My Therapist Ghosted Me - Back In The Basement, Borrowing Clothes & Burning Man

Episode Date: September 8, 2023

Joanne is back firmly where she belongs... In Vogue's basement of course! Find out why she wasn't invited to T's party and why Gigi continues to be iconic. Plus, Kanye in Venice, Burning Man & Vogue's gig at the NTA's. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/MTGM is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! For tickets, merch and more, visit mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally. McNally sorry I didn't realise we were live there I was trying to text Hadley to get my terminally ill hair done I don't think your hair looks bad

it's just it's been away for a couple of weeks in the sun and you know yourself and because I'm taking these hair growth supplements to fix my bald patch my hair is now growing

like my roots are coming out real quick yeah yeah yeah so it needs just needs a bit of love and how have you ended up with the hair I wanted where did that happen

well because I'll tell you what's happened I'm trying to morph into you so going a bit single white female you change one thing I change something but now I see that you're wearing my full outfit today

I think that we're morphing into each other well sorry the knickers are on my own but for now and obviously the bra's mine because I needed one that fits

but the excuse me excuse me I did go in I had a little read around so I'm back in I'm back in the basement my primary residence

yeah I tend to I fanny around in other residents but I always I always kind of come back to the basement like a homing pigeon. You love the basement

but you kind of like, I have a lot of privacy down there. It's a separate place. That's why I think people like, so just before you came in we had Alexander staying with us for a while

and then just before that we had Max staying with us for a while, Spenny's friend. So it's like, it's kind of like a stopping shop for people. It is.

But it's also, it's important to remember to move on. Now I'm not, I'm not, no. Because there's a level of for people. It is. But it's also, it's important to remember to move on. Now, I'm not, I'm not, no. Because there's a level of moving on. So Joanne sent to me last night

and it took me by surprise. She's already started looking for apartments, Jo. She's going to view apartments today. You're not moving out for at least a month. We said, yeah,

100%. Okay. Yeah. Well, why are you going to look at places now? Because I want you to move straight in. I just need to get the ball rolling. I'm not going back to the house today Jo

I've found somewhere I'm going into an Airbnb I would be absolutely raging that new dog Bertie Bertie

Bertie I get to hang out with it it's basically my ideal home minus if it didn't have Fogan the kids and Spencer but far from that it's lovely now

just last night me with the little doggy. Sorry, Winnie. Winnie goes off to the bedroom. He's allowed into my bedroom. Bertie just leaves presents everywhere so he's not allowed

into the bedroom yet. I was just floating around in your incredibly expensive Camino that I didn't realise. It's so... I was in... I went... I arrived...

Camono! Oh, sorry. Camino's the... Camino's the walk. Camino's the walk. She's going around in this. I saw her posting it. She's like, oh, I just found this yoke. And I'm like, that yoke.

I didn't say. 700 quid. She's lounging on the couch, just sweating all over this silk kimono. Eating Doritos. She's like, that's like a 700 pound silk dress and I was like oh my god what

she knew I didn't pay 700 pounds for that so she was like I don't give a shit so you didn't pay full whack for that I got on a resale site thank you

anyway it's so nice to be back I did have a little one of the main things about being in the basement is Vogue's dressing room is down there

I know and she can't see me going in or out so I have private access. I don't. Like this shirt, I'm sorry now, but like, come on.

You're not having it. I've worn it once. Actually, no. I haven't worn it at all. Amber wore it to a festival and that's it. Well, you can borrow it any time you like.

It is a good shirt. Do you know Amber? She sent me her picture. She went to Electric Picnic at the weekend. I'm sorry, but we're going to Electric Picnic next year.

I've never had worse FOMO in my life. Yeah, the picnic's a good one. She sent me a picture, right? And she's in my brand new runners that I've never worn. I was like,

are you wearing my new runners? I got them delivered to the house and she's like, well, I won't wear them. I'm like, you're going to a festival

in my new runners and I did that to her some of Amber's stuff is left over in the basement well of course I was reading through it today oh she's got great trainers

well I had a pair of the gold like her max on yeah only that it was too much with the shirt I went I won't but I was like

if Amber knew I was rocking around in her nightgown her max her head would pop off she's got silver ones. I had a pair of silver ones I don't know where they're gone. I'd just take Amber's if I was you. She hasn't got her stuff out so it's kind of mine now. Amber though she's a funny one I remember like we were coming home from the Maldives this is the kind of stuff she does because she's a bit of a bully

because she's my older sister so we're coming home from the Maldives. What? If you don't even go there. I thought you were the eldest oh yeah okay great thanks sorry I don't want this to crack through come on Amber loves that game

if we meet someone new she's like who do you think is older I'm like Amber you go around in tracksuits and a hoodie that's why they think that you're the younger one

get a grip yeah it's like you're wearing dungarees Amber and you're two years older than me like there's not enough of a difference to be thinking

who's older no neither of us look like haggard old witches yet no but she will mark my words I don't know

she seems to be getting away with murder she gets away with murder her skin like she'd be like me she likes a drink and she likes a little puff puff

and a little a puff puff in what way a cigarette yeah sorry I wasn't alluding to her sexuality is that what you meant yeah I meant

a cigarette she's fond of a maybe a like a little yeah so I'm a little we're calling it a fag now okay yeah she likes a fag we're calling it a fag now okay yeah

she likes a fag and a drink Jesus fuck homophobic fucking hell and you with the paralyzed young sister I'm kind of waiting though I'm waiting for Amber

because she's always she's done it for years where she's like oh everything's everything's I'm the youngest sister and I'm like okay but you're honestly dressed

like a 16 year old yeah so I'm waiting for her face to fall off because it has to happen well I don't like the amount of work

that we do excuse me excuse me sorry I met me in show yeah exactly don't drag me down there okay

someone mailed me the other day they're like where did you get your Botox and I was like excuse me that's not a topic we discuss I don't know who this message

was meant for but it certainly clearly wasn't for me you've got the wrong person here I go into you I'll see you in court yeah I go into you for a little facial

that's all this is libel this is Wagga the Christie shit I'm glad people respect that they respect the law I haven't lied I haven't lied I just haven't said anything

yeah you just yeah that's you've evaded You've evaded. And you've evaded the truth. I mean, it's very clear. If your face doesn't move, there's a reason for that. No one needs to point it out.

It's just genetics for me, really. It is. Honestly, I look happy now. It's just the genetics stopping it. That's why we use emojis on our messages. There's no need to have an emotion anymore. Don't need it. Don't want it.

Don't need it. I was want it. Don't need it. I was telling you a story about Amber. So anyway, we're in the Maldives. This has gone back a couple of years. And I went and opened my case

which was already really heavy and there's just two bottles, glass bottles of Sunkist, the drink. I mean, it's beyond delicious. I understand. She'd shoved two glass bottles

of Sunkist into my bag because she decided that if they broke her clothes would get wrecked so she put them in my bag because they would

stain all of my clothes she did it with runners as well she had two pairs of runners two different ones on her feet and she sent me a picture

she was like which ones I was like the green ones which were hers and she was like don't wreck them then and I was like

so what you want to wreck mine on the other foot she's very territorial of her stuff yeah and I was like so what you want to wreck mine on the other foot she's very territorial of her stuff yeah I wouldn't touch her stuff she comes back

and I get really frightened she's like who moved that and I'm like I know I did it and I'm like I don't know I'd be quite territorial

as well like just well sure your stuff is flung all over the place no not really my stuff not really clothes

I don't give a shit about that but like I have a box like a basket full of like face creams and Alan I'd find his little dirty hand in there

sometimes and it really annoys me it's all I'm very territorial over skin care cosmetics and skin care yeah

anything else I don't care but it really well men don't use it properly and they take too much and they don't know how good it is and they're not like they don't use it properly and they take too much and they don't know how good it is and they're not like they don't deserve it

yeah like that's an eye cream why are you using it on your chin yeah no it's too good for your chin it's for your fucking under eyes your under eyes I found when he came to

he was in Dubai with me and he had I opened his toiletry purse and he had an image under eye cream that they'd sent me

and I was like that's mine and he lied to my fucking face and stole your eye cream and he had an image under eye cream that they'd sent me and I was like that's mine and he lied to my fucking face and he's like it's not I bought that and I was like

how much was it where did you get it show me your receipt I don't believe it yeah you little lying bastard Benny's got loads and you should go

and look in his wardrobe he got sent loads of stuff from Beauty Pie steal it yeah it's just sitting there there's a couple of now you're not having it all because his wardrobe he got sent loads of stuff from Beauty Pie steal it I will it's just sitting there there's a couple of no you're not having it at all

because obviously I plan on stealing some of it the funniest he doesn't need it he wears it he does the blue Nivea like Joe does when Vogue's like

you can take some of those cosmetics and I was like oh thanks but I can't look while you're doing it because the second I see you have something I'll want it

and I was like that's exactly how I feel anyway it's the same it's the same as clothes though like Amber will walk out I was like, that's exactly how I feel. Anyway. It's the same as clothes, though. Like, Amber will walk out and something like, that's my jacket. And she's like, you gave this to me a year ago. And then I'm like, sure, Amber.

You're just going to start doing that with all my new stuff. Did I give you that shirt? How are you sweating? It's freezing in here. Joanne was over last night. Obviously. But I got home and I'm really scabby

when it comes to a bottle of vodka. So there might be like a dribble left. There's two bottles and they honestly had a little dribble left. Like you wouldn't even get, even if you mixed them, which I didn't do because I'm 40 now,

but even if you mixed the two of them, you wouldn't have gotten a full shot of vodka out and that's how little was it left in each bottle. I know. I thought it was a mistake. I wasn't finished. I know, I know, but I poured too bottle. I know. I thought it was a mistake. I wasn't finished. I know, I know. But I poured too much.

I remember why I did it the last time. But anyway, so Joanne had helped herself to basically what was one vodka out of the two bottles. But then like

had had half a bottle of wine as well. So the bottle of wine was It's okay, you can say it. I'd had the full bottle. I respect that. I appreciate that. Appreciate the protection.

She'd had the full bottle of wine. She was babysitting. What else was she going to do? She'd had the full bottle of wine. She was babysitting. What else was she going to do? She'd had the full bottle of wine and then she had the two bottles of vodka and she just put them all on top and I was like, Rush T,

who's our nanny, I was like, Rush is going to come in tomorrow and just see like two bottles of vodka and a bottle of wine and she's like, oh yeah. And she went to kind of take them in

and then she was like, actually I don't give a fuck. It's like, it was a real bin of a dip though. Like, do you know what I mean? Like just three, three bottles. I't need to sit in there for an hour I can't imagine she would think

that you drank two full bottles of vodka you never know live laugh love spread glitter I'm actually going to get that painted on your room downstairs if it was a neon flashing sign. On the ceiling.

That's what I'll get you for your house. I will get you for your new apartment. Only if you stay in my house for a month. I will get you a live, laugh, love neon sign. That'd be gas. That would actually be really funny, yeah. I would actually love that. Okay, that's what I'll get you.

It was Tea's party yesterday, as you know. Oh yeah, I wasn't invited. And as you know. Oh yeah. I wasn't invited and do you know what? No, no, no, that's fine. You were just home from okay, fine. I wasn't invited.

Would you have come? I wasn't, of course. To Purple Dragon, would you have come? I'd love to go to Purple Dragon. I'd love him. Is he a DJ performer? He did get a little DJ set

from his nanny. What? Yeah. Someone was giving me shit because I didn't wrap his presents. I just haven't gone down that road. My mom never wrapped my presents. No, it's a waste.

Ever. Never wrapped Christmas presents. It's a waste of paper. I'm just trying to be environmentally sound. And also, the kids just want to get... I nearly unboxed them for him because I know that he wants to get it out as quick as possible.

Yeah. The fun part is not unwrapping it. The fun part is playing with the gift. When I was arriving into... When I landed in London and I was going back to Vogue and I copped

that it was Theodore's fifth birthday so I was texting Vogue from Marks and Spencer's I was like what does he I'll have to get him something

what sandwich does he want what sandwich and crisp combo what meal deal does Theodore want for his birthday because this is the

only place I have access to she's like now it's grand I'll get us something on Amazon and I because this is the only place I have access to she's like now it's grand I'll get us something on Amazon and I was like alright grand so I'll have nothing to do with it you can give it to him I'll give it to him

and I'll transfer I might revolut you I don't know I'll see so anyway so I'm at home obviously and there's a party happening that I'm not invited to

party of dreams by the way do you know what I had to do for the party nothing it was the first time I'd had a party somewhere like and I had it in Purple Dragon he had eight of his pals there

they organised food they organised decorations they organised a cake I did nothing what happened to inviting the whole class is that gone now

okay so here's why I did this right and I'm not trying to be scabby but like some parents you just are naturally I'm naturally I'm naturally tight it's a talent

right for certain things I'm not trying it's really not me trying this is just who I am it's just who I am I love naturally tight. It's a talent. Right for certain things. I'm not trying. It's really not me trying. This is just who I am. It's just who I am. I love a bargain. I can't tell. But I also refuse to pay

more for a child's birthday than I'd ever even dream of paying for mine. So you can... The eight kids went free because it's part of the membership. So I got the eight kids free. I pride myself on my party bags.

I do. I gave the little crock because I don't want like everyone always gives these little toys like a little bubbles a little pack of sweets

a little something that you just they drive me mad having so much plastic crap so I literally just like I give a big present it's like you know

that crocodile game where you push their teeth down oh that's good yeah 10 on Amazon there's your party bag and you're not gonna have to go home

with loads of crap for your kid yeah that's good I just, tenner on Amazon. There's your party bag and you're not going to have to go home with loads of crap for your kid. Yeah, that's good. I just remember my mum and dad taking my party bag. Was that not kind of the culture? Yeah, I give it to the kids. I give them the present

because I want them to know that I have done that and that they'll like me then. Yeah, yeah, no, that's fair enough. Here's your gift. What are you going to buy? What will I buy Theodore for you? What's he into?

Dragons. Yeah, okay. He can have a dragon. He can have a dragon. Theodore nails people. He had Auntie Gina in a shop and she bought him a dinosaur and Ciarán did it for 80 euro.

He's two 80 euro dinosaurs from what's it called? Jurassic World. They are taking the piss. So I wasn't invited to the party. I was like, whatever. And so I... I didn't invited to the party I was like whatever and so I was like

I didn't even I didn't even I didn't even want to go anyway I know you didn't want to go I didn't really want to go and anyway Gigi arrives home

and she's on the she's on the ground trying to suffocate Bertie I don't know anyway they're kind of wrestling Bertie and I was like how was the party Gigi she's she's kind the ground trying to suffocate Bertie I don't know anyway they're kind of wrestling Bertie and I was like how was the party Gigi

she was kind of looked at me and was like Gigi how was the party and she goes not good and then she kind of threw her head down

like this and I was like fucking you I knew it was going to be shit now I will tell you one thing Gigi has some cheek

not good she did fuck all at that party we went in all the kids are running around playing I'm like Gigi has some cheek not good she did fuck all at that party right we went in all the kids are running around playing I'm like Gigi do you want to go and play

no she wanted to sit beside me ignore every parent that had come so they were like hi Gigi and she literally would just look at me and just like try

and turn her head as far away from them as possible and she just sat there drinking apple juice and water and would not go in and play with the kids

no matter what I did she was was like, no, no. So that's her own fault that she had a shit time. Yeah, she did it to herself, but she certainly didn't enjoy it. No, she didn't. It was a one-star review from Gigi. She didn't look like she had a good time at the party, to be fair. No. She didn't even laugh for hours.

She didn't even fake it at the party, which is classic Gigi. Yeah, she didn't care. It's just that, like, I'm now having to explain her to people. Like, at least... At least you know... What do you mean? At least you know she's an arsehole.

Yeah. But, like, when we were with the parents, they're all, like, trying to be nice. Gigi, when do you go back to school? And she's literally, like... Just drinking her apple. She's ignoring them. And I'm back to school and she's literally like just drinking her apple she's ignoring them and I'm like sorry

she's the COVID baby you know she just wasn't she wasn't around people so she wouldn't be the most like she's not mad for the chats she's a quiet girl she did the same to me

yesterday when I came into the house I was like hi Theodore he's like hello I said hey Gigi and she just looks at me and she goes and like

she's not actually crying she's just kind of going, eh. She's threatening me with a cry if I come any closer to her. Do you know what she's like? She's like a cat. That's what Gigi's like. Yeah, she has to go to you.

You can't go to her. We had to cut her nap time as well because she was napping still. She should have dropped the nap, but she was in such a foul mood when she woke up that I was like, I actually can't go through this every day when she's just such a witch.

Yeah. Do you want to see her walking in my heels? Look at her going up the steps. I didn't post this because I was scared people would say that I was being a bad parent because I let her walk up the stairs in heels. Oh my God.

Four inch heels going up the stairs. I can't even walk in heels that size. This is my favourite when she does her little turnaround look. The glamour. heels that size this is my favourite when she does her

little turnaround look the glamour she's like she's a little she's a little model she's a little winner did you see her tennis

sorry not to keep talking about Gigi but did you see her at tennis no I feel like I feel like you and Gigi are so similar

it's what I imagine you would do if I took you to a tennis lesson what did she do so T was getting involved Gigi was like I was like do you tennis lesson what does she do? so T was getting involved she was like I was like do you like tennis?

no no she's lying on the ground with a dress above her head just knickers out lying on the tennis court she won't go on her scooter she won't go on the bike

she just wants to sit in the back of the buggy be pushed around well she's only what age is she? she's three she needs to be on the scooter they want her to scoot to school yeah yeah yeah the scooter. They want her to scoot to school.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you try and get her to scoot to school. I don't know what, I don't know what, I think at three I was still sitting around eating cake. I don't think I was doing much now. T was flying along. T was on his bike flying along,

doing everything. We didn't do sports or anything when we were children. Not hockey or anything? Oh, yeah, but like, that's when we were like 14. Did you not have a roller skate gang? Everyone had

a blade gang. We were called the Sutton I can't remember the Sutton Flames or something. The Sutton Flames. We used to live

in Sutton yeah. Well my school was called because we were beside the sea versions on the rocks. Oh that's nice. Or whores on the shore

depending what girl they'd met which version of us they'd encountered I was at the NTAs last night which are the National Television Awards

I did not know that National Television Awards and I was hosting for Lorraine so I got to talk to all the slabs that's kind of like one of your big jobs now I love saying it it's great but I was hosting for Lorraine so I got to talk to all the slabs. That's kind of like one of your big jobs now.

I love saying it. It's great. But I was, yeah, I got to meet all the slabs. Is she sound? She is nice, I have to say. I don't have anything bad to say about her.

I've got good vibes from her. Yeah. But when I got home, when I got back to you, I realised I had so much shit in my teeth and no one had told me. So I was talking to everyone

with just a load of shit in my teeth the whole night what kind of shit? just like a cake it looked like to be honest it looked like

the chocolate cake and it was in like three lines of teeth and obviously because I'm like I've such a horsey mouth so when I smiled and when I'm talking

to anyone you can see all the shit in my teeth with the camera person? no one told me no one told you not a single person until I got home in the lift

and I met Kat Slater and I was like that meme is my favourite you know you're not a slag you're a fag you're a total slag

and she said it to me what yeah she said the line I just love that line so much she said it for you yeah no not on air obviously because it's talking about being a total slag no. She said it for you. Yeah. No, not on air, obviously,

because it's talking about being a total slag. No, but she said it. She did it for you. And they're not as good as she did in the show, obviously. You're not a slag. You're a total slag. You're a total slag. No, I didn't get a video. And her head's like kind of...

I was trying, yeah. I was trying not to be a fangirl. Hello. I was trying to be cool. But it's really bad because on the red carpet like so basically like I have a producer

and she tells me who to talk to and sometimes she's like oh we won't use that so don't talk to them but then I'm like they might have come up behind you

and you're like oh god pretending not to look so you don't so it's just like you don't have to say oh no we're not going to interview you

it's like would you just interview I'd interview I suppose you're stuck for time but like you're stuck for time but like you're stuck for time and because there's loads of people

come along the carpet that you might want to get like Ant and Dec and stuff like that oh my god Ant and Dec have so many fans it's wild well they're kind of

the biggest people in show business and they're really nice yeah I heard that and they're nice like off camera as well yeah so that's why they've obviously

they're talented as well but like being that sound that's why you're in TV for so long yeah soundness is also a skill yeah not everyone possesses it

not everyone possesses it and I would also say because I've been the victim of this of not soundness I've been I know I've never I'm sound

24 hours a day oh you're a sound 7 days a week even if it fucking kills me even if I actually want to glass everyone I'll be like of course

of course we can do that that's a bummer I'll do that for you easy no I've I've moments of very much unsoundness but I keep them to myself

I think you have to keep them to yourself you have to keep them to yourself when you're working and when you're meeting people out and about you're just

like I've had people be dicks to me when they were big or or like certainly

had more of a profile or was getting more work than I was yeah are you talking about me or no yeah look

you don't know who you're going to meet on the way down folks look here we are now equals didn't think that was going to happen did you babe

I want to know who you're talking about who are you talking about we'll beep it out oh yeah a gi bag gi gi

gi and they're just a gi they were very rude to me and very dismissive actually they weren't even dismissive

they were just really rude and quite mean people like that I just I had that with when I was like back in my modelling days

and like you'd be going to different places to model and some of the people that would work in those places were really just like rude I remember being in this

like tiny like this size room so like think of like your family bathroom upstairs like you've got a bath and a toilet and a sink and it's not that big it's like I don't know I just don't know distances no I don sink and it's not that big. It's like, I don't know.

I just don't know distances. No, I don't either. Two by two. Would this room be two by two? I don't know. Three by three? Yeah. Hurrah.

Hurrah. Two to three by three, whatever. So we're in a room like that. And this person, the animals went. I know. Obviously, I know everything about Joan of Arc. I forgot about that. Good callback

fuck me yeah on fire but no so I was in the room with this person and I was like oh morning

how are you completely ignored me looked at me and ignored me and then as soon as I started doing like a tiny bit well I couldn't

be nice between I just thought fuck you I know yeah it's always you don't know who you're gonna you have to be nice to everyone on the way up

because you're gonna bump you're gonna bump them all the way back down because everyone falls eventually everyone falls eventually bum them

bum them bum them bum them it's like it's like fucking doing it's doing a pant out that's everything I was like

that's what she said what you're mad you don't know who you're going to meet and that there's one in particular that I was like

you're going to this is I kind of even at the time I was like this isn't a what I don't think you should be doing this to me you shouldn't be doing it to anybody though

I don't understand it yeah I know I know but anyway so let's look at let's look at Joanne's week oh yeah I talk to myself

all the time now Alan Bra see you again in 10 oh yeah okay yeah Alan came and visited me in Dubai and em I don't know what

basically what happened was the lads are so full of shit yeah yeah fact they're so full of shit like even their sex like the way they present themselves

in the sack like he arrived over so obviously we had sacks because I hadn't seen him in a while. And then he rolled over and he goes, see you again in 10. And I was like, who the fuck are you kidding? 10 what?

10 days? 10 weeks? Here are you actually kidding? See you again in 10. See you again. And you won't look at me between now and then, is that it? You'll just nod off and then wake up again in ten weeks

and we'll ride again. Thank you. That's Fanny's line. That's Fanny's line if it all goes too quick. Don't worry, I'll get you again in like ten minutes.

I'll get you again. Oh, will you get me again in ten minutes? You're lying. No thanks. You won't. Like I can't be arsed now. You won't.

No. Unless you've got a splint with you or something. You're not going to see anyone in ten. You're going to go into the pool. Good luck to you, sir. See you again. town you're going to go I'm going to the pool good luck to you sir

see you again just muttering down the hotel room see you again in town screw you see you again in town yeah I'm like

oh my god you're so full of shit oh god I do love lads I do love I love lads Jo they're such good crack lads are good crack they're such good crack. Lads are good crack.

They're great crack. Did you see, like I wasn't sure whether I was going to go on this because I wanted to get all the facts. You know, I like to be super factual. Oh yes, 100%.

As we all do. What is the crack with Kanye West and his wife? Okay. Here's my tepid take on it. He just whole arse out on a gondola

did he have his whole arse out though because I did a real big zoom in and I didn't see much now I have to say I saw his whole hoop was out on a gondola

his pants were down oh she was obviously giving him a blowjob was she well that's what's being said that she was giving him a blowjob but like why would

you bother doing that when you know there's paps everywhere and like because he doesn't give a shit I'd say he's fucking thrilled

like Kanye I can't imagine Kanye's like because he doesn't give a shit I'd say he's fucking thrilled like Kanye I can't imagine Kanye's like oh my god I'm mortified I know but you know he's got his fucking arse hanging out

do you know what the thing about him is like he's got kids at home and he's sitting on a gondola like just get a blowy in the hotel room or something it's also Kanye

it's also Kanye West he's not exactly a man of discretion no I know and I think he's like there's something there's something there's something not going right there

also all that the gondola company in there were like he'll never get sucked off in this town again no it's

I know but it's not even I was looking at that and I was like oh my god Italy have banned him and then it turns out the gondola company have banned him

like come on I mean not what gondola like as if anyone knows one gondola company from another like as in also I'd be like which is the gondola that Kanye got sucked off in becauseola can't be from another like as in also I'd be like

which is the gondola that Kanye got sucked off in because that's the one I want to smell the afternoon in you know what I mean I'd have a little blue light to test for semen and then I'd have my photo

taken with it I just you know I have a real thing men's arses I don't know what it is they're gross yeah

like you know when you see somebody cycling on their whole arse I'm like oh I'm so repulsed do you know what it is it's not that when the whole arse is out that can be a I'm so repulsed do you know what it is it's not that when the whole arse is out

that can be a thing of beauty it's a bit of the arse it's the top it's like come on all or nothing here lads go hard or go home I want to see it all I want to see the full crack

down to the ankle or I want to see nothing do you know what I mean it's the tiny bit that's just popping out and then there's like a bit of skin kind of sitting on

the top of the jean yeah oh no also Jo when I'm asking you this directly like if my tiny bit just popping out and then there's like a bit of skin kind of sitting on the top of the jean also Jo when I'm asking you this directly like if my if my ass crack is exposed

I can feel that's something like I can feel a bit of wind if it's if it's breathing past like there's my

I feel exposed how do lads not feel I think he could feel it well I suppose he could he was feeling something else

no Kanye could feel it I mean do you know when you'll see, he was feeling something else. No, Kanye could feel it. I mean, do you know when you'll see a lad sitting on a train, half his cracks hanging out? You're like, at what stage in life do you lose feeling in the top half of your ass crack? I try to keep on top of it. Yeah, you've got to keep the R's in. I've never seen yours.

Fair play. Let's keep it. Let's keep it that way. Well, well, well, well. It really is. I don't know what it is, but Kanye West going around like he's got no shoes on

they're just walking around everywhere on their feet and stuff like what's going on is this the new fashion choice and she's wearing all these mad clothes it's the level of

richness and success that no rules apply to you shoes no I'll just get sucked off on a gondola

in broad daylight you don't have to you don't I'll just get sucked off on a gondola in broad daylight you don't have to you don't have to abide by the rules anymore do you remember Katie Hopkins was

photographed in a field yeah she was doing something in the field getting the ride in the field yeah

I mean I can't say I don't think we can judge Shirley can we no we definitely can't judge I'm just trying to think have I ever done anything like that I don't think we can judge, Shirley, can we? No, we definitely can't judge. I'm just trying to think, have I ever done anything like that? I don't think so. Oh, actually, yeah.

Ah, yeah. I think I have in the sea. But I don't think I ever did anything, actually, no, I do. I was going to say in daylight, but like I did at festivals and all, do you know what I mean? What do you mean at festivals?

In a tent, though. No, you'd be around. I don't know what, I don't know. Like I've definitely been inebriated as a young person in a field at some sort of

musical event yeah doing things that you shouldn't be doing yeah oh god you know bit of humping

did you see as well sorry speaking of PDAs I just want to tell you because I love the Kardashians and any chance I can get to put them in I will okay Kylie Jenner

scoring the face off Timothée I know why do I fancy him he's like he wouldn't be for me now I don't know why I have a real thing for him

yeah now you're not alone women do like him there's something he just doesn't give a shit I think he's a bit too clean cut for me oh I don't think

he's too clean cut yeah I think he's a bit too like like petite I would say yeah I would like a bulkier yeah I'd like a bulkier yeah I think he's a bit too like like petite I would say yeah I would like a bulkier

yeah I'd like yeah I'd have him on the way I have to say how much protein have you had today Tim McKay Tim away

Tim away he'd have to be we'd have to be getting him we'd be like feeding him boiled eggs and chicken breasts he only can have raw eggs it has to be getting him that we'd be like feeding him boiled eggs and chicken breasts he only can have raw eggs

it has to be six raw eggs and a little thing every day poached chicken breasts some guys just can't put on weight like that I know yeah

I know somebody as well another one of my favourite topics somebody was telling me that they were at a party that Leonardo DiCaprio was at and supposedly he is really nice and such a right

in real life so I just want to put that out there yeah he's and such a right in real life. So I just want to put that out there. Yeah, he's meant to be really nice in real life. I've never been disappointed to hear somebody's sound. I don't know why I'm disappointed at that. He's meant to be really kind. And he asked him for a lighter and he was like, oh, yeah, buddy. How are you, buddy?

What are you doing here? And was actually interested in him. So now do you want to get on the boat now? Do you know what it's so funny? Are you getting on the boat with want to get on the boat now? Do you know what it's like? Are you getting on the boat with me? I'll go yachting. Do you know what's so funny? It's always the way,

like if someone, you can have an opinion on someone from a distance and it's usually the wrong opinion because once you get to know someone, everyone is usually pretty sound unless they're, you know. Complete ourselves, yeah.

So if you, I had a situation with someone recently where they, tell us about unsound people. I want to hear about the non-sounders. I just had this idea in my head about this person

and I don't know why I got it in my head that they didn't particularly like me. I can see that. So then of course, everything went down so far. Yeah, they don't.

You're not being paranoid, man. I know you're talking about that's the real thing again is it me and I was like anyway then I met them

at a thing and they were really nice to me and they were like just really sound and very complimentary and all the stuff

and now I'm like oh my god I'm obsessed with them now it's like it's like in school it's like when the older kid in school who is it

who is it gives you a bit of time and it's saying to you you're like do you know what I mean it's pathetic like I'm so easily worn over

but also you can get it wrong about people so often so often and sometimes people are a bit more shy like I was shy like i was even like i was in hadley's the other day and someone was there and i just didn't say i kind

of like i kind of was like just like a little high not like a proper high because i just thought that they didn't want to say hi to me but then i was like now they probably think i'm a rude bitch but i was just a bit like shy to be like getting in their space but like yeah i think sometimes we just don't don't know what the right thing to do is. Yeah. And there's people that, yeah. People get embarrassed and awkward. I remember when my dad died. Did I mention that? And one of my friends... I don't know why I laugh every time you bring that up.

It's not funny. It's not funny. But come on, it's a bit funny. Like, we've gotten a lot... We've got a lot of mileage out. Listen, we're all headed there. It's fine. Go on.

Exactly. One of my friends didn't say anything to me about it. So I met them the next day. We were like in a little gang sitting on a wall smoking and just doing what teenagers do. And he just never mentioned it.

And then I was like, that is really weird. And a couple of years later I said it to him because it really stuck with me. And he was like, I'm sorry, I just didn't know what to say.

I was just really awkward and uncomfortable. So it never comes from a bad place. It always just, I think, comes from a place of I don't know what to do. The right thing to do here is. I don't know what to do the right thing to do here is

I don't know what to impinge or what to say I don't want to say the wrong thing I think even if you know it's going to make you feel uncomfortable though you should just say something No, you have to power through Yeah, you have to

You have to Do you know what I don't understand? I'm doing Kathy Burke's pod about Oh, I love her Funeral Funeral You'll have fun doing that Yeah, she's saying it

Plug her to where her ass is dead, okay? Of course Okay, good I'll bring an electrician with me I'll be fucking plugging everything but

the shaking of the hand when people die Jo which you will do no it's coming for you you go first you're first out

no Joanne's first out come on Joanne's first out I am telling you I am like a fucking cockroach I will just go and go and I will outlive

all of you that's the truth go on tell me what about the hand shaking when people die and then at the end of the funeral you have to go up

and shake the hands of the family no one like the family don't want that the people don't want it why do we have to do it sorry for your loss

sorry for your loss sorry for your loss sorry for your loss sorry for your loss sorry for your loss sorry for your loss sorry for your loss sorry for your loss but it's like the message you kind of say in the same your family are in my thoughts

and prayers it's kind of all you say and then sometimes you can't say prayers because you're like I don't want to be all holy moly all over you so I'm just thinking of you

yeah thinking of you yeah condolences I told you about my mum writing under the my friend her friend first died congratulations to you

congratulations my sincerest congratulations on the passing of your wife you must be thrilled you must be beside yourself

with the excitement of the fresh start welcome to my therapist ghost of me with me joanne mcnally and her vogue williams excuse me was my opening not good enough i thought you did an opening well if you did it certainly had no impact on us you might want to go again there so Burning Man I I've always wanted to go we've spoken about it before

and all the outfits the outfits are wild they're wild but amazing yeah they're kind of like Mad Max yeah desert-y

my idea of the Burning Man is that there's loads of like sandstorms and stuff like that that's the way they wear all the masks and everything like that but this year there's been a complete like rain out of the thing and people are like it's loads of like sandstorms and stuff like that that's where they wear all the masks and everything like that but this year there's been a complete

like rain out of the thing and people are like it's really dangerous like people can't get out people don't have food they don't have water because when you go there you bring what you need

and you can barter for different things that you need that's the kind of the festival it is like that's kind of what put me off it because I like to have

all my own bits it was hit with two to three months worth of rain in just 24 hours whoa that's wild do you know what there was like I just feel like that has always felt like that to me it feels like

really wild but it's meant to be like a life changing experience going to that festival the ten principles of Burning Man one radical inclusion anyone may be a part of Burning Man two gifting Burning Man. Two, gifting. Burning Man is devoted to acts of gift giving. Jesus.

I'll bring the jewellery collab. De-commodification. De-commodification. In order to preserve the spirit of gifting, our community seeks to create social environments that are unmediated by commercial sponsorships, transactions or advertising. So, in fact, you can't go.

No, I can't go. That's not radical inclusion. The vote can't go. It is not, that's not radical inclusion. If both can't go. Hashtag not going. Hashtag. Radical self-expression. Radical self-expression

arises from the unique gifts of the individual. You could do your comedy there. I don't know what that means. You could do your clowning, Joanne. You could. I'll just juggle.

The gift of clowning, Joanne. You could... I'll just juggle. The gift of clowning, Joanne. Like, no, no. Communal effort. Our community values creative cooperation and collaboration. You're back in, Val. You're back in.

That's it from us for this week. We'll see you... We'll see... Well, we'll talk to you next week. And for... Jesus Christ! It's good stuff. That's it from us for this week. We'll see you, we'll see, we'll talk to you next week. And for... Jesus Christ! It's good stuff. I don't know why it's so fucking hard.

That one's hard. That's why I always make you close it. Also, just to say, we're in Bristol and Brighton this weekend, but we're in Liverpool next week. Liverpool! In the Philharmonic.

I feel that nice, that nice sushi place. We're in there, we're in Liverpool next Wednesday and there are tickets left. Liverpool! In the Phil Harmonic. Let's go to that nice sushi place. We're in Liverpool next Wednesday and there are tickets left. Liverpool! Which kind of surprises me

actually. I just don't think they like you in Liverpool to be honest with you. Is it me? It's definitely you. Not me. It's one of us anyway. Bye.