My Therapist Ghosted Me - A Shimmer At The Pearly Gates

Episode Date: July 1, 2022

So, the cat's out of the bag and the tickets are on sale! Who's coming to MTGM LIVE!? This week, there's much to discuss (as ever), including Brad Pitt's strange photo, geriatric hair (oh dear Vogue) and the problem with viagra. If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

Hello! Welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with myself Joanne McNally and herself Vogue Williams. I don't know why I find Vogue's eyebrows so hilarious. I don't know why I find them so hilarious. They're like little slugs on my face, aren't they? They're absolute slugs, yeah. I spend a lot, excuse me, Slug Ella, look at your brows. They're hardly a skinny brow. No, but yours are just really furry.

They're just cute. Like, they're like, if I saw them not on your face, I'd put them in a jar and they'd probably live a happy life they'd turn into a butterfly Spencer sometimes looks at mine when I brush them up and he's like and I can just see his face I'm like don't say it don't say it they're absolutely don't know and you're always you're always at them you're always like grooming them and quaffing them and stuff um can we talk about your hair listen you look like I'm about to put you into crufts what are those dogs Jo what are those long

kind of blonde haired dogs that get their like curly blow dry done for crufts I've never seen a weirder hairstyle on you in my human existence Joanne I just had to do a shoot right and this is meant to be an undone look

and I've been dragging the head off myself who was the shoot for was it for a nursing home I know I've never seen a weirder blow dry I don't know what to do I'm not washing my hair again

do you know how annoying that is I just have to live with this this is life now shut up Jo with your perfect hair you asshole you look like you're collaborating with the funeral home or a life insurance company

wait wait wait wait till i take the headphones are saving it hang on a second it's like irish dancing hang on you're the star that you're the best you're the you're the dog you're the star of the show for me. Dog number three. With the eyebrows. Bring it forward. Woof, woof. I want to lift up its tail. It's going through to the next round. Jesus, actually, you wouldn't want to take offense on this podcast. The two of you, the second my scream popped up,

you just started pissing yourselves. Laughing at my hair. At my hair. We never know what's going to meet us. Because you have such a weird job that we literally have no idea what's going to meet us because you've you've such a weird job that we literally have no idea what's going to come on when the camera comes on oh my god you could be sitting there dressed as peppa pig you could be sitting there with whatever's going on now this kind of geriatric blow dry you just don't know what you anyway just anyway sorry it's where we are it's

where we are and do you know why it's where we are i It's where we are. Do you know why I have it? Because I was doing a shoot last week because of my new Lucy and Egil collab. And like, I was in charge of bringing the... Now, I organized the shoot and I was bringing the clothes and everything like that. And then I sent the pictures smug as fuck

because I was like, they look amazing. It's going to be brilliant. And then Lucy wrote back and she goes, where are the ones with the tops? Well, didn't I leave the house without the tops? And did I shoot them?

No, I did not. So I had to shoot them today. And she was actually, I was like, thanks for being so sound and not giving out to me. What do you mean the tops? What did you do? There's two tops. Oh God, I can't put my hair back. I look like a man.

That actually looks good. I mean, listen, I look at this. I cannot. I'm hiding behind a microphone. You're wearing Peter's top. You've got black things coming out your ears. And you have roots. Sorry, this isn't Peter's.

Firstly, this isn't Peter's top. This is my top. Secondly, they're not roots. They're called slag strips. That was a creative fashion choice on my part. The 90s are back, baby. But I I can't I just can't get any

kind of like my hair's just so lank at the moment I just can't get any sort of volume in it or something I don't know what's going on it's just

it's all just real pathetic at the moment and I haven't booked in for a curly blow dry at the weekend hopefully that'll do something for it oh well I wouldn't

go as far look at that like I do look like a dog you absolutely look like a dog but a dog who would be in the top five oh defo I would definitely be in the top five oh defo i would definitely be in the top five one of those dogs with the really long faces joe and they've

really long blonde hair that's what i look like a long-faced dog well i just today with the hair you know do you know who i will take you know that thing from the land is it the land before time the long the long dog yes that's who I like and he's glorious flying through the sky that's what I'm talking about yeah well at the moment

you look like you took a can of pedigree chum into your hairdresser pointed the tin and went I want to look like one of those please the ones with the long hair is an Afghan hound

that's what she looks like an Afghan hound oh my god I am sorry Afghan hound let me see guys I've actually got something on I'm gonna have to leave you to do it

oh my god I do that's the exact kind of thing I was thinking you've just got to go down and do your agility course I want to see if I was running through those tunnel tubes. Okay, I will take this. The Afghan hound is a hound that is distinguished by its thick, fine, silky coat and its tail with a ring curl at the end. Thank you.

Yeah, okay, I'll be that. Listen, you look a lot better than I do. I just look like shit these days. I'm telling you, the wine and quavers diet's really caught up with me. I'm not looking my best. I need to get a serious face. I need to get a, I need to facelift, actually. I need a whole new head.

I'll be honest. We both looked worse. We have looked worse, definitely. Somebody, someone was trolling you. I was going to send it to you. And I was like, no, that adds to the trolling. It was a newspaper again. And they had this picture of you from like 10 years ago. Why did they do it to you and I was like no that adds to the trolling it was a newspaper again and they had this picture of you from like 10 years ago we were do it to me we were in bits we were in bits

a bag of bits yeah and they keep using it I actually contacted one of the newspapers and said I don't know what I've done but can you actually tell and they took it off their system so I don't know what's going on. Oh my God, you can do that. There's too many of me. They won't take them all away. You were paid. Well, you've had more photos taken. So there's going to be more stingers out there.

Do you know what I mean? Well, it's the press calls. Yeah, anyway, listen, whatever. I was going, I told you, I was doing my favorite thing in the world, going through the suction bags. Because Otto and I were going through to Theodore's clothes because he's using them.

Oh my God. Like, how did you let me dress for Theodore like that he was like a baby of the famine like the tights there's about 20 pairs of tights I'm like that poor kid never stood a chance I did say it at the time like I did I did kind of I tried to flag it I did I mean did he have a bonnet at one stage there was there was did you see this Jo it was it were kind of like potato sacks and she used to I mean that was his christening dress that's cute you can't see he's wearing kind of like what would you call it like he looks like he's in a cult no he definitely looks like uh a baby of like the famine bear no it's a more he looks like a mormon yeah yeah a cute mormon but i couldn't believe it i was going through it and then like and you were trying to tell me something because i've just whipped out an outfit that you got him and it was like a really cool like pink collared t-shirt with

these white dungarees and i'm like yeah she was going the opposite direction of me and now otto just looks like a dude i'm just dressing him i was trying to make sure i was trying to make sure white dungarees and I'm like yeah she was going the opposite direction of me and now Otto just looks like a dude I'm just dressing him I was trying to make sure I was trying to make sure Theodore didn't get bullied in Battersea Park he was actually he must have been bullied as like a three-month-old like they must have all been laughing at him but there is that is what we've discussed that before that is one of the perks of having your own children you get to just dress them whatever way you want they can't say anything no and I and I like it that way I wouldn't like if theatre started having an opinion on his clothes you can bribe them to do pretty much anything though I have these sweets right and they're

vitamins but they're like it looks like a jelly and I'm like if you do this you can have a vitamin jelly and like they love it they'll go and do it for the vitamin jelly do you see Peppa Pig is after bringing out a line of vitamins for children? Yeah, we have them. I cannot get headphones. I don't know what's going on with my ear holes, but they're clearly deformed because my left ear hole is obviously it's just obviously too large and I can't hold anything in there

like I could get a toaster in there just digging out your ears let's talk about the tour so we've announced that we're going on tour it's starting in

here she's gone look she's mentioning the tour and she's already gone straight into her monotone voice I don't get it I'm not this is me

this is me being animated this is why i get no voiceover work they're like can she sound less depressed please i'm probably doing the voiceover for whatever photo shoot you've got that hairstyle for anyway we're going on tour ghost is going live we're going on the road um we're doing the electric picnic, obviously, as a kind of pilot episode. Get ready. We are putting a lot of work in for that, though.

That is like the starting. I'm shitting myself, actually. I can't think about it too much because I'll shit my pants. You'll actually be, honestly, Vogue, you're going to take to it like a duck to water. You'll be totally grand. I know, but you'll be so used to it

that I'm just going to like trail behind you. You know, you used to go out with your mom and you'd just hide behind them. I'm just going to hide behind you. Yeah.

No, we've established a plan. I'll go out, do 50 minutes of material, we'll wheel you out for five minutes at the end to do a Q&A and push you back off stage.

That's going to happen. That's exactly what we're going to do. That suits me down to the ground. I'm like like there's Vogue in the wings okay back to me so anyway anyway we are I'm so excited I just think it's gonna be so much crack and my dream of wanting to go on the piss with everyone is gonna become a reality I'm so excited now joan i'll have to have one because i'll be very nervous oh yeah big time she will have one on the stage with us anyway we have a little bit but we are trying to figure out what the live show is at the moment we have hired a producer to help us kind of format it so that it's not just well the carnage that is the pod before

joe gets his hands on us yeah i think it's going to be great i think it's going to be good fun i can't wait to go around to do it i'll finally get to spend some time with you um you're still not going home I'm sure your fellas delighted that you've announced another tour and I need to actually post about it on my stories because people are asking if we're going to other places we are yeah we're going to be going all out we're going to be going we're going to be going to places outside of Dublin as well and obviously we're doing the UK I can't wait till she does what she does. We're going here, we're going there, we're going here, here, here.

That's going to be my absolute favourite. Joe, how was Glastonbury? Joanne, I have never had such FOMO in my whole life. I lost my voice. You lost your voice

and you were, like when would you start drinking then? Like at 10 in the morning? Oh, easily. Easily 10. Oh, that is sick. Joe, I'm confused'm confused how were you

coming back up from glasto then for work what work well this this is a job joe did you think what did you think this is no it's finished now it's finished now it's all good now it only goes it goes on for five days did you go did you go on a wednesday till i'm just doing my makeup as we're sitting here i can't i did i went went on Wednesday and I came back on the Sunday night. That's absolutely disgusting. Oh, disgusting. Now, wouldn't be able for it. You've got to drink your beers in the morning because you keep your beers in the tent.

By the afternoon, they're hot and then they get cold overnight. So you have to drink your tent beers in the morning because otherwise you're, you know. I would like I'd like now when I say I'm going to Glastonbury if I'm going to Glastonbury I'm going to stay in like an RV or something I saw I saw people in those and I was like I could do that but like still I'd only be able for about two days but I'm going to test the water with EP so I'm going to stay at EP for the day and then like because I've people down. I know you have to go back and do Vicar Street, but like, I'm like, fuck

it, Joanne doesn't want any tickets. I'll take her allocation. So I'm just gonna, I'm gonna go down and see how I get on. Now I do have somebody hopefully that's gonna drive me there and back, so if I really hate it, I can go home. And then I know that I won't be able for Glastonbury. I love the idea of you being driven around

Glastonbury in your little lobster pot waving at people like the Queen. Your own personal jubilee. Absolutely love it. I was looking at other people's stories and I was thinking that's the Glastonbury I want to do. Like when they're standing on the stage

and they're in a nice area but like I don't know how to get those hookups really. Oh come on. How can you not get those hookups? I'm not that cool. I don't know how to get those hookups, really. Oh, come on. How can you not get those hookups? I'm not that cool. I don't know how much they want me at Glastonbury. I think I'm actually even going to have to apply for tickets. This is bullshit.

Like you have to do it like us plebs. Yeah, gross. I'm going to have to be in a tent beside Joe drinking my fucking morning beers or whatever you call them. My tent beers. Oh, my God. Vogue popped going through the general admissions tent. Oh,

Vogue puts on a plebby display. I honestly, but like, I was so jealous of people there. Like James and Brian, our friends went and they were in like this like amazing camper van. And I thought like, that's a bit of me.

I would do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's nice to. And I thought like, that's a bit of me. I would do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's nice to do a kind of like, it's nice to do things posh. Like there was a time when I would have mucked it, would have loved to have mucked it.

Like, but now I think, I don't know. Ah, well I did that. I sure liked Camps Down at Oxygen and I camped at EP before. Like it's not for me anymore. I'm too old. Exactly.

We're too old. Too old. We're used to the glam life now on Pride Night what happened there did that actually happen that no one showed up and that Geroad didn't show up what happened

no it was just really late Geroad was late because Geroad's usually you know he's fiercely professional but he's obviously learning the ropes from me

and he's gone very unprofessional now. And he was just the latest he'd been in, I was saying, because Pride was on. Obviously, Pride kind of knocked the shit out of Dublin the night before. Yeah. And everyone was kind of late coming in. And then Gerold was late coming in

and he was saying it was Pride and I was giving eggs. I was like, you're not even a decent gay. You don't get to use Pride as an excuse. You're not even that gay, Gerold. You're not a full gay forget about it yeah come on you're not a glam gay you're a plant gay yeah Amber kicks the absolute shit out of pride Jesus I haven't rang her yet we're recording this on a Tuesday and I'm actually still too scared to ring her she's probably in the horrors is she I this these were times that like had I been in Ireland I would have flown home early because I wouldn't have been able to handle her mood for the rest of the week I'd be like see you honey um I something weird happened to me this week I went for a facial with Susan and someone got

knocked over not a full knockover but like I saw this guy and he knocked over a delivery driver and your man then started shouting at the delivery driver being like, I'm in a rush, I'm in a rush. And he just like knocked him over and then he drove off. And he was like, his bike was on the ground and your mom was shouting at him saying he was in a rush, even though he just knocked him down. And your mom was like, yeah, but I'm also in a rush even though he just knocked him down and your man was like yeah but I'm also in a rush but you've knocked me down now and then your man just sped off you can't do that well obviously you can and then when I was leaving his little bike was tied up outside because obviously it had been just like ripped to shreds it's like that poor guy his day is just ruined now or maybe it wasn't maybe he got the day off work and he was thrilled I have to say

power to those delivery guys it just it looks like a lot of work like hail rain or shine peddling through town with hot food in their back people always giving out to them

knocking them over looks like shit crack that's one thing I miss about being in the UK the speed of those delivery things I'm like how is it here already

it's like there was a lad waiting outside my door in a bush with a pad thai on the off chance I'd order it. And then he just, I order it and it's like within seven minutes

it's in my mouth. It's like literally in my mouth. How do they do it? My favorite are the new ones that like bring like groceries to your door. And like, honestly, it's within 10 minutes minutes like how are they getting me all that shit in 10 minutes and bringing it to my house you get spoiled that's the thing i think they're driving around in trucks and then they're

like parachuting people out in different areas with loads of like stuff i don't know how they're doing it i don't know it's creepy yeah we're being don't know. It's creepy. Yeah. We're being watched. It's something to do, I'd say it's to do with the Chinese, to be honest. Joanne, that sounds like something I would say. You've finally given up on your scatology

and I'm becoming a racist. We're syncing up. Scatology, I hate that word. That's what, that's the term for the stuff that you want to talk about is well you know what don't spend any time with Jamie Lange then because I've never like I set him off

when I did a podcast with him like honestly I said one poo joke or something like I say poo jokes like Spencer's afternoon buying himself he calls it a chocolate suit and I'm like how can you go around looking like a fucking you've just come out of the toilet like I just here we go she's gone again Joe here we go again there it goes here we go I know but do you know would you wear a chocolate brown suit and like expect people to take you seriously yeah because I'm not thinking about feces 24 hours a day like you are anyway I think about other things I did anyway I did the podcast with Jamie and even I imagine me being shook to my core about the level he was going on about it I was like whoa this guy loves poo so anyway yeah no scatology as

we call it scatology hideous can you hear how aggressively he's typing on his laptop don't worry Joe we're just doing a podcast here it's all right sorry just making notes Can you hear how aggressively he's typing on his laptop? Don't worry, Joe. We're just doing a podcast here. It's all right. Sorry, just making notes. Beg your pardon. Yeah, you might want to use a pen, Joe.

So I have my mic up. Sorry. I couldn't stop laughing. Do you see your man Rupert Murdoch's divorcing Jerry Hall and he's 91? He's 90? Like, why bother? Would you be arsed? I just, would I be arsed? like why bother would you be arsed i just i would i be arsed no i would not be arsed like but also would i be arsed getting married at 86 no i also would not be

arsed what's the point do you know what this do you know what this is now this is the problem with viagra this is giving elderly men confidence they absolutely don't deserve to have. Who the fuck does he think he is? Absolutely. 91 years of age. What's he going to do? Go back on Rhea? It's a disgrace. What algorithm?

I guarantee he's 91. He's going to start going out with Selena Gomez. There'll be some child now who'll be dragging down the aisle with him. So, like, will he get a divorce fast enough, though? Like, honestly, he must be nearly dead he looks he looks like he is honestly about to die i saw a man actually like if viagra is a big thing you know it's over the counter because i was behind a guy and because i'm very immature i was trying not to like have a giggle because he was buying viagra and he didn't give a shit

sometimes i'm even scarlet buying tampons and he was just up there buying Viagra like very loudly in the airport yeah but I don't think Viagra it's I mean I'd rather be buying Viagra like see people have to go in and buy anise all I mean I'd much rather be buying Viagra at least Viagra shows you're you've got commitment to the cause do you know know what I mean? Yeah. Oh my God. Actually, yeah. Because I don't like even buying, like if I had to buy a thrush cream or something, I wouldn't be able for it.

I know. Especially now. Do you know what I mean? Because you've got a public profile, as they say. I'd be sending Spencer in for all that stuff. He'd be going in for all the anus, all the tampons,

anything else. The caniston. I'd be sending Gigim when she's old enough um my mom did used to send me and i twice she sent me in for caniston and i didn't know what it was um but yeah rupert murdoch i just but what the hell with jerry hall i mean like like she is so rock and roll so she apparently it's because she smokes she's like i love a drink i love a cigarette and all this job so he's been pictured apparently So rock and roll. So she apparently it's because she smokes. She's like,

I love a drink. I love a cigarette and all this jazz. So he's been pictured apparently before where she's been smoking and he's been kind of like moved, you know, kind of away from her.

I'd say he's on so much fire I'd say his dick is like a sundial. Do you know what I mean? It's like just 12 hours a day. You see, I wouldn't be able like with someone like that like they just look

like they have no dick to me because it's just so disgusting what is what's disgusting calm down now let's not sound like you hate elderly people i don't i love elderly people but there's a fucking level come on he's 91 money's very attractive i'll tell you what money do you know what actually because I was looking looking him up he had to give his

ex-wife where did I put it like something like a hundred and something billion and I thought you know what he actually looks

quite young for his age exactly his money doesn't jiggle jiggle it falls do you know I woke up this morning do you know I woke up this morning do you know i woke up this morning it was so funny i was this morning because i had a bit of a big one last night after

vicar street and um i was covered in pop chip wrappers like covered in them i was like that's my version of do you know when you wake up covered in cash like cardi b except mine is pop bags of pop chips but yeah i don't know i just think with elderly men like that viagra is giving them a full sense like they they can have the confidence that he has if you're with an owl lad and he's obviously strung out and the stuff what you'd have to just reverse cowgirl him and put a box out on because you'd be riding for about 12 hours i'd lose interest i know i know that people say like oh god you you didn't do that for very long I'm fucking glad if it's quick and efficient I don't want to be sitting there for hours

yeah yeah yeah Joe just swear I don't know like I even do you know what I mean it's even if it's a bit premature I've always got things to do. I'm, hello, meet your sister. I've got a load of shit on. Do you know what I mean? If you lose the run of yourself before, if you lose the run of yourself before you've even made it inside me, there's no complaints here.

I've got a lot of commitments at the moment. You know what I mean? Too busy. In, out, Brussels, right right let's go i'm close as well ever ever not to go into detail but like if you ever go on top of yourself very tiring after less than a minute very tiring yeah and they're very slow to take the reins i'm like

come on here this is a you start yeah i give up i'm like now i'm talking yeah will you move me around there yourself because i've really exerted myself here and there, so. But sometimes, sometimes I'm like, God, this is actually great for the thighs. Great for the thighs. And I just push on. Completely lost interest in anything else. I'm now exercising.

Oh, God, your potty power days. Remember, was it potty power you rode the horse for i'll tell you what happened i rode the horse for ladbrokes right and so they had brooks yeah so they had to get me a horse to ride in the race and the horse was called potty power so they had to rename the horse something else because that was the only horse they could get me i have this image of you now kind of like thinking you're riding a horse on Spencer and trying to like what do you say when you take a jump but do you just say take a jump I don't know I don't jump but I always wear I always wear my riding hat when Spenny and I are getting it on ah yeah sometimes the back protector depends what we're up to yeah the jodhpurs are out the jodhpurs are out it was

tough to find a pair of crotchless jodhpurs but i but i got them there in the end and like one of those blazers and little tassels on the tits i love it sexy riding gear why not um no when i was riding the horse like like I haven't gotten back on one since the race. I couldn't sleep for two weeks before the race because I shit myself so much. But like when a horse takes a run with you, you just, the saying is you just have to sit and suffer because you're just, and I, at the time that I fell off the horse and really hurt myself, like I was just sitting there and I knew, I knew it was coming and I could see the end of the gallop.

And I was like, this is, this is us. And then you just get, I just got fl is us and then you just get I just got flung off and you're just like so badly winded and you're like yeah it's horrific but then everyone's annoyed with you because the horse is after running off so like I'm like I'm not a fucking jockey I'm sorry

yeah you're like I'm an influencer I'm not an athlete but I was with this Irish guy guy who was uh what's his name again god i've forgotten i was riding jim jim fahey i think his name was and uh and like because he was just so matter of fact literally i hadn't even caught my breath and he's like get back up there and i was like no like i think i have to go to hospital you were thrown off a horse for god's sake you have to get straight back on another time he was like right she cannot fuck this up he took me to a racetrack like it was

like hugely open green field all you do is slightly curve around the corner i ended up in a bush at the end and he was like he couldn't find the horse the horse had gone so deep into the bush i was lying on the ground and he's like i have never in my 20 years seen a horse in that bush. And I was just like, well, there you go. I'm good at something. Anyway, but I do think a positive thing that I think Geri Hall has done for the wider community is she's put another sugar daddy back in the sea

because we lost a lot of them during COVID. So it's good to know that we have an extra one back because there is a shortage of sugar daddies. Yeah, but who's she going to go for next? Because she's still a ride. She goes for elder men.

I don't know who she's going to get out. She's going to have to, she's going to be using RIP to get anyone older than him. Coming to a graveyard near you with a big shovel, Jerry Hall walking around looking for

her next conquest dragging her fella out by the legs brushing the brushing the earth off his face hello daddy but no i just looked it up his ex-wife got 1.7 billion and that was the one before Wendy Deng so I don't know what Wendy Deng got

so he went for Wendy Deng he was 38 and then he went on to your one what's her name we just spoke about her Geri Hall

Geri Hall yeah who used to be with Mick Jagger who was now I would score Mick Jagger 100% fair play to Geri she's putting the Geri... Now, I would score Mick Jagger. 100%.

Fair play to Geri. She's putting the Geri into geriatric. I like her style. That'll be us now. That'll be me, for sure. 100%. I'll be in my 60s, smoking, drinking, trying to live my life, getting broken up with by men who are like 600 years of age, because they find my lifestyle inappropriate.

Because they can't stand you throwing shit all over their house. Tell me, what age would you go for I'm 36 I think I'd go up to 50 at least it depends it depends on the man and the end like I think there is something I'd like to try all sorts of different experiences she says strangely she said I think like I definitely have father issues as do you because we don't have any fathers well Neil I guess but you know no main ones yeah so no originals no oh yeah the OGs are the OGs are long gone but we have blow-ins as such but we've no we've no originals so that has definitely that has meant that I've made some strange male decisions.

Like I used to do it in standup, but I took it out because no one laughed. But I used to say, if you saw my boyfriends, you'd know straight away my father was dead. Like I just be like, this is my boyfriend. And you'd be like, I'm sorry for your loss because it's clear. No one ever laughed. So I just took it out. Yeah, I think it's funny. They'd be like, oh, sorry for your loss.

I'd be like, thank you. Because I used to go for much older men who kind of parent me. I do tend to be with guys who kind of father me a bit. I kind of go for guys that needed to, need a bit of fixing

is what I was told by my therapist. I found a quote from her in, she says, I smoke, I drink, I like wine,

I love suntanning, I drink coffee coffee i'm doing all sorts of things i shouldn't do i was like i think we'd get it i think she's cracked it's like live fast die old but they're just laughing because the interview was in good housekeeping in 2014 i was like why is cherry wall and it's like me doing an interview with the farmer's journal it doesn't seem to fit but anyway there goes her earphone from her joint ears again just spilled out that can't be I'm always like

why am I after breaking his earphones oh dear how many things how many of Peter's things have you broken so far nothing but there are a lot of

conversations about respect a lot and they're not coming from they're not coming from me as you can imagine it's a very one way conversation

about respect he's literally me he is I feel like we're living the same life now I know you'd want to see

his cutlery drawer like you'd die is it like lined up like my forks are lined on the side it's like there's a divider

you know when every single thing is's a divider, you know, when every single thing is faced in the right way and, you know, it's psychopathic. Fuck, Spenny just scared the shit out of me. It literally couldn't be anyone else. I also live here. Where are my headphones? Did you see the photos of Brad Pitt looking dead

on the front of GQ magazine? Weird. Why would he do that? I've given this a lot of thought. Okay. Now I read the interview. The interview wasn't so bad.

But come here, I had one question because you're my wine connoisseur. That will say a lot for how much wine i drink but but but doesn't he own that really expensive like miraval like doesn't doesn't he own that one like he must be making an absolute fortune from that wine it's everywhere everyone drinks that rosé him and angelina bought that um vineyard together and he's sober now he doesn't drink I know but she was really sly and didn't like she wanted to sell her half but instead of selling it to him she like that's

grudgy she sold it to just a random how annoying a lot of shit I'd say a lot of shit went down there but can you imagine having sex with Angela like she's so sexual and sexy I'd say when she climaxes her head kind of like spins around like it you know when someone's possessed well now the thing about it is right they're both tens so it's kind of both tens yeah so she looks at him and it's like i can't believe i'm having sex with brad pitt and he looks at her and says i can't believe i'm having sex with angie and joely yeah i'd say there's a lot of i'd say they were peeling each other off the ceiling. Anyway, Brad.

Yeah, back to Brad. If I was the makeup artist, I'd be like, don't tag me in that. It looks like he was, it looks like he was, he's fully dead. He's supposed to look dead.

There's a lizard on him. He looks dead. It's like it's his wake. Like he's had a, it wasn't a mech, it was a mortician. He looks like he's been down the morticians. But the interview then, he was he was saying he's like I'm in my final chapter in life

and I was like he was supposed to look dead it's not like a weird choice he wants and it's a shocking photo and actually I was like you know what I actually respect Brad for looking so in bits a lot of actors wouldn't allow themselves to look sound bits well I think it was more about looking absolutely ridiculous than in bits but like he's not I find that weird he's not in his final chapter

he's like 60 60 or something Rupert Murdoch final chapter but Brad Pitt no he did but he did kind of talk about

he was kind of talking about being in his final chapter but anyway look now he knows what he's going to look like when he's dead do you know what I was thinking actually everyone gets makeup trials for their weddings no one gets makeup trials for their own funerals that's probably something you'd i why wouldn't

you consider you're like i want to know what the look is try different morticians and stuff to see who can perfect the winged eyeliner that i want to go down and do you know what i mean yeah yeah i want to be tanned as well i don't want to look pasty a hundred percent i was we'll both be bare by vote ultra foamed no we'll go with low we'll go with lotion for death and we'll top it up with a bit of instant obviously a slight shimmer a slight shimmer i'm not going to get through those pretty gates unless i have a shimmer i love the idea of her coffin covered in glitter to the point where we're like we can't even bury her she's an environmental hazard i'm obviously gonna be getting like she can't go to the ground with that much glitter

on her like that's like greta thunberg will kick off like you can't i'm gonna get sponsored by an amazing coffin and just like literally my last thing will be hashtag ad both live life to the fullest hashtag ad that is it that is it that is it thank you for listening

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