My Therapist Ghosted Me - Another Festival, Headline News & 3 Months Off The Booze

Episode Date: July 14, 2023

Vogue's making a big pledge this week, but will it stick?? Plus, vaping is out, acupuncture is in and Joanne has made the headlines!!If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/MTGM is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! For tickets, merch and more, visit mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Goes With Me with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally. We're recording on a Monday morning but we have to give Friday afternoon vibes which is difficult actually because it's pissing rain in Ireland and it's

Oh it's nice here It's the most Monday-est of Mondays It's grey It's grim It's before 12 o'clock My eyes should not be open but here we are working

She looks great She's got makeup on she's in good form well Vogue obviously we just did a five minute rant before the microphones went on

because we're giving we're trying to get we're trying to flush out the Monday that was the Monday that we're trying to flush out the Monday morning but

I did have a bit of a large one this weekend no shame in the large game what I will say is I don't feel amazing And I'm under Vogue's advice Going to flush my body out today Loads of water

I'm flushing myself out like a cistern I went out Friday Had a really nice day Regret nothing No shame, no shame, no shame, no shame Keep telling yourself that No shame, no shame, no shame Once I realised my lizard eyes were some sort of dermatitis or something and not alcohol related I was like grant back out I went had a lovely evening came home the next day and

I had one of those hangovers where like your body is a temple oh my body is a wheelie bin for 12 hours straight any shite is getting swallowed oh has anyone eaten that cardboard has anyone eaten that styrofoam hold on I'll just put peanut butter on it and eat it for the day I was like what's gonna stop me eating there was just I wasn't full there was no point I was satiated it was it was carnage I was like I'm going to have to get a gastric band I don't know what

I'm going to do to stop this how do I stop eating I know you're going to have to get on days like that the only thing that you can do

is get Alan to muzzle you because you won't be able to stop it's a hole you know get your gimp mask that he has the gimp mask that you bought

for like sexy nights I was like Alan you gimp mask that he has the gimp mask that you bought for like sexy nights I was like Alan you need to see if anyone will wire a jaw shut in Enniscarry on Sunday morning because I can't

do another day like this and it's not about weight I'm not being I'm not giving out about weight gain it's not that

we're body positive we're body positive I'm just saying it was there was no dignity in it It was I was eating with my hands

I kept saying I said to I said to Alan I said don't No Like please No more What are they called?

The little babies that you eat Jelly babies They're crap Exactly It's not even about taste It's about self-loathing I think I don't know what it is

Who buys jelly babies seriously Alan does and Joe's just put his hand up What jelly babies would be they're in the same lane as wine gums for me

I wouldn't touch them Oh yeah I'd have them too Why Oh wine gums crap no way Don't be so don't be so judgmental

Okay you just were judgmental about the jelly babies because you know yourself that they're disgusting I love them they're gorgeous What else did you eat I'd like to know what you eat in a hangover I can't go I can't I'm not going back over it it was just it was grim I well I I too I hit it too hard I hit it too hard on Saturday and yesterday I just felt so awful as soon as I opened my eyes I was like I knew I hadn't had enough sleep I felt so awful. As soon as I opened my eyes, I was like,

I knew I hadn't had enough sleep. I felt so ill to the point where at 11 o'clock in the morning, I had to take one of my pregnancy sickness tablets because I was like, this is just...

And funnily enough, I wasn't really able to eat all day because I felt so sick, but I'd rather have felt well enough to be eating loads of crap because that makes you feel better. But I couldn't eat anything really. And then until my Chinese that I got, did you see the Chinese? Well, I did see it. eating loads of crap because that makes you feel better but I couldn't eat anything really and then

until my Chinese that I got did you see the Chinese well I did see it and the reason I saw it was because I was getting dms from people asking me where you got your Chinese I know I got a lot of I got a lot of mails about the Chinese now obviously we way over ordered so we're having Chinese for lunch and for dinner today. It's literally, we ordered so much. Well, there was a sense there was going to be

four of us eating and then it turned into, no, it was going to be five, turned into four. Obviously, we weren't as hungry as we thought we were. But anyway, so my hangover was so bad yesterday

that I have decided, and I would like to publicly say this, it's an announcement I have for the podcast. I'm giving up booze for three months. I don't want to feel like that again for at least three months. That's how bad I felt yesterday.

Are you really going to do that now? Yes, Benny's going to teach me. What does that bring us to, Jo? October. October, my birthday. Which will be sober October, so you can just do another one then. Well, that's the plan. I hope I love it so much that I just want to do it again.

Well, I wish you well on your journey. I feel like do you know what you know I decided because you're like take the ring go go I was I was with the kids all day yesterday and I was like I just want to go to bed at seven o'clock and I had to get into bed at seven and I was like there's no point in wasting some of my very few days off by feeling sorry for myself and feeling so ill that I have to then like take a sickness tablet like I'm not doing it I want to go on my holidays and like have a holiday and not be like trying to catch up on sleep or anything like that just like have a nice time now haven't told Amber that about this drinking situation but I know her and Megan will not be happy well at least they have each other on the holiday well I kind of touched on it with Megan and Megan is one of my friends who's coming on holidays with us she um

she might be Amber might be getting drop kicked on her own she's well able for it on her own she loves it she'd drink on her own once we're there with her yeah I mean there is a lot of pressure around drinking which that's why I do it it's not because I want to it's because I feel pressured by other people even when I'm alone weirdly I can just feel the pressure from stagnant I look on Instagram

and I'm like my friends are looking back at me from photos I feel judgment I'm like better have a glass of wine I would love your what's the word willpower

willpower willpower that's it I would love your willpower I would love your what's the word? Willpower? Willpower. Willpower. That's it. I would love your willpower. I would love it. I know we're only on day two. Come on.

I haven't got willpower yet. I'm not great at it because I have a very bendy arm. I do like the feeling of being drunk. Three months is a very long time for obviously someone like myself when my job is

like drinking is kind of like an occupational hazard of stand up. Now in saying that, I haven't done a gig in a week. So, you know, I can't always blame work. But, you know, you've seen the road life. It's quite busy. I know. But my thing about it is I just feel like.

You can do that. You could do that in three. You could do three months in your sleep. Not a problem. I'm going to really try. And only because like I just feel like I feel like I get more you've seen me when i'm hung over like oh my day can be ruined from it like and that's like a night out which is loads of fun but then the next day i'm like that's a whole day gone just feeling like rubbish you're so productive anyway i kind of i fear for

me and joe what you'd be like if you're not drinking like we're gonna be doing the pot at 4 a.am and stuff just take me down just keep your shit just keep your shit together okay just don't go insane

I've actually got another secret do you hear that cough I have another secret to tell our pod listeners I'm ashamed to say I took up vaping at Glastonbury and

it's my throat is sore my lungs are sore I get headaches from it so I gave up vaping yesterday it is actually so bad for you you'd be better off smoking I'd say yeah I could not agree more smoking like cigarettes are organic do you know what I mean compared to vaping I know I've given up vaping I'm gonna take take up smoking instead yeah lean on the fags lean on the fags I've given up the vapes

I've given up the vapes they are gross like when I was down in Ross Lair visiting a friend of mine I went in I don't know why like I just

I don't sometimes I just take a note like you know just take a notion I was like I'd love a little because we were having wines and stuff

and I was like I'd love a little cigarette and I was like don't get a cigarette get I was like, I'd love a little, because we were having wines and stuff and I was like, I'd love a little cigarette. And I was like, don't get a cigarette, get a vape. So I went down to the shop, the local shop. And to say I had difficulty

getting a tobacco vape, I was like, what are your vapes? He goes, watermelon, candy floss, spice bag, fucking chicken fillet

rail flavored. I was like, can I just get a tobacco? And he's like, eh. And it took him ages to find one that was just tobacco he'd only

one option that was tobacco now I'm sorry I don't even know they did tobacco flavor vapes what adult is going in buying a blue razz me that's who's going in buying a blue razz I just think that it's so dark it's basically like alco pops for for kids Do you know what I mean You're going Oh look So bad A vape flavour Like a Wham Bar What adult is buying them

Are they I don't know if they are Have you met me I love stuff like that Yeah you do have Quite a sweet tooth though I just think Most

And I'm not saying You're abnormal But most Regular people Are going in Because I don't know I don't know

I just I was quite don't know I just I was quite shocked by it I was like it's like selling sweets to children but also but now they smoke a battery instead of just chewing the sweet

it's just not great now in fairness I would say that if a dip dab flavour vape come out that's the only thing that maybe get me back on the vapes

yeah you should stop you should stop I agree with you I was getting headaches headaches and everything and I'm like I'm just not it looks stupid as well.

It does look stupid. It's not cool. Only when the French do it weirdly, then it still does look cool. I don't know. They're very, they're good at drinking as well. So they'll just have like

a couple of glasses of wine during the day. You'll never see a French person like absolutely deranged. Like they drink like a sensible person. They seem quite good at portion control, the French.

Yeah, yeah. Parisians in particular. Even when it comes to food. They're just quite contained, quite restrained. Like a bite of a croissant and then a little puff of a fag and they're going back

to their little office to write for the day. And a quick espresso, yeah. Anyway, so that's my news. Obviously sounds very much like a Monday when I'm bringing all this to the table, but like I gave up vaping two days ago Anyway, so that's my news. Obviously, it sounds very much like a Monday when I'm bringing all this to the table,

but I gave up vaping two days ago now, so I'm grand. Are you doing yoga? What else have you decided to do? What else? I'm going to train loads. I'm going on my holidays, so I've got a great day of packing ahead of me today,

and I'm going to just chill. You should train. You've a couple of pounds to lose. Me and Jo were saying that, actually. What's she going to do about that beach body that she doesn't have? More time.

I hope you've got a good Miu Miu for that holiday, but you wouldn't be exposing yourself in that shape. A Miu Miu. A Miu Miu. Miu Miu is the brand. A Miu Miu. A Miu Miu. that holiday vow wouldn't be exposing yourself in that shape a moo moo a moo moo

Mew Mew is the brand a Mew Mew a Mew Mew have you noticed my voice over the last three weeks while I've been vaping do you not think

I have a different voice yeah it's kind of croaky but then it's morning time so maybe it's just the morning it's 10 it's 20 past 10's just the morning. It's 10, it's 20 past 10, that's not morning for me anymore.

Well, luckily, you haven't been doing it that long, so you probably won't find it that difficult. It's not like you've been smoking 20 years, do you know what I mean? I know, but still you're addicted to it. It takes three days for the nicotine to leave your system, so that's when I know that I won't be addicted. I've been googling all this vape stuff.

I think you sent me an article as well can we talk about the article that you posted yesterday oh you're one Liz Jones from the Daily Mail and her husband or her ex-husband

oh my god it was like so Liz Jones she writes for the Daily Mail and I'm sure she writes for other people too but she did a piece on

I think it was based on she she got her inspiration from, and just like that, where Carrie meets up with Aidan. And she, Liz Jones decided to kind of carry out this little investigation. Could you meet up with an ex and could it be a kind of polite exchange and a fun trip down memory lane? So she contacted a couple of her exes and, and she had one husband, I think. And some of them were just like, no, you're grand. Not, not for me. And her ex-husband said, yeah, okay, I'll do it. And well, well, well, so they met up, did a photo shoot and then they kind of interviewed, then they went and had a drink together and they kind of did it like a very casual interview of sorts.

Well, they did the photo shoot. They did the photo shoot and they had wine in front of them for the photo shoot. And Liz said that he drank his wine and then took her wine and poured it into his glass and drank it. So from the get go, I thought he was quite nasty.

Oh, she's not nasty at all. There's nothing. This isn't up for debate. Desperate. He was so ignorant and rude and obnoxious. She's not nasty at all. There's nothing. This isn't up for debate. Desperate. He was so ignorant and rude and obnoxious that I was genuinely Googling it to see, was it real?

I was like, is this a stunt? How could he humiliate himself like that though? I don't think he thinks he's humiliating himself. His hatred for her seems to run so deep that he decided oh I'll do this and I'll make I think he thought

in his own mind shower her but ultimately obviously just made a show of himself. The way he even spoke and then he wrote a piece in reply

to hers. The way he he said the F word 29 times in 30 minutes she said and he also he also cheated on her so like she was just like saying something he was just i mean let me just try and find some of the stuff that he was saying to her i was mortified at being photographed with her what the whole world knowing i had married her he's just just like, the few climaxes,

listen to this, the few climaxes I achieved with her, I had to labor grievously for. I shut while imagining her younger friends or more so often someone I was cheating with. Like he is honestly, I just thought he was so cruel to her and made her feel like such shit.

Now I will say, that that apparently because i posted it that a couple of women got back to me saying that they wrote they that they neither of them have been very kind about each other because they're about writers yeah so i i don't think it came from nowhere like i think he feel like she had written something at previously saying that he she'd never given him an orgasm sorry he'd never given her an orgasm and then that was his response to that so I think they have been kind of slinging mud for a bit but I mean they're slinging a bit of mud and then there's what he did I just think that like to have that level of toxicity towards somebody like so long after he's literally like

his last comment was now leave me alone forever like no one made you meet up with her how could you if I hated somebody that much I'm not going to meet up with them to just be horrible to them because I just don't see the point of it she says I realize I've changed I'm no longer needy smoothing his path in a desperate game of curling I'm never going to win and so I say I've changed I'm no longer needy smoothing his path in a desperate game of curling I'm never going to win and so I say I have a theory the reason you've changed is because life didn't work out the way you wanted to and you regret what you lost here's response not for a fucking second I'm glad to be rid of you your theory's horseshit he leaves without offering to pay the bill it's it's absolutely bananas yeah listen to this what

he said when Liz wrote she had stolen my sperm from a used condom in an attempt to get pregnant okay that's a bit strange in itself it could have only been yeah you see I'm just saying there might there might be the two of them in it slightly but he is it could only listen it could only have been one that fell from my pocket after an encounter elsewhere it's like dude I thought the biggest tell was when he he went out so he wrote a reply then oh god it was just so awful and you know how he spoke about the way he described Sarah Jessica Parker that's when I was like this lad's a I mean he's no he's no oil painting himself don't I don't I hate when people like as a way to, like, put someone down, to slag someone's looks,

it's just... It's, like, so pathetic. I know. Go for the jugular. Get their personality or something. But if you're... If you're going to easily go for, like, their looks, it's just...

It doesn't even count. I love the way you're, like... It's so pathetic slagging their looks. They're, like, he's now oil painting himself. Yeah. I'm sorry. I have to, he's now oil painting himself. Yeah. I'm sorry, I have to stick up for Jessica

Parker. Sarah. He's like, he describes Carrie with a face like one of those knobbly root vegetables that makes the news for resembling human sexual anatomy and an intellect Wayne Rooney would look down on. Carrie did the utmost possible with what nature cursed her

with. Spending a dragon's hoard in her pursuit of love fooling the likes of Liz into thinking the same might work for them. You just don't speak about people like that in the public domain unless you're spiralling. Well he's not married. He's never been with anyone since and you

can kind of understand why. That must have given her such pleasure when he wrote that to be like, oh, now everyone's going to see that you're a dick. He did an interview then on Lorraine, but it was Christine Lambert was covering for Lorraine. And I tried to watch it, but it was so awkward.

I was like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not putting myself through this. I'm just going to keep eating. Was Lorraine, was Christine. The one break I tried to take from eating and I was like,

no, I'm just going to get back to eating. It's back to the eating phase. I actually, I still feel a little bit unwell today I'll tell you why sorry back to the back to the hangover of doom from yesterday uh so I went to Soho House Festival have you seen that wouldn't last a second in Ireland not a single second they give free booze to everybody for the whole day free food but like amazing food there must be like 20 different trucks that have food and you just go you just take everything you want and obviously I wouldn't stop taking the palomas I don't even drink tequila I don't like grapefruit juice but for some reason when they mix together they're delicious and that's why I'm hungover interesting paloma I'm not I'm hungover. Interesting. Paloma.

I'm not familiar. It's like tequila with grapefruit juice. It is absolutely delicious. But you know if you drink too much juice? Not the tequila. It wasn't the tequila. Indeed. It wasn't the tequila.

It was the juice. It was the juice that you were puking up the next day. I understand. I didn't actually get sick. This is like when I decided I was allergic to pineapple because I'd eaten 17 easter eggs at the end of the day when I was a child and then I had one chunk of pineapple and then got sick everywhere and I was like

oh god it was an allergy to pineapples and I truly believed that for a very long time because I am that deluded tell us about the festival the festival I have to say they absolutely nailed it but I just don't know how they get away with it I guess it's because think like, think about it. Imagine having something like that in Ireland.

Like, it would just be absolutely bonkers. But is it just for Soho House members? No, I think that, like, Soho House members are allowed to buy their friends tickets. But you can only buy four tickets each or something like that. They're 275 quid. And when I say free food, I'm not just talking burgers and shit like that, even though all I ate was a pizza.

They had lobster. They had scallops. I'm so annoyed at myself that I didn't have them because I was on the Palomas at that stage. And you know, when you've had a few drinks, you're like, you just want to have more drinks. There were fairground rides. I went on the chair swings.

Who in their right mind wants to eat a scallop at a festival? I would, if you saw the scallops and lobsters. This is very high end. It's very high end.

Yeah. And so then, This sounds like Taste of Dublin or one of those, it sounds like one of those food festivals. It kind of was.

So we're going to, Jo, you can come next year as well. I'll get us all tickets because I just feel like that we could have a pod day out and go to that festival because it is honestly, and when I say I'll get us all tickets,

I'm obviously going to wait to see what brand invites me and then I'll get asked then for tickets for you guys. Jo, you would get, Jo and me, well actually I am a member of Soho House. I can get, Jo, are you?

No. Are you a member, Jo? Are you joking? We'll you a member, Gem? Are you joking? We'll get you in, Joe. By the way, I'm going to be in Montreal doing the Just for Laughs Festival on July 28th. What day is that, Joe?

That is Friday. Fab! The Just for Laughs festival in Montreal on Friday the 28th of July if anyone's going to be in Montreal the tickets are at joannmcnally.com

do you know who was playing? no the Sugar Babes yeah Sugar Babes before they went on, Amber was like, let's get a picture,

let's get a picture. I was like, Amber, I'm not going up and asking for a picture. Absolutely no way. Stood there for their whole concert,

screaming along, dancing away, straight backstage to get pictures with the girls. Of course. Because they were, they were like,

we kind of grew up with them. Do you want to say it was hit after hit after hit. I couldn't, I was like, I'm going to go to the toilet when they play a crap song. Do you want to say it was hit after hit after hit? I was like, I'm going to go to the toilet when they play a crap song. Couldn't go to the toilet.

No crap songs. They were brilliant. They still are. I'm telling you, they were absolutely like so good. I'm obsessed with them now. Remember the never ending line up chant? Like they were, it was, it was kind of funny. I think I was in the Sugar Babes at one stage. think at one stage it was me Ryan and Stacey Solomon we were

like just doing the rounds of the festivals as the sugar babes so they played one of their songs and it reminded me I actually have to find what the song was because um it's what remember I told you I was always trying to get into a girl band. That was a song I used to sing all the time to try and get in. Baby, I'm too lost in you. Was it? Yeah, that's a real... I think it was in Love Actually.

No, it was Overload. Overload was a song. I'm on overload. That's what I used to sing at little auditions thinking I was going to get in a girl band. How many auditions did you do? Like quite a few. I told you I was doing street dance,

tap and funk. Did you get, how far did you get? Was there like, was there any? Yeah. One time I got to nine o'clock at night and we'd been there all day.

Yeah, I know. Do you know what? I reckon it wasn't even my singing or my dancing. I think I was just too big. I swear to God, they don't want people that are too tall in like bands or anything like that. What?

Oh yeah, because they, I guess because bands are notoriously tiny and then your outfits would cost too much. My outfits would be really expensive. They're like too much spangle. We can't afford to build seven foot of spangle for this monster at the this monster where would they put me though i wouldn't even be able to be at the end they'd have to have me a couple rows back

like in school yeah for groaning in the background for perspective yeah they're like put her down the back so she looks the same size and they'd give me all obviously the deep voice roles or they're like we've dug a hole in the stage folks so you're just gonna stand down in the hole so Cheryl looks normal sized I would have loved to have been in their band now to be fair

they were cool the thing is Sugar Babes were kind of cool I think they it felt like they were at war with Girls Aloud that they were

Sugar Babes were kind of the cool ones Sugar Babes were the cool ones the girls allowed were like the more girly ones yeah but you know what else i was looking at this weekend and i couldn't go because i was doing all those other things we should go to wimbledon next year yeah i always think i love wimbledon the last time i went now I will tell you, so you get all pims because you're at Wimbledon, but like you have to go and sit down.

You can't just get up and down. You have to wait between like sets and stuff like that. And like, so you'll drink one pims and you feel a tiny bit drunk and by the time you're laid back out again, you're already hung over. So that is a problem.

So funny. Yeah, I just feel with Wimbledon, there's too much for me queuing and shit. Like, there's too much, for me, queuing and shit. Like, there's just a lot of queuing. It just feels like it's just, it's Q-Bildon. Does that make sense? It feels very, it's very English, isn't it?

It's very English. Very, very. I'll put you in a dress. Let's dress, let's put you on in a long white dress. I do find tennis gear quite cool and sexy. Like I love all that Lacoste shit. Yeah,

I love a bit of Lacoste. I'd go to Wimbledon if I could go on your coattails and be like choppered in and into the main court and just like drop fed strawberries by your man.

What's his name? Djokovic. Exactly. Djokovic. Andre Agassi's more your vibe, I reckon. I wouldn't do the, I don't think I could do the kind of normal Wimbledon day.

I just don't care about tennis enough. And I just know, people are queuing for fucking hours to get into those central courts. Well, do you know what? I feel that I've spoken enough about my love of Dilutey, Robinson's. They always have a tent at Wimbledon.

So Robinson's should invite us next year at Wimbledon so Robinsons should invite us next year to Wimbledon or Evian Joanne's drinking loads of water today invite us I'm flushing myself out

Evian I'm flushing myself out pull my ear I'm just going to wet myself every time someone pulls my ear I just piss myself the only time I've gone to those sporting events

I have dry ludi right now actually Invite us I've gone to those sporting events I went to one sporting event Before with my boyfriend at the time And he said it was one of the most embarrassing moments of his life I was We'd had a couple of drinks

Obviously because it's sports And I spent the whole time Looking for my phone, which I thought I'd lost. So taking everything in and out of my handbag 90 times. And then I left and went looking for chips. And he's like, I didn't see you again for the rest of the day. I was just going around looking for chips. What was the sporting game? GAA, G-A-A.

GAA. Joanne, that would be the last thing I'd imagine seeing you at. You don't understand that. I don't know. GAA is like football that you can hold with your hands. Yeah. So you can kick the ball and you can hold it. It's kind of like a mix between rugby and football, I suppose.

They have. I mean. English teams play. They have English. It's mostly Irish in England, but like the UK do have Gaa teams. It is incredible to watch. Bit of news from me. Okay.

I got stabbed this week in Dublin. Oh God. Yeah, I got stabbed. Jo, I got stabbed. Sounds like a big headline. Twice in the chest, once in the pelvic area, twice in the feet. Acupuncture, Jo, it was acupuncture. I'm really interested to hear about this i went to get some chinese medicine off a white australian man in town

remember i was saying that i was all i was trying to like kind of heal my insides rather than focusing on the morpheus do you know what i mean that i was that i was that i was gonna start he i'd promised myself once the tour dialed down that I was that I was that I was going to start I promised myself once the tour dialed down that I was going to start the healing and anyway so I went in

what part of the healing was Friday then I earned that because I'm healing during the week and then I'm and then I'm unravelling at the weekend

it's called life fair fair enough fair enough okay I just wanted to know I wanted to know what part of the healing process that was I did every time I took a drink I stuck a pin in

me okay as punishment look at it I look like a little voodoo doll running around town I can be quite cynical about stuff I don't really believe in anything however I am giving this a go because I'm you know I just feel why not try something new and so he put all these pins in me and what was it I didn't realize it's actually kind of sore so I just I feel like I'd have to feel something or else I'm not really I yeah I know what you're saying you're like why am I we're so used to kind of doing something where we sweat or feel pain. But you saw Jennifer Aniston is after lunch and some new exercise thing. And she's saying that she's ruined her body from doing all this cardio. So then he put the two needles in my chest area, just above my breasts. And I was like, ow, ow, ow. I said, they're really sore. And he's like, yeah, that's interesting. That's your gut. Oh. Yeah. So he's like, yeah, that's interesting. That's your gut. Oh. Yeah. So Joe's shaking his head.

Well, you're flinging down those wet sandwiches the whole time. What do you think your stomach is going to feel like? Your stomach is obviously pissed off at you. Yeah. So he was like, there's some gut issues there. And the gut is where it all starts. All this chronic illness, chronic fatigue. And he was like, I realized there's nothing

really wrong with me. Really? I just feel I need a kind of a, you know, I need to flow. This is it. I want my insides to flow more. I feel my insides

are kind of stagnant and stuck and I need to flow more. So anyway, I'm going to give it another crack. You have to do three a week for three weeks and then I'm going to see how the flow is.

And there wasn't a bit of incense in the office, which I thought was very strange. Reassuring. I just think I think I think I'll let you try that first

but I agree I think that we both need a little zhuzh. Little zhuzh. This is such a Monday morning chat. Little zhuzh. Little zhuzh. Yeah.

We all need a little zhuzh. I've had a big weekend. I'm joining a cult because I just need to feel safe. I'm giving everything up. Anyway, I thought, you know, I was like, this whole journey,

I was like, maybe I'll just get a juicer and then it's escalated to acupuncture. But people swear by it. Basically, it pokes holes in your body and then it kind of

causes a little bit of damage there with the holes and then your body kind of, all your insides whiz towards where the pin is and fix whatever's there. So that's why it's really good

for like kind of dry shoulder needling and all that jazz. Anyway, look, I'll keep you in the loop. Oh, I've heard people doing stuff like that. But I'm very much at the wax on, wax off stage in my life. So get ready. I'm going back to basics.

I'm getting my outside exterior. I'm going to work on that this week, my exterior. I'm cutting all work on that this week my exterior I'm cutting all my hair off again because I want to look like Joanne I really don't think you do have you like we won't be

using any videos in this podcast Do you have an ice roller? Yeah why should I use that? Yes now you don't get the same bloating that I get

again this is like really, absolutely incredible. You did this morning, because obviously big weekend and the head was quite puffed. They just, I wish, I only discovered ice ratters this year.

I wish I'd been given one at birth. Like I wish I'd been given one as a christening present and I'd used it my whole life. It just gives you your jawline back in the morning when you've been it's kind of like a quick fix the wine juice yeah but it's really

and it's really cooling Jo you should get an ice router every morning every Monday morning ice roll that's my tip okay you could maybe just not drink all weekend but if that

if that isn't an option ice roll on a Monday it's like you're just rolling the jelly babies out of your face. I found it very soothing. I saw a girl and she had a bowl of water and she put ice in the bowl of water and kept dunking her face in. And I thought that's actually a very good idea. Yeah, it's like Zumba for the insides.

Zumba for the insides. Joanne and I were discussing books yesterday. And I always think people are looking for a good book recommendation and I told Joanne I was back on the Colleen Hoover because sometimes when I give up books Colleen Hoover is kind of what gets me back into it because it's like she's your gateway book she's your gateway book back into books yeah gateway back to books because I want to bring Annie Mack's book on holidays with me and Joanne said that that was amazing and you just finished finally finished Tony

Fat Tony's book. DJ Fat Tony's book. Well I'll tell you this much. If I thought I'd a heavy weekend. Fuck me. you read Fat Tony's book and you're like I'm actually I'm grass. Like I am fine. It's brilliant. I loved it. I couldn't put it down to the point where I went

for breakfast to Alan I just sat there reading the book and he was just staring at me I was like I you have nothing of interest to say to me you can't tell me anything more interesting than what fat Tony's telling me right now I'll talk to you in an hour I loved it loved it loved it loved it and it's very sad in places but it's also very inspiring to use that term and brutally honest it's fair but it's very inspiring like I saw him he was at Soho's festival on um on Sunday or on Saturday and then I saw him somewhere else and then he was on another place and then he was in Ibiza on Sunday which made me feel and I just was like he doesn't drink at all anymore and he just got to achieve so much more than I did and now I'm lying here like a fucking sick potato just stuck in bed so that's actually what I was I was looking at his stories

and I was like look at he didn't drink so that's why I was like I'm actually not going to drink for three months not because of Spencer because of him it feels like from what I can tell that people who do give up alcohol I I I've yet to hear anyone say that they regret it. No, I know. Here's the thing. Many actually just heard me bitching about him there.

Everyone says... I was stood in the room. You were just openly bitching about me on this enormous... I didn't say anything. I was just saying... I said I was a huge fan and you were hung like a horse.

Like I always say. Yeah, I inspire you to be better, I think is what you meant to say. Yeah, he inspires. Inspires people to be better people. What a what you meant to say. Yeah, he inspires us. He inspires us to be better people. What a wanker. Will you fucking get him out of that room? Oh my God.

Why is he standing there just watching us the whole time? It's weird. He's over in the corner just wanking. Oh Jesus. Of course he bloody is. You can hear it. Just a rustle yeah He's warning us

Like we're children He's giving out to me About the sound of my voice Happy Monday to you too You jerk Well just for context Obviously it's Monday In our world

But when this airs It will be Friday And the mood will be Friday. And the mood will be totally different. Friday. The general consensus seems to be the people who give it up, they kind of look at people like the people who drink, like people like us sitting in pubs,

they kind of think we're a bit tragic. Do you know what I mean? They're like, oh yeah. I think it takes a lot of you know what I mean they're like oh yeah I think it takes a lot of like strong will to be able to like like Fat Tony for instance to be able to just give up completely he for in his own words said he actually if I'm paraphrasing now but he was he was like I was so done with them now his was his his issue was drugs and alcohol but he didn't realize he had an issue with alcohol until he gave up drugs and then realized oh hold on yeah I can't stop drinking either okay okay fair enough fair enough but he was like I was so

done like he'd really hit rock bottom that there was just no going back it was if you go back you'll die that was ultimately what it was so yeah funnily enough, in the book, he doesn't really go into that much detail about finding it difficult to give up drugs. He went into rehab and he found it difficult to be in rehab because obviously you can't do anything or go anywhere. And he did say that he tried to kick off every Friday

so they'd kick him out so he could go clubbing. But yeah, I think for him it was just a need to like you just yeah yeah but I'm sure you did find it difficult but I feel like now that I've I've said it that I have to do it for three months but for me I just I just don't want it like I'm I'm really tired because I work a lot and then like I spend all my time with the kids I just want to feel like normal all the time oh vote for the good news yeah go on I finally made the metro UK which was a real goal of mine I know yeah thousands of people which I'd say possibly. It's a real career high for me, because, you know, as an ex-publicist,

I love a good bit of PR. Oh. And I was thrilled, and people were like, oh, my God, do you mind you're in the Metro? Do you want to hear the headline? Yeah. This comedian once used a nappy instead of a tampon and has never looked back.

Joanne McNally is a bit of a er nappy fan the 40 year old Irish comic once used a nappy instead of a tampon yep you heard that right

once that's not true it's hardly surprising that the nappy designed to catch baby excrement gave Joanne some pretty

it does not say that. Does it say that? Oh yeah. Gave Joanne some pretty solid protection against period leaks. However, what is surprising is that Joanne claims

there's no going back now. She's branded herself a nappy convert. No, no. She's once even shuffled around Newcastle with a nappy convert. No, no. She's once even shuffled around Newcastle with the nappy on, contemplating whether to just pee in it rather than find a toilet. And then a screen grab of me laughing, and it's the most unflattering photo you've ever seen.

I'm assuming that X who doesn't like me leaked the story himself. This feels like revenge to be honest. And they've used some of the worst photos. I was surprised you wanted to keep that part in the podcast myself. But she is, she is

Pampers UK in Ireland. She is looking for a deal. Aldi do a great nappy too. You could go with Aldi if you wanted. I was just absolutely thrilled to know that that was my break

into the Metro UK. Does anybody have, if anyone has a copy of that paper, I would really appreciate it because I want to get that framed for Joanne. That's a big,

that's a big career moment. It's a big break for me. I've always, I've always been a firm believer in all pure is good pure and I really had to I really had to

hold hard onto that philosophy when I read that I was like no Joanne it's not it's not that bad it's not bad

it's all press is good press all press is good press Joanne don't worry Netflix are going to be knocking on your door any minute now I'm telling you now I'm telling you now

do you ever see that that I was I was reading it at Daily Mail obviously uh and they had this headline about Jack Grealish it was like

Jack Grealish builds a healthy juice bar after a 24 hour bender we feel that that's the shit that we would do if I had the money that's what I'd be doing

I'd be building a yoga centre at the end of my road I'd be building I'd get I'd be buying a platter but obviously it was so cheap But that's not why he built the juice bar

Because he had one And in fairness I probably would consider building one myself today Well I saw what he was doing It was pretty heavy going It did feel like it was going to end in opening a juice bar Maybe I'll go I'm going to go buy a sauna right now I'm going to fix myself

A sauna? Yeah supposedly they're great Half the risk of heart attack But if you're dehydrated Sometimes if they're great. They're like half the risk of heart attack. But if you're dehydrated, because in other ways, sometimes if you're hungover, you're like, oh, go get a sauna. But they're the worst things to do

because you're already dehydrated and then a sauna strips you of any remaining liquids in you. It's just getting the dirt out here. I want to read one more headline that I saw yesterday because obviously Kevin Costner is going through a divorce.

So this was about his... Kevin Costner's first wife, Cindy Silva, shops for groceries 30 years after their marriage ended. That was it. That was the headline. I know.

I posted it. I posted it. Did you? Yeah, because I said, it's so funny. I said, why are they suggesting she hasn't left the house

since Kevin Costner broke up with her 30 years ago? Or maybe she broke up with him. Why are they suggesting that she's never done a food shop since their marriage with Kevin ended? It's so bizarre. I just, honestly,

they're one of my favorites seeing headlines like that. How brave of her. How brave. She was doing her big shop, Joanne. She was doing the big shop, not the little shop. 30 years later,

she's out of the house. She's healed herself. She puts on a herself she puts on a she puts on a shoppy display puts on a big shop display well done

we see you and she actually looks really happy in the photo did you notice she was smiling away she's happy out I get the feeling

she might be over him 30 years later I think she's moved on I think she's healed and with that we would like to wish you the happiest of Fridays coming from

a Monday that feels like it's now transformed into a Friday we'll have a totally we'll be in a totally different headspace by the time this comes out

we hope we haven't brought anyone down I'll be absolutely hammered yeah you'll have fallen off the wagon I'll be back vaping you won't even be able to see the wagon you'll have fallen off the wagon. I'll be back vaping.

You won't even be able to see the wagon. You'll have fallen so far off it. I'm glad you have so much faith in me. We will see you... Next Wednesday. Next Wednesday for the bonus.