My Therapist Ghosted Me - Celeb Spotting, Choppers & Mensa

Episode Date: July 8, 2022

They certainly get around these two. Joanne's in Ireland and Vogue's in Spain, telling us all about her helicopter rides and chance encounters with the great and the good. Meanwhile, a 2 year old joined Mensa and Joanne almost had a nightmare at Vicar Street. If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

Welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with me Joanne McNally and her Vogue Williams. Coming to you straight from... España! She's on her holidays. Mommy Holly books. She's on her holidays again. Again? When was I last on my holidays? Jo, you have the you have the

you have the calendar there Jo Joanne's always going off on a spa day treating herself non-stop I'm off to a hotel again down the country what are you what are you going there for

to chill out working I'm working no no no I'm putting pints in these hotels that's what I'm doing for yourself yeah we never showed

anyone the video of you breakdancing that your brother sent me on the slide oh my have you seen it Jo this

can I just say one thing by the way my brother what a sap he's such a little bully years ago I was 14 and Joanne

I'm just saying I'm not sure I'm able to release this footage because it's so embarrassing yeah you aren't able to release it but I certainly am I have no qualms about it folk I can tell you that much I've been sitting on this for two years I know a year and a half I've had this. All my friends used to go and do dance. Sorry, I think I've got tonsillitis. All my friends used to go and do, we went and we did street dance, funk. I used to do street tap, jazz, all this stuff.

And now I'm a giant lady. I've always been giant since I was like 13. So I've never been able to dance. So I used to go home and practice and I'd take cameras at camcorders so I could practice and watch it back. And when I say I'm giving it socks, I'm still so crapped, Joanne. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen. It's like, it's baby Vogue.

It's teen Vogue. You're all like gangly. I miss those days and it was before you harvested three humans inside you you were in your prime

it's kind of one of those weird videos like if you went missing they'd use it on the news I hope they wouldn't use something like that I'll be very specific

about the kind of picture that I want to be used for like my missing poster I used to do this in stand up I was like if my mother actually I should bring that back I can't very specific about the kind of picture that I want to be used for like my missing poster. I used to do this in stand-up as like if my mother, actually I should bring that back. It was, I can't remember what it was.

It was like, if she tries to use the graduation photo, like you have to be very clear because your parents always want people to know you were educated. That's the main,

like it doesn't matter if you look like shit on the day. If you're in a gown, you're going on the 6-1. That's it. You're on the news. So I'm like, I'm very clear about it. To use this photo

from the electric picnic, it was 2017. I was just back from, I beat that, I was very tanned. I'm in a kind of a neon glitter bikini. That's what you're using. Well, the one I would like to use for you is, you remember that picture that you got taken with Nadia Ford? Obviously I'll cut Nadia Ford out because

we can only use Joanne in her faux. Was it actually a brown faux gilet gilet like it's a gillet just call it a gillet it doesn't deserve the pronunciation of gilet it's disgusting

it's a rabbit gillet it's one of my back when it was acceptable to go around in a rabbit that's terrible but that was only that's a cheat like that

it wasn't even bloody rabbit I think it was just made to look like it was a rabbit oh god it's the worst photo of my life actually it's not there's loads more really bad ones it's one of my favorite ones of you for definite like the one that always crops up with me is it's such bullshit as well like because

like I know they have so many other pictures I'm basically doing a star jump in the middle of Stephen's Green in a pink bikini and these big, huge, chunky skateboarding runners. And I'm like, woo, star jumping. I hadn't got a lick of fake time on me. I looked desperate. I had hair, like, remember last week when you were just taking the piss at me?

I had long hair like that. So it was, like, full when I had the MacGyver, when I used to clip in random extensions everywhere it's the one they use for me all the time I thought it was the burger one they kind of used

to take the piss out of you the burger one crops up a lot as well I was only talking about this the other day I was talking to someone about the time I got a fringe cut in

as this kind of last minute decision in a hairdresser's and your one who was cutting my hair was completely out of her mind like she spent her mother had just died god love her and she was just talking about her

mother and the angels for the whole thing and you know when you're like I was looking at her going I'm not in safe hands here this woman is in a grieving process and she took it out on you it has a scissors and it's kind of chopping into me like it's wood like there was no system there was no process in place I knew what was happening and she's like anything else and I was like I was thinking of getting a fringe and before the before the sentence finished she just lobbed into my head now I'm not built for a fringe my hair is like I've got hair like thick wire like it's not got three people's hair in on one head if that woman had been thinking straight she would have said that's not a good shape for you but she wasn't and like that it took me years I remember I'll never forget

walking up to UCD in the wind and by the time I got up there to be standing up like there's something about Mary vibes but just from the wind it would just be like standing up like a door like a hatch I always wanted to have those fringes that like you'd see people and they'd be like slightly flicked back off their face but like a fringe never works out like that I would like one person who has a fringe to cut to ride us in and say that your fringe doesn't drive you fucking insane it's the real thing you you know I love the kind of do you know the kind of Spanish women with the really cool

kind of the kind of designers a feathered fringe no no they have the kind of really short fringe here they're called

a feathered fringe they're the most offensive of all the fringes oh I think they're really cool they are really cool yeah they go to

they go to a lot of dance tech fest they go to a lot of dance tech festivals, dance festivals, stuff like that. We're not cool enough now. We're going to flower shows and food fairs. I know. Well, I'd say you're slightly cooler than me. People will be

shocked to see me at Electric Picnic, but they wouldn't be shocked to see you there, you know? I haven't said you can be in the show yet, so... We still don't know if you're coming and that's not just for EP by the way that's for all the shows that we're doing all the shows

she might give me a bit at the end flash a photo just zoom you in and go hey and then just cut you again Joanne's not used to sharing the stage she doesn't like it someone was asking me the other day Jo they were like is Jo gonna be there and I was like

we don't know yet I can't decide if we want to pay him yeah yeah yeah we might zoom him in as well I've made arrangements already I'm coming well Jo

we're going to look at our finances because you might be you can come if you want as a guest you're more than welcome to fly yourself Joanne and I

are so scabby it wouldn't even matter if we won the Euro millions we'd be like I'm not spending that no way send a dinghy for Jo

Jo is getting the sea cat you're getting the ferry over to the sailing rail to Ireland for your tour come here I've had a lot of

people contact me about pwingies for the room pwingies pwingies so just want to say I have seen all the messages about Pwingies for the room. Pwingies. So I just want to say I have seen all the messages about Pwingies for the room. And I just wanted to flag, this is how funny I think Pwingies for the room is.

I told Peter the story and he didn't laugh and now I'm kind of questioning everything. How could he not laugh at that story? I was like, did you not hear what I just said there? Did you not hear all that now? He's like, that poor girl. I was like, you not hear what I just said there did you not hear all that now he's like

that poor girl I was like no no no Peter this is hysterical is Johnson out what does that say knew it knew it

do you know what OMG I actually do you know what i was gonna put him in a spoofer of the week right because i sent joanne something but then i thought we could put them both in a spoofers but i mean we know putin is more of a spoofer right we know that i don't think we can get away with calling a dictator a spoofer? What else would you call him? Like a murderer? A murderer? No. Megalomaniac.

Ah, come on now, Putin, you spoofer. Don't be such a spoofer. There's a couple of holes in your story here, Putin. Things are not enough for us. Putin. Too far, John. Too far. Well, Putin actually said

it would be disgusting to see Boris Johnson naked. First time I've ever agreed with him. As he hits back at the prime minister's jab about posing topless. And I just think it's so funny that the two of them are just slagging off the way they look.

It's like, guys, you're meant to be a dictator. Cop on to yourself. Don't be slagging people about stuff like that. That just shows you how juvenile they are. They're just such,

I can't, well, I can't believe Boris is out. In fairness, he clung on for long enough, didn't he? I don't think he lasts that long. I don't understand

why anyone would go into politics. The stress of it. And do you know what? You don't get paid enough for it. You hate it. You don't get paid enough for the level of abuse that they get.

No. Like, you don't get paid enough for the level of abuse that they get no like you don't get paid enough for the level of abuse you get you're making way more money than they are like then you can't have you can't have a private life do you remember Leo Vracher

was caught drinking cans in the park and everyone was obsessed with the fact that he had nipples Leo's are well he's not actually our Taoiseach at the moment but he will be

in a couple of weeks we rotate our Taoiseach will he be back will he be back yeah not actually our Taoiseach at the moment but he will be in a couple of weeks we rotate our Taoiseach will he be back will he be back yeah we have two Taoiseachs we like one's in one's out they're like a tag team

it doesn't matter Joe don't worry about it but he's actually he's quite he's quite entertaining Leo I don't know he's not everyone's cup of tea but he put up this thing

on his Instagram he basically was trolling you wouldn't marry Leo from Sinn Féin being like going off on your holidays blah blah blah now it was from the Dáil

but I just thought I quite I like that some of the stuff when they were slagging bars in the parliament yesterday

I was listening to it they're very funny it's a lot of a lot of gags going around a lot of clapping but that will go to show you how like

what would you say how same-sy Irish political parties are that we can swap out our prime ministers, our Taoiseachs, and it makes absolutely no fucking difference.

They're both, they're different political parties. Yeah. They're completely different people. But the only thing I like... You know people don't like when we get political. Let's stick to what we know.

What do you want to talk about? But what I was going to say is the only good thing about Micheál Martin is his son. He's an absolute riot if you've seen him. Shocking.

Shocking, actually. You're asking me if I've seen him. Are you joking? Do youocking. Shocking, actually. You're asking me have I seen him? Are you joking? Do you not remember I sent out a search party to find his Instagram? Hello?

Send it to me. I've nothing else on today. I'll do a deep dive. It's actually on my highlights under the title Politics. She's very political, aren't you, Anne?

His son's a knockout. We were like, well, well well well mijo you look so lovely look your eyebrows and all oh my god

do you know what I nearly wasn't going to brush my eyebrows up today and I said I'm doing the potty sorry about that I was saying that to Joe oh

do you know what I will tell you about my braids right Blink braids Did I say this last time Go in there 30 quid braids done Dusted 15 minutes

Blink braids bar in Chelsea Speaking of plugging A local business I've had a lot of Problems with my body Of late Kind of pains Places

I wonder why Stiffness and you know between sitting in the van and I'm just not haven't been great anyway Prada Peter was like look I have a physio guy that you should go to he's really good went to him his name's Martin I think it's I'll actually get the name but why are you calling him Prada Peter is he just one of those people that has a shitload of Prada stuff sorry so I I someone tweeted me about Prada Peter and I was I was laughing because I was like I must have said he's all of Prada stuff sorry so I I someone tweeted me about Prada Peter and I was laughing because I was like I must have said he's all that Prada stuff but maybe she just made

the name up herself but I was like I made me laugh so I was like he's Prada Peter now so I have to give this lad oh my god so I went down to this guy Martin and Muslim mechanics in Bray so he was like firstly you're completely out of whack. You're misfiring. Your one leg is an inch shorter than the other. Your pelvis has dropped. Like all this stuff, which is just what happens when you're living your life. When you're living your best life. Shit

moves in your body. An hour. I spent an hour with him. I I've never, I've never experienced anything like it. Unreal. My legs are now the same length. All the pain down the right hand side of my leg. All of my legs are gone. He was saying,

he had a man come in to him because I was joking. He was like, your legs are an inch shorter. One leg is an inch shorter than the other. So you're overcompensating on your right, blah, blah, blah. And when he told me my pelvis had dropped,

I was like, how low is this going to go? He lifted it. He was like, it's grand. I'm going to lift it back up. Pop, straight back up.

My pelvis is up my shoulders now. It's fucking brilliant. Anyway, I, it's grand. I'm going to lift it back up. Pop, straight back up. My pelvis is up my shoulders now. It's fucking brilliant. Anyway, I was saying to him, I'm going to have to get a club shoe. And he was like, he was like, you're grand.

I'm going to stretch out now. But he said a man came into him. Are they not, are they not what the sandals are? I thought the sandals were your club shoes. I know you're like, oh my God, she can walk again

I could always walk I chose to wear these shoes he said there was a man coming into him wearing a club shoe for 20 years what and no doctors

had picked up on it and he spent an hour with Martin and he walked out level and I was like oh my god you're like Lords

do you know when you're like Lords. Do you know when you go to Lords, they have all the crutches over the grotto? No. Who's out there to Lords? They hang in Lords. They have this grotto you go into and, you know, you kind of touch Jesus or whatever. I don't know. And then over there's all these wheelchairs hanging off the top of all the people who left not needing them.

And I was like, Martin's office should be covered in those kind of clubbed foot sandals. Have you not been to Lourdes? Have you been to Lourdes? Why? What do you mean you haven't been to... Your mother didn't take you to Lourdes. My mother never took me to Lourdes. No wonder you got divorced.

I'm not allowed to go there. Anyone in second marriages, they don't get invited to Lourdes. They certainly do not. Actually, what is Lourdes, Vogue? It's just this holy place it's a really holy place it's where you go for the pilgrimage

it's where is it where Jesus was born or is it where no Jesus was born in Bethlehem do you know where Lord's is I'm pretty sure I'll have to double check this now but I think it's where

no it's not where Jesus told Mary she was going to have a baby because that's in that's over in Bethlehem not Bethlehem Bethlehem's where she gave birth to him hold on I have to find my Jesus book hold on a second yeah you're meant to know loads of crap about Jesus That's over in... Bethlehem. Not Bethlehem. No, Bethlehem's where she gave birth to him.

Hold on. I have to find my Jesus book. Hold on a second. Yeah, you're meant to know loads of crap about Jesus. Lourdes is somewhere in Italy, is it not? It's in France. Oh. Lourdes is a town in the foothills of the Pyrenees.

Blah, blah, blah. Something about a grotto. Virgin Mary. Oh, here it is. Here it is. This is where we go. 1858, the Virgin Mary is said to have appeared to a local woman. Is that it?

Jesus, I thought there was more to it. Yeah, and then they go and they... Sorry, it's funny he's walking in, probably wondering why we're having religion class. We've got to stop talking about holy shit on the pod, by the way. How dare you? That's my faith. Just because you've got three Protestant kids who are going to hell. I certainly do not

have three protestant kids Theodore the other day he was asking me because his middle name is Frederick and he was asking me about what yeah Theodore Frederick

Jesus would you not give those kids a chance for God's sake Joanne my brother's name is Frederick and so is my dad's and my granddad's so I was telling Theodore

that was offensive her dad's dad leave it Joe leave that in joanne slagging my dead dad again um but uh but he was asking me about it he was like why am i called frederick and i was like well that was my dad's name and where is he i was like well he's dead and he was just he started asking me about death but i don't want to be dishonest but then i started saying to him and then you go up to holy God and then I'm like well I'm not sure

if you go up to holy God actually but I had to pretend that to him folk you're the one who kind of believes in that shit you might as well pass it down to your kids Joanne you're not going up

to holy God I'll tell you that much get ready it's toasty where you're going I'm going no no no I won't even make it there I'm going to be a limbo

I can't wait purgatory you're in purgatory you are going to be in purgatory I'm gonna be in purgatory I'm like seeing purgs would you not just tell him that um people go to a farm like dogs that's what I'm gonna tell my kids no because I feel like you have to be honest about certain things like when he was asking me where the baby when was the baby gonna come out and I was like really just I tried to avoid it I don't want to tell him where the baby comes from what baby is there another baby the next person that's going to be pregnant Joanne is you

100% oh my god I'm about as responsible as a drunk cat oh my god you've just reminded me as well I actually started taking the pill and then I just, I haven't taken it since. I took one. Yeah, I'm like that. I'm like, oh look, there's my pill at the bottom of my bag. I should take that.

What day is it? I don't even know where it is actually. I have to have a real think about that one. I don't understand. Like, you know, you know there's certain days you can't get pregnant on, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, you have to have an app for that though. Who knows that? Haven't a clue. I don't know. I know nothing about my fertility. I just know that when I bleed, that's a good thing. That's all I know.

That's a good thing. That means you're off the hook for another month. Speaking of bleeding, I was on stage the other night, Monday night on Vicar Street, and I felt, it felt like I'd...

Oh no. Yeah. And I was, I've never been so, it was horrible. I was on stage for another 40 minutes, completely confused, dazed, full of shame. Oh no. Thought that I'd leaked through in a pink jumpsuit in front of an audience of people. Couldn't look down, couldn't check it.

I was like, do I leave? It was horrible. it was horrible it was horrible it was worse than the panic attack and quirk you would have been applauded though for that people love that kind of stuff now I would have just pretended it was a it was a stunt for to raise awareness for period poverty yeah exactly people love that all over my nice jumpsuit I know I'd be like straight over like oh i think i'm gonna give your jumpsuit back vogue i think it's time that jumpsuit that's gonna crawl home after all you've been wearing it i know but imagine getting your period on stage i was so embarrassed i was like the shame i felt arranged i would have been i was like i'd be i actually feel less shame if i'd accidentally kill someone with the confetti cannon in the audience fair enough oh my god i would you do

that confetti cannon every night they They must hate you in there. God, I haven't had my period in so long. Honestly, I can't remember. When was the last time? I think I had it like twice after Sheetie or something. It's just because I kept

getting pregnant and breastfeeding. It's actually lovely not having it, I have to say. If I bled like that on stage, instead of saying it was my period, I think I'd say I'd had a bandage removed for a vagiplasty.

Yeah. I'm like,'d had a bandage removed for a vagiplasty yeah I'm like it's a designer vagina it's not it's not it's not menstrual it's physical improvement but anyway it turns out

I didn't have my period on stage but I was like it'd be kind of like I don't know the opposite of a gender reveal party I guess if I did

but anyway to anyone who was in Vicar Street on Monday the reason I was like opposite of a gender reveal party, I guess. If I did. But anyway, to anyone who was in Vicar Street on Monday, the reason I was like, looked like a deer caught in the headlights was because I thought I was putting on, as they say, a bloodied display. Oh my God. I'm sorry. We should probably put a trigger warning on this

because people get very worked up by periods. Trigger warning for kind of incels, men who live in their mother's basement and women who hate themselves because they're the ones who have problems with it. Do people mind about periods? Yeah, especially like they, there's this kind of thing in comedy

where if you're a woman on stage talking about your period, there's a lot of eye rolling about it because it was, people don't really like it. Anyway, I wasn't talking about it. I was just having it. So sorry about that.

Michelle, what's your name? Michelle Wolfe has a great bit about if men had their periods, what it would be like and how proud they'd be. The heavier the flow. It's true. Like if Dara O'Brien

got his period on stage, they'd be applauding him like it was some sort of rain dance. Yeah, but I feel like people would have been applauding you if you had got

your period on stage. If I'd handled it properly. If I'd been like, ah! And ran into the wings. But I was like, someone would say to me, one of the girls would be like,

Joanne, just put a jumper around your waist, you'd be grand. Around the front. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just a little bit. So I'm down in Spain on my holidays. Yes,

talk us through your holidays. It's great. Do you know what I've realised, okay? So, I am one of those people, and I would not like to be slagged about it. It's a form of dyslexia. Someone told me that if you can't tell your left and right, which I can't ever.

And everyone's like, oh, which one's the L? And I'm like, it doesn't work. I need to have a pen in my hand or I don't know which is left and right. And I have actually figured something out. You know the way people freak out about driving on the wrong side of the road when they're in a different country? It makes zero difference to me because I only know to drive in the middle. I have to be in the middle of the road if I'm driving. So I don't know if I'm on the left or right of the road.

And I thought, that's actually really handy. So what you're saying... Do you get me? What you're saying is that you like to drive in the middle of the road so as not to confuse yourself and fuck everyone else and let them

mosey around you and do what they need to do to survive the driver the driver is always positioned in the middle of the road oh I get you

so you're at the line you're at the line yeah I'm at the line but I don't know which way is which so it doesn't bother me I'm like I'll just hop in the car and I know that I have to be So you're at the line. You're at the line. Yeah, I'm at the line. But I don't know which way is which, so it doesn't bother me. I'm like, I'll just hop in the car and I know that I have to be in the middle of the road because I don't know my left or my right anyway.

I don't know what side I drive on in London. That's your little life hack. And to be honest, Vogue, you have enough going on. I don't need to know stupid, pointless things like that. Exactly. The things you're on a need-to-know basis, okay? Your head is full of important things and left or right

just doesn't feature to be honest I am very I'd be a bit like that I'm and again I would like to not be slagged about it either

because I believe it's a physical form of dyslexia but I can't dance I've actually I've actually never seen you dance I'd love to see you dance

I just kind of I've no rhythm I don't know I'd love to see you dance. I just kind of, I've no rhythm. I don't know. Again, like the first stage show I ever did called Singlehood, which was directed by Una McEvitt. There was a dance scene. Now when I say a dance scene, it was very low level. It wouldn't be anything like the caliber that you did. The street dancing funk.

But it was like right foot in, left foot in. And it was to the song my boots are made for walking that's just what I'll do anyway Una was like Joanne she took me aside

it was literally like arm in arm out it was like doing the hokey cokey and Una was like Joanne if you don't get this right we have to cut the whole

dancing you're the only one who can't do it you're doing the opposite of everyone else you're throwing the whole thing off and it was literally like

put your left leg in and your left leg out couldn't do it tell me this and tell me no more you're right-handed aren't you yeah are you left-handed no I'm right-handed but I'm I would have been freaked out if you were left-handed I don't know why you know with Theodore he was using his left hand loads and like I contacted his nursery and I was like can you just like make sure he uses his right hand and they're like we don't do things nursery and I was like, can you just like make sure he uses his right hand? And they're like, we don't do things like that. I was like, okay. You know, that's

Putin stuff. We're obsessed with Vlad's today. You can't force, that's kind of like North Korea stuff. But what I was saying was, I'm very attracted to people who write with their left hands. Because they spin their whole hand around. I just think it's kind of it's kind

of different it's kind of sexy. You look gorgeous. Jo look how gorgeous she looks. Thank you Joanne that's so kind of you. Is this because you

feel bad about last week? You were slagging me off the whole episode saying I looked stupid. No you're the one who rocked up with

that hairstyle you put that on yourself. I actually had to wash that hairstyle out as well. There was no getting rid of it. I had to wash it out. Last week, right, I had a week of celebrities. Do you want to know who I saw? Oh, I was going to say bumped into. Do you want to know who I saw

last week? Like, good celebrities. Ronnie Wood from the Rolling Stones oh no way yeah just sitting there now he I mean

you had his funeral what age is he he looked like honestly he looked like he looked like he'd been stuffed and was just sitting there

he does look wow I can't believe he's still going and I think he's got quite young kids where did you meet Ronnie well when I say I met him

I just walked by him three times and stared him out of it where I can't say where because I'm afraid I I just walked by him three times and stared him out of it. Where? I can't say where because I'm afraid I'll get in trouble for saying where. And then I saw, you know your one, Chiara? Everybody went to step a da-da-da-da-da-da. Oh, yeah.

Yes. I saw her and her fella and that I'd had a few drinks. And then I was like, I can't stop singing that song. You're so great. And it's like, and I said, I love you. And it's like was like, I can't stop singing that song. You're so great. And it's like, and I said, I love you. And it's like, no, I don't. I don't.

Why are you kissing Chiara's ass? I don't know. It's so embarrassing when I thought back on it. But like, they actually didn't really look like they were enjoying each other's company, I have to say.

They were kind of like just on their phones the whole time. But I suppose that's what people do. You don't have to give everyone attention all the time. Like sometimes you have to look at your phone 100% her face though my god what

just like it's like she had the skin of Gigi she just was like perfect looking like I'd never seen anything like it who else have you seen oh and the last one I saw was Michael Douglas when I went to the Grand Prix now they're only my best celebs there was actually other celebs that I saw like Kano the last one I saw was Michael Douglas when I went to the Grand Prix.

Now, they're only my best celebs. There was actually other celebs that I saw, like Kano, the rapper that I love. But Michael Douglas, again, didn't brush his hair. Oh. Now, Michael Douglas, is he the one who's married to Catherine Whatserface? Zeta-Jones, yeah. And he was in that Behind the Candelabra movie. I mean, that was probably his least amazing movie but I love that one

what a strange reference who like yeah was he not in like Basic Instinct why would you put behind the candelabra because

I actually I know I was like if I said anything to him that's probably what I would have said and he would have been like is she trolling me

I loved you in behind the candelabras Matt Damon's in that as well have you never seen it no oh my god i love it so much um but that's the one yeah but he was in the game and he was in he was in basic instinct he's like but when you think about it he actually has been around so long he must be in his 80s is he joe oh he's old yeah he's well old remember he got throat cancer didn't he say he got it from going down on women what?

yeah I'm pretty sure he's tried to blame his throat cancer on he turned it into a humble brag basically it's because I've

gone down on so many women so well that I've basically sacrificed my health Joe maybe Google that fact check that

also I don't want to get sued by Michael Douglas he's 77. He's 77. Oh, he's 77. Well, nearly 80. 77, according to who now? I have to say he looks older than 77. They're very cute because it's all very legitimate.

It's a legitimate love. Yeah, it is. And she looks fantastic. Even though I'd say she's hoisting him onto a commode most of the time. But they do look like they're genuinely in love. No, it was alright he was able to get around so the Grand Prix

can we can we discuss yeah the Grand Prix was great the Grand Prix so Vogue sends me a photo of herself

with her Afghan hair wearing her Afghan hound hair getting choppered into the Grand Prix with these huge big headphones are we

are we trying to make each other seem really unrelatable? Even spending the day doing our podcast, he was like, oh, and then we got a lift with someone else. I was like, oh, he's not going to mention the helicopter. We got the bus to the Grand Prix. We got the 184 from Badern to the Grand Prix. She was choppered in, Jo. She was choppered in like a truffle.

She sent me these photos of the her wearing the big headphones and I was like you look fab and then a photo of Otto wearing the big headphones

and of course because I'm Gigi obsessed I was like send me a photo of Gigi wearing her headphones and Bo was like

Gigi wasn't invited too white and I was like she's an either with Theodore and I was like she's an either with Theodore and I was like these children are going to wake up

Gigi's going to grow up with massive issues middle child syndrome you're not meant to bring any kids to the Grand Prix I'm just breastfeeding and I couldn't get

anyone to my auto so I had to take them but the main is that how you get into the Grand Prix breastfeed me I want to go to the Grand Prix

breastfeed me Joanne has to come with me she has to get breastfed at two four and six yeah Is that how you get into the Grand Prix? Breastfeed me. I want to go to the Grand Prix. Breastfeed me. Joanne has to come with me. She has to get breastfed at two, four and six. Yeah. Jesus, you're a needy baby. Imagine throwing a towel over my, like a tea towel over my head.

I'm just suckling away. But actually I got so much abuse for, because I obviously read comments because we got papped unknowingly and uh and i read all these comments it was so abusive about the fact that i brought otto to the grand prix and it's like what the hell do you want me to do he's got ear defenders on he had a great time poor otto wait for gg to be in therapy as a woman and she's like she's living her most privileged life and she's in there for trauma because she wasn't brought to the grand prix as a child in a helicopter.

She actually, it was poor Theodore. Someone mentioned that we were going to get a helicopter and I thought, don't mention that to Theodore. And he was bawling crying when he left because he really wanted to get on the helicopter. Where do they pick you up from? Like, where do you get, like? It's, so it was, it's in Battersea.

There's a helipad. And you know what I haven't been on a helicopter since I did the Bear Grylls show and they're actually so cool like I'd love to go on a helicopter ride around London you can just look into everyone's house they have pools people have

a lot of swimming pools in England I'm sure you could go on like a helicopter trip couldn't you Joe yeah we could arrange that we could could go on like a helicopter trip couldn't you Joe? Yeah we could arrange that. We could do the pod from a helicopter one day. Yeah. No yeah.

We can. Well considering how much you eat on the pod I don't think it would be the noise levels would probably be the same. Because I'm usually trying to get

a few things done at once. So I was allowed to go and look at the pits. I was there with Williams because obviously that's going to be my favourite one. And they bring you to was allowed to go and look at the pits. I was there with Williams because obviously that's going to be my favorite one. And they bring you to the pits

to go and look at the cars. It's actually, it's unbelievable what they do and like how quickly they change the wheels and everything like that. But there was a massive crash

at the start of the race and they basically don't show the crash for ages because they thought your man had died. Yeah. And then they showed it so then you know

that he was alive and okay and stuff like that. But they go so fast because they just look like little ants stuck to the road when you're watching it but they just i want to be a grand prix person a driver i went to the grand prix in melbourne and it was one of the most thrilling days of my life it's amazing yeah i'll take you to the grand prix but like i don't even i don't really have an in there it's quite hard to get to get invited I was invited who invited you?

can't be giving you that information Joanne what is going on? it's like you work for the secret service who invited you to the Grand Prix? I have to I have to be honest

it's great crack to go and see the pits and stuff like that but then you should probably leave before the race and watch it at home because you can't really see that much

you're only at one part of the track so everyone kind of goes and watches it on a screen which doesn't really make sense to me so like i would go for the morning then helicopter out yeah do you know what i was thinking though they helicoptered loads of people to glastonbury if like if you were being really bougie you could helicopter to glastonbury and helicopter back i want a helicopter will you buy me one I mean how much would how much is a helicopter

how much would a helicopter I did want to know that actually how much is a helicopter Joanne you can get a helicopter for 350 grand get me one

what oh no no maybe it 350 grand. Get me one. What? Oh no, no, maybe it's 5 million. Get me one. I don't suppose you watched the Balenciaga show, did you? I watched clips of it online. I don't get it. With the huge, do you see the huge big wedding dress

and your mum couldn't get through the door? Was that real or was that edited? It was real, but Nicole Kidman was in the show, Naomi we can't book him kardashian they just said oh like i mean they just get loads of famous people to walk with them but i think that their clothes have gone really weird i saw chris jenner wearing some weirdo outfit from valenciaga and i thought that just looks crap kim's very committed to those weird morph suits i know but like let's be honest right she looked She looked better when Kanye was dressing her,

even though he looks desperate in the stuff that he wears. Like these welly boots he goes around in that are meant to be cool. Kanye's kind of disappeared, hasn't he?

Yeah, he kind of has. Hopefully he's got the help he needs. Anyway, oh yeah, I love this stuff. Like, intelligence is so, obviously attractive, I'm not, this is,

but it's also, it's so fascinating. I find intelligence fascinating because, well, I don't have any. So I find when other people's also, it's so fascinating. I find intelligence fascinating because, well, I don't have any. So I find when other people have it, it's very interesting. So this two-year-old has become the youngest member of Mensa ever. Isla McNabb from Kentucky recently joined the organization after scoring in the 99th percentile of intelligence for her age, according to Spectrum News. Okay. So it's for her age because I'm thinking they're right.

according to Spectrum News. Okay, so it's for her age, because I'm thinking they're right. I did a Mensa test and I didn't get in. Talk me through that. So I used to do TV shows on weird and different things. And I don't know what the reasoning was for me to do a Mensa test, but I went out and I did a Mensa test,

but then I hung out with this group of Mensa people. I think it was in Cafe En Sein in town. So they invited me to like one of their Mensa group meetings so they all have like meetings of clever people but I suppose it'd be quite nice to be like going out with people who are on your level of intelligence like let's be honest I don't want to be sitting there talking about stuff that Mensa people probably want to talk about well I would love my thing with the mental thing is I'd love I'd love if I got in through some kind of administrative error firstly if you pass the test they have to let you in mental have to let you in so it's not like soho house where they can just choose or not choose they have to you have they have to let you in yeah so I'd love to somehow

trick my way in and see what actually goes on in there I'm pretty sure it's like multiple choice questions and I don't I I don't remember thinking the exam was that hard and I I didn't get in by like only a small amount what yeah I know I know I'd just be sticking my face I'd love to get in and just like my sign of intelligence I'd firstly I'd be I'd be rocking in with the Kingfisher abacus because I worry that I'm incredibly thick. Joanne, you obviously give off a stupid vibe, but if you ever read an article Joanne's written, it's like a different person. Do you say I obviously give off a stupid vibe?

Yeah. You absolutely do. You don't give off a Mensa vibe like I do. I'm, I'm very Mensa. If I had a child who went into Mensa, imagine trying to do their homework with them. Do you know that I couldn't do my maths? My dad was great at numbers. And I, again, I don't just have dancing dyslexia. I'm pretty sure I have numerical dyslexia. Anyway, I didn't know my times tables. So we brought home these cassettes did I tell you about this before

the tables would be done to rap and hip hop and marching sounds so it'd be safe I can't remember like four times four is blah blah blah

so if I if someone shot is that not the Irish national anthem it is yeah shit happy so the only way I'd know my sums

is to kind of hip hop my way through the first two choruses to get to whatever eight times eight is it's like it was a disaster okay try and do

the alphabet without going A B C D E it's really hard yeah 26 letters a lot to remember I remember Neil Wilson

he that's my stepdad he he's very numerical. And I asked him, I only asked him something like, what's seven times seven? 49. I'm really,

really good at my times tables because he sat me, when I asked him that one times table, he sat me down and I had to sit at a kitchen table for four hours learning all my times tables and I wasn't allowed to leave

until I got them all right. But now I know them all. Eight times eight times eight 64 I think it is I think I think I actually think I knew that that's why I asked that question I think it's the only one I know six times 12 six times 12 78 six times 12 cannot be 78 okay let's see if eight times 12 is 78. 6 times 12 cannot be 78. Okay, let's see. If 8 times 8 is 64. No, 6 times 12 is 72. I can neither confirm nor deny.

Let me see. 6 times 12 is 72. All I know is I can write hello upside down in a calculator. It is 72. That's my maths. I can write hello. And 8 times 8 is 64. I swear to God, it's this weird thing that I have.

It's because of Neil. But I tried to do, right? Oh my God, I couldn't believe God, it's this weird thing that I have. It's because of Neil. But I tried to do, right? Oh my God, I couldn't believe it. It's a weird thing that I have. You know two of your times tables. Okay, brain man. They just come to me. Okay, Joanna, I'll give you an easy one.

Nine times nine. Eleven. thank you so much for listening and that's that that's that there you go now that's all that's emails into hello at mtgmpod.com.