My Therapist Ghosted Me - Mermaids, Fairies, Ghosts & Banshees

Episode Date: June 17, 2022

You might not find Tom Cruise attractive, just like Vogue, but that's not the whole picture.... This week we catch up with Joanne & "Peter" and have a quick (very quick) look at Scientology. If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

Welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me, with me, Joanne McNally, and herself, Vogue Williams. Hello! Well, I'm driving Peter slowly mad. Ah, well that's to be expected. Yeah. But you know when you're like, you think it's cute now. I think we're both...

I thought it was cute at the start. We're both quite full on, but people have to understand that that's what they're getting into. We're full on in very different ways. We're not easy customers. Joanne, I'd be able to go out with you defo i think you are an easy customer although i was laughing like peter is basically you right so me minus the fallopian tubes on acid but he's basically you

i was thinking this and when i saw his house yesterday how did I see his house his kitchen is so tidy I was like that's a bit of me and when you mentioned the way he packed but now this is why so you're Spencer and Peter's me Peter's you minus the vagina like a pez gun shooting at kids everything else is exactly the same so he everything is like everything is pristine everything faces a certain direction like

I love him his creams in the shower like everything and then there's me who's like absolutely I'm accidental

carnage I don't even know I'm shit like I'm like I just come in and everything's upside down and inside out and I don't even know

I've done it I'm whispering because he's upstairs fixing everything I've ruined. So I tried to make the bed. And of course, I came back in later and it had been remade. And I remember you saying to me, you make the bed like Spencer makes the bed. I, you don't make the bed. I remember I've been down in your house once and you were going mad because he wouldn't clean anything.

There he is now. Shh. Sketch. Sketch. What's he digging out a cane for himself digging around there are you looking for your cane penny oh he's got his cufflinks his cufflinks ask it ask it kiss joanne ask it ask it do you remember... I'm too scared because I've already been reprimanded, by the way. You were trying to clean

and he wouldn't clean and you were cleaning and he was like, it's an illness, darling. You've got an illness. Do you remember? It's an illness, darling. You've got an illness

because you wouldn't stop cleaning. And I was like, I think she's ill too, Spano. I'm with you on this. This is strange. Honestly, I... Me and Spencer just, Spano. I'm with you on this. This is the range. Honestly, I come in. And Spencer's just sitting around like sloths on the couch

and you're like cleaning up after us. It's an illness, darling. You've got an illness. I'm going to have to talk to Peter. He's going to have to know what's coming from because we've made it work. It's difficult at times. We are currently mid-argument about said things.

Oh, really? Is it about cleaning? It's just about not doing all the stuff that I do and that's what Peter has to look forward to. Yeah. Poor Peter, he's going to lose his mind slowly. I know, I feel so bad. I think he might have to get a cleaner seven days a week.

And Joanne, I don't want you to be offended by what I'm about to say oh god you're worse than Spencer yeah because you've trained him I've never seen anything so fascinating like you wouldn't ever think

of putting your toiletries in the bathroom they just have to be all over the room yeah I like the element I like the element of a surprise

where's the deodorant oh it's in a sock under the bed. Surprise. It's like a finding object game. Do you know what I mean? I'm actually so excited to hear about your upcoming arguments that are just going to continuously happen. See, he's very nice.

So I don't think he's just like, no worry. Do you know what I mean? I used to be nice. I also think, I mean I used to be nice I also think I like I mean from my perspective okay

I mean whose fucking condiments all face the same way like this you know I'm like Peter you're a psychopath I want to live with Peter

did you see the wine he poured last night very questionable why what was it I felt like we were just really getting you know we'd kind of really gotten to know each other and he poured me a glass of wine wasn't joe you'd want

to see a pathetic listen like oh i saw it was a yeah but you're tiny i was like peter i don't know if we're on the same page buddy do you know what the rule to that is supposedly because i was brought up my parents drink wine we used to actually literally we would pour their wine so the reason like wine people like people who drink normally not like you and I like you can say it me you do drink normally you can say it Joanne I don't know I was rolling his eyes I don't anymore I don't know what's happened to me it's it's anyway I'm gone drinking again tonight again tonight you know what that you you turned into do you remember the Kit Kat ad and the photographer would wait outside the cave for the panda to come out to take a photo and then the second he turned us back to the kit kat the panda will come out remember

that ad yeah yeah that's you to me that's you to me i leave london and you're like woo you're going to techno raves you're drinking mimosas i'm having the time stuck in and then i come back and you're just sitting there breastfeeding like nothing happened and then i come back and you're just sitting there breastfeeding like nothing happened wait till you come back and i've made uh we're gonna have the most the most fun but uh back to the wine thing right so that's why he's pouring it he's very i think peter's posh posh and tidy and he pours a little glass of wine because so it stays chilled because he would think that you're gonna spend ages drinking that little bit little does he know that's only a mouthful yeah because i'm just looking at the rest of the glass being like i don't understand the waste it's like

do you know what i mean it's like leaving the tap on when you're brushing your teeth it's a waste there's a lot of space there that needs to be filled pedro okay put your butler pants on fill the glass um what age is peter by the way he seems very mature he's very he's like an adult he's like you he's an adult i forget like i'm staring down the barrel of middle-aged i'm god where do i joe what are you 31 get lost oh he's not that young he's not that he hasn't been seen and you're married you idiot Joanne I was married at 31

oh no I was divorced by then Jo move along yeah but look it's Penny and I we're still together we're fighting today

because he is just not pulling his weight. But this is the thing that happens. So monthly, we like to have a big blowout because he has been doing fuck all. So that's just what's going to be your relationship. And I hope you look forward to it. But do you not kind of pull, like you pull weight that doesn't need to be pulled. I heard you once under your breath being like, must always be accomplishing.

I heard you say that once under your breath as you were vacuum packing the children or something you must always be accomplishing she's terrifying look at her she's a monster that's what Penny said I had I was I vacuum packed his winter clothes the other day because there was no room in his wardrobe and he was like why have you done that I have one wardrobe and you're taking it away from me I was like I'm only trying to help I I vacuum packed your winter clothes. Now they're out of the way. And he's like, yeah, but what about when I need them? I'm like, then we take them down.

And that's what, that's how the cycle works. Or get rid of some of your clothes. Cause I need this space. You're very seasonal. It's like when you go into shops and it's, they've decided that the spring summer collection is out, but it's still, it's Ireland. It's still absolutely freezing.

But all you can buy is a tank top and a boob tube. You're like, well it's summer now! Okay, that's you. Your winter wardrobe's gone, Spencer. He's like, it's minus 12 degrees. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I'd actually got ahead of myself. It wasn't this summer, it was last summer and it was like

we'd had an unusual March and I put all my jackets away and I was fucking freezing for the whole of April. We'd had an unusual march and i put all my jackets away and i was fucking freezing for the whole of april because i was like an unusual march i'm not getting the back eight had we had an unusual march fag with an unusual it was a different to usual yes it was an unusual march what would what would a usual march be a usual march would have been a little bit of snow, a touch of snow, very cold weather. Scorchio. So yeah, I put the coats away and I had to freeze for the whole of April because I literally was like, it's so annoying having to do that job.

Let's be honest, I don't do it all the time. When I vacuum pack my clothes. Peter was very clear. We've deleted the dating apps. Both of us just put Raya in a folder because it's very hard to get on no so no one's deleting Raya

we just put it in a folder I think that's clever yeah we were like okay let's not lose our minds here pushing out a kid walking down the aisle Raya might get deleted then

until that point we're both keeping on Raya we're staying on Raya no way I don't even if I had a bin on Raya I'd Rhea might get deleted then. Until that point, we're both keeping on Rhea. We're staying on her. No way. I don't even, if I had been on Rhea, I'd still have it in a folder just in case.

It's like, it's like Soho House. I never go. I never go. And I'm a member and I'm too scared not to be a member because I'm like,

they won't let me back in. I have to stay a member. Yeah, exactly. A hundred percent. Rhea is the exact same as a member's club. It basically is. It is.

But like, there's not that many great people on there. I've had a swipe of others. I get a lot of women asking me to recommend them to Ray because you need to get recommended for it. It's honestly like, it's a hoopla. It's nothing. There's nothing on it.

I heard Tinder's making a comeback. Is it? Yeah, that's what Amber told me. Tinder's making a comeback. Well, it didn't really go anywhere, but it just, it had to compete with things like Hinge and stuff but the thing about Tinder was

wasn't it just the riding app Tinder was the kind of hook up one Hinge was the kind of relationshipy one I don't think I'd like to be asking people

out on dates I want to be asked out on a date I still don't even ask Benny out on dates I'm like you haven't asked me on a date in ages

and he's like you can ask me to go for dinner I'm like no that's not how it works that is not how it works do you still date him? Yeah, we go on dates.

We went on a date on Sunday, but like this argument that we're having, it's not even that bad. It's about stupid stuff at home, but it was kind of, it was bubbling on Sunday. So our date was a bit shitty. There's nothing worse when you've got, when there's like a kind of a tension between you and you're, and you're, you're in a restaurant and you're like, are we just going to kind of push through it?

Yeah. Or are we going to just leave? Yeah. Are we going to just leave? Are we going to just sit here in silence staring at each other, wishing to stab each other with a fork? No, I had made, I sat in silence making plans with other people for the rest of the day. Spenny told me that tie-dye used to be made from piss. Don't mind Spencer told me tie-dye used to be made of piss.

Like, of course he's going to think that. He just went out in a three-piece suit. It's 9am. it's 9am I wanted to talk about this week oh there was a few things oh I was back in Leeds by the way and I met this woman

who's a mermaid that's her job she's a mermaid and she had this big mermaid tail I saw someone flapping around on your Instagram stories

I meant to ask you what the hell was that about she's a mermaid. And she had this tail that was like 15 kilos. And she was a free diver who can hold her breath for like eight minutes. And then I thought,

I watched her and she looked like a mermaid. When you say she's a mermaid, I mean, is she identifying as a mermaid or is she just like swimming with the tail? I mean, how seriously is she taking the role? I think she thinks she's a mermaid or is she just yeah she likes swimming with the tail is it like i mean how seriously is she taking the role i think she thinks she's a mermaid she had this massive long tail and like how she got into it she looked bloody great as well and she went swimming in leeds dock which looked like i when i saw her get in i was like she has to go you know when you get in because it's so cold she didn't do any that. So that proved to me she was an actual mermaid.

Free diver. So she dives like way down and doesn't need one of those oxygen tanks. And can hold her breath for eight minutes. Is there much work for mermaids? Like what does she, how does her day, what does her day look like? Well, she's going to the, to the. She's got a LinkedIn account. I need to know more.

I'm pretty sure she does i'm sure she does kids parties and stuff you want to see her honestly if you put her if there's an events company if you put her in a like in a little pool a c3 pool at an event it'd be so cool yeah i get i get what you mean it's like when you see the burlesque girls sitting in the big champagne glasses is it kind of the same vibe yeah yes that'll be that'll be nice for otto's christening maybe something to think about oh something like that yeah just something a little bit different she could go into the cash into the loch in uh in Scotland um come here to me there was another lady

who said she spoke to fairies yeah yeah Vogue you need to speak to your manager because you're mixing in very strange circles at the moment i found them quite interesting though it's like if you want to believe that but then it got me on to thinking right i was watching the sixth sense by the way have you seen that film of course i have brilliant joe have you yeah how good is that film it's so good um but i believe in ghosts and what's to say that's not as weird as believing in fairies? Do you believe in ghosts, Joanne? Absolutely not.

No. There's a book called Paranormality that I read. I can't remember who it by. Hold on, Jo. I'll actually Google it. And this guy. Jo, do you believe in ghosts? No, mate.

What? I just can't believe that you wouldn't believe it. So no one you know has seen a ghost? Richard Wiseman. That's the paranormal dude, right? just can't believe that you wouldn't believe it so no one you know has seen a ghost richard wiseman that's the that's the paranormal dude right so he basically put up a million quid for anyone who could prove that they have powers you know or that they you know psychics mediums and no one's ever been able to it's a lot of it's a lot of shit like i you know listen it'd be nice that there was some big plan for us all but there's absolutely not it's like i said before if you can see ghosts you're not going to be operating out of a wigwam in a shopping center

you're going to be you know pride of place i'm not just saying anyone who can see ghosts like like mediums and stuff like that i'm talking about just general people that can see ghosts like one of my friends was staying in my house once in hope and she saw a ghost a little boy sitting by the window and then a separate friend who was also staying saw the same boy walking towards my bed. It's probably just Theodore without his tan on. No, Theodore wasn't even born then. I was like 16. So what?

It was like there's a child. The thing about it is, I have too many questions with the whole ghost thing. I love it. So if anyone has any ghost stories, please send them in. We don't even have to read them on the pod. Just for my own personal viewing, I got a ghost story book and everything. It was actually shit, to be honest.

Russell Cain told me to get it. It was the worst book I've ever read. But anyway. I did believe in banshees. I remember my uncle Frankie was telling me there was a banshee in Kildare at their house and I was genuine. Do you remember? Do you know what a banshee in Kildare at their house and I was genuine.

Do you remember? Do you know what a banshee is Jo? I know that they scream. Yes. Yes. It's basically an Irish ghost. Go look up. It's like a brown ghost.

Yeah. Go look up banshee bones. That's what they look like. That's the crisp that we've had made after them. I forgot about banshee bones. I think they tried to relaunch themselves there recently. What do you mean tried to relaunch themselves? You can barely get your hands on a bag.

Everyone wants them. They sent me a box. Yeah, they sent me a box. Amber waltzed up from downstairs at like four o'clock, really hung over, eating this giant bag of Banshee Bones. They're stunning. 10p crisps are now a pound. That's inflation for you, Jo.

The cost of living.'s it's not sustainable joanne do you remember that story of that uh of the the men who were playing poker up in the wicklow mountains and then this other man the stranger came in to play poker with them and then one of the guys dropped his card and he looked under the table and your man had like uh he didn't have legs he had horse horsey legs. What was that again? Do you remember that? I'd love to have horse legs. No, that's obviously one of those kind of urban myth tales.

Do you know that story? I don't remember a lot playing cards with horse legs. I don't remember that. I remember the banshee. That was my big, that was my scary story. And I do remember always, I was scared banshee that was my big that was my scary story and I do remember always I was scared of ghosts in the dark

and all that I was scared of like having my leg hanging out over the bed someone would grab it and pull me in and I was more scared of that kind of stuff

but then would like 16 years of age get drunk into the back of a taxi with a man I didn't know like none of real things never scared me just this spirit world

but I don't believe in it anymore and I certainly do not believe in fairies I can tell you i don't know listen listen don't i don't believe in fairies i never said i believed in fairies i believe in ghosts though depo but i was always worried like when my dad died i was like uh i don't want i don't want him to come and visit me like that would freak me out i know I know so that's the only reason I haven't seen him did you ever dream about your dad uh no I don't think so

oh my god oh stop I was doing the staff show yesterday right and they were doing father's day gifts and for a split second I went and then I was like oh wait I don't have to get one and then I was like oh wait I don't have to get one for a split second I literally was like oh fuck and then I was like oh it's fine

that's glorious and sad but then I do have Neil oh my god Neil I have to get him imagine you're like oh thank god I don't have to get involved in that rig morel

I can take the day off Joanne we can go do whatever we want on Sunday we can be selfish we don't have to get involved in that rig, Mireille. I can take the day off. Joanne, we can go do whatever we want on Sunday. We can be selfish. We don't have to get anyone a gift. I see all these things. They're like, oh, do you wish to opt out of being reminded it's Father's Day? It's like, we had this chat last year.

How long are we doing this pod now? This is our second Father's Day. Is it only two years? That's all. Well, no. That's only a year. We've only been doing the pod a year yeah oh my god joe how are you still here how are you still involved it's a lot of show yeah joe we tried to fire you several times i don't know how you're still

involved with this podcast we put in several requests for you to be moved to a different show should you not be working on joel domic show now? Joe is an absolute, Joanne, he is a pod whore. He's got about six other pods going on. That's why sometimes when we're like messing around with the schedule,

he just won't get involved with our messing. I'm actually going to do a weird segue here because do you remember all week I've been telling you who I'm now obsessed with? I now got this weird obsession

with Tom Cruise. I don't know why. I went to see Top Gun and we never spoke about it. Have you seen it yet? I know. Joanne, I haven't even seen the first Top Gun. I know. I know. You're a disgrace. I know it's about planes or something like that. I know.

Come on. It's about planes. He's good looking. Fighter pilots in the war. Do you know the tom cruise single-handedly saved raybons from going out of business they were completely going out of business yeah yes and then they did a bit of paid placement in what's the was it risky business yes have you been reading tom cruise facts as well do you know listen to this right it's it's amazing a disney modeled a certain character after Tom Cruise. Guess who it was?

Well, you see, I know now because we've obviously read the same thing. Do you want me to pretend I don't know? Yeah, pretend you don't know. Guess, guess who it is. Who is it? Aladdin. Is that not culturally kind of inappropriate now?

Come here to me though, because I brought him up because he can hold his breath for six minutes. He did a sequence from Mission Impossible and he does all his own stunts which I'm sorry it is impressive and he held his breath for six minutes because I was so focused on the Scientology madness of him I couldn't see past that but actually he is so cool he spends hours with his fans at every single event because he's like well they've made the effort to come and see me so I want to see them how nice

I know that is really sound I do but I I think he's I was reading something about him recently like he's the last kind of movie star

of our generation because he's you know does all his own stunts he's like you know he's big screen he hasn't kind of gone into telly

like a lot of actors like movie actors have he stayed kind of true to his own little art form doesn't he think he can like heal broken ankles and stuff

yeah he thinks he can heal I mean you know I know you'd forgive him for that for everything else 100% I'd say he's sound and he's

he's kind of sassy in interviews and stuff if people had crossed a line he'd be like you crossed a line with me there you need to apologise all that kind of stuff I love that and supposedly he people had crossed a line he'd be like you crossed a line with me there you need to apologize all that kind of i love that and supposedly he never admits to being wrong so him and i are very similar in that sense but probably because he is never wrong i wouldn't say his wardrobe his winter wardrobe stays out past its date say it's very well looked

after very well maintained i'd say his boxers are folded i'd say his socks aren't even like rubbed together what is it called folded in together I'd say his socks aren't even like rubbed together. What is it called? Folded in together. I'd say they're just like neatly folded. Would you fancy him? No, no, no. No, I don't think. Well, obviously I'd have sex with him,

but I don't fancy him. Of course. It's Tom Cruise. You wouldn't be able to get eye contact with him anyways. You wouldn't notice. Just wriggle around on top of him for a little bit

and then be like, that's done now. He'd only come up to my hips. I'd say you'd have to sign an NDA. That's the level of fame I want, that I'm in a bar with security and the security guy goes over to a man and is like, Joanne McNally would like to meet you,

but you're going to have to sign this NDA first. Supposedly NDAs don't account for anything. It doesn't matter. You can just go and say what you want anyway. That's what I heard. They'd be like, who's Joanne McNally? One more thing about Tom Cruise. He divorced all of his wives when they were 33.

Now he's only, oh, he's had three ex-wives and got rid of them all at 33, which means, Joanne, we won't be in with a chance. We're too old. Jo, you got two years out of him yeah hop on board joe he was have a go with tom cruise joe would you ever would you go gay for the stay if you went over to if you went to america if you're going to experiment it may as well be with cruise eh of course i love when people say do you know when politicians

do you know when people lick the tip do you know when people say politicians get stung and they're like oh yes I experimented with drugs in my past you didn't experiment

you took them stop pretending you were burning them in a Bunsen burger at different heats to see how they melt like you fucking took them you licked them

you swallowed them you shafted them you took them you shafted them oh my god you took the drugs you experimented with drugs like you're like putting them up and putting them oh my god you took the drugs like experimented with drugs

like you're like putting them up and putting them in a petri dish do you know what I mean I love the way we did our research is so low level we both just googled

Tom Cruise facts read one document we're like that's the work for the bottom I'm surprised you're not a scientologist yourself with all your talk about mermaids and fairies and all i'm surprised you don't believe in it joanne if anyone was going to be a scientologist out of the two of us look at her sitting there in her in her tie-dye top it would have been you you're the hippie

scientologists are not hippies scientologists are very it's basically a pyramid scheme it's basically spiritual tupperware you have to pay to access different areas and different levels and tom's at the very top because he's got all the money so we'd be in we'd be in scientology together you'd be at the top they take your way to your nirvana your epiphany and i'd still be down the bottom serving drinks at mass but he's there he's there as well what's his name is in there

John Travolta's there as well they're all at it if you had that much money and that much fame you'd kind of have to believe in something a bit wacky wouldn't you because like

all your needs are being met so intensely that you'd need something to kind of aspire to you'd lose your mind remember remember Madonna was mad for Kabbalah everyone wants a spiritual awakening I kind of aspire to, you'd lose your mind. Remember Madonna was mad for Kabbalah?

Everyone wants a spiritual awakening. I kind of wanted the red bracelet, I'm not going to lie. I wanted to be cool with the red bracelet. You see, that's where the Catholic Church went wrong. No bracelets. The jewellery shit, that's so true. Those dog collars. I wouldn't put it on an

Alsatian, let alone a man. Desperate, desperate, going around with that little tin thing that they spray all the smelly stuff that stuff oh the big the big cat bell

I love that stuff oh god have you ever seen that the big cat bell on a chain Joe that the priests whack around at mass

to basically haze you not lying yeah yeah yeah firstly I don't know what's going on with her at the moment but she needs her own episode.

But did you see Britney's wedding and her ex gay crashed it and all? I know. That was like, I think, do you know what? She was annoyed by it.

I'd be kind of like, oh, that's kind of nice. I know, you're like, hold on a second. We were raised on movies where that's a really good thing. Kind of cute. He did look out of his mind to be

fair um allegedly his eyeballs were kind of like falling out of the sockets they were kind of like spinning around in different directions at all but like like i just thought the amount the fact that he got that far i mean how do you know it's not romantic why is it sometimes romantic and sometimes it's illegal how do you what's the difference I want to know I love that Britney got married first of all but like it was kind of a weird group of people there just a load of random

people like Madonna being there I didn't know they were friends well they scored didn't they that's her ex yeah that's her ex as well do you know one thing about her ex. Yeah, that's her ex as well. She's one of all the exes. Do you know one thing about her husband though? I read that his ex

said that he was one of the nicest people ever. And like, that's very unusual. He's gay. Women don't, no one speaks about their exes like that. He's gay. He's a beard. Brittany might know,

but he's gay. I would be nicer than one of my exes. Spencer's not your ex yet, so stop fantasizing. Poor Spenny. He still likes the nose. Spenny's like, stop slagging me off

on your pod. I'm like, I'm not slagging you off. I was like, I'm not slagging you off. Dropping truth bombs, Spenna. It's not slagging you off.

It's just the truth. There's no point holding on to weird animosity unless they completely screwed you over, even still. I'm in my tie-d tie dye now I rise above it all I just ride above it

I just don't care I put on a tie dye t-shirt once had a nirvana I'm having nirvanas it's too much effort and I am a person who holds a grudge I am good

at holding grudges but even I can't be arsed isn't it so weird though that you can be you could go out with someone and it'd be so intimate and you'd be so in love and like you're like jiggling around inside each other's body parts for years god that's so no that's not a sexy description jiggling around

i won't write a sex scene in my new book then. You won't let me say certain things on the pod. Jiggling around. Did you see what happened to Shakira? Shakira. So she's married to this absolute ride. And I don't know how I know this, but supposedly he has a massive dick. And he's a ride. I mean, he's everything you could want in a man.

Have you not heard that about him, Jo? No. Don't worry, Jo. Don't size.e don't size it doesn't it's not important lick the tip lick the tip you could i'm sure you're i'm sure you're jiggling away fine well i tell you what with that tv show i did right i learned a lot about dicks um and how you can make them bigger and there are like people wear this little jacket over their willy

that like it's almost like a like a what's it called like a sling kind of thing and you put it in and it pulls it down and it gives you extra stretch

but as well supposedly a willy pump actually makes your your dick bigger yeah sorry pop me through the jacket

there's like this weird it's like a slit no it's like a stretcher it looks like a stretcher oh come on i swear and it pulls it down it's for it's for men who have had a penis enlargement which is basically they literally just cut this little ligament at the top of their dick and it extends it like two centimeters but then it means you can't get a boner because the ligament that lifts your dick up is gone so you get a hanging down boner so when you have sex you have to like maneuver it back up um but when you're like get the ladder get the ladder let's have sex get the ladder where's the stretch yourself up the top of it there but anyway there are a lot of things that you can do to get a bigger dick so joe don't don't worry

for father's day a dick jacket for your father the perfect gift are you on your second can of fizzy drink in the space of five minutes yeah i had a big day yesterday a couple of days where have you been well i was in cork doing the oh my god that looked amazing it was great crack really really good and um then obviously you know i like to reward myself after a big show i like to reward myself after every show i like to reward myself every day really so there was a lot of champagne and then obviously hanging out with peter yesterday and blah blah so hence the fizzy how many how many I'm gonna have

like it's 9.52 I usually have a fizzy by 10 every single day regardless of what I was drinking the day before it's a San Pellegrino which is basically like the Moet of fizzy drinks

isn't it now I like a dash do you know those ones that I always have in my house like you can get raspberry flavour and stuff yum stop plugging your shit

I'm not actually plugging it I'm not paid I'm not paid to do that ghosted 20 ghosted 20 oh sorry

while we're while we're plugging our businesses I have another Killarney date that went on sale in the INEC arena

the second December date on sale I have to steal tickets for the Cork shows how many people were in Cork the other night

it's 4200 so it's the biggest prosacco I've done yeah biggest prosacco yet sorry I know we're jumping around a lot

but you know what I find fascinating about the Top Gun thing yeah so his co-host not co-host sorry co-star Miles not co-host, sorry,

co-star. Miles Teller, is he in it? Jennifer something. Jennifer Conlon? Jennifer Connolly? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joe, can you get that

out of Google there? Which one is it? Jennifer Connolly, I don't mean to be mean, but she always looks like she's got a bad moustache. She's just one of those people. Do you know those people

who look like they have a moustache but they don't have a mustache she's an absolute babe I know I'd look like her with if I'd take a tash I'd take a tash I'd take a hit of the tash

she was on the front of Style Magazine for the Sunday Times the other day it was such a weird photo they were like Jennifer released her wild side and her face

it was like she'd been sedated and she was just holding this tiger that they clearly got out of TK Maxx you know one of those kind of gold you they clearly got out of TK Maxx. You know one of those kind of gold, you know, the weird ornaments of TK Maxx.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we need to do a trip there. Oh, this is another thing. I said to Peter, because obviously I'm going to try and buy a house and I was like, I'm going to get all the interiors

from TK Maxx and he looked at me like I'd said, like I'd said, I was going to cover the house in silage and paper it with the inside of a wheelie bin. Literally, he was like, babe, you can't. He looks really hurt. He hasn't been in there lately.

Like there's one called Home Sense, which is the home version. Jo, have you been there? Yes, that's what I was saying. Yeah. I love Home Sense. They have amazing bits. Jo, have you been there? Yes, that's what I was saying. Yeah. HomeSense is, I love HomeSense. They have amazing bits. I, sure, you know,

those two cheetahs I have downstairs, you probably don't like them. I love them. They're from HomeSense. Sorry, that's literally what I was saying that Jennifer Connelly was holding on front page

of the Style magazine. A cheetah. A cheetah. Yeah. See, they're in fashion. I love those cheetahs. They used to be upstairs and Spencer was literally like, please, please, can we love those cheetahs. They used to be upstairs and Spencer was literally like,

please, please, can we put the cheetahs downstairs? I was like, fine. Fine. That's one thing you can have, but I'm not happy about it. I love those cheetahs. Homesense, if you're listening,

me and Vogue will be well up for a collab, ghosted 20, hashtag. I can't wait till you buy a house can I come and look at your houses with you

yes well sadly because people are like where were you looking at buying I was like well it kind of depends

Vogue he's trying to move Vogue the kids sorry welcome welcome to my I fucked up

welcome to my therapy I wanted to talk about Joanne you actually put something in the pod doc it was called the love pill. Do you remember that? Oh, yes! So that has been going around for absolute years.

It's this article, and it's suggesting that couples who are falling out of love need to go and do MDMA in a medically controlled environment, and supposedly it makes them fall back in love. But I did a TV show years ago, like maybe eight years ago, and there's these people in London and they're in a medical facility and they use like magic mushrooms

and they use MDMA and they do all that stuff and do this therapy and help people who've been through really bad traumas. And that's how they help them like relive it and remember it and go through it and like deal with it. Yeah, but like, do you know what, Vogue?

Do you know what we should totally do? Drugs. It'd be great crap. What's a drug? What's it called again? I'm like, Peter, take this salpidine. We're going to be in love. If things aren't going well with Peter,

I just drop a Mitsubishi in his pint. Yeah, exactly. He'll fall right back in love. No anal needed. Crushing up the cat. Yeah. If I had to choose between catamen or anal, I know which I'm going to go for.

Why don't you snort this first? And then if you still want to do anal okay we'll talk about it yeah yeah yeah this will make you love me more but it's true because it releases it kind of gets rid of all your inhibitions doesn't it but um that's why everyone's you beat but imagine just doing pills with your partner to make yourself closer and you end up just doing back breakers in the sitting room all night just doing back breakers in the sitting room all night to like freaking techno music back breakers just throwing each other around in each other's back come here

come here do you remember that song what was it something about those little pills and rails and thrills we used to listen to it all the time yeah yeah I don't know romance when I'm thinking of a romantic night I'm not thinking of doing pills and listen to one of you listen to Avicii but anyway yeah we went on a date what did you do well we sat at home we popped some Mitsubishis are they still called Mitsubishis

no someone actually because I was joking talking about Mitsubishis the other day and someone messaged me saying they're now called I can't remember what it was but it was something fun like drones or like something kind of modern actually that's a good

right into the pod what drugs do you take what are they called come on yeah how much do they cost these days Glastonbury's coming up

if anyone wants to do a collab the problem with Glastonbury's I'd go I'd force myself to get a nice place to sleep

and then I'd do one day of drinking and I'd wake up the next day and i'd go i'd force myself to get a nice place to sleep and then i'd do one day of drinking and i'd wake up the next day and i'd go home yeah of course i wouldn't be able i would not be able to do more than one day i'd start getting the absolute fear and i'd run home crying you'd ride ride home on the back of a flamingo like that's it for me now i'm a one-hit wonder that's why uh that's, oh God, yeah, but. I'd only go if I was like being,

if I was kind of dropped in from a helicopter. Yeah, took us in a helicopter, put us in one of those nice vans that you can sleep in with a shower and a toilet

and, and then I'd go for a day. Yeah, and I'd just be, unless I was kind of kind of hanging around with Kate Moss and stuff, I just don't think I,

I don't know if I'd be, maybe I would, maybe I'd get there and really like it. Do you know what's, a festival terrifies me but was kind of hanging around with Kate Moss and stuff I just don't think I don't know if I'd be maybe I would maybe I'd get there and really like it do you know what's a festival terrifies me but also kind of fascinates me Burning Man

oh yeah again again I would I'd want to leave where they're all dressed kind of like slutty Mad Max vibes and like with gimp masks

and like knee high leather techno boots like techno goth look and they're all set bartering sheep and everything. It just seems complete madness to me. No music or anything. There is music at Burning Man. There isn't.

There's no artists, yeah, but they kind of make their own thing. But I just feel like Burning Man would not do much for my self-confidence. Have you seen the girls at Burning Man? And the same goes for Coachella. No thanks. Is Coachella not kind of like the Oxygen? Remember Oxygen? Yes. oxygen oxygen was an irish festival joke um i used to work for them you know that when i started in pure i was interning oh how

the tides have turned i was at auction one year and amber was so hammered and i found her and i had to bring her back to the car and this was for for some reason we were able to get VIP car parking. So our car was just left somewhere. And I brought her back to the car and I was like, wait there. I need to go. And like I literally was gone for about a half an hour. I came back. She had all the doors open.

The boot was wide open. This music turned up the max. I was literally just dancing around the car and around like I miss oxygen. We had the best times I never finished the Jennifer Conlon thing Jennifer Connelly she's 51 yeah she looks fab but they were said they were kind of making this big deal about the fact that like she was kind of an age-appropriate love interest for Tom Cruise because he's in his 60s and I was like yeah that is kind of cool I mean they could have thrown in some like that's why I like Tom I think he's got

honor you know I think he's got dignity he does he's an I think that he seems like a knight well I know but then he's a bit like I don't know listen if I broke my ankle I'd be heading straight to Tom for the healing hands and I'd actually want to hang out with him because I'd say he does loads of fun stuff. Apparently he did the Late Late before. That's our kind of chat show. And he was really sound. He like said, shook all the crew's hands and took, you know, learned some names. I'd say he smells lovely as well.

He looks so clean. So clean. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're into Tom. I'd say he's circumcised. Is he circumcised, Joe? Google it there. Oh into I say he's circumcised is he circumcised Joe google it there oh he'd definitely

be circumcised stized at a date are you circumcised Joe is that a question are you allowed to ask men that so you still have your jumper no we're allowed to ask

he still has the jumper a jumper now a jacket later in life Joe enjoy the jumper now prepare for the jacket and that is oh fuck me thank you for listening

to the latest episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me it was fantastic and we had a ball was it indeed it was fantastic writing your own reviews now oh for fuck's sake

fine thank you for listening to My Therapist Ghosted Me I hope it was fantastic for you because it felt fantastic for me. Okay I'll just do an 8 that we can actually use. That's it for the

You spooked your legs. That's it for this week's episode of my therapist ghosted me. We shall see you next week. Good night. Good night. Eochwa.