen Shea is the old Stephen Shea. He's still breaking down Bucs losses, 9-7, 8-8 seasons.

Just not fun. Nothing great there. I got to ask you, what happens to the Jets in this scenario? I mean, I don't think anything good comes out of this for the Jets. I'm just trying to figure out how more bad comes out of it. I mean, I think Zach Wilson, you guys kind of the ghost started popping back up and all that kind of stuff.

Do you just see more pain? Is that what's in your crystal ball here? The Patriots beat them twice easily with Cam Newton. They were like the saving grace of last year. Minus them, you split with them and you're looking at a 6-10 season, which is would be second worst of the Belichick era.

Yeah, I just think the Jets would have drafted a quarterback of incredible promise and fucked him up. Like it probably would be the same guys, but they would have fucked up whoever it was did you did you see a rich chimini from espn tweeted this after uh the the pats beat the uh jets in week two he said since 2000 uh i think it's yeah 2002 he said there have been four quarterbacks as rookies that threw for no touchdowns and four picks in a game. The last three of them were Jets. And you do the math on that. You go, all right. So Sanchez, that was a decade ago, different decade under Rex Ryan.

Then the other one was obviously Sam Darnold or Adam Gase. And now you've got Zach Wilson do it on a salad. So it's three different decades. Obviously, Sam Darnold or Adam Gase. And now you've got Zach Wilson doing it on a salad. So it's three different decades, three different coaches, three different quarterbacks, presumably three different systems. What's the one thing they all have in common? The goddamn Jets. The goddamn Jets.

Yep. KFC's franchise, that lives no matter what. I mean, so for people who listen to them, you know, the base with down here, my mom's based and they probably watch Wanda vision. We're going to say the jets are a Nexus being no matter what multiverse they're in, it's the same jets and it's just pain. It's just, you know, draft quarterback, question mark, question mark, question mark pain. That's kind of where we end up with the jets, no matter what happens in new England or down South.

The only way there was one day where everything could have been all right, but there was a little scribbling on a napkin resigns as HCBB resigns as HC of NYGA. And that's where we go from there. And then I guess the last thing just from a selfish version, like barstool here, I guess like we just make more money off Pat's merch last year and, you know, in 2019 and then maybe 2020, 2021, we're just, I think that's just like a, a fixed income, you know, instead of it being a variable, it's like, Nope, every single year, we're going to basically every once every we'll say two or three years, we're getting Patriots Superbowl money coming in through the merch and the

shirts and the clicks and the page views. Dave's doing something crazy at the game for his team. And we're all happy in the end. Yes. And maybe this time they, they go to the AFC championship game again, which would have made nine straight years get past Kansas city, which isn't the craziest thing they'd done at the year before. And they were heavy underdogs that year say they,

they break through and they beat San Francisco. It didn't play their best ball there in 2019 um and then maybe i get the the biggest check mark in my my bucket list ever since i saw carabas on a duck boat with the red socks i've said and i i've said to members of the patriots like what we get a guy on there and for the socks and I can't get on, on yours. And they said, well, we'll see. Okay. So maybe I get that on the duck boat and then, you know, then I would confirm this is a theory I've had this kind of what my own, what if I'm convinced that around 2001,

maybe when true blood cell got hurt, when Mo Lewis took him out, I'm convinced that I may have hit my head and everything that's happened for 20 years since is all just a dream that I'm having. And if that's the case, Oh, I'm eating that blue pill. Like keep me, keep me right here. I just, I keep being afraid I'm going to wake up and I'm on the floor of my basement and they're going, are you feeling okay? Cause you got to go back to the courthouse tomorrow. And I've never heard of barstool. What are you talking about? Barstool. There's no such thing.

Dave Portnoy? No, I never heard of him. Never. He's some low level sales guy somewhere in Newton, Mass. Right. That guy got arrested at the horse racing track the other day for throwing a fit like now. I don't you're not a writer. You work for the state and you're going to be doing that until the day you die. So, yeah, I'll stay in this reality, even if it's the reality where I only had Brady for 20 years and nine trips to the Super Bowl and and six championships. God damn it. When you just when you lay those numbers out, you said nine in a row, it's just like, Oh my God. It's one of those things that I think when there's a little bit more like distance from it all, it's, it's the Tony Gwynn stats times a million, you know, especially cause the way football is. And it's the craziest, it's the greatest dynasty. It's the greatest quarterback coach and dynasty.

I think we're ever going to see. And trust me, I make sure to remind everyone of that. Anytime I have to write about Eli Manning, I go, that guy somehow beat those motherfucking stories at one time when they could have been the immortal of immortal with the 19 and now I don't, I don't want to bring that up on the, but you have enough dealing going on this week, but I had to do it for my own sanity. Cause I'm going through some shit right now myself with my team.

But I think, I think all things considered sounds like a pretty good future. You never know what happens once you pull that string though. You never know what kind of stuff can unwind here. You know, hopefully Mac Jones becomes the answer for you guys down the road and whatnot. Hopefully that we'll see about the duck boat. That sounds like something I tell my kids when they say they want to go to Disneyland tomorrow. And I'm just like, we'll see, honey. We'll see.

But I hope I truly in my heart of hearts hope we can get you there no matter what. The Jets are going to be in pain no matter what had happened with that contract negotiations and Jerry, good luck on Sunday night. Thanks for coming down to the basement. Like I said, we'll have you back for some actual nerdy, nerdy talk. And how are we feeling? How are we feeling right now? Going into the game? Just terrified. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Petrified. Not just about what I think might happen because i think if

if possible brady will try to put up like eight touchdowns on him first of all and tell me roger goodell ginger satan doesn't have a golden horseshoe all the way up his ass because this is going to happen on sunday night okay that's not by you know accident that's by design, but Brady is 67 yards away from setting the all time record. He'll do that in the, in the first quarter, if not the first drive. Um, but I'm worried about, you know, how much he's going to try to stomp them, but also just my own wellbeing, like whether I'm going to just totally blow a gasket,

like mentally and emotionally, if I'm going to go into a fugue state, if you're just going to find me like on a walkabout somewhere, like under an assumed name, because I couldn't be able to handle this. I don't I don't it's all the emotions coming at me all at once. more than anything is that either what if either he signs and we'll live in that other reality or back in this one, that the Tom Brady variant turns out to be Mac Jones. Yes. Either way they draft him somehow move up to get him, or he just falls on the draft to them. And that he becomes either replaces the 42 year old Tom Brady who left, or he replaces the 45 year old that wins seven rings and then leaves.

Yup. He is the Kang, no matter what, it always comes back to Kang. The one who remains, I mean, that's what Brady seems like he's just the one who remains here. That seems to be the one thing we're learning across all that. So that's, so we'll say that we'll say I'll give the Pats a Superbowl, either 19 or 20, just cause I'm so used to it. I'm conditioned. So I don't know if that means you guys take down the chiefs and then take down the Niners in the Superbowl, or if it goes to the next year, we'll say the Packers make the Superbowl without the, uh, without Tom Brady taking them and the

Saints down. I think the Packers end up taking the NFC that year, even though I think we can all, Matt, we can all agree. Aaron Rodgers, a little overrated when it's all said and done, right? So we'll give you one. We'll give you one. I can't give you two up. That's a lot to be asking for for a team that has everything in the world as is. And hopefully the variant, like you said, the Matt Jones variant is the thing that keeps you guys all sleeping at night.

So, Jerry, thanks again for joining the pod. And more importantly, if you want all the Patriots fans or, Jerry, thanks again for joining the pod. And more importantly, if you want to, all the Patriots fans or any football fans in general, do your pod, iTunes, Spotify, everywhere podcasters are sold for free, basically. Yes, exactly. And we release the episodes every Wednesday, middle of the day. They're on the Barstool Pod page and whatever. And it's a blast to do.

I just needed to get through the season talking to people. I have a different guest every week. Yes. I had him Pete Shepard, W E I Boston radio legend who, before Tom Brady moved to Tampa, moved to Tampa and Pete Pete's great. I posted a video of one of the all-time great rants.

He did talk into Portnoy back in like, God, like 2008 back in the early days of barstool and it's it's one of our all-time favorite videos it's peaches dumping all over his former employers but he's got that that insight into the tampa and what's happened to them since brady got there but also really helped talk me and other pats fans down off the ledge after being one and two there's's a lot to be said for it. Yeah. I hope you get a guy like that in, uh, in the giants world because they know there's a lot of just bad going on there. A lot of motherfuckers, man. You said it. So yeah, we, we,

we have a whole other what if to go on with the giants. I think it all goes back. Our moment is when they benched Eli for Gino and then they try to make it up for Eli and they started piling on their mistakes. You go back to jerry's not getting fired quaffling getting fired instead oh boy i don't want to go to that way that is as to watch it so that is another story for another time another universe and a much more sadder universe we live in right now but uh thanks jerry jerry what's the name of the book again for anyone wants to get the newest book uh six rings the previous one is about the early days of the patriots called from darkness to dynasty if i couldn't have laughs telling these

stories i wouldn't have ever sat down at the laptop but i'm i'm proud of them and the sales have been good so um appreciate that and again it's it's do your part and i'm you know where to find me i'm on barstool 24 7 but, man, this is always a blast talking to you. Usually it's over just some kind of business meeting. This is 100 times even more fun. So, yeah, let's go get our nerd on some other time unrelated to football. And then we'll be dropping in football references instead of dropping, you know, nerd references into football talk. Exactly.

That's when Robbie's eyes go dark is when I just start talking. I get, he, I, he, he says, I get one football ref, a sports reference an episode and I always try to save it for a really good one. And like you said, we're, we always used to record. We would record on Sundays and we'd go, all right, well, I guess we'll have to wait till a seven 25. Cause you guys, it was always after the Patriots game because you guys were always like the

four 25 game. So a lot of Patriots game because you guys were always like the 425 game. So a lot of Patriots weaved into this podcast as is. We'll get you down to the base. We've got a lot of stuff coming up this winter. I saw Book of Boba Fett comes out the same day as Hawkeye. So the Hawkeye finale and I think the Book of Boba Fett. So there is a lot of different nerd stuff popping. So we'll get Jerry back down. And by that point, you might kind of know if Mac Jones is that birdie variant we've been

talking about. So thanks again, Jerry. And best of luck on Sunday, my friend. Right. Thanks, pal.