My Therapist Ghosted Me - Breakfast Radio, Magic Mike & A Hearing Test

Episode Date: May 10, 2024

The results of Vogue's hearing test are in and they are... Unsurprising. Plus, a meet and greet with Magic Mike and the mad story of Belle Gibson.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com/For more information about Joanne's gigs, visit: www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally. I like this set up actually I do now that I've sat up we're in a different room today I like a bit of desk energy because it makes me feel like

we've got our own radio show which well this is where I used to this is where I used to do my radio show is it? yeah this room

memory lane I know all I remember from here is feeling violently ill because I was always pregnant when I was in here and like feeling so hideously sick, bringing in the most disgusting breakfast

because I had to get up at half four in the morning. So I just bring in like a little bag of some Cocoa Pops or something like that. Half four in the morning. So I know that when people do radio, breakfast, oh, he's just joking, but we're trying to work. Joe.

Joe will keep taking your hot drink away from you by the way because you're not supposed to have it near the desk did I ever tell you I accidentally

sent a radio demo in no it was an absolute breakdown in communication there was a radio station who asked would I like to learn to drive the desk

which is what you call well driving the desk yeah so I could do kind of cover and bits like that and I was like yeah sure I'll learn how to drive the desk.

And then I ended up putting in a demo for a show, but I was never briefed about what to do. And I ended up making like a 90s radio show. It was like a fake show. And I sent it in, but I never wanted my own show. I don't know how. Anyway, then the fucking big wig up the top of the radio thing sent me an email back saying, I've listened to your demo.

Quote unquote, it's one of the worst demos No they didn't I've ever listened to in my life and I No and I was like dude come here

I don't even want this I don't know how this has happened Stop I wasn't pitching for a radio show I was just going to drive

I was just going to use the buttons that was all I was going to do maybe do a bit of cover here and there Oh no the worst thing I've ever heard and I was like I'm not to do. Maybe do a bit of cover here and there. Oh, no. The worst thing I've ever heard. And I was like, I'm not having that now. That's a bit much. That's rude. I mean, it was probably absolute dog

shit, but like. Do you remember? Did you remember? I used to have my own radio show and this is, this will make you happy, right? So I have my own radio show on Spin 1038 and I was asked to do it and I used to, so I used to have to, it was a dance radio show. It was four hours a week. Love it. I had to bring all my own music.

So I'd buy all my own music. I had to go in. I had to do the whole show myself, put the whole thing together myself, do all my links, go in on the night, play it out. They didn't even pay for my parking. So it was kind of minus money by the time I was finished all this work that I'd done for a radio show for the week. And I did it for ages.

And I used to do all these fake shout outs like, oh, big shout out to Andrea out there in town out with the girls.

She's having a great night. I hope you, this one's for you, Andrea. I heard that. Can I come? ATP. I thought that a lot of those

requests are fake though, are they not? Yeah, you make all of it up. But come here, why did a radio station have no music? Well,

no, because I wasn't, Spin as you know, Spin plays loads of pop music and stuff. I was playing dance, it was a dance radio show. I mean it must have been absolutely trash. You were in there with your iPod and Anna just held it up to the mic. Ambie Bambie out in the tear tonight,

she's going to paint the town red. We'd do a great radio show together, wouldn't we? We would, but I want a TV show for us. but the problem with the radio is it's so restrictive like so that was my point

about the breakfast everyone wants breakfast radio because that's like the best show to have on radio but like I don't want to go I don't even I don't even want to have

a lunchtime radio show I don't want to be up I don't want to be up before 11am I know but it's every day that you have to do it I guess we do kind of have a radio show

that we can kind of get up but yeah no it's not on the radio it's not Jo it's every day that you have to do it. I guess we do kind of have a radio show that we can get up. But yeah. No, it's not on the radio. Jo, it's not the same thing. We want a breakfast radio show, but we don't want to start it till... We don't want a breakfast radio show. No, we don't. I don't.

Unless we can pre-record at 11pm at night. Well, if we... Come here. If we're getting paid, but they're getting paid, I'll do a breakfast radio show. Is it big money? Big money. Do you know what they pay in Australia? They're on like four mil a year or something. Like mad money. What? Yeah, we'll do a breakfast radio show is it big money big money do you know what they pay in Australia they're on like

four mil a year or something like mad money what yeah we'll do we want a breakfast radio show in Australia yeah

and do it from here so we can do it at night yes boom oh my god and you'll have to record your bits in the morning and I'll do my bits

and give it to put it into the AI and let them mix it up we've just made our perfect job. Yeah. So if anyone in Australia is listening, which I'm sure they're not. Speaking of jobs, did you see what Anne Hathaway came out and said? I know what you're going to say.

Shift 10 lads for a job or something. Yeah. Well, she called it a gross act. I don't know if that would be so gross myself. Depends. Do we know who the lads are? You know what? You know the way I'm always like if that would be so gross myself. Depends who they were. Do we know who the lads are? You know what? You know the way I'm always like,

oh, he's a ride. Oh, I'd give him one and I'm married and I have no intention of doing it. Acting is the perfect way for me to vent my sexual urges. Yes.

So she was told, basically, she was doing a chemistry test and she was told that we have 10 guys coming today. Are you excited to make out with all of them? And she was a bit like,

oh, and I mean, I suppose kissing 10 different guys in one day would be a bit much. It's Irish college. Irish college is about 30 a day. That's actually true, yeah. That was a slow day for me

down in the Grail. It was terrible. But why? I don't understand. Sorry if this is a silly thing to say, but like, how come I, as just a laymanman have to kiss lads

with no chemistry and not get paid like why does she need chemistry with anyone is she not an actress I don't get it the great way is speed dating

speed kissing but like why do you have to have chemistry as an actress do you not act the chemistry is that not kind of the point well you can't really have chemistry

with somebody who's completely shite like you can't I remember what if they're a great actor and she's like I don't like his tongue's a shite. Like, you can't. I remember... What if they're a great actor and she's like, I don't like...

His tongue's a bit jagged or something. He doesn't get the job. I wonder... Well, it depends. Imagine he had a chemistry test and it was like Brad Pitt. Give me my good line of Brad Pitt. Not into him.

Ah. Are you mad? No. No, not into him. Not since he hit the kids on the plane. Oh, God. He didn't. Sorry if I don't find domestic abuse sexy.

I'm not into it. I'd probably score, what's his name? He's got the most symmetrical face. He crashed the plane because he was doing coke and drinking. Denzel Washington. I don't know anything about that story.

It was a film. No, it's not real life. Oh God. Denzel Washington was flying a plane and crashed it after doing bad. Allegedly. I was like, I need to upkeep my Washington was flying a plane and crashed it after doing back, allegedly. I was like, I thought I need to upkeep my daily mail reading.

I've really slowed down. When I read that about Anne Hathaway, it brought up something in my own past career. So do you remember, I don't know if you ever did that, but I used to go for auditions for ads and to try and get an ad because the Holy Grail was getting an ad

because you get paid like a grand or something. And I didn't have to be on the Grafton Street in a bikini. It was great. So I went for this audition for an ad because the Holy Grail was getting an ad because you get paid like a grand or something and I didn't have to be on the Grafton Street in a bikini. It was great. So I went for this audition for an ad. They let you indoors. Yeah, I was allowed inside.

I didn't get hypothermia for once. You're like a little dog and there's a cat with your nose up against the window. I'd like to go inside. Please, please.

And they like wrap you in a rug and you're like shaking from the cold. They're like, aww. She's a street model now. She shaking from the cold. They're like, aw. She's a street model now. She's a house model.

She's a house model. I always wanted to be a house indoor model. So I went to this audition and they were like, you've got to kiss this guy. But it was for like a brand, a family kind of brand. I wasn't really thinking along those any lines.

So anyway, it was a male model and me, delighted. And they were like, oh, just have and me, delighted. And they were like, oh, just have like a little kiss. And they were obviously thinking like, have a little kiss after you've bought

your family friendly stuff. And we full on like tongued, because I just kind of went with what he was doing. And I remember they were like, I'll never forget their faces. They were just like,

oh, contorted. We basically started riding over in the corner just dry riding each other well like they obviously weren't briefed correctly or else he was

briefed correctly he knew exactly what he was doing I was 17 that was kissing at the time yeah of course that's what we did it was supposed to be

just a family peck it was meant to be just a family peck it was when he started putting his hands down my pants I said no you gotta stop guys

did you not get it no unusually no I didn't get it get that whore out of here put her back in the lowest line where she belongs someone throw some

snow in her face there's so much boards well I turned 41 this week I didn't know if I was allowed to say that happy birthday thank you did you notice I didn't put if I was allowed to say that. Happy birthday.

Thank you. Did you notice I didn't put it up yesterday? No. You're welcome. There's birthday people. There's two types of birthday people. There's the people who go absolutely hell for leather about their birthday, like they've turned eight again.

Yeah. And there's the people who are quite discreet about their birthday. I am a discreet birthday person. I would like to think I am too, but I have started throwing myself parties. But now you throw yourself parties. I don't really. I would like to think I am too but I have started throwing myself parties but now you throw yourself parties. I don't really. I was at your party.

We weren't really now. You had a party yesterday as well. I didn't really now. I just eat dinner and then I tell them it's my birthday party to make them pay for it. Do you know what I mean?

That's actually a very good idea. So we went for dinner before Magic Mike and I announced it was my birthday and then obviously the pressure was off to pay and then my friend Onya came over for my birthday yesterday and of course took me out for dinner

because it was my birthday. So I think I've had my fill of free dinners. That's two free dinners I've had now. Now you just need your free gifts. I need my free gifts. But I woke up and I swear, do you know the way we always talk, do you know the way we talk about complaining and how we don't really complain because I'm embarrassed to complain? Oh, no, you're like Spenny. If something's not right, I would have a little complainy,

but in a nice way. Well, I woke up this morning, 41 years of age, straight down to my local... Post office. Restaurant. I thought you were going to complain to the post office. No, I went down to my local

and I complained. I complained twice by the time I got here. I don't know what's happened. I'm 41 and I'm out for blood. Do you know what drives me? Bananas. Hard eggs.

First world problems, etc. No, I've sorted that. You order a salad. On a menu, say, they're like salad. Yeah. Chopped salad. You can choose to add chicken

if you so wish. Yeah. So I'll say, chopped salad, add the chicken. Salad came out and I called your man back. I said, no fucking way. I pulled the chicken off

I said are you telling me that if I hadn't ordered the extra chicken you were going to give me three scoops of couscous two cherry tomatoes and a bit of dry courgette I was so enraged

because I know I don't like that I don't like being given way too small a portion what the fuck it was like 20 pounds no no see I would complain

about that though I'm not going to go into the details woke up 41 years of age. I've complained twice on the way in here. I think I'm in my complaint era. No, I think, honestly, you can't start complaining before the age of 60.

My mum started around, she started early. She was around 55 and she hasn't stopped complaining since. She's on a roll. She's on a roll. Anybody will like, but then she'll take nicely to somebody.

Like, she's got a friend that she really likes because the friend is really old. So she feels like she's helping her and she'll be really nice to her. But everyone else, she's got a friend that she really likes because the friend is really old. So she feels like she's helping her and she'll be really nice to her. But everyone else, she's kind of just miffed about. Miffed? There's that word again. Am I turning English? Oh my God.

What's happened? I don't know about miffed. I don't even know if miffed is an English word. Oh my God. There's probably people out there who are still booking jobs that will just remember me as that girl who just came in and ate someone's head

instead of pecking them. And I think we were like, like we were literally just like, hi. And I literally was like, hi. Mom! Do you know that Garou, do you know my very good friend?

Yeah. He had a job once called a flasher. Oh. He was actually called, the once called a flasher. Oh. He was actually called, the job title was flasher. So that was his role? His role was flasher and he used to have to stick stickers on biscuit tins saying that there was a reduction on them. And for every 40 biscuit tins, he got 12 cents or something in saying.

But his title was flasher. What, so he just, just to put stickers on things? Yeah. I actually looked up, because I knew we were going to be talking about jobs the worst jobs in history do you want to hear them oh yeah I do yeah there was

oh she's going to get really dark now remember that thing you told me about the pig where they burn someone alive in the oh desperate and then the squealing it was built do you know

do you know that these things stick in my mind well just for anyone for anyone who doesn't listen to that there was an empty big tin can of a pig and they put someone inside it these things stick in my mind. Well, just for anyone who doesn't listen to that, there was an empty, big tin can of a pig and they put someone inside it and burned them from underneath and then their screams

would come out the nose of the pig. And it would sound like a squeal. It was really awful. It was a torture device. It was a torture device. I'm telling you, people say the world

is burning today. Put you in medieval England. Oh, God. Mother of God. And I told you about that thing where they just push someone into a pit of spikes and just let them die slowly Oh God. And I told you about that thing where they just push someone into a pit of spikes and just let them die

slowly. God. The role of groom of the stool. So the groomer of the stool was required to take the monarch

to the toilet, check the stool and clean the royal bottom. How could you let anyone wipe your arse? Like honestly. When you're royal, back in the day

royals were really royals. I suppose it was kind of disgusting. Now they're just fridge magnets. back in the day royals were really royals, you know. I suppose it was kind of disgusting. Now they're just fridge magnets. They were proper. Do you know what I mean? It was like a proper thing. Now no one gives a shit. The amount of orases I have to go around wiping a day.

I've gotten to the point, you won't have gotten there yet, Jo, where I'll walk into a toilet and there's just a big I'll open the toilet to just sit down and go to the toilet and there's just like faecal matter in the toilet. Quite a large amount of it. And it could be any given toilet. I don't know if it's the kids. I to the toilet and there's just like faecal matter in the toilet quite a large amount of it and it could be any given toilet. I don't know if it's the kids.

I don't know if it's Spencer. I just know that I'm living in a shit show. The joy of motherhood. A tosher. Someone who used to trawl through sewers in search of anything valuable.

Oh no. You're just giving out about getting up from breakfast radio. There's no real need for that by the way. There's no need for that job. What are you going to find down in the sewers?

That's what I'm saying. Who swallows their fucking pearl earrings? Like, I don't get it. There was a Welsh tradition of sin eating, where when someone died, they would put a piece of bread on their chest and then a sin eater would eat the piece of bread off their chest and that would take their sins off them.

Really bizarre, really, isn't it? You'll notice now when you turn up to my funeral, I have an open casket and a 12-inch soap on my stomach for all my sins

for you to chew off of. Thank you. Sorry, but we haven't actually spoken about the fact that I was 38 years old when I realised that I was 38 years old when I realised

that I was shit in bed Joanne Oh my god Joanne took us to Magic Mike Yeah

on Friday night Yeah and I have to say I didn't quite understand what was going on when it was happening I had so

much fun It was great It was so funny Yeah So I'd been to Magic Mike in Las Vegas and I loved it so much fun. It was great. It was so funny. Yeah. So I'd been to Magic Mike in Las Vegas

and I loved it and I was on the podcast banging on about the fact it was a feminist masterpiece and then Magic Mike got in touch and invited us in to go and see the London one.

Yeah. And I was so pleased because it's exactly the same. They did it exactly the same. But what I will say is what's really fun about the London one is and like the Las Vegas one

as much as I loved it, I think the London one was even sexier because there was no like tats. Like they weren't like tattoo. Like they all look like fucking Pogues Malone in the London one

which is way sexier than the kind of bare, naked, raw, clean skin of the Las Vegas one. I like a bit of rough and ready, you know. I know.

One lad was, I don't know if it was veneers or a grill, but his teeth were popping. I know who you're talking about. Yeah. But you know what, though? I've never seen so much humping in my life. I know. Oh my God, they literally, but I think it's very inclusive. A lot

of people got humped. They told us at the start, they're like, if you don't want someone humping you, just say unicorn. And so they came over and this guy came to just kiss Joanne's hand and I was like, unicorn! Because I just really didn't want to be humped. No.

And that's why I really like it because it's not like back in the day, I don't know what Magic Mike was like in medieval England which I'm obsessed with. It was such a tougher time to live.

They probably didn't have a safe word in medieval England for Magic Mike. But this one, they give you the safe word and it's led by a woman. There's a female MC she was brilliant as well

and then the female dancer that incredibly sexy dance where they actually bring up a randomer from the audience and it turns out she's like you know basically Tina Turner

a spoiler Joanna as you always say to me is that a spoiler alert? I mean it's pretty obvious once you're there I have to say it was a good show

but it made me think they do so much air humping around the place there when they get home they can't be doing I mean, it's pretty obvious once you're there. I have to say it was a good show, but it made me think, right? They do so much air humping around the place there. When they get home, they can't be doing much riding. I'd say that they are like, if you're going to go out with one of the Magic Mike boys, you're going to have to go on top all the time.

Yes, because they're wrecked from work. They're wrecked from work. I don't even remember the last time I was on top. I genuinely don't. I could, and I'm married. You're married, I know. We always talk about that. We never go on top. I'm don't. Oh, God. And I'm married. You're married, I know. We always talk about that. We never go on top.

I'm going to go on top tonight. I'll tell you about it tomorrow. I'm going to go on top. Celebrate magic, Mark. Spenny will be fucking terrified. Get her away. What's happening here? But Joanne, not only did she organize...

It was very sexy. Sorry, it was a very sexy night. It was a very sexy night. And Joanne very kindly organised a meet and greet for after the show which we were only thrilled about

yeah now I don't know if the lads were that thrilled they had a second show we went to like the matinee magic mic they have three shows on a Saturday

was it three? that was show two and they were not I mean I felt I thought it was only two oh god love them I know it's really full on and they're waiting for a picture and then halfway through the show it started putting on lip liner

and Tron's like are you putting on lip liner for the book so I remembered as we were sitting there watching Magic Mike I said to Vogue I leaned over and said remember now we've a meet and greet with these lads and then I turned back to look at more humping and when I looked to my side again Vogue was laying that lip liner on pick out and you see now she's sitting in the dark you'll see the pencil going like

ballistic on her face you're putting on that for the last I was like you're married you shouldn't even be doing that but we got backstage

anyway and we got we got pictures with them and I swear to God I have shown you the pictures

so I was wearing this top with no brand which I will never be wearing again and I looked at the pictures. So I was wearing this top with no brand which I will never be wearing again. And I looked at the pictures and we're standing there like delighted with ourselves, standing with the boys. And honestly, you can see

the veins in my chest. They all have bigger tits than me. I look so... That's why I can't post them. I haven't sent them to you because I cannot have one of them go out there. Yeah, I don't remember seeing them now. There was a couple of drinks on board. But look, we'll have it for our own private collection. I know, and then I, and then, do you know what I did?

I'm like, oh. You should have stuffed your bra, Vogue. We could be using those photos. I know, I just didn't. I'll see if someone can do a bit of work. You can photoshop them. Joe will do a little bit of photoshop. Throw them into the AI, Vogue. Throw them into the AI, that's a good idea. Throw them into the AI. But then, after I'd had my picture with the boys, I went and asked

Mike for a selfie on my own and I was like why? I saw it after and I was like I am so embarrassed like I wouldn't even ask

Tina Turner in her in her alive days for a picture I think it would have been a soft swap for him did you? I could hear you kind of

pulsing beside me when he was on he was right but it was just no not for me. Anyway, we had a ball and you know,

that's what we are. We're just big into, we're big into art. We're just, we're just culture vultures. We're just West End gals going for West End shows. You know what I mean?

The Hippodrome is a weird ass place, isn't it? It's on the Hippodrome in Leicester Square. I really don't like, I don't like casinos at all. I actually hate them. I hate even walking into them.

They're a bit oppressive. So much carpet. And I don't like casinos at all. I actually hate them. I hate even walking into them. They're a bit oppressive. So much carpet. And I don't like the glasses they have. They never have nice glasses for drinks. Okay, I'm at that age now where I want a nice thin glass. That's all I want. I was on Lorraine this week

and I was wearing a... I don't know if you saw it, but I was wearing these new pants that have come out, right? They're like shapewear pants but they have an arse so they're padded arse pants oh nice

yeah great that I was wearing on telly and it really made a difference to the bum bum bum pants is that what they're called? the bum bum pants yeah are they actually called

bum bum pants? I think so why what's wrong about why are you so shocked? it's very child well they're not going to be called arse pants no but I'm actually

I'm asking genuinely are they called bum bum pants? well I thought they were called bum bum pants but, they're not going to be called arse pants. No, but I'm actually, I'm asking genuinely, are they called bum bum pants? Well, I thought they were called bum bum pants, but maybe they're not. Maybe they're just called shapewear pants. Let's have a look. Butt shapewear, padded bum, fab lift. Yeah. Butt shape power. I did feel a bit, no,

okay, well, I felt a bit weird going around in them anyway because I sat down on the couch then to talk to Lorraine and I kind of bounced back off. I was just like, they're just so filled. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I wear a bit weird going around in them anyway because I sat down on the couch then to talk to Lorraine and I kind of bounced back off. I was just like, they're just so filled. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I wear a really padded bra, so I don't want to be too much. You don't want to be bouncing around too much. No.

No. When filming in a relatively unknown film, Shia LaBeouf apparently had to orgasm on scene. An actual orgasm. an actual orgasm. An actual orgasm. He said he feels a bit weird knowing his orgasm face is out there for everyone to see. So he actually orgasmed, like, proper.

What the fuck? Why? I don't understand. Like, how arty is art? That's too indie. Like, you wouldn't see that in Coronation Street. Imagine. No, no.

You're not supposed to act. Why can't you just pretend he's orgasming? Like, we do. Every weekend. You're not supposed to act. Why can't you just pretend he's orgasming like we do? Every weekend. I'm going on a slightly work-related... I'm doing one show in the Etihad Arena

with Tommy Tiernan and Kevin Bridges. And then the organiser said, do you want... You can stay on in the hotel if you want. For how long? So I'm going to stay, I'm going on a single woman Sunday holiday on my own for five nights.

To Abu Dhabi? Yes. You could go to Ferrari World. Is that over there? Yeah, I've been to Ferrari World. You could go there. I need things to do because I'm... You could go to Dubai.

What? You could go to Dubai. I could go to Dubai. Oh my gosh I feel like Joanne you're going to sit on your arse at that hotel pool that is your dream

and it is your duty actually I wonder how much a long time I can take I'll probably have a mental health crisis but I just couldn't turn down a freebie, even at the expense of my mental health. I have to go.

And I'm going to become one of those, can I join you people? Do you know when you're on holidays and someone's like, I know, can I join you? Do you mind if I join? I say day three, I'm like, would you mind if I join you? Like some couple on their honeymoon. They're like, we do actually, yeah. Five days is a long time. Could you not hang out with the boys for a couple of days? I think they're only staying for

the night of the show oh my god I love Kevin Bridges as you know he's my favourite male comedian I know you're a big Kevin fan I'm so jealous

I couldn't even do one night in Dubai on my own do you know that like I was going to stay one extra night because Fanny was going home and I was

like I actually can't do that's how pathetic I am I'd love to be able to do what you're doing just go away on my own for a couple of days I don't know why I think it's such a big deal

because I travel on my own all the time I think it's because it's like a decided holiday anyway I'm hoping for some sort of white lotus I kind of see myself

as a Jennifer Coolidge I'd like to be a person of interest just to kind of spice up the week Margot Robbie was bridesmaid at her friend's wedding. Yeah.

Fair play to the friend. The friend must have a lot of confidence because I don't know. I just feel like Margot Robbie is actual Barbie. Like some of your friends are just really, really hot and like there's nothing that you can do about it. You can just hope that they have a bad personality. Yeah.

Like you'd hope Margot Robbie does, but I think she's actually meant to be quite sound. But I thought it was really, like, interesting that she would want her as a bridesmaid, which I thought was nice. And then it also made me think that all my friends think I'm ugly because they all had me.

Anytime I've been a bridesmaid, it must be, oh, she's ugly enough to be my bridesmaid. So Liz Jones, she said, you should never have a bridesmaid younger, thinner, or more beautiful than you are. And I, like, I know I'm joking about the Margot Robbie thing, but is that not a bit strange? Yeah, it is a bit odd.

Isn't that kind of Liz's thing though? She's a bit of like a shock journalist. So she'll say really controversial things for clickbait. But is it for clickbait? Or is she actually thinks that? I think if you want to have Margot Robbie as a bridesmaid, you probably want to like pop her in that Mr. Blobby suit or a wetsuit. Everyone looks ugly in a wetsuit.

Yeah, dress her down. Yeah, or like a swimming hat. A swimming hat. No one can escape a swimming hat. You're just a monster going around in a swimming hat. Have you watched the RTV documentary about Belle Gibson? I haven't watched it yet, but I know all about her. I read about it.

So, have you heard about her, Joe? I thought you'd said Mel Gibson at first. So, no. So, Belle Gibson is probably a better actor than Mel. Belle was an Australian. She still is. She's still alive. She's an Australian con artist who basically is this gorgeous looking,

very youthful, shiny haired, glowy skin. Blogger. She was a blogger. She was a blogger. That's right. She was a blogger.

And then she had an Insta account and basically Belle claimed that she cured her inoperable terminal cancers, multiple, by basically eating berries and flax seeds and with some positive mental attitude

and people believed her and she grew this huge business where she was making millions of dollars she brought out a cookbook she had an app

that was making loads and loads of money and then obviously as you can guess it transpired there was absolutely nothing wrong with her

and never had been and so her story just started falling apart. So when she brought out the book with Penguin, they hired a publicist to give her some media training and they have the video which they showed in the documentary and it's all about them asking her about her childhood and her story just kind of falls apart. So they're like, who's your doctor?

That's when it fell apart. That's when they started saying, this doesn't make any sense. Who's your doctor? And do you know who she said her doctor was called? Who? Dr. Phil. Oh, God.

And then she said... Go on. She said she had three heart surgeries, died on the operating table twice before being told by a medic she had an inoperable brain tumour and six months to live. That to me is just like...

But that's a serious... Only since you told me to watch Baby Ranger, you would just think that those people are just, like, unhelpful. But that's actually somebody with a serious mental health issue. So she's not, she hasn't got cancer, but she's got something. She's definitely got something. She said that Dr. Phil came to her house and had this, like, it was kind of this, they're wacky, like, one of these wacky doctors. Like, you know know doctor of fucking

alternative medicine so he's like a doctor of English or something but he has this machine that he brought around and kind of read her nervous energy

and said she'd but like he never existed they never found him she just but like how did she get to the point where it was obviously something that when

she said that she was sick that she got attention but she then people gave her she said that she she'd made all this money from her app and everything and when she said that she was sick that she got attention. But she then, people gave her, she said that she'd made all this money from her app and everything and then she said she was donating it to charity and then it never arrived in the charity accounts. I know.

And then they kind of tracked it back. It's actually really interesting because her mum I think was very absent and so she I think her brother, she said her brother was autistic. Her brother's on the documentary going I'm not autistic

stop so she lied about all these people but again they said when she was younger she was a real skater kid and a guy that she used to skate with did actually die God love him

he did die of a brain tumour so she saw I think the outpouring and the attention and everything and then she just got gradually worse

over the years but I you know I'm a big fan of those kind of stories, which sounds really dark, but I just find it fascinating, that human behaviour. There's loads of people, from what I can tell, who pretend they have cancer for money, sympathy, attention, etc, etc.

She was just really fucking good at it. And because she was so young and gorgeous looking, I suppose people wanted to believe. I wanted to help her, though. Well, wanted to believe that it was so young and gorgeous looking, I suppose people wanted to believe. But she did to help her though. Well, wanted to believe that it was possible. Oh my God, no. She didn't even take her makeup off.

She looked like she was selling vitamins. She made an absolute fortune. She was charged $240,000 for fraud. That's it. How much? $240,000. I mean, I suppose

that's a lot of money because that's probably everything she earned. No, it's not. She made millions. Did she? Yes. She made millions. Did she? Yes. She made millions.

And then she kind of disappeared in this kind of wave of shame. She was exiled. And then turned up. Now, I don't know the details. Obviously, I'm not big on deets. She turned up in some news report dressed as a Muslim woman in Africa somewhere

with a kind of an accent. So she was trying to be another scammer somewhere else. She's obviously not well. God, it's so awkward. But the documentary, it's a really good watch. I need to watch that. Do.

I'm always, like, look, you know, I'm always wary of people who are saying they cured, like, brain shamers by eating melons.

But what, like, have you ever been scammed? I remember being scammed. It was when I was with an ex and there was some guy going around he was offering everyone

this trip to New York he was working for a travel agent and you basically had to give him money and he was going to set you up in one of these Irish hotels

over in New York so the whole thing kind of like made sense but it was a really like good price trip and so he scammed us and loads of other people

and then ended up getting caught but not until like five or six years later. So he made like, he'd make a grand off each person, but imagine making that many enemies where you're not giving them their trip, but they've given you a grand.

It's weird, isn't it? Like, how do you justify, I suppose you don't justify it. I suppose they just don't care. I suppose they just lack kind of that empathetic side that the rest of us have, that they don't, they've no shame in it. But there's another, did you find it,

Jo? She was, she sort of adopted herself into an Ethiopian community. She popped up on the news in Australia and she was part of some Ethiopian community and she was wearing, like, the clothing and she had an Ethiopian accent.

Didn't Lindsay Lohan go through a phase of that where she went away somewhere and she, like, came back and she'd an Ethiopian accent. Didn't Lindsay Lohan go through a phase of that where she went away somewhere and she came back and she'd completely changed and had the accent and everything? Yeah, it's kind of rubbed off on her. What, the singer's ear or something? Musical ear.

I tell you what, I went in to get my ears cleaned. Yes. I was meant to pay 80 quid to get the ears cleaned and I thought if the ears are dirty, then I'm fine. There's no reason that I can't hear. So I went in to get them cleaned.

She looked at my ears. She goes, your ears are spotless. I saw them myself, completely spotless. Amazing news. Which I was very surprised by because I use earbuds, which you're not supposed to. And I was sure I'd shoved some down. Yeah. And then she was like, I'll give you an ear test.

Because I was like, I really can't hear, particularly when I'm in like loud places and someone's talking to me. She goes, I'll give you an ear test. Nothing wrong with ears. She said it's an attention issue. No way. She was like, some people come in with the same complaint

and she was like, it's actually an attention issue. Like you're not, you're not like paying attention. So like, I'm like, I can't. Finally a diagnosis.

You've got ADHD of the ears. You've got, you've perfect ear hearing. You've just got attention problems. And they've been telling me that since school. But I'm not surprised because I wasn't finished

with Belle Gibson, but we're going on to something else. Oh my God. That happens all the time. It does. I told you, when I sometimes,

I ask Benny a question and I just look at him and I start walking out the door and he's like, you just asked me a question. And I just, I'm like, that was just really boring

where you were going with that. So what did she say? Is there anything you can do? Start paying attention more. Start giving shit about other people. And I said, I'm sorry, I can't do that. You're going to have to give me hearing aids.

I refuse to start paying attention to anyone except myself. Yeah, I know. I wasn't sure whether to bring that up or not in the pod, but I thought, you know, they might ask me one day and then I'll be caught out. Well, I can. I wasn't sure whether to bring that up or not in the pod, but I thought, you know, they might ask me one day

and then I'll be caught out. Well, I can't say I'm surprised. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart had to film their love scenes

for Twilight and they had to retake because they started doing stuff for real and it was too steamy

for a PG-13. Hot and heavy. What's her name again? Kristen Stewart. Yeah, if I have my lesbian. She's kind of, she's turning something inside me. Back to Belle. Back to Belle.

Belle. See, I'd be interested to know where Belle's parents are. Like, how did they let that go so far? I'm sure you'd see. Her stepfather did come out and he said it was because she did a 60 Minutes Australia interview

and it was really hard to watch like it was like it was just so embarrassing because she just didn't have a leg to stand on and Was she trying was that when she was trying

to like get people to forgive her? She was trying to justify it by saying they were like do you have cancer? And she's like well I was led to believe that I do

They're like do you have any paperwork to prove like she just well, I was led to believe that I do. They're like, do you have any paperwork to prove? Like, she just didn't have a leg to stand on, but apparently she was paid 75 grand to do the interview, which she then obviously took off to Ethiopia. I'm sorry, but like, I've told you about Neil Wilson. Neil Wilson's my stepdad. Like, how did her parents not do anything?

Neil had us under, like, a tight leash. We used to have phones in our bedroom. I was telling Joanna this story, and she's like, that's not true. This is a leash we used to have phones in our bedroom i was telling joanne this story and she's like that's not true this is a true story we had phones in our bedroom and at seven o'clock on a saturday and sunday morning we'd wake up amber stairs vogue kitchen frederick cars and we'd all have to go out frederick would clean the cars i'd clean the kitchen and we'll clean the stairs and then he'd go alexander you're my favorite child nothing that was his own real child um but yeah we just got like neil would never like imagine i let t go out and tell everyone he had like a disease and just try and make money off not not all not

all parenting not all parenting is the same like Like, her father was dead. Her mother... Hello. Hello. Was absent. I know. I know. Sandra. Sandra only cares about Sandra.

Yeah. I don't know. I didn't turn out like Belle. I don't know. I don't know. I can't. I don't know. You're luckier as normal as you are.

I get told that often. That you're luckier as normal as you are. I get told that often. That you're luckier as normal as you are. Yeah. You know the way I tried to start a new part on the pod? And because you're 41 now and you complain, you'll have to find something. I was going to do that every week. I was going to do that every week.

Yeah. So about things that annoy me in the week. Now hear me out, right? This has annoyed me. The Daily Mail, I was trying not to be addicted to it, so I didn't want to download the app. Okay. So I was only looking at the Daily Mail on Safari,

and then they made it really difficult to try and look at it on Safari. It wasn't accessible to me, and I couldn't get my daily gossip. So now I've had to download the Daily Mail app, and I'm not happy about it, and I also see that they're charging a subscription for some stories that I want to read and I'm not paying the subscription. Okay. So that's what I'm annoyed about this week. You? Well, it's like, you need Ritalin or something. You were like wired today. Will I give you my other thing that annoyed me this week? Sure. Why not?

Do you know when you get an orange and you're like... I'm glad I could come up today and just receive your information. You know when you get an orange and you're like, oh, I'd love that orange, but I couldn't be arsed peeling it. And then you're like, fuck it, I'm going to go down the road. I'm going to peel the orange, even though I don't want to. So you peel the orange and then you taste it for a segment. It's like... And then you have to throw it out

because it's so rotten. I don't know if we're going to keep this segment, folk. I'm not going to lie. I don't know. I would like to make this a listener segment. Mail in on everything that pisses you off, please. Thank you. That's a fun idea. Listeners could mail in and tell us what's pissed them off.

Now, nothing real serious, by the way. I'm not complaining. We don't want to know anything about the government or anything like that. Like, just like, lighthearted things like oranges. Yeah. Yeah.

Nothing too serious. We're very much into lightness on this podcast. Yeah. Very light. What's the worst fruit? Yeah, that kind of thing. What's the worst fruit?

Papaya stinks. Well, that's it. Okay. Thank you very much for listening. I'm glad I got that off my chest. Yes.

I'm glad I got that off my literal chest. No breasts there at all. We'll have to put up the Magic Mike picture. Showed me, I just want to see it. Well, I deleted some that were just, and I had to to see it Well I deleted some

that were just and I had to delete the selfie I think they were bad I think I remember thinking they were really bad I had to delete the selfie because I actually

couldn't keep looking at it because it was too embarrassing Too bad yeah Oh yeah it's not our best That's it for this week Have a great weekend and we'll see you next Wednesday

See you next Wednesday