My Therapist Ghosted Me - Ice, Rats & Haggis Crisps

Episode Date: January 5, 2024

Depending on how you feel about it, Christmas is sadly passed until next time, or it's finally over. Either way, Vogue & Joanne are back as normal and it's time to get some predictions on the go for the year ahead.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com/For more information about Joanne's gigs, visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player Original Podcast. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Boag Williams and Joanne McNally. It's 2024. We're back. We're back. Boo! New Year, Aldous. Let's go. We haven't changed one thing. We have no resolution between us and that's the way we like it. Thank you very much.

In fact, I would say from the preamble that we've had privately, we're worse people than we were last year. What I will say to you is I was like relatively healthy in the sense that I only drank twice over Christmas and New Year, but like heavily drank those nights. And but like just and your post was one of my favorite ones that I saw on Instagram, by the way, where you were like, someone once told me I don't give a shit after Christmas. Don't worry about it. How festive feel.

That's what I wanted to hear because I think that like over Christmas like you're having fun that's just what Christmas will always be and it always has been oh my god the guilt I used to like beat myself up into an awful way when I put on weight over Christmas but that's what Christmas is for and we have to stop this terrible association with any weight gain being a terrible thing that's happened to your body. It's not. Your body goes up and down all the time. Festive fuel.

That's what it's called. And you can either choose to keep the fuel or burn the fuel off or do whatever you want with that fuel. Festive fuel. Now, what I will say is I like I'm trying to like eat like a normal human being now because I actually I was last night was my last night. And I ate so much that I had to go and lie down after. I ate these ribs and this creamed corn and mac and cheese. And I actually felt, I really like did a number on myself bad. I had to lie down for 45 minutes.

Yeah, there is. Yeah, I understand. I mean, I don't know where it goes, but I believe what you're telling me. If you say that, that's true. I won't, I won't say to your face you're lying but I will text Jo after. Okay. She didn't really eat the ribs. She didn't really eat the

She didn't even have to lie down. She did an ultra marathon. Well I have been handling ice cubes is the closest thing I can tell you that I've been doing with ice.

My hand my right hand has been on a cool bottle of pinot for since December 13th, I would say. And I have no regrets.

Well, okay, I do have some regrets actually. I'm not going to lie. I do, I'm not going to lie. I am, I am regretful. I do have some.

I don't feel regretful. I felt a bit regretful yesterday. I felt very disappointed in myself on New Year's Day because I could not move from the couch. My kids watched

telly all day long all day long and I was like I actually can't I couldn't get off the couch to get myself a bottle of water

because my head was so sore I absolutely kicked the shite out of myself on New Year's Eve I didn't mean to I know thank you

thank you very much good yeah salpatine salpatine didn't even work that day no didn't even touch the sun. You know it's run out in Ireland apparently.

Well I could only get the tablets in Ireland. I couldn't get the solubles. Do we need to talk about Christmas or can we just move on? I think there's a few things that I do want to say about Christmas. Okay. Christmas and like

I only was thinking about this the other day because Louisa my manager texted me yesterday and I was like Jesus I haven't been in touch with Joanne or Louisa. Women I speak to almost daily and we've like,

we've ignored each other but we did it on purpose. Did I not FaceTime you at 8am on Christmas morning? That was disgusting and you thought you were really funny. I didn't answer, Jo, obviously. She burned me alive.

Roused me. I looked at my phone and I was like, that's a mistake. And then she texted after it, wishing me a happy Christmas. I was like, I love you so much, folk. Have the best day with your family and friends. Call me after lunch.

I actually set my alarm to wake up on Christmas Day just to FaceTime you and then went straight back to sleep. I actually couldn't believe, my eyes popped ahead of my head I was like what's coming on I mean trust me if you'd answered

I would have hung up straight away oh damn it I wish I'd answered she's gonna hate this now

morning I'm Christmas but you were up and dressed I saw your family in matching tartan outfits by 6am like on the ground

I was like what's going on well actually for us we got up quite late we didn't get up till after 8 like my kids slept well

well most of them slept well over Christmas and we were up at like half 8 most days I felt like I was living my absolute best life and yes we were

dressed in matching tartan because you can't go to Scotland unless you are in matching tartan indeed and wait till I get up there the next time I've quite unless you are in matching tartan. Indeed. And wait till I get up there the next time. I've quite the outfit planned.

A little tartan bikini for a little och. I'll be like, do you remember Daniela Westbrook in the Burberry? That'll be me in tartan, head to toe. Alan by my side in a full length kilt. Alan would be in those little plus fours, you know, those things with the high socks and he'd be gallivanting

around the Highlands. I'm going to put a little bagpipes on and play a little bagpipes. We love to get involved. But I loved that about Christmas. I loved not like having to talk to anyone. And because I'd said it on the pod, I only got you and one other person text me on

Christmas Day and I was like, wow, that worked when I was like, I hate anyone texting me on Christmas Day. But I like wow that worked when I was like I hate anyone texting me on Christmas Day but I didn't say it for New Year's big problemo a lot of New Year's texts oh really

no it's the same for New Year's I don't want to hear it and I got loads of texts but that's so funny because I didn't say it for either and I got nothing on either

occasion from anyone even my mother at six o'clock was like alright lads on New Year's Eve she's like

listen I'm not going to make it so I was like alright lads on New Year's Eve she's like listen I'm not going to make it so I was like well the phone's really fucking quiet I'll be honest and Vogue

you'll love this because I know you love a bit of sleep chat guess what time this is I don't know what's happening I think it's because I'm in Allen's in Wicklow

it's very quiet very chilled the bed's very comfortable I'd say I've been probably officially dead twice, three times so much lying around

eight o'clock on New Year's Eve Alan came up to the bed and he was like fuck off and I was in it dowsing, make up off yeah, gone

yeah so I woke up and I slept through to like maybe twelve on New Year's Day and I was like oh god the phone will be clogged now

nothing one one one Happy New Year's Day and I was like oh god the phone will be clogged now nothing one one one happy New Year's message from Ewan that I got one too from Ewan

I hang on so you did nothing on New Year's Eve at all nothing nothing I was up till

5am oh 5am I know it's wrong we've really traded places but you'll be glad to hear

you'll be glad to hear that I am on dry January a vape has not touched my lips since Christmas oh very good that's a lie I might have had a little bit

on January 1st until Spencer spotted me but I was severely hungover so that day didn't count tell me what you did on Christmas Day then because you were so crap on New Year's Eve.

Nothing. Like really quiet. Like it's Christmas. You drink, you fucking swap candles, you cry twice and you start your you start your year again.

Like there's never any major news from my side of the family. No one fights that much. It's very tame. It was lovely. Really nice. But like there's nothing major to report. We got up, the family came over, no one fights that much it's it's very tame it was lovely really nice but like there's nothing major to report

we got up the family came over we had a late dinner you know we chatted there was a lot of drink taken a lot of hugging great chat

that's a perfect Christmas yeah it was a lovely day lovely day and then me and mum went to Parascourt that was like her present from me we went to Parascourt and had some nice facials.

What, that night? On Christmas Day? No, we went the day after Stephen's. So it was grand. Like just a classic kind of, you know, Christmas. And my brother's kids are a bit older now, so they don't talk anymore. You know, it was a quiet day.

Oh, I saw them on the phones. Yeah, I wondered when they hit that age. But yeah, it was a quiet day. Oh, I saw them on the phones. Yeah. I wondered when they hit that age. But yeah. So like nothing to report. Nothing. Well, that's the end of the podcast. Thank you for listening.

That's what I was like. We don't need to discuss Christmas. Do you know what? I know I'm over it because when I see Christmas decorations, I'm like, I don't look at them anymore. I put mine up too early and I want them all gone

I don't want to see them well it's 6th of January the tradition is Nulluk na mán do you know what Nulluk na mán is Jo? women's Christmas

sorry you're not the English person Vogue that was for that was a question for an Englishman well I just think I had really good Irish there this isn't celebrity mastermind now

okay you can't redeem yourself it's too late oh you my friend. You wait until you go on that little shit show, okay? You enjoy yourself. So the 6th of January is the tradition where the women get together

and kind of relax and the decorations come down and the men do it because the women haven't put their feet up all Christmas season. And I was saying to Alan, he was like, are you joking me? You couldn't have done less

I can't imagine how you do a lot now I said I've been up the walls but the walls is actually the local pub I was like I've been nowhere I haven't done a fucking thing I want to know right because you did nothing on New Year's Eve what led to you being in your bed at 8 o'clock

on New Year's Eve something happened before I refused to accept. I swear to God, boredom. I was just like, let's go. The night's topped. We had a bottle of champagne.

We shared it. A couple of bags of crisps. I was like, you know, I'm out. I did enough for all of us. No, I'm not so cool. I don't think drinking

is the way forward. As you said, ice baths are the way forward. They are, Joanne. Go on. Tell us about the journey. Okay, you know the way forward. As you said, ice baths are the way forward. They are, Joanne. Go on, tell us about the journey. Okay, you know the way when I got a Peloton, you fell in love with the Peloton and you came to my house to use the Peloton

and I sometimes wouldn't see you because you'd just go to use the bike and you'd be off again. Yeah. We have ordered an ice bath for the balcony. So Spenno has been obviously really obsessed with ice baths for ages and he was trying to tell me how good they are.

I was meant to read Wim Hof about all the mental health benefits that you get from ice baths. But like I find the sea in Spain cold. So like I just didn't want to get involved. Got involved. And then he sent me this thing. I think it was on TikTok or something. Where if you get in the ice bath, you get such a dopamine hit that it's like you've done drugs. But like it lasts for like four times longer

than doing drugs would last for so we'll be ice bathing on the balcony is it just full of city boys with Rolexes just like fucking snorting the water

out of the thing I bet it is that's actually the main people who use them I knew it they dunk in they're like

I'm doing deals guys and then they're gone well I look I don't like being called I've been very vocal about that I don't like any I'm doing deals, guys. And then they're gone. Well, I, look, I don't like being called. I've been very vocal about that. I don't like any, I don't even like a kind of a door lock, like a keyhole. It sounds kind of torturous, I'll be honest. I think that I'm going to get you to give it a go.

I think you're really going to enjoy it. And you're one of those people that if it's good for you and it makes your skin look good and young, you'll want to do it. It sounds like something medieval. Like, would you rather get into a bath of ice or be tarred and feathered and i'm like i'd rather be tarred and feathered because it sounds kind of warm yeah that would be quite warm but i think it would be scalding warm and not nice warm i'll take the lava please you know it's just like pour pots of lava over people who are trying to get over the mouth. You do look fresh. Oh, I don't feel fresh today.

Oh my God. I tell you what, over Christmas and... Jo, I don't know if you've hit this point with your child. Otto won't leave me alone. My arms are in bits. No one else is allowed to hold him. Whenever I see him, he just cries at me and I have to lift him up the whole time.

But he just won't let me just hold him. I have to walk around with him so my whole Christmas was spent lifting up Otto trying to hide from Otto sometimes so I could just leave and go to the gym and do my ice bathing because I couldn't do it if he was anywhere near my vicinity he's just been screaming crying there because I ran by him to come up here and do uh and do the pod and honestly like it's not it's not cute at all why does he why does he not want

his father he doesn't want anybody else not one single person he just says no all the time because he started talking but he only says a few things

like no no oh he's talking little words like thank you that's thank you thank you so it's not all negative he that's thank you thank you I thought it's not all negative

he is saying thank you well you rarely hear that it's mainly no he's mainly picked up the word no and mommy mommy and he does this like banshee scream

and he started waking up in the night now because like he realises I'm not beside him and he screams until I have to go in and get him and bring him to bed.

You look great, Joanne. Christmas was well to you. It was kind to you. There is nothing more sobering than seeing yourself on FaceTime in the first week of January. Opposite Vogue Williams, who's been doing ice baths for two weeks. Predictions for 2024.

I was looking at some of the predictions for 2023 that didn't come through. There was huge predictions at the start of the year that rats would be pets. Rats are pets sometimes. I've held a pet rat. Well, you're ahead of your time because it has been,

according to the New York Times it didn't kick off it wasn't the trend they thought it was going to be another one that didn't take off was crocks of butter let not don't be mistaken

yes you see I had the exact same response I was like crocks of butter crocks need to fucking calm down but it's actually just like a crock like shaped crockery of butter like a butter dish but like a bowl anyway it doesn't

matter because it didn't happen okay stop trying to make crocks happen it's not gonna happen well crocks did happen crocks of butter did not happen okay yeah okay so here are some of the predictions I was looking up online I don't think this is the right website for me jocks are going to be huge in 2024 what do you mean jocks trousers or as in the the man himself

oh sports men those guys that everyone thought were real rapey and we all kind of hated on them for a while

they're back because of Taylor Taylor Swift has reintroduced people to the NFL blah blah blah jocks are going to be huge. People are really tired on jocks.

There was a lot of court cases involving jocks. I would say the Kardashians made jocks not great because they went out with loads of dicks that were jocks. Yeah, true. Have you ever gone out with a jock? No, never. I did once.

I went out with a footballer a couple of times, but actually a very nice person. Didn't of times, but actually a very nice person. Didn't work out, thankfully, but very nice person. You're right, actually. I guess that is the equivalent of a jock. Yeah. I was kind of thinking American,

but yeah, you're right. Like sports guys are jocks. Any of that kind of like alpha male, sporty type that people kind of turn their back on because, you know, they're, you know, don't have the best reputation. Well, I read this thing

about your man Travis saying that he's now got five agents and he's looking to become a movie star and he wants to be as famous as The Rock of course he does

that man is I'm sorry now but talk about riding coattails anyway look whatever let those in glass houses and I mean

where are you if any three of us saw a coattail we'd be riding it straight away so we can't I'd get straight on to the back of those coattails Taylor Swift in particular jocks kind of went out of fashion because there was they just didn't seem you know I mean anecdotally they weren't they kind of struggled with the whole consent thing anyway look they're back now which is great yeah this is when I knew I was at the wrong list theme dressing

at red carpet events and I was like okay this is very conceptual shit for me butterfly kisses again this is the New York Times

butterfly kisses oh I like them remember them with your eyes is that what they mean with your like eyelashes you kiss people

I love them yeah yeah they are sweet they are sweet but I mean we're talking, we wanted to see like what AI was going to bring.

They said that girlies were really big at the moment. Like kind of that girl fashion trend has come back in. Huns are out. Girlies are in.

Girlies? Yeah. Barbie. It's all come from like Barbie core. Everything's very feminine and girly. So butterfly kisses are in.

Just in case you wish to use your eyelashes in a seductive but playful way. This is your year. Or let's start rubbing nosies. I do that with my kids already. Rub nosies. I think that's 2025. Again, you're ahead of your time. Let's stick with eyelashes.

Thank you very much. You can rub your pet rat's nose in 2026. I fucking love rats. I'd love a pet rat. Like it would have to be a nice white rat. Clean white rat. A cat. I want a cat.

T wants a cat. I said something the other day. I was like, Spenny's dad had asked T to do this speech on New Year's. And I was like, oh, you just had to do this little speech. And all of a sudden he started getting really shy. And there was only like six of us there.

I was like, T, I'll give you anything you want if you do this speech. I was like, Spenny's dad wants you to do this speech do this speech well this sounds familiar that's so true oh my god

I'm literally getting I'm triggered from what you've just done for anyone for anyone who doesn't remember Vogue literally did the same thing to me in Africa two years ago

and maybe stand up in front of again six people including Spencer's parents and do stand up in exchange for a coat that I'd wanted for quite a while and I died in my hole as you would expect in that situation so I feel Theodore I feel for him I feel like the only person who won out of that was you by the way

because yes you did die in your hole and now you have my jacket that I love and miss and I spotted it on your rail and one day it will be mine again it will not and I'm so used to public failure now

honestly it was like water off a duck's back so anyway I'm there telling T I was like come on I'll give you anything you want anything you want and he goes

turned to me and he goes a pet cat and I was like that little shite bag he remembered that he loves a cat so much trying to get a pet cat and I was like that little shite bag he remembered that he loves a cat so much trying to get a pet cat out of me I ended up like breaking him down and he said he would have a toy Loch Ness monster instead thank god so oh my god that man needs to work on his haggling skills that is desperate

and then he goes to me the other day. I'm so mean. He was like, when will I get my Loch Ness toy? And I was like, never. I was like, you didn't do the speech

because he started trying to do the speech. He's like, but why? We made a deal. I was like, yeah, and you broke it.

You're not getting it. So I couldn't find one on Amazon. I guarantee that's going to be his first story in therapy when he turns 22. Why he does, he's going to be his first story in therapy when he turns 22 he's going to be an incel why? women lie, women lie

because mummy tells me it's going to be all that now you're just planting the trauma imagine going in high with a cat and getting a a fake Loch Ness Monster toy that you didn't get in the end it's like I want a Ferrari I'll get a bag Loch Ness Monster toy that you didn't get in the end it's like I want a Ferrari I'll get a bag of dog shit

okay I keep saying to him I'm like tell Auntie Amber we can get a cat in that house she can have a cat get the cat over there oh yeah I'm watching this show at the moment

called film me once Michelle Keegan's in it it's brilliant Michelle Keegan Joanna Lonely it's really good everyone's obsessed with that

it's really really good it's a in it they say a fact that I don't know if it's true or not so I probablyaney it's really good everyone's obsessed with that it's really really good it's a in it they say a fact that I don't know if it's true or not so I probably shouldn't call it a fact

in it one of the characters says that if you're driving down the road and you go to there's an animal

in front of you there's a cat if you swerve and hit someone or hit a fence or something you are it is your fault

you can't legally swerve a cat but you can legally swerve a cat but you can legally swerve a dog which I think will put an end to the whole debate

about which animal is better I think that you're not meant to swerve for any animal I think you're just meant to kill them all no

because if you swerve if you swerve then you could cause a bigger accident instead of just killing the animal but of course you're going to swerve

because you don't want to kill the animal I can't say that I looked into it much but it was just a piece of information that stayed in my brain and now just came out of my mouth and I don't wish to be questioned on it Have you ever killed an animal in a car by accident? Oh my god yes

What did you kill? I killed I killed I killed Is this Are we live? I killed a little A street animal It was a fox

Oh no Now I was on a motorway I would have lied And said a bird You should have lied She killed a fox I was on I know yeah Oh lied she killed a horse I was on I know yeah

oh no I was like it was a horse why no I know the little thing ran in front of the car I'm sure we were

going at such speed and it was dark oh god there was no way there was no way of avoiding it really I know it was awful so I've done some

predictions for us folk I'm excited well it's not us personally but just something we can look back on because we don't want to be whoever came up

with pet rats or butter crocks do you know what I mean we want to really nail this okay so here are our predictions there's going to be a lot of new situationships

in 2024 I'm predicting Olivia Colman is going to leave her present partner and have a situationship with Jake Gyllenhaal that's my first prediction. That's very

specific. I think it's very specific but I also think Olivia Coleman isn't a million miles off what his sister looks like so I just don't know if that's going to happen. Well I didn't know that but that means it definitely is going to happen because if 2023 was the year Ariana Grande started going out

with someone who looked like her brother 2024 can certainly be the year where Olivia Calment does the same prediction number two Gareth Gates is coming back I wouldn't actually I wouldn't be surprised I've seen him popped a few times in the Daily Mail and I thought he looks fab I saw him recently he was getting bullied on some cruise ship by some geebags and he was on the news or something and I saw him and I said that man is waiting in the wings he looks popping like he is coming back

he Katie Price is sweating it like he is going to be back he looks fab he has not let himself go at all he that man is in the wings

and Garrett we're waiting prediction number three Hosea smiles potentially potentially not I think that's gone too far now myself

or he rebrands and joins the Saturdays there's something big that's going to happen for him I don't know what it is something big

is going to happen for him he's just sold out like a million arenas what could happen for Josie A that would be big Josie A

Josie A if you sold out an arena tell your face okay moving on any more David Hayes' Truffle

Olivia Colman is going to tire of Jake Gyllenhaal and join that I actually can't listen about his truffles anymore I just find him so

just the way they go about it is like well you want to get used to it because I'm going to be I'm going to be joining that

truffle around August of 2024 If I was being very particular about it You would know That I've really gotten Fucked up on a night out If I end up In the middle of those two

Like I'd be really sad I'd be really disappointed In myself But it could happen Loose women Are going to ask Me and Vogue To become full time

Panelists But we will say no And we will set up our own show called Tight Women which will flop Fair My environmental predictions Climate change

Scientists will say we're fucked anyway so bring back sunbeds and then I'll get one for my home One last thing I want to say about Christmas I spotted Gabriel Byrne

I was driving by he was in The Usual Suspect he's an amazing Irish actor oh my god like he looked fantastic

go on he looked gorgeous his hair was flowing in the wind he looked like he'd just come back from Mauritius I think I'm into

older men. I want like 70 and above. Yeah, there's a lot to be said for it. That's my last bit about Christmas. AI predictions. This morning we'll be housed by two robots and then one will get fired for slapping a runner on the ass. Well, Joanne, I saw a news article about a robot that beat up a man.

Like a proper robot actually attacked a man. So I'm scared of them now. Was it Terminator? No, it was not Terminator, but that's what's coming for us, by the way. Oh, I know. Like those self-service tails are going to be armed in no time and they're they're going to be

cracking off that wall in Tesco and run down the streets it's absolutely terrifying fashion predictions fuck you're not going to like this abs are out oh dear

bullshit bunions and stretch marks are in fine whatever choose your side at least I know what to work on choose your side

you need to get tip backs all over that ass so you fit in final prediction Andrew Scott comes out as straight who's Andrew Scott

hot priest from Fleabag is he gay Andrew Scott the hot priest is he Paul Dark that fella no Jesus Christ gay Andrew Scott the hot priest is he Paul Dark that fella

no Jesus Christ anyway Andrew Scott comes out of straight me and him have a two

week fling and then he announces he's gay again oh no no no no I know him now he's come up

not gonna happen there's just not a chance no way he's definitely gay they're my predictions well done Joanne I thoroughly enjoyed them thank you very much

thank you thank you so much I wanted to run through some of the predictions that I saw for 2024 do you want to hear them yes a Zempec

will change the world's landscape oh 100% entire economies will start to change there'll be winners like airlines skinnier passengers use less fuel

and governments spending less on fighting obesity-related health issues. Here's my take on a Zempek, right? Oh, the pen, sorry. Yeah, so I know lots of people taking it and they find it absolutely amazing. They say they feel sick quite a lot, which I wouldn't like,

but it really has helped them. But you know when you see people and you're like now i'm not allegedly whatever i need to say there i saw a picture scott disick and i'm like dude you have been penning the shit out of yourself you have penned yourself or no no or not but yes it's hardly it's hardly slandered out to say you think someone's on the ozempic it's not like you're saying you've been hung out with Jeffrey Epstein

which I think we have to put allegedly in before when we say it oh my god that list that list is coming out Joanne you should be scared Jo you should be scared

no that is wild but anyway ozempic yeah but then when you look at the Kardashians it's like I smell a bit of a Zempac

and they must be getting a deal on that then or not or not apparently they're they are kind of like selling it like I know girls on it

who are working in beauty and a Zempac you know reps are coming in and selling it to them as a beauty deal I just feel like

allegedly one of my friends is a nurse and she was saying that a Zempik Would be used to Kind of battle Kind of drug addiction

And alcohol addiction And any sort of Numbing I don't know Look We're not scientists Regardless of my predictions Here's

I have a couple more We're going to see A global shift Towards a four day work week Which I find unusual Because I Well I don't I work like six days Most weeks What's wrong with see a global shift towards a four day work week which I find unusual because I well I don't I work like six days

most weeks what's wrong with working five days and then you get two days off why do we have to go down to four days Simon Cowell

suggested it and I anything that man suggests I I'll do Girl 10 wins year's supply of crisps after campaigning to get haggis flavour back on shelves.

Delicious. So I was like, what? Haggis flavour? Like, no shade to haggis, but what? Anyway, I read the piece. It's this child's letter, like written in child's writing. It's like, dear Taylor's crisps. I love McKay's haggis crisps.

Anyway, they came back and said, oh, we've kind of taken it off the shelf for winter. It was supposed to be like a summer crisp. But because you've written this cutesy letter full of turtle stickers, we'll put it back. And I was like, this isn't a fucking 10 year old. This is a woman in her 50s sitting in a golf club two gins down

saying to her friends I'll have them back on the shelves by Christmas I know how to speak to men hand me my sticker book so I realised like she spelt there wasn't a single

type out she even spelt seasonal completely correctly and no kid a 10 year old doesn't know what seasonal is for God's sake

exactly so I was like this is the key I'm glad she contained for that delicious correctly and no kid a 10 year old doesn't know what seasonal is for God's sake exactly so I was like this is the key I'm glad she campaigned for that delicious well I mean campaigned

it's hardly stop oil you know what I mean she's not salatyping herself to the streets but she wrote a very convincing letter

and yes it's written in pencil and yes the handwriting does look childish but I think it's got a more sinister And yes, the handwriting does look childish. But I think it's got a more sinister undertone.

Vogue, what would you like? If you were to write like a child to a company to get something back, what would it be? Okay, I've actually asked for this before, right? And I'm fed up of asking. I'm sick to my back teeth. I want Casper ice pops and Fat Frog ice pops brought back. They're not difficult to make make you can sell them for a fortune and they don't cost a lot of money to make they bring a lot of joy to all of our lives

you can put them in a vodka with a bit of fizzy seven up and then put the fat frog in or not with the vodka you can do it with anything you want not the vodka in january remember july january i wonder why they took them off i don't know do you remember how delicious they were the casper ones as well. Do you remember Casper? 20p. Oh, I do indeed. Oh God.

Delicious ice pop. What would you want back? Well, thank you for asking because this is what I've been leading up to this entire episode. There's a coffee shop restaurant near me called Dockyard who I used to, I used to go there religiously and they used to have a chicken avocado sandwich that they've taken off the menu I've spoken to the owner several times I've said give the people what they want I've been contacted privately from other people who also want the sandwich back because I've been very vocally I've been very vocal publicly about

wanting it back I haven't really gotten involved in local politics up to this point but when I saw the chicken sandwich was gone, I said, now's my chance. So I put signs up around the town and I would love to get that back. That's all. So I'm going to write the coffee shop a letter, like a child.

Please, daddy. And hopefully they'll put it back on. Chicken, avocado, sourdough, mayonnaise. It's, you know what I mean? She's putting her foot down now. She's just not doing it out of spite I would suggest a bit of light trolling

on Instagram myself try the letter if it doesn't work light trolling I said Lauren if this isn't back by February 9th

I'm taking it to Yelp and no one wants that so that's fair enough you've got to stick up for what you believe in and I like that sandwich sounds delicious

and if Lauren would put that back on the menu I will go over there to Enniscarry, the hallway on the Doris, which is the other side of the city to me. But I will go and I will get a sandwich

and I will be very grateful to Lauren at the Dockyard. Thank you. The Paul Meskell thing. Oh, yes. Did you see this, Jo? No. It's so funny. There's a rumor basically going around about Paul Meskell thing. Oh, yes. Did you see this show? No. It's so funny. There's a rumor basically going around about Paul Meskell,

who's an Irish actor. And it's basically that he sleeps with women and then he goes for a walk with them the next day and just runs away. He says, oh, look at the squirrel, and then just runs the other way. I think that's the best rumor I've ever heard. I don't think that's true, is it? That's happened to me before

and I've never taken it as a no. Well, because he's such a riot, you'd just be like, oh, he wants to play chasing and start running after him. Yeah! Get away from me, honey! I'd be like, oh, his attachment style is cross-country. Let's go! Just like his sport. I'll be his sporty

sidekick. not a bother if Paul Mescal runs you run after him like come on that's what he's waiting for you absolutely do maybe it's not a negative thing maybe he just like

forgot the condom and he's gone off to get it and he'll be back can you like where did that come from that rumour like Paul Mescal

sleeps with a girl and then runs away from her the next day like come on it's great it's absolutely brilliant. See, I, like, that's why I was not,

I was not, well, I would love that actually because then you wouldn't have to have that awkward situation. They'd just be gone. Well, I just mean, if I gave up on every man who ran away from me,

it'd be a very lonely, long life. I just see it that as a challenge. He wants me. Deep a challenge he wants me deep down he wants me he wants me and I'm getting my steps in

this is perfect why don't we go to the police station what's that about okay I'll play along what's happening here there's few men I'd run after but I probably would chase him down

to be fair you know he's the face of Gucci I'm jealous of that because I'd love all the free Gucci stuff chase him down now to be fair you know he's the face of Gucci I'm jealous of that because I'd love all the free Gucci stuff I don't even care about the campaign money I'd just be like

I can go into any fucking Gucci store I want and get everything for free like supermarket sweep in Gucci can you imagine

but it's just there's nothing like this is no Shane and Paul Mescal he's a very talented actor but it's just not that and I think Barry Cowan is the face

of like I don't know Louis Vuitton like there's something I don't know Burberry he did Burberry Burberry

and now did you watch Salt Fern speaking of Barry Cowan I haven't seen it yet I heard it's amazing oh my god that was the film of 2023

it is so brilliant from start to finish I only watched it last week I think I'm going to watch it again this week it's just I heard it's fab. And Barry Keoghan is like so

amazing. He's such a brilliant actor. Peggy. Peggy was the most searched word of last year. I still can't believe that. They must be writing a mad rebel song in Ireland. I don't know what it's about. I assume it's something to Prince William. I still can't believe that they must be writing a mad rebel song in Ireland. I don't know what it's about. I assume it's something to Prince William. I assume it's like

some anti-royalist thing. No? Or else we're building a Eurovision song together. I don't know what it is.

Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to keep a diary this year. I've made a decision. I have no memories of anything like I can't

you know I can't You know I can't It's like my Just my personal calendar I don't want to look back In ten years And be like Oh I went to a fucking

Chiropractor on Fourth of December Like I've nothing else in I kind of I'm hoping that Instagram has this thing And this sounds terrible

But like That like you can Backlog your Your like life On Instagram So you can That can be your diary So it can be done for you

You can save it down On your computer One day they're going to Do that hopefully Because otherwise I'm screwed Your archive So I'm going to look back On my whole life

And be like All I did was sell Tickets and tracksuits Yeah I'm like What about something sentimental Did I feel anything Did I have a feeling

What was going on In my private life Washing tablets Washing tablets as well Come on. You're doing the world good. Oh, yeah. You just felt good because of me.

My 30s, the era of click clack and anxious preoccupied. Pusaka, nothing sentimental, nothing personal. I'd love a PA to write a diary for me. Writing diaries is a lot. I try to do that for my kids. People send you books to write for your kids. And I was like a lot I try to do that for my kids people send you books to write for your kids and I was like

oh look today you said this and I was like fuck this is way too hard I'm not doing it for three kids no way this is why

this is AI will come in perfectly I'm like you tell me my memories I don't care look at my calendar and give me a sentimental story on the way

to the chiropractor just fill something in I'll believe it my memory's so shit anyway oh I have to tell you something about AI by the way to the chiropractor. Just fill something in. I'll believe it. My memory's so shit anyway. Oh, I have to tell you something about AI, by the way, which is something

I'm really into and supposedly this is going to happen in 2024. Supposedly AI will be able to tell you what your dog is saying. Imagine. I'm going to ask Winston

why he's so fucking depressed all the time. He's a great life. What the hell is wrong with you, Winston? Well, you will because once he's able to communicate,

he'll be off to Dignitas within seven minutes, I'd say. That dog will be going to Switzerland the second anyone understands him. Well, you know what, Joanne, if that's the path that he wants to go on, that's fine with me, because actually, in hindsight, two dogs is too much. Okay? Winston was not meant to last this long. You're like, okay, Winnie, you've had a good life. You can go to your new.

Don't be selfish. This is a bit much for me now, Winnie. I had a good life don't be selfish this is a bit much for me now Winnie I don't want to get a double lead you were meant to be gone I've enjoyed being back I have I've enjoyed seeing you both

and chatting to you both and I've really enjoyed it me too thanks for having me back guys I know it was it was ten nights it was we've allowed Vogue

to come back into the Veld thank you very much there are rules which we'll get into on the bonus no ring lights from now on I'm not going to be humbled every week anymore

sick of your shit how about you go and buy your own god damn ring light I know you have one you just don't bother your whole putting it on you

you will sit in the dark with the video clips and I will have a full-blown squad and that's the only thing I've done for you to finish. Like you'd be fucking horrors having someone come to do your makeup. Joe, you can stay the same. I find you fine.

Thanks, mate. Cheers.