My Therapist Ghosted Me - Canada, Candles & Climate Change Pumpkins

Episode Date: October 6, 2023

Joanne continues to jump around the timezones and this week she's everywhere from Ottawa to the infamous Winnipeg. Plus, Cher continues to be iconic and fahsion shows continue to be up their own hole. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/MTGM is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! For tickets, merch and more, visit mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player Original Podcast. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally. Listen to how thick I am It can't be worse than me Go on I'm gonna ask you Okay And don't feel bad

There's no There's no wrong answer Well there is But can you name And Jo you can also pitch in Can you name the capital of Canada? Calgary? No.

Quebec? No. Toronto? No. Montreal? No. What's the first letter? And cut the rest out, Jo.

Oh. Ontario? Nope. Okay, no. No. Okay, before we embarrass ourselves Any further Ottawa I did a show

In Ottawa Two days ago Okay My tour manager Kevin Was like Ottawa And he's like We're going to Ottawa tomorrow That's the capital

And I was like Excuse me He's like yeah Ottawa's the capital of Canada And I was like I don't think it is Are you sure about that He's like yeah I'm Canadian

I was like oh So Ottawa Ottawa is the capital of Canada And I hadn't a clue How embarrassing It's not that embarrassing Because Joe and I Are highly intelligent

As you know And I would have I only didn't say Toronto first Because I was like Right it's a trick question It's too obvious I know It's too obvious to be Toronto

So then I was I was waiting to go on And I was saying to So I was saying to Kevin Are you sure? And he's like Yes And I was I was waiting to go on And I was saying to So I was saying to Kevin Are you sure? And he's like Yes And I was like

Well nobody knows that And he's like Loads of people know what you're on And I was like fine But When I was going on I was like Well I take the piss

And say I thought Toronto was the capital And everyone collected me backstage Like no They will not like that Can we apologise to Canada then? It's so bad I know Can I apologise? Can to Canada then? It's so bad I know Can I apologise?

Can I say sorry? It's terrible isn't it? I'm not I'm waiting for an apology From Canada Excuse me Because nobody knows Nobody knows

That Ottawa's the capital I will have an apology In writing From Justin Justin Trudeau I would go too heavy on it now Yeah you've got to You've got to say sorry

I would go too heavy Sorry Justin Trudeau I'm waiting for the letter. I haven't seen Justin once, to be honest, which is highly... And considering I was in Ottawa,

which is like where all the parliamentary people are, I was like, Justin's bound to come here. I'd say he looks like he's up for a good time. Not a sniff of him. Who cares about any of that?

Who cares? Because I have waited since Friday to find out this information like everybody else on the pod because we save it for the pod. What happened? Why did you miss your flight?

We want to know everything. Oh, yes. Of course. Okay. So, I mean, obviously, it's the classic free bar the night before an early flight situation. Basically, I was filming something.

There was a wrap party. I don't know. Sometimes it's, you know, we've always spoken before. Sometimes you just, there's a blowout in your, there's a blowout kind of bubbling in your system. And you can kind of keep the lid on it for a while. And then it just kind of blows. So the blowout blew on the Friday night.

The wheels fell off. The wheels fell off. Did they all fall off? Well, my flight was at 8am and I was like, oh, it's grand because I very rarely miss flights. You just get up. It's grand, I just won't go to bed.

I just came. Oh, I did go to bed. That was the problem. I would have been better if I hadn't, to be honest. Because you would have had to have left your hotel at 5am. Why didn't you just not go to bed I just came oh I did go to bed that was the problem I would have been better if I hadn't to be honest because you would have had to have left your hotel at 5am why didn't you

just not go to bed because I wasn't out that late like it wasn't I'd say I was in bed by 11 12 do you mind

can we just can we amp up this story a bit for the pod I know I'm sorry it's really boring I know I was because the car

collected me from the studio at 12 so I was in bed at like half 12 but I was in bed at like Half 12 But I just overdid it And I woke up at

I feel like I was at 8 I woke up at 6.45 With someone banging on my hotel room door Saying there's a car outside And I Was like Ah it's grand I'll just get the next one

Do you know It's not a fucking bus Do you know You're just not thinking straight Anyway All panic All hell broke loose And But it actually worked out okay Because I got at the next one do you know it's not a fucking bus Joanne you're just not thinking straight anyway all panic all hell broke loose and

but it actually worked out okay because I got I got to sleep it off and I got a later flight which got me

to the venue an hour before the show it was all very Annika Rice that's actually quite cool why would you not have gotten that flight in the first place

actually well it was kind of you know if they were like you know If it was delayed by any chance Also the traffic in Toronto is quite bad Coming in from the airport To have the day would have been nice But it was tight

It was tight but I made it I had a great show in Toronto I loved the room, it looked like the Gaiety It was amazing One of my favourite shows ever actually I'm dying to go to Toronto I told you the Canadians are sound they're known for being sound people

and they're very chilled very chilled out fully sound the venue was sound the staff were sound nothing was too big a deal because they knew I was coming straight from the plane

and like I woke up and was then like kind of putting on my jumpsuit they had little like kind of hospitality bells with like toothpaste and wash mouth. And the hangover was hitting hard and strong. So I was like, I was vomiting before I went on. They had to put a book up beside the stage.

Blah, blah, blah. Oh, Joanne. I fucked it. I know, I fucked it. Were you drinking cans of wine again? What happened? Do you know what? I honestly couldn't tell you.

One of those situations where It just The hangover just gets you Just gets you That's my situation Every single time I drink That's why I have to like

Stop myself from drinking So when you wake up And I see she's on the peloton I actually feel like shooting you Because I'm like How are you on the peloton? Get off the peloton Oh yeah

I can't Because I I don't really get hangovers that bad. Usually, I tend to escape. But, what to say? I did not escape this one. Oh. I did myself no favours. I let myself down.

I was very disappointed in myself. I was stressing people out. However, did I make it on time? I did. And have I learned a lesson? Not really. Well, I know you didn't learn a lesson. Because I had a great time.

I had a really good show. I loved it. So no lessons were learned. How many nights did you do there in Toronto? One. Just one, sadly. Oh, that is sad. I know.

You'll take me to Toronto. You'll take me to Toronto. Where did you squeeze two out of? Vancouver. That's Vancouver I would have thought That was the capital as well What

Ottawa I cannot apologise enough The Irish Embassy Is in Ottawa So there was loads Well not loads There was like one diplomat Bureaucratic dude

In the front row It was an older audience In Ottawa And I was a bit I was a bit like Oh god how is this going to go Actually I really enjoyed that too I'm having a really good time

I warned you about the Canadians I'm having a really good time. I warned you about the Canadians. I told you. I went out. Because it was an older audience, I looked around and said, I'm just letting you know, my name is Joanne McNally.

I said, I'm disgusting. You know it now. So don't, you can't be getting pissed off halfway through the show. I've told you now. I've caveated it. I'm gross. Buckle up, let's go.

And no one left. I wish you had done that before I forced you to do that gig in Scotland at Spencer's dinner table dinner party oh my god and I was like she's gonna be so funny and then I was like oh shit oh shit oh shit I still have PTSD from that worst gig of my life PTSD and a lovely coat and a lovely jacket well I had my birthday and I too let myself down but in private go on

do you know I think this is I remember having a not nice birthday last year and I tried to look into my diary as to why it wasn't nice

and I actually can't remember I think Spenny because Spenny Spenny does a really good job of like fucking my birthday up like so bad

and I think that he had done that there's my auntie ringing me from Vancouver as we speak she's in no Toronto she's in Toronto sorry she has a place in Toronto

well I'm in Winnipeg oh sorry just to interrupt now that I'm here I'm finally I'm being respectful enough that I know it's not I know it's called Winnipeg

FYI Winnipeg Winnipeg tell you this it's actually not I know it's called Winnipeg FYI Winnipeg Winnipeg tell you this it's actually not that bad I have promoted Winnipeg so much I'm doing

they've moved me up I'm doing an arena I'm fucking huge here now doing two nights yeah huge hit they're giving me the keys to the city

I wonder if she's going to repost any stories from tonight I'm the mayor of Winnebago Winnebago's now sold more than Ottawa has stop oh my god

Winnebago's going to do well yeah they said it's not bad at all now well it is it's not like you know but it is now it's really healthy looks good

anyway so I had my birthday and you're very pep you're very aggressive today Vogue I did that podcast with those lovely girls the Life Uncut girls from Australia yeah um so I did that podcast with them this morning she was like we were gonna reschedule because you seemed quite frantic and I was like no I think I'm always frantic. Yeah. That's the coolest. That's the vibe. That's the vogue buzz. I'd forgotten the time.

Hadn't put it in my diary. Stupid idiot. And so I did the pod at seven o'clock this morning. I was like, it doesn't matter. I'm going to be up at six anyway because my kids are mean. Probably suits them down to the ground. Why did they think you were frantic? What were you doing?

I was just like, oh my God, I totally forgot about it. I'm really sorry. You know when you really get into being apologetic Because it had been booked in for ages And I never forget stuff like that So I hate like messing around with people Anyway sorry back to my birthday again We went down to this little house down in They're called Hillside Hangouts

I'd never been there before We were meant to go Glastonbury Didn't go Glastonbury Went to this house Had the nicest time I organised absolutely everything no one organized jack shit for me right you want to hear about the cake what happened with the cake yeah so on your birthday you like to be sung happy birthday to am I right yes I am right yeah so I brought the cake down

the cake that I had ordered happy birthday Voguey and um I was just kind of hanging around hoping somebody would pop a few candles in, you know? I was like, I don't want to, I'm not doing the candles myself. Don't say they didn't put the candles in. Not a fucking single person. There was 11 people there. Nobody put the candles. And I was like, I'm already pathetic that I ordered the cake for myself.

So I dragged the cake down to the Cotswolds. And then I dragged the cake back from the Cotswolds and then I dragged the cake back from the Cotswolds nobody ate the cake and nobody sang happy birthday until I got home on Monday night and Spencer's mom saved the day because she's the nicest woman on earth did they know it was there well unless they were all completely blind because I set it on the kitchen counter because it has to be taken out of the fridge six hours before you eat it

and I was like oh we'll be doing that after dinner I'll leave it out threw the box away and everything I had to get the box back out of the bin

I had to get the box out of the bin that is grim you're going to be burying yourself you're going to be cremating yourself you're going to be

lighting yourself into the afterlife but the problem I think is that I organise everything Like literally Yeah Everything So no one's like

Maybe I haven't even pulled Amber up on the cake And like And like the place that we were staying They were really nice And they brought me a cake On the Saturday Right

And this was the day after Like we were in absolute bits And so I really hung over And they brought me a cake On the Saturday And And so Spenny kind of dragged the cake in.

They had given him candles in his hand to put in the cake because even they were being kind about it. He walked in and he goes happy birthday to you slammed it on the table.

No candles, nothing. Slammed their cake on the table so then everyone ate their cake. No one really sang happy birthday to me. Whose cake? Whose cake? Whose cake?

Whose cake? The people from the house that we were staying in the hillside hangout place, they dropped a cake off. Spenny opened the door, took the cake. They put candles in his hand

and he just flung the candles on the coffee table and said, happy birthday to you and put the cake on. One line, put the cake on the table. And I was like,

are you serious? I was like, is that all? And he was like, well, I just sang it to you. And I was like, you sang one line. Maybe he's struggling

With the fact that His wife is ageing Maybe he Finds that difficult Or Maybe he No I have nothing What a prick

What a prick But not just him Not just him There were also 11 other guests And no one sang Happy birthday to me Well I want you to know

That I would have if I was there I think I think even you would have remembered I would have I would have got something going

I would have got some sort of Mexican wave I would have I would have marked it somehow I'm going to rent out that giant house

right hillside hangout place just for you me and Joe and nobody else is coming and we'll all have a cake each

it's not what you think Joe anyway we had a great time we had a great time and I'm trying to think about what else happened on my birthday there was so in the main bedroom

they had this big red button and I was like oh you don't touch the red button but you do touch the red button you whack the red button beside the bed

and this disco ball starts spinning around with two lights shining on it and Barry White music comes on and you hit it again and a different song comes on it was like I'm getting one from my own room

it was so cool amazing that's it that was my birthday I had two naps on Saturday Joanne rang me on Saturday morning I was in an absolute heap and then I woke up

we did nothing like that's the first day and I like Jo you won't do that's the first day and like Jo you won't do nothing for a long time but I've waited five years to do nothing again and that was the first day in five years that I have lay in bed unless I have like a violent vomiting bug that I've lay in bed

and like lay in the couch and did nothing for the whole day and it was the best day ever you're not a fan of the bed rot I'm a huge fan of it I've sat here for the last hour because I just thought

you know what I'm an hour early for the pod it is difficult with the old time zones and then of course in Canada

there's time zones within the time zone of Canada I don't know where I am how do the Canadians know what time it is I don't know where I am How do the Canadians know what time it is? I don't understand When do they have breakfast?

Did you hear it's coming? There's all this talk at the moment that Cher hired four men to abduct her son because he was trying to get back with his wife

Did you hear about this? Of course I've heard about it but I'd like you to tell us it It's amazing It's somehow resurfaced. Basically, one of Cher's kids, Elijah something, was married to this woman.

Cher, he had addiction issues. Cher obviously didn't like the wife. He went into rehab. Cher told your one to get out of the house. Oh. So your one needs a house. He comes out of rehab. They spend 11 days in a hotel

trying to reconcile. And on the 11th day, which was their wedding anniversary, a SWAT team comes in From the fucking Chopper on the roof Oh no And abducts him

To get him away from her And put him back in rehab I was like That's how you do it Cher That's how you do it It's Cher I mean It's the most Cher way to end a

Like it's perfect Fair play to Cher Because like There's just no way you couldn't not listen to that. You just have to do it. Well, he had no choice. They literally abducted...

They stole him from the hotel room, put him in a van and put him back into rehab. This is why we need Cher because she's just a straight talker. She's not going to be the woman who's going to insist

that you go back and try to make her work with your husband. She's going to be like, get the fuck out. Does he love me? I want to know. No, he doesn't. There's a SWAT team coming to insist you go back and try to make her work with your husband she's going to be like get the fuck out does he love me I want to know no he doesn't there's a SWAT team

coming to get you out no Shera says no the team are on the way you're an idiot I actually I wouldn't mess with Shera if Shera told me

to do something you'd be doing it do you believe in love after love no the team are on the way she's the mother we all need she's just straight shooting You'd be doing it. Do you believe in love after love? No, the team are on the way. She's the mother we all need.

She's just straight shooting. I will also say the chair gave it 11 days. And you know, if it gets to 11 days, that's just turning into the long goodbye again. And we know we shouldn't do the long goodbye. A hundred percent. And the gas thing is there was absolutely no consequences because it's a chair. She just got to do that.

She's got to send people to... I suppose well and his wife was like his wife was like contacting the police like I have no idea what my husband is he's been abducted. Cher's like none of your business bitch. Oh god Cher's so cool isn't she? Fucking she's so cool. I actually have a very similar story with Neil Wilson he's very like. Will I tell you about it? Okay. Looks wise too, very similar. So I completely flopped my leaving cert and I decided that I was going to do a course, get into a course in college.

And Neil was like, yeah, of course, no problem, no problem. So this was on a Friday or something, I got my results. And then on the Saturday he said, yeah, you can go and do that course. But you're leaving my house tomorrow if you want to go and do that course. You can pay for everything yourself. Or I've booked you in to do a degree in Aberdeen in Scotland. And your flight leaves at 9.30 a.m. on Monday morning.

And I remember crying my eyes out for like two hours being like, no, no, I'm not going. And on Monday morning, I was on a flight to Aberdeen where I stayed for three years until I got a degree. How is he so influential? You don't fuck with Neil, you don't fuck with Cher, you don't fuck with Neil He's like Elon Musk, how is he getting all this shit done? It's like he's brainwashing you it's like he's there with a watch going

back and forth and he's like yeah you can do that or you'll do exactly what I've planned for you. It's quite you'll do exactly what I've planned for you it's quite sinister really do what I did like I was only telling I told this to Sven on our pod last week

I Neil has been doing something with a bank manager for me but like just like I looped him in to my bank manager and he started

bitching to the bank manager with me on copy about me I was like Neil stop making a show of me because I don't know anything about what's going on. It's not fair.

Cher would do that too. They are very similar. I could see Cher doing that. Did you ever, do you remember Tom Hanks' son Shet Shet Hayes? I know that his son has problems. That's all I know. He's had recurring roles on Empire Empire Shameless and Your Honour.

Oh, he was sent to the wilderness therapy program for troubled teens. Oh, wow. And his parents helped him overcome his struggles with substance abuse. So again, parents, like, that's pretty impressive. Speaking of AI, actually, we haven't even spoken about AI. Will we just bring random topics in and just be like,

speaking of Christmas. Yeah. Following on from the conversation we weren't having about AI. The reason I thought that was because Tom Hanks is in the news at the moment

giving out about AI because someone's using his image and voice for something that he he hasn't approved. And then we were both reading about the Robin Williams article where his daughter is saying that she's just completely freaked out and disturbed by this program that can now get her father to say anything they want him to say from the grave. I know, I get, yeah.

What's your feeling on that? Because I'd kind of love that because I don't like, I don't actually have any videos of my dad. I don't have any, like I used to, I remember what the phone looked like when he died because like I don't have that phone anymore, but I used to have like a voice recording of him

just in the car, but like it wasn't voice memos or anything like that. Like I'd love to hear, like hear his voice again. Like you remember Kanye did that thing with, like Kim Kardashian's dad made him into a hologram and he was talking to them and everything. That was a bit weird.

Yeah, but I think it's different when other people are getting him to say, it's like, it's like when cameo, it's like when they got Nigel Farage to say Chucky Arlo, except you could get Robin Williams to say anything. You could get him to say something really embarrassing really mean

really cruel anything and then the memory of your father is completely tainted do you get me you could just get him to say stupid shit

like it's not like he'd get to choose what he says but I was thinking I was like I would like that but I would like if I could get

other people to say shit that I want them to say. Like if you could put words in their mouths for your inner peace and healing, so you could have your ex be like, yes, I did cheat and you're not insane. I'm a prick. Or your mum. Imagine if Patricia's saying, imagine Patricia's saying, I'm really proud of you. I think your jokes are great. Rather than, I like your costume.

Wouldn't that be fun? That's something useful Patricia is proud of you I'd call her proud Patricia She's proud of you She'd be proud enough But still You know yourself now

I think that it might Freak you out a bit Like my mom Chucks in the odd Like really nice thing I'm like what the fuck Have I done What's going on here

Yeah she's asking Diagnosis Well done bug Are you okay mum Yeah in the yard like really nice thing I'm like what the fuck have I done what's going on here yeah she's asking for a diagnosis well done bug are you okay mum yeah what have you got how long have you got I'm so proud of you oh god what's happening will you make

Christmas I just I'm actually glad to hear that because I don't come from a family like that either like I was trying to explain to Spenny only on the weekend actually, over my birthday weekend I was like, we don't like we're not like a huggy family my mum would have never been like

oh darling, come here, I love you we're just not that kind of family she is proud Sandra is a bit hot are we allowed to say that on this? yeah, she is hands off. Yeah. We were talking to her at the same time I had her on Speak Your Truth around

and I was basically telling my mom that sometimes I felt guilty that I wasn't spending time with them. And I said, did you ever feel guilty? And she's like, no. Because when I came home from work, you were just out with your friends and then you came home and you'd start crying

because I wanted to go out with my friends so I didn't feel bad. I was like, okay. It's a funny tit for tat with the child. It's like, well, mummy, I don't want you to leave the house. Well, you were out playing with your friends earlier. Yeah, I'm going out with my name. Makes sense.

Fair is fair. You don't own me. Joe, who would you get to say something on AI? There probably is one for Elvis Presley isn't there oh yeah you can get him if you want and I'd like him

to tell me sorry has Elvis Presley wronged you in the past we're looking for we're looking for to get over we're looking for closure on previous

traumas Joe Joe is an Elvis Presley impersonator there's obviously some kind of weird trauma going on there between him and Elvis.

Yeah, there has to be. Is it true he died in the toilet or is that a lie? He did die in the bathroom, but he died in 1977 and I wasn't born until 1991. And I'd like him to sort of apologise for that. Yeah. Sorry for tapping out early, Joe. I think we would have got on great, like a house on fire. I'd love him to say that.

Yeah. That's quite nice. Maybe I'll get Tina Turner then what would Tina say to you she wronged you in the past guys you're not getting what I'm pitching here this isn't for you to have a celebrity

tell you you're great this is to save money and therapy you just get the person when that thing happens in your life you just need that person to say that thing

that they won't say the robot makes them say it. And then you can sleep again. Well, will I tell you something? I just don't care. I know for a fact someone cheated on me. And I just don't care. And even if they want to deny it, deny it.

But I know it's true. And you look like a cop shite. Because you're lying when I know that you're lying. And there's no more of an idiot than when they do that. And you're like, I literally know you're lying. And there's no more of an idiot than when they do that. And you're like, I literally know you're lying. So I don't care. I want Tina. Tina just burst in the door and said,

you gave me water from yesterday. I didn't. Oh, my God. It's very clear to me that no one in your family respects you. Great news. You know the way climate change, it's all bad news.

We're all going to burn, blah, blah, blah. Well, bit of good news from climate change. It's rained so much this summer that pumpkins are the biggest they've ever been. Wow, I thought you'd never come

with such good news on the pod. That's fantastic. Big, fat, huge puntas. Pump. Puntas? What? It's obviously trying to buy a car. I'll have one Fiat Punto, please.

Imagine Cinderella in a Fiat Punto instead of a pumpkin. They'd be absolutely thrilled. What a collab. Big, fat pumpkins. It's amazing. You're going to be able to carve them from the inside. You're going to be able to go in and take an angle grinder and then you're going to need a demolition team

to come and take it down after. It's going to be amazing. It's going to be able to go in and take an angle grinder and then you're going to need a demolition team to come and take it down after. It's going to be amazing. It's going to be the best Halloween I've ever had. I'm very excited for our pumpkins over Halloween. So am I. They're huge. They're the size of buildings. Joanne McNally, more good news in climate change.

It's going to be 25 degrees in London this weekend. Hello! No? No one's happy like that? Good news climate change wise in October. No. We had a bad summer. We had a bad summer. Poor folks. She's like, I'm bringing good news too. We're like, no.

That's not good news. Okay, fine. Don't enjoy the weather then. Stay in. Greta. Climate change. Okay, one thing I want to talk about is Travis Barker oh yeah

I'm sorry did anyone see that match so Travis Barker is your man who's married to well who's had his head surgically attached

to Courtney Kalashian's face for the last two years so he's in plunk plunk kerplunk he's in Blunk Blunk Kerplunk he's in Punto

1A2 Punto Blunk so it's come out that he has it was in his book no

in Resurface Quotes yeah so he's obviously married to Courtney and Carlashian Kim's sister and he had said

Kim Kardashian is fucking hot she's curvy eye candy and gushed over her in all these tweets that he'd sent about Kourtney's sister so he fancied Kim like that's just so scarlet so it was actually in his memoir him and Kim had a thing

they banged no they had an emotional thing. Yeah. And he says they were hanging out loads and going for dinner. He says nothing physically happened, but that it was all there. He was going to a party at the time.

He'd just broken up with Shanna, but she was really jealous and she threw a drink over Kim at a party. And it's all in his memoir. And now he's married to her sister. It's a bit weird. However, what I would say is, the lesson here is,

write your memoir when you know you're about to be dead. Don't write your memoir and then live for another 40 years when you've rinsed everyone in the book. No. It's too much information. It's too personal. I don't think I'll ever write a memoir because I just don't want to share everything like that. Do you know what I don't think I'll ever write a memoir because I just don't want to share everything

like that like I don't do you know what I don't want to do even people that were complete wankers I still don't want to throw people under the bus I don't know why I'm just like I know I just don't because I think it always reflects badly on you as well when you just keep whinging about people also you're kind of punching down because unless they have a book they have no right to reply so you're kind of taking advantage of the situation which no one appreciates that would be my take on it now in saying that

talk to me in 20 years time when I'm bitter and twisted and I've outed everyone including the two of you maybe I'm yeah I'll probably out you first let's be honest

I won't write a memoir oh wait I will this is only going one way and it's the best seller section of the memoir section of Eason's Let's be honest. I won't write a memoir. Oh, wait, I will. This is only going one way. And it's the bestseller section of the memoir section of Eason's. I'd love to read your memoir if you really went in. If I really went in,

I reckon I could have a pretty good memoir. Like, it would be... Oh, yeah. But it is... I reckon there's quite shocking parts of it. There would be a big fallout, which I don't think we're arsed with,

to be honest. Well, you wouldn't fall out with me which I don't think we're arsed with to be honest well you wouldn't fall out with me I don't even say nice things about you I mean there seems to be a lot of fallout to writing memoirs

because remember Matthew Perry had that really bitchy line about Keanu Reeves like people really hone in on this stuff and

people don't take kindly to it especially in this day and age the culture is it's not a slaggy culture anymore in either way

I think that you could write one if you're going to write one the only problem is you really have to go in on all the things that you don't want to talk about and if you don't it's just going to be

a shite book and I never understand like like Spenny wrote a book about like his life when he was like 22 he's only just

fucking born practically like what's the point some people have an old soul. Now I would be able to say a few things but I don't think I'd be able to fill a whole book on stuff. Unless I really dragged some shit out. There's a lot going on with

the Kardashians at the moment. None of it looks good. What is going on? The new series is out. Episode 1 is out and they're on this holiday in Mexico and I just I just love like

Kim has the best life ever I watched the whole seven minute phone conversation between her and Courtney did you watch it so the fight started last season

when Courtney and Kim were fighting because Kim had gotten a Dolce & Gabbana campaign and Courtney was like you stole everything from my wedding when Courtney had actually

just gone through the Dolce & Gabbana back catalogues and used stuff for her wedding and Kim had done her own thing which I thought did look different because I was emptying Kim so they had a fight about that but then they like resolved the fight but then what happened was

they watched the episodes when they came out and they saw each other bitching about each other so the fight reignited and then Courtney was really pissed off again and then Kim was really pissed off again but Kim was saying shit

like like all of your friends say it about you too they're all complaining to us we have a special group a what's up group called Not Courtney and it's like

that is so mean I believe them though I also have a Not Courtney group she's have a not Courtney group. She's such a melt. Courtney's doing her own thing and they're like,

because they think there's something wrong with her. But I'm only going from what I see. I think if I was to hang out with a Kardashian, I think I'd like to go on the piss. I'm so happy we're talking about the Kardashians. I think I would like to go on the piss with Khloe and Kylie. They'd be the best ones to go in the pits with.

And then like, I'll hang around with Kim from day to day. There's a part of me that just feels like Courtney has had, made so much money and had so much success because of what Kim did. And they're just, there's a lot of tension there between them. And it's not going to help the fact that Courtney's husband wrote in his memoir that he fancied the whole of her sister. When did the memoir come out?

Why did he do that? 2006 or 2016. Back in the day. It's all, as they say, resurfaced. A term that nobody wants to hear. Oh, some things you said have resurfaced. You're like, oh, oh sorry I'll just throw myself out a window

oh thanks for that I feel like I've gotten my fix now one of my favourite things I've seen of late was you know fashion we love fashion

we love fashion sorry have you noticed my jumper is that the ghosted merch looks great it's really nice I know I love the white tracksuit it's my great That's the ghosted merch Look Jo It's really nice I know

I love the white tracksuit It's my favourite Where's the cream? Cream or white? White, lilac and black And I know I keep wearing them And not saying when they're coming out And they're coming out soon

Come on When did I? I don't think she knows I don't think it's like Where she's not keeping it a secret I just think they haven't told us Anyway We love a bit of fashion

However Fashion at the top level is up it's own hell like to say it's drank it's own Kool-Aid is quite something I think that the reason that fashion shows go so over the top is because there are artists who can't accept

that their clothes are going to end up being walked on in the middle of a changing room do you know what I mean they can't understand they have to go on above and beyond anyway the reason I thought this was so funny this YouTube prankster yeah I just hate that term this YouTube prankster

gate crashed one of the fashion shows in Paris Fashion Week wearing a shower cap and some sort of poncho and walked down the catwalk and no one noticed everyone just sat there staring, clapping until a bouncer came and whipped him away

because that's how nonsensical it looks at times so then I know it was very funny it was really funny but sometimes it's like that

it was like that Vogue party in London and I have to say I'm going to be honest like I kind of like to be invited to those things but I'm just not

I'm not on the invite list I'm not in that like click And I never will be I used to try and like go to fashion shows years ago And be like oh I'll come I'll come And then I'm like you know what I'm not I don't have to like

No Like it's just I'd much rather go into a clothes shop on the high street It's all there I don't have to deal with crowds And then I just go and get a drink after myself

which is basically what a fashion show is I yeah well I would rather buy it online buy it online and sit at home sorry

I'm not I'm not clapping at grown women walking down the catwalk in a zorb pretending I know what's going on but sometimes

people enjoy fashion and I like like you remember when Bjork went, was it to the Oscars and she was wearing that, or it was the Grammys and she was wearing that swan dress?

Like, that's quite fun. Yeah, no, it is fun. I just thought, if a random young lad can get away with walking down a catwalk in a shower curtain in a poncho, the fashion industry needs to take a hard look at itself. Our Golden Retriever is a mare of Idlewild, California.

So they've actually had a set of Golden Retriever mares. Look. I'm not making it up. It's true. I saw that floating around it's very sweet why not

then I was looking up other I was like one of the most ludicrous fashion shows they've ever had so Gucci in 2018 the models were holding

their own heads so like they had their head but they created these matching heads so they were holding their exact image on a de had their head but they created these matching heads so they were holding their exact image on a decapitated head walking down the

I kind of like that one what does it mean it doesn't mean anything you're good do you know what I mean well do you know what do you know what it means it's 2023

we've still brought it up that was five years ago and we're still talking about it so that's what they wanted if I walked into Zara and the mannequins were held in their own heads I'd report it.

Joanne, Zara are not far behind. Have you seen some of the poses on their website? It's like, how are you trying to sell me that like dress with that weird, like there's a model

hanging out of a washing machine down the bottom of a fucking swamp. I don't get it. There was a Rick Owens fashion show where they, one model would walk out but there was another model wrapped around with its legs like up in its face

and holding on to its waist did you ever see the models where they're in vases do you remember the girls the models in the like well back in my modelling days

I used to have to go to I used to have to go to these high fashion wedding shows and it would literally be like in like a town hall somewhere and there would be people coming to look at different things for the wedding. And like the dresses would always, they would never fit you. So you'd be kind of walking down the aisle trying to hold your dress up

as it was clamped at the back with these huge big clamps. And that was my like my big modeling debut. And or sometimes I would model in shopping centres just like wandering around or ladies lunches I'd walk around the lunch tables

in all these different dresses just like stopping in between some tables doing a pose and then walking to the next table and you think it's going to be this kind of glamorous job

well it is for some people well I know but a lot of them you're like oh you've turned up you know what I mean the girls they've been getting facials they've had their teeth white

and they're ready for the day and they're like oh you're going to be wearing a pigeon head for the afternoon because this is conceptual you're like oh okay

well I mean we all do what we have to do I stuck my head in giant burgers at times I like I had a Daft Punk

mask on my head another time that absolutely reeked because 10,000 people had worn it before me. I have to say, I went to an Alexander McQueen exhibition when I was in Melbourne and had all these outfits from his shoot, like from his catwalk shows. And I mean

controversial opinion, but there wasn't a single thing in that whole exhibition you'd wear Like do you know what I mean I don't think you're meant to want To wear stuff off the runway Mainly I think that they kind of

That's the bloody point of it then I know But they kind of They kind of amp it up And then Like Oh god I don't know Then it's just an

Then it's just an art exhibition I'll tell you what If I got offered Front row at Burberry, which I've been campaigning for silently for years, I would go. I'd go to the show and you'd come with me. We'd go in our trenches.

I'd go too. I'd go because I'm nosy. I like a little look. I do a little people watch. That's what I love. Just people watching, staring at everybody. But I'd say it's... I'd be shy about the clothes.

That's why they're all on drugs because they're bored out of their fucking minds allegedly allegedly we've added Brisbane to our Australian tour detailed to follow we got Brisbane

Brisbane we finally made it work we're very excited very Brisbane very I've organised a couple of dates for us in Australia I told you lots of friends lots of friends in Australia Brisbane We finally made it work We're very excited Very Very I've organised a couple of dates For us in Australia

I told you lots of friends Lots of friends in Australia Oh my god Are we announcing our affair Right here publicly This is crazy We've got lots of things going on I can't wait for Australia

Two weeks I might cry a bit Without the kids But you're just going to have to Help me through those times We're going to Perth We're going to Sydney Sydney Melbourne Brisbane SSE Belfast Dublin I might cry a bit without the kids, but you're just going to have to help me through those times. We're going to Perth. We're going to Sydney.

Sydney. Melbourne. Brisbane. SSE Belfast. Dublin. Thanks, everybody, for listening. I had a great time. Also, if you fancy a bit of a sack of express,

I have six nights in the Borgosh in January. Good night and good luck. All details are on geronimcnally.com. Oh, we're going there? Well, I have lots of tickets for Spencer and Vogue, too. Different dates to my therapist ghosted me. So whack them and vote too. Different tastes to my therapist. Ghost with me. So walk them in too.