My Therapist Ghosted Me - Britney's Book & Rainbow Brite

Episode Date: October 27, 2023

In true MTGM style, Vogue was beaming in from southern Spain, whilst Joanne did the same from Tenerife. There's a lot to discuss, including Britney's book, Rainbow Brite, Vera Wang and Joanne's great big, shiny bags.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/MTGM is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! For tickets, merch and more, visit mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player Original Podcast. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams and Siobhan McNally. So me and Vogue are both on holidays Welcome to Ghosted Just coincidentally We're just both on holidays At the same time Joe what's your deal? Just outside Staines mate

At work Still in Staines Staines Staines mate Well Joanne actually I was Joanne had decided to go on holidays you went to

Tenerife and I do you know I nearly thought because my mum told me to I was going to book Tenerife because I just thought the weather

wouldn't be that amazing in Spain and it's not but then I didn't want you to feel like that you'd have to meet up with me if I went to Tenerife you know

so I thought that was kind of me I gave you the sun you know I wouldn't I wouldn't well actually fully enough so we're staying in this kind of you. I gave you the sun. You know I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Well, actually, fully enough, so we're staying in this kind of like, it's a really nice hotel

in Tenerife. And last night we met this couple, Irish woman, husband, Tenerifean. And she listens to The Pot. So it was lovely chatting to her.

And then her husband, he works for the tourist board in Tenerife. I had a couple of wines on board I don't know what promotional video I did but I did something so keep an eye out for me

come to Tenerife they say come to Tenerife he was just speaking Spanish and I was waving and he's like hola Licky the Dickie

on her holidays I'm proud to say I've sucked no dick in Tenerife I'm on my absolute fucking holidays thank you Licky the balls Hilaria Baldwin I like her the cucumber just like Hilaria like one of the locals mad

I'm not joking you there was a cucumber in my salad two days ago. The first thing I thought about was Hilaria Baldwin. And I can never say cucumber without saying cucumber. Ever. It's the way it should be said. Cock-cumber. Why have you turned me into a 13-year-old boy?

When this podcast started, I had shit to say. And now I'm just like, ha-ha, cock, you're ma. It's so embarrassing. Dick is always funny. And we were talking about not having sex. And I would like to... I will not exert myself in any way. You're dead right, Sean.

I'll tell you one thing. If I could detach my genitals and hand them to Alan, I absolutely fucking would. I'm here to relax. I'm here to relax. I would like to say I have not had sex on holidays either. Okay? Do you not feel like you just go feral on holidays?

Like, this is my hair now Okay Like that is not It's not wet That's what I've been Going around with my hair Like I just have a Permanent

This is my hair Sorry This is Permanent treatment In my hair You look like you've Collabed with Redken And you've literally

Had a treatment done Joanne my hair looks wet My hair Joanne does my hair looks wet. My hair. Joanne, does my... Okay, fine. If I take my hair down, let's see whose is more disgusting. Okay?

Right, Joe? Who's more disgusting? Who is more disgusting? It's a very difficult question to answer. Okay. I might have makeup on. Sorry. You look like you've been electrocuted once.

I look like I've been electrocuted 19 times. Okay, here's a better question. Who looks more like Nick Nelty's mugshot? Me or Joanne? Who looks more like Meatloaf? Mind just answering the question, Jo? There's an element of Heath Ledger as the Joker. Oh, thank you.

I find him very attractive. Which is not a bad thing. So I will take that. Folk, we have spent two years trying to make you relatable. Looking like you've had your hair professionally done and then talking about how bits you are on holidays. It's not going to work for me and Joe. It's not fair that you caught me on a day that I've done my makeup

because I had to do something. You do your makeup every day. No, I don't. Now, I will do one thing every day because I actually think people look at me and Theodore says things to me as well. He's like, what happened to your eyes? Because I have such bad circles under my eyes

that as soon as I wake up to go, even down to the gym, I'm really like, I've got some spots on the side of my face and bad circles and I'm like, I just have to cover them up

because I don't, I feel self-conscious. Speaking of self-conscious and again, no segue here. Do you know who really annoyed me like half an hour ago? Alan.

Well, now he annoys me all the time. But you'd want to see him. So I was like, this morning, Joe, Joe did. I'm going to go, Joe waxed my head all the time know I was in all the time but you'd want to see him so I was like this morning Joe did I'm going to go Joe waxed my head

all the time I was like I'm going to go for breakfast and he's like oh can I come and I was like well of course

you can come but like I I'm doing the pod so I just need to kind of figure out like topics and what we're going to talk about

and it's like so you can come but like I'm not you know I'm not up for like the chats because I mean between us I've nothing left to say to him we've been in each other's company for seven days straight literally

yesterday I was like so what did you what you got in your leaving cert I was like I have nothing else to ask this man oh you did business did you oh totally yeah and was it was it was a pass I or she did or did you do honors anyway I was like you can come to breakfast if you want but I'm working he's like no worries I'll just tag along I was like no worries got down to breakfast I have the headphones in

and he goes do you know what I'm going to head back but you know when someone has a real like attitude about it and I was like oh okay

and he goes and you know the massage later cancel that I'm not going and I was like oh okay and he's like and the facial cancel that

I was like oh sorry is this a tantra? Are you throwing a tanty? Oh, here he comes. Tanty. Thank you so much. That's gorgeous.

Thank you so much. Give us the fucking tantra. Look at the little. See you later, giant baby. Out, out, out. Anyway, sorry, Vogue. Starts kicking off. I have a feeling

Joanne Might be Slightly in the wrong Here when she just said that Excuse me You called him a child And you shoot him Out of the room

Oh He has thrown Three tantrums Like I My own child I was like You came down here Knowing I was not up

For chats And I was like I'm working And he goes Are you calling He goes Are you working Are you talking about the podcast

Excuse me He sounds like one of our trolls What do you even do What do you even do What do you even do No Alan That's the worst thing What do you even do

I was saying to Vogue Vogue's getting that years Like years Yeah What do you even do But I was saying to Vogue, Vogue's getting that years, like years. Yeah. What does she even do? But I'm starting to get it now. So I'm absolutely thrilled. It means that I'm kind of

elevated professionally. I'm thrilled. Yeah, it makes me feel better about myself because I have to question myself, well, what do I do? It's a leveler. Yeah.

Now, Spenny's kind of threw, Spenny threw a wobbler at me this morning. We're about to do mine and Spenny's pod, right? And Emma was late because her dog was sick or something

I thought cut that she's not plugging that chick go on we were late for our fantastic pod

anyway so I'm sitting outside I was like I'll just utilise the time I'll do a quick check in video

for my Flexi app because there's a five week programme going if anyone would like to join us you can join whenever you want you are shameless

and brazen and that is why you love me If anyone would like to join us, you can join whenever you want. You are shameless and brazen. And that is why you love me. Seven minutes since she offered a swipe up code, Jo. Hang on, hang on. Joanne, I never leave you out. Hang on. What am I promoting?

Is the merch. Oh, hello. Oh my God. It is the best bag in the world Sorry And like thank you And I appreciate that Green inside And I'm not even joking

Lime green Yeah inside Take it on the plane It's like you have a carry on You're taking on 20 kgs And a fucking handbag Yes You're welcome

Yeah I know I meant to thank you for that And like honestly I had so That shit was filled to the brim. I put all my sandals in there. You could literally traffic a person in that thing

and Erlingus wouldn't cop. It's that big. I brought Winston and Bertie on holidays. They came in the bag. I brought my mother and her girlfriends. Oh my God. Fifteen women in that bag.

Not a beep. I said, I said, girls, shut the fuck up. You're going to Tenerife for free. And I put them in the overhead compartment and no one even noticed. Well, what I will say to you, I have taken my brother, his kids and his wife

and I didn't even put them in the overhead. I just kicked them onto the front, the seat in front of me. It fits onto the seat in front. It fits onto the seat. And Full of stuff It fits under the seat And this isn't This isn't Like let's be clear here

If this wasn't a bag That I had invested A lot of money in To sell Oh sorry Did I show you the video My mum's like I've had it done

So that she can wear it Did I show you this Oh did she change the bag Oh no She got it taken Made smaller Yeah she had it done She's like I've had it done So that she can wear it Did I tell you this? Oh did she change the Oh no She could have taken Made it smaller Yeah she had it done She's like

I've made it wearable Did I not tell you She bought it to a seamstress And in inverted commas Made it wearable Hold on I just love your mum so much She couldn't give an

Absolute bollocks Couldn't give a shit She's like I've made it wearable I'll keep looking You keep chatting there about To Joe So I was telling you The story anyway So I was going to She couldn't give an absolute bollocks. Couldn't give a shit. She's like, I've made it wearable. I'll keep looking. You keep chatting there about jokes. So I was telling you the story anyway.

So I was going outside. I was like, I'll take this three minutes to do my flexi check-in. And I was three minutes, 17 seconds. And Spenny threw a fucking wobbler at me just before we did the pod. So I actually had to walk in. I had to slam the door to get out of some some of that like terrible anger I felt but like he's in his knot with me and now I've decided

I'm not talking to him for the rest of the holiday unless he says sorry my head is racked with them like I was like it's just they're like giant fucking babies

I was like I'm sorry did I take my eyes off you for a second I'm sorry did you not get attention for seven seconds baby Alan I was like I'm sorry

do you need to be burped or breastfed and of course he said I'd like to be breastfed I mean I was like, I'm sorry, do you need to be burped or breastfed? And of course he said, I'd like to be breastfed. I mean, I was like, T-shirt, fine. There's a local fish in my name on us. I'll tell you what,

I'm on my holidays and it's raining outside and I'm cold. Bad choice on your part So I'm in Tannerife What else? Casual And there's a child At the pool

And like you know And I know That obviously My obsession with Gigi Runs deep And I Can't wait to Bring her into drag and wait to see. Like, she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

She's like a Faberge egg in a nappy. She's just stunning. Yeah. She doesn't wear nappies, but yeah. Whatever. Whatever. Is she just pissing? Where is she pissing in?

In the toilet? Fair play to her. She's smart as well. She's in the shower. She'll always piss in the shower. And she's smart, which I love about her. She's smart as well. She'll always piss in the shower. And she's smart, which I love about her. She knows where to go.

Yeah. But there's a child in this resort and when I say I cannot stop looking at her, she is the most stunning thing. I'd love to put her and Gigi in a ring.

Bare knuckle boxing to see who's the cuter baby. Like, I've never seen I think her mother's Welsh Alan's like Do you want to stop Making me look at the child It's not

It's not right Obviously Alan can't look at her I can't Day in day out The creepy couple by the pool Staring at the kids They know You see the problem

With the woman They know I'm not going to Try and traffic her It's just like I'm just admiring her I've never seen anything No I'm sorry This to try and traffic her it's just like I'm just admiring her I've never seen anything no I'm sorry this new kid is a blow-in right

and this kid wouldn't like you and doesn't even wear high heels have you seen that kid in high heels well no she's we haven't brought her into drag yet but I'm convinced once her

mom leaves her alone again for seven seconds she's gone in the fucking handbag and we're gonna leg it back on the first Ryan Airfly she looks like rainbow bright I have never

seen a more beautiful child she has these do you know obviously you probably know and Jo you should know is she just trying to piss me off on this podcast she's trying to offend me

Vogue I swear to God like even you could not dispute the beauty of this child she's wearing these new fangled armbands so back in my day

armbands were like luminous pillows that you like but now they're kind of like discs they're like frisbees on your arm did you know this

things have moved on so Rainbow Brite she's in the same pool as me and she has her eyes closed and she's spinning herself around oh my god

like I've never seen honestly okay well Gigi Gigi floats on her back and sucks her thumb at the same time okay with her eyes closed does she indeed

Gigi has started this new thing right where she's like a footballer and she just keeps throwing she keeps throwing herself on the ground

like a footballer and pretending she's hurt herself and she got a new Elsa Barbie yesterday did she yeah Rainbow said you're a dick by the way

and she doesn't like you Rainbow listens to tech now and the mom said that you're the weird creepy couple by the pool and she's worried because she's reported you to security

I cannot dispute that, that is. That is actually correct. Alan's like fucking drunk. Will you stop? And so I was thinking about you as a mother yourself, as a mother. Yeah, whatever, yeah. If I go up to the mother of Rainbow

and be like, your child is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. She's the image of Rainbow Bright. Would you appreciate that or is that too much? I don ever seen she's the image of Rainbow Bright would you appreciate that or is that too much I don't know who Rainbow Bright is is she a mind of a pony

what you don't know who Rainbow Bright is I used to watch Farthing with Friends that's all I watched I didn't watch anything else Rainbow

let's just all have a quick Google there because Rainbow Bright was like the share of the 80s basically oh no I don't remember her no I didn't have any no one believes you're 27.

You don't need to keep up this charade. Oh, that was, I see why vintage doll, you see, that's before my time. What a little bitch. 19, 1983, before my day.

You're like, what's the show Friends? That was before my time. Oh, wow. Welcome back. Did we have an ad break? We actually fell off the planet there because laptops are breaking and anyway, who cares?

Vogue. Vogue. And kind of Joe. I need, I want to speak about Britney Spears immediately Oh my god

actually so you've downloaded her book now I need the hard copy I've ordered it Oh really oh you're going to read with your eyes well I'm on holidays

so I'm reading with my ears Okay Now so I have hearing problems so I don't like listening to headphones You do You have seven ears

everyone knows it no one says it. That's what your mouth is. We call it a mouth but it's actually an extra little ear. Just hanging off there. Hanging off. I got a mail from someone recently. Did I bring that up in the pod where it was literally like I think you're really pretty but please cut that fucking

wart off your face. I thought I know so and then I looked at the message and do you know what I did nothing because I just don't care no I didn't block

maybe I said maybe I said that I really liked it because I do really like my mole and for those who don't like it I hate to tell you the bad news I colour it in darker

so it's more noticeable also Vogue it's not this is what I've learned now that I'm Bath and Rounds with Britney Spears

having listened to three chapters of her book. No one else's life is any of your fucking business. If Vogue wants to keep that ear on her face, she will.

And it's none of your fucking business. If Joe wants to keep that stupid haircut, he will. It's no one's fucking business. Thank you.

I agree. I absolutely agree. Now that we've covered that tell us oh so Brittany so download the book and obviously because I'm on holidays

with Alan is it her reading to you no and do you know what it's Michelle Williams not of Destiny's Child the other Michelle Williams oh yeah

and I will say I I miss Brittany not reading it it like it should

I feel like it should be Brittany now Michelle I think is trying to kind of do kind of southern draw but it's not really the same however why did Brittany

just not do it well so this is what these are my I'm not going to say hot takes we call them tepid takes because we don't have any inside information and we're not that hot.

My tepid takes are, Brittany's not well. We know that. We know. Like everyone knows. We know. There's like, we don't know what the crack is. There's, I think, some addiction issues there, whatever. But you know what I've realized?

It's none of our fucking business. This is what I've learned. She couldn't, she doesn't, she's not, she doesn't want to read her own book. She says she finds it triggering because she's been through some awful shit, which she has been. It's only five hours long in the Audible.

Like, Britney's book should be a year long. Like, I should be listening to it through Christmas and New Year's and not even notice that happened. Like, that's what a life she has led. So it's so cut back. There's a lot of stuff not being said

and not being discussed and that's fine. It's her own business. She has to pay Kevin Federline 20k a month in fucking child support. Still.

By the way the kids are over 18 and he's still taking that money off her. So I understand. What a bum skag. Can you say that? A bum skag. A bum skag. I don't know. Check with a bum skag can you say that a bum skag

a bum skag I don't know check with the bum skag community Jo is that okay oh we talked we talked about this on the podcast

recently Chinese whispers you can't say check if you can say bum skag Jo check with the check with the bumming community

Joanne Joanne we are members of the bumming community Joanne Joanne We are members of the bumming community No Vogue No no no no We are members of the Skag community Who get bummed on occasion Listen to me

That doesn't put us in a position Get bummed We get bummed. What? I bummed you once, Vogue, and you haven't fucking stopped about it. And it was an accident. It was dark.

I just want to be bummed again. Please. Winston was barking. I didn't know what was happening. And yeah, okay, I bummed you. Like, Jesus Christ. Get over yourself. You're not that hot

anyway speaking of bumming and I made a decision and then I slipped Joe in because I was tired I like the relief of a smaller penis I said when Joe took over I said when are you going to put it in and realise he was already in

he was in which brings me back to Britney yes listen we spoke about Kevin Frederick before on the pod

and he actually wanted to increase his payments from 20 grand a month to 40 grand and the judge told him to fuck off Kevin Bumskag

we're not a fan and he's moving those two anyway look I'm three chapters in Alan's fucking kicking off because I don't know

he wants me to just look at him in silence all day I don't know what he wants Alan doesn't read so it's a problem Gavin Holder is with him because he won't even

I tried to get him do you want a colouring book or something he won't do anything so anyway downloaded the book and I was like look I'm reading't even I tried to get him do you want a colouring book or something he won't do anything so anyway downloaded the book and I was like look I'm reading

he was kicking off at Britney so now and obviously by the time this comes out I'll have listened to Britney he was getting really annoyed so now I've told him

that I'm I've started listening to the pod and so I have to and he believes that shit of course he does I'm like mummy's working okay

sorry I'm just saying my lovely baby's pen brought me coffee was that an apology? the child brought a coffee did he? was that a sorry? I don't know

I'll be waiting for that later okay I'll wait for yours too there we are game on bitches game on Spencer has not read a book I'll be waiting for that later. Okay, I'll wait for yours too. Game on, bitches. Game on. Spencer has not read a book, he said, since he's left school, right? And he framed this...

Why is he so proud about it? Adam says it like he's won an Oscar. He's like, I don't read. He found a Wim Hof book beside my bed. Your man, he goes in the cold water. A Wim Hof, he's the man who goes in the cold water. And he found it. And he's like delighted with himself that he's read the book in two days.

Now, he read the book the entire time on the plane. Keep in mind, we've got three kids on the plane. Who do you think had the least enjoyable plane journey? What the fuck did he do? Not me. You. Spenny. And now he won't stop telling me all about the book.

He stopped me in the middle of writing an email yesterday. He said, that can wait. I want to read you an extract from the book. And I was like, but that can also wait. Now I'm obsessed with Cold Waters now. And we are literary, I mean,

giants. Look at us. Will I show you a book I'm reading? James Joyce. James Joyce. And you are, Jo,

look at me, our little Margaret Atwood. You're Anna Barry. Anne Barry Barry Anne Barry Anne Barry where's the book I'm reading hang on

like you'd want to see like Alan's fucking like you won't even read the menu oh my god what do you want Alan as soon as I get to a hotel room I read a menu

I love it he is this is what I'm reading the list how nice is that cover isn't that cover lovely look at us I know but I don't like I actually don't like a hard cover? Isn't that cover lovely?

I know, but I don't like, I actually don't like a hard cover. I wouldn't usually take it away from me, but I've been threatening to read this book for a while now.

Good book so far. All right, Sandra. Sandra flies through the books. So I've had to lie and say that I'm listening to the pod or that I'm approving voiceovers and stuff.

But I will tell you this. These are my, these are my takeaways and I'm only a couple of and stuff. But I will tell you this. These are my takeaways and I'm only a couple of chapters in. The book is very short. It's not the Britney, it's not the memoir that the old Britney would have written.

She's got some shit going on. We know that. But it's not, this is my takeaway. It's none of our business anymore. Just fucking let her live. It's none of our business. Like, I let her live. It's none of our business. Like, I don't know what's going on with her.

I know, but I know that as well, but I don't understand why she, is this her trying to get out her truth and that's why she's written the book? But the problem is people will now make it their business because she's written a book and she's released it. So they feel like they have privy to more information about her. Yes, but she hasn't, it's

very clear to me, and I guess I'm kind of completely contradicting myself now saying it's none of my business and now I'm about to suggest what I think is wrong but it's clear to me from the book that there is she's trying to get her truth out but she's not, she's not really

like, there's like huge huge jumps, like one minute she's not, she's not really. Like there's like huge, huge jumps. Like one minute she's in her hometown and then she's at the MTV Awards. There's, there's not a huge amount of explanation. There's not a, there's, do you know what it is? There's not a huge amount of detail, which actually I appreciate because I told you I tried to, I gave up on Grace Jones's book because five chapters in she was still in the fucking room. So I appreciate stories running along, but it's too quick. It's like you're missing huge chunks of time.

She just seems like a really sweet person who could sing and was hot and just had this great career. Like she's so complimentary of like Mariah Carey and Madonna. And she's talking about them, like fangirling out with them

and it's actually really sweet and tell me about if you're lucky you can't sing or you'd be on crack by now I just think that

she's probably here's my takeaway from it and I know nothing about it I feel like she's probably been failed by a lot of people in her life I think like pushing your kid to that extent

at a really young age isn't fair she was this really like they were from the south I don't know what that means she just keeps talking about it so I guess

I feel like it's relevant who loved she was a bit of a show pony no more than ourselves and she had chapter one she's like

my father was a vicious alcoholic I'm like oh she's out for revenge she's like he was a mean alcoholic she feels you're so right folk she feels completely failed she's like he was a mean alcoholic she feels complete you're you're so right Vogue

she feels completely failed she's like I made all you fuckers money loads of money and the second I fell off the tracks you took all my freedoms away from me while you live in the house that I paid for and she's bitter and she's absolutely justified in her bitterness. She doesn't deny that there's something going on with her but she's like there's other stars who have fallen victim to addiction

all that stuff. No one took their freedoms away from them. I know. I understand of course and they're really worried about her

of course and they should be and I think her father probably saved her life in a way, maybe. I think she was circling the plug hole. I know, but I would say people did at the time, even though like they definitely took advantage of her. I'd say certain aspects of it were thinking that they were doing what they thought was right, because I would think that that is a really odd situation

to be in. Like you wouldn't know what's the right thing to do. It's because she was so unwell. And she went through such a bad mental breakdown. That like. You're like. What do you do? There's no like. Proper way to go about it. They probably just got on people.

On board that they thought would help. I think her angle is. And I'm only like a couple of chapters in. The book is very short. And also I would say. It's. She. She's so far.

And I don't think she does reference the addiction stuff because she's obviously not out of it so when you've been through something and you're out the other side you're like always talking about it because it's a way of kind of processing it and you're distancing yourself from all the secretiveness of when you were in it and you want to be very public about it and she's not which means she's not out of whatever she is going through she's still in it so she's

not saying oh in that time that I was like she's not saying that my vibe I get from her is that she's like yeah

I did fall off the face of the earth but I was entitled to do it and I should have been let I should have been let do it 100% that's a great line she should

you can go and do whatever you want. If you want time off from anything, take time away. Like more than that. I think she, I think her argument is, yeah, I lost my mind, but I should have been entitled. I was entitled to lose it. I think that's her angle. I think she's like, don't interfere. Like, don't tell me I can't lose my mind.

I'm entitled to lose it my mind has been paying for all your shit for years that's the vibe I got Now Joanne you know that we love things for keeping young

I just want to say that I've started doing ice baths with Svenny I know I was slagging off his Wim Hof but I have been doing Joanne I'm going to get you

to do them with me I swear to God No I don't like being cold I don't like being cold the first time I went in I only went into my waist yesterday I went from going to my waist

to going fully to my neck for a whole minute and I swear to god my skin felt tighter like I'm more recovered you're doing it come on what's next it is really exhilarating I will shove you into my freezer Joe is my back

I'm going to pretend to you that there's a frozen daiquiri in the freezer and I'm going to lock you in that's what I'm going to do and I'm going to lock you in for 10 minutes I'll go in and get a

spud up in that and not fucking get into an ice bath because I like life I feel like honestly my skin felt so tight after I was putting my face in it because like when I felt

tight skin on my body I was like I want to tight skin my face so that's what I was doing but what is this what like when I felt tight skin on my body, I was like, I want to tight skin my face. So that's what I was doing. But what is this? What is this? So that is the kind of, this is the kind of stuff

that I think keeps your body youthful and lovely and like feeling better about yourself. Yeah. And then I read an article about basically, you know,

the way some people look like vampires, which means they simply don't age, like Keanu Reeves being one of them. Vera Wang, another, but Veraves being one of them Vera Wang another but Vera Wang

did you read it she let me down Vera Wang says McDonald's and Dunkin Donuts keep her young nothing annoys me more than teeny tiny women

pretending like look it's dodgy because maybe she's not well we have to be respectful

but Vogue you know nothing annoys me more than teeny tiny women pretending they survive on Domino's it drives me fucking mental so here she's saying

I do eat McDonald's I order it every day like two weeks on it and then I'll change yeah yeah yeah she said fries and don't is that a sachet of ketchup

she's getting and a straw she's getting the And a straw. She's getting the kiddies little fruit bag. And then she said, she credits hard work along with nine hours of sleep and a few cheeky vodka cocktails

to keeping her youthful too. There is no way sugar and McDonald's keeps you young. I want her, right? She might look young on the outside, but go and have tests, that test, if you're young on the outside but go and have tests that test if

you're young on the inside it drives me mad and Jo you should be you should be you should be angry about this as well you have a daughter Jo lean in listen up teeny tiny women of that generation of me and Vogue well obviously my generation Vogue doesn't know who Friends are I'm yeah I love the much younger I understand I understand you're worried what's Twilight

I've never heard of it yeah she'll have to catch up on Netflix you know what I'm trying to say we were raised to be the tinier you were the more important you were.

Like that was what it was. And it really annoys me. And me and Val were spoken about. We speak about this loads. There's an Instagram account going, you didn't really eat that. Nothing annoys me more. Like, listen, I was also deranged. I get it.

But like, don't pretend you're eating loads when you're not. It really annoys me. Like I say, maybe Vera Wang is having a fucking satay ketchup and a coffee. I don't know. But it's just... I've heard McDonald's coffee is very nice, actually. It's actually really, really good. I hate this culture of being really tiny

and kind of being really smug and braggy about all the shit that you eat. I absolutely hate it it was like it's not it's more so for me like I just feel like there's such an emphasis

put on women's age even if it's true and how they look and like if you're wrinkled and like I even found myself being like oh god look at my smile lines like who actually gives a shit

if you've got smile lines and like oh god someone sent me a text and she was like oh god I'm turning 40 and if you've got smile lines and like oh god someone sent me a text and she was like oh god i'm turning 40 and like you've changed my mind about like turning 40 i just think that like i feel lucky that i'm gonna be able to say that you're alive yeah your laugh your laugh lines are because you've had a fucking good time i've had such a laugh and a half exactly and i just feel like yeah that's just like that's just come on

it doesn't matter and do you know what do you know what the aging thing is a separate thing for me the weight thing even if

Xavier Wang is an exception to science and physics and eats McDonald's every day and is still a size 6 don't fucking make

don't make it your thing like don't don't mess with a't make it your thing like don't don't mess with the load of young girls heads going hold on why can't I eat

McDonald's and be that like don't go on about I know I think there's another I'll be honest I haven't read I haven't read the articles that it could be

I mean poor Vera I know poor Vera and if you know she wants to make our costumes for the three arenas, so be it.

That's completely fine. But there was another woman, she's a, there's a woman who's 105 and she said that she has Marmite for breakfast and Sherry for bed and that's the key to a long life. Yeah, Grant. It just really annoys me. Do you find it triggering? I don't believe in triggers. Do you know what I mean?

I don't, like, triggering as a term, like, I don't believe in triggers. Do you know what I mean? I don't, like triggering as a term, like I don't believe in trigger warnings. I'm like, I was going to say because it's really funny, do you know what Vogue said to me? She goes, I saw trigger warning and trigger warning to me just means clicking faster. Look at it now, hurry up, get in there. Honestly, as soon

as I see it, I'm like, oh, that's for me. And like then I immediately regret it and I'm like, well now I'm annoyed about that. Trigger warnings. It's my own fault. I read this thing about trigger warnings. Trigger warnings started as for sexual assault content and then kind of seeped into like,

oh, sorry if you're allergic to pineapples. Trigger warning, here's a pineapple. So that's the shit that I don't agree with. I think it's gone too far. Do you want a little upper note? You even sent this to the pod. I'd love an upper. An upper.

Here's an upper for both of you. So almost half of women believe they're entering their confidence era once they hit the age of 38. And I'm 38 and I couldn't be feeling like better about life I'm really happy I it's probably the it's probably the ice baths I'm not sure but like I just feel like you get to this age and you're like you know what fuck it like I don't really care that much what other people think of me oh and I'm glad that I decided

to keep the wart on my face not Not forgetting that. Okay. Yeah. 100%. I will say there was a meme that I saw recently and I was like, I could write a whole standup show about it as a jumping off point. The older you get, the less you give a shit about going outside like an ugly towel. And I was like, nothing has spoken to me more. I couldn't give a fuck.

On holidays at Allen, I said, we're here like nine days in. And I was like I'm gonna put mascara on he was like oh wow that'd be

really cool and I was like no your reaction is maybe not want to put it on now fuck you this is my face if you're not happy with it

good luck maybe I won't wear concealer for my bags under my eyes tomorrow I don't know oh like there was no concealer I was like I'll literally paint the hair on my eyes,

potentially for dinner. And then his reaction was so pathetically positive. I was like, you're not getting it now. My eyes will be going to dinner bald. I want to read my most spoofiest thing that I read, a headline this week, right? Because we're going to have... It's a beer wine. I really... She's talking McDonald's every day. No, I want to bring the most spoofiest thing that I read a headline this week, right? Cause we're going to have,

I want, I really, no, I want to bring the spoofer back, but this is a spoofy headline, right? Jennifer Lopez looks displeased as Ben Affleck takes her to McDonald's for the fourth time in a month. Do you ever see,

I, I saw a video of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck and he basically there's a pap filming what is going on with them it's really weird there's a pap

filming them right I think my mum sent it to me on Instagram and like he walks her over with a real big scowl on his face he's probably Sandra

filming them he gets her in the car and then he like slams the door did you see that it's like there's like slams the door. Did you see that? It's like there's literally a pap filming you. Why are you doing that? Yeah, he's, he just

feels like a bit of a moun. A fucking moody bastard. Have you seen, I love the way this episode is just about us talking about memes. Have you seen the meme with Mariah? Obviously Mariah owns Christmas. She's getting defrosted now getting ready and Jennifer Lopez did a version of like I don't know Santa jingle bell some shit didn't take off and there's a meme where Mariah is like giggling they're like oh Mariah looking

at JLo tuner they have a notorious I say feud probably not feud, but they are putting competition together, but it's not a competition because it's obviously, you know, Mariah. You can't beat Mariah. You'll never beat her. Michael Bublé is more down front of Mariah and he owns Christmas, but like she properly owns Christmas.

It must be nice for Michael Bublé that he only has to work one month of the whole year. Like that's the job I want. Yeah, and then he goes back into the freezer. Yeah. He's like Santa. Him and Santa have the same job. Yeah.

The Easter Bunny works harder than Michael Bublé. Michael Bublé just fuck off. And with that, we are going to say goodbye to this week's episode. Thank you all very much for listening. I've got no. I've got no. Bye.