My Therapist Ghosted Me - Castles, Falcons & Narcissism

Episode Date: December 8, 2023

The MTGM Live tour is reaching it's final leg, after many thousands of miles, so Vogue & Joanne are being pampered in a castle... Obvs. Plus, the reason why falcons are tories and the merch has landed!If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com/For more information about Joanne's gigs, visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player Original Podcast. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Goes With Me with me, Bogue Williams and... Joanne McNally. I haven't been great Oh yeah okay go on I know this story but Feel free to retell it I haven't Firstly

In our defence Both of us I mean I know we obviously We talk about Boozing and not boozing Pretty much all the time I know It is what it is

Yeah But we did some We did our big three arena shows in dublin the party found me the party found you it found it found me a little bit of found you more i would say i feel like you've been really well behaved on the tour and i don't know what's happened to me it's like i've been let loose there's been a fire lit but i will tell you that has been extinguished i you're a broken woman i When I say Like I have not I can't even look

Back at my phone At like taxi times And stuff like that Yeah I haven't gotten To that point Because I'm so shook Like I basically So I'm always organised

I moved house this week Right And I organised Kevin Getty To come I mean you didn't Kevin moved house for you Kevin moved house for me

Caroline Kevin My life Did you do anything I did nothing Yeah I organised it You didn't. Kevin moved house for you. Kevin moved house for me. Kevin, my love. Did you do anything? I did nothing. Yeah. I organised it. Okay.

You put the calls in. I text Kevin about it. Yeah. And then you relaxed. And I relaxed. Yeah. But anyway, so I had Kevin's lovely guys coming up on Monday morning at 10am in my absence because I had to get a flight home.

10am. 10.09amam 10.09am I wake up to a buzzing On my phone And I was about to turn it off Until I saw My stepdad Neil's Number

Ringing me And I was like Oh no Even I'm nervous now I'm like What does Neil want Oh my god He's like

Vogue Where are you We are downstairs And I was like Oh no Oh no There's people Here to see you

no one's opening the door I didn't know Neil was from Newcastle yes he is upon time is he he is from Newcastle upon time

anyway so I jumped out of bed I got into my obviously I didn't change because clearly I was too drunk to even get out of my clothes

the night before which was actually lucky in the end jumped out of bed obviously couldn't have a shower I had pre-packed my bags because it's like

my mind had a sense of what was going to happen ran down the stairs apologised profusely to anyone at the door to everyone you're just like

an official apology to everyone I obviously looked dreadful I had face wipes in my hand because I was like I can't go to the

airport like this jumped in the car Neil started shouting at me he was like you're 38 my hand Because I was like I can't go to the airport like this Jumped in the car Neil started shouting at me He was like You're 38 years old And I was like I just I can't take it

My mum hands me mints Hold on Sorry Why are your parents So involved in the transportation Of you as a ground woman To the airport They offered a lift

And you know what I'm like I like to save a few bob Oh my god folk My mum was making a trip To Ballahide anyway it's practically on the way i'm pretty sure you could arrange for a free helicopter collaboration to take you straight home to battersea like i believe you're gonna get lift off there would never have been money more well spent i got in the back of the car like a complete loser and i was like i actually

don't really remember the car journey i just loser and I was like I actually don't really remember the car journey I just remember my mum handing me a merriment being like here folk have that I obviously reeked of booze hadn't brushed their hair got to the airport apologized profusely I saw Laura Whitmore in the airport and her face said it all I obviously looked horrific and she'd come wasn't she at the British Awards or something no she was doing the I was meant thank god I said I was invited to the um to the what's it called the British Fashion Awards and come on I don't get invited to shit like that so that was a big moment for me yeah but I said no because I had like I said I might be a bit tired after the arenas fine so amazing this is like when Kim Kardashian finally got invited to the Met Gala yeah that's

what it felt like this is your moment yeah but You've been accepted But I didn't want the moment Because I knew I wouldn't be ready But I didn't realise How unready I'd be So I got on the flight And then even one of the Aer Lingus Heroin chic

What would they call you Vodka tonic chic Desolate chic All in your face I got on the I got on the Aer Lingus flight And the air hostess Came up to me

And she was like Are you okay And I was like No actually I'm really not okay kind of fell asleep for the flight and when I got home I was bed bound for the whole day I couldn't you know you really you really fell you fell hard I haven't heard you as distressed as you were it was you found you were distressed I have not spent a day in bed like that and I don't know how long for being hung

over and like the kids came home and I was like we're gonna watch Christmas movies just trying to lie in bed I couldn't even eat I was so hungover that's how bad it was well you know what it was a big

it was a big week for us I think there's no harm in letting your letting your letting your stannos down and let your and you did and why not

the stannos are back up it was your rock and roll moment I deserve but I actually took a leaf out of your book so I got into the bed Took to the bed Oh god what's my book

I went on the TikTok I've never done that On TikTok What a load of crap I couldn't believe How long I spent Watching people Make beans

On toast I know It is hypnotic It's absolutely hypnotic I'm big I know It's terrible I had nothing in the fridge

so I was going to make me and my boyfriend dinner. Two tins of beans. Two tins of beans. All these onions. Two loaves of cheese. I couldn't tear myself away from it. Yeah, but you're just not

watching the right stuff. Do you know what I mean? Well, how do I find the right stuff? Because it was just beans for me. You need to go on your Explorer page. You need to curate your own experience. I saw that you'd sent me a message and somehow that came up

And I was like Oh hello It's her again And I was like Hi Peek-a-boo Hey folks I see you're online

Wanna chat? I rang Louise as well Louise is my manager And I rang her And I was like Because the girls From the office were ringing me And I was like

Tell them it's a no today I've never done that I was like No one is to contact me today No you fail badly I can't I could see that I saw it in your eyes after the final show you were giving Debs energy it was like leaving certain results energy it was like I've never been out I've never left the house it was 18th birthday first drink energy and I salute you I felt like I was shocked though you know and you're just like I am so shocked from the events

that unfolded like that I like God it was it's so bad I feel so good to be normal today like I've never been

so thankful of of normalcy what like I mean what did you have what did you have a couple of West Coast coolers

come on what did you have I don't know what I had because I don't remember a lot of the night I'd just like to say as well thank you so so much

to everyone who came and made those shows incredibly special to us. But I also blame you. Thank you very much for coming but it's your fault particularly the Sunday crowd

who sent me really over the edge in the end. Well I've been reeling. I've had a really bad week. Why? Because Pret-a-Mange I get a two star review in the Sunday Times.

What? The Irish Sunday Times? No the English Times. What? The Irish Sunday Times? No, the English ones. What? I know. So I've written a stern letter. Well, what I will say is they had no corn nuts today. Just saying.

They had out of stock. Edit that out, Jo. No. Out of stock. I won't have anything negative said about them. You saw me buy the other corn nuts in W.A. Smith. Not the same. Desperate.

Charlotte Ivers, Who I always respected And like reading her column Do you know what Do you know what Fucking really annoys me Stop giving stars to things Like Why do you give them

Pret a Mange to Like have you run out Of actual restaurants To review Like it's a It's a takeaway I mean It's like going into

Fucking McDonald's Like it's What are you done about When we describe Pret to people Like in England When it arrived in Ireland Like the thrill when we describe Pret to people like in England when it arrived in Ireland

like the thrill that we had have you ever been to it's like going into a Texaco garage it's like it's like going into a service station

and reviewing it it's Pret a Manger what are you on about go on tell us about the house move the house move thank god for Kevin Carey

I'm in and out I'm out of the old house Which makes me quite sad Because that was like A really big moment in my life To buy that house Yeah And now

A house I never thought Would be mine Is mine And I'm really happy about it Yeah So I've moved in So Kevin Carey basically Has moved my old house

But they have this thing Where they go and unpack it for you His wife is involved in it Yeah yeah yeah I've seen that done Where they basically Just recreate the room So because I'm going home

For Christmas And I'm not going to be home Because I'm working I will go home And it will be just like Now as good as it can be Because I'm like The whole house

Needs to be done Like there's There's no curtains Or anything like that So like I'm It's my dream Because I get to like Do the whole house

I get to go through The whole process Which is handy Because I've actually Already do the whole house I get to go through the whole process which is handy because I've actually already done half the house you're too hot to have curtains let them see it no I need it

well I currently have a bed sheet there's a bed sheet in the room what's the point like what's the point of looking like you if you've got curtains as many walks around nude I know

I'm like dude you were closed when I came in here what are you doing you know I'm here I went into I'm like Dude You were closed When I came in here What are you doing You know I'm here I went into I was like

Gigi This morning I was like Where are you Gigi And I went in And she's just Standing at the toilet Staring at

Spenny Gigi Come out of there God Gigi Come away from that Gigi Please No Oh I went to

Tea school play this week Go on You can't be good at everything I suppose I know he can't talk at all what part is he playing

he was a camel there were a few camels there were a few camels but Svenny and I left and we were like because he kept just yawning and he kind of was going

in and out of song whereas all the other kids were doing like the full song and I was thinking maybe he has like. I don't know. He just struggles to pay attention. A little bit like I did.

But we left. And we were like. Oh. And he was like. Yeah. And I was like. Yeah. You need to get him out to the Billy Bargains.

He's not. No. But I think that you're not great. At everything. Like. He's so clever. And I think. And so when he was like.

You have to remember. Not to be that parent. That are like. My kids are so amazing. And everything. He wasn't an amazing camel. Yeah. But like.

I mean. Also. What experience does he have. Of being a camel. Like. From what I know. A lot of actors. They. parent that are like my kids are so amazing and everything he wasn't an amazing camel yeah but like I mean also what experience does he have of being a camel like from what I know a lot of actors they they draw from their own life experiences

and I don't I've never seen him be a camel before well I'm just telling you Mary what's her name the Virgin Mary yeah well I was a virgin

when I played her now I couldn't play the role now obviously but when I played her I was you would struggle You would struggle. I would struggle now. My life companion.

Oh, look, it's you again, Joanne. Hello. It's been so long. I'm so happy. I look forward to catching up with you On the podcast We are coming to you live From Our new home

In Mayo Yeah I think I'll live here forever Ashford Castle Yeah Where Our minds are Blown every time we turn a corner It is

So Ashford Castle Bit of history It's a castle Yeah. Where our minds are blown every time we turn a corner. It is... So, Ashford Castle, bit of history. It's a castle. It was built in the 12th century in Ashford. In Ashford.

In Mayo. Yeah. The Guinness family used to own it for a while. I found that out. The McNally family never owned it. The Williams family will be owning it very soon.

Will you indeed? No, I will not. Is there a job? What collab are you doing that could possibly mean you'd afford Ashford Castle? Are the Brillo pads

back on to you? So they picked us up. They pick you up in a car as well from the airport. It's ridiculous. It's just like everything you could want in a place

and all the staff are really nice and I think it's because they all live around here and they absolutely love it but it was falling down Ashford Castle

and then this American family bought it they spent a hundred million doing it up imagine Vogue said she was like they'll never make that money back

and I was like I don't know Vogue you haven't tagged them yet you wouldn't know and if it's for the love you have a lot of followers I think

I don't think they know How many You're like Hey Timmy Guinness There's your cash back Jokes We're very aware Of our status in the world

And it's certainly not Ashford Castle level No And do you know what I usually I'm the type of person If I can go home I'd rather go home

I don't want to stay in a hotel This hotel Has changed my mind on it. Like, I actually, I don't know if you know. It's outrageous. Everything.

I've asked, so I went straight down after my lovely little sleep and I was like, where to get the pillows? Because the pillows. Yeah. I'm buying the pillows.

I don't know how, I think you're going to have to bring them home for me. I'm going to buy four of the pillows. Yeah. I'd say they're, I mean, this is the kind of place,

it's so high end that if you rob the pillows, they're too respectful. They wouldn't even mention it. Do you know what I mean? If you rob the pillows out of an Ibis, you'd be in court.

100%. If you rob the pillows out of Ashford Castle, they'd be like, as you want. As you need. I looked in Joanne's boot. She has the mattress in there.

She's got, she's got a whole cutlery boot. She has the mattress in there. She's got, she's got a whole cutlery set. I put the staff in there. I said, Nigel, that's Nigel from the bar. He'd be the one to take. The sommelier.

This morning, at breakfast. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. We're obviously, I mean, we're doing shows in Mayo. That's why we're here. And we're being slobs in Ashford.

This morning at breakfast. It's just one of those gorgeous I was at a wedding here years ago how did you afford to come to a wedding here years ago well

I couldn't really afford it at the time but you've no choice I wouldn't they got a wedding rate they got a wedding

rate but I did say I remember at the time I said to the bride I was like come here do you have any single cousins or anything I could share I did I was like come here like do you have like any single cousins or anything I could share

I did I was like I could share a room because we got a wedding right but like I was still a student at the time I'm pretty sure and she was like oh don't be ridiculous like come on you're a grand but I was like so I coughed up and I stayed and of course it was a wedding I think it was in bed I think it was in bed for 20 minutes

but like if you're wondering what that noise is it's the open fire burning in the room. I know. There's an open fire in the bedroom. I'm just like thinking to myself, one day I'm going to have an open fire in my bedroom. That's now my level. I don't think you're allowed anymore.

I think they're illegal now. No, but it's a gas fire. You can have a gas fire. So I'm going to like, that's my new pinnacle. I want to have an open fire in my bedroom. Yeah. 10 years time it's going to happen. Oh, sorry. Thisacle I want to have an open fire in my bedroom yeah ten years time it's going to happen

oh sorry this morning at breakfast me and Roger sitting there minding our own business next thing the juice sommelier comes over

with a trolley he's pushing a trolley he's like I am the juice and wine sommelier at breakfast and he talked us through all the ingredients

in each juice it was so it's so he's still there going through there were about six different juices so I was like

I'd usually only go for the orange juice but like I want a power juice I want the beetroot everything I'm like sniffing the kale juice like oh great legs

I always what vintage is this what vintage is the kiwi sir what vintage I feel like though that I always turn into like like obviously legs. What vintage is this? What vintage is the Kiwi, sir? What vintage? I feel like, though, that I always turn into, like, obviously, I get this vibe about me when I go away. If I really love

somewhere, I'm like, I'm so sad that I have to leave. And it kind of, like, it follows me through my whole stay, because I'm like, I'm loving it so much that then I have to leave. But, like, I've already asked about, like, rates at Christmas next year. I'm like, I think I should come here for Christmas. Yeah, I think they're sold out the beds have curtains on them what do you call them sorry go in and look

at my bathroom the bath has like four poster bath it's a four poster bath how will we ever go how do we go back to a normal life feel the wall feel that wallpaper that's that's a fucking carpet on the wall carpet on the walls it's actually padded as well

I know It's carpet on the walls. It's carpet on the walls. It's actually padded as well. Oh my God. I know. So they walk the falcons here. Because they're actually born in captivity, they're always with humans. And basically, they go around with this glove on their hand and little bits,

I did see little bits of mice and stuff like that in their hands that they were feeding them. And the falcons fly off and the further they fly and come back the better a treat they get it's mad. To train them to come home yeah so they come back

I noticed that that's a real posh hotel thing to do falconry well obviously falconry where are you going to find falconry? But it's like it's still such a it's such a kind of posh hobby like the lower end hotels which I was raised on have wave machines

I used to love the wave machines and crazy golf high end hotels you're getting eagles and falcons you're getting golf you're getting chess I wonder if falcons know

they're so high end they do yeah do they of course they do that's why they batter all the other birds yeah little diamond rings they don't care

they'd eat dogs they'd eat small dogs because they're privileged Do they Of course they do That's why they batter All the other birds Yeah little diamond rings They don't care They'd eat dogs They'd eat small dogs Because they're privileged And they know it Yeah They can do whatever They want They're Tories

Is that a good English reference joke Jo That is right Is it A Tory yeah Oh my god Look at me You don't

I don't want to be It's so political I don't want to be anything I just know everyone Slags Tories I don't know what they do What's the other one Jo Labour

Labour Labour I think Now not to get anything I just know everyone slags Tories I don't know what they do What's the other one Jo? Labour Labour Labour I think Now not to get political Uh oh I think Labour are going to get in Someone tell me that

Get in where? Where are they going? Get into power I want nothing to do with this They get into power Well then I'll back them because I like people who win Yeah me too

One week I'm conservative the next week I'm liberal whoever's winning I was a huge Trump fan back in the day he let us he let us all down then I was talking

I stormed the capital I that was me in the Viking helmet and all yeah I love a leader I can imagine Joanne being like

Ivanka Trump no not Ivanka Trump what's the other one Melania Melania who just goes around and is just like wearing your little

red MAGA hat I'm like I'm here to win who's winning so Alan's here obviously the trophy wife is fucking lapping it up and me and Pog are in

working doing our show and I said to Alan like I'm going to need to eat something when I get back to the room and that's what they have and he goes

well they've just delivered some sort of chariotry board so they got a chariotry board and I'm like I'm going to need to eat something when I get back to the room and that's what they have and he goes well they've just delivered some sort of chariotry board so they got a chariotry board and I was like a chariotry board a chariotry board well it's far from

Ashford Castle you're right I was like ah yeah ask for a second chariotry board get a chariotry for two please I noticed I once saw this guy he, that was actually one of my friends. And he went to just, he took like a big thing of nuts and threw them in his mouth.

And it was olive pips that people had spat out. And he picked them all up and threw them in his mouth. It was at a posh restaurant. That's why I joined the poshness. That's so weird Because I literally When I went down to the bar earlier And I was sitting with Joe and Una Our director

And Joe our producer You didn't Our giggly sidekick Yeah But I didn't get I got it to the lips Oh And they were like

That's a lot of pip But you know me now I wouldn't give a shit I think that's just good Anyway Tell us about Trump Oh yeah The thing about Trump Well it was It doesn't really Anyway I'll tell it anyway Okay fine Two us about Trump Oh yeah The thing about Trump

Well it was It doesn't really Anyway I'll tell it anyway Okay fine Two things about Trump Because I was only talking To him today

He's very fair Very fair man Loves an immigrant I've always thought Very fair man Absolutely loves an immigrant Yeah Very kind

Very fair Yeah Against war Completely Very intelligent Very rational Great hair Fantastic tan Great head of hair very kind very fair against war completely very intelligent very rational great hair fantastic tan

great head of hair and a lovely skin tone so he was so I was saying to my therapist about how I can understand when I'm wrong like I don't like it

but I can I know I'm wrong but then I was like but how can people not know they're wrong like ever and he was like that's a narcissist

and I was like oh and he was like so narcissists always think that they're right and he was like that's a narcissist and I was like oh and he was like so narcissists always think that they're right and he was like like Donald Trump so Donald Trump

is like the most perfect narcissist in the world so he just thinks he is the most amazing person ever but I remember when he was he was going

trying to get re-elected and we were staying in St. Barts at the time which is full of American people and I'd never seen so many red MAGA hats and everyone like

was so up for Trump and desperate for him to get in and I tell you what the thrill the next day when he didn't I was absolutely delighted didn't see any hats

that day now did you not I'm surprised because Trump fans are proper Trump fans it's like he could do anything it's that kind of

messiah complex and also not to disagree with your trained professional therapist's that kind of Messiah complex Like And also Not to disagree with your Trained professional therapist But I kind of do disagree with them I think narcissists They know they're wrong But they

They think you're Thick And that they're way more Intelligent than you So they'll just power on And they'll convince you They're right I think that's what they do

That's more gaslighty though But that's what they do But they know they're wrong Yeah they do know Well they are wrong They know they're wrong yeah they do not what they are wrong they know they're wrong and i'm gonna go down to i'm gonna reference therapy jeff again oh they're tiktok well i mean yeah how can i find stuff like that instead of the beans well you're paying for a real therapist i'm getting my therapy i'm getting mine from therapy jeff on tiktok for free well I would like Therapy Jeff as well.

Therapy Jeff. If anyone doesn't follow Therapy Jeff on TikTok, forward slash Instagram, he deals with all this. He deals with all this kind of shit, but in bite-sized, 10-second solutions, which is what I want. I mean, they don't sound like great solutions, but I'm willing to hear what he has to say.

Yeah, I have dealt with narcissists many, many times. Many, many times. Many, many. And I do know from have dealt with narcissists many many times many many times many many and I do know from my dealing with narcissists I know it's anecdotal but they know when they're wrong

but they don't care because they want their own way and they will just convince you that they're right because they think you are thicker than them

I think like because my what was my therapist saying to me as well today like we were talking about personas and how I might have a different persona to on stage to what I would do off stage and he said that loads of people have different personas but like when he said that to me I was

like are you when he first was like you've different personas I was like are you saying I've got split personalities and he was like no Vogue but I thought he was trying to tell me that I had that split personality thing I was like is there voices in my head I don't know about No It's like everyone Has a different version Of themselves But you've loads

Of different versions You've got the tired version You've got the just like Or you've got the I'm on form version Or you've got the I'm on work mode version Or I'm doing an interview version

Or I'm like Or I'm chilling out version Yeah Or we're doing a podcast version And you have to have Those different sides Or life will be Very difficult for you

sorry but I need to is that the dinner bell is that the dinner gong they have a large clock here an outside like tower clock are you sure they're not ringing us

for dinner now we've just had dinner so I would assume not I thought we were having a second dinner with them so Forbes most powerful women 2023 for dinner now? We've just had dinner so I would assume not. I thought we were having a second dinner with him. So, Forbes Most Powerful Women 2023.

Are we on it? Did you see that Taylor Swift? It's not us. It's not us? Was it Taylor Swift? Why are you bringing it up then? Because Taylor Swift was

Maybe we'll get it next year. Guess who was number one? So, I know Taylor was number one. Well, no, she was not number one. Oh! Taylor, because I thought Taylor was number one. Well, they were talking about her like she was number one. So I know Taylor was number one. Well no she was not number one. Oh! Taylor because I thought Taylor was number one. Well they were talking

about her like she was number one. She's number five and she's so she's 33. She's 33 God she's done well for herself hasn't she? She's only 33 She's really nailed life now I have to say We have a lot of catching up to do Jesus Christ

So Ursula von der Leyen never heard of her never want to she's in politics and policy and she's from Belgium it's not just about like celeb celeb it's like who's actually

kind of contributed to the world in a different way rather than artistically I mean Beyonce's 36 right again for media and entertainment Rihanna's

sorry I would dispute that well let me just dispute something else before you dispute that Rihanna's 74 and it's like I don't know about media and entertainment sorry I thought we were talking about age there and I was like I don't know

if Rihanna's 74 I mean I know she's got a good team on her side actually because I would think Rihanna, though, listen, media and entertainment, I don't think she should be 74. With this products and stuff like that, like with her Fenty, she should be like number five for that, like brilliant. But I don't know about Rihanna for 74 or for music and entertainment.

I mean, let's be real. Rihanna has retired. She has retired. She did three minutes in the Superbowl and then fucked off again and I respect it so Taylor Swift did you see all that stuff Taylor Swift was saying then about Kimmy K yeah it's about time she had

her say to be honest that whole thing was a shit show and they properly stitched her up and now obviously we know that Kanye cannot be trusted I also think she kind of I thought she handled that well and did kind of have her way back then

well she apparently she left the country did you watch her documentary Miss Americana it's very good like there was a stage where she felt like everyone just

absolutely despised her because of that thing there was a couple of things happened at the same time she did a couple of faux pas as we all do oh my god like can you imagine

being that famous the amount of shit you'd say the next day you're like oh god that doesn't sound right so we were talking to a promoter who works in Ireland

and he was saying the last time she was here like they were kind of trying to they had to do a lot to sell the tickets you know what

yeah and now it's like Joanna's going I'm going to Taylor in the Aviva I can't believe you wouldn't go like it's one of the biggest tours that's ever happened to Taylor in the Aviva I can't believe you wouldn't go like it's one of the

biggest tours that's ever happened in the history of the world I'll tell you why right I like I don't think I would appreciate the tickets to be honest with you

fair enough I think she's great like everything she does is really good but it's not my vibe of music like I never listen to her if Eminem comes to town

that's when I'm going in yeah like that will be my time Taylor Swift let me tell you one thing about her she will earn a hundred million from Spotify

this year just Spotify nothing of her other earnings imagine what she's earning from that tour I actually do listen to Taylor and the reason I know I listen to Taylor Swift

is because I got a personal thank you from Taylor on my Spotify rap oh they were like she was like she did a really nice video I thought it was a really nice touch she's like hey I got a personal thank you from Taylor on my Spotify rap oh they were like

she was like she did a really nice video I thought it was a really nice touch she's like hey you're seeing me because obviously you listen to me loads I was reading this thing

the other day about how to kind of hack your Spotify rap I'm just looking at my rap now I didn't know third song D12 I'll shit on you

like honestly that's pathetic that's oh my god imagine a Pornhub unwrapped I know exactly Third song D12 Oh shit on you Like honestly That's pathetic That's Oh my god Imagine a Pornhub Unwrapped I know exactly What mine would be

And I'm not telling you Please don't tell me I wouldn't Tell anyone I don't wanna know Like it's not like It's mad weird shit But I think anyone's like

I don't know what anyone's Like trying to find For porn Pornhub Spotify Would be That would be Very funny

So But you know You can see it in people Who would have a really weird one I know No I know exactly What Spotify would be that would be very funny so but you know you can see it in people who would have a really weird one I know no I know exactly what it would be it would be

gangbang like because they have you can see it from the pages where they have mouse searched gangbang

I know but what I'm saying to you young hot teens no I don't have young hot teens stepmom's juices stepson all that stuff there's the odd gangbang in there for me the taboos I don't have young hot teens stepmoms stepson

all that stuff there's the odd gangbang in there for me the taboos I won't lie because I haven't not yet

been in a gangbang myself there's no kind of like Wednesday night after an early dinner I'm a sexual girl what can I say are we sexual

or not sexual I can't keep up with this I'm not really feeling sexual at the moment some weeks I am though unexploded bomb detonated with us. I'm not really feeling sexual at the moment. Some weeks I am though. Unexploded bomb detonated after spending decades

as couple's garden ornament. Sorry, wait, unexploded, they detonated it so they did explode it.

So, this couple in Pembrokeshire, that place that we cannot pronounce. Pembrokeshire. The bomb apparently made its original journey to the house on a very bumpy ride

by horse and cart more than a hundred years ago and has since been played with by children painted by the family and tapped with a garden trowel so it's this huge big it looks like a giant ropey ball but it's like a huge bullet show me show me that's it there so they painted

it the same colour as their windows. Oh my God. How did they not know it was a bomb? I think they did know. This is what a couple who kept an unexploded missile as a garden ornament for decades were ready to go out with their home and everything in it after a bomb disposal unit told them it needed to be detonated.

So basically they were like, well, if you take the bomb, you take us. Sorry. They're willing to die for their garden ornament out the back. So what happened with the bomb then? They took it away from them.

So they take it away and they throw it in the sea or something. And they detonated it and it just went like it was a ship bomb but no one knew that. Jesus.

But this couple were like if you take us like basically we're not going we're not going to let you take the bomb. If the bomb explodes we're happy to die with it I was like it's a

It's a fucking That's so stupid I wouldn't even do that for a pet Ah no Oh Winnie I wouldn't do it for Winnie I wouldn't do it for I wouldn't do it for my mother's ashes

There's nothing I would just go What are you going to do With your mum's ashes anyway? Okay I wouldn't do it for my mother Oh If they were like Oh no no no no Your mother has to leave

We're going to detonate her in a park. I wouldn't be like, no, no, no, no. I just think, yeah, Grant, take her. She's obviously dangerous to be around. I'm not going to put me in the whole neighborhood in danger. If the police say that they need to take mum and detonate her somewhere safe, fine, do it. This couple are like, no, no, no, you can't take the garden ornament. If the garden ornament goes, we go.

If it blows up, we're happy to get blown up with it. And the woman of the couple, every time she did the garden, every time she did the garden, was tapping it with the trail. It's like she was like tempting fate. What's that called? Roulette.

Russian roulette. Russian roulette. What's your man's name? The motorbike guy takes all those big risks. Evel Knievel. She's like Evel Knievel. She's literally playing with fire.

People are really weird about stuff that they get attached to. Mr. Edward said, it's like an old friend leaving us. For God's sake. The hole the bomb was nestled in has now been filled, thank God,

with flower pots rearranged to cover it and the plan is to find a special shrub to mark the spot when spring comes. It's a bomb. That's comes. It's a bomb. That's ridiculous.

It's a bomb. Okay, if you had to leave your house, your house was burning down in Touchwood and you had to leave and you can only take one thing,

I'm going to say. It can't be human, obviously. What are you going to take? I mean, is my phone too obvious? I just think with your phone now, Apple have sorted that out for us. Like, you can just go back to Apple and say, Actually, you're so right.

What am I talking about? I've got the cloud. I mean, is it sad to say my... This is where you realise you've done nothing with your life. Is it sad to say my woven basket of hair care products? Yeah, you are weirdly obsessed with hair care products. No, hold on.

It has to be something sentimental. I mean, okay. So, do you know what I would take? I mean, you have to say this, but like, I probably would. Which means you wouldn't. But anyway, hold on. It has to be something sentimental. I mean, okay. So do you know what I would take? I mean, you have to say this, but like I probably would. Which means you wouldn't. But anyway, go on. You're trying to be nice in the pod.

What would you take? I would take photographs of my family. I know, I'm sorry. I'm lying. I'm sorry. I felt pressured. Nobody would take that. I actually was thinking in my mind.

I'm like, my family's still alive. My mum's still alive. I can just go home and watch her. I was, yeah. I was thinking though, I was like, maybe I would take like, maybe I'll in my mind. My family's still alive. My mum's still alive. I couldn't just go home and watch her. I was, yeah. I was thinking though, I was like, maybe I would take like, maybe I'd take my laptop.

But then I suppose they have all that for me anyway. So basically, I have no emotional connection to anything. What would I take? I know. I would take, I have got my dad's wedding ring.

I've got half of it here. Amber made me split it with her. So jewels. I would take the jewels. Yeah. I would take the gold And the money Because gold melts down

And you're not getting that back And I would take my Azera coffee Because that's six quid a pot Did you see That coffee And I'd take my Dyson Yeah I'd take the Dyson And the Azera

I would Yeah I think I'd take jewels But did you see that sippy cup what are they called oh the Stanley's the Stanley cup and the Stanley cup this woman's

car went on fire and the Stanley cup was just left sitting there and so the your man from Stanley saw that she had like she had posted

about how her cup had survived this fire and he bought her a new car I know but like I that's great and all for Stanley's I'm delighted

and I think they should build houses and airplanes in whatever Stanley's made out of but my issue isn't it's my issue is losing them

it's not about whether they break or not it's just losing them yeah you lose a lot of stuff lots I'd love to see one of mine

you've lost and you don't even know that you've lost it I don't I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know okay this keeps me awake

I don't know welcome to my purpose goes to meet live from Castle Bar in Mayo my name is Joanne McNally and my guest tonight

is Vogue Williams did I do that already I just I love consistency already? I just laughed. I love consistency. What can I say? Did you see? I know I'm bringing up Kim Kardashian again

but only for a quick second. She was walking around town. That's enough. What else? It's over. I've finished. I've watched it. It's done now. And I feel very upset. I have to. I've watched it. It's done now.

And I feel very upset. I have to wait for the next one. But Kim K was swinging around 110K Hermes bag. 110 grand. So she spent that much money. I bet the bag is in bits. I bet it's gross.

She spent that much. I bet it looks like something off Teemu or whatever that... I feel like she just would have nothing else. She obviously has much? I bet it looks like something off Teemu or whatever. I feel like she just would have nothing else. She obviously has nothing else to spend money on if she's spending £120,000, £10,000 on a bag. Firstly, I would say she probably didn't pay for it. She would. No, you have to pay.

They don't gift anyone. And you have to be on lists to get to me. Hermes do not gift you. They might gift you some of their perfume Do you want You're not getting Any bag They let me use their toilets Sorry that's what I meant

But I honestly think Because I think about this Sometimes At what point Like for At what point of wealth Like at that level Does it just actually

Get boring Does it lose all value And fun Because You Money means nothing To you anymore. There's no buzz out of earning it.

There's no buzz out of buying it. You can have anything you want. Like the buzz of buying something is when you really need it or you've worked to earn it, to buy it and it's special to you. If money is no object to you, what's the fucking point?

It's like, okay, so this is a very like Stupid example But It's like Us going to stay in Ashford Castle Like it's a real nice treat Yeah But for Jeff Bezos

Or something like that This would just be like Whatever I know He'd be like Why am I here at this kip? Poor Jeff He'd just like

Yeah Poor Jeff with all of his money Yeah He can't even get a kick At Ashford Castle He's dead inside. But I do really think that. I think there gets to a point

for people at their level where it kind of just loses all value. People wouldn't even charge you. Like, imagine charging Kim Kardashian for a Mars bar. Like, what's the point? You'd just be like,

just take it. No, I just... What's the point? No, but all they want to do is go to the supermarket and stuff. Like, who was it? Bette Midler, was it? That she built, like, a supermarket so she could feel like she was going supermarket shopping. That's the point? No, but all they want to do is go to the supermarket and stuff. Like, who was it? Bette Midler, was it?

That she built like a supermarket so she could feel like she was going supermarket shopping. That's the rumour. That she pushes a little trolley around there at night and around. I do get it through. Just to feel like a normal person.

Yeah, but you'd miss the supermarket. You would. I just hope that she has it staffed with people who just stand there in the dark waiting for Bette to do a show. It's probably like, remember when you were a kid

and you had that toy cashier yeah yeah yeah and it was great you'd push the pedal and the conveyor belt would move along and you'd put all the apples in a bag

and all you wanted to do was the ping ping ping of the till yeah yeah yeah ping ping ping I'm imagining that's what she has

set up down there well I think she doesn't even want to do the ping ping ping she just wants to go around and put stuff in a basket yeah she just wants

to put the balls of she wants to live like a common person like Pulp said I wanna live like common people she just wants to put the balls of she wants to live like a common person like Pope said I wanna live like common people yeah Bette wants to live

like a common person so she shops privately in her mansion in the basement of her mansion alone in the dark

in the dark just makes it sound so much worse in the dark yeah well oh god well I will say right back to the castle

but when people when people were mailing me they were because I've been doing loads of stories it's like I have a tick I can't stop I can't stop

it's very Instagrammy it's every single room you're just like whoa but then I had a few mails off and they were like oh there's a ghost

oh there's definitely a ghost in that room and it really terrified me because you know how I feel about ghosts I don't like them I'm afraid of them. I didn't say that ghosts in this room.

And so I had to sleep with the light on last night. I know you did. And I was like, are you okay? But you are okay. You survived. I just want to be able to see my surroundings if somebody arrives in my bedroom tonight. If there's a watery figure.

So then I know, like, if the light's off, I can't unlock the door because I do lock the door as well for the murderers. Of course. Yeah. But like, you're, like, you've got Alan down there. If the light's off, I can't unlock the door because I do lock the door as well for the murderers. Of course. Yeah.

But you've got Alan down there. I'm on my own fending for myself. I'm very much on my own. Trust me, Alan is. He's either in the bath or he's sipping champagne in his smoking chair. He's up to all sorts down there. I'm bothering Alan. He's like, oh, are you staying here?

I'm like, yeah, do you mind? Can I squeeze in there? Come and stay in my room. I'd be thrilled. You would actually. Just the ghost of Bette Midler pushing a little trolley around. We've got merch. Finally got our merch.

We've got gals of merch. We've got guys to merch It took ages Because we did loads of samples Back and forth We wanted to get Amazing quality track suits We wanted to do a good job They are very true to size I wear a small on the jumper

And I kind of regret it I kind of wish I had a large I like them super oversized I do as well Like Billie Eilish buzz Like hanging off it Yeah But they are true to size

So if you don't like them that bag You just get your normal size they're good to rot around in I've been rotting away in my I love I love it I'm sorry

I've just I have lost any interest in putting on any sort of clothes anything that irritates me in any way I just want to be comfortable all the time

everybody deserves to be comfortable all the time mtgmstore.com everything is up there now we've got water bottles we've got stickers we've got notepads

we're angry about the socks that haven't arrived but they will arrive but everything else is there so mtgmstore.com who was it was it Samantha Jones

Kim Cattrall said she said I don't want to do I don't want to be anywhere where I'm not enjoying myself even for a second me neither that's where I am now

it's very Adele vibes okay well then I'm not enjoying myself even for a second. Me neither. That's where I am now. It's very Adele vibes. Okay, well then I'm off. Yeah. And cut. Oh, and also, also, Joanne and I have two shows left in Ireland. I can't believe I only have two left. Final two shows.

So Killarney, INEC, the first date is sold out. The second date there are still some tickets due. So, um... It's our last show. That's our very last show ever. We're going to have to have a bit of eggnog. Killarney's got proper Christmas vibes. Yeah. Eggnog. Christmas markets. I hate eggnog, but fuck it. What is eggnog? If it's the season, I'll do it. It's basically like an egg in a glass from what I know, Jo.

Is that correct? I don't think it's not an egg in a glass. It's an egg in a glass. Yeah. Just an egg. It's poached. So it's an egg in a glass yeah just an egg it's poached so it's an egg yeah bit of hot sauce on it okay well

Calarney is our last ever well not last ever well of this tour yes goes to tour

number one it finishes in two more shows we've finished out tonight actually two more shows I know

and then we're just gonna smash a lot of eggs in and fucking get stuck in yeah just drink eggs thanks Joanne everyone thank you so much for listening

and we will see you again for the bonus on Wednesday God