My Therapist Ghosted Me - Bintcoin, Business Accounts & Scatter Cushions

Episode Date: February 25, 2022

We've all felt the tension and anxiety this week, but MTGM is here to alleviate those feelings, wherever possible! Vogue's teaches us all about FF & E, whilst Joanne sings praise for flotation tanks. Plus Nando's, credit cards & English phrases! If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

Hello and welcome to My Therapist Goes To Me. I'm Joanne McNally and that is... I'm Vogue, Vogue Williams. Pip pip, tally ho. I feel quite stressed today. I feel like you feel the same. I mean, obviously, you know, it doesn't help that World War III is starting, but apart from that, for my own personal reasons, I also feel quite stressed. I'm actually a bit frightened too. I posted something about Ukraine

because I just think the whole thing is obviously so shocking. I originally said the Ukraine. It's just Ukraine. Yeah, you're dead right. It's like someone saying the Ireland. It's not correct.

It's just Ireland. Oh, that sounds nice though. The Ireland. The Ireland. Yeah. Well, maybe, you're dead right. It's like someone saying the Ireland. It's not correct. It's just Ireland. Oh, that sounds nice though. The Ireland. Yeah. Well, maybe, you know, I'm sure the Ukraine don't want us calling us the I've just done it again, the Ukraine. We're misidentifying Ukraine. I don't think you should go to Moscow. Well,

I don't think I am going to Moscow now. But like someone has already messaged me going, I assume you're not going to Moscow now out of allegiance to Ukraine. I wasn't think I am going to Moscow now. But like, someone has already messaged me going, I assume you're not going to Moscow now out of allegiance to Ukraine. I wasn't going over to dance for Putin. I was going over to do shows for expats in Moscow. But no, I think,

no, I think it's probably not on the cards anymore. I think, no, I don't think you can go to Moscow. The other thing of major concern is like, you know, they're, like, they've, well, they've been watching Ireland for ages, but they've kind of upped their game. And there were submarines literally with their little telescopes popping out of the 40 foot in Dublin. Yeah, but we're neutral, right?

I keep telling myself that we're neutral. We're not neutral. We're neutral in the sense. That's where I was thinking if I went over to Putin. Putin's not going to want Ireland. What's he going to do with Ireland? He wants it. And it's because we're neutral because they can just take it

and then because we land planes in Shannon and we fuel American planes so we're not actually that neutral Joanne stop saying that about Ireland I'm too frightened there's a lot of things going on

in the world that have frightened me I was looking up topics for a pod and I was like I've got to stop reading the news it's like Ukraine crisis terrifying me

I think you'd be great in the army Vogue I could see you driving the tanks and all I would be I'd be in I think you'd be great in the army, Vogue. I could see you driving the tanks and all. I would be in there. Like I'd be fully driving the tanks. I would be disseminating false information. I'd be like.

You'd be good at like, yeah, intelligence. Spreading false information. Yeah. I'd be like, did you hear Putin? Did you hear Putin was in the boiler rooms doing a load of coke last night? That's the kind of shit I'd be spreading. My point is my contribution to the war would be

if I had to crack into Putin's DMs on Instagram I'm your gal if we go to war Vogue you have to come home and fight for your country I'd run

I'd run to Jersey you'd be in the same bracket as Bob Geldof then the country would turn on you just so you know does everyone still hate Bob Geldof no I actually really like Bob

he's a bit like I just wish he'd like, I don't know. How are we going to do lives? Folk, we're going to have to have a seven minute delay. Joanne,

how are we going to do lives? Do you know what? We have to cut out so much of your shit on this podcast. Jo, who has to be cut out more already? Okay, let's do it.

Like, percentage wise, Joanne, are you going to cut about 50 already? Okay, let's do it. Like, percentage-wise, Joanne, are you going to cut about 50% of her shit? She's just said. Look, it is 50-50, and for the benefit of the tape, we have so far recorded 10 minutes. I reckon I'm getting 30 seconds out of this so far. Oh, come on!

Okay, so we wanted to talk about the Tinder swindindler i know but i thought you hadn't watched that i know i have yeah oh i love all that stuff oh my god like he's so him now i do feel very sorry for the girls but i just think he's so in bits he's so embarrassing oh i saw there was actually a tweet going around going if my fella rang me and told me he was his enemies are after him she's like I just get the ick and be like you're Grant

you need to actually fuck off do you know what though I'm really weird it's quite emasculating to be honest like I wouldn't even give Spenny five Grant

wouldn't I be like like I would he owes me do you know what I mean we keep our money separate yeah and like we split

we like we have a joint account where we put the kids stuff in but I know who's last deposited in the joint account I'm very clever with that I don't like sharing

that shit no but you're you've got a money mind you'd give him every single penny ah my god I'd have given him

everything I'd like mum we've re-mortgaged the gaff because I've met this lad online and he wants the house, so I'm giving it to him. But he got like 150 grand off one of them. Sorry, firstly,

like red flags all over the shop here. Firstly, if you're going out with a rich lad, it's so that you could get his money, not so that he can use yours. Like that's real number one. He's suspicious, suspicious. Also, if he's flying you around in a private jet

and then asking you for a hundred grand, I'd be like, look, I'll give you a grand out of the credit union, but I'm going to need it back by Christmas.

I'd be like, there's limits to what I can do. But these women were giving him an American Express card. It was absolutely bonkers. Did you ever get a bit, like,

so do you know the way the women were able to apply for the credit cards and stuff? Yeah. I remember when I was in college, I was just given this credit card one day. I just arrived into the house bonkers did you ever get a bit like so do you know the way the women were able to apply for the credit cards and stuff yeah I remember when I was in college I was just given this credit card

one day I just arrived into the house with this I can't remember what the limit on it it was something like it could have

been something like four grand or something never asked for it obviously spent it within 48 hours never thought about it again all these letters

start coming into the house I don't open any I don't open any I don't open any mail or anything like that and they're all coming in with like red like you know

basically like apocalyptic type font yeah my mum opens them she's like Joanne they're literally made to blacklist you

globally and I was like for what she goes the four grand on the bank card I was just like oh yeah shit

like so basically if the Tinder swindler She goes, the four grand on the bank card. I was just like, oh yeah, shit. Like, so basically, if the Tinder swindler, he wouldn't have been able to get any cash out of me, is basically what I'm saying. I would have been safe, because I would have applied for a credit card. Ah, no, Joanne, I'd say you would have given him everything he bloody owned. Well, do you know the way they say that he love-bombed them?

But love-bombing is, like, love-bombing is, it's been given a name now, but to me, I wouldn't be able to, I wouldn't know how he's being love bombed. If someone just really fancied me and wanted to be around me all the time, I would just enjoy it. I wouldn't think if it was like a sinister act of manipulation. I would just be like, oh, he really fancies me. This is lovely. What the hell is love bombing?

Love bombing is when they say they kind of, they bought, like they're really full on at the start and they drown you in gifts and compliments and it's really overboard that there's usually some sinister reason for it because they are it's kind of narcissistic behavior basically or it's quite controlling I feel Spencer still love bombs me to this day like I'm getting bombed out of it here with love bombs did you see his posts through the day no John I forgot to tell you he wrote me a song. Go on. I can't. I can't play it. I'll have to wait

till I have a few drinks or something. But he wrote me a song. He didn't sing it but he co-wrote this song and I just thought it's this therapy. I'm telling you.

He's just like changed it. And then he put up a post yesterday and like Amber was only ringing me slagging me about it. Because obviously in our family you're not allowed to be in any way like pleasant but he goes he's talking about his race that he's doing and then he goes deeply missing my wife and kids but all being well they'll be there when i get back

where the fuck does he think we're going? He thinks you're going to the Antarctic. Where is he? Deeply missing. He's only been gone two days. Ah, yeah. But she's mad about you guys. Love bomb. I think that's just marriage, Vogue.

Do you reckon? Love bombing is when, like, it's all at the very start and it's suspicious behavior. You obviously fancy it's the Tindall orindler swindler firstly i do think he is very attractive he's had a glow up he's had a glow up anybody can have that kind of a glow up he's a bit of a ride i get that the girls were kind of gullible but i'd be a bit the same like i'm sure i'm gonna accidentally finance trump's next campaign by matching with some weirdo on Tinder

like I could see it happening to myself I could see you in a MAGA hat my only saving grace is she has one I know it I love the font

I think it's ironic I'm wearing it in an ironic way my only saving grace is that I'm not really good with paperwork so if I was trying to take out a loan

and they're like is it for home improvements and I'd be like where is the box for his enemies are after him because that's the reason I want to take out the loan they'd be like

you're not getting it and I'm like okay and I'd just go on to the next thing I'm actually kind of happy that you don't have a credit card anymore I think that's too much

for you to deal with I don't even have a credit card I think that you just stick to a debit card and that's enough for Joanne this is the other thing right so you know we've discussed bitcoin before so your man now is his name's Simon he's saying now basically he made all his money on bitcoin and I'm like bitcoin to me it's, it's like Disney dollars. It's like, can you use this to take a trolley in a shopping center? No. Can you use it to order takeaways?

No. It's not real money. Do you know, do you know another thing about Bitcoin as well? Like I know some, everyone goes on and on. The Bitcoin, I feel like the Bitcoin train is gone. It's left the station and left the station years ago. And people are still like riding the waves of Bitcoin because like

you put money in and then it like and then your money goes right up and then it all drops back down again like a person that we know invested like

like practically all of his savings into Bitcoin and he's like look how well it's doing look how well it's doing and then like literally a week later

it's like fucking flattened it's not how you make money Bitcoin's not for us and what's that other thing that everyone's doing? That was like... In Bitcoin. I was thinking for my own merch, I could bring out Bintcoin. And then you can only spend it at my gigs.

Wouldn't that be fun? That'd be fun for you, yeah. Bintcoin, yeah. Your theme tune should be... My lovely horse Jumping over fields Do you remember that song? In Father Ted My lovely horse

And then they got like The upgrade And it was like All these like different No they'd style it And they'd plagiarise it Pret a Mangia is opening in Ireland I can't believe you haven't

Brought that up before Amber mustn't know she didn't tell me about it either me and Preda are in a cold war because if they're going to try and claim that that had nothing to do with me and if they're not going to if they're

if they don't have me cutting the fucking ribbon on that shot they're idiots do you know what I don't know if they're that like like like okay I can't really if they're that like like like

okay I can't really say that without being like really ungrateful so I'm not gonna say it right okay so they gave me a card for free drinks

but like I don't want free drinks I want the porridge I only want the free porridge and they just yeah they're just you know what

it's gotta it's gotta be the whole range like what Nando's do to be the whole range. Like what Nando's do. What do Nando's do? Nando's give you a black card. I used to love Nando's. They gave me a black card and I had to go there.

Honestly, any time I was with any of my friends, can we go to Nando's? Like lived in Nando's until literally I had chicken coming out of my nose and I couldn't go anymore. And I can't go to Nando's anymore. If someone gives me a macho piece, I'd die. Out of shame? Because you chicken out of your nose? Or just you just drank,

you just ate it all, you can't bear the taste of it now? I can't, I can't do Nando's anymore now because everyone made me go so much. I heard someone got their Nando's card taken off them because they literally like

took the absolute piss out of it. Block out this name, but it was ****. That's so weird because I heard it was ****. Block out that name. Yeah, he got his car taken off

supposedly he was going like literally five times a week with his entire family first of all you're not posting and as well it's like dude like stay at home

and just fucking have some pasta pesto like you don't need to go to Nando's every day just because it's free oh come on Vogue that's totally something

we would do if I had a free Pret-a a Manger pass I'd be flying back and forth to London twice a day to eat out of the place for free I'll tell you

I'll tell you one that we should try and get back actually Zeezy's do one Zeezy's is pretty good they've got champagne on the menu and you can literally

order the champagne and you can have the pasta and it's delicious so yeah we'll take that Zeezy's we're always on the make we're always on the make we're looking forward to our free pass and we'll take that ZZs. We're always on the make. We're always on the make. We're looking forward

to our free pass and we'll take some pod listeners with us. Might as well. I know. Nice little sweet in the deal there. Oh yeah.

Do you know, do you know who needs to give me a pass? I've had two emails from Amazon in the last few weeks asking me if I'd like to give me a pass I've had two emails from Amazon in the last few weeks asking me if I'd like to switch to a business account

because it's more cost effective for the amount of shit I buy on Amazon I need nappy refills I've just bought, I got such a great deal on these nappy refills that I can't get in the shop although are we not about to do an ad campaign with Amazon? Yeah, Joanne.

Is that how we got it? Because you spent so much money with them, how could we just buy it? Anyway, we can't use anything because obviously we have to say

we love Amazon now. What do you mean we have to say we love Amazon? They're offering me a business account. I obviously love Amazon. The problem with Amazon is the convenience of it is

it's paralyzing. As in like, it's impossible. It's literally like they're sitting outside your house with the entire storage unit of shit that they sell.

And you're like, I'd like a kettlebell. And within three minutes, it's there. It's just bizarre. My last orders, right? I ordered face paint sticks

and I've got a tiger outfit for tea's school thing next week. Like, I don't have time to go to all those different shops to buy those things. Do you know who I probably won't be using again? Go on.

Airbnb. Didn't have a great experience in France. Go on. I thought, just like, you know how much I'm a clean freak? And if I think back about it now, I'm like,

just the grimy cups and shit. they just were grimed on you know if you've been using like a deep fat fryer or something and it like leaves that grease stains all over everything that's what the house was kind of like and I'm too nice to complain I remember my first Edinburgh IRB and beat um a room and a house in Edinburgh strangely and um we't have a cleaner, I was there for the month we didn't have a cleaner for the whole month I was actually, they turned the sitting room into a bedroom for me and it was just full of people who didn't know each other and

we lived in absolute squalor and it wasn't until the last week that this Brazilian girl came in and she was like this place is a shithole and I was like yeah I know, it had never once I'd never once considered complaining about it she was like, yeah, I know. It had never once, I'd never once considered complaining about it. She was like, she complained they had to

send in cleaners and everything and there was like an issue with Airbnb. I was just living and I was just getting on with it. That's what I did. And then I whinged about it. Like, I'm like, fuck it.

We'll see. I'm not packing up my shit to go again. We'll just see. People are good at that though. They're good at like, like I'd rather bitch about it after the fact

well Gerold and me were in a hotel recently where and like to be fair the I feel like I'm just being on tour

is draining I'd rather you refer to him as his real name I don't understand that one Geroid Geroid yes and

most of the hotels they're treating us like little kings it's amazing and we're getting upgraded and it's all gorgeous and lovely but one of them was

it left a lot to be desired poor Geroid when he went into the sink was full of like he was very specific they must have been painted women's finger and toenails

oh god I know I know listen I used to clean rooms in a hotel for that was what I did oh no sorry I wasn Listen I used to clean rooms In a hotel For that was what I did Oh no sorry I wasn't allowed to clean the rooms

I cleaned the toilets I wasn't even allowed To clean the rooms Someone let you Try and clean something I know Well they didn't you see In the end

That's not your forte Toilets I was literally They were like the bells alone We don't even trust you To clean the cisterns Or the sinks Literally the bells

But when you think about it You know like If you stay in a hotel and they've got those pillows like the scatter pillows all i think about is someone's like jizz and fucking back hair being on one of them as soon as i get in i don't even use my my hand i use my hairbrush and i just knock them off the bed i'm like disgusting disgusting. I never thought about that. Oh there's defo jizz. Like think about like sometimes I sit in this room here. I know it's my own house but like I could just have a thong on and like my arse

is on this stool but like think about everyone else's bums all over the top. Who jizzes on a throw pillow? You're not going to be having sex with someone. Where do you want me to come? Oh the throw pillow please. Just my eye please. That really does it for me yeah. That throw pillow you're not going to be having sex with someone where do you want me to come oh the throw pillow please just that really does it for me yeah that throw pillow over there

hold on I'll get it boys are gross they'd be having a wank in the bed and then just like I don't know wiping it on the throw pillow or that little

that little that little ruggy thing at the end of the bed they put on Joe don't even lie to us we know what you do you're a j, you sicko. Let's start calling Joe skeet.

Is that what, is that what Kanye calls Pete? Skate? What is that? What is, why does he, why? That means jizz. Oh, he's such a dickhead. Sorry,

only to touch one thing on Kanye. What's the quack with bringing around the Kim lookalike? And that girl, like, literally must have, like, no fucking, like, self-awareness to be going around and be happy with that. I think, but do not remember that he kind of made over Kim at the start as well. I think it's more a thing that he has a look that he likes or his narcissism is so extreme that he just dresses the women that he's with the way he wants them to be dressed.

And so they all look like each other but it's not like Kim started that he started that look on Kim yeah I get I'd let Kanye

make me over I would he did a great job of Julia Fox if you're gonna get your little mini um burginis

what are they called your little mini gherkins what were the bags mini burkins mini burkins me and all my mates you're like am I gonna get a mini gherkins what were the bags mini burkins mini burkins me and all my mates you're like am I going to get a mini gherkin

for all my friends thank you yeah otherwise I'm not going to it was you focus it looked like you'd done her makeup in the dark on cash

does no one go it was honestly the worst it's a little much now Julia come on a little much now she Come on A little much now She is like Oh I don't know And get jams

She's saying she was stoned When she did that I know yeah But you know they've done like This whole remix song of it Like these DJs had it Like her just going And get jams

And get jams I kind of feel a bit sorry for her If you were like picked up By this superstar And used as this publicity stunt forward slash revenge I don't know what it was and then just dropped

that's not easy no she wanted that she allowed that that's what she wanted she got what she wanted out of it as well because now we all know like I know she was in Uncle Jam's but I actually didn't know her

beyond that so actually she's kind of gotten what she wanted out of it as well. The cut had this really weird backs behind the scenes film footage of her birthday when Kanye gave them all the mini gherkins and it's really cringe

it's probably one of the cringiest things I've ever seen they're like my name's Stephen and I am iconic oh my God. Calling yourself iconic is the least iconic thing you could possibly do, Stephen. It means you're straight away, you're just not iconic. No, it means you're a wanker. Do you remember that movie, Cocoon?

Do you remember that? Yeah. Jo, you're too young. Arsehole. I've just looked at the Google Drive and Joanne's actually put something in there. But maybe that's from last time. What is it?

The flotation tank? Yeah. Did you do that? Did we talk about that? No, so basically, I was saying in my day, I think it was, I was on Ryan Tuberdy and he was saying, what do you do in your day and time about that? No. So basically, I was saying in my day, I think I was on Ryan Tuberdy and he was saying,

what do you do in your day and time? And I was like, well, ideally, I would love to just be in a flotation tank. And then a flotation tank DM'd me on Instagram. Come inside.

Come into me. Stop. Yeah, I got a DM from a flotation tank in Still Oregon, but I haven't actually managed to go in yet. But I did have a bath today.

I do believe in the healing power of water, very much so but no I will I'm going to dip into a flotation tank at some stage doesn't James Kavanagh go to like one with seaweed and shit in it floats around in seaweed for a while

or something very healing very healing me and Ger it would be I'd be into a flotation tank just to say as well on the relaxation of it all three times Gerode has forgotten we're driving a van and driven it into the car lane for the tell. And like, if that, there's no way that van's going back to them

with a lid on it. But thank you to Europe Car for the land. It's going to be going back a convertible of transit van, rest assured. They gave you a transit van. They always give me this really nice jeep actually they've got

nice cars yeah we see we needed the transit for the for the set at the back for the JOA yeah

but so I am very appreciative to Europe Car for the land that's my thanks for the car that's going to come back in four pieces

that's my collab but it will be coming back it's having a glow down if you will rather having a glow down, if you will, rather than a glow up. I think those transits look better when they look like

they've had a bit of work. Like when they've actually been through a few jobs and on the building site. Makes you want to rent them more. 100% it's sexier. A man in a van is sexy. And like,

Gerold can't drive it, but the first time he parked it without killing anyone, I was like, well, hello Gerold. Is there a Mrs. Garrote? Is there a Mrs. Garrote? Well, he's gay, but there's a Mr. Garrote, yeah.

Usually my gaydar is way off. Not as bad as Amber's. Amber thinks everyone's a lesbian. He's, um, garrote is a... No, not garrote, garr Geroid has to be Geroid. He's a plaid gay. So like, do you know there's kind of different types of gay men and different types of gay women.

There's like chic lesbians and there's like lipstick lesbians. Yeah. We found out what Geroid... So basically these two young gays came in to have their photo taken with him last night. They were dressed exactly like him.

They're just all in these little plaid shirts. And I was like, oh my God, you're a plaid gay. You're a plaid shirt gay that's your tribe like the bears you get the bear I'd be into the bear gays

oh yes are they the really huge ones with the giant beards yeah yeah stunning I got really bad news during the week

go on I mean really bad news for me obviously like it's not bad news in the grand scheme of things, but like when you're pregnant, you have to go and do this diabetes test. I've always flown through it, done really, really well. Now I don't have diabetes. That's not the bad news.

So, so I went in and my doctor was like, you're, you're, you're on the cusp. You're on the cusp. Are you eating a lot of sugar? And I was like, well, I had a dip dab 20 minutes before I came here. So I could, I guess you could say that I've been, I just bulk ordered 50 dip dabs

from Amazon, obviously. 50. And I only got through like four of them and now I can't have dip dabs anymore. We're going to have to ring

Jeff Bezos and have you cut, we're going to have to cut you off. Well, that's kind of scary I know well no it's not really I just literally have to stop eating dip dabs because I think it's the mix of dip dabs hot chocolates and chocolate every day that is kind of that mix together isn't great and I also eat some sweets as well during the day because I just they're just there yeah you do I'm very into the Marks and Spencer's busy pigtails. You do have a sweet tooth.

I would have thought though, because you work out and stuff, that that would kind of negate the sugar in your body, but obviously not. I think it's my body telling me that this is the last pregnancy, that like you can't do this again. It's not right.

I'm not giving up dip dobs for nine months again. No way. No way. That's not a life'm not giving up dip dabs for nine months again no way no way not that's not a life that I want to live the next baby you're like

you're getting three months in the incubator and then you're out because I'm only giving up dip dabs for three months and then you're done you better cook yourself quick

cook it up quick there it's all I could possibly do when you were talking about your flotation device by the way I've actually upped if it's even possible have you seen what I do in the bath?

Well, I know. I don't open those videos, to be honest, because I'm just not really sure what's in them. Well, I got myself. I'm going to buy you one for London. You're going to start having baths in London. And like it's this thing that goes across the bath. You can put loads of bits on it. There's one that has a wine glass holder

I'll get you that one my one basically I put my laptop on it last night I was watching the newest Pam and Tommy I had milk on one side I didn't have a dip dab

because I'm behaving milk on one side and grapes on the other and I thought this is the fucking life floating away it sounds absolutely divine

and that's why it's so crazy that you could be in the army soon you're like I'm into bath bombs you know like from Lush that's kind of

my main war experience is that any good that was listen I feel like lied my way into loads of jobs it's grand I once beat 3,000 people for um for a placement in London right and it was for a job for FF&E on a building site and I went

in and I remember the guy's name Rebelle and like I knew how many people were up for the job and he was like so so like do you like FF&E Cause that's what you'll be looking after on site. And I'm like, yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I've got questions. What's FF&E? Yeah, listen, I have the same questions. I was like, oh my God, I love FF&E. That's like literally what I want to do when I finished college.

I want to just do FF&E and it's fixtures, fittings and electrical. So like I used to spend hours hours like I'd go into all the toilets and measure where the toilet roll holders would go also I hadn't learned how to use a measuring tape so it was too late for him by then he'd already employed me I had told him I loved FF&E and I didn't know how to use a measuring tape when I came back in after my first assignment of toilet roll holders he was like fuck I've really made a ball to this one they're all on the roof and all you're like I feel like it's I feel like that's good ff and e is it it's on the roof I really feel like I did a really good ff and e job there

that poor person that didn't get to have that job and then do you know what Neil tried to send me to Qatar after because that's where they were all headed all the people in my school like they were all going to Qatar I was like do you think I'm going to Qatar and then I did Fade Street I don't think Neil likes you very much

I mean sending you to Qatar is a really extreme decision what are you going to like what to insert toilet rolls in Qatar like that's the dream job

he has for you listen that's your limit Vogue you're really good you're really shit as FF and E's to go and do it in Qatar do you know

he is still furious with my sister this is my stepdad by the way Neil he's still really pissed off that she didn't go to France in her gap year

and go to school over there for a year and learn French he's still fucking he brings it up in arguments I told you that you should have

gone to France like he gets so so pissed off I bet Neil that is so spot on that is so good he's like from the

he's like from the Vogue you will be on my fast whistle yeah yeah yeah your mom's glad yeah

if I accept that blows a whistle you fucking run over here not to speak about nations I know we don't like that

we don't like Scottish people we don't like to make sweeping generalizations we've established that but here we go she's on it again

go on go on Margaret Thatcher what have you got to say now if you piss off a Scottish person on your head Sophie his whole family was like that like he would not want to get in the wrong side of them

still to this day I'd be careful about I would never say the F word or anything in front of Neil if he listened to this podcast he would think that I needed to go to some kind of facility he'd be like imagine we're

dialing in next week and Vogue's like ringing in from Qatar we're like Vogue Neil listens to the podcast I've been sent to a facility oh god Neil's he's old school he's like a wash out your mom with soap kind of vibes

I know My mom did that to Amber Once Years ago I'll never forget it Because I stood there watching You know when you're younger And you're like

You love seeing other people Get in trouble And literally She had soap in her mouth It was It was fucking brilliant I remember what the old Bathroom looked like

And everything I found Like it really had made my day Vogue You're the kind of woman Who'd be queuing up To it really had made my day Vogue you're the kind of woman who'd be queuing up to watch a beheading in the square

that's the kind of woman you are you'd be trying to nudge your way through to the front you'd be like sorry about Wayland it's about VIP VIP

I think I've got a box somewhere here I think I've got a box I'm no I'm definitely on the list I'm definitely on the list I can't believe you're saying one second

you're saying yeah don't start don't start don't start my Addison Lee is late I'll be at the beheading I'm going to be 20 minutes late can you just

can you just pause it like when you were saying you're watching your sister get her mouth washed out I thought you'd be like it was terrible you're like it was amazing I can remember the scene

the smell the excitement the thrill no I don't think no I've never had that done to me oh my god stop like even now

if one of us gets in trouble like when we're in each other's company I literally will be like I find it so funny no I can't bear confrontation even if it's not my own do you remember no I can't bear confrontation even if it's not my own

do you remember like I don't know like if you'd go on a first date with somebody or something and like they'd go in for the kiss and you'd be thinking

I don't want to and you'd have to do a pity kiss I'd have to ah yeah ah god well somebody that I know very closely

cut that out though like beep it went in for the kiss and you're one date two as well like so she'd been on two dates

and I'm didn't kiss him and that was it didn't fancy him it's very awkward I wouldn't even care if they looked like a fucking ingrown toenail

I'd be like you're such a trooper isn't she look at you I'm so kind You're going to be great On the front lines You're going to be great On the front lines

When Russia invade us You're going to be great What did you call them? I don't know Like scatter cushions Scatter cushions Sorry I was going to call them Swallow cush't know, like scatter cushions. Scatter cushions, sorry. I was going to call them swallow cushions, but it doesn't matter.

There was a joke there, but I didn't know what it was. Okay, Joanne, I heard, right, an English saying the other day, and I never heard it before, and it made me think right I bet you don't know what loads of these sayings are and now that you're practically English

Ouch Yeah Joanne sees herself as fully English now. She wants to change her passport. Well do you remember back in the day if you went to England for work they called it taking the soup and if you had a Mac in your name they'd take it away. So now technically my name's Joanne Nally.

Do you remember that? Well, we don't. It was the famine. I mean, we weren't around, but like. Okay, right. A Kent face. A what? You ever heard of that?

It's commonly used in Scotland. I would say it's a kind. When you see a person, they know. This one I didn't know. Don't teach your grandmother to suck eggs. I know that one. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Go, go, go. Teaching someone something easy that they already know. Wow, that's quite good. Okay. It's brass monkeys outside. Freeze them.

Told you, she's fucking English. Nosh. Food. Or? Bish, bash, bosh. A pedophile. What do they? Bish bash bosh. A pedophile. What do they call them?

Oh God. A nonce. Isn't that what the English call a pedophile? A nonce. I hate that word. It's the worst word. It's not great.

I don't like that word. So what is nosh? Nosh. Nosh is food or a blowy. When you go on your next date and they say will you nosh me off?

He's not asking if you want more chicken wings. Yeah, like, well, it's a calorie-free meal. Let's go. Quasimodo. Jo, you probably don't even know that.

That's your man who was living up the top of the tower with the back condition. The good-looking fella. Yeah. That's not an English saying. That's a Disney character.

No, it's a Cockney rhyming slang for soda water so a gin and quasi moto a vodka quasi yeah a vodka quasi a queen mum

your one who lives in Windsor no it's Cockney rhyming slang for bum we've moved into Cockney rhyming slang section Ed

we probably needed that information Jo she's trying to sabotage us Joanne I'm sorry, but these are English sayings. Cockney is English. Okay, hit me.

Queen of the South. Jo, Jo. Cockney slang for mouth. Yeah, okay, Jo told you that. Jo gave me that one away, yeah. Jo. Fucking, it looked like you were trying to give your finger

a blow or whatever. Apples and pears stairs ream dream no it's English then for something being nice like that looks so ream

like your your jacket's so ream oh yeah like deadly yeah lush Spenny says lush a lot so lush

that's lush that's all the ones I could find we know the a lot say lash that's lash that's all the ones I could find we know the rest I like that that's fun maybe we should bring in like a little quiz

every week in some capacity we should do some kind of quiz but maybe listener emails could send us in some fun games

that they want us to do if you want to send us some nice fun games and quizzes send it to hello at mtgmpod.com well we've had an absolutely Send us some nice fun games and quizzes. Send it to hello at mtgmpod.com.

Well, we've had an absolutely fantastic time hanging out with you tonight. Joanne has been very inspiring. We've had to cut out most of what she said. Yeah, I just, I mean, I guess me and you talking about Russia invading the Ukraine was always going to be a bit ropey. But let it be said, we gave it a go. We are aware of what's going on in the world. invading the Ukraine was always going to be a bit ropey. But let it be said we gave it a go.

We are aware of what's going on in the world. I think they want our political chats to stay around the Wagga the Christie vibe. I think that's the energy for us. Oh yeah, we have to

actually go back to that. I'm waiting for a bit more information but your one had to pay No, I'd love that. Oh, I'll try and find out some gossip on that actually.

Your one had to pay her legal fees. Colleen Ro I had to pay her legal fees. Colleen Rooney had to pay Rebecca Varney's legal fees. Why? So what does that mean? I don't know. I'm going to ask some lawyer that I might know. I don't know any lawyers, but I'll find one.

Go into your celebrity WhatsApp group. Get the dirt. I know, I'd love if I had dirt like that, but I don't. You know, I don't have very many celebrity friends. I was only trying to find a celebrity friend to do something for me recently. And I was like, fuck me, I don't have any. Excuse me.

Excuse me. How dare you? Do you know what? You're actually the fucking last person on earth I would ask to do what I need someone to do. It's to write a nice quote about my children's book. No thanks. I would love to do it's to write it's to write a nice quote about my children's book

no thanks I would be I would love to do that I know