My Therapist Ghosted Me - Easter, Edibles & Publicity Stunts

Episode Date: March 25, 2022

It's FRIDAY! That means Vogue & Joanne are back with discussions about everything from easter bonnets to meat dresses. Get the latest on Joanne's dating and discover why Vogue has had just about enough. If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

so obviously this isn't the podcast to come for political insights and serious chat but with everything that's going on in ukraine we wanted to do something so we're just going to redate an appeal from the disaster emergency committee more than three million people have fled their homes to escape conflict in ukraine the disaster emergency committee charities and local partners are in ukraine and across the border in the neighboring countries and they're working to meet the immediate needs of all people fleeing with food, water, medical assistance, protection and trauma care. Donations to this appeal will also help people affected by the conflict to rebuild their lives in the months and years to come and a donation amount of £30 could provide

essential hygiene supplies for three people for a month. £50 could provide blankets for four families and £100 could provide emergency food for families for a month please donate now at dec.org.uk welcome to my therapist goes to me with me comedian joanne mcnally and up the duff professional vogue Williams up the duff but hopefully for not much longer

way my Fanta intake is becoming like earlier and earlier every week this is like the Prada Manjai

don't advertise them for free. Let them pay. Bleep them out. Bleep them out, Joe. Fuck that. Oh, oh, oh. Actually, on the off chance someone might send me a can of Rock Shanty Zero. I much prefer it.

By the way, it's a Fanta Zero. Much prefer Rock Shanty Zero. I love when we get to a stage where we're begging for like stuff that costs 50 cents i know because i can't get home i tell you what i got sent a box of buffalo hunky dories and i'm i have been inhaling them every day they are they are a crisp there's a few things i don't like about england right and i love most things because i live here and i'm very glad that i'm allowed to live here i don't like your your crisps. I don't like your sassos. I still eat them, obviously. Not that mad on your teabags, but I like a Yorkshire teabag. That's all. Not that anyone cares. What about you, Joanne? That's the least offensive political thing you've ever

said. Brits out! So, firstly, I have a cough. A COVID cough. It's not a COVID cough. I have been tested in and out, up and down. Like,

I've literally lost my gag reflex again. I've tested so much and that hasn't happened since I was bulimic. It's so bad, right? But because it's, it's literally like the large, I don't know what it is, but because everyone's so bad right but because it's

it's literally like the I don't know what it is but because everyone's so COVID aware coughing in public now I might as well be ringing a bell it's like leprosy

like people are looking at me like do you know the way if something's really bad happening you've been like you've been cancelled I look they're looking at me

like I'm Gary Glitter they're absolutely horrified and I'm like I keep going around it's not COVID it's not COVID and they're like have you done a PCO I'm like yes I going around going it's not COVID it's not COVID and they're like have you done a PCO?

I'm like yes I've done a PCO I've spat so much into tubes I've literally lost weight I don't have COVID Do you have abs though from coughing? No Judy

the abs are long gone now they've been they were doused in sugar and wine Well I know somebody who got like everybody

seems to blame their diseases on me like when Spenny caught COVID he automatically decided I had given him COVID when I've never

had COVID and then somebody else close to me has now caught COVID and said your disgusting kids gave me COVID and I was like

we had to test T last week because he's the same cough as you no COVID and everyone just wants to blame me and my family

blaming Theodore that's a really low blow everyone just wants to blame me and my family. Blaming Theodore, that's a really low blow and I know who did that and she should be ashamed of herself. The only thing that's suggested, I was, I was in a shoe shop yesterday and I was considering

buying a pair of furry Converse. They're putting fur on Converse now and I was like, this is a taste issue, Joanne. Spitting a tube again. You can't be sure. I nearly spent 50 quid on a pair of furry Converse now and I was like this is a taste issue Joanne spitting a tube again you can't be sure I nearly spent 50 quid

on a pair of furried Converse why would you put fur on runners it's Ireland so people like you buy them I didn't buy it

there's one day a year it doesn't rain the rest of the time you're literally like dragging around a dead wet dog on your ankles why would you bother

I have to be honest you know those Gucci slippers that everyone got that have like literally the. You know those Gucci slippers that everyone got that have like the animal hanging off the back of them? Everyone had them so much that I was like, I want them, I want them, I want them. And I tried them on.

It doesn't help that my feet are like huge fucking canoes. So I have these canoes with like this, basically it's like a horse's mane hanging out of them because they're so big. And I never wear them because they look so ridiculous. And again, yes, the weather is not good enough for the the slips and when it is good enough for the furry shoes your feet are sweating so you can't wear them anyway those furry shoes are an amazing example of us just being brainwashed into liking stuff like objectively they're grotesque but subjectively those Gucci ones they're a sign of like status, they're grotesque. But subjectively, those Gucci ones, they're a sign of, like, status because they're expensive.

So, like, everyone wants to have furry feet. It's disgusting. We spend our entire lives, well, I do, obviously, because I am a victim of, well, I was going to say internalized misogyny. Waxing, lasering, shaving to just literally purchase hair and put it on her feet. What? I know. It makes no sense. Well, I do purchase hair and put it on her feet what I know it's well I do purchase hair to put on my head so this is just an extension of that I suppose uh go look at the shoes I just sent you I wore those shoes outright anyone who doesn't know them they're the JW

Anderson clogs they're basically leprechaun shoes don't they look like a leprechaun would wear them Joanne this is exactly they're absolutely grotesque but were i to see them on someone i admired i would purchase them straight away i actually wore them remember we went to soho farmhouse like last year yeah i remember that woman when we walked into the restaurant and i was wearing them this woman was literally taken aback by how disgusting my shoes were and she just stared at them and laughed at me. Remember her? That woman. I haven't worn them since.

Yeah, we've all been, I'm still getting emails about those sandals. We've all been shamed in and out of wearing certain items. But like I say, this is how Crocs ended up back in our lives. The sandals. Put them on. It's nearly sandal season. Honest to God. Like there was something grotesque, like those furry slippers, but I'll see someone like Post Malone wearing them and I'll be like, the sandals put them on it's nearly sandal season honest to god like

there'll be something grotesque like those furry slippers but I'll see someone like Post Malone wearing them and I'll be like need here come here to me do you see the level of abuse

I get whenever I wear my own clothes like my own jumpsuit oh because I know they think you've stolen them did you see that post I did I was actually I was actually delighted

because it actually got loads of comments because of the jumpsuit. And it was an ad. So it's done very well. Thanks to you, Joanne. People think you've stolen my look. Everyone's like,

why is she wearing Joanne's clothes? Give Joanne her jumpsuit back. Yeah, justice for Joanne. Get on board, Vogue. You give me my fucking jumpsuit back. The Vogue dynasty is toppling, my friend. The Vogue dynasty is toppling. Soon we will be equals.

Well, we're not equal. Now you own jumpsuits and I can't wear them at all anymore. I own jumpsuits. They're my thing. I'm going on a date. When? So what I did make a promise to myself

that once, so January, February, March were bananas with the shows. I said, once things started to calm down, I was determined to get back on the dating scene. Basically, I've run out of content. So I'm back and I'm going out. Perfectly reasonable. Yeah.

Like the last, I haven't, like when I went into that hotel there, I was like, can I get a treatment? They're like, what treatment do you want? I was like, I just want to be touched. And she's like, okay. So I, I'm starved. I'm just starved of physical affection and attention. So anyway, I went back on Rhea. So I'm going on a date with the only other Irish lad on Rhea.

Well, that's nice that you're going out with an Irish fella. In Ireland, you're going to go out. Like there's only it's the three people it's me him and Dustin now

Joe you won't know who Dustin is Dustin is an Irish kind of Turkey Turkey puppet who's had a very eclectic career

and broad career in Ireland he's been in politics, music he's basically the he's got his own books he's the Morrissey of Ireland if Morrissey was a puppet excuse me he is so he's probably the Morrissey he's got his own books he's the Morrissey of Ireland if Morrissey was a pup of Turkey

excuse me he is so he's probably one of the most famous people in Ireland he's actually one of the and I say this I say this from the heart

he's actually one of the best comedians in Ireland so your man oh yeah yeah he is he is hilarious your man who does Dustin's called Johnny

he's absolutely hilarious. So funny. So, I'm going on a date. He's the only other Irish lad in Rhea. I've no option. We're just going to set up shop together. It's just, we've just decided that's just what's happening. Where are yous going on the date?

Can we know or not? No. Dinner date or a drinks date? Oh, drinks. I would be very, I would never do dinner on a first date. Now, I say never. Why would I? If someone insisted on it drinks I would be very I would never do dinner on a first date now I say never if someone insisted on it I will but that's

I kind of cringe at the formality of that I need a casual situation like I try to make it the first date as casual as possible I would do a drive by

if I could and just be like yeah I'll see you next time do you know what I used to do which you would think is very unusual for me I used to not get married Do you know what I used to do, which you would think is very unusual for me? I used to...

Not get married? No, that's always on the cards. It's never not funny. No, I get married after day three. Like some people sleep with people after day three, I get married. I used to go out, like I used to get a bag of cans when I used to drink. I used to love Bulmers. So I'd get a bag of cans and sit on the

on the promenade in Hoth see people and that would be the date she's just like us yeah look how relatable I am yeah

look at her there now drinking cans Amber still wants to do that for all of her birthdays and I'm like Amber honestly you're nearly 40

like we can't do that anymore and it's like no we're going to go to Martello Tower we're going to get a bag of cans and sit there all I think of is where am I going to wee

sorry I need a toilet no drinking outdoors cans in the park was something you did when you weren't allowed inside you were allowed inside now

that's what adults do they go inside okay I drink inside now one thing Jo adults do they go inside okay I drink inside now one thing Joanne I've hired Alexander Alexander's gonna clean off our balcony

with a power hose from the 9th of April ready for your arrival back on the 2nd of May because we like drinking out there we do well I like drinking out there

you like judging me out there yeah I'll sit and judge you and Amber and you guys enjoy your drinks this can't it's like I've been

smoking batteries I cannot get my head around how bad it is and I don't even smoke anymore I'll say no more about it now

I'll say no more about it now because I'm busy cock blocking myself constantly on this podcast I'll say no more about it next I'm busy cock blocking myself constantly on this podcast I'll say no more about it do you know what I sat doing last night this is another English thing that I

never knew happened so like I is Easter a thing in your house Joanne it was never really a thing in my house Easter was the thing yeah it's just not a thing for me house, Joanne? It was never really a thing in my house. Easter was a thing, yeah. Easter's not a thing for me. So over here, like, they have a big thing about Easter. And I had to make an Easter bonnet. Now, wait till you see this fucking thing I made. Like, it is exceptional. I couldn't believe how good it was. And I made it for T because he has, like, an Easter parade tomorrow.

I don't know. This is a new thing to me. Anyway, we're meant to make the Easter bonnet together. He's not even Catholic. He stuck one bloody cotton wool ball on it. I'm going to post it now,

actually. It's not finished, but that's what I spent my night doing last night, making an Easter bonnet. But, is Theodore a Christian now? I don't understand.

He's been christened. Yeah, so he's a Christian. So, in his school, I just don't, it's, because Easter to me

is predominantly well it is it's not predominantly Easter is a Christian Catholic event I think I don't think they have that over here

where like they don't think about like they don't have Lent Joe do you know what Lent is is that where you give something up yeah

so you give something up for 40 days and 40 nights and like I'm vague on the Easter details anyway I know that that's when

Good Friday where you don't eat fish then you've got you've got Saturday and then he rose from the dead on Easter Sunday yeah

I'll just I'll just tell you now if I rise from the dead if I crawl out of a grave in Shungana Cemetery and arrive back to brunch after being dead for a couple of days

and the only thing that happens is you hide an egg in the garden to celebrate I'll be absolutely raging like there has to be more fanfare than that or hot cross buns

with the cross that he died on melted into the brunch that's so imagine I killed myself for humanity and all that happened was once a year they sold a bag of crisps with little blades in them and humanity and all that happened was once a year

they sold a bag of crisps with little blades in them and that was all that was that's all that happened. I'd be absolutely raging. He didn't even get a parade. Patrick gets a parade for doing nothing.

He didn't even get snakes at Ireland. There's no such thing. Jesus doesn't even get a parade on Easter Sunday. What was your one's name? You know the most recent one. What's Jesus got to do with eggs? It's not like.

Now that's, you're turning it into something else. That's people who don't do Easter for like Jesus. That's people who do Easter for the Easter bunny. That's kind of your parade. No, we did. When we were younger, we all got eggs. And there was some chat about a rabbit and stuff. Yeah, the rabbit, the Easter bunny brings the eggs,

but he's nothing to do with Jesus. No shit Yeah well Sorry you thought That we were all Bringing eggs and bunnies Around for Jesus And hot cross buns

So where do the Easter Where do the Easter eggs Come from then The same place As the fucking tooth fairy No no no no It's just made up No

Well I know I know I'll tell you what else I was doing this week. Getting annoyed with everyone. Small things. This guy picked me up in a taxi the other day. And like he just drove the taxi like four meters away from where I was standing. I felt such an intense amount of rage about it.

And like the only thing I could put it down to was being pregnant. Poor Spencer's driving me up the fucking walls as well. And he's not even doing anything. Just anyone's general presence around me bothers me now except not the kids I like them I can understand that

but anyone else I can understand that I think you should from now on like you're a couple of weeks away from the birth a couple of weeks are you

what's going on no I'm for longer than a couple of weeks that's quite a long time for me to hate the world really but I keep it in myself I think you should just stay indoors sit in that paddling pool and let nature take its course wait why bother even going to the hospital you don't have to deal with

taxi men and all just stay in the house oh god no because they're so nice to you in hospital that's the best that's the best treat of it all it's the only time when when everyone's like really nice to you in hospital that's the best that's the best treat of it all it's the only time when everyone's like really nice to you and they understand that you just feel horrendous and they're just kind and there's loads of

nice takeaway options in the hospital I'm around like it's it's just a nice place I might get Rose's tie for lunch

I'm so lazy I'd just be like I'm just going to do it in the house I'm in the house no but then you'd have to clean up the mess ugh yeah I'm just going to do it I've got a Dyson I'd just be like I'm just going to do it in the house I'm in the house no but then you'd have to clean up the mess ugh

yeah I'm just going to do it I've got a Dyson I'd just be like just hoover up the umbilical cord there Dyson can do anything do you know what I was thinking though like the baby

like there isn't that much time left for the baby you've managed to avoid an entire pregnancy I know it's incredible pretty much it's absolutely incredible I couldn't have timed it better

you couldn't have timed well I couldn't have timed it better for you I did that for you I'm gonna build my tour around your fertility for the rest of our professional career together because it really suits me it actually really suits me as well I don't well I felt a lot a lot of times I felt like I was missing out I have to be honest any morning sickness yeah I was I was violently ill yesterday for no reason honestly I know I'm talking my again, but it kind of keeps me on the straight and narrow. Do you know what? I heard this, like,

that when the baby comes out, it's like wearing, like, a wax jacket. It's covered in wax. Is that true? Like a candle? Yeah, they're, like, grey. They're not pretty when they come out. But in fairness, they've just been, like, sitting in water and, like, scrunched up into a ball.

No one's going to be cute when they come out like that that's why I come to terms with that that's why I'd have a c-section so the baby comes out with a full face of makeup perfectly formed yeah and a nice blowy a nice curly a bouncy a bouncy blow dry oh Jo didn't know what I meant by blowy there I didn't mean that no Jo Jo for god's sake I'm over that stage now because I'm on baby three so I understand

that like babies are ugly when they come out like anyone parading around their newborn being like look how cute

it's like come on come on be honest with yourself they're not they're not when they first come out I guess it's hormonal

I guess you kind of have to be a bit deluded or you just leave it behind you wouldn't you and move on with your life you'd be like that's a two out of ten not for me

back in the cab oh my god Joanne we're slagging babies looks again do you know what though I was trying to find pictures of myself and it really does shock me I know like

my parents weren't going through a great time when I was born they broke up not long after and like I was definitely a mistake but there is like very little evidence that I was ever born because like I keep going back to be like did I used to look like Gigi well I'll never know I'll never know well I'm adopted so I trump you so you can't always use that there was no photos of me until I was 10 know. Well, I'm adopted, so I trump you. You can't always use that. There was no photos of me until I was 10 years of age when I walked in my bare feet from the orphanage to my parents' house with nothing but a sliced pan for sustenance.

I'd webbed feet from being abused in the orphanage. So there you go, Vogue, okay? Sorry you don't have any photos of you until you were six months of age. Hope you're okay. Okay, let's talk about what actually't have any photos of you until you were six months of age hope you're okay okay let's talk about what actually happened with Joanne she was adopted

at six months old and she like her parents wanted her so much that she has loads of pictures of herself you've way more than me so even though

you were adopted at six months old your parents wanted you more than mine wanted me okay it was actually

okay three months I think I was adopted were you three months wanted you more than mine wanted me okay it was actually okay three months I think I was adopted were you three months oh great all I know is I was driving at the time I drove myself

from the orphanage to my parents house that was it I didn't walk I drove I indicated in parked up reversed

did a U did a three point turn outside the house reversed around a corner and parallel parked like a boss just walked into the gaff and was like did a three-point turn outside the house reversed around a corner and parallel parked like a boss just walked into the gaff

and was like where will I put my stuff that was basically it that's very interesting considering you still don't know how to drive no Vogue gear roads

been shipping you around the country Vogue again attention to you're low on the detail I can't drive my license was revoked

technical glitch yeah but did you ever have a full license do you know yes do you know I had a full license do you know what the

the most insulting thing anyone's ever said to me so apparently after the show one of the nights there was a girl standing outside she was like

she was saying to the bouncer I think she was saying she was going to teach me how to drive I can't remember but anyway she was like she's a real Fiat 500 girl isn't that so insulting you kind of are no what kind of car person are you then

okay fine a smart car I'll get an electric car so then it's tied up at night so I can't lose it it's like chained plugged in no but the problem with you and an electric car then you'd forget to charge it and like it just has a whole host of other problems like we have to really consider when we're buying things for Joanne that she won't like lose them or fucking I went in

blow them up do you know in one do you know that jewellery shop one time lane yeah I love that place yeah so I went in the other day Look I bought those knot rings You have one of them You're the one who shopped it She's sound She is sound

And she was like Do you want I know you lose things So do you want like A box Or like You know like one of those bags Or whatever

Well well well I was like you're dead right actually If you fucking If you wouldn't mind chipping them both please You know, like one of those bags or whatever. Well, well, well. I think your dad, right, actually, if you wouldn't mind chipping them both, please. Like a dog. She actually loses, she loses the rings off her own fingers. God, I'd lose my own eyes if they weren't stitched into my head.

No, you're kind of good. Like you never lose any of the jewels you take on me, but then I suppose I wouldn't know. Don't mention the war. I'd just forget that they were there. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams, and the slightly bloke-ier one, Joanne McNally!

Hola. I think we're on the same level come here's me I wanted to I wanted to touch on this because we were talking about Heidi Montag last week

do you remember yes when she took out that so actually it wasn't a bag of liver she took out it was a bison heart and she's been eating

like she likes to eat raw things I just think it's a lot of bollocks like you watch her eating it and honestly she looks like she's about to retch and she's just eating this big chunk of liver or a raw bison heart and she says it's like great for your body supposedly but there's a whole movement of people who are doing shit like this she was eating raw testicles and putting it online. For me, I just think it's a publicity stunt.

100% of course it is. So I actually looked into some of the biggest, you're going to know all of these and some of them I was like, that's a publicity stunt. Just to say the,

they really got me. The bison thing, like if you're eating a bison heart, you're doing that in the privacy of your own home with a knife and fork. You're not snacking

on a bison heart like it's a baby bell in the middle of the road during the day knife and fork you're not snacking on a bison heart like it's a baby bell in the middle of the road during the day it's not a snack oh god so of course it's a pure it's not a snack

so I was looking into yeah publicity stunts Heidi is no stranger to a publicity stunt remember she had those 10 surgery operations in one day

I mean it's it's an extravagant expensive one but supposedly it must be so exhausting to have your entire career driven by trying to stay

in the press like trying to stay relevant it would be pretty hard but like even people like Lady Gaga and like Lady Gaga

remember she wore that raw meat dress yeah but the gas thing about her wearing that meat dress remember she had the little ham hat and everything she had a little bit of meat

in her head like a hat she um she said that was because of she was said well this is the thing I mean do you perfume yourself or do you season yourself before you go to an event dressed in a meat dress I just don't think you'd even bother showering is it Chanel number five or is

it Chinese five spice what are we doing here but she I actually looked into it and she it was to do what she said after it was to raise awareness for is it gay rights in the military when they were still

at that don't don't say don't tell thing and so she was doing it to raise awareness for that and I was like come on

that's like me being caught doing drugs and say I'm fuck I'm actually raising awareness for the Northern Irish Protocol like it's bullshit

Joanne's been done for embezzling money oh she's raising awareness for the Northern Irish Protocol like it's bullshit Joanne's been done for embezzling money oh she's raising awareness for direct provision come on they're not even connected I'm just imagining me getting done for like

shooting up in an alleyway and me being like oh it's to raise awareness for female education in Afghanistan you could just go on and on couldn't you Brittany, Madonna, Christina scoring at the VMAs.

Remember that? Yeah, that was a bit, that's a bit sexy though. That was a little bit sexy. Now this is one, right? And because I loved this movie when it came out, but I didn't know

all the shit behind it. So the Blair Witch Project, before the premiere, the filmmakers stated that the movie was 100% real. The actors were missing and assumed dead and they never made

a public appearance so that was believed and they took it a step further and hung missing posters around for the main actors because it cost them 22 grand to make

and it ended up grossing more than 250 million isn't it did you know that they made that whole thing up I didn't know I don't remember

that happening at the time but that's impressive one of the best publicity stunts remember Catherine Ryan pretended she had her ass implants had gone wrong before she went on tour I'd love an L publicity stunt did she actually have ass implants?

no no no it was a publicity stunt I tell you before we go on tour I'm going to be ramming my tongue down your throat at every opportunity you know that pap who stands outside Global you'll be getting the wear what lies you will have to think of a few things. You don't need a publicity stunt. You're in the public eye already.

All you need to do is take off your wedding ring for a day and saunter around town and like make a big scene of it and you'll be absolutely everywhere. Whenever I'd leave Global and I'd leave the radio show, I would always get papped. And we had this game, Pete and I, that we were going to do and I was going to have to leave with like a different thing so the first week it was a baguette just like a giant baguette just in my hand and you know what for the first time ever the pictures

didn't go anywhere they just didn't print them and like I was going to walk out with like a handful of like cooked spaghetti and stuff like that and like just real random shit and like they wouldn't even do the baguette they caught me straight away and were like we're not doing that you dope that was so funny

that baguette thing was so funny I was absolutely raging I had to get that baguette one of the stories this week that made me laugh loads was Mike Tyson

is after bringing out his own line of edibles but they're in the shape of tiny ears because you remember he bit your man's ear off. They look like little pork scratchings. They look like they once

wore ears themselves. They're so bizarre looking. Yeah. So much of this story makes me laugh. Firstly, with edibles you're supposed to start

with a low dose, right? But yet they keep putting edibles they keep turning like putting edibles in jellies and stuff. You're never going to start with a low dose. Put it they keep putting edible they keep turning like putting edibles in jellies and stuff which you're never going to start with the low dose put it in like a sardine or something put it in an onion something you don't want to gorge on you're obviously going to overdose on edibles if they're putting them in something delicious like harry bow but also i think

there's something weirdly unethical about him making money off biting some lad's ear off it's like your one bobbit what was her first was it Lorena Bobbitt who chopped her husband's dick off

there was loads there's loads of those stories no there was one really famous story he was cheating on her or something anyway she chopped his dick off but I was like

wouldn't it be great it'd be like if she was selling edible dicks and then I was like but that's literally the entire hen industry so i was like it would be a genius move for me to do something similar bring out my own dick merch and then chip into an already existing market what's going to be in your dick merch just

edible dicks well like dick straws dick everything all the hen party stuff except it's it's mine and it's from an it's from a life event. I've got to be honest, I think that's a saturated market. It'll be personal. There's no room for more dicks. Doing something really shameful or criminal and then making money off it

in a fun way later. It's kind of bizarre, you know? It's like if Conor McGregor brought out little jellies of him punching some LVAD in the face at a pub and we're like, nah, gas. I know.

If we're making edibles of things we're ashamed of in our past, you'd have an edible line with Winston's body. Or Gigi's legs. Gigi has great legs. I don't think she has our legs. I've looked at them. I've looked at them closely. I don't think she has them don't think she has her legs i've looked at them i've looked at them closely i don't think she has them i think she's gotten away with it i think she might have

the matthews legs it's so funny whenever one of them throws an absolute melt and i'm like that's not for my family that's yours oh yeah i've had that same as when i found my birth parents they're like i was always hilarious in school oh yeah where does the derangement of the Vargas fans come from nothing to do with me love alright yeah branch that's handy

in fairness did you not get a giggle out of the ear edibles it's your man's ears it's not even his ears boxing blows my mind I don't understand why anyone

would want to watch someone kick the shit out of someone else well I went remember Spenny did his charity boxing match it was really bad he was doing it against wayne bridge and he was told wayne bridge has never boxed before well he was sorely mistaken oh really wayne bridge was like literally like he was like why are you so confident and like you know the way spenny is so like spenny was literally

like i'm gonna beat the shit out of him like and spenny was really confident it was on tv and everything and i was there with Jane his mom watching it and it was really bad like I really was just like oh god please make this end god love him

like and you think it's a little bit funny watching Spenny get boxed but it wasn't no that's horrible that's horrible it was he really like

like oh I felt so sorry for him that's horrible and like even watching someone get put but the white collar boxing makes me laugh it's like these city boys who just kind of kind of put each other

they just kind of clothe each other for half an hour in a gym somewhere and then go for points call themselves boxers they're like cats cats do you know remember we tried to do boxing didn't we I would love to learn it as I actually

really enjoyed it and it'd be handy for self-defense classes but because I work nights if I have a night off I don't want to spend at a leisure center learning how to box

just give me mace and a pair of nunchucks and I'll be grand. That'll be my self-defense. I think that's legal. Excuse me I don't leave any Pornhub windows open

I'm very sure to close them right she's very discreet Jo she's very discreet I'm very discreet there's always an extra one that pops up so you can't

don't get caught with that one I'm surprised you haven't started your own porn channel with John Belton directing oh I'm going to take some time off Instagram here I wanted your opinion you know the way that like it's like when people take like a couple of days off Instagram they're like I have to I have to take some time off for myself like I won't be posting for a while and we're always just like

just take some time off and don't say anything but I want to take like a lot of time off I think I'm gonna take like three or four weeks off I think you should because you're getting irritated by it I think it's time to go you need a digital detox I think I need a digital detox people are getting on my nerves I'm starting to like unfollow and like and restrict people

I think it's time I'm going to take like three or four weeks off but I don't think I'm going to notify anyone just do it just slip away silently into the dark no one cares I'll slip away into the dark oh my god I actually can't wait when he was like your last three days I was like right well I'll show you it's so it's it's incredibly addictive oh my god that home page bit or whatever it's called the the the search page I like I was

sitting beside Spencer and I was like look what I'm watching I know I've been on this page for an hour I was like how do I have this time it's so embarrassing because I'm like

not watching what's actually what we're meant to be watching and I'm looking at people squeezing spots my favourite sometimes I'll take out my phone on a plane even though I know

it's not working and I'll just kind of try and scroll through like a neutered dog do you know like a neutered dog would try and kind of pathetically try and shag its own bed

even though it knows that nothing's going to happen that's me scrolling on an airplane like poor Winnie like poor little Winnie my UK tour is on sale it's all on my website

jimamonampicnight.com I'm kind of going everywhere And I will have a kind of A specific venue listing up soon But And Irish Still There's still tickets

For the extra Vicar Streets That we put on My plugs are so boring Vogue you plug something Yours are better fun I don't think I have anything to plug Just the tan thing is still there It goes to 20

What else Oh do you know what Let's plug something for John Belton you know those amazing mats he gives us that are basically like art

his ride girlfriend Adrian they're doing a discount John 20 on their flowstate.ie mats and they're amazing gym mats

and you can wash them in the washing machine can you I washed mine the other day I was using mine as a rug because it's so pretty and then I realised it was getting wrecked.

Yeah, oh, I've wrecked mine and I shoved it in the washing machine. 20 minutes, express wash. So, Vogue, when I was in Belfast, I went in for this facial into Array Aesthetics. They very kindly invited me in.

You know me. You were meant to tell me about this facial. So the facial was the Revive, which is lovely. It's like the new perfunerel. But they were telling me about this thing called Tretanol,

which is basically retin like the new profinarelle but they were telling me about this thing called tretanol which is basically retinol but better and you just put it on your actual face and it's like you put retinol on your face when i say retinol is like 0.5 0.1 percent that this is like pure it's called tretanol you need to get on board anyway the doctors in there were telling me about it they were like the world needs to know and i was like well tretanol i'll tell the ghost community about it. Your head's going to need a lot of repairs by the time you get this baby out here. A lot of repairs.

Look at me. Look at me. This is quite a long out, so let's say goodbye. Oh, sorry. Fuck you, Joe. It is a long goodbye. That's what they call Alzheimer's, Joe. That's really depressing. The long goodbye That's what they call Alzheimer's Joe

That's really depressing The long goodbye The long goodbye What's the long Oh the long goodbye I'm good at them I do long goodbyes When I'm trying to break up with people

So this is why I'm doing this Long goodbye I take ages To break up with somebody Alright listen I'm trying to break up with you For the week We'll see you next week

We'll see you next week Good luck Good luck you're breaking up with somebody alright listen I'm trying to break up with you for the week we'll see you next week we'll see you next week good luck good luck