My Therapist Ghosted Me - Madonna, Dermot & Jada

Episode Date: October 20, 2023

Vogue has been to see Madonna and she's OBSESSED. Meanwhile, Joanne has a big question for her. Plus, Dermot in Canada, Jada everywhere and Vogue at yet another kid's party. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/MTGM is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! For tickets, merch and more, visit mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player Original Podcast. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Goes With Me with me, Vogue Williams. And Joanne McNally. And our news tonight is... I was going to say This is very News night What are we going to do first? I don't know

There's actually just so much So much that I think that we Like That we have And I just There's a lot to get through I've had a great week A great week a great week

go on well tell us about you you obviously you've been very sick because I'm such a trooper I didn't want to bring it up so thank you Joanne for bringing it up

I'm feeling sorry for me it's okay I just got your text whatsapps are always open folks send over anyone you want me to ask him so basically I have a doctor over here she's amazing.

And I was going to get a, I was going to go and have an appointment. Then I was like, you know, I'd rather suffer a while longer and not pay for the appointment because, you know, I'm a bit scabby and I like to just like, not that I'm scabby,

I just would rather not be on antibiotics and not spend money. Does that make sense? Sure. Choose death, death over health. I would rather die than spend money. Okay? Sure. She's death, death over health. I would rather die than spend money, okay? Indeed. Okay.

But so I was like, ah, no, I'll be grand. She was like, do you want to do a phone consult? I was like, no, don't worry, I'll be grand. And then, like, over the weekend, it wasn't getting any better. But then my face started swelling, and I still kind of was like on Saturday, no, I'll be grand, I'll be grand. And now it's kind of swelled a bit more. I'm starting to look like that little dog on the advert

so I had to ring her and I have Sinusitis which is named you know that Churchill dog no one knows oh the Churchill dog

Jesus guys sorry there's a lot of dogs working out there in show business folks everyone knows the Churchill dog okay name one other famous dog

Scooby Doo it does not count there's almost a dog In every fucking act The Dulux dog Oh the Dulux dog Is amazing Beethoven

Is working He's still working Pippin Your man Who pulls kids Out of wells Lassie Where he's at

I'm sure he's still working Lassie was cancelled I hate to tell you What did he do? I think he bit someone On the show And Lassie was cancelled I hate to tell you What did he do? I think he bit someone on the show and Lassie has been cancelled Another dirty bastard

in show business But if there's any openings Winston is ready and waiting He's ready He's camera ready He's good to go The dog in

And Just Like That Charlotte's got a dog Who is What dog in Just Like That? Who has a dog? Charlotte and her husband have a dog Ah come on

That dog doesn't even say a line He's got nothing to do with that show He's terrible Just like that. Who has a dog? Charlotte and her husband have a dog. Ah, come on. That dog doesn't even say a line. He's got nothing to do with that show. He's terrible. He's in almost every scene. Anyway, I don't want to... You're aggressive today. Joanne, I'm not here to mo...

Do you know what the problem is? I can't really hear you that well because actually I have been meaning to go for a hearing test and I was meant to go last week and I haven't gone and I'm really struggling.

I don't know if it's the... I don't know if it's the illness I don't know if it's the illness that I have. It's something. Yeah, maybe it is. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's it. Anyway, so.

Skippy? Skippy's a kangaroo. Indeed, you're correct. Somebody sent me. Oh my God. Someone sent me a video of this kangaroo, right, in a river

holding this guy's dog by the neck and he was like beefed up like that kangaroo that you fancy, Steve or guy's dog by the neck and he was like beefed up like that kangaroo that you fancy Steve or something yeah yeah yeah

they're hot they're hot when they're worked up kangaroos they're stood up and they're properly built like they're they've got some

serious pecs it's a real English term hench kangaroos are very hench and they've but they're do you know what really lets them down

they're teeny tiny hands yeah I know you see I really lets them down? They're teeny tiny hands. Yeah, I know. You see, I find that attractive because I don't have small hands. So I like a small hand. That would, I think it lets them down because they're so hench.

And then just these tiny, tiny hands. It's like they're on steroids. That's what it looks like. It does look like that. Can I actually ask you a question about a different animal? Just, just, I want to just get your opinion right.

Spelly and I were talking about what cartoon kind of character you used to fancy when you were younger and I said I used to fancy Michelangelo

one of the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles the orange one and he said it was disgusting that I used to fancy him because he was a turtle but he was a very

manly looking turtle and I wondered did you fancy any of the turtles I don't remember them by name because I wrote all of them so I had an orgy with all of them

in my dreams but I do remember being everyone fancied the turtles again we're being set up for failure here because they're sexy turtles everyone knows they've got like those headbands and they're doing all the nunchucks and all. What's not to fancy?

Some days I even fancy Splinter. There, I've said it. Okay? I'm pretty sure I had a little horn for one of those musketeer dogs. Oh God, gorgeous. Gorgeous. Another famous dog.

Joanne used to fancy Babe when Babe was in Pig in the City. She's a picture of Babe up on her wall I'm just looking up here now other dogs working in show business let's get this Clifford in really big movie well I've never heard of him

oh Einstein in Back to the Future another busy busy showbiz dog well he's not busy busy he was in one movie there's three Back to the Future movies

was he an awesome show I should have taken a bit of googling I'd have thought should I google it right now Rush

there was that dog in The Artist Christ who watched The Artist I didn't watch that it was a film basically about a dog. Oh, I remember that little dog.

I remember what he looked like. He went to the Oscars. He did? Yeah, he was a really famous dog. He went to the Oscars? He was at the Oscars and he looked fantastic. He had a little bow tie.

Shut up. He did. I swear. Sometimes I try to get Winston into some of my content if I'm working with a brand and they're like, sorry, we don't want any dogs

in the content. I know if I had Bertie little baby Bertie they'd want the baby in but not old battered Winnie no no no Winnie's a good looking dog there's like there's dogs that are a bit you know so you can get a real scaggledy dog but

Winston's a high end fashion dog yeah Winston is absolutely gorgeous he looks like he's done about 8 rounds of Kerastase. Or Olaplex is what we would use. What's a really good K18? Is that it? We use K18 on Winnie.

Of course we do. We're not monsters in this house. It's very clear. There's a lot of leave-in conditioner products there. A lot of serums. Have you ever met him, Joe? I have, yeah. You've met Winnie?

When did you meet Winston? he is a gentleman I don't think you were there actually hilariously why would she be? I'm never here when he's just scooting through town on his own everyone's always in my home

without my knowledge do you know what I can't stop who's storing stuff in my house right now Alzo Max Joanne Megan and Amber five's storing stuff in my house right now. Alzo, Max, Joanne,

Megan and Amber. Five people storing stuff in my home. Vogue, sorry, I meant to say to you, is your house up for sale?

Oh God, yeah. Like, how, how are you telling us about having the mumps as your weekly news?

And your house is up for sale. Because people were sending it to me being like, oh, do you come with this? Do you know what? I know. I was like, come with what? And they're like, your house is on sale. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what.

You should never tell me. Because I have two little feelings about that, okay? I'm really pissed off because all those news outlets put my whole house up. And like, it's very like you can you can kind of work out where it is and I tried to get it taken down and they took down a few pictures but not all of them and it took over like three days for it to happen and like with everything that's kind of going on it's like you kind of I don't want like people knowing where I live like to be honest with you yes we are selling the house we haven't even looked at anywhere else

to go we don't even know anywhere else we'd want to go I just feel that was like we talk shit on the phone I was on to you last night about I actually forgot

this is huge news I mean not only is it huge news for you it's actually all joking aside it's actually huge news huge huge

news for me as well I don't know if you've realised I've rented a flat on my own for the first time in my life 20 minutes from your fucking house. Well, guess what, Joanne? And you didn't bother to tell me that you were not going to be there. Joanne, let

me tell you something that's going to make your goddamn day, okay? We are not moving far. Where are we moving to? I need to let the estate agent know. We're not moving to the country anymore. Don't worry. We had it in our mind for a while that we're going to move a little bit further out of London and there I am like, oh no, it's fine. It'll be like this. And then I was like,

actually, no, I love London. I'm not moving from London. I'm moving. If anything, Joanne, I could end up as your neighbour. You just don't know. I'm not moving that far. Don't worry. I wouldn't do it to you. Are you mad? So, what are we talking here? Do I have to get a car? I don't worry I wouldn't do it to you so what are we talking here do I have to get a car

I don't really know what's happening I'll tell you what I look after the house in Ireland we're on the phone talking about Jada Pinkett Smith and then she's like okay see you later it just feels more important to me okay so I went to,

I had more children's birthday parties this weekend, but don't worry, only two. Okay. I went to one, right? Do you remember you used to go bowling when you were younger? I have had complaints about the amount of children's parties you're going to. It's starting to get a bit creepy now, isn't it? It's like, what is she really doing there?

She had another children's party. I'm like, listen, she's around a woman. I went to, I'll tell you. I can't stop her. There's just so much, there's so much news. Yeah, so I went to a kid's party

with the bowling balls and you remember you used to bowl and like you'd knock the pins over and they'd swipe them all off and they'd set in a new set. The pins are now on strings. So they just like fly down from the sky. Hush them back up.

No, they're just on strings and they just hoosh them back up. Makes so much more sense. Oh, yes. And then just kind of replace them via some like robotic hand. Yeah, they just did it. What's next?

We'll be flying to Mars next. It's so advanced. Oh my God. Elon Musk won't sleep. it's so advanced it's so advanced oh my god Elon Musk won't sleep I was looking at it though and I was like was it always on strings I had to ask someone

I was like was it always on strings and they were like no I couldn't remember I think you were spiked at that party I'll tell you something

bowling is the only thing I'll admit to not being good at I'm quite good at sports bowling I'm not good at it I don't know why'm not good at it. I don't know why. I don't understand it. Is bowling a sport? Is it not more just like a hobby?

A sporty hobby. Is it in the Olympics? Is it, yeah. It was featured in the Olympics in 1988. So no. It doesn't mean it's not a sport. And featured sounds a bit like a pity party. Like they just kind of threw a bowling ball

across the screen at one stage. Remember, that's bowling done. Next. Well, good. Bowling is too hard. I don't want to do that. Anyway, Vogue, we don't want to hear about the children's party.

We want to hear about Madonna. Please. Well, Joanne, I have one last thing to say about children's parties, okay? So I went to another one on Sunday after three hours sleep. Some of us have had some tough times, and I fell off the sober October wagon for one night only.

One night only, and I don't feel bad about it. I don't, because it wasn't my fault. I went to see Madonna. You don't feel bad about an insane rule you put on yourself. I know, but I was really trying so hard, but I went to see Madonna, shouldn't feel bad about an insane rule you put on yourself I know but I was really trying so hard but I went to see Madonna and I swear to God

I heard her shout from stage Vogue start drinking now start heavily drinking and I did and I didn't stop drinking till three o'clock in the morning and ruined the next day

Did she strike a pose? Was she like did she sing Vogue? She sang Vogue She was And did she look you in the eye? Like she looked me pose was she like did she sing Vogue she sang Vogue she was like she looked me in the eye she serenaded me

it was like no one else was in the room just me talk me through the entire thing because she was sending me videos and it looked

it was incredible Madonna looked incredible she was incredible she was such an amazing performer

because you know when you sometimes go and see people and it's like oh god they're kind of half arsing it she didn't half arse it at all and and i stayed till the very end till she left the stage and i never do that for anyone she was i know so yeah i text you out on my shows after seven minutes once I text you on I'm like what time will you be finished and then I'm like okay God I'll leave ten minutes before off she goes

she just comes in kind of does a lap and then just leaves I stay till ten minutes before the end ten minutes before the end I remember one time I was like you're like I left ten minutes before the end. 10 minutes before the end. I remember one time I was like, oh, because you're like, I left 10 minutes before the end. And then I said something and she goes, oh, I didn't hear that bit.

And I was like, that was half an hour before the end, Vogue. She's like, oh, okay. I left when you told me to leave. So that was actually your fault. You set me up. You set me up. I actually did.

I didn't purposely. I think I moved something around on the night and she toddled out a portion of minutes before the end yeah come on Gigi let's go

no I went and sat with my mother for a very uncomfortable amount of time because the shit that was coming

out of your mouth I was like ha ha ha ha ha that's funny mom is it ha ha ha please let me leave Are you drinking beer Jo?

Yeah we can get pissed over Fakes not But you must maintain An air of professionalism At all times Are you having a drink Jo? I'm on sober October I might have had a little

What time is it over there? Joanne you're in Ireland I'm in London October I might have had a little What time is it over there? Joanne you're in Ireland I'm in London It's quarter to five Do you know who I bumped into today? And I really love her Ruth Langsford And she listened to our pod

She was really sound And I did lose a woman with them Great chance She's really sound Really sound We love Ruth Langsford Madonna So back to Madonna

I actually had to And I know I shouldn't do this and we're not ageist in any way but like I had to google her age because she just looks so incredible her legs

everything her dancing her singing flawless her sound went for 10 minutes and she was just left standing there

so she started telling stories which I know but like I was thrilled because you're getting this like extra little bit of Madonna so she's literally just standing there talking know, but like I was thrilled because you're getting this like extra little bit of Madonna. So she's literally just standing there talking to the crowd. And she was saying that when she moved to New York, the thing is that like she moved with like $45 and that's all she had.

So she'd no money. And she used to go on dates with guys because her place that she was staying was just a room. There was no like shower or bath or anything. So she couldn't wash. So she said she used to just go on dates with guys and basically give blowjobs for showers Fair enough She's a survivor

She'll do what needs to be done I love the I love these celebrity stories about like I was so poor I used to eat rat carcass in the basement look at me now

there's always some big like rat like there's like it's like they're in competition who has a sadder story

yeah who's who's raggier to richier but that doesn't surprise me about Madonna

because I think Madonna she's she's so open about it she would she would have no shame about stuff like that she's like that's just

a fucking transaction I'm giving something I'm getting something I want in return and I mean there were probably like people that she wanted to give blowies to

I'd be more like I wouldn't be mad like I don't know I'd rather have sex than give a blowie I think it's less interesting well she might have

been going out with them 100% Less work as well Less work She might have been Going out with them She might have been But I saw this story

Alan won't let me Into the bath Unless I give him a blowjob He just stands in front of the door I'm like please Alan I want to relax He just came in there He's like will I make you a sandwich

I'm like I'm too on the pod He's like Can you not eat a sandwich On the pod I was like No I can't fucking eat a sandwich On the pod

You can eat a sandwich On the pod I'll just do my whole I'll just do a spiel Because you love TikTok so much Did you see that girl On TikTok That

Because you love it so much That went on this date With this man And basically she went She got him to pay for she ordered like 48 oysters and then he was like

this is bullshit and he just left and like people are kind of divided so it's kind of like what Madonna did but she did it for oysters instead of bats

I do like I do feel for I do feel for men with the whole pressure to pay on dates things. But I think sometimes they can be, because they're very defensive about it,

they can be really rude about it. Because there's so much talk online about what's right and what's wrong. And then you'll get these, you'll get women saying their needs and demands and they're like outrageous, do you know what I mean? And then men feel like they're being kind of pushed into a corner to buy six grand's worth of oysters on the first date. This has always been my reel.

I don't know where you stand on this, Vogue, and this is, if I'm on a date with, if I'm on a date with a guy. Oh my God, I know what you're about to say. This is the God's honest truth,

look. If I'm going to ride him, I'll let him pay. If I'm not going to ride him, I'll insist on paying my own way. I would say, right. And I think that's the fairest thing to do.

I really do. I think that's fair. I would say, right. And I think that's the fairest thing to do. I really do. I think that's fair. I think that if you're going to like, if you're going to see them again, then you should, you don't have to pay and you can go halves the next time. But if you are not going to see them again,

and then, then you should go halves on the first date. Yes. Absolutely. I totally agree. Who the hell is going around With 48 oysters Swimming around their stomach

Like that's so dodgy She had no intention Of having sex with him Because that is like danger That's a power play That's her gown Fuck you buddy See ya

Why that On behalf of women everywhere 48 oysters please I know And a bottle of verve to cluck are oysters not an aphrodisiac yeah they are but I don't think

you're not going to want to go riding anyone if you've eaten 48 giant snots from a shell well sorry maybe she was being really sane maybe she didn't fancy them at all and she was like

look I'm going to give this a crack I'm going to try and be aroused in this situation, hand me 48 oysters please I don't, listen, I and a bottle of Verve to cluck I used to, I remember when I was like, when I first

moved to London as well, I didn't have that much money so I used to go to events because then I could like drink loads, there'd always be champagne at them so I could drink loads for free and then you'd get the little bits of food going around and then I'd be off out. So it was like my free pre-drinking. So we've all done it.

And like, it's bad. But like, obviously she wanted 48 oysters and couldn't buy them herself. So I got someone else to use. No, she was playing him like a fiddle. No one needs 48 of anything. You know what I mean 48 oysters seems excessive And she was filming herself

And everything Being like Yeah no She knew exactly What she was doing This sounds like revenge I think she's She's paying it forward

Whatever someone's done to her She's out for revenge You know what I mean Do you know when you carry All your like Bitterness and issues Into the next relationship I'm going to show you she's out for revenge with, you know what I mean? Do you know when you carry all your like bitterness and issues into the next relationship? I'm going to show you.

You know that really healthy cycle that happens. Tick, tick. But at least she got oysters out of it. Madonna was just giving blowies like which seems like a lot just for a shower.

I know. Maybe she was in the shower. I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, back to Madonna. Anyway, did you see there was an article

written about her today and it was like when will you ever grow up Madonna and I just thought like and she said she said in her concert as well

she was like to age is a sin like that's what people always say to age is a sin and she's so right and like she was like

like wearing lingerie and kind of like dancing really raunchy but that's Madonna and that's what you kind of want from her. And she looks fucking amazing. I think I'm sexually attracted to her. I'm pretty sure I am.

You would be. It's Madonna. I would go down on Madonna. I would. Thank you. Well, I'm sure she listens to the podcast, so she'll probably be on to you. What time does this go out on a Friday?

One in the morning. Well, I guarantee By ten past one You'll be going down To Madonna Oh my god I'm so excited Yeah I read this amazing piece

About her In The Atlantic About how Like exactly what she says That's always been her message She's like I'm not going to go away

I'm not going to accept What you have told me About Sexuality women. And they just want you to, if you're going to age, you need to go off and die in the bushes because no one wants to see that shit. one of the girls called her and she's going against the grain and she's never going to go and that's what we have to admire

about her she's resetting standards she's a punk she is a punk and she's like she honestly if you ever get the chance

to go and see Madonna go and see Madonna like I was completely blown away and I wouldn't say that I'm some mega fan who listens to Madonna all the time

because I wasn't but like it's such a savage show and she got her kids involved. She's making the kids pay their way. Yeah.

Go on. They're all in the show. She's the kids that work. She's the kids that, do you want, as I said, click clack. She has to make the money.

Click clack, they got to make their way. Okay. Clippy, she's like, clip clop kids. Get out of that stage. Clip clop,

clip clop for mummy. Well, I, because she mentioned that her kids were all here and it was a really special night and I was like, oh grand, stage. Clip, clap. Clip, clap for mummy. Well, because she mentioned that her kids were all here and it was a really special night and I was like, oh, grand, whatever.

They are, right, Mercy, one of her kids is a pianist and she was the most incredible piano player.

She's got a 10-year-old daughter and her dancing was the best dancing I have ever seen in my life. She was like in these over-the-knee boots, these shiny boots, really high and she like in these over the knee boots these shiny boots

really high and she like jumped up in the air did this like mad kick and then landed in one of those amazing poses

Blue Ivy's gonna be raging oh I'd say Blue Ivy is absolutely sickened fuming she's like

I'm a celebrity dancing child there's only room for one of us bitch that was really aggressive I apologise they were very very good and She's like, I'm a celebrity dancing child. Is there any room for one of us, bitch? That was really aggressive. I apologize.

They were very, very good. It's okay, Joanne. If you want to talk about an 11-year-old like that, that's fine. They're going to have a dance-off. You know, the way they do. I'm sorry. With the dancing. I was going to say Zoolander.

Is it dance-off off I don't know Joanne Joanne's just staring at me does he even google are you googling anything I don't know

what you're talking about I don't know what to google were they dancing each other's faces and then step back and put their arms

that's kind of what like her dancing was like it was so good do you ever see those drag queens who do that drop like she was doing

that drop yes what oh my god she was like honestly she was doing that drop. Yes. What? Oh my God. She was like, honestly, she was so much better than Blue Ivy. I know.

Well, Blue Ivy, I did see a lot of progression in her choreography from beginning of tour to end of tour. I've seen a couple of comparison videos and she has vastly improved.

Well, I will say Madonna's children are so incredibly talented, and I just, like, they must have just, like, caught it off her, or else they worked really hard for it. I don't know. Yeah, she obviously fucking...

Like, if I had children that I knew of, I would find them. That's a real man, that's a real dad joke. Do you have any kids kids none that I know of you can have that one for your show thanks man so unique

I would do exactly what she did I would put them into like I get them really good at something really young then you can make money

off them yeah like what Sandra did with you you've got to do it David Banda her other son who Brian

I went with my friend Brian he was obsessed with him every time he came on stage he was like look there he is there he is again he is pretty hot now what age is he

before I say that in public he's 18 ooh okay that's a bit on the nose bit on the nose He is pretty hot. Now, what age is he before I say that in public? He's 18. Ooh, okay. That's a bit on the nose. Bit on the nose. But if you were 60 years younger, Vauke. If I was 18. He'd be a good option for you.

If I was 80. If I was 80 years younger. He's only 18. That's desperate that I said that. Oh, fucking hell. Joanne! What? I'm a man. I've turned into a dad today.

Don't put that in in come here to me I sent Joanne a video as well from the night I was running to go to the toilet because I love the gig so much I would literally run between like

when she changed and as I was running down I think you went sorry I think you went to the toilet about five times during my show that you stayed after for 14 minutes

I'm highly insulted by all this Joanne McNally, I've been to your show three times and I will go again. I'll do the port blotch. Is it the lack of lingerie? I would like more nudity,

if I'm honest. Okay? Yeah, so would I. I don't find the jumpsuits attractive. I want nudity. Am I over them now? Yeah, you're right. Tits and teeth.

That's the new mantra for 2024. Tits and teeth. Get them out. No, but I was running down to go to the toilet and there was a security guard standing there and like

he was standing there asleep do you see remember I said to that video he was standing up fast asleep like it couldn't have been louder

and like the fact that he was able to sleep standing up I found so impressive it's amazing like what what day has that man had

but also you know those jobs where people they kind of stand at doors or do you know It's amazing Like what What day has that man had But also You know those jobs Where people They kind of stand at doors Or do you know Like big venues Like that Big shows

There's so many staff Who were just there To kind of Stop people going Through certain doors And Security I guess is the job

But I'm not talking about Like actual security guards I'm talking about Kind of the younger ones who are just, you know, the same with a music festival. They're just paid to sit at a gate

to make sure no one goes through that gate. How they don't all fall asleep out of pure fucking boredom. I can't like, that man has probably just been standing there staring ahead of himself for nine to 13 to potentially 24 hours. I think if that was me though,

I'd like read a book or I'd watch a series of something or you're not allowed to do that at work or no? I wouldn't say I wouldn't say I wouldn't say I'd say because

you're supposed to have your eyes on the now the kids at the festivals doing the gates are definitely on their phones and all but he's probably like not allowed to do that.

I don't think Madonna would feel very safe if like her security guards is watching Bridgerton do you know what I mean we've all been there on jobs like I used to hand out leaflets

in Chicago and I used to just stand there for like five minutes because I knew that the man I was doing it for got a certain train and then I'd wait until he had passed

so he'd be like oh look at the girls they're doing a great job being my friend Johanna and then we just leave. So I've had some pretty boring jobs as well I have to say now. Yeah. And like some boring jobs can be very well paid this one was not. I quit after two days it's like I actually I mentally cannot cope. What did you have to do? It was I was it was a really a really weird, I was just, I mean, I'm going to say selling mortgages in a bank, but obviously that's not what it was,

but it was something about walking around a bank. You must have been really good at that job. Like, okay, you just walk around all day. I'm like,

okay. Just in a bikini in the bank. Handing out flyers about mortgages in a bank. I can't remember the details, but I do remember it was one of those jobs I just never went back I did my second time

I was like I can't do this but I'm not mature enough to quit I did do a deep dive on Madonna do you want to hear some stuff about her? always did you know she was married to Sean Penn? he was a lot older than her wasn't he? yeah but I totally forgot

that she was married to Sean Penn and she was married to your man Guy Ritchie obviously she had her son with Guy Ritchie and Guy Ritchie walked away hang on it's so bad that I even looked up this but I couldn't help myself

Guy Ritchie got between he got 76 million between 76 and 92 million dollars off her for the divorce whoa when he was 40 no wonder she's back on the road

Madonna her assets are worth around 900 million dollars she also dated Vanilla Ice what yeah

that's a bit scarlet no Vanilla's a ride ah Vanilla Ice we're calling him Vanilla you have to say the Ice bit Vanilla

not if you know him as well as you do Joanne I know Well we're good pals He's in the DMs now And I'm like vanilla Calm yourself V stop it

Oh my god Speaking of which Do you know who I am convinced I walked past In Toronto Who Dermot Kennedy Google if he was

Now I wouldn't trust anything You've said about Toronto Because you were obviously, you were on edibles a lot. We don't know what's fact or fiction. I had one. I had one. He is on tour in Canada. Oh my God.

He's on tour in Canada. Yeah. So basically people were tagging me because he was saying like I'm on my way to Canada and he was listing all the places that I've been. I was like, oh my God, Dermot. Stop it. I haven't invented you. You're obsessed with me. Stop it.

So he was going to like Edmonton and Calgary and all the same places I went to. And was like oh my god Dermot stop it I like invented you you're obsessed with me stop it so he was going to like Edmonton and Calgary and all the same places I went to and so I knew he was in Canada and then obviously I didn't think about it again

and then I was walking down the street unedible sober clean minded and these two men walked towards me

and I kind of recognised them and they just looked Irish they just had that Irish head that we have yeah I can't explain it it's not explainable it's just

it's just we just know each other we just know ourselves so two Irish heads came up and I looked at them and I kind of recognised them from I think

back when I was working in MCD for a bit and then there was this little lad behind them wearing this big hoodie and it was pulled up. And I got a glimpse of a side.

And I tell you now, I think it was Dermot. Are you sure Dermot's little? Is he little? What height is Dermot? He's littler than I thought he'd be. Oh, no. See, that really just like the problem there is. But everyone's smaller in real life because they appear big on screen.

Whenever I meet anyone, they're like they're like oh my god you're huge so not everyone is smaller than I am no we're the other way I get the same they're like I thought you were quite small

and I'm like no it's just because you're so tall that I look like Polly Pocket besides you but I am tall in my own right

anyway Dermot if it was you fucking rude I forgot about Dermot I walked in Winnipeg so you could climb

okay I'm sure Dermot's going to be really upset about that night I walked in Calgary so you could run Dermot I crawled through Edmonton

so you could hang glide so you could soar my friend Dermot I'd love to I told you I'd have to go to one of his gigs. He won't have his ex

he'd frighten me. I'd rather not. I think we've kind of fallen out now we're in some sort of cold war. I'm annoyed with him and he doesn't know

who I am. Which just isn't great. Which is not great and it's rude. I wish you well. Oh she declined to have a star in the Hollywood

Walk of Fame. Why? I don't know because we like a bit of recognition so I wouldn't I probably wouldn't agree with that

Trump has one of them and they're always trying to get it removed and everyone's always like graffitiing it and stuff and they're like we're not removing it

Oh God Trump is just kind of grim I wouldn't even walk on that I'd try and avoid that one Denise Richards' daughter whose name I don't know is a sex worker that. I just try and avoid that one. Denise Richard's daughter, whose name I don't know, is a sex worker. She has an OnlyFans channel.

She does very well. She's done a collab with Denise. Her mother. I don't know what the collab looks like. Is it just kind of sexy? I assume it's just like sexy photos. It is a bit odd. I read that and I was like, God, that's your mother who's doing stuff like that for you like i don't

like i hold no judgment for people for lots of things but like you're her mother and you're doing that to like sell stuff on only fans with your daughter which is basically it's like a sex site it's turned into and I just think that like I just saw that and I was just like that is so grim well I think a lot of people felt the same as you

because there was quite the backlash quite the backlash didn't someone else do didn't some model pose with her daughter recently for an oh Heidi Klum Heidi Klum

for a lingerie thing and people didn't like that either but there's something even stranger about OnlyFans because it's like a live, it's like a, it's like a channel

that you're watching them. Are they interacting with each other? Hardly. Well, there's a live, there's like, there's a,

because I did a podcast on this, my Boots podcast and like, I was talking to this girl who did a lot of work with like OnlyFans people and what happens is you join the platform,

you do your like, like remember when you were considering joining? Well, actually, all joking aside, I was. Do you remember OnlyFans, the platform you do your like like remember when you were considering joining well actually all joking aside I was remember um OnlyFans they I was offered a job they want to use it for comedy so they want to they don't they want to move away from it just being sex sex work and they wanted to um use it to kind of launch little snippets of people's comedy and but I said no

because I was like I just don't know if that's the right move for me see the thing that's happened with it is like you think that you start and you're like

in your bikini and like that's what you're doing but eventually that's not enough and they want more and you'll lose subscribers so you do more and then you send like videos and stuff

I'm like naked on only fans like jimmy we're here to promote comedy we never asked you to take your clothes and this five years for monday and this five years for tuesday it would happen to you it would yeah it's a funny one but like there's a lot of people a lot of women making a lot of money and they say it keeps women safe because they're not on the streets. A hundred percent if that's what you want to do. But even like Denise Richards' daughter,

she's literally just turned 18 and I just feel like you're going to put all that out there and do that and then like, are you going to still feel like that when you're 25 and looking to do something else? I can't imagine that Charlie Sheen's daughter has had an easy life. If you know what I mean.

She's also making $80,000 a month. So actually, not so bad. This podcast has heightened my, what would I say, pickness.

Oh, I agree. My mental struggles with information is what we're called. Sometimes because the last time we just talked shit it just goes into the ether

and it never comes back to you. Yeah. This is like a time capsule of shame and misinformation. Did you see Crocs released a cowboy beach one? Did we send you

the... I looked at it and I thought, that's for Joanne. That shoe is for Joanne. Oh my god. Hold on, let me Google. She'd wear them all year round. She'd wear them to the beach. They'd be so comfortable. Where are they? Oh, wow.

I know. I feel like I'm at a funeral. What's going on? Why is this so depressing? Oh, wow, I actually nearly bought you those boots. I thought they'd be right up your street. They're like an extension of the summer sandal. You know the kind of quirky nurse on the ward?

Who does a bit of line dancing at the weekend? There for her. They are, and I love an ugly shoe, but they are quite something. Can you believe that they would have made them?

What's wrong with Crocs? Are they trolling us? Is this real? Or is this AI generated? No, it's actually real. I have a cousin, right, and her husband only wears Crocs and shorts

All year round That's all you'll ever see him in His name is Greg That's fine But these are An attack on the eyes Like who No

They're not Greg Do you know what I Do you know what I will say I am so easily influenced I was walking down the street the other day And I saw this really cool girl like she was just a real cool trendy stylish girl and she was wearing

Uggs and I went okay that's me back on the Uggs. Hello Oh okay that's me cured I'm already on, I'm on the Uggs right. Joanne if you don't have yourself a pair of mini Uggs who even are you? I didn't know Uggs were back. No Uggs are back Uggs have been back two years Joanne

like it's not new but do you remember because one side would wear down on the Uggs and so you'd be walking like like a country

and western person that was the pretend Uggs it's just not what actual Uggs remember oh does it not no he used to get the pretend Uggs

when we were younger and like literally just your feet would be like... Concave. Yeah. You were like Mr. Soft from the ad.

You'd just be like... It was like you were wearing a costume, an animal costume, just like patting down. Throats. Couching along. Yeah, like you're... What are they called?

A mascot on your way to be a mascot for a football team. Speaking of premonitions. Yeah. Oh, I know. Yeah. We are absolutely full of shit,

but sometimes we do get it right. You called that one. I called it. Yeah. Jada Pinkett-Smith, Will Smith, the slap. He's overcompensating

There's something up Between them And there was It has been Proven As fact She is Doing the rounds

And I mean I think there is There's nothing I don't know About Jada Pinkett-Smith now She's Hectic She's also By the way

Got a book out So all this information Is coming out They've obviously They got married very young. She didn't sign a prenup. But she also said she didn't want to marry him when she married him, which is a real dick thing to say.

She said Tupac was her soulmate. I always find this funny with people's memoirs. You've told us everything in the interviews. It's kind of done now. What else? Do you know what I mean? What else is in the book really? People think they'll get a bit

more in the book but they don't end up getting a bit more. It's just like all the best bits come out in the interviews. She said that when they'd been separated for six or seven years, he invited seven years, he invited her to the Oscars as his friend because he was like look we've been through so much

I want you here at my side because he kind of knew he was going to win and so she said which I thought was a really interesting point she said how is it that women

we're told we've got no we don't have a lot of power in the world but then when something like that happens it's assumed that I just controlled

the whole narrative of it all and kind of forced him to slap him in the face so I was like it's actually a really good point but then she said when he got up and said keep him to slap him in the face so I was like it's actually a really good point but then she said when he got up and said keep my name

my name out of your mates she was like he hasn't called me his wife in seven years like I didn't know what was going on she goes I just didn't like the joke then it turns out

Chris Rock had asked her on a date yeah before yeah Jo did you not hear that bit like I just don't know

if I believe that and maybe it's because I'm not team Jada maybe it's because I'm not team Jada Maybe it's because I'm like I wouldn't touch her with your dick He hasn't But he hasn't You what

I wouldn't touch her with your dick Like I wouldn't want anything I think that she would be so Fucking hard to go out with I couldn't think of anyone I'd want to go out with less Yeah I don't have that much disdain for her I think she I understand I kind of her. I think she,

I understand, I kind of understand her. I think she's very bougie, very spiritual. She's big into healing, big into truth and honesty and like a bit, she's drank around Kool-Aid a little bit

and she wants us to be all involved. You can't say she's into truth and honesty because she's literally been hiding the fact that she hasn't been with Will for seven years yet.

Like living off this whole like family thing and putting out that they're this like really close-knit family who do all this stuff together. When actually they're not, that they're actually meant to be divorced. So she hasn't, I don't think she's truthful.

I'm telling you, I've read this whole interview with her and I've completely turned a corner with her on my Jada Pinkett Smith journey. She wanted to say to people they were separated and Will was like, I'm not ready. Don't say it.

But now, of course, she's going around saying T-Pac was the love of her life and Chris Rock is obsessed with her. And Will's a fucking nervous wreck. And she's kind of pulling everyone under the table with her. But that's kind of what memoirs are.

Anyway, there's more to the story. I feel there's actually even more to the story. There probably is more to the story, but we probably won't hear any more than what's in the book because she's very calculated like that. I just, do you know what?

I think it's because I think Will Smith is really nice and I don't like to see anyone. I feel like that's doing him dirty. He smacks someone in the face on the telly. I know, I know. Like, that's not great. But like, he obviously had all this Jealousy stuff Because of Chris Rock

And la la la I think that I think that the way She's going about it Isn't very nice Like saying things like Like the whole thing About her birthday and stuff

And then saying Tupac is her soul mate It's like God give the man a break I know And she's out She was like Oh by the way

Tupac had alopecia We're like Jada is there anything You're not going to tell us? I'll tell you what. You have a verruca as well. What else is going on? Has Will Smith got an ingrown toenail?

Who else are you ratting out here? I love Will Smith, and I would give him a blowjob on the first date. I wouldn't even have to have sex. I'd just do the blowy, and I'd be happy with that. Thank you. I feel like that's just how Vogue rounds things up. She's like, okay, moving on. I'd suck him off.

Anyway, what's next? What's next on the list? I'd only wank him. Let's go. I'd suck him off. Anyway, what's next? What's next on the list? I don't need wine, Kim. Let's go. I've got an appointment. Yeah, let's keep going. That's it for this week from Ghosted. That's it for this week

from... That's it for Ghosted this week. Fuck this. Why don't we just record a voiceover and just use it at the end of every one? Because we would do that for a few weeks and then you'd hate it. Thank you for listening.

That's Ghosted for this week. I've been Joanne McNally. She's been Vogue Williams and we will see you next Friday. Have a good weekend. Keep all of that in. Yeah, I will. all of time