My Mom's Basement - FRIDAY BONUS EPISODE 13 - WHAT IS THE COOLEST JOB IN THE WORLD? WITH CALEB & RONE

Episode Date: October 11, 2019

Robbie is joined by Caleb and Rone (also of Barstool Sports) in the Basement this week to discuss one of the podcast's strangest topics yet: what is the COOLEST job in the world?! Could it be a spy? A DJ? Possibly an NFL Quarterback?! What about an astronaut?! Burn up, listen, and find out.You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/mymomsbasement

Hey, My Mom's Basement listeners, you can find our episodes on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube, and Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Check, check, check. I'm ready when you are. Check, check, check. Check, check. I mean, what are we checking? There's no one checking. I'm looking at levels.

I'm just looking. They all look similar to me. It's that obvious what's going on with the levels? Damn, I'm loud. I would like to think I'm friends with Dana White. I think I'm friend-like. I think it's one of those cases where you have a best friend, but you're not their best friend. Well, you didn't even say

friends, though. You just said people you know, and you definitely know Dana White. You definitely know Conor McGregor. But listen, here's the thing. You guys are just that cool. You're that cool. I got Caleb and Roan. If you know Barstool, you know them, obviously. If you don't know Barstool, they work with me here. Caleb's got Thinker.

Rowan's got the Fantasy Football Pod. They both have the Travel Show, the Storm Chasers. You guys have done pretty much everything together. And this is a long time coming because when I started My Mom's Basement, Caleb said to me, yo, when are we going to come on the pod? I think you said it because you were trying to make the chicks in the office a little jealous. No, dude. I think that's what was going on, but it became a real thing. But some people meet their spouse trying to make the chicks in the office a little jealous. No, dude. I think that's what was going on, but it became a real thing. But some people meet their spouse trying to make someone jealous.

You know what I mean? That's the plot of like 90% of rom-coms. It's like you date this chick because you made a bet with your buddy that you get with her, then you fall in love with her, then you've got to put the news to her. You've got to tell her that it's a bet. It's a whole thing. She breaks up with you, then you do some kind of you know heroic thing to to get her back chicks in the office are like the douchey jock quarterback that we're trying to make jealous and you're like the cool ass chick that chills in the mom's basement or a cool ass dude that's like

just chilling in his mom's basement and like we're gonna wind up with you at the end of this rom-com i feel it listen i'm very happy to hear that. I was on Chicks in the Office yesterday on the radio show. What? We can't get a fucking call. They were very worried that I would be stealing you guys from them, and I reassured them that it would happen. I said it's going to happen. The crazy thing about this relationship, too, is that we've already told you it's a bet. In fact, I'm kind of cool with it. In the end of the movie, yeah, you're like a cool chick. So in the movie, there's going to be no crisis resolution.

It's just going to be like, we're just going to be fucking. She's all that. It's going to be all chaos. It's all above board. But it became a real thing. And then I would tell you guys all the time, like, we need a topic. Like, let's think of a topic for the three of us to get together and talk about. Yeah.

I eventually tweeted over the last weekend. I thought that being a spy is the coolest job in the world. Yeah. Because I was watching Kingsman. I don't know if you – have you guys seen that movie? Disagree strong, but go ahead. All right. Well, I was watching Kingsman. I said spy is the coolest job in the world yeah because I was watching Kingsman I don't know if you have you guys seen that movie disagree strong but go ahead alright well I was watching

Kingsman I said spy is the coolest job in the world I tweeted it and as soon as I tweeted that I thought like that's a Caleb and Rowan topic I was like

because they're the coolest people I know they got the craziest brains I know where they're thinking outside the box exclusively so I have to

have you guys in before we get to that though I want to ask you guys two coolest people I know in the basement I feel like you're setting us up with the to that though, I want to ask you guys, two coolest people I know in the basement. I feel like you're setting us up with the cool thing. I'm going to dump some ice water on us or something. You're so cool

that we decided. What do you guys geek out about? What in your life would you say I'm a nerd about that? Oh, hell yeah. Great question. Tons of shit though. And I think that being a nerd is like nerding out about stuff is like the secret to living a long time. I dead ass think that.

I think that if you have things that you can nerd out about and like lose yourself in and just like dump all your time and your energy into, it's like that is going to keep your brain active. It's going to keep you young. It's going to keep you occupied. It's going to keep you occupied. It's going to keep your stress levels regulated. I think that is the healthiest thing to nerd out about. So I nerd out about the 76ers, Philadelphia 76ers, the Philadelphia Eagles, battle rap very heavily. And I'm trying to think of other things that I just know the ins and outs and nuances, Like NFL draft, NBA draft, that kind of shit. Most people who like sports are super nerdy, though.

Especially about drafts and stuff like that. Yeah, when people start talking about salary caps. What are you talking about, man? It's so nerdy. But I think sports fans have this conception that you guys are all the nerds. Totally, yeah. And we're the cool guys. It's like, bro like take a look

at the mirror it's called fantasy football i think and i think that a lot of people who don't watch sports do not see it that way i think that a lot of people who don't watch sports think that sports fans are super lame really yeah it's just like a vanilla like you watch the game and that's like it's like the most base like they're like these guys have the most basic hobby. You know what I'm saying? I'm not saying I feel that way, but I'm saying I think that that is – Like these Neanderthals. Yeah.

Like go root for this. Wearing jerseys of other guys. Just because you're born there. I assume football for you is something you probably geeked out about a lot like in terms of playing, like growing up and shit. Definitely growing up. Definitely until I quit playing, it was pretty much the only thing i geeked out about almost exclusively was football and i was the biggest geek what about what about post playing post retirement oh man that's that's tougher for me can we keep it on the football for a second because i want to know how you geeked out about

it like what is that what does that mean like you just like to study yeah yeah is that yeah i watched every game i was big college fan for some reason i'm from north carolina so we don't really have we do have the panthers but it's a relatively new uh team so like you don't have you don't grow up with like your parents were panthers fans and their parents parents were panthers fans so it's not like ingrained in you so like we watched the panthers it would be the team but i was like very much into the Tennessee Volunteers where my dad went. And then just all of SEC college football. And then I was playing myself, so I wanted to know everything that was going on.

During the summer, I went to all the summer camps for football. I went to Clemson, Florida, every school. Were you always awesome? No, I don't think that was the case at all. I would assume getting to college and getting to play your second strength. But maybe you nerded your way into being good. I always kind of thought of myself and it's always it's always perspective. Like if you look at it from like a guy who was like a five star recruit or something

where everyone in the nation knows he's awesome. It's just what level you're looking at the best player in your town as a kid. No. Oh, I've always thought of myself as like a a an underdog who worked his way into a good situation you geeked your way into i really did enough film you watched enough tapes you practiced enough practiced ad nauseum just because i i wanted to do it so bad you wouldn't believe how bad and that's how i always thought about i never at one point in my entire life have thought of myself as a great athlete or that's why in Barstool

now if people are like they start throwing around like let's do some athletics I never try to throw my hat in the ring because I never have thought of myself as that when I was trying my hardest so now that I'm not doing anything athletic I know that that's not a world I want to be in because I'm going to let people down. But you are

still like a better athlete than like all the other people in here but I understand that not here you probably could still throw that out probably for here yeah but it's probably not for the best you got nothing post football that you could think i i get crazy passionate about i read i read a lot i'm a big book guy people probably don't know that yeah uh which is like a i guess the genuine nerd thing and also body i mean like you read the types of stuff you read to me is like you kind of nerd out about like bettering your mind or bettering your body. You kind of like are reading a lot about what new diets are out or like what people think. Diets.

Diets one. Didn't you major in like philosophy? Religion. I did religion. I was heavy into religion during college. Interesting. I've nerded out, dude. I've nerded out.

Right now I'm trying to think what I'm nerding out about I mean it's it'd be books it'd be what I'm reading right now but that's you know it's just like different stuff it's the most genuine it's like

it's like what do they call it freebasing you're freebasing nerdom yeah that's that raw shit yeah yeah that's an uncut nerd and pictures in the books

and I do I do I love listening to music too and I know everyone does and that's the most bland thing to say but every week I've been doing a playlist that has like no one listens to it. The 10 ticklers.

The 10 ticklers. But like it has like no followers, no one listens to it but I listen to probably. I follow it. You guys do probably because you're my boys but there's probably like 3,000 followers total

and I'm listening to probably, I would guess around four or five hours a week of new music. That's pretty nerdy. That's pretty nerdy. Ever since, that to five hours a week of new music. That's pretty nerdy. That's pretty nerdy. Ever since, that's very nerdy. Of new music? Of new music.

New music, I always go back and forth on because I always want to listen to more new music than I do. But it sucks. But I always want, yeah. It sucks. It's like going back to the stuff that I love. Dude, I listen to probably, honestly, 250 to 300 songs a week

that just came out that past week. And I have a hard time getting 10 for the 10 take list. Where do you find them? Do you just go to Spotify's playlists and shit? Because Spotify does a lot of playlists now based on songs that came out in the past week, whether it's, you know, the main one is New Music Friday because that's their top 100 songs,

but then you can go into, like, all the new indie releases, all the new rap releases, and then you just go down them. But yeah, with 300 songs, I have a hard time finding 10 good ones. Well, start checking that out, obviously. It's on Spotify. You can get it. I want to make more playlists and stuff like that, but I fucked up in that. I made my Spotify account through my Facebook, and then I deactivated my Facebook, and now my Spotify username is like 10035.

That's what mine is too. It's horrible. I don't even know how to change it. I don't know how to change it. You got to figure this out. But even the good thing about Caleb's – the way that he listens to music, like listening to four hours of music, new music a week is insane. But it's also even more insane to do that and not get pretentious about your music taste or what music you like. And I look at like the Pitchfork lists or Geniuses lists

of when they rank the rappers or whatever. And it's like, how pretentious are you to... I mean, and I know we do some listing on this show. You know what I mean? But to just be like, these are the 200 best albums of this time. I never use that B word. I never use the best word.

Because favorite. Yeah, my favorite. You gotta say favorite. Because if you're like, this is so much better than this like caleb you've earned the right to that by nerding out so hard you've earned the right of listening to all this but like not going down that road of like saying like oh because i listen to more than you i know more than you about music or my taste is better than yours. And so that's like, to me, when you're nerding out about anything, that's the best way to go about it. Because some people nerd out for the superiority and the exclusivity that they get from it.

And some people just genuinely like it. But some people are like, oh, you don't know about this new Avengers shit or whatever. You think that album is really better than this album or whatever. It's like they use it As a means of condescension And that's obviously Not what you're doing The worst

I mean yeah I honestly I was thinking about this morning Because I'm listening Right now I'm listening To like new music And it's all sucks And right now I have

That comes out on Thursdays And right now I have Three songs that I like I've already listened to 200 And I'm like man I still like doing this And I was like That makes you a nerd Totally I was like This doesn't bother me at all And I know no, man, I still like doing this. And I was like, that makes you a nerd.

Totally. I was like, this doesn't bother me at all. I know no one's going to listen to it. You like doing it for yourself. Yeah, it's weird. It's like I'm doing this for myself in a weird way, yeah. Who are your favorite artists that you found through doing this that you're like, they're awesome, that you can throw out recommendations right away? Two right off the top of my head.

One of them is more popular than the other. Doja Cat I found through doing this, and she is an incredible rapper. And then the other one who is very new, her name is Remy Wolf. R-E-M-I Wolf. And she is going to be huge. Wolf, like W-O-L-F, right? R-E-M-I W-O-L-F. You put me on to one of her songs. I think we might have

Listened to it on another Program or something Yeah Wolf Like a Wolf Wolf yeah She's awesome Yeah the song's got everything She's got 3,000 followers You gotta listen

Wow really Early You can get in at the Ground floor here That's a great feeling We'll even we'll throw I'll have a song of your choice Perfect

That ends this episode Perfect Now we can get into our list The top 10 coolest jobs Cool Coolest professions Top 10 best professions We'll just Yeah best Ends this episode. Perfect. Now we can get into our list. The top ten coolest jobs. Cool. Coolest professions. Top ten best professions.

Yeah, best. We'll go roundtable. I'll say my ten. Someone says their ten. You say your ten. Cool. Let's just have a little kickback about this. This is, you know, the tension is not high.

The tensions are low. Okay, although the spy thing almost set me off. Can we start with spy? Or are we going to? Because I did have spy on one of my – Spy is the coolest thing you could do. I mean we could start by talking about that. Yeah, sure. Easy to get killed.

Can't tell anyone about it. So that was the thing when I was making my list that I was like, I don't know. What's the criteria for this? Because I was thinking like if someone – if I was like, oh, what do you do for a living? And someone told me, that was kind of the criteria I was using of me being like, whoa, that's so cool. But spy is still my number one because I'm like, I don't know. Someone says spy, you're like, you're terrible at your job, dude. I wouldn't want to say it.

But like if I could just be like one of those guys that's in the know, like, oh, I know that guy. But like I don't tell anyone either. There's nothing cool. And I said bonus points if you're a double agent. If you're a spy and someone else thinks you're a spy for them but really you're you're spying on them yeah but that's lying but it's it's lying in the coolest way it's lying for something you believe in but well also just like stand for something or lie for something if you can't like uh if you can't tell people about it it at least has to affect how you walk around.

Like walking around knowing like I'm a spy, you must have a fucking strut. Like just the way your dick feels in your pants must be incredible. Just being like, yeah, I'm a spy. I could karate chop this guy in his neck and he'd fall asleep right away. I have a bank vault with fucking lots of bills from different countries and multiple passports and fucking I have an assignment that's coming to me through some sunglasses. That shit is next level to just know about yourself. Oh, here's my magnifying glass. Wait, it's a gun.

I'm not a detective. I'm not talking Sherlock Holmes. I'm talking James Bond. I'm talking like always the most dangerous guy in the room. Well, you don't think James Bond needs to look at things up close? He's using a magnifying glass. Come on, Robbie. Come on, bro.

I think if you took all of the spies in the world right now, all of the real spies in the world right now, it's been years since any of them used a magnifying glass. Bro, do you think that spies these days are just hackers, though? Like, do you think that there's people who are really just walking around tailing people anymore? I bet there are. Tailing? I bet you've been spied on. Not like we got to see what Roan's doing. Like Roan's in association with some guy who's in association with some guy.

You were the guy that led him to the guy that led him to the guy. I had someone who made me think that they were – who led me to believe that they were – like that they could do some spy shit, gather intel. You know who I'm talking about? I know exactly who you're talking about. And I tried to enlist him for something, and he got me nothing.

I didn't say shitty spies, though. I just said spies. But I mean, like... And let me use this as a jumping off point to my number 10 as well, because we talked about not being allowed to talk about it. Number 10, I just wrote, not allowed to talk about it.

Any job where you're like, what do you do for a living? And the guy responds, I can't talk about it. Yeah. I'm a business for myself. Cool. Yeah. Very cool.

That's true. Next level. Next level. Yeah, that is badass. I think a couple – there might be some on my list that you can't – We can go back to spy if you think of anything else on that. What do you mean? I mean like if you weren't done –

Spy is on my list too. You weren't done shitting on my spy. No, I just thought for the – when you say spy, think you can't tell anybody about it, which like that sucks. And then you can't talk about your job. And then also you also can just get murdered at any time. And no one would even like mourn you. They'd be like, oh, yeah, he had an accident on the oil rig. You wind up looking like a buffoon in death because no one could tell like what really happened.

There is a team that knows your spy, definitely, right? James Bond has M. Ethan Hunt from Mission Impossible has his squad. You're cool among them. But those people can't even mourn you when you die. They open their like, here you go.

Or it would be cool to say a sentence to someone in a dark alley and they know what your nonsense sentence means and they say some back, and you just go with them. You've got people in an empty parking garage for them to give you intel. Think about your lifestyle. You have to be consistently suspicious of everyone around you. Think about how bad that would suck.

Instead of thinking we're having a good conversation, if you're a spy, your mind's automatically going to, what's going on right now? What's going on right now? How am I going to get murdered true it's going to happen spy's not on the list uh for me for me for me i i put a couple i put a bunch of different ones that are for different reasons so all right yeah you know i'm saying like there's a lot of variety what makes something cool i said i'll give you two because these are two different ways you look at it one what is like

the coolest thing you can do as a like I think about like as a person you would just feel so wholesome and awesome

and cool and everyone loves you and you're just giving back and you're just you're hitting it on all cylinders if you're a cool

teacher that everyone loves you think that's a cool ass job a teacher I think that if you're like that teacher that everyone goes back to high school, they remember that teacher. They think they're awesome.

You inspire people. They made them think that you made them think that school was cool. Maybe you're a coach too, and you're just like an inspirational leader for young people. I think that's pretty cool. I think you would feel pretty good about it if that's what you were. Yeah, like you're feeling really just comfortable with what you did with your life. And you're just like, you know what? I really am making a difference in the world.

You sit in your deathbed and you're like, that was cool. That was a great life. Not a bad teacher. I don't mean just being a random teacher. I don't want the teacher everyone hates. I mean you got to be the cool teacher. You got to be the one that people talk about. Change some lives.

Maybe save a life. Yeah. People talk about Changed some lives Maybe saved a life Yeah Like took in a student Or like gave them some Like free Or like sneakers When like times were tough Or something like that But you didn't tell anybody You just know

But at the same time The drawback of that If we're poking holes In some of them Like the spy thing The pay kind of sucks For teachers bro Teachers are out here

Getting shafted But if you're on your Wholesome grind What do you need the money for? The living. Teachers don't get paid that much money. Yeah, but let me tell you something else. They don't work the whole year.

Fact. They work like for six months. That is a huge thing. You just have summers off, holidays off. You're done by 3 o'clock every day. I mean the guy like – They don't work that much. You know you can call your boy and guarantee that he's I mean the guy they don't work that much and guarantee

that he's free in the summer that's pretty cool too but being that teacher that goes above and beyond that's probably a little bit of extra work and also grading homework stinks

stinks but it's cool you don't even sign homework if you're making $50,000 a year this is a very specific teacher that you're talking about

yes but if you're making $50,000 a year and you're only working what they, they work probably eight months. And they only work about half the day. If you really did the math on that, they really are making like 80, 85 grand. And if you're living in New York City, that's pretty good. I actually thought about teachers when I was making my list.

I was like teacher is like – like you said, kind of a wholesome answer and all that. And then eventually I was like, no, that's not good i actually thought about teachers when i was making my list there's like teacher is like like you said kind of a wholesome answer and all that and then eventually i was like nah that's not fucking cool but let me go the other way let me go the other way with it because this is just something that you could tell somebody and they would and it'd be automatically director definitely don't you i'm a director, film director. So cool. What films? You ever watch the Oscars? Those ones. Film director is super cool. I thought about actor and all that. Anything where you could like – you're an artist in some way and that is your full-time job of like literally if you're an artist, if you're a painter, something like that, if you're an actor.

If you're anything, a musician, stuff like that. We might get to some of these later on some of our lists. Right. Completely agree. Director is one of the coolest things in the world uh the one at the top of my list an nfl quarterback just being a quarterback in the nfl like you're the man you're there's only at least a city yeah there's only 32 of your job which is pretty fucking crazy like that's a really low percentage of people that do your job, and you're just the man. On so many levels, men want to be you. Women want to be with you. You can put the city on your back. If you're the quarterback that wins a championship, of course,

there's a ton of criticism that comes with it and even more hard work. You have to win the genetic lottery. You have to be in the exact right circumstance. A lot of stars have to align for that to go right. But if you have that job, it's fucking cool. That is a cool-ass job. There's no way that you're not getting paid an insane amount of money. You can go anywhere, do anything. And a lot of the time you could be just a low-key person

if you don't want to be in in the spotlight but uh as an nfl quarterback that's like a pretty badass job you could also make a very strong argument that if you're nfl quarterback you're the best at your job in out of every single job so for example the pool of of kids that are eight years old if you ask them what they want to be you're going to get either nfl quarterback or firefighter or something else right president yeah but you can at eight years old begin to hone your craft of being an nfl quarterback you can start throwing in the yard you can start playing and at that point you begin your practice you begin your as malcolm gladwell would say, 10,000 hours, right?

You can't do it for firefighter, and you can't do it for president. And those two people, they're going to change their minds. But if you're good enough, they will. But if you're good enough at 10 years old, you might be the quarterback of your local team, and you can keep your dream alive. And then by the time you're 18 years old, you're still in high school. You've already worked 10 years on your job and honing your skill. Then you go to college and you surround yourself with the best people who know the most about your skill and they teach you more about it and you get four more years of tutelage. So then you're really looking at

14 to 15 years of working on your craft before you even become an NFL quarterback. Before you get the job. Right. So you become one of 32, but you've been working on that. So say, for example, there's – I don't know. I mean, how many sommeliers are there? There's more than 32. Oh, like master sommeliers?

Yeah, like hunt. The top notch? I think there might be like 50-some people who are like the Masters of War. Right. So even them, so you could say they have like one of the most crazy skill sets. They haven't been able to work on that for the same amount of time as an NFL quarterback has worked on his skills. So you can make a real argument that you are the best at your job that anyone else is at their job. You have the best mastery of the skill. And the talent pool is so big.

Everybody wants to be a quarterback. You know what I mean? It's more competitive, exactly. Really, that goes for a lot of sports, though, and a lot of positions, right? Or would you say quarterback is different? I would say that quarterback, when you're a little kid, that's the number one. Even if you ask a basketball player. Based on pure mass of people that want to be.

I'm saying if you look at a pool of, let's say, a million people of little boys, I would say that at some point... You shouldn't be looking at a pool of a million little boys. And that's a good point. Yeah. Unless you're playing quarterback at Penn State. I would say out of every single thing, if you polled them, the number one thing they would say they want to be at that age, that little age, would be a quarterback in the

NFL. And then it would be point guard in the NBA, and then it might be firefighter, and then it might be president. All right. So they start it. It's competitive. My number nine, I have to clarify and say that. Oh, you're going down the list.

Yeah. Well, yeah. This is just kind of a clear that. I like it. You go down. I'll go up. The list is just 10 cool jobs, all right? A good hitman.

Like, he only works for good you know and it kills bad people kind of like the equalizer or dexter one of those people right i don't want innocent people getting murdered i'm not i'm not a savage i'm not a psychopath but if you're a good hit man and it's like what is what does bob do it's like oh if you need someone killed he's your guy do you think that that would get around though do? Or do you think that a hitman is similar to being a spy or CIA? But spies, you know, you don't have to kill people. Spies could go in, get some intel, come out. You're a spy. Hitman, I'm saying,

you're just killing people. So let me up your ante here. Why not just be a Navy SEAL? Also cool, but there's a lot more Navy SEALs than there are hitmen, I would imagine. But it's probably the same training, though. Navy SEALs Than there are hitmen I would imagine But it's probably The same training though

Navy SEAL would definitely Navy SEAL you can tell people about If you're like what do you do And it's like I'm a Navy SEAL Yeah true You know what Navy SEAL you're right Navy SEAL is like

Kind of the same thing But it's You can tell people That you're a Navy SEAL You can wear it as a badge of honor For your country You're a veteran yeah And you are a badass

And it's not illegal And it's not illegal You're not really risking anything Well you're risking your life Your life But it's like You're killing people You're just veteran, yeah. And you are a badass. And it's not illegal. And it's not illegal. You're not really risking anything, right? Well, you're risking your life. Your life. But it's like you're killing people. You're just a hitman in different countries. You're a government-sanctioned hitman.

Correct, which was kind of what I was thinking, but then I was like, maybe the government's up to some shady shit sometimes, so I was like, just a good hitman. I was thinking a dead shot from Batman, who's a villain. That's badass, though. But like, yeah, Green Beret, something like that, or even like I don't know the classifications of the units that are the most badass ones, but there's just probably some units that are just like, you know these guys are badass. Well, me and Ron, we went down to Clemson for this Natty Light event. They just had us down there for the weekend, and we just did a bunch of different little things. And one of the events they had for us was a helicopter ride.

I saw that. And our captain was a former, not Navy SEAL, he was a former Special Forces, which is the Army version of Navy SEALs. And he just, first of all, he's jacked. He's like 6'4", absolutely jacked, tatted. He just had this crazy aura of just like the confidence of a man who could kill 100 people. And just like laughing, of a man who killed 100 people and just like laughing nice just uh booming testosterone i think he was like worth probably like 100 million dollars because he owned wait so this guy was a civilian and he was among he was the helicopter pilot who owned

the helicopters that these special force guys jumped out of the guy with the big chest i think was that he wasn't he was never active military but we were among all the guys who were active military and remember he was telling stories about the one guy who jumped out of the plane. Oh, I think this guy was active military, 100%. Okay, I thought they said, well, then that might be my mistake. But he was talking about one of the other guys who jumped out of the planes, and he was like, this guy has been shot 16 times. One time it happened in the United States where two guys in South Carolina tried to kill him at his own home because he's been killing and arresting these drug lords. They said they dropped him off, and he went on a two-day hike and just had one shot of a drug lord in their drug den.

And it was a movie. It was a full-on movie what they were telling us about. So cool. This guy was – I talked to him, so he was in the Special Forces. And that's on me. He told another story about the same guy. He was about to do a jump from the helicopter, like a parachute jump. And he was sleeping in the back. They had to wake him up and he just rolled out.

Like he has – that's where his – He was so – That's where his adrenaline is at. So calm. Oh, my God. In the moment. Like that would be the biggest moment of my life. Would you guys ever skydive?

We talked about this because we almost did. I would never do it. You would never do it? No, I talked to Donnie about it. You know, Chef Donnie, he's been like actually skydiving. He's got his license and all that. And he – I said before I knew this I would never do it. I'm a real pussy when it comes to that kind of stuff.

But he was like, oh yeah, everything could go perfectly right. You could do everything right and you could still just die. He's like the parachute might just not work or something. I was like, yeah, so no, I'll never do that. I'll also have no intention to do that. Maybe I'll get thrown into a deep depression later on in my life where I'll need to jog it out of me with this guy. That's what I said. I said I'll save that.

I guess never say never. I'll save that moment for a middle-aged need it moment. Yeah. You guys got more professions for me? I got – go ahead no good uh so cia agent spy was at one on my list well we've already gone through that a little bit another one on my list a painter think about the freedom of your life if you can make your job painting you have uh nothing that's really holding you down you don't have to be anywhere at any time in the morning. You don't have to go anywhere. And you make the taste of what cool art is in your own mind.

And so you just have to dump your brain out onto a canvas. If you're already successful, obviously a lot of painters aren't appreciated until after they're gone. But just the lifestyle, like the roving artistic lifestyle and just kind of – you have a leg up on everybody and almost an understanding at a different level than other people. If you're just like painting and being like, yes, this is supposed to mean this and you just don't get that. You don't understand what I meant by this piece of art. There's like – it's a freedom but also a purposeful driving that you have if you're a painter, a professional painter. Completely agreed. You always got like easels and stuff laying around.

Big warehouse or some shit. You literally can put up art in your house. Like probably you don't put up your own paintings. You're probably too cool to do that. You put up your idols' paintings and you have awesome taste in them. Like you could always make the room look exactly the way you want it to look. How about the guy that did the mural? The Moon Man Sam guy.

Cool guy. Yeah, he's a cool guy. He's a painter. And there are, I know that it's more likely to die before you become rich, but there are people who are alive

who are making millions. And maybe you even get like, Jeff Koons, did you watch that documentary? Yes, Jeff Koons. He doesn't even, he's like a CEO painter. He doesn't even paint

his own paintings. Oh, is he the guy that does the big like balloon things? I talked to Joseph Benavidez, a UFC fighter, about him like right before we did a podcast, and I need to see this documentary because the way he described it, like you said, is like this guy basically just tells people what to do and they do it. Like he did the big thing with the sphere in front of other paintings and like the Mona Lisa. He's a big pop art guy. He's making so much money, like unbelievable money, hundreds of millions of dollars. Crazy. Super cool.

You also maybe get people thinking that you're smarter than you are, like you said, or more like complex than you are. You draw something stupid and abstract thing and you're like, what do you think? And people start dissecting it like it's a Sistine Chapel. Have you guys ever tried to do an abstract painting? I'm sure in like art class or something but never like myself i want to sit down and do this my boy used to buy canvases and like one time i was like man and he would just do abstract paintings he had no i don't want to say

he had no painting talent but he wasn't painting anything that looked like anything he was just smacking paper paint on paper and or like huge drawn out fucking three foot by five foot canvases and one time I was like you know what I'm going to give this shit a shot like maybe I'm good at painting and I smacked some paint on the page and we both stood back and I was like dude this looks pretty good so far like this is like I might be on to something

and I put some more paint on the page and it ruined everything immediately so there is like I learned by that that there is some type of like strategy to making shit look good. You can't just be like Jackson Pollock, like a lot of people's idea is that he's just whipping a paintbrush

out of fucking, but I think that there is some strategy to it. There's some skill to it and I think that that would be a pretty cool profession. There has to be. Another artistic profession I have next on my list,

a special effects makeup artist. Oh shit. That's a Robbie Fox special. I go down these paths all the time. When you look at like Greg Nicotero from The Walking Dead, like the people that could do the stuff that blows your mind. You see it on Instagram or whatever, the zippered off face or something or a zombie or a monster of some sort. Always so cool the the girls that can make themselves look like jack sparrow just by putting on like a layer of fucking concealer

or whatever i don't know if that's the kind of makeup you put on to do that but i think special effects makeup artists are awesome and if i was with someone and i was like oh what do you do and they were like oh i do the ogres on game of thrones i'm a special effects artist so cool yeah i think that that's like something that's like a goal that people have. Like even a young girl might get into makeup and be like, I want to do makeup for famous people someday or something. And this is even like the more artistic on 10 version of that. Like I'm going to do makeup so cool that it looks like you have a bullet hole in your head.

Yes. Or like you ever see the girl who does like a bunch of eyes and lips and makeup on her face and it just looks like her face is like an optical illusion? Are there a lot of dudes in that field? I have no idea.

I know pretty much nothing about special effects makeup other than it's awesome. Hell yeah. I mean, I can't argue with you at all. All right. Yeah.

What do you guys got? What about DJ? And I know this sounds obvious, but think about it like this. You tour. You're a musician. But what's the worst part about being a musician? Coming up with the shit. Well.

Writing music, yeah. Writing music and also having to perform. You know as the pop punk lead, your voice is always going bad. The nights of your show, you guys are nervous. We're all having a good time, right? Totally. We're all drinking backstage and you guys are like

kind of on edge and then after the show's over, you guys are kind of like, you have the, maybe a higher high than everyone else, but you're still. We're exhausted though.

We're not like going out and having the same. If you're a DJ, say, I'm going to give these DJs that I'm talking about the benefit of the doubt, they are making their own music,

right? But you still go play other people's and then you play some of your own but on a night of a show you travel to whatever the location is some exotic location and you just got to go and you go at 10 o'clock at night and you go to the fanciest restaurant

in the city and you eat from 10 to 11 and then you make your way you have some handler some nightlife handler who's just giving you whatever you want and then you go backstage and you have a group of if you're into it the hottest girls or whatever and then you kind of hang out meet everybody you start drinking you get drunk for your own show and then you go out there and then everyone is worshiping you like you're John Mayer playing the guitar. But you are literally doing nothing.

Yeah, you're shit-faced and you're twisting screws. And you're twisting screws. You already did your whole set. And I have friends who are DJs and they're going to say this is not true. This is 100% true. The set's done in advance. Yeah. And then you just go out there.

You play it. You have a rock star time. And then you come back and you just did all the good parts of being a musician without any of the bad parts. And you still – I'm not going to say you're someone that's like you don't make your own music so you're a wannabe. You really do produce and you make your own music. Yeah. So you can't even – no one can even say anything to you. It's true.

The thing I thought about right away when you started talking about that is i always get nervous on stage roan knows this with pop punk that like what if halfway through our set i get a stomach ache and i have to shit like what happens you're a dj you just go shit if you're a dj yeah you just show goes on nobody notices that you are gone literally just ran off stage holding his butt now say this one of the uh worst things you could do i think is have to be like marshmallow and have to have to wear that head that head all the time and outfit you get like you get to go out on the street and be a regular person after that marshmallow i feel like has it better than the djs that are in the limelight and have all that marshmallow like dead mouse kind of has best of both worlds people know what his

face looks like people know what his mask yeah but don't you think he just gets tired of wearing that outfit no i don't think so i think at some level you have to be like, motherfucking put the mask on again. Another day in the mask. People treat you like you're a mascot from Disney World. I think it's worth it right now for people not knowing it's you. No, that could be a very sweet. But DJs, everything you said just made it sound so cool.

I always look at DJs as super lame. Yeah, but their lives are awesome. I guess their lives and to them it's not lame to them it's the coolest thing ever it's true and i think there is real like mastery and skill to it like if you go watch for example marshmallow his show is unreal totally he's so good uh i'm sure carter cruz is he's an awesome dj yeah i'm sure she is but and you can go see some bad DJs too So I think that you could actually have the skill And yeah Have you ever seen a DJ battle?

It's awesome They actually have the vinyls and they're scratching They're scratching and shit And they're like flipping There was this fucking dude that used to DJ battle At Scribble Jam And he would wear a fucking Like a mullet and no shirt. And he would just do, like, one time he played, like, two records, and people were just like, oh, these two records are cool.

But then he found the perfect part on the Internet. Scratch bastard. And people go crazy. And it was like one of the best videos on the Internet. Scratch Bastard. We're talking way old school. Scratch Bastard is his name, bro. This shit is incredible. I remember my brother showing that to me, like one of the first YouTube videos he ever showed me, I think. I still go back to it all the time.

It was like a rollerblader getting hit in the nuts in that video. I want to see this video so bad. It's so fucking cool. I got on my list a fictional job while Rowan's looking for this. Hand to the King. I don't think that's a real job, but I think it's cool. What is it? You're out of your mind.

So is Hand to the King like in Coming to America, Wesley Snipes' character, when he has to tend to the king at all times and he's just like right there? I guess. I don't want to say the B word all times and he's just like right there. I guess. I don't want to say the B word on your podcast, but you're a bitch. Oh, come on. No. Tyrion, when they fucking give him the pin, like whenever someone got the pin in Game of Thrones, it was so cool. It's like, oh, fuck.

And it's like you're really doing the shit. But someone else is, yeah, getting credit for it. It's not even a credit thing. You have to listen. You're taking orders. Like you're the – it was like I tell everyone. You're the right-hand man. Okay, you're protected.

But there are negatives to being Frankie Borelli. Definitely. Okay, that's the hand to the king at Barstool, right? But I'm not talking about the king, Dave Portnoy. I know, but I'm just saying to bring it into – so we can use examples. There's some real negatives there, aren't there? You always got to be on call. Every weekend.

Anything Dave wants. If he wants to yell, he's yelling at you. I just thought being like – Well, what about like – More like – I'm thinking like more like being someone's turtle to Vinny Chase. What about a conselieri? Being like an awesome person's right-hand man. That's not awesome.

And honestly, if you listen to Call Her Daddy, which I did. They had an episode about this. Sorry about that. No, they had a good episode about this. About being the hand to the king? Yeah, they called it, in their mind, which would show you how a female would look at it, a leech. In The Godfather, Tom Hagen's character, maybe something like that. That's a pretty cool job.

The conciliary, he's never getting yelled at by the mob boss, but he's in every conversation. He's not getting embarrassed or dressed down. He just knows how to handle the business of the king. I feel like that's like – because I mean I guess – well, I mean mob boss is one of the things on my list. So I think I would just rather be the boss who has the guy. Yeah, hey. King. King is a cool job.

King. But king is like – I thought about that too, and it's like, you don't want to deal with all that shit. You don't want to deal with distress. You don't want to deal with the people that want you assassinated. You don't want to deal with half the country hating you. Wait, that's a war-torn king. What about the king of Sweden right now? Like, countries have kings right now, and they're just chilling.

Probably sweet. Or like the fucking prince. Spain. Yeah, Spain. Like, what about the prince of England? Cool job. I think president of the United States, I'll take half the country hating me. That means you've got about the Prince of England? Cool job. I think President of the United States.

I'll take half the country hating me. That means you've got half the country who loves you. But you look at the – if you're in office for, let's say, two terms, you look like an old man by the time you get out of there. You've got gray hair. You probably don't even have long hair. Probably four years in, you're like, fuck it. I'm done with it. Imagine, dude, you live one life.

The life experiences that you would have in those eight years. Don't you think it's worth it to take some grays? Say being the president of the United States takes 10 years off your life. Wouldn't you rather be the president of the United States and live to 60 than be a random ass person and be 70? Think about the stories, the things they know, the people they've met, the places they've gone the the aliens they know about that's that's another thing knowing about all this shit like if you're president you're like all right let's let's dive into the jfk fight hey let's be honest when a president's done everyone loves him when trump's done people will probably love him everyone he'll be like a comical character people will be like oh trump oh there he goes he did that i remember how bad people hated George W. Bush.

I remember. And then this weekend he's with Ellen and it's like he's like a national hero. He paints and shit. Yeah. To go into like having the knowledge that other people don't have or being have theories about the universe, where things might go, ways to create things. There's a guy who won the Nobel Prize the other day for his work with dark matter. And he was one of the first people that found out about the universe expanding. He was on the ground floor of that shit.

To be able to find out that the universe is expanding, to be able to have that capacity and intellectual curiosity to find that shit out and to be one of the people that's like, well, because of this, the entire universe is expanding. Or I'll go the opposite direction with it. Be a Gronk brain. If you're just a person with a puppy dog brain. With so much ignorance. The universe is expanding. Or I'll go the opposite direction with it. Be a Gronk brain. If you're just a person with a puppy dog brain.

With so much ignorance. And every moment is a new moment. You're just like. And you're just having a great time at all times no matter what's happening. Someone fucking tells you the universe is expanding. And you're like, cool, throw me the football. You're like, cool, dude. You don't even really care about that kind of stuff. Everyone loves you because you're just easy to be around.

There's no judgment. I would die to be a Gronk brain. Who's the most gronk brain-esque at barstool do you think i think about this sometimes yp sometimes gets into that gets that's so interesting yeah we're like the other day like i mimicked that i was gonna like go to take him down and he dropped everything he had and grabbed me as tight and violent as he possibly could well he just loves wrestling and i was like dude i'm not actually wrestling and he goes well you shouldn't have fucking did that like piss and the other day i was in the stall pissing and he was in the urinal pissing and he fucking like wadded up a wet wad of paper towels and he said i remember when we used to do this in

high school and he whipped it over the stall door as hard as he could and it like slammed against the wall and i was like dude what the fuck and I left the stall and he goes what you're giving up and I was like yes that's exactly what I'm doing so I would say

YP he nerds out over being a bully definitely he was he's like remember when we fucking used to do this it was awesome

that's hilarious that's so funny I have more on the list if I I keep whipping through I also have the scratch bastard clip what do we got on time

over there by the way? You guys good? Let's go 10 more minutes. Yeah, let's go 10 more minutes. Dude, one I think that's just funny is being in beverage sales. Like people who are being in beverage sales. Axelrod. Axelrod.

That guy's super cool. Yeah, you're right. Or being high up in like – Like Coca-Cola? Yeah, or no, like alcohol beverage sales, like Anheuser-Busch or something like that. You're always going to – It's true. You're always going to events where you can party.

There's so much money around. You're always in the suite. You're always – it's like a low-pressure situation. Like you're selling something that everyone wants to buy. Everyone wants booze. This is the easiest shit to sell. Shit has to be flying off the shelves. All you have to do is design a fun time around it or have fun or be fun.

And I feel like people who are in beverage sales, I see them all the time. They're the people who are out of the bargain and fucked up. They're the people out there just living a life on the edge. Beverage sales. They just have tabs life on the edge. Beverage sales. They just have tabs everywhere. Tabs. Opening up tabs. Yeah, drink on my tab.

A thousand cards, yeah. Just, yeah. I remember when we went to the Masters. That's who we got our passes from. It was like someone that worked for an alcohol company. They were like, oh yeah, we gotta hit up the alcohol company.

They have infinite passes. As many as they need to Augusta, the most exclusive place in the world. Yeah, I mean, the only one that I know is the one that you guys know too, is Axelrod. He has like a,

he just has like a, it's an aura of someone who doesn't have anything bad going on. Definitely. You know what I'm saying? Like if you don't have like super, what's the most stressful thing that's going to happen to you?

Like yeah, someone doesn't buy the alcohol. What's the worst thing that can happen to you? Someone orders Another brand of alcohol Than your brand That you're trying to sell

Yeah and actually We have been in situations Like that Where like you're at Like a Oh yeah Big Ev did it Big Ev did it

To Natty Light He's at a Natty Light thing And ordered What did he get A Coors Light or something At dinner And they didn't pay For the dinner

They're like They're like fuck you You gotta pay for the dinner now We asked you one thing We had to do one thing They had like Natty's shirts And hats on And he the dinner now. We asked you one thing. We had to do one thing. They have like natty shirts and hats on. He's like, I'll do it. Coolers, right?

I got one here. The Tice the Rockies? Whoever's trying to bring dinosaurs back. Jurassic Park style. You know there's someone in the world right now where their exclusive job is let's look into dinosaurs. And you know on the DL, they're like, I'm going to bring these motherfuckers back. So a crazy person. Like what?

What are they crazy? A flat earther? They have information where they're like, we can extract some blood from a mosquito and this can happen. Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park. So the guy, the scientist from Jurassic Park. If your job every day, you're dealing with dinosaurs,

you're thinking about dinosaurs, I think that's pretty cool. So who did you admire? When you watched Jurassicassic park you admired the scientists in the lab you didn't admire the person who's like this is a bad idea i i didn't admire them definitely it's proven to be a bad idea but if you're on the ground floor like you said knowing things people don't know about dinosaurs even if you know like how they went extinct and it's like we can't tell the people maybe you have some alien knowledge maybe you have some other things, even if you know how they went extinct and it's like we can't tell the people, maybe you have some alien knowledge, maybe you have some other things. I think if your day-to-day job is with dinosaurs, it's pretty cool.

What if you're, this is a new one that just came to my mind but it would be awesome, you're the alpha of a tribe in the Trobion Islands where everything is still hunter-gatherer so you're really you're basically like a king except for you're living out life like kind of like how we're designed to do it.

So like all the like anxieties we have and all the – kind of the negative things that we deal with on a day-to-day. Now, this is Tropian Islands. I'm not talking about somewhere where they're looking for food and they might not get it. They're going to die out. This is – they got the water. They know how to fish. They're not worrying about food they're looking for food and they might not get they're going to die out this is they got the water they know how to fish they're not worrying about food there's no other tribes there's no other tribes and you're the alpha so you're the king of that you don't have the anxieties of daily life in new york city you're not on social media you don't

have to go on the subway you're just literally everything you do is like fulfilling you and you just feel eating fucking yes just enjoying the hell out of your life yep sounds incredible if you're the king you're probably you don't have to fish anymore bring you fish every excuse me every morning they they have something for you for lunch you probably have like chefs in the tribe you're the alpha so you have like tons of kids but you don't really have to take care of them because you're just responsible for like not that it's not good to take care of your kids but you just do like kind of what you're designed to do yeah you kind of you just do like how it's supposed're designed to do. You kind of,

you just do like how it's supposed to be almost. I think that's a great answer. You got another one? I have a bunch more. Mob Boss was one of mine. Mob Boss. Being a mob boss

has to be fucking incredible. Super cool. My grandfather, I've never told this story in the podcast, super Italian, my mom's side of the family. Every time he would take

the kids to Hoboken, would have to like drop them off with our nanny, like my kind of great grandmother, would drop the kids off there and then go pay his respects to the mob boss in Hoboken. Kiss the ring. Literally, just nice to see you.

Because if the mob boss heard them, like Maddie was in Hoboken without saying hello, see ya. That might be annoying, honestly, though. Everybody's coming by all the time. Every time you're in town, yeah. Someone's just got to – but it's like you're kind of like everyone's a beta compared to you. Yeah. And you know how to schmooze and you know how to like get a box of cookies that like means something or whatever. Like there's a lot of deep shit. Soccer player like in Europe or like a championship boxer.

Especially if you got like a neck tattoo like the soccer players. I was going to say best – on my list best athlete was gonna be nba player but i think being a european soccer player is better right born in brazil maybe you came out of like the fucking hood in brazil and now you're in barcelona true that's true but like but like your head's on a stick ronaldo's life or like leonel messi's life incredible yeah all the money in the world eventually they'll come back to you and get the taxes. They'll get the taxes for sure. But there's just so much fucking money going around. You're more beloved on a global scale than any other athlete really.

I mean boxers like Manny Pacquiao would be incredible. Championship boxer. I was thinking that heavyweight boxer. If you're the heavyweight champ of the world, awesome. But I was like, I don't know. Your brain scrambled. Yeah. I have a couple more.

So skateboarder, obviously. That's so sick. If you I have a couple more. So skateboarder, obviously, if you're a skateboarder. That's so sick. If you're in the X Games. Yeah, Coley was surfer. I think that that's it. Yeah, Coley said surfer. Same thing. Kind of those extreme sports that are always associated with punk rock music.

Super cool. Astronaut. Astronaut, if you're going to space, if you're really like you've been there. Yeah, that's dumb. That's incredible. I wouldn't want to be one. No, I either though that's what that's what i'm thinking about and it's not even that scary it's just like almost like the things that you'd have to do to get to that point i feel like are horrible to go through some horrible things but once you're like

i'm back yeah pretty cool welcome home when you're like i was where were you yeah space yeah buzz aldrin just plays forever too. He could go anywhere. Definitely. There's that video of Buzz Aldrin punching the dude in the face. Classic. Because he's like, you have to be in pretty good shape to be an astronaut. He at some point was a badass for sure. I just want to rattle through the rest of these just to get them out of my brain.

A stand-up comedian would be a lot of fun. Guitar player, just being in front of a ton of people. Yeah, I got rock star. That was the last one on my list. Just being a rock star. There's not much I need to say about it. Mayor. Mayor is the perfect one for me because if you're a rock star, it's almost like there's pressure on you to live out some type of life a certain way, image.

I don't think it's pressure, though. I think you just fucking let it happen. Dude, the way Mayor does it. If you're a true rock star, though, if you're a true rock star, there is no pressure. You just do it. You don't give a fuck about what happens. Yeah, but you also have half a brain because you did so much drugs and so much alcohol some people yeah but that's part of being a rock star man not alice cooper look at like keith richards still kicking and i'm sure

he could have a conversation with you like we're having a conversation right now uh wait are you sure i'm not that sure i haven't spoken with what about mayor though mayor plays uh and arguably the most famous band of all time or the greatest band of all time. He also does his own stuff. He also does like – He's a rock star. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying, that version. Okay.

But he's the only one like him. I can't think of anyone else like him. That's another thing where like people will like get on – I think it was – I said when the Ed Sheeran album came out and he had that song with Chris Stapleton and Bruno Mars. I was just like three rock stars doing their thing and people got very angry that I called Bruno Mars and Ed Sheeran rock stars. They're completely rock stars in this day and age. Tupac and Biggie are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It's not like just because of music. It's because of the attitudes.

Yes, rock star. What about this? Dalai Lama. I mean, yeah. You're two years old. You're born and they're like, that guy's got it. Well, I got it. I mean, yeah. You're two years old, you're born, and they're like, that guy's got it. Well, I got it.

I guess I got it. Talk about pressure. But if you just... If they're pressure, I think you're just the Dalai Lama forever. Yeah, if you just know you have it,

it's just like, you just got it. If someone the whole time was telling you from the time you were born you got it, there's no pressure. It's just like,

oh, I'm that dude. And as far as I know, they've never picked it wrong. They've never been like, oh, we messed up. They get it right every time. You really do got it. There's no pressure. It's just like, oh, I'm that dude. And as far as I know, they've never picked it wrong. They've never been like, oh, we messed up. They get it right every time. You really do got it. You just have the baby aura.

How do they pick? They're two years old. They'll be like, that guy's got it. This one might be the one. You're the current Dalai Lama's son. They probably can't have kids, right? I have no idea.

I think they fuck, but it's probably like a council of other like llamas and they just like look at you and they're like ah yes he will be the dolly of the llamas

you don't cry that much when they're holding you but you have to have a glow and probably pretty handsome pretty fucking cool pretty fucking cool my last two on the list working in Wall Street

in the 90s that shit must have been fucking sweet dude crazy that must have been a fucking fun ass time pinstripe suits tons of of cocaine, fucking money everywhere. Wall Street style stuff.

Incredible. Must have been an awesome lifestyle. And finally, working at Barstool Sports. A pretty cool job, boys. Let's not look a gift horse in the mouth. Our job is pretty good. And I have one if we weren't humans. All right.

Thoroughbred. A stud? You get to be, yeah, you go get to, you get to do the athlete thing. You get to be Yeah you go get to You get to do the athlete thing You get to be a star athlete And then the rest of your life Well what are you doing You know

That's exactly why I had you guys on this podcast Because you bring A bomb sniffing dog Yeah A dog that just gets to Sniff Sniff bombs

And fucking You have a good ass purpose Canine You get to take down criminals Yeah that's probably Even better than bomb sniffing You know Some bomb sniffing dogs

Probably Dogs would be like Fucking I smell that loud Yeah And that's probably even better than bomb sniffing. Some bomb sniffing dogs would be like fucking, I smell that loud. And they take a little coke for themselves, the drug sniffing dog. They're like, this smells like coke.

They're like, that's for spotting it. Guys, thanks for joining me. We'll have to think of another obscure topic in the future to piss off the chicks in the office.