My Therapist Ghosted Me - Amalfi, Gen Z & Charity

Episode Date: October 4, 2024

Picture this... Vogue is on a balcony on the Amalfi coast, Joanne is in her flat in London... But they're both wearing STATEMENT sunglasses. Plus, why tourist areas are not the one and what on earth is going on with Naomi Campbell??If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com/For more information about Joanne's gigs, visit: www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome, blah, blah, blah. Tell me about the sunglasses. Oh, come on. Do you know the amount of footage that I got sent? Any sort of any, whenever there's a ridiculous sonny on the internet, someone sends me on these vogue things. And anytime there's an Afghan hound. Well, I can't tell you the v I feel so. I'm like, ha ha lol. I actually, I was talking, I was on, I did Ryan's radio show with him and he was like, what dog are you like? And

I was like, Oh, I'm one of those Afghan hounds. And I felt big headed saying it. I was like, that's actually like, I'm so obsessed. I'm so obsessed with myself that I think I look like an Afghan hound,'t the fucking sheik. Oh no, it's still a humble brag, you know, it's okay. You're still saying you look like a dog, so I think that's fair. Now where are your shades from speaking of shades? Pitbull? The speedy response though would suggest I've given us some serious consideration. What dog would you be Jo? I'd be a Labrador I'd say.

No you can't just decide you're a Labrador. I'm afraid we haven't discussed that. Oh, okay. Well, I'm happy to put it out to the group. Who would you say? What would Joanne be? A bulldog. I'd like to be a pug, but they're very bad.

No, you're not. Your face is too straight, I was gonna say. It's too smooth to be a pug. Although I do have a puggy nose. Spenny's called Pug. That's his nickname in his family. Pug. Yeah. And he has a similar look to me. Remember he used to say I look like one of those gargoyles off though. When he did that, he just one day started calling me gargoyle and I was like, what? And it was like, it had obviously been something he'd thought about and decided, yeah, that works. And you know the gargoyles, the little gremlins on top of fancy buildings, Joe?

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what he said. Yeah. I've got a strong look, you know. Strong and alarming look. I don't know what dog, I'm going to have to sit with that for a while because I don't want to get it wrong. And Joe, for you- There's no rush. You're a poodle, Joe, obviously.

There's no way I can say this without it sounding offensive because I'm ultimately just telling you. I think Joe I think we're past that. Yeah we're way past that. What is she? There's an element of a sort of Staffordshire Bull Terrier about you. But a sweet one. Are you talking about those long A in face dogs? Let me Google a Staffordshire Bull Terrier because that's a very specific breed of dog. Joe looks like a standard poodle. Look at his hair. He's obviously been swimming again.

Is it swimming day? Folk, don't be lazy now, okay? We can't just rope the hair into, do you know what I think he actually looks like? An Alsatian. No, God. Just because he's got hair, Folk. I met an Alsatian today.

Yes, I did. For lunch. I met one in Positano for lunch today, and I said, Speno, look, there's a gorgeous Alsatian today. Yes, I did. For lunch. I met one in Positano for lunch today and I said, Speno, look, there's a gorgeous Alsatian. And he said, oh, someone, one of those dogs nearly ate someone in America the other day. And I thought, wow. Now come here to me. I'm on. I just, well, I point out my like being on an Italian holiday. We must commend the Italians on the, on the wifi. I'm sitting outside. Give us all the news.

Well, well, I tell you something right. And I don't mean to be bad. So we're staying in the Amalfi, which is gorgeous. It's just the Amalfi now, is it? It was the Amalfi Coast before you flew out there. It's just the Amalfi. I'm just saying I'm in the Amalfs. I'm in the Amalfs. I'ms. Hitting up the Amalfiles, are you? I'm staying in a hotel called the Anantaro Convent, and I kind of assumed it would have something to do with holiness. Monks used to live here and I thought.

Love it. There's a little monk area on the first floor. There's a monk area that you could go to. But we went to Positano today and Spenny never heard of them before. I did notice that actually. They had a fantastic. The Vatican. A straight man did not design that. I'm sorry. Now that you've said that, they do have lovely garments that they wear.

They're always very dressed up. Yeah, they're in drag. So so the men are very cultivated, I've raised, but like very, they're manicured to within an inch of their lives. They're like those like, like I've never like, like 90% of the men that I've seen here. HD. HD eyebrows. HD eyebrows, like they've been into Kim. They're getting their brows done like waxed, trimmed, everything.

I've never seen anything like it. So we're, so we're in a, yeah, like it's basically a convent, but it's absolutely gorgeous. But so we went to Positano today and I was obsessed with going to Positano because I've seen it all over Instagram so much. Spenny had never even heard of it, which I found fascinating. I know I'm aware that I'm also a tourist. Does it mean you want to be surrounded by them? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, it's too touristy. I get it. Yeah, we've all been lost older. It's like when you're sitting in traffic and you're going mad about the traffic. You're

like, I'm also in the traffic. You know, you're part of the problem. I added to the Positano tourist problem today, but I wasn't happy about it. You're like, I've been here for 48 hours. I'm technically a local and I'm finding this very touristy. So tomorrow we're, we're hopping on a ferry tomorrow and we're going off to Capri for the day. And then I just, yeah, no, very nice. What's the occasion? I think it's Capri. No, you're thinking of the sun. You're thinking of Capri sun. Yeah. You're peasant. She's in the Amalfi. God, you're so uneducated, Joe. It's Capri. Capri.

Joe often has holidays to Robina. You loser. Summer's in my wadi. And winter's in Robinson's. Oh God. So go on Capri, tell us more. Well, there's it's more lemon than orange, by the way, Jo, just if you must know, there's lots of lemons over there. Now, I can't really tell you anything about it because I haven't been. I just know it's a very nice place to go.

Would you know? Look at me now for a second. Would you know that my mom dressed me? She chose this outfit. I was not going to say anything, but I was. You've managed to, and considering the amount of work we both get done, you've managed to age yourself. I don't know how you've done that. I can only blame the garments.

What's happening? Why? What's happening? Well, actually, I do like the outfit, but it's I let my mom help me pack the other day, which was an unusual turn of events, and she just kept choosing things that she'd want to wear. So that's why I look like Sandra today. Nobody has so much as creeped on me, but I'm assuming because I think I am of an older generation in the outfit. So they didn't bother. Yes. Yeah. They're like, Oh, look, one of the Kennedy's is here.

People keep calling me nanny and I don't know why. I wonder why everyone was shouting nanny after me today. No, no. I actually don't. I love the glasses, but the jacket. No, I wasn't wearing the jacket today. I'm just saying that I love the jacket, just not with this outfit. I'm sorry, Sandra. She doesn't listen anyway. It's fine. Bit of description given that it's a podcast. Oh, so it's well, it's Meghan Markle. So it's quite it's like a two piece. It's quite presidential. It's quite it's got pom poms on it. It's very

colorful. It's actually a beautiful jacket, but not with the dress I'm wearing. I think I could read it. But a leather trousers. I would call it a summer Tory. Summer Tory. Yes. Tory summer, I would say. Summer Tory, yes, agree. Tory summer, I would say. Oh, God, I was also going to invest in a selfie stick. I saw everyone going around Positano today with a selfie stick. And I thought, I think it's time to bring back the selfie stick. Because I saw some of the shots they were getting and they were unbelievable compared to my shit.

I've only picked up that 9.5 thing that all the Gen Zers are doing because the Gen Zers told me how to do it. And then you turn the camera around. Yeah, I only figured that out. Do you not see all of my pictures are that now? I found out about it like a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, you turn it around you do 0.5 and take a picture like this. Yeah, no, no, I'd heard about the 0.5 thing. Vogue, there's like coming from a place of love. No, to the selfie stick. Me and Jo would, we just couldn't handle it. It's too much.

It's too, you're a local now. You're giving out about the tourists. Imagine you fucking rocking out with the selfie stick. It's too much. Okay, fine, fine, fine. You're too, no. Well then I don't think you can have your little back scratcher thing anymore, the thing on the long stick. What? Hold on, that's for my private use. My hand back scratcher. I know, it's just a bit unusual really. I think that we're too old to have things like that.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's like the way I see people running with their, what are they called? The selfie sticks. They're running and there's just, I just think there's too much documentation. I think people need to calm the fuck down. I'll tell you what, there was a lot of people on the boat today

because we got the ferry over to Positano and there was a lot of people on the boat, because we got the ferry over to Positano and there was a lot of people on the boat. Like one person was just videoing the whole time. Yes. You're not going to watch that back. You're never going to watch that back. You never watch it back. You never watch it back. Do you know what I always find really funny on date naps when the lads have

photos of themselves eating dinner on holidays and you know that photo you just take of your boyfriend or girlfriend? They're sitting opposite you. And I'm like, your girlfriend? He's eating like, you know, it's clearly come from an all inclusive buffet dinner. Sitting there all sunburned with his aparel spritz. They're like, your girlfriend? So I actually saw a thing once where someone found the girl and the boy,

they'd like kind of cut the photo in half and used each used it as their hinge profile photos and someone put them together. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know how I was going to bed the other night. She goes, I'm going to watch a TikTok. I was like, what? It's a great channel. Back to my Italian getaway. I saw something right when I was gone by a graveyard. So I was quickly blessing myself twice because I like to do that because once only opens your prayer and I don't want God seeing what I get up to for the whole day. So I like to close the prayer quickly after.

It's gone by the graveyard and everyone had pictures of themselves on the grave. Oh yes, the QR code. No, no, no, no, no. It was actual just like a little picture. And like it was from when they were like, it was obviously like from about a week before they died. And I just thought if I'm going to get any picture on my gravestone, it's got to be like I wanted to be what's that thing called? Facetuned, facetuned to within an inch of his life. And from when I'm in my 20s, I don't want something from now.

Of course not. Do you mean that they were kind of sick in their photos? Like, is it? Or do you mean they were an elderly of an elderly age? Yeah, just very old. I'd just rather use a picture. That's just what they use in the picture. Oh yeah. That's like, that was always my issue with heaven. Yeah, I totally agree. What version, if it's true, what version goes up?

Am I waxed? Am I lasered? Am I smooth? I am gonna assume. Have I had Botox? Is it my original form? I don't want that up there for eternity. She's in bits.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Do you know what I mean? These are all important questions to ask when you're deciding on a religion. Who's going to keep me in my hottest form? I think that's the most important thing when deciding on a religion. But did you see that thing that's going around TikTok at the moment? And it's all the Gen Zers trying to explain why Gen Zers look older than us millennials.

And it's because have you not seen all that? You're a TikToker. I dabble. Yeah, I haven't seen that. So the Gen Zers are saying and like there was a couple of them coming on to show how much older they look, they said that they look older because, well, because they feel like that they're more stressed. And when you look at Kylie Jenner and stuff like that, because they get lots more work done in some cases.

In ages, yeah. Yeah, that they start looking older. And also supposedly, and I can say this now, because I'm on a high fucking horse, they vape. Oh! Imagine vaping. Is that it? Disgusting. Do you know what I find interesting,

and we'll come back to the vaping, do you know how generations are always slagging each other? Like, do the Gen Z's not realise that they will be our age? Like, do they not get that they will be us? Do you know what I mean? And the generation below them will slag them. And that's kind of always never really made sense to me. On the vaping. Are you still off it? Still off the vapes. Thank you, Sharon.

I think it's called head tonic. Still off the vapes. Thank you, Sharon. I think it's called head tonic. Still off the vape. I am handing her number out like it's candy. Candy from America. Honestly, that's great. Did you see your man on TikTok again? An important article.

He was trialing vapes in China. I know. I saw that. He put me off at the time. And he's like 20 vapes in his mouth. Like so basically he's trialing it like anyone has to trial a product before it goes to market. But it's just one dude in a lab chain smoking vapes. Like his poor lungs. My God. Back in my vaping days, I saw that and I was like, God, that's my dream job.

Yeah. Like pulling yourself to sleep looking at it. You're like, Oh yeah, 60 vipes in one hell. Love it. Sign me up. Sign me up. The Gen Z, sorry, just backed back to them. They were saying that we're bigger fans of the Paris filter, which I will put my hands up and there is it.

Yeah, because we're older. At all times. But supposedly it means that because we want to look like the Paris filter that we go out of our way to try and look like the Paris filter. So do they. That's like the problem is that these younger, the younger women, and so are we, like we're a victim to this as well. We fought this.

They're bringing in photos themselves with filters on them going, can you make me look like that? I've said it before, I'll say it again. I think it's going to, it's going to overcorrect, and the generation below the generation below the generation that we're talking about are going to sack it all off. Socials will be dead. Work will be dead.

Everyone's just going to, it'll be cool. Gray hair will be deadly. Wrinkles will be cool. Everything always comes full circle. I think, although beauty kind of does book the trend. Beauty has always been, women have always wanted to look younger, and men, historically, even in Egypt.

Well, we want to look younger and we want to be younger. Like that's, like I want to be younger. No, I don't. Live forever. I told you this. I don't want. I read something the other day that was saying, the person who will live forever is already alive. Oh don't say that to me. That makes me so happy. That's probably going to be me.

Yeah, okay. I'm so excuse me. Sure. Sure. I've been running on holiday. I'm surely going to be the one to live forever. Gone are my rules. You're our Brian Johnson. Isn't Brian Johnson your man who's and all those billions trying to keep his... You know he's taking blood from his own son. He's doing blood transfusions from his son. I can only hope his son is consenting and awake because it sounds creepy when he's taking blood from his son. It kind of sounds creepy but in a way it's not because when you think about it, when I... So when you give birth to your child, you get like a stem cell collection

from a company that they come and they basically take your, what's that thing called, your umbilical cord. But then in the future, if your kids get sick, it can help with like all these diseases and then they use their own stem cells to make themselves okay. And then you could use it if you want. I think it's the most amazing thing in the world. Does Gigi know that you're going to be wearing her face in about 12 to 14 years? Does she know she's being birthed to be harvested? Does she know? I'll be wearing Oshos. Why are you spoke having more kids?

She needs more skin. Joanne has never taken such an interest in her godchild. She's had him for three days. Rocked down Otto's face. I forgot to tell you this. I wrote this down last week and I forgot to tell you about it. And I have found the man for you. Oh, hold on. I need to pour a drink for this insult that's coming my way.

It's not. Joe, I don't know how I've missed this for so long. She's not going to be insulted. She's going to think it was right under our noses this entire time. Is it Joe? No, it's not Joe. My God. I'm sorry.

If Joe had to spend a week with either one of us, he'd have a nervous breakdown. Joe, we're too close now. I'd have to roofie myself to rise you, to be honest. Fair play, mate. Yeah, that's understandable. You know. OK, get ready. Go on. Go on. He is tall. He is gorgeous, chiseled body,unning. He likes sports. You like sporty

people. Are you trying to regift Spencer? Because I'm not having it. I want someone new. I don't want someone you've been to death and are sick of. Take him off my hands. Who stopped producing sperm because you've taken it all out of him. I don't want your leftovers. Actually, I thought about you right before. Half inflated testicle left because you've literally ridden it all out of them.

I thought about you right before intercourse last night Joanne. Good, I'm glad you did. Some more of that please. Do you want to know why? No, I don't think I do want to know why. Because, as many goes to me, you go on top and I was like, ah, no, I will tomorrow. I will tomorrow. And it reminded me of you. The lingerie.

Wasn't that the lingerie? Wasn't the lingerie? I kept frightening some ladders going out with them. Where at the next day? The next. We're at the next day. The next day. We're at the next day. The next day. I will tomorrow.

I promise. I'm just a bit tired tonight. Yeah, yeah. Tomorrow. The next day. We're breaking up and he's like, and the lingerie. I feel so embarrassed. I actually feel too embarrassed in lingerie.

I just do. I feel like such a gobshite wandering around. Do you think you're going to be like Sienna Miller in Lair? Okay, can you just song around? Trying to pull it out of your arse because it keeps riding up. I know it's so undignified. I wore lingerie on a date recently that I was on a prom. I thought I was on a promise.

And I sat there in my frilly bits and bobs, very uncomfortable. Even the suspenders. I was trying to make Joe feel guilty that I had to wear lingerie. I don't know why I did that. It was actually perfectly comfortable, Joe. I'm sorry. It's OK. I'm sorry I dragged you into my toxic femininity there. Do you know what we do? do you know what we go through? It's actually just knickers and a bra.

Oh, I thought you did the suspenders and everything. Suspenders, I mean, I wouldn't be against suspenders, but it's a lot of rig morel really, isn't it? I know, but I find that they're the sexiest part there. You can't just be going around and matching knickers and bra, that's not sexy enough. If you want to like full, if I'm going to do what I want to do it. I mean, I never do it.

So like, but if I was going to, if I'm going to do it, I want to go all in and I'm not prepared to do any of it. So I'm just going to not do it. I was in, I was, if I was going to do it, I mean, like it'd be next level. But I just couldn't be honest going that far. So I just don't do it. I was in harness trying on jeans, but I was I was doing to do it. I mean, like it would be next level, but I just couldn't be honest going that far. So I just went to it. I was in harness trying on jeans, but I was I was doing something in harness and I was trying on jeans and I actually got undressed. I was like, I got such a fight because I was

wearing matching knickers and bra and I didn't even mean to. I was like, what the fuck? How did that happen? So I do like it. I do like a matching two piece now, I have to say. My big thing was when I turned 40, I was like, OK, from now on, we open all posts and we wear matching socks. That was my big kind of life. Matching socks, yeah. I leveled up. I'd have to do matching socks.

The date. Yeah. I'm on a date wearing linguini, matching top and bottom. I was on A Promise or so I thought. So I sat there feeling hypersexual. I was like looking at him going, you've no fucking idea what you've no idea. The treat that's coming your way. If only you knew what's going on

under these baggy jeans and polo neck. If only you knew the treat that you're about to be served because basically my knickers and bra are the same colour so I'm calling it lingerie. If only you knew. And he walked me home, pecked me on the cheek and set me up the stairs. Oh my God. You got nothing out of it? Nothing. No, no. And he kissed me like I was his mother. Oh my. Well don't worry. I told you I've got a new man for you.

This is how it all started. Sorry. Who is it? I feel like I've really hit the nail on the head this time and I'm not joking. Tom Brady. Oh yeah. Okay. I'm open to this. Go on. Is he mad? What's wrong Joe? What's wrong? What's wrong Joe? He doesn't know who Tom Brady is. He's just reminding me of the look. Oh yeah. He, I'm open to this. Go on, is he mad? What's wrong Joe? What's wrong? What's wrong Joe? He doesn't know what Tom Brady is. He's just reminding me of the look. Oh yeah, no, he's very handsome.

Yeah, absolutely right. I'd say he's good crack. He's not playing like professional sport anymore, so he doesn't have to be training all the time. He doesn't follow me on Instagram. Does that, should that bother me or no? I would send him, send him a DM and just say, hey listen Tom, my friend is in Amalfs and she told me Positano's not great because it's too touristy but I suggest that you and I come to the Amalfs together. Let's just slip him a DM now and be like, Tom, I heard you're mad for me but you're not following me. I don't want to play games. I'm 41. If this is going to be a thing, just

let it roll. And him and Giselle seem like good exes. Sometimes our brand knickers match. Boom. Oh for you my friend. Control yourself. Yeah. He's apparently worth minimum $300 million. She's not after the money Jo. She's after the love. It helps, it helps right? I'd be open to, yeah tell him, tell him him I said yeah tell him he can ask me out. Okay I'll get on to him I'll drop him a DM. Yeah I'd be open to that. I like sports and stuff. I like sports I like money and I like someone who's good looking I did it I knew I'd find

somebody eventually. He's got centimeters in all the right directions from what I'm told up and out. Love it. Very, very tall man and I mean it wouldn't even matter if his face looked like a burst basketball you'd still go there because he's tall. I started following Gwyneth today on Instagram. You're welcome Gwynny. Gwyneth Paltrow? Yeah. She came up on something. I was like, she's actually a cool crack. Folk, I have... I'm excited.

Something special for you. My work wife. It's going to happen. I'm very excited. It's going to happen. I'm very excited. I have put together a very detailed and very short succinct quiz about Italy. OK, great. How many questions? As tradition, as tradition, there was one. Sorry, can we also just before the one question quiz, can we speak briefly about Naomi Campbell? I was literally about to bring that up before you said the quiz.

Yes. Please. See, the great thing is Joe doesn't know anything. So we get to explain things to Joe. Joe, I hear this. And at least you brought it up. So if Naomi Campbell fucks a shoe at any of us, it will be you. Now, so such a good point, Fogue, okay?

Now, why anyone is expecting moral sanitized behavior from Naomi Campbell shocks me. Anyway, we are. We move on. Naomi Campbell has been done for basically siphoning off money from a charity that she was involved with, that she was the head of or something like this. Well, there was multiple incidents of misconduct they found. Yeah. Misspending of spending. Spending, misspending. Well, I mean, she was literally like putting spa treatments and five star hotels through

the charity. Yeah. Naomi is gonna Naomi. You know what I mean? Like what the fuck? You can't be robbing from children or whoever she was stealing from. That's an intense statement, folk. It's Naomi Campbell. She is just, she did community service dressed in a sequined gown for throwing a phone at her maid's head. That's yeah, but I mean, I don't know. It's just something about the whole charity thing. Let me just find out what her charity thing is. Fashion. Fashion.

Okay. So Fashion for Relief was a charitable organization that raised funds for various environmental and humanitarian causes, except Naomi Campbell was taking herself off to get a laser facial with the charity's money. Do you mind me interrupting you and saying at this stage, how the fuck, if we're getting free facials, how on earth is Naomi not getting free facials? Is that a terrible thing to say? Who is her publicist?

That's what I want to know. She probably went to the hotel and was like, don't worry, the charity will get us. She's like, I'll pay double. It's from the children. It's a gift. Now what I will say only slightly in her defense, there's certain things at charities, like if you donate to a charity, it's like it's nice to know that all the money is going to a charity.

But sometimes, like people are paid from that charity and stuff like that. But it's just unusual for someone like her to be asking for facials and stuff. And there was like loads of instances. So she's banned from doing any work for that charity for five years. I mean, I don't think anyone in the charity industry would read that story and be like, oh, we must hire her. I think she's fine. I don't think she's going to be turning down her work. I don't think she's going to be like waiting to get back into the charity biz in five years time because of all the offers. She's a con woman. But it's Naomi Campbell.

She's a super hot alien who has never, I would say if you handed Naomi a receipt for something, she'd just think it was like blotting paper and just blot her face down. That woman hasn't paid for anything. She doesn't, Naomi doesn't get bills and stuff. It's Naomi Campbell. I know, I know. She probably couldn't distinguish the difference. I'd say it was an accident. She accidentally ripped off a charity. I mean, it could happen to the rest of us. Do you know what? You and Naomi are very alike because you started off that trend with the troker box. Remember? You used to steal the troker box. And do you know what, Vogue? Yeah, you're right to bring that up because it's true. Those in glass houses

cannot throw stones so this is me defending the Omies. Ripping off charities because it's something I did in my past. I've made my amends. You can very sure have. I got a letter from UNICEF that said Joanne, well it was also posted to Joanne but anyway I ripped that open and she gave loads of money to UNICEF. So she's giving back. I did. I love that you're like my mother. My mother just rips at anything now, any post. Like she'll send me a screen grab of the most private information that's been posted to her house in Dublin. She doesn't even apologize anymore. She's like, you've got herpes.

Again. Again. Yeah. Your tests have come back. And you owe 400 grand to the revenue. Okay. I'm not trying to show off, but I also had given money to UNICEF so I assumed it was for me. But one of the costs for Naomi Campbell was security. And I was like, yeah, because you're fucking ripping everyone off. You're a target. I'm pretty sure I lent her money at some stage. Honestly, like, you know, I worked for a charity before and they are just a business like everyone else. It's just, you assume that everyone's going to be walking around kind of stroking each other and complimenting each other. They're not. It's just a business.

Like there's, you can't be doing certain things. Do you know? You can't steal from charities. It's I mean, it's not a great look. I would say not a great look. Not not a good certainly. It's a really embarrassing thing to happen to her. But do you remember that girl, Kira Farragani?

Is that her name? You know, you're one who used to we used to she used to have the full pizza and then take a picture with a slice of pizza was the full. Oh, you're one she was on. You didn't eat that, the Insta paint. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's this huge influencer actually in Italy. And she got done because she basically, yeah, she said that she was going to give all this money that people were donating for a cake that was up for sale. She was going to give all this money to this big charity and the cake sales went over something like 400,000 euro.

And she was then fined because she didn't give anything to the charity. She pretended she gave absolutely nothing to charity. So she got fined a million quid. And then she said that she'd donate another million. The damage is done, babe. The damage is done. Remember Captain Tom's daughter? That was absolutely, do you remember that? It was awful. And he died without even knowing that it had happened. So he basically raised all this money and was amazing. And like he did this incredible thing and his daughter robbed it all. I was trying to build

herself a swimming pill or something. Did she though? Cause she wasn't she on this morning kind of defending her position and then I lost interest in it. Did she? Yeah she got done for it. Oh Scarlett. Oh that poor man. Imagine him. He'd be fucking turning his grave now I can tell you. He'd be walking in his grave. He loved to walk. He'd be walking around down there. He'd done such a great thing. No point walking anymore Tom. The boy's gone into a spa. That was his legacy. His whole legacy then got completely fucked up by his

own daughter because she was such a greedy beast. because she was such a greedy beast. Do you happen to be giving me my quiz? Can you imagine what a conversation, a conversation between myself and Joanne goes at all? Will someone just get us Adderall and be done with it? Like why are we fighting against this? It's impossible. I've had to make notes here to remember to finish stories.

Can we talk about Chappelle Rowan or no? Yeah, yeah, I'm happy to talk about her, but I want my quiz first. Please listen to her. We have to make notes. She goes on to something else. The quiz. I really wish you could concentrate on something. Have you heard about Chabelle Rowan? She always blames me and I haven't remembered to know if it was me or not.

Do you remember we went for dinner? I went for dinner with you and Spano and some of his male friends and they were they were buying us dinner, which was very nice. But do you remember they saw like they were ordering. Oh, which was very nice. But do you remember they saw like they were ordering. Oh, God, yeah. One of the lads, they're like, will you have a mac and cheese as a side? I was like, what? So this as a side, this like soup bowl of macaroni and cheese. Like there was men, their eyes, I feel, are maybe bigger than their stomachs. I remember that night.

You get a side of broccolini, You don't get a side of another mate. A broccolini. Was that the night that woman slagged my shoes? Yeah. Do you know what? You know when someone mails you the wrong thing by accident? I got one of those mails last night. Do you want to know what it was? It was when I was wearing my Italian headscarf and this woman mailed me and was like, oh my God, this is so funny, but she looks like a man. I was in reply to your story, but sent it to you, but thought she was slagging you off to a friend. Yeah, yeah.

That wasn't written back just yet. Did you reply? Yeah, I just wrote back and I said, you've sent this to the wrong person. Good for you. How embarrassing for her. Sorry. I didn't look like a man in my headscarf. I look like a woman. I can just can I just say I saw that video

and you didn't look masculine at all. And there are times when you do and I do. Joe never does, which is his own problem. Me and you do. I think I think it's because I had no mascara on. That's what it is. The eyes sink in the face. Piss holes in the snow. That's what they were looking like. And all men have pissy eyes and that's why she thought I looked like a man.

My mother, Pat. I fucking sent her out walking around the garden actually, that's a great idea. Pat, you're not doing anything. Get out there into the garden. Do another loop, one more loop. Another loop, another loop of the estate. Look at her there. I'll go live on the Gram. What are you going to ask me about Italy? Come on. It's like where was pizza made? I don't know yet because I just googled interesting Italian facts. Vogue, you'll get your quiz when I think you're ready for your quiz. You need to calm down, OK?

It's all coming. Better be the absolute bollocks. I've got it. Vogue Williams. Yes, Joanne McNaughton. Can we get like a kind of a suspense jingle there? Like for counting? I'll add it in post.

Yeah, add it in post Jo, whatever that means. Romans are said to adore their something friends so much that they are considered a biocultural heritage. They're Italian friends. What? Oh, I thought you said something and I was meant to guess what it was. Yeah, you are. But but not like that. Yeah, not yet.

You felt like you have to finish the question. Jesus. This can't be right. This can't be the question. This is how I quiz. Okay, continue. Okay. Go again. Go again. Did I tell you about the pub because I went to recently and I've never felt more stupid in my life. Like they were sharks. Like these were, I was thrown in amongst professional

quiz gowers who were pretending they'd never been at a quiz before. Like it was. They're the worst kind of people by the way. It should be investigated. It was a Monday night in Clapham. It was supposed to be a casual event. Not fun. My God, my God. That was the worst part about lockdown was the quizzes.

I couldn't handle a family quiz again. And my mom used to be so fucking smug sitting there cause she'd won. And the only reason she won was because Neil had answered all the questions. And she'd be like, oh, we've won again. No, you didn't win, Sandra. You did not win. Neil won. Flying on his coattails, Sandra. Yeah. Clinging on for dear life. Where do you think I got it from, Sandra? You. The Italian police force, Vogue, your quiz is here. Your quiz has arrived.

She's changed the question. No, no, no, no. I don't. I don't. I don't enjoy this feedback. It is as it is my right as a quiz master to spice it up at the last minute if I so wish. Okay, okay, we're ready. The Italian police force use what car? Sporadically, not all the time. A Fiat. Nope. Up again, baby. A Ferrari. A Ferrari. You're in the right area.

A Lamborghini. A Lamborghini. Yes! A Lamborghini. Lamborghini. You failed the the right area. A Lamborghini. Yes! A Lamborghini. You failed at the question, but yes. Well, I'm sorry. As someone on the ground in the Amalfs, I think I'd know if they were driving around in Lamborghinis and they are not driving around in Lamborghinis. I've seen a lot of Fiat's, a lot of Fiat's, not one Lamborghini. That's in Dubai that they all have Ferraris and Lamborghinis. I'm sorry Vogue, are you disputing the internet?

Yes I am because sometimes the internet is full of shit. Not every Italian police officer can be found driving a Lamborghini but the famous supercar brand and the Italian police have indeed been working together for the last 20 years. Lamborghini provides cars to be used for special medical services that need extra fast support, such as the transportation of organs to patients. Oh, my God. Imagine now when your liver was coming to you in a Lamborghini. So high end. It's almost a fucking reason to get rid of mine.

If I knew it was coming in a Lamborghini. It's on the way. I'm like, I'll only donate my organs if they are transported in a Lamborghini. It's on the way. I'm like, I'll only donate my organs if they are transported in a Lambo. If you put it on a bus or an Uber, not giving it to them. You're dead right. I have another one for you, Vogue. Okay.

Romans are said to adore their blank France so much that they are considered a biocultural heritage. Anyone convicted of killing a blank could face a 10 grand fine and up to three years in the slammer. What is the blank? Italian? No, is it not that? Italian. I don't understand. They're Italian friends. No. No? They're European friends.

No. They're hot friends from Italy. No. What is it? You've lost the quiz. They're Catholic, Catholic friends. Food or rate? Feline.

Cats. What's that got to do with Italy? We're doing a quiz on Italy. That's about Rome. I'm sorry, has Rome moved out of Italy? I'm not aware. I didn't realize Rome was on the move. I was actually thinking of Greece.

I mean, you're on the ground. Like you have the... Has Rome removed? Where is Rome? It's near Portsmouth now. I was thinking of Greece. Listen, from all sides, I think. I've done a lot of walking today. OK, up and down steps like you wouldn't believe.

We're blaming the steps. I'm the same. I walked up a left flight of stairs once and forgot where Paris was. Honestly, it's just the most... No wonder you are so confused looking. I was like, why is she so confused looking? I walked up a lot of stairs today. And with that, I bid you all goodbye. And I wish I hadn't been dragged here out of my will to do work on my holidays. I'm going back to my Italian

friends. Okay. Adios Vogue. Good luck to you. Ciao Bella. Capri. Spenny was saying that he... Are you drunk Vogue? I mean, I respect it. No, I'm actually really tired. I told, I said to Spen, was like, please, can we just sit and do nothing for a minute? He said to me the other day, cause he was like, oh, you're going to think I'm so cool because I'm going to start speaking all my Italian. And he was like, I bet you the first thing that you say to somebody is Ola. And then obviously it was at the top of his head and this woman came over and he goes, Ola.

I was like, ha like, you fucking idiot. So the bonding, the relationship bonding is going well. He asked me today, he was like, Are you talking about the kids again? Is that all you think about? I haven't thought about them all day. You're like, I don't just shoot them out and then forget they exist. Yeah, it's probably a bit full on. I keep going on. I'm like, let's face time them.

Spencer needs to set an alarm to remember he has kids. 9am. Fuck, I've got three kids. Shit. Get up. 4pm. Oh my God. He's like your man from Memento. 11pm. Fuck, I've had three games. Thank you so much everyone for listening and we are going to be in America next week and Joanna's going out first and she's doing lots of lovely shows out there and you can find

all information. Tonight, tonight, tonight. Oh Joanna's in Denver tonight. And tomorrow night. Friday Saturday. Friday Saturday. joannbcnaigh. tonight. And tomorrow night. Friday, Saturday. Joanne McNaughton.com in America. I mean it's small. You can surely shuffle around. You know, travel. And My Therapist Goes With Me is in New York, Boston and Toronto and you can find tickets

on My Therapist Goes With Me.com. And then I go back and do Washington DC alone. Like a loser. I mean hopefully there's people in the audience but I mean without Vogue.