My Therapist Ghosted Me - Journaling, Blue Monday & Salmon Facials

Episode Date: January 19, 2024

There's an awful lot in the news this week... Double lives, Blue Monday (Joanne says this is a PR stunt), a weird salmon-derived facial (Joanne says this is also a PR stunt) and that's before we even get to the celeb rumours you've all been sending!If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com/For more information about Joanne's gigs, visit: www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player Original Podcast. Fantastic. So good to see you guys. So good to see you guys. Well, the reason we're being sarcastic is we're recording back to back today. A little back to back never hurt anybody. Never hurt us all. I have never gotten so many compliments about my short hair. And every time I have to tell people I'm going long again. They're like, oh God, the long wasn't great. Now the short looks fantastic. And I'm like, yeah, I'm going long again. They're like, oh God, the long wasn't great. Now the short looks fantastic. And I'm like, yeah, I'm going long again next week.

But thank you very much for your compliment. That is modern technology, the fact that you can switch and swap like that. Do you know what I mean? You can have the best of both worlds and that's what's great about the world. And that's what we would all like. Yeah, she keeps asking me when I'm getting long hair

she's like mama when are you getting long hair she just hates the short hair yeah it's a bit butch for Gigi now she likes a she likes a

she likes a femme she's quite femme I don't have the heart to tell her that her hair is also not great to be honest she's always I'm watching her online

her brows are coming in very nicely oh her brows are fantastic in very nicely oh her brows are fantastic but the hair now she has got the mother's hair so it's not going to get much thicker than that

and she keeps saying look how long my hair is mama and I'm like yeah well she'll save a fortune and allows her hair removal that's all I'll say to her she said

the other day when we were away actually she was like to me I don't twizzle my hair anymore because she used to twizzle her hair and suck her thumb, which she still does, by the way. But pull chunks out of it. Remember, she had the mullet.

But to try and get her to stop twizzling, I said to her, oh, Gigi, you know Grandpa Neil? Do you know why he has no hair? And she's like, why? I was like, because he kept twizzling it and it all came out. And she started up a conversation the other day about Grandpa Neil. I don't twizzle my hair, but Grandpa Neil does. Don't say that to Grandpa Neil. She brought him out.

Big week for me. Yeah. Finished Prosecco Express. It is dead in the water. Done. Done's out. Never to be resuscitated. I don't know.

Oh, in the... Wait, hang on. Oh, no, no, no. I know what you're saying. Am I going to whip out another one? I'm actually not whipping out another one. I swear.

On our father's collective graves, I will not ever do Prosecco Express again. Now, will that material end up in some form in America? Sure.

America will be old and new, etc. etc. But it won't be. The Prosecco Express is dead and gone. And I was a little bit emotional about it. Did you cry? I mean, I would have loved to have, I did try. I tried to squeeze out a little tear because

Gerold was being quite sentimental about it. So I tried, but I did feel like you know it was it was such a huge part of my life that it was it was just you know I just took a moment I just took a moment and I was like this has been a huge part of my life I don't know if I'll ever do anything like this ever

ever again. But to be honest with you I've got news for you no you won't ever do anything like that again but that's I think that's always a good thing because you're going to Move on to bigger And better things Indeed Prosecco who?

We were talking about Like at the start Where he was driving Us around Ireland In a white van With the Rocket tubes In the back

And we got stuck Under a bridge And just Fun times Just fun times It started as Such a teeny tiny show And it took me everywhere It took me all over the world I kind of felt like That I have to say Fun times, just fun times. It started as such a teeny tiny show.

And it took me everywhere. It took me all over the world. I kind of felt like that, I have to say, like after our show, because I'm not used to doing shows. And it is, it's a really, but I think you'll look back, which you probably already are,

but like on Prosecco and be like, like, I mean, in like years to come and you'll just be like, I'm so glad that I got to do something so fun like that. I'm so, I felt very grateful. If so fun like that I'm so I felt very grateful if I had a gratitude journal which I don't I would write in it but I won't

but I just my gratitude journal the whole thing would just be like be like one day thanks for Prosecco Express and then there'd be nothing else in it anyway I'm just so grateful to anyone who came

and and those who didn't come because I didn't want to do any more of them so thanks so thank you yeah thank you for allowing her to run its course. I always think that.

To run its course. I'm thrilled. I'm so thrilled. Onwards and upwards. Choo choo. Into the wall. Choo choo. The train is in the wall

and it's not coming out. Do you ever see those? I saw something online there last week. Actually, I think someone sent it to me. And someone was talking about getting up at like some crazy early time in the morning and spending an hour

writing in their journal. And I'm like, an hour? You could have, like you need to prioritize sleep. You're getting up at 5am to write in a journal. Sleep.

Some people love it. It keeps them sane. They, I mean, I used to do stand-up about it. Just the idea that if you have a gratitude journal you know maybe all is not

well with you if one needs to be grateful for an hour in the morning maybe things aren't that good with you maybe things are a little maybe there's more you can say shit on stage and it's grand you say shit on a podcast and suddenly you sound like a wanker.

But it's, you know, gratitude journals, for some people, they are very helpful. They're not for me. Definitely not for me. I just can't understand how I would get up at five in the morning and be able to write anything that I'm grateful for. Because all I'd be thinking is, I would be grateful if I had had an extra hour in bed. Well. But now I'm grateful for because all I'd be thinking is I would be grateful if I had had an extra hour in bed well but now I'm not grateful so shove the journal up your arse and I also while we're on the topic well whilst we're here I'm not doing a vision board either I'm not into it these people have these like that that, like the huge whiteboard of vision boards. I'm like, I just don't have that much vision for 2024.

I just want to leave 2024 unscathed and like without anyone annoying me too much. I've warned Spencer about pissing me off. I said, not this year, pal. Don't, don't stress me out this year. I'm not interested. Good. Yeah. Good for you.

So we're on a good path. That was all I was going to say. Yeah. Well, you know, you could get up later in the day and write a gratitude journal you don't have to get up at 5am if the sleep was the main thing holding you back well I will I was just trying to be kind it certainly is not the main thing holding me back it's just the whole writing of the gratitudes I just like it's not that I'm not grateful for stuff of course I am but I when I'm up in the morning I'm kind of stressed I'm in emails I'm trying to make stuff. Of course I am. But I, when I'm up in the morning, I'm kind of stressed. I'm in emails.

I'm trying to make coffee. The phone's going. I suppose you need to carve out that space for yourself. I just wake up and I'm immediately stressed. She's in emails. She's in TikTok.

That's because you go straight onto TikTok and stress yourself out. I don't actually do TikTok during the day. TikTok's very much a nighttime, a nighttime hobby. I tried it out again. I did try it out again, TikTok. I don't actually do TikTok during the day TikTok's very much a night time hobby. I tried it out again I did try it out again TikTok

I don't know why it's just I'd like to give you my phone for a while and maybe you could get the proper suggested things so I'm not looking at boring crap that I don't want to see I am looking at boring crap but I just can't switch off it's an addiction but when I talk because there's a thing called artist pages

which is this process where if you're writing something that you just get up in the morning and free write so anything that goes into your head

you just get it out in the paper and maybe there's something artistic in it or maybe it just clears your mind for the day so you can write later in the day

etc which I'm going to have to start doing at some stage but I just maybe we're underselling ourselves but I just don't know if we have that many thoughts. I think we're intelligent women. I'm not saying we're not, but I just don't know if I could fill five pages in the morning when I've just woken up.

I would rather, instead of filling the five pages, because I do have a mind that like switches, switches, switches all the time. Like I was downstairs doing one thing, then all of a sudden I'm packing away the Christmas stuff that that's been left out then I'm getting all your stuff like it just my mind is so crazy that like I'd rather use it to do things instead of sit there and write about doing the things I'd rather go and get oh but you see the journal it's not a to-do list this is the big difference no I know I know but like I just my time would be better spent like busying myself with all the busy things that are happening in my mind I get it I get it yeah we're just not that we're just not that deep I guess is what we're saying I actually once did a thing with somebody about vision boards and she's really

into vision boards and when I was doing it with her because it was actually part of a job I was like oh my god this is great and then I was like and then I was looking at the vision board after and I was like oh god it looks so messy I hate that it's here and I had to get rid of it why does it look messy because it looked really messy and I just I just looked at it and I thought that's not me that's not me I'm not that person I mean I don't I don't believe in manifestation I'm gonna I'm gonna put that out there right now. What I do believe in is kind of driving yourself

towards something by very much focusing on it. Manifestation suggests if you just think hard it'll pop up whereas that is not

what I think. I think you have to look at something and then you drive yourself towards it with insane vision but not manifesting. I think manifesting suggests that like no matter

what your circumstance you can just manifest something in your head it'll happen and i don't think that's the case that's yes that's what i was gonna say it's like not everybody is in the same situation so you can't be like oh i want a range rover and then all of a sudden three weeks later you've got a range rover just doesn't happen you can't manifest a lamborghini do you know what i mean i mean if manifesting really worked the world would be a very different place i think it'd be a fantastic place if like everyone well maybe we'd get a bit greedy and there'd be too much stuff everywhere yeah yes it's not like a genie in a bottle anyway just an interesting thought i'm glad that we're on the same page with that because you don't really strike me but like what i would say about you on the same page with that because you don't really strike me.

But like what I would say about you is I'm kind of surprised that you don't like write like a little journal for yourself. I don't do anything. I mean, you know, I lack, I'm not very sentimental. And I try to push because I feel like, especially when things get so busy and things are happening, it's like I should try and remember some of my life I should look back at some stage and have a memory or remember a time when something was right or wrong or feelings or what was going on or but I just don't I just don't do it actually when you sit down and try and because I'm sitting down and trying to remember I'm I'm trying to I want to do some kind of a book next year but this this year is like the setting plans of it. But like,

I don't want to do a memoir because it's not a memoir. I want it to be like a fiction book with bits of me thrown in that are quite entertaining. I mean,

that's what most people do. You write what you know. That's what people do. Yeah. I mean, it's like acting. They say like most actors are kind of acting a character

that's only a couple of degrees away from themselves, really, unless you're Daniel Day-Lewis. So yeah, that's a great idea. Just a quick reminder that Spenny and I are on tour. We have some tickets left for Dublin.

There's some for Belfast. And I think if you go to the venue for Cork, you'll find a few tickets left for that as well. And it is all on our website spencerandbogue.com I've just finished a book called have you read it? I wish my

I'm glad my mom's dead yeah really? did you like it? I loved that book loved it I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure I

I spoke about it on here because I did you? yeah I did yeah I loved it yeah I did I was nodding I spoke about it on here. Did you? Yeah, I did. Yeah, I loved it. Yeah, I did. I was nodding. I just finished it yesterday

and I absolutely loved it. I nearly sent you, I had screen grabbed something from the book and I nearly sent it to you. I'll send it to you later actually. Just kind of amazing that she was able to, so it's about a child actor and her mom basically kind of pushed her into it.

And there's loads of intricate details about her life in there that are amazing but like to see somebody so open about it and she was so successful I don't want to say any more about it because I'll give it away but if you want to read it Her mom was abusive basically. Jeanette McCurdy is the name

Jeanette McCurdy is her name Yeah but she didn't really realize that anyway until her mom had died but it's a fantastic story and it's so well written it's gorgeous I loved it really

loved it loved it loved it let's get into our little book club stuff again because people always love a book recommendation and now that I've moved off

my child my children books I'm back on adult books again do you know what I'm watching at the moment it's on channel 4 called True Love have you heard about this the moment it's on channel four called true love have you heard about this no and it's about I mean elderly people says it's such a terrible term but um older

people I guess kind of pensioner age they go to a friend's funeral and he had a very kind of drawn out sad terrible death and they make this pact together that if any of them need to be kind of drawn out sad terrible death and they make this pact together that if any of them need to be kind of taken out like if they if they know there's something some awful death

coming their way that they will kill each other to avoid that awful death Is this true or it's no it's it's not true but it's

brilliant it's a really really good series I love it It's called True Love True Love I love a good recommendation It's a really, really good series. It's called True Love. True Love. I love a good recommendation. It's fantastic.

Because you honestly, you don't, it's a collection of older actors who are so phenomenal together that, and I wonder, I wonder what it's like, is there that much work

for actors at that age to act together? Are they always just playing like a grandparent or something? I don't know. Anyway, I thought the whole thing was, it's amazing. I've got one, two episodes left.

You're one, the mother from The Royal Family's in it. They're just cool characters. Wow, there's a good, Billy Piper's in it. Is she? No, no,

I must be looking at something else. Anyway. I haven't seen it yet. Anyway, that's my recommendation. It's really really good Quite sad Quite serious But also

Fantastic And also You're kind of going Yeah They should be allowed to do that Do you know what I mean Yeah I think everyone should be allowed to do that

Though like I just See people that go through The worst And it's not just for them Going through it It's for everyone else Going through it as well

Yeah Do you know Blue monday oh yeah today which is like today is it today was i think it was is it today i'm having a great day though it's the 15th yeah it's today oh my god happy blue monday day of recording we're recording today on Blue Monday. Which is a great Friday. Well, listen to this. So I was like, oh, Blue Monday, boo-hoo-hoo. So then I looked into it, and Blue Monday,

it's a PR stunt from a travel company. Never existed. A travel company back in the day tried to get this. Well, they didn't try. They succeeded. They asked a psychologist to develop a depression formula so they could use it to tell people that they're depressed on this day and to encourage them to go to the sun and go on sun holidays so it's not a thing blue monday is not a thing you're not depressed unless you

are obviously unless you are depressed i mean i'm not a faith healer but guys it's not true it's not true depression doesn't exist guys Cheer up Have a shower No but seriously Put on a nice outfit Do your make up Get your nice curly blow dry You'll feel amazing Bit of fake tan

You won't know yourself But yeah it's not real It's not true It's not true guys I just Yeah I think that like You're grand I was really thrilled

at myself that I'd gotten through Blue Monday very happy indeed actually there's no reason I do get that though you know when

like people get seasonal affective disorder when it's like because it's so dark so early it is but listen to this if you want good news

right I think it must be like 27 days away now because when I read it a few days ago it was 29 days away so maybe it was okay let's say 26 days away

the sun will set at 7 o'clock at night 26 days away so it's going to be light I know there's literally light

at the end of the tunnel and the tunnel is 26 days long you're like Newgrange. It's like, who needs Stonehenge? You've got Fahok Williams giving us all the news about the sun. My worst part of winter when I was younger was getting up in the dark. I find that incredibly traumatic. However, now, because I don't really work mornings that much anymore like I

usually I work nights or kind of late morning and that I don't have to go through that anymore so I'm not as I'm not as bitter about January as I used to be but I remember standing at the bus stop in my pajamas underneath my clothes going to college and all because in the pitch black I was I was awful it was horrible horrible isn't it funny though that you hate morning so much but like I can't do evenings like my mind just naturally shuts down at seven o'clock at night I'm like right my day's done and that's it I'm very lucky my job allows me to have a slow morning I like a slow morning you know I do I like I do I like a slow morning and that's why because your body

clock adjusts and that's why I find it so hard and I know that you do that you would do the pot at 5am if you could but and then I feel like I'm lazy because I want I don't want to get up in the morning to do it but my my body just doesn't work that way I'd love to do the pot at 8pm do you know what I mean well my because I wear that aura ring on my finger loads people ask me about that by the way I bought it two years ago and it's brilliant. It's like a fitness ring. But what you're saying is you have a different rhythm or something to me where like, even where you're supposed to sleep is completely different.

Like my bedtimes are based around because I'm so active in the morning. And it's like, it tells me, get all your stuff done in the morning because that's when you're most active and you're most like ready to go and do stuff. And then it watches you slump as a day. Well, you just go upwards, I go downwards. stuff. And then it watches you slump as well.

You just go upwards. I go downwards. Yeah, that's it. So I think we're doing a great job that we've managed to get this podcast. We've managed to get two years out of this podcast. Considering we live literally alternative lives when it comes to time. We're considerate of each other. Yeah,

I know. Yeah. So what I was going to say to you, what I've had to give up because I don't know what has happened to me. I think it's the craze of the bargains and because I love a bargain so much,

I've had to have, I'm on a shopping ban. But you know what the thing about the sales is? And okay, good for you that you're on a shopping ban because I mean, we all probably buy too much shite anyway.

But the problem with the sales is it's impossible to not get stuck in when you know some you you were you were the you could be the dope buying it for full price you could have been like earlier in October and so now I was walking through a sales in Brown Thomas for the day and I was like I'm a fucking idiot. You clean up in there you always get good stuff. I'm such a dope I would have bought that for full price three months ago. And that and that and that. And actually it puts you off shopping completely.

You're like, nothing's worth anything. It absolutely does not put me off shopping at all. The thrill of getting something. And particularly the thrill of getting something that I would have wanted. And now it's like 70% off. I'm literally like, you idiots. I would have paid full price, gobshoits. But I'm the other way. I'm like, I'm you idiots. I would have paid full price, gobshites. But I'm the other way.

I'm like, I'm the idiot because I would have paid full price. I'm the gobshite. This jacket's clearly only worth the tenner. Do you know what I mean? Brings me so much joy.

I don't know how the shopping ban's going to go because I, now I did start that when I started everything else, which was on the 6th of January. So what are we talking here? Is it like one item a month?

Is it like one item? No. A month of no items because I have but now saying that A month? Is that all? Yeah but there's another jacket

on sale now that I wanted from P Nation our favourite but I wanted the jacket last year and now it's half price but I'm on the shopping ban so I might have to send it

to Sven here and get him to buy it for me. Oh that's very testing. That's very testing.. So I might have to send it to Sven here and get him to buy it for me. Oh, that's very testing. That's very testing. I think I'll have to get it through Spencer. I feel, I have to say, yeah, there has to be a way around that. Surely there's a loophole in your own system. It's your system.

You just have to create the loophole. I'm just going to start sending Joanne links. Is it not a leap year this year? Can you not like right off the 28th? How does the leap year work? I don't know. The leap year, it confuses me.

My brother's birthday's in February. I can never remember which day. I get it wrong by two days. February's a wrong month for me. I can barely count as it is. The whole leap thing just completely throws me. And also,

whose idea, like, who just, is it something, I mean, I'm sure it's to do with the sun, moon and the stars, but like, is it not a bit mean, I'm sure it's to do with the sun, moon and the stars. But like, is it not a bit outdated now?

Do you know what I mean? It's not like we now live our lives by how high the sun is in the sky. We've clocks and shit now. So just lash it, like, stop taking that, stop putting in that extra year. It's no use anymore. It's a waste of time. It's like Pilates. What extra year?

I don't understand. Now I'm confused. 28 days in a leap year Except for No what is it What is it Jo 29 days in February In a leap year

And the reason is Because we'd go out of sync If we stopped doing it Eventually After years and years And years Summer would be in like December

It'd go all wrong Oh It's the long game Okay It can stay Got it It can stay I see

I thought it was because we needed to, like back in the day when we needed the sun to herd the sheep or whatever that we needed to know exactly what time it was to milk the cows etc and that that's why. But sure listen, I'm obviously not right. It's because

one year is 365 and a quarter days. So there's a quarter of a day that needs making up every four years. I'm not going to lie, I'm completely zoning out here. I can't. Anything to do with fractions, maths. I would have believed every single word that came out of your mouth

about the sheep and everything, Joanne, just so you know. I'm like, oh my god, that sounds about right. That makes sense. That makes sense that makes sense yeah totally does okay don't want to be plucking chickens in the dark

I get it yeah she's 10 right who wants to pluck who wants to pluck a chicken in the dark nobody they bite

Joe we've never fought with you interestingly enough now Joe's too chill I don't feel like it's in my interest very wise you're dead right my friend newest thing on the market supposedly

yes did you hear about it I think I know what you're going to say but I'm going to let you take this one because salmon sperm did you hear about it? I think I know what you're going to say, but I'm going to let you take this one because... Salmon sperm. Did you hear about the latest beauty craze to banish wrinkles? Yes.

Now... People are injecting it into their face. Sperm of the salmon. I'm going to tell you now that this is some purest one from some lad because you know what follows on from salmon sperm? Man sperm. So if they can get this rum rumor going that our face benefits from sperm being injected into it or layered on it or massaged

into it we're not going to stop at salmon are we we're going to be squeezing our boyfriends dry within a week and they know that and that's where that came from if you ask me also how the fuck did someone even discover that about salmon sperm? What sick bastard. Well, I suppose it's oily. It must be oily because fish themselves are oily. So someone wanked off a salmon. You've never wanked off a salmon.

And injected it into their face and said, look at the benefits. And then managed to talk it. This is the problem with Big Pharma. They've managed to talk these people into selling this salmon jizz for us. Now. Now. I draw the line. I'm sorry, but it's like people who, I mean, a lot of people do it. But some people eat their placenta and stuff.

Because it's, I just, there are. I do my placenta day in day out I would chew that thing I would chew it all day have you seen a placenta rather than rub fish semen into my face I don't mind the fish jizz or I don't I just feel like there's someone laughing at us I just feel like there's someone in a lab going, oh my God, these stupid, stupid women would do anything. Look how vain they are. Look at them squeezing sandwiches into their face. Ha ha ha.

This is Jeremy Beadle stuff. Joanne, I will see you in the next two weeks for our salmon cheers facial. Oh, you will indeed. Enjoy it. As I'm talking, I'm literally online booking myself in. Cheers facial. Oh, you will indeed. And you will enjoy it. And you will enjoy it. As I'm talking, I'm literally online

booking myself in. How dare you make a show out of me? Don't leave me behind. Cheers on me. Yes, exactly. Oh, so it's fish cheers. Okay, sign me up. There was something

I wanted to talk about that was in the paper, but Joanne actually didn't know about it and I had to send her the link. Jo, did you? It kind of got me thinking about double lives because I actually don't like, I don't want to go too into this, but it literally was all over the Daily Mail all week about.

So there's this footballer called Kyle Walker. He plays for Man City and he's been married to this woman for years and years and years. They have three kids. He plays for Man City and he's been married to this woman for years and years and years. They have three kids. He ended up supposedly on a break getting another girl pregnant, who is Lauren Goodman. So he got her pregnant and then the wife was obviously furious. But then he was going on and doing all these things. The wife and him got back together and he was like putting his three kids names on his football boots and not putting the fourth child that he fathered with the other one on the boots and like was just really like outcasting that child.

Or so we thought. Then it turns out that the two of them broke up again, the married couple, and he had gotten with your one during their marriage and had another baby who's now five months old. So essentially had led this whole double life. So had these two kids with this other woman and then was still with the wife and has three kids with the wife, but then was denying the other two kids when actually he was kind of having a relationship

with the other two kids. Well, so I'm as confused now as I was when she first tried to explain it to me but from what I can tell the woman that he was having the affair with she knew that he was married, yes? Yes So she was kind of part of it

if you know what I mean But she was like, look, I don't want him full time anyway it's grand, I'm just going to have his kids and we're going to have an affair So the only one who didn't know was the wife Yeah Show me a man who hasn't know was the wife. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, show me a man who hasn't had a double life, Joe. I'm waiting for your kids to crawl out from some pocket. I do. I do think, I do think having a double life is quite an insane thing to do.

Like, of course, there are circumstances where like, like back in the old days in old Hollywood when I was looking at this stuff, like a lot of, a lot of men had double lives because they were gay and they didn't want to come out and they kind of just had like the seven husbands of evan and hugo amazing book read it

it's about a double life but it got me looking into other people's double lives hit us remember arnold schwarzenegger so he was married to to Maria Shriver and he had a family with Maria Shriver and then he had an affair with the housekeeper which resulted in her having a child which he didn't tell the wife about for 10 years. Then she found out about the love child. They broke up and the family is like

kind of torn apart and Arnold Schwarzenegger's son with Maria Shriver by the way is a ride. I just had to get that in there. And he is the spitting image of Arnold. But he got away with it for 10 years and then they ended up breaking up. But like, there's a little double life. What about... And he's very good friends with his son.

They're very close. The son's gone into bodybuilding and stuff, which I thought was quite sweet. Well, it's nice not to deny that's unlike the other fella who's just an absolute creeper. And I mean if you're going to fuck around at least be sound to the kid which is what he has done so hats off to them all. I have a few more. Tiger

Woods obviously complete double life. The wife never knew about that. All of the sexing scandal and stuff that came out. Like no one knew about that. Like the whole world just thought he was the sound guy. Yeah. Not a sound guy. Do you remember your man Jussie Smollett?

No. Does anyone? Okay. So he was an actor, right? And he was on a show called Empire. And he came out as homosexual. And then he got beaten up by two men. And he claimed it was a hate crime.

So the two guys were supposedly extras on the show empire and then they said he actually paid us to do that to him and then it went to court and then and then it was thrown out of court for some reason but now it's back in court so he basically just wanted to further his like acting career and his reputation by pretending that he'd been attacked in a hate crime. How embarrassing. I mean, like, it's so extreme.

I guess it's like, it's a PR stunt. It's like the Blue Monday thing, but with violence, I guess. You're just trying to forward your own agenda. Just beat me up a little bit. Not too much,

just a little bit. It's so unethical I mean don't get me wrong we all like a bit of attention I used to go around with a plaster on my forehead when I was younger but like

that's taking it a bit too far but it riles it's just you're riling people up then do you know what I mean it's awful well obviously

as we knew so I was spreading fake news unbeknownst to myself Recently about Stephen Hawking Going to Jeffrey Epstein's island And asking for little people

To pull their cheeks open While they draw On someone's board Or whatever Anyway I was like It's It's so

Do you know how sometimes You hear a rumour About a celebrity And you're like I kind of know It mightn't be true But I hope I kind of hope it is

Because it's funny Yeah So anyway I did a little shout out I was like tell me rumors you've heard about celebrities that you think might be true or you'd love to be true there's one that I hope comes up I can't wait because like I know it's not true but it was it really did the rounds like even to this day well firstly everyone's gay okay I've had hundreds I got hundreds and hundreds of these in

everyone's gay everyone's a beard who did you get who did you get Kanye West George Clooney everyone's everyone

absolutely everyone's gay Joe you're gay brilliant I'm gay there was wild stories about Tom Cruise like getting chased through the jungle

like by men when he's on set like this is something he asks to be done like what and obviously we will stay allegedly for all of this stuff okay

so everyone's gay most people have had a rib removed to either pleasure themselves or to do Bikram what's another one a lot of

as we know the classic the gerbil up the arse Richard Gere rumour is still going around that's the one yeah yes

yeah that was probably the most popular one to come in I that's yeah that was the one

but obviously it's not true but I'd like to say another thing I'd like to say another thing about the rib thing right

I like honestly even if I could I still wouldn't go down on myself like absolutely ridiculous no thank you it's ridiculous just you just pay someone to go down more of a god getting your rib removed just stop um so there's a lot of other people who've been accused of having tiny animals up their rectum pat Patrick Swayze apparently was fond of it. Who did he have up there? Marilyn Manson.

His was a hamster. This is what was sold to him. Hamsters are not that small. Jesus. Marilyn Manson, again, rib removed

and something up his rectum. Kim and Chloe, also ribs removed. Then we start getting into the more niche rumours. Yeah. A lot of dalliances. One more niche rumours a lot of a lot of dalliances

one that came up quite a lot was Ross Kemp and Gordon Ramsay as lovers came up quite often and these are all these are different people sending me I checked the names it's actually kind of amazing

how did that start I don't know but that came in about four or five times stop it I've never heard that

I feel so behind the times yeah one of the more again one of the more niche ones Elton John had his dog's voice boxes removed

so burglars couldn't hear them bark and he would attack them that sounds actually very clever Winston another big popular trend everyone has a penis

Ciara has a penis Lana Del Rey has a penis did I come up with a penis you did Vogue well done did I

yes you did well I'm really happy thank you very much I'm so glad I feel like I'm in there sorry are you telling me I'm in there

I'm in there with Lady Gaga yes to have a penis yes I've never been more thrilled isn't that gorgeous now I'm so glad. I feel like I'm in there. Sorry, are you telling me I'm in there? I'm in there with Lady Gaga. Yes. To have a penis. Yes. I'm fucking, I've never been more thrilled. Isn't that gorgeous, now? I thought you'd like that.

I'm really happy now. You've made my year. Two other Vogue Williams rumours. Vogue Williams wears Sally Hansen. I do not. Well. I used to when I was younger, but I couldn't really afford it. It's a fake tan, Jo.

It's a competitor of Bear. Oh, it's no competitor. afford it. It's a fake tan, Jo. It's a competitor of Bear. Oh, it's no competitor. Excuse me. It's no competitor of Joe. Thank you very much. Sorry. We've no concerns in that corner. I stand corrected.

Yeah. They're not a threat. If somebody would like to create a fake scandal about Bondi Sands or and or Isle of Paradise, I would greatly appreciate that. Thank you very much. I'm guessing it was mice up a rectum or they removed a rib because that seems to be what everyone does. Bondi Sands put a gerbil up

Isle of Paradise's bum. That's what happened. There was some, I mean, you know, Lea Michele Can't Read came in a couple of times. I don't know where. David Beckham has tunnels under their house to take women in and out by foot, not by boat. That was very specific.

If anyone could mention where those tunnels are, we would greatly appreciate that. Knock, knock, knock. Can we get the coordinates, please? Can we get the coordinates for the Beckham Tunnels? I'll tell you what, I'd actually be going through the tunnels

to get to Victoria. I am obsessed with her now. Watching her makeup videos, I'm just like, I want that. I just want to be her. I know, she's gorgeous. Tunnel me into her wardrobe.

Not that anything would fucking fit, but I'd hang around in there for a while anyway. Michael Douglas got throat cancer from going down on too many women however I believe he actually

said that himself what I'm pretty sure Michael Douglas said that himself Jo can you fact check that for me please what

yeah yeah yeah I knew that sounded familiar yeah sorry you're blaming women on your throat cancer. Like what?

Like, sorry. Well, he's given himself a good angle on getting throat cancer basically. He's like, it wasn't the cigars. It was because I'm just really good

at going down on women. And also, yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you saying? What are we made of? I wonder, does he just not go down on people anymore then?

Because that marriage wouldn't last for me go on if he thought it caused him throat cancer you'd think he'd give it up but maybe not no look at smokers

they get lung cancer they can't give up Tom Hanks buys unborn babies on Wayfair and eats them now I knew that there was a lot of

rumours about celebrities eating babies I had no idea Wayfair was involved there was this thing on Wayf celebrities eating babies i had no idea wayfarer was involved there was this thing on wayfarer right like i'll tell you where this rumor came from okay so there's like some items are really really expensive on wayfarer and supposedly the rumor it's so ridiculous the rumor was that you weren't actually buying a chest of drawers you were buying a child it was like a child, a child trafficking.

Oh, they were in the wardrobes. It's not, it's not true. But what a terrible rumor about your company. And we love Wayfarers. They don't do that. I love the folks like,

that's not true, guys. Just in case you thought they were selling kids in wardrobes. It's not true. Okay. Don't believe everything you read or hear.

Me with a dick true Vogue Williams tried to give Ryan Turbiddy a handjob but she accidentally pinched all his pubes off now that came in a couple of times Vogue

I didn't I didn't want to I don't mean to embarrass you I'm not going to ask you if it's true or false if I had my hand down Ryan Tur Tuberdy's trousers

I wouldn't be so cruel as to not let you and the listeners know I've never had my hand down his pants I can promise you that my hand has been down quite a few

sets of trousers but not those ones okay thanks for clearing that up Fag the hand job queen that's what I'm called that's her official

statement on that. Mariah Carey requests rose-scented toilet roll. I'm sure that's probably true. That doesn't seem that big of a stretch. And now we're getting into some of my favourites. Simon Cowell puts a Vaseline pot in each of his shoes to make himself taller. I'd say Wayfarer rage.

And they're like, how come Vaseline gets to make Simon Cowell taller but we are fucking selling kids in wardrobes because that's what was decided for you Wayfair there's my one of my

one of my someone goes Glastow rumours are the best I assume Glastow rumours are when a rumour gets sent around Glastow but they don't have

the right Wi-Fi to check if it's true or not like that was what I assumed she said Glastow rumours they don't have the right Wi-Fi to check if it's true or not. Yeah. That was what I assumed. She said, Glastonbury rumours are the best. One year I heard Richard killed Judy

and then turned the gun on himself. That is desperate. Do you know what? Really bad. Listening to these rumours, right, I actually think

I've gotten away quite lightly with my own personal rumour mail. So I'm actually, I feel, I feel privileged. This is one of my favourites. I heard Daniel Radcliffe woke up hungover in a field

so he caught a cow and drank the milk from its udders. I mean if you were thirsty enough I suppose. So scum. I'm walking through a field

just seeing Daniel Radcliffe under a cow getting stuck in. Suckling a cow. I mean, the hangover thirst, there's nothing like it. Oh, I mean, you would. You drink hot water bottle water. You drink toilet water. Anything. You drink toilet water.

Anything to quench that thirst. Yeah. And nothing quenches it. And then this one, very specific. My friend said she found a bag of dead parrots outside Padraig Harrington's home in Bray. Keep them coming, guys. keep them coming guys well thank you everyone

so much for listening that was the main episode of My Therapist Goes To Me with Lee Belk Williams and Joanne McNally I've added a Washington date on my little American jaunt

on February the 27th so I have I start out there on February 25th of Chicago 27th of Washington 28th and 29th I start out there on February 25th of Chicago 27th of Washington 28th and 29th I'm in Philadelphia

then back out March 28th San Fran March 29th San Fran March 30th San Fran April 3rd

LA all tickets are available on joannmcnally.com tell your friends