My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "And that's when I remembered..."

Episode Date: December 27, 2023

It's exactly at this point, between Christmas and New Year, when you've no idea what day it is, that you need a bit of bonus MTGM. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com/For more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player Original Podcast. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams. And Joanne McNally. Hello. Joanne, would you consider yourself to be neurotic? No, I don't think so. No, I don't think so. Just define neurotic what's the definition okay so here are some neurotic things that this this supposedly this is about women um but I actually think it's more to do with um anxiety I think that you can like have these weird

thoughts when you're really anxious like thoughts scared scared of like, I remember I was scared that like I'd let the buggy go or something like that when I was really anxious. And it was just, what are they called? Intrusive thoughts. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So this is what they sound like. 60% of women are scared they'll kill their kid. But you're always scared you'll drop a baby, like a newborn baby.

It's like, what happens if you drop the baby? Like everyone's scared of that. Yeah, I'd imagine there's a... Yeah, you're like, what are the other 40% doing? They're a bit too chilled. Yeah, you should be concerned. Yes, you should always be constantly concerned about the safety of your child. Too relaxed.

55% have been scared of accidentally throwing their phone over a bridge. I mean, that's quite... Yeah, that I i can understand i'd need to be near a bridge i'm not that neurotic but if i was near a bridge and kind of looking over a bridge i could definitely see how i would be concerned i would throw my phone over a bridge another thing 70 percent of people have believed that a friend will never talk to them again because they thought they were annoyed with them. That's definitely happened. Oh, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Yeah. Every time I have a fight with a friend, I'm like, every time I have a fight with a friend, I'm like, that's it then, I guess.

We're just, see you in the afterlife. You're like, how do we come back from this? I even do. Do you know what? I think a really good thing for me and Vogue is we're kind of forced to come back quite quickly because obviously we have the podcast together. But friends that you don't see that often and you're not forced to fix it. Yeah. They can kind of roll on for a bit. You're like, God, what happens now? I usually, I do say I'm a good one for the olive branch.

I would say like with Amber even and she's my sister like we had a fight there a while ago and I was like that's it I'm not talking to her ever again.

I'm never going to talk to her again unless she apologizes and then she she texted me the next day she was like are you ready to apologize? I said no.

Are you ready to apologize? I called out like a motherfucker. Can't help it. And are you ready to apologize? You're only kind of stoking the bear again.

Yeah, I think she was trying to make it, yeah. Yeah, maybe. I'll burn you on the stage, Amber. She's too proud to apologize but she's kind of, that's her version of an olive branch.

She's going to hear me and now we're going to cause the argument. She's going to come back again. She hears me and you'll be in trouble too. argument it's going to come back again she hears me and you'll be in trouble too now Joanne you'll have to apologise

45% of people have thought they're going to be fired after having an interaction with their boss ah yeah I kind of never like

I never really felt that really like when I had a boss like that fear of somebody who was in charge of me, you know, I never did anything really wrong. I was, I always felt like that, like I worked hard enough. And

then like, there was one place in Ireland, I used to work in a restaurant and begrudgingly, I still go there for food because it is delicious. And the boss was really mean. And she came into the one of the restaurants that I was working in and fired me and I only saw her there about six months ago when we were doing the Gaelic shows I'd gone in for food and I was like there's that bitch who fired me for no reason because she thought I was talking to talking to this um customers too much when I was going over to take their order I think that's nice and it's welcomed in restaurants in Houth. Was she slut shaming you? I think she was

calling me a whore. As part of our live show we had added in a little performance a little sing song. We used to sing Staying with the Day

by East 17 and we were wearing large white parkers and snow fell. And we thought it'd be this kind of festive moment, but also completely ludicrous, obviously. Yeah, it's meant to be. But someone sent me this video and they were like,

ah, reminds me of you in Vogue at the Lives. And it's 19-year-old Ant and Dec perform their Christmas song, Eternal Love on This Morning. And the caption is, this was a difficult watch I knew they hated

that he's 17 thing but I got fucking used do you want you really wanted to do the fusion tension yeah I know it was my it

was kind of it was my idea until I got up and running and I was like this is folks idea well now in fairness to us right we thought we were much more vocally blessed.

Let's be honest. We were quite, we were deep. If I've ever, it's a really big learning for me. I can't believe how bad I am at singing. And I certainly can't believe how bad you are. You're worse. It was like,

have we discussed this, Jo? Did we discuss this? Yeah, we've touched on it a little bit. Touched on it a little bit. Well, anyway, I think this person was trying to tell us that the E17 segment

was hard to watch so we we hear your feedback and we take it on board we will not be repeating it but you'll get it again next year I mean our singing

was just like outrageously bad I couldn't quite believe it it was like we'd had our chords removed it was like a mice was pulling the strings it was weird Jo how did you feel when you first listened to it?

I was very proud and I thought I tried really hard did you see the waxwing birds they tend to eat fermented fruit and then lie drunk on the sidewalks. Yeah. They're so funny.

I just thought that was kind of amazing. These birds pissed on berries and then wise passers-by collect them and put them in a safe place until they sober up, which is, shouldn't they do that to humans as well? It's actually so kind of them. I saw it. There's hundreds of birds

just like lying on the ground, very drunk. Yeah, and if that was a human, they'd just walk over them. I've been walked over and said I should be lifted and put in a safe space. Did you ever hear about the cats and the opium smoke? No. Do you remember

Cocaine Bear was huge? Remember the bear who ate all the cocaine? Where did he find the cocaine? It fell out of a plane or something, didn't it, Jo? And it fell into the woods and this bear got stuck in for the day and then went completely insane, tried to attack everyone and eventually was killed. There's a film about him now. He was huge.

He had a real moment. Anyway, the moral of the story is animals like to have a good time as well. But there was somewhere in China where there was loads of Chinese people smoking opium and the smoke, like these cats were getting high on it and stuff and then

they were like skagging out. Yeah. They were all like coming down off opium. Yeah. I saw a drunk dog. Someone posted it

that basically like there had been like booze left out and this dog had drank all the booze. I don't know how like it spilled it on the floor and drank like a full bottle of wine

and the dog was just like kind of like just toppling over the whole time yeah I've heard stories about dogs eating mushroom chocolate and stuff oh god

they deserve a social life as well can't just be us particularly those working dogs they definitely deserve a drink after the end of their day don't they like a guide dog would you deny a guide dog a drink at the end of their day. Don't they? Like a guide dog.

Would you deny a guide dog a drink at the end of the day? And maybe a little hallucinogenic. Like after the day's work, they put in guiding someone around. 100%. I think Winnie would really do well with a bit of hallucinogenic for him in his old age. He'd love it. Well, he needs a bit of catamon treatment, doesn't he? He's microdosing. He's microdosing. Is he't he he's he's microdosing

yeah and he's having a great time a bowl that dog could not get more chilled if he tried like sometimes i resuscitate him and he's just like just chilling the other night right i was i was sitting reading my book and when he just stood up out of his bed and he kind of walked really slowly stopped looked at me and then kept walking and walked out the hall and I was like oh my god was that like his last look at me is he going off to take himself somewhere to die it was just that kind of vibe I got off I was like oh my god I won't see him again that was it that was our goodbye did he return he did return a short time later I thought he'd gone to Diane Amber's room because she wasn't there. Maybe it's his ghost. He wouldn't dare Diane Amber's room.

She'd go mad. Mad. Okay. Here is our first email. Hi, Joanna Vogue. I should say up top that I come in peace, but I'm one of the straight male fans that you don't believe in, but we do exist.

I work on a building site and everyone else is listening to sports radio and bland music you two are always on for me and you've taught me loads I feel like I understand a lot more than I used to thank you very much um yeah good oh no I'm writing in because my wife and I have stopped having sex probably for two years now I'd say we've probably done it over the last two years three or four times but it's usually if we drink or the on the odd time I have an appetite for more of course you do but whenever I try and initiate it my wife isn't into it I don't really know how to bring the subject up because whenever I try she says she's been tired or brushes it away we're in our late 30s married for eight years and together for 13 years in all I love her so much and I feel like we're missing out on a big part of our relationship any ideas

um I would in these situations I would always direct people to Esther Perel who I'm obsessed with who wrote the book Marrying in Captivity who talks about trying to keep lust alive in long-term relationships it's incredible her TED talk has like 10 million views her book is amazing it's all about that stuff about how if you can rely on someone how you can swap from living with someone and kind of taking the bins out together to wanting to rip each other's clothes off in the evening it's like it's kind of an impossible task yeah but there are ways around it I think um and I think that there's different reasons for not like if somebody I remember I was

in a relationship and uh and the person that I was with at the time just kind of lost his libido but like he was going through a lot of his own shit but like it was really awkward and like I still wanted to and it was just like it got to a point where then it was like actually now this is awkward for both of us and I just don't want to even like try that but then you still want to to do it and to feel loved and to have somebody to have that contact with somebody so I always think that like maybe it's something to do with the way your wife is feeling about herself um her body yeah like own mental health and that's that's one of the reasons that she may not want to have sex and it's just carried on from that because it's like you say once it goes it's it's kind of it's hard to get it back then

I think that you can get it back but two years years is a long time before you're going for it. And like, I think that like, there needs to be a lot of conversations, like a lot of conversations. You can't just ignore it. Go to a sex therapist. Why not? Yeah.

I just be like, listen, this is a real issue for me. I feel like you're not attracted to me. Yeah, it makes you then feel bad about yourself. I feel like we're just housemates now. Is there anything we can do? Can we go and talk to someone about it can we because it is a bit sex is a bit elephant in the

elephanty in the roomy when it's not happening do you know what I mean it's a bit like especially if you want it to happen and it's not happening it's just like oh god it gets to a point where it's just really really awkward yeah or you don't want it to happen and it's happening it's also really awkward i've been that soldier oh yeah no that was great yeah

what you mean yeah i was looking at the window no not at all not at all i do think i do think for this though um i think that you just really need to sit and talk to her and yeah i think that like couples therapy can be really really helpful in a situation like that because obviously we're not therapists but I do think from experience from experience it can get to a point where it's just like like that's kind of why we broke up in the end I'm not saying that you're gonna break up but like I I was I was quite young and I was like fuck this couldn't be arsed it's too much for me to deal with and it kind of drove a wedge between us and then we just broke up and I got it somewhere else I used to be very

black and white about these kind of things and I'd be like oh once the sex goes that's it now that's the end of it can't get that back but

I'm wiser now and I do believe you can actually but you have to talk about it which is you know not ideal

but yeah you have to talk about it not is you know not ideal but yeah you have to talk about it not embarrassing but just yeah exactly it's kind of a very uncomfortable situation I think

to have to talk about sex is part because when you're young sex just happens a lot of the time you don't really have to work at it that much everyone's just trying to

rip each other's clothes off the whole time but as you get older and you're in longer term relationships it's not always as easy as it was so it does need a bit of chat at times yeah you know I agree I agree she's probably she's probably really keen to talk about it as well and that is our um answer to that email which thank you for sending that in and we do love you our male listeners when you're

out there we hope we have helped in some way I mean basically we just said speak to her. But I do think that is the key. Talking is very, like it's, it really works. It does. So you just have to do it and just stop ignoring the problem that fully exists

and is not making you happy. And she's probably not happy either because she's then probably worried what you're thinking. Hey Ghosts. hey ghosts oh i like that uh what more could you want at this time of year than a cozy festive riding embarrassment story gather around for the tale i had a work christmas party this week and like anyone when the bar is free i was on a mission to get annihilated before they realized the size of the tab and shut it down that does always happen yeah that happened at a wedding before and then they reopened it they shut it down they're like no no no this is too much and then they're like oh we feel bad and they opened it back up again

um I accomplished that mission dear reader with distinction I did Mariah on karaoke, made a joke to the head of H.O.R. about giving a blowy in the toilets, which was just a joke. I didn't actually do that. And finished the night being sick into my elf hat. Vogue, remember when you caught all of She's She's Sick in your bed? I was in a taxi and managed the same thing. We're winners. Fine. I got a,

this sounds actually like a really good, it sounds like you've had a really good time. I got home ready to give my husband a Christmas ride with all the trimmings. I got in at 3am, but I was 100% confident he'd wake up and be into it. This is where my plan went off track. I would, if Smeny did that to me,

reeking of booze and puke i would go absolutely mental i went upstairs that way you think you're being silent i went into our bedroom and got straight to it i don't remember this myself but apparently i said wake up babe i want you to fuck me now oh no every man's dream surely well it depends how drunk she was did you ever see that i don't know if i sent it to you there was a video of this man being like my wife went on her girl's brunch over christmas eight and you see her walking up the driveway and she literally is falling everywhere falling into bushes and then she starts trying to do this walk like it's like she could have been that drunk which is not sexual um the rest is a blur that kind of sexual swagger but the rest is a blur the light lights came on and that's when i oh no and that's why when i remembered

that his parents were staying with us because i was staring straight at them we always give them our room and we sleep on a camp bed downstairs in my drunken state i'd completely forgotten that is like you've got it you've got to move to the north pole or alaska the only places the sahara probably maybe if you want a bit of heat but you've got you've got to move continent at least it's time for a new life and a new identity the cherry on the cake was they were staying with us for a few for a funeral of a close friend So the vibe was more gloomy than normal. Luckily, they saw the funny-ish side in the morning, by which time I was a hungover mess with more shame and anxiety

than I'd ever experienced. Christmas parties, I've completed them. For the love of God, don't say my name on the pod. Merry Christmas. Oh, dear God. I'd never ever ever recover It's kind of embarrassing if you wake up

and you've had sex in your parents house because you can't even be pissed with someone and you're like oh God you know Did they hear? Did they hear? It's another thing walking in and actually trying to seduce the parents themselves What an intense start to the season well end, end, I guess.

That is completely shocking and unacceptable. No. I do remember when we were kids and we'd have slumber parties, girls would get lost in the hallway and they'd go into,

like, do you know, it happened like they're trying to get into bed with the parents and that kind of thing. There's something very intimate about a bed and fucking your partner. Like, they're intimate times

between the two of you yeah I don't want anyone else there when I'm trying to get my shit on particularly when I'm drunk no never I do like the description of sex with all the trimmings though that's kind of sexy

like that means like I mean handjobs who does them anymore but I'm assuming that they would be included like fuck that I was thinking more kind of sexy like that means like I mean hand jobs who does them anymore but I'm assuming that they would be included like fuck that I was thinking more kind of like tinsel lingerie

because I'm cheap and nasty oh no I was thinking like touch the balls kind of thing I've got a dirty mind okay

just touching the balls I think I think if I ask Manny for the trimmings he would rather ball touching than

lingerie Tinsley lingerie I don't know Vogue ask him thank you so much everyone for listening I've missed you thank you so much

we hope you have a lovely Christmas and you're gearing up for the new year and you're gearing up for the new year and you're making your manifestations and your goals and we'll see you next year Bye.