My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "Cards on the table... Let's get real."

Episode Date: October 9, 2024

So try and get this into your mind... This bonus was recorded AFTER the episode that you will eventually hear on FRIDAY. It's a full time travel thing, because of logisitcs... Just listen and it'll all make sense. Vogue has arrived in NYC and she and Joanne have been out and about all over the place. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me, coming live from New York, where we can only see nostrils on a mouth of Joanne, but that's OK. Oh, there she is. She's looking down. There she is. We see you now. Oh, no. Jesus, Joe, these are something else, these mics. Aren't they? I think they're amazing. Are they? They're great, but I don't know what's wrong with me.

I seem to have a mental block about hitting. I mute it 70 times a minute. Why do I slap the mic so much? Why am I so aggressive? Why am I physically, why do I punch the mic? There's no need. I purposely bought mic phones that you can't touch. The idea is that I didn't want you touching them.

So if you touch them, they mute. So you can't touch them. We're doing this for the listeners because there's been, there's been some chat about sound because I know I myself, I take accountability for the fact that I throw my head back a lot when I laugh. So you're gonna, our episodes are a bit mixed up because we're doing the bonus now. We did the main episode that's going out on Friday and we were talking about our night out in New York, but now the bonus is happening today and coming out today and we had our

night out last night. So it's all a bit of mumble jumble, but we were out last night. I have no idea what you just said. Neither does anyone else, but that's okay. I tried to explain. We're in America, that's all I know. Vogue's upstairs, but she's in my computer. Joe's in London and he's in the screen. That's all I know.

Carry on. I landed yesterday in New York and I got straight to the hotel, left straight away to live my New York life. And I met Joanne and our friend Dan and his husband and his cousin and we went for a lovely meal last night. We did. Now I have to say, I thought we were going to, I was thinking we were, Joanne was going to have to drag me home with a wheelbarrow because I'd be so deranged.

We were in bed by nine o'clock too. You had strong leaving energy. I get very anxious around people with strong leaving energy. I've actually kicked people out of my house because I'm like, I can feel your leaving energy. And they're like, I'm not ready. And I'm like, you are. You're giving me leaving energy. I need you to go.

Because it triggers my nervous system if I feel people are going to leave. I obviously have abandonment issues. It's probably adoption. I don't know. But anyway, so we're at dinner and Vogue starts yawning. And I'm, of course, getting nervous because I'm like, she's giving leaving energy. She's giving leaving energy. So I was like, fine, let's just go. Let's just go home. I wasn't even ready to go home. I permanently yawn. My mouth just falls open. It's really,

it takes a lot of effort to keep this closed. She has a lot of work keeping up my clothes. And so I was kind of closing it for her. I was kind of underneath her chin, just kind of holding her, my clothes. But I was like, folk, do you want to go? I'll go if you want to go. I just I can't bear the leaving energy. I don't want to go. This started at 6pm. I was like, I can't go to bed at 6pm. Do you want to go? You're like, let's just leave. It's fine. Just go. You're yawning. I can't take the leaving energy. It's triggering my nervous system. Everyone's leaving. Everyone's leaving me again. So anyway, we got back. We're staying with Patras Hotel in Manhattan, in

New York. Yeah. So because Manhattan. Manhattan. I actually, how dare I think I was going to get away with this? I just kept talking. It's like we actually, you know, we can hear you. You are Mike, we can hear you. If you say something wrong, you're like fucking annihilated. These new microphones, nothing escapes. So we're downtown Manhattan.

We're staying in the Fitzpatrick's Hotel because we're Irish and this is where all the Irish stay. It's like basically moths to a flame. And obviously I have a very strong connection with the Fentipatricks Castle Hotel in Killiney because like I tell everyone every time we pass it and every time we go into it, I used to work there. My friend texted me today and said he used to work here. Whatever about him. I don't care. I used to work in the other one. So I've told everyone here, obviously I used to work in the other one. So I've told

everyone here, obviously I used to work. The second I entered this one, they were like, I used to work in the one in Dublin. Yeah. Yeah. Very connected to the family. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's like, that's like every time I get on an airplane, I'm like, my mom used to be in our house. My mom used to be in our house. Yeah. No one gives a shit to you on. Every time. So I meet a nurse, my mother was a nurse or a diabetic. My mother was a diabetic nurse. Your diabetics. My mother was a diabetic nurse.

Yeah. Very connected to the diabetic community. My mother's a diabetic nurse. Anyway, so I've told all the staff here that I used to work here, et cetera. So, so yes, we're in Fitzpatrick's Hotel. We're very well located, Jo. Very well located. I walked by Bloomingdale's.

I was hoping to see Rachel from Friends pop out and say it's in, it's literally, we're 17 minutes, by the way you completely lied to me, we're 17 minutes from Central Park. Well it's, I've obviously, I run now so it's a three minute sprint from me to Central Park. I run, and also Vogue, just a flag. When you'll see when we go running today, because I'm in my fitness era, a lot of harnesses in Central Park, a lot of harnesses.

And if it's okay for America, it's okay for Top and Com. Listen, I went running the other day in Battersea and I threw up 16 times because that's how many harnesses I saw and every time I saw one I went, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, I couldn't believe it. And people write, I have not going to name names because it's mean...

So judgmental. People who go on a run, a 5k run with three litres of water, you won't even drink that in your entire day. You don't need three litres of water to run for five kilometres. I'm sorry. Apparently you're supposed to drink... Oh no no, I've forgotten the I've forgotten the answer. It's something about you're supposed to. There is a supposed to drink amount. You take your weight and you multiply it by your smugness and then it's like whatever on your height.

And there is actually there is actually an equation for how much water you're supposed to drink. Speaking of water, can I just... So I treated myself to this very gorgeous new water bottle. I bought it in Denver. Like I said, my fitness year and my hydration chapter has begun. So I bought this really lovely kind of mint green with a pink, pop of pink water bottle in Denver airport. And I was like, OK, do you want? I had a real word of myself and I said, OK, it was forty dollars. Yeah. Now look at it. Look at it, Joe.

It's really pretty and it's it's really pretty and it's it's it's like a flask as well, so it keeps things cold, keeps you warm. You can have soup. Yeah, you can have soup. Soup on your run, because obviously on 5k you need to make sure you're eating appropriately for a 5k. Yeah, I can fill it with yogurt and chug that while I'm running if I want. Nice cold drink. Anything I want.

Joanne? And I bought it at the airport and I was like, okay, Joanne, this is a $40 water bottle, you're not fucking around here, okay? That's bougie, right? Do not fucking lose this water bottle. I was like, I need to strap it on somewhere. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Boarded the flight. It's like, yeah, no problem here.

Water bottle still securely between my legs. Fell asleep, obviously, because I fall asleep anywhere. Woke up, disembarked the airplane, and the man sitting beside me was like, excuse me, excuse me, did you leave your water bottle? I was like, oh my God, I didn't even get it to fucking New York. Your water bottle is insulted.

But I did, but the guy passed it back, it has come back to me like a gorgeous boomerang, and I am determined to get this back to Heathrow. I am determined. It's not going to happen. I think you're just going to have to come to terms with it. I'm really sorry. I don't mean to be negative. I don't want to be negative, Joanne. I was considering... It's not happening.

I might chip it. I might chip it. I have an air tag you can have. I have an air tag. I might air tag it. Yeah, I might air tag it because it is exquisite. Like look at that now. I know the listeners can't see it, but it is, it's kind of a work of art. I think you should tuck your AirPods in there at the same time, because I always like doing two things at one time. So you might as well lose both of them

because it's going to happen. So just put the AirPods in and then say goodbye to all of them. That's not a bad idea actually. Yeah. I might as well, and then drain the AirPods, but at least I know where the water bottle is. I have a job for you today. Do you want to to hear what I'm gonna make you do for me today? Oh God go on

I need you to shoot some content for me I have an outfit that I need shot and you have to be my photographer Oh I could do that yeah yeah yeah yeah Are we doing a BTS what's going on is it the Little Mistress stuff? No it's actually for Martin Spencer but I have to get a shot and I thought where better to shoot it than New York? Yeah, no, I can do that. I'll direct you and stuff. Great. No, ugly, ugly, ugly. I'll be like, oh Vogue, not great.

Well, come here to me. As soon as I arrived in America, I went shopping and I'm just taking it that everything's free here because it's a lot cheaper than it is at home. So I have been going, oh you want to see what I've been buying Gigi hair bands for Christmas because they've got all these Christmas baubles on them. I went into the Frankie shop yesterday, lost my mind because it's a quarter of the price as it is at home. This place is fantastic. I got five boxes of the Lumify eye drops. If you're wondering why my eyes are so white. They are. They are so white. Things to get in America. Lumify eye drops, crest.

Strips. I need to get the crest today. Strips, crest strips. And there was something else that you have to get. Oh, sleeping tablets. Unisom sleeping tablets and Tylenol. And I also have to get a, oh, and as arapol, they have this stuff for heartburn that I'm going to get today and also unicorn sparkle toothpaste for Gigi because it's the only toothpaste she'll use. So I have to go to now. My third cam is looking for the unicorn sparkle. There's a gorgeously branded, I think it's a Pepto Bismol. It's for heartburn.

Tums! branded. I think it's a Pepto Bismol. It's for heartburn. Tom's! No, no, no. They're the sweets. There's this gorgeous, it's pink. It's called Pepto something. Anyway, I fucking, I'm dying for heartburn. It's the most beautifully packaged thing I've ever seen and in every chemist it really speaks to me. It's kind of bubble pink, bubble gum pink, really bubbly, bubbly branding. It's stunning. So I don't know who branded that, but Fair Play, Heartburn is very of the now. We have a message I'd like to share with you. Go on. Someone.

So I did a shout out for tips for New York on my Insta. And anyway, someone wrote, this was one of the messages I got from a woman called Julie Grek, she said, I love New York, go to Little Italy. And then she said, my mummy passed away this summer. She had early onset Alzheimer's disease and wasn't verbal for about two years. But I played MTGM pod for her sometimes and she would laugh her head off. Thanks to your Irish accents and ridiculous humor,

I was able to spend fun times with her as she was before she completely left me. I've been hungover. I'm definitely hungover. I'm going to cry. She says, can't wait for Saturday night. My mum will be there in spirit and actually I'm bringing her ashes. Oh my God. Stop it. She's done.

So I said we'd meet her. I actually asked if she'd meet us. That's the first time I've done that. Well I'd like to meet your mum. Yeah, no I said can we meet your mum? I said can we meet your mum? I just think when I hear it, because mum's dying, it's really sad. It's worse than dad's. I know. I agree. Mum, we just want to meet your mum. Leave her ashes at the stage door and we'll get them back to you.

Later on in the evening. We just want to meet your mum. Not you Julie. No, I'm kidding. Obviously Julie, we'd also like to meet you. We've got our show. So we've got New York. We've got Boston tomorrow night. We've got New York on Friday night and then we've got Toronto on Saturday night. Yeah and then I have Washington DC the next week. That's fun. Are you going to pop into the White House? Of course, I'm going to storm it. Just pretend to be somebody, just pretend to be related to Joe Biden. He's not going to know if you are or not. Well Joe Biden struggles with his memory by the looks of it as well so if

MTGM is good for people who are struggling with their memory, then maybe Joe Biden is listening to Ghosted as well as Julie's mother. Possibly. Do you know, I had a business plan when I was over here, as I do sometimes. Jesus, God. Yesterday, it was an hour and a half's dinner and I was just so hungry, I had to have a snack. So I went into one of the pizza shops that they have over here and the pizza

over here, it doesn't matter where you go, it is absolutely stunning. And I sat down and they had, this is what they had on the table for your pizza. Salt, pepper, oregano, and they had chili flakes and they had parmesan. All these things sitting on the table that you then put on top of your pizza. And I want to open a pizza shop in Ireland that you just get these one slices and like America, I think it's the best idea I've ever had. Salt on pizza guys. You heard it here first. She's invented salt on pizza. It's not just the salt. It's the oregano. It's the extra, the salt. It's the chili flakes.

It's the Parmesan all sitting on the table ready for you to garnish your pizza. I listen, I don't want to piss on anyone's business ideas. But I'm pretty sure that does exist around. There is a pizza shop in Temple Bar where you can go in and buy huge big slices. It's called Romano's or something like that. But listen, go for it. I'll tell you what I did get over here. Wait, let me show you. Hang on. That's so funny. That's like, that's like that, her doing the salt on the pizza thing

is like when I was, when I did Taskmaster and Nick Mohamed, we had to bring in something you could get into and people were bringing in trends and Nick Mohamed brought in the idea of putting an ice cube in a glass of wine. Do you remember that? Remember I told you about that? And he didn't know that you could do that. And he didn't think anyone else understood that you could cool down wine yourself with an ice cube. It's a similar territory with the, the oregano and the pizza. But yes. You're missing what I'm saying about the pizza. It's just not laid out like that in Ireland.

Sorry. So you want a clear condiment. Yeah. A clear condiment layer on the table. I want more condiments and I want more sauces. That's what I'm asking for. Wait till Dragon's Den get a sniff of this. I am going to be the new Levi Roots. I'll tell you that. Now do you want to see what I finally got my hands on because I was waiting two years for Joanne to bring me one. What did you get your giant hands on Gwansha? Sunkist.

Oh yes. Delish. Illuminous Sunkist. I'm going to hit a few delis today and just walk around and look at the cereal and everything like that. They have the best, well actually it's the worst processed food, but it's the best food ever over here. Did you hear that there was, you know these sweet shops in London where there's like Oxford Street and they have these huge big candy shops and no one knows how they make their money or what they're doing there. They've started seizing illegal sweets now, that they're

apparently a lot of the sweets in those shops have illegal ingredients in them. They're trying to crack down on the candy business in London. And I think, yeah, those shops are an eyesore. Are they? Well, I mean, there's worse shops, at least they're kept really tidy. But what I will say is you're not allowed, there's things with certain ingredients over here that we're not allowed to have at home like the Lumefy eye drops. Yeah. I mean, I can't, like, I can't imagine it's very good for whatever they do to your

eyes. I can't imagine your eye is like, oh yeah, give me more of that. Bleaching out your eyeballs. Yeah. Yeah. I can't, I can't imagine your poor little iris is like yum yum delish. I'm sorry look at the difference. I don't give it. I'm going to get white strips too. I'm going to be coming home like ultra gleaming. Yeah. I'm going to be glowing. There's a couple of people at home. I was going to buy some white strips for her too. Always slightly insulting, but I agree, yeah. Sometimes you have to be insulting, but it's for other people's own good.

I'm not talking about you either, Jo. You've got nice teeth. Well done. I had a friend of mine was staying with me and I gave her, I kind of was giving her stuff from the, I have this very busy kind of wardrobe full of cosmetics and like creams and stuff. And I was kind of giving her some of the stuff from that. And I gave her some teeth whitening strips, but I gave her so many that she did actually say, are you trying to suggest that I need them?

And I said, no, I'm not at all. I just I get sent stuff and you often get sent teeth whitening sets. And I was like, there's only so much of this stuff I can use myself. She was a little insulted and I was like no, no, no, no, no. Oh, hold on. I'm just going to, sorry guys, just going to film my water bottle. Sorry. I don't, I don't want to tell her, but like I don't even like her water bottle that much. I can still hear you though. I've got my headphones in.

I have a way nicer one at home. Absolute snitch! Absolute snitch! Joanne and I aren't going to talk with the rest of New York now because I slacked her water bottle. I'd give it a 6 out of 10 at most, I have to say. You're on floor 14, I'm on floor 15. Firstly, recognize the hierarchy

there. Secondly, I'm going to be straight down with my water bottle and ask you to apologize to its face. I'm not walking around with you today if you're, if you're bringing that with you. I have to bring it everywhere with me. It was $40. I know that before you get back to Heathrow, you've got to go to Boston, Toronto, LA and Washington. Jo you'll never see that in real life. You'll never see that in real life. I know. I know it myself. I know it myself. I know. It's horrible. It's like knowing someone's going to die. Do you know what I mean? That's why I have to bring it around to show it things.

I'm like look there's the Empire State Building. You'll never see that again. Well, it might with its new family who look after it. Actually, yeah, that's all that's the best I can hope for that whoever finds us, finds to it and gives it a good life. Dear J and V, is this normal? I'm 46 years old, married 17. What does that mean? Oh, 17 years. Whoa. Whoa. Joe, work that out for us. What's the math on that man? She got married when she was 29? 46 minus 17 is 29. Fair play, Vogue. Send that clip. Will you clip that up? I want to send it to Neil Wilson. He taught me all my maths.

I couldn't. I didn't have time to work it out. I was too busy drinking water. Go on. Oh, OK. Sorry. You were just hydrating. OK.

Stay hydrated, my friend. We have kids and the most beautiful cat in the Western world. I'm dying to get a cat now, I have to say. I love my husband. I fancy him. And we have a good sex life. All that said, I can tell you exactly where all my three main exes live.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. No way. Okay, cars on the table, let's get real. I've driven, oh, oh. I've driven past their houses at different times just to see if I see them and to see

what they might be up to. I don't pine after any of them save for the odd sex dream. Fair enough. But come on, who doesn't occasionally shag an ex in a dream? I've never had sex with an ex in a dream because that would feel more like a nightmare. Yeah, fair. Yeah. I just can't help myself being a bit nosy. Is this all of us with our exes or just me? I haven't asked my friends because I'm scared that I'll judge me and say it's absolutely not a thing. Come on, girls, tell me I'm not mad. You are not mad. I don't think I'm mad. No, no, no, the driver is mad.

So are we the right people to give this? Are we mad or like are we all mad and no one else does this? I think, I think everyone, like this is my, this is my take on it. Everyone's, when you go out with someone for any length of time or you don't even have to go out with them, people come into your life and they go out of your life and they're just kind of stitched into your DNA. They just kind of become part of you. They're just like in your body, in your brain, in your memory, in your wank bank, wherever they exist, and they don't go. Some people do. Some people do very rarely.

But like I'll be walking down the street and you have your head just like buzzing with stuff. Things are going through your mind. Someone will pop into my head who I was in primary school with. Like, you know, like these people, they're just part of you. So people that you were actually in love with or attached to in a significant way, you're not going to just forget about them. And also I think it's sometimes I think it's really sad. Like some of the person who was for that period of time, the most important person in

your life, probably. Sorry, Pat. And then they were your person. You spoke to them all the time. They were the person you went to. You had sex with them. You hung out with them. You laughed with them. You orgasmed with them. You fought with them. You made up with them. And then they're just gone. And they're just, you don't speak and everyone's blocked. That's my experience. Anyway, that's usually how it gets to me. That's a lot, you know? It's a lot. It's traumatic. But I think, I even think of people that like, I like, I've had like one, one one night stand, I think in my whole life. And honestly, last week I was like, what?

I know. Yeah. Why is that bad or good or not bad? I know. Listen, I'm a frigid. We've, we've said this. Is that really bad? I don't know if I knew that you'd only had one one night stand.

Yeah, maybe two. Maybe two. I think we've heard it before, but every time you hear it, it hits the same again. Yeah. Have you guys, have you both had loads? Don't do this to me because I'll feel really like I've missed out. I mean, I don't know. I actually haven't. But I'm quite, I haven't. Yeah. Yeah, you're both fridges. I've, I told you I've always been in relationships. But anyway, anyone that I've been with and even like this guy that I was with for a while, I found myself down a rabbit hole looking at his insta pages. What the hell am I doing? And then I was like, Oh, I better not watch the videos because then he'll see that I've

watched it. And I was like, fuck it. I don't care. I started watching all the videos. I was like, actually don't care. I want to see that. That's almost kind of threatening behavior. That like, actually, I don't care. I want to see that. That's almost kind of threatening behavior. That's real like, I don't care. I know you're going to see that I'm sniffing Ranger Paige.

One of my ex's texted me on my birthday and I had a perfectly great conversation with him. There's only one ex that I literally have no dealings with whatsoever. I just think that you will always think of other people. Don't be doing drive-bys now. Make sure you're not caught doing the drive-bys. I think if you're walking past exes and going by their house, it shows a level of maturity. Because do you not remember when you'd walk past an ex and run away? You'd be like, fuck that! And go the other way. So actually, well done. You're very mature. And do you know what? It shows a level of maturity because you didn't knock in. Yes! Do you know what? It shows the level of maturity because you didn't knock in. Yes!

Do you know what I mean? You kept going. So you're not mad, you didn't knock on his door. Well done. You didn't knock in. You didn't try and break in. You didn't look through the window. You kept driving.

And I think that shows healing and maturity. Do you want to know how immature I am? I once pranked an ex. Like spent ages prank calling him. Like and that's not that long ago. I'd say it was about, it was less than two years ago that I was doing it. What? What?

One night stand, one night stand and prank calling your ex boyfriend. I know you look 14, but are you actually 14? I am a sad. I tell you what, if anyone has nothing to do this weekend, do a couple of prank calls. They're very good for the soul. I'm about to go knickknack Joanne's door. I'd love to prank call my exes, but sadly I can't contact them because everyone's blocked. Don't worry.

We've got my phone. Come on up. So true. Yeah. Because just because they block you, you still have their number. Yeah. I can still call them for you. I'll do a prank on one of them.

You can't take my numbers away. You can't take my numbers away. I've got your numbers. I've got all your numbers. All of them. That's it for the bonus. Oh, love them. That's it for the bonus. Vogue, I'll see you downstairs in three minutes. Joe, we'll see you whenever we see you. You will.

Okay, bye. Vogue, I think we should not get you one night stand in New York. Okay, wrap it up. Hahaha!