My Therapist Ghosted Me - Dating Apps, Workplace Relations & Romantasy

Episode Date: April 19, 2024

Where to start this week. Cataracts... That's where. Then, dating app profiles, whether or not Vogue is an "island person" and the whole thing with Jojo Siwa. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com/For more information about Joanne's gigs, visit: www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player Original Podcast. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Goes With Me with me, Bo Gwilliams and Joanne McNally. Happy Friday. Happy Friday. I was going to sing that Friday song And I thought no I won't Because it actually really annoys people now Yeah

But I like that you're becoming self aware I am I am But I am self aware But I'm not I sneak it in anyway How are you? I'm great

I'm back from my holidays Yeah It's good to be home Looking tanned Is that a sun tan or a bottle tan now i do try to avoid the sun as you know um but because you just can't not for two whole weeks i get tanned very quickly and very easily so uh so this is actually a real tan but it's so disappointing because this is going to be gone in a week what's the point i don't want it on me just moisture well the soap is hard like that's the reason people go on holidays is to tan well not not everyone but like very very white people like i just no i like to

hide from the sun but what i will tell you is and you know what i put so much work into all that pigmentation getting rid of it loads of painful treatments thought my skin was looking half decent before I went wear a cap every day wear factor 50 every day

wear sunglasses every day what am I covered in pigmentation yeah it creeps in there's really no escaping it I was the same in America it's like factor 50 every day

and then I double up it's like maybe that's factor 100 I don't know how it works if I like pile it on I mean the amount of shit that I hear and I don't know how it works if I like pile it on I mean the amount of shit that I hear and I still came back with freckles on my face no you can't avoid them

I'm going to start wearing that paint you know that American footballers wear on their cheeks I'm going to start wearing that all over my face just go around like the Aussies the Aussies wear it on their neck to just spit all over your phone oh god look oh no I have literally poured water all over myself. Great.

I thought I was looking well today. That is shit. Downy water. I'm back in Dublin. I'm in my mum's nursing pat because Pat's had her cataracts done.

Oh. Is that like a film of crap over your eyes that you have to get taken off? Yes, Dr. Bougat. It's a film of crap. Is it? That's what I thought it was

because Winston has cataracts but his are okay i don't have to get them done yet but you can see the film of crap i think it's like age spots for the eyes does she look really sparkly now she's got bionic eyes now one of them is completely bionic she can see through walls and the other one is still she you can only get one done at a time so i was like oh come home you're getting your cataracts done and then she didn't I didn't realize she's only getting one done this time she's getting one done next week and I was like well I'll zoom in next week I'm not coming back again I thought I thought you're getting them done at the same time that's what I'm here to guide you around the house like a like a guide dog but she's only had one done but anyway she's

absolutely thrilled she had it done yesterday she can already see much better that's wild I think all that stuff the laser and stuff I was like to T when we were on holiday I was like mummy has eyes in the back of her head

just so you know that so I was looking for her and he's like okay is the fridge door open or closed I was like closed

he's like couldn't believe it thinks I've got little eyes in the back of my head but I was like I need to be here when she gets vision again because I don't think she's going to recognize me. I need to like talk her through as she comes around.

She's going to be like, fuck, you've aged. Because you've been so dusty since then. Well, she hasn't seen me since I turned 30, I'd say, because she's completely blind. I was like, now you'll realize there's traffic lights at the end of the road. You've been breaking through them for the last six years.

Well, anyway, she can see. It's great. Is it great though? Will it be great? Was it better the old way when she could just kind of see?

You could get away with more. I think your short-sightedness goes when you get your cataracts done I've always said cataracts are God's Paris filter That's why I've always recommended going for older men If you're not feeling good in yourself They can only kind of see you quite blurred Aging's a pain in the hell

I don't know how she's been I think she's just been kind of pulling her cataracts aside Up until this point and kind of trying to live her life But now she's one eye done She's like a little pirate and then she's going to get the next one done Soon, I'm not coming back for that She's on her own now and kind of trying to live her life. But now she's one eye done, she's like a little pirate and then she's going to get the next one done soon. I'm not coming back for that. She's on her own now.

Ah, she's grand because she'll have such good vision in one eye that she won't even need you to be there anymore. She won't need us. I just came back to see what painkillers they gave her. My mum, when she gets painkillers, I'm like, I'll have the rest of them now because she doesn't like taking them.

Throws them in the bin. Throws them in the bin. That's actually criminal. It's actually criminal it's actually it's really embarrassing for her what a loser yeah it's like what they used to say

she should take a couple and a glass of wine and just be happy with life in Spain Spain would be far more interesting during the winter once if she had a couple of those

Zappa clowns and a glass of wine do you know they used to say if you wasted your dinner your mother would be like there's children in Africa would love that food to say to your mom joanne and i would love that middle-aged women would love those painkillers don't you dare waste that mom was like why don't

you come down to the hospital there might be like doctor there for you and i was like unless there's a doctor with a neck tattoo and a pair of snickers i'm more of a clean a cleaner look than you are like you're more of a tattooey i like the snickers trousers i'm not gonna lie of course everybody likes the snickers trousers i don't want to have to sense red flags i want to see them straight away that's me i don't like invisible ones i don't even need to see them because i can just be guaranteed that whoever i choose is gonna have thousands of red flags i don't need to see them they're there if i'm into them they're there we. We love a flag. Oh my God. So you know the way I'm kind of cruising the dating apps without any real intent, just kind of having a

goo. Yeah. And there's kind of the, it's called a celebrity date nap. I don't know. Like, I mean, it's not, it's just a, it's just another date nap really. But one of the lads is a hobby, cause I haven't been on them In so long His hobby I was like Do you know when you're like Ugh I need to get off this Because all I'm doing

Is rolling my eyes I'm obviously not in the right Headspace for this No Like I'm just rolling my eyes Like there isn't enough scalp For me to roll them back in His hobbies were

Hiking Ice baths And Sleep Hygiene Oh my god send me his details that's right up my street

are you mad he sounds great he sounds great a hobby is falling asleep hiking is a hobby is sleep hygiene sleep hygiene

oh come on ok you're a filthy sleeper I was like are we not even pretending to be interesting anymore are we not even lying about our hobbies anymore like last time I was on these apps we not even pretending to be interesting anymore? Are we not even lying about our hobbies anymore? Like last time I was on these apps,

we used to lie to make ourselves more interesting. Sleep hygiene. Joanne, I'm amazed that you find that unattractive. I'm questioning my own current marriage

now that I've heard about this man. That man sounds like, Sleep hygiene. Yeah. I'd fucking love to go on a date with him. We'd have so much to talk about.

Oh wow, what's your Orem Yum yum I'll tell you now It wasn't great last night No I'm in the red For last night

Rhetorical question Vogue I'm not in the right headspace I don't think I don't consider sleep hygiene A hobby I'd rather he just lied And said fencing And then we laugh it off

When we meet I just don't think Falling asleep I don't think Maximising your sleep is a hobby anyway I shut all the apps down

I was like fuck this it's a full time job that sleep hygiene business it is definitely what are your hobbies down as I'd be interested to know

I still have my old account like I haven't changed any of it so it's ridiculous I actually took it down because I was like

I'm a catfish I don't look like that anymore so I have to update my photos I just need to be realistic now I've been two years on the road I look like I look like I've got gout now And I need to

Those photos need to Mine is And Hinge It's like name something You'll never do again And I have your dad down Which just has to go Because that's like

Stag party shit I'd say that definitely It could be attracting the wrong I was going to say clientele but we're not there yet yeah clientele

the wrong Johns you could do you know what though I was in it when I was in St. Boris it is kind of wild to see because obviously

it happens all the time but like the really older men going out with the really younger girls. There's a lot of that. Because of course it's very expensive. I mean I wouldn't be going there.

When I was 20. No way. Money talks. I realised something about myself. Because I got back. I'm not going to go into. My little jet lag stories. Because I know how uncomfortable.

You are around sleep. But I'm actually so vain. It's shocking. So I got back. The second I got back. I was like. I need to de-feral. I booked. I went and got. I actually so vain. It's shocking. So I got back. The second I got back, I was like, I need to de-feral. I booked.

I went and got. I was so exhausted when I landed and I was like, no, I have to do it. I have to do it. I went straight to this place. It's called Sister Salon,

by the way. You'd love it there. It's these two girls from Belfast who run it. It's in Sloane Square and they do the best eyebrows. I went straight there from the airport,

absolutely dragging myself along on my bike trying to make it down to them because I had to get my brows done I booked a hair appointment I booked nails I booked a facial I don't think I'm an island person I think I'd need to get like I'd have to do a brow course or something before I went so I could figure my own shit out you know how wild can your brows get in two weeks oh my god my like i am just like i'm just a hairball waiting to spurt there's just and it's all blonde hair but i nearly think that's worse because i'm just so like just fluffy all over the all over the face is the way you look

but i was thinking i was gonna put forward an idea for you and joe you ready okay we should go on a friend holiday three days now i don't love drinking too much on holidays we'll go a little bit of hiking do a few bits you guys are allowed to drink two one of the three days we're away no joe yeah okay one of the three days we go away we'll go somewhere fancy we'll have a big day one day so you'll feel really hungover the next day you won't want to do anything and we'll do lots of nice fun things

no kids what about would St Bart's not host a team building weekend for us where we can like do that thing where you fall back

and you have to catch each other or not or whatever way it works Jo? it's a bit far for three days maybe St Bart's a little bit far for three days

it's like a full day travelling I think we're going to have to go somewhere European. I didn't realise our professional bond had geographical restrictions, Jo. I was saying to my mum, though, if she admitted she had an Instagram account, we could have got her a collab.

We could have got her cataracts done for free. Is she ever going to admit that? So she had to Instagram account. We could have got her a collab. We could have got her cataracts done for free. Is she ever going to admit that? So she had to pay for it. That's a tough one. Okay, so I saw this thing on the Daily Mail. Of course it was on the Daily Mail. Because I read that female section. Do you ever read that?

Yeah. And it's the most likely, the people who have jobs that mean you're most likely to cheat on your partner. Can you guess any of them? Vets. No, not vets.

Nurses and doctors, which are kind of like vets for humans. Take me through the list. Okay, okay. Teachers. They have high work stress and high expectations placed on them. They're often blamed for things out of their control and the blame feels intensely personal,

which creates high levels of frustration and low self-esteem. Both harm relationships and create feelings of alienation. Only another teacher truly understands how they feel. Well, I am not at all surprised by that

considering the amount of free time teachers have and please don't come at me teachers. I'm sorry but it's true all summer what else are you going to do?

You have to have an affair. How else are you going to kill all that time? And then they have ropes in the PE hall that's sexy. Really sexy. And then they

depending on the age of the kids they have that soft play area you can roll around in there. They have ropes in the PE hall. That's sexy. Really sexy. And then they, depending on the age of the kids, they have that soft play area. You can roll around in there. I was in, when I was in school, a couple of the teachers were married to each other. Yeah, of course.

It's it. You can drive in to work, drive out. It's like logistically, I can totally understand why teachers would have affairs with each other. Really, really, really do.

Teachers I can understand because they're in a position Of power It's like It's sexy teaching Somebody alphabet You're like yeah The alphabet has always

Been a very sexual song For me Indeed Since Benny and I Are about to get it on I'm like hang on a second Hit it A

C D And the best bit is L M N O P Gorgeous Okay another one for you bankers and people who work in high finance they have to meet targets

and maximise profits that's why they do the dodgy thing because they're used to cheating with money this is desperate now I didn't write this

by the way so if there's any financiers out there I'm very sorry you little cheaters everyone cheats like my mother cheated at Monopoly last night I'm just going you little you little cheaters everyone cheats like my mother cheated at Monopoly

last night I'm just going to go upstairs and call her a whore so they do it because because it's a tiny leap to do the same in your own

personal relationships it's funny because they have these so it's teachers bankers entrepreneurs which is kind of sexy I suppose

if they're good entrepreneurs is the is the most vague term like anyone's an entrepreneur bankers entrepreneurs which is kind of sexy I suppose if they're good entrepreneurs is the is the most vague term like anyone's an entrepreneur like you know if you're fucking

selling knockoff DVDs you're an entrepreneur I know are they saying entrepreneurs have affairs yeah but like the thing about entrepreneurs is like

it's so unattractive when someone's just saying something you're like oh my god I know that's bullshit please stop it's so painful to watch.

They're spoofers. Spoofers, exactly. Spoof of the week. Entrepreneurs. Dragons Den must be like a fucking orgy. There's a couple of those dragons that would get it. Peter Jones. Totally. I don't know him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pilots and flight crew. Of course. Free hotel rooms. Free. Pilots and flight crew. Of course. Free hotel rooms. Free hotel rooms. A little hot. They're all kind of hot. Remember the Leonardo DiCaprio and what was that movie called? Catch Me If You Can.

Catch Me If You Can. Oh God, he was so hot in that. You're like fucking walking white on today. I know, I'm kind of like that a lot, to be honest. What's going on? Do you know what I was thinking imagine working in an Undertaker

there's no way he'd ever be horny working there even when he left there's no chance of the horn he'd smell like dead I'd say

well I mean they're not are you talking about riding the body or no I'm not talking about riding the body I'm talking about workplace relations

I don't think it's the body's job to be sexy for you whenever anyone dies it's like god she looks great doesn't she look great it's like no she didn't look great there's an Instagram account called the mortician

that I've been following recently it's very interesting she's like this young woman who talks about kind of what goes on and well like how they prepare the bodies and all this kind of stuff. And one of the questions, she does these Q&As.

One question was, how when I'm in the coffin, do I not, how will I not look like I've got a fat neck? Is there anything you can do about that? She's like, not really, to be honest, because when you lie down, the neck does kind of gather a bit. Scarf, little scarf. Yeah, a little cravat would work. I was laughing though, like even our concerns and deaths. We're like,

can you just, can you boost the tits? I don't want them sagging down. It's terrible when you, like the people would actually have that. It's just because you're dead. You don't,

you know what I mean? You're not ready to give up the ghost. I just would rather close caskets. Thank you very much. Things that annoy me people who eat on Instagram stories I just cannot

stand it I was watching someone's Instagram story she filmed herself just eating just eating her dinner and I was like I can't

it just made me feel like I just really don't like watching people eat I hate it do you mean like the mukbang trend where people actually

go on to be seen to eat I can't believe that would even be a thing mukbang it's huge they make so much money some people watch

eating what because well some people so I think some people are actually kind of if they're lonely and they eat alone all the time they like watching someone else are actually Kind of If they're lonely And they eat alone

All the time They like watching Someone else eat Because it's like They're having their Dinner together And then other people Just kind of

Find it fascinating I do find it fascinating When the Asian girls Do the mukbang videos And the amount they eat And the way they They so gracefully Eat the noodles

And everything I kind of like it But anyway They're making a ton of cash Oh no That really wouldn't Oh gross Jo's just shown me one Oh no It's like but anyway they're making a ton of cats oh no that really wouldn't oh gross Jo's just shown me one

oh no it's a it's like it's like nails on a chalkboard for me and I know I've done I know I've done it before so I'd like

my deepest apologies for that because it's so disgusting to me that like I know I've done it at the end of a video when I used to work with HelloFresh

and stuff I'd be like and it's like even that is so disgusting so that's something that annoyed me this week there you go I do it by accident

I'm always eating crisps in the background and stuff and I don't notice the noise and people are like the noise it's like I'm chewing glass

it's so loud I apologise yeah it really bothers people like me so Jojo Siwa previously of Dance Moms fame now is going through a very controversial rebrand and she is the talk of the town I was not familiar with her work before this rebrand happened but apparently she had this YouTube channel she's got like 11 million Instagram followers and I recognized her when I saw her.

She's like kind of a camp girly girl dancer. She used to wear these huge big bows and apparently like sells merch everywhere. She's like a human Teletubby. Like as in people just bought, or like she's like a human Peppa Pig. Yeah. Such is her merch industry business.

All these young American girls and boys want to be Jojo Siwa. They want to be a dancer. Yeah. And she's like a Disney, she's like a Disney child. I think she's Nickelodeon, but that's kind of the buzz.

Anyway. I saw her for the first time on the Kardashians years ago because Northwest was like obsessed with her and came obviously organized for her to come over and like hang out with Northwest. And this was like back in the day

when she had all this mad stuff in her hair and that's how I know her yeah okay yeah so she was doing a little corporate for the Kardashians yeah which makes sense

yeah she's absolutely huge just wouldn't I wouldn't be her demographic because she wasn't on my radar but she's done this rebrand now she's come out now she got a lot of abuse

when she came out right because there was yeah she got a lot of abuse because these mums of these little girls were like, oh my God, you're a lesbian.

I'm burning her bow. You know, all this nonsense. Anyway, she's really leaning into her new queerness. She's got this new music video. She's got a new song called Karma where she's dressed like Gene Simmons from Kiss.

But the amount of abuse this girl is getting, and look, I'm going to be totally honest It's not the smoothest Rebrand in the world It is a little try hard Like she's dressed like

Jean Simmons from Kiss And then I saw an interview Where someone was like Oh are you a big Kiss fan And she's like who So I think Her I know

She's not She hasn't really been briefed On her new look Very well Which Isn't her fault Like someone should be Briefing her on that

you know we've dressed you like Gene Simmons you need to know who Gene Simmons is but I thought she I think that she was coming out

saying that she was really in control of her rebrand and her whole new vibe but actually if it comes down to it she probably didn't really have

all that much to do with it yeah Miley Cyrus's kind of bangers moment felt a bit more Authentic I think I think that's why

Jojo's Zua I think that's why She's getting so much abuse It's just She's just an incredibly Confident young woman She's talking about That she's invented gay pop

She's had a couple of clangers So people started To turn on her But oh my god I have I don't know how She is surviving it I don't She must she is surviving it.

She must have skin made of cement. She is getting so much abuse and she's saying, it's just part of my job and it's part of... But you know, kind of deep down... Of course that's hurting her. Of course it is. I feel so sorry for her. I really, really do. Now she's a multi, multi, multimillionaire.

She drives around in a car covered in her own face. I'm sure she's fine. But she's a multi multi multi millionaire she drives around in a car covered in her own face i'm sure she's fine but she's like that she's that child star she's kind of a really mature baby it's like they've arrested development but they're very mature for their age but they're also really immature for their age and she's got this new identity now and it's such a breakaway from what she was but i swear i don't think fucking Orr Kelly got this much abuse she is getting absolutely rinsed. The problem is because she's gotten so big and people are just

people wait around they're like little piranhas they literally wait around until you do the slightest thing wrong and then they attack and it's just the way that the world works you sent me that article and I was reading it and the psychology around why people do it and it's because the way that the world works. You sent me that article and I was reading it and the psychology around why people do it. And it's because they aren't feeling like it makes them feel insignificant in themselves when somebody else that they don't even know is doing really well.

It's like, why do you care if someone else, you're never going to do what she's doing. She's not in any way in your lane. Like there's a couple of people now in our industry that you can probably know who I'm talking about. That would very much, well, mine in particular, that would very much kind of sell their granny for a job. Or like be a bit like, oh, well, why did they get that job? And it's like, but you would never have gotten that job because it's not like it's not even in your area. And yet you're getting annoyed that somebody else got it. There's so much of that somebody else got it there's so much of that around yeah there is there's a lot of competitiveness and i think actually that article i sent you that one of the most interesting things in it was it in that one they were saying this um

the kind of why do people hate so much like why or why is the internet so full of hate and one point they made was because now there's a lot of um impetus on being kind to each other in real life like people are a lot kinder and more aware of each other's feelings and more respectful allegedly that bad behavior isn't as isn't as acceptable outside of the internet anymore so people let off their steam online which i thought was kind of interesting anyway i stand jojo she she's brought people up the wrong, which I thought was kind of interesting. Anyway, I stan Jojo. She's rubbed people up the wrong way. She has said some kind of annoying things.

She has, let's face it. But she certainly does not deserve what she's getting. If I was her mother, I would, well, she won't obviously, because she finances her whole family. Like she's the breadwinner, which is again, a very strange dynamic. I was going to say if I was her mother,

I'd wrap her up in cotton wool and take her out of the biz but I wouldn't really as in her mother clearly relies on her like her income and they're living in mansions

all over the place it's weird I hope she's okay I'd say that she probably does have a slightly thicker skin than other people would have

because she's probably used to it but I was saying this to you yes as well it's kind of like you wait for your for your takedown and there'll always be a little bit of a takedown like remember that whole jesus the i had a woman comment on one of my posts oh i hate her and i was like you you hate me you've never ever met me how do you hate me

and i don't even think she responded but like it's like that air airplane seat thing with me do you remember that when I've said it before of course never in a million years would I ever ask somebody to change seats with me but it was just something for people to jump on and I still get abuse for that today and it's like yeah I didn't even do that and people just want to to take you down it's like, oh, I just don't. Like, they want you to be an arsehole. They'd prefer for you to be an arsehole so they can be like, she's an arsehole. Yeah.

I'm not an arsehole. You're not an arsehole. I really am into an arsehole. Bo, I think a friend holiday is a great idea. Thank you. I would really like that it's nice to talk about because we all know it's not going to happen

but there we go we put it out there because we're such good friends obviously we've been looking at all of what's going on with Coachella yes little bits and bobs

little bits and bobs I saw someone online refer to it as the influencer Olympics and I nearly died laughing that online refer to it as the influencer Olympics and I nearly died laughing that's exactly what it is though

like supposedly so brands pay influencers to go to it now don't get me wrong if someone wanted to pay me like I'd be off like straight away

no problem 100% and sometimes they just go and get their picture taken and then leave and don't even actually stay for the festival just go get their picture in all the good spots and they just go and get their picture taken and then leave and don't even actually stay for the festival

just go get their picture in all the good spots and then just go that'd be me I know well no because there's loads of really good bands there

there's loads of really good music acts that you'd want to go see Blur were there this year and Damon Albarn started giving the crowd shit being like

are you going to sing along but I actually think that like Blur are not very Coachella. Like maybe people don't actually know Blur at Coachella. It doesn't feel like a right kind of fit. I don't think that people were trying to be arseholes.

And I think they're an amazing band. But like if they were in the UK doing that, like obviously loads of people would sing along. But I'm not really sure that people would know them over there. Also, and like correct me if I'm wrong please but is Cowichella

not a very young audience and like is Blur not kind of our generation is Cowichella not kind of 20s are they not more like a Dua Lipa buzz than a Blur buzz I did see him get very frustrated that they weren't singing along it is I can understand his frustration it's like when you do a gig and now it's laughing

you're like I know but you can't Stand there and be like Laugh Laugh Like you can't be like that Well you want to But sometimes Like sometimes you do

Sometimes people are like I'll kind of bang the mic And be like Is anyone here Like You've got to Let them know That you expect more

You know Sometimes you just get A very reserved crowd It just is what it is. But I guess he's just so used to people singing along and idolising him that it was a bit of a, you know, eggy experience, I would say. I just don't feel, I don't really feel the fit there of Coachella and Blur. I just, I just like, I mean, I don't even think Oasis would do well at Coachella.

No, I know what you mean. They wouldn't know who they are and you're right and it's just like people going to get their picture taken. Yeah, it's definitely a different buzz. It's like Burning Man but for people who don't want to travel as far as the desert really. It's like Burning Man for less cool people. Would that be right?

Yeah, Burning Man. It's like, do you know what? I think Coachella would really suit me because I know I could go home every day. I could have a shower. I could chill. That's I could have a shower like I could chill that would be that's kind of my my vibe saying that I am

going to Glastonbury and that's not really a go home for the day kind of vibe but did you see what Megan Fox was at Coachella

she was there with a brand and she was talking about Machine Gun Kelly and basically the engagement is over she told me yeah yeah

it is over but like I me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is over. But like, I just, I think that the level of, like, you know when you're in a new relationship, you're like, oh, this is brilliant. I've never felt like this before. This person is the best person in the world.

That's obviously, obviously you're going to do that. But like, they were like dripping blood into each other's mouths and stuff like that. They really took it too far. And now it's like, what does she say now? Oh, we're not really engaged anymore. She did an interview on the Call Her Daddy podcast each other's mouths and stuff like that they really took it too far and now it's like what does she say now oh well

we're not really engaged anymore she did an interview on the Call Her Daddy podcast and she I I have to say

I'm I was always a Megan Fox fan I was never not a Megan Fox fan but I'm becoming more of a Megan Fox fan so she talks about the fact that she got Dodds abuse for like her and

Machine I think he's just changed into Machine now hasn't he because he did because of gun violence he dropped the for like her and Machine. I think he's just changed into Machine now, hasn't he? Because of gun violence, he dropped the gun. So her and Machine were drinking each other's blood and people were giving her shit for it. And she said on the podcast, she was like,

hold on a second, why are you giving me shit? You let lads you don't know come in your mouth. And I was like, mic drop. Touché, Megan. Yeah, I know. She's like, I love this man Why can't I drink his blood Come on

Okay come on Come on There's just too much of it There's too much Listen I think that's Fair point Well made

Fair point But it's very different I'm not saying that I'm going around With fucking That happening to my mouth All the time But like I would really find issue With drinking someone's blood

Like even you know If you cut yourself And you lick it yourself Just get And it's like Like you just I would really find issue with drinking someone's blood like even you know if you cut yourself and you lick it yourself just get and it's like like you just I don't even want to drink my own blood

let alone someone else's blood well Jo I hope you don't mind me using you as an example but if I have to either drink some of your blood or do the other thing with you and I don't want to make you

uncomfortable in your workspace lick the blood or lick the other thing but the other thing will already be out and on the table so let's say there's two little petri dishes one of blood one of the other stuff but the other thing will already be out and on the table so let's say there's two little petri dishes

one of blood one of the other stuff which one are you licking? blood every day all day every day blood no I would lick the other definitely did you see that

she was dying about um just sit here we don't even know where our line is anymore is that too much Are you going to report us To HR

Nah you're alright He's on his way there now But Megan Fox Had some great advice Yeah Someone She was like Don't waste your time on boys

I know Invest in yourself And I was like What a great Piece of advice It's like I won't tell you I'm newly single but there

will be signs I'll be playing smack my bitch up on the ukulele I'll have taught myself a whole new skill we're all gonna always waste our energy but like yeah I'm gonna paint Katy Perry's firework on the recorder they're like oh okay you're saying that's how Joanne's been spending your time I tried to find some things that I might have said in past relationships of being like oh look how amazing

actually couldn't find any just to show that I was keep our cards close to our chest I did look I looked very hard couldn't find anything you're like

I hired an agent we did a very strong forensic search and I still said nothing positive about anyone in my past I was dead right

dead right Vogue I have a book recommendation for your book club okay love this if I said to you fairy porn what would you think

I would think of a magical forest with fairies and and porn sexual porn you're absolutely dead right

really? yeah so this is a new genre sorry fairy porn fairy porn some people call it fairy porn

some people call it romantasy there's a woman so this book is New York Times bestseller there's a writer called Sarah J Maas

Who has brought out A new genre Of porn Called Romanticy She has a book called A Court of Thrones Which is a very erotic spin On Beauty and the Beast

Where she combines Traditional fantasy elements Like magical creatures And mystical words With traditional Romance formats That sounds a bit Bestiality-ish Come on No Beauty and the Beast It a bit bestiality ish come on no

beauty and the bestiality i'm telling you i'm gonna write a fucking erotic version of rumple still skin and make a fortune oh god i just don't think i need any more eroticism in my life you've heard what i've been like this whole pot i don't know what's wrong with me if i start bringing that in they'll just i'll go down a real real deep rabbit hole of romantic what is it called again romantic or fairy porn i just think what a great i'd much rather porn be delivered through magical creatures than some lad fixing the fucking photocopier like let's have a bit of imagination here a bit of creativity sarah j mass i'm telling you court of thrones your book club will multiply in figures you'll be like so well i just finished i just finished the last book from the book club will multiply in figures you'll be like Oprah Sarah well I just finished I just finished the last book

from the book club Green Dot which was so like you should really you should read that it's very good but then I read another book when I was reading it

called Breakdown and honestly do you ever like because someone told me to read it that it was really really good but like I found it so depressing oh really when I was on holidays and I was like this is not how I want to feel it that it was really, really good. But I found it so depressing. Oh, really?

When I was on holidays and I was like, this is not how I want to feel on holidays. I feel really depressed. But it was very true. You read it and you're like, oh, I see elements of myself in that. Not great. Okay. Well, I'll be busy reading Fourth Wing, which is another Sarah J Maas book about a romance between a dragon rider and a teacher.

Joanne has pictures of naked leprechauns on her walls I've been there I've seen them she's very into the fae that's what they call fairies the fae it is it? yeah the fae

do you not remember I did that ghost show I told you and he was like oh my god is that a do you see those fairies and I was like no

I was like I'm not don't include that I was like I'm not doing that yeah you're like I'm not having a psychotic episode I will never live that down anyway I think there's I think fantasy I think not doing that yeah you're like I'm not having a psychotic episode I will never live that down anyway I think there's I think fantasy

I think romanticism is the I think I think get ahead of the curve and bring it into your book club I don't know there's still it feels like there might be a little bit of bestiality

about that I wanted to actually I forgot to tell you about this I read a thing in the newspaper this week and I do you ever watch

Curb Your Enthusiasm? Of course. Okay, so Curb Your, it's a really, really good show. And Larry Davis is this really grumpy man. And he had a fight with him, with this man who owned

a coffee shop called Java Joe's. And then he ended up opening his own coffee shop, Latte Larry's, because it was just a spite shop. So he was only opening it to spite the other guy because he wasn't allowed into the other coffee shop.

And I read this story this week. So there is, it's called The World's Narrowest House, Casa de Carrivo. And it's a very strange looking house. It's in Sicily. So basically it was known as the House of Spite and it was built in the 1950s following a dispute between two neighbours.

And they wanted to, it was built in the 1950s following a dispute between two neighbours. And they wanted to, it was common for the Sicilian people to add an extra floor to their house, but the neighbour wouldn't let this guy add an extra floor to their house. And whatever way the rules worked, if he built this three foot wide house, he could build it as high as he wanted.

And just to piss off the neighbour for not letting him build another floor, he built this huge high three foot house that no one lives in or no one uses and it still sits there today and I thought it was

so amazing that you could possibly be that fucking spiteful good for him I'd say he felt great after it I'd say he lived out his days absolutely thrilled with himself I think he might have even

blocked his own view as well, but he was like, I don't care as long as I'm blocking the neighbours. That's so funny. Talk about cutting off hair. Well, Fran Lebowitz, do you know her?

She's a huge, she's a huge fan of revenge. She says her two needs in life are cigarettes and revenge. And she's like, people say it's really petty, but she's like, it's incredibly satisfying.

And sometimes she won't tell them that she's gotten revenge on them, but she'll be like, yeah, I know why you didn't get that fellowship that's what she says she's like she finds it very satisfying she says it's justice needs to be served she's a huge fan of us and it's Fran Lebowitz if she's okay with it I'm okay with it I don't think I'd be I think I'd feel too guilty and karma would come back and get you Hello and welcome. Hello and welcome to...

Hello. Oh, and welcome. Is there anybody out there? I'm taking a bit. Come on. Did you see that one about the man who basically, he didn't speak to his wife for 20 years. They lived together and they didn't speak to each other for 20 years

because she upset him. Is that not the weirdest thing? Their son, they have an 18-year-old son who wrote into a TV show being like, please, can you help my parents? They haven't spoken to each other in 20 years oh my god because the husband

was jealous of the attention the children got so he ignored the wife come on oh my god how weird I know apparently a lot of men

struggle with that when the babies come along they're like oh hold on Paloma Faith spoke about that on Elizabeth Day podcast she was talking about the fact that

her ex-husband needed more attention. She's like, I have kids now. The attention has to go on the kids. Well, Spenny always says to me, he's like, because I'm very much like that. I'm obsessed with my kids. I always want to make sure that they're super happy. And I do tend to veer towards putting them first in every occasion. But Spenny is, he says that without us, there is no family. So you should really start putting them first in every occasion but spenny is he says that without us

there is no family so you should really start putting us first and it kind of does make sense to a point i'm willing to do it to a certain level but i think that for me i think kids should always come first but you shouldn't forget your relationship either yeah that's true i don't have either of those things but i would say a big yes I choose the kids I choose the kids I choose I have to put myself first Day in day out Which is

Quite hedonistic But that's where I am in my life I can't wait to go to Boston And New York And I'm just going to put myself first The whole entire time And do whatever I want

And maybe Maybe some things That you want Speaking of which We are Give us Give us an upload there So the 10th of October We're in Boston And the 11th of which we are give us give us an upload there so the 10th of October

we're in Boston and the 11th of October we are in New York what and I can't wait it's going to be great all the tickets are on

mycarapacegallistomy.com we can't wait to meet you tip before we go just in case anyone's looking for something to binge Baby Reindeer on Netflix by Richard Gadd

is phenomenal now it's dark but it's it's the best TV I've seen since I made a story I think it's phenomenal oh

check it out well I'm finishing Ripley at the moment you need to watch that it's really good but you have to get through the first episode

because the first episode is quite slow but I saw that reindeer thing so I'm going to start that next yeah it's really good now it's dark is it Andrew Scott in Ripley Andrew Scott

he's amazing in Ripley I honestly feel like he's stalking me at this point every magazine every he's absolutely everywhere he is actually he's like oxygen

he's brilliant though yeah he is he's brilliant we love him so I have a new podcast that is actually out today it's called The Apple and the Tree

it's everywhere you get your podcasts it's basically it's actually really cool so it's an adult child and a parent and they talk about different things

that have happened in their lives that they haven't been able to talk to them about before like there's some stories about coming out there's some stories about really

one guy has motor neurons disease and he's talking to his mother about how she feels about the disease he's only 33 so there's loads of really really

great conversations so it's called The Apple and the Tree and it's wherever you get your podcasts I look forward to listening thank you very much as if

I can't hear any more of you also I'm in Dubai tonight so it's Friday if you're in Dubai come and see Sveni and I our last show of the tour

and we're done after tonight so thank you everybody for listening and have a fun weekend Bye.