My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "Dubarry..."

Episode Date: September 21, 2022

In this EXTRA, you catch Vogue & Joanne dealing with the same hangover that you heard about in the main episode. Plus, an angry email and a bit of begging (for crisps). If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Do you know what I love? I was actually looking again, it's by Lindsay Lohan. Do you know when someone, it's clear, some of their Instagram posts they do themselves and the other ones, they're clearly not written by them. Like when it's their own Instagram posts, it's like typos and exclamation points and like love hearts.

And then when it's someone else, it's like semicolons and like, well, it's really like officially. It's clearly not the same person. Anyway. I don't let anyone touch my Instagram. Like not one person has the password. I just physically can't do it.

I wouldn't, I just would hate that. I, my, one of my agents has access to it. Oh my God. I don't know. No,

I couldn't do that. Cause there's nothing in it. And I trust her. No, I I know but I just wouldn't want anyone posting something that I didn't do Oh sorry No no no I know

No she doesn't do that She just goes into look She needs like insight sometimes and stuff I let her in I suppose that's a good idea

because I hate having to do those bits but I just can't I can't let go I can't let go CBA as they say CBA That stands for Can't be arsed. Thank you.

Welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Joanne McNally and her, Vogue Williams. Hard seltzer enthusiast, Vogue Williams. Chicken salad sandwich lover, Joanne McNally. Thank you. Loves a quaver, that girl. Wine, wine enthusiast, only if it's cheap shit. Yeah. How much would you be spending

on a bottle of wine? What are they, like a tenner? Toilet duck enthusiast, Joanne McNally. I would be around. Glass cleaner lover. I am a glass cleaner lover. Vogue Williams.

I love glass cleaner. 10 to 12 would be what I'd spend on a bottle of wine. Do you know what? 10 to 12. Like if I had a bottle of wine, I would be like on the floor, blackout drunk. So for 12 quid. It's an absolute bargain.

It's such a bargain. Yeah. Bargain. The bargain blackout. That's what I'm into. Do you know what I mean? Why spend money like the thing is

like we've said a million times I don't care what it tastes like I just love the experience of cracking open a bottle of wine pouring it in a glass like I don't really

it's very rare it was only once recently I was doing a festival and they gave me a bottle of Chardonnay in the green room and I opened it

and I couldn't drink it Chardonnay I can't ABC the opposite of CBA ABC anything but Chardonnay I can't. ABC. The opposite of CBA. ABC anything but Chardonnay that's what they say. It just tastes like warm it tastes like someone dropped a knob of butter

into a bottle of piss. I heard it was very dry a Chardonnay. It's gross. Everyone seems to like Sauvignon Blanc. I actually, do you know one time I had a glass of wine, it wasn't like pure vinegar. It was Sancerre. Have you ever had that?

Sancerre is a nice wine. Sancerre is a nice wine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A bit fancy for me now, but. Too fancy for you. That's why I was unsure if you tried it. Yeah, no, no, no, no. I've seen it.

I've seen it around. I've seen it knocking around. An old Sancerre. Yeah, that's for the fancies. I'm punishing myself anyway for the next, like, I'm not drinking for at least two weeks, honestly. Look at all the drinks I have in front of me. Well, just to say these are, we should, because people don't see, they are non-alcoholic drinks. I have a Pepsi. I have a tea. I have a dash water and I have a lemon water thing it's the problem I was saying to

Prada Peter I was like the problem going out with someone is you you drink way more than usual and you eat way more than usual he's like Joanne you're doing that on your own yeah that's true he's not even here I'm like look what you've made me do I've eaten everything Joanne was texting me she was sitting in the pub drinking on her own while peter was there and his laptop she's like oh well at least i've got company he was working send me the link to his runners i wasn't joking i know that you said that his runners were cool you just sent a laughy face i want his runners oh yeah he has a nice pair of neon runners i'm slowly i'm slow you know when you meet some like we mean we've discussed this me and him have discussed this are each other's fashion sense you know we looked it was jar like we didn't discussed this, are each other's fashion sense, you know,

we looked, it was jar, like we didn't, we didn't like each other's fashion sense. You can change that in a person by the way. Well, this is what's, this is what's happening.

Yeah. You're, you're cooling him up. He's like. I'm cooling him up. I'm driving that lad out of Chino, Wangtown basically. And like,

I'm fine. It seems to be, I mean, he seems to be making progress on the feet first. Well, you have to start somewhere. Feet, then make the way up.

It's like Spenny, when I met him, he wore these slippers. You know those slipper shoes he prances around in? Yeah. He still has the slippers, but he doesn't wear them

nearly as much. Well, Alan was going through his shoes the other day and he's like, am I, he held out these, pair of these brown

kind of ankle, slightly healed boots. And he's like am I he held out these pair of these brown kind of ankle slightly healed boots and he's like am I ever wearing these again and I was like well not on my watch he's like okay and then I found them he just thrown them in the bin in the kitchen I was like they're good shoes like so I'm gonna bring them down to Oxfam or something but yeah he just threw them in the bin threw them in the bin I was like you can't just throw shoes in the bin there's like because there's a clothes crisis yeah you can't throw them in the bin just threw them in the bin I was like you can't just throw shoes in the bin there's like there's a there's a clothes crisis you can't throw fabric yeah you can't

throw fabric in the bin you can't do that it's like throwing a suit I'm not going to wear the suit anymore and just throw it in the bin like it's weird I wish Spenny would throw

his witchy boots in the bin they're desperate that is exactly what they are they're witchy boots they look like they should be they should be hanging off

either side of a broomstick. Oh my God. But yeah, so I am trying to slowly, and I know they say you shouldn't meet someone and then trying to change who they are, but we're both trying to change. We're both trying to pan or beat each other towards the other. So I think we'll meet somewhere in the middle. But if you see me out wearing doobries, shoot me. Okay.

It's gone too far. Doobries. Yeah. The doobs. From back in the day do you know what doobries do not know what doobs are doobries they're not called doobries are they not they were like what the posh lads the shoes posh people wore they're like sailing shoes I remember I had the audacity to wear a pair of Dubarris into school and the abuse I got for, do you know what? I'm going to order a pair of Dubarris.

I want a pair of them. I think they're probably back. I'm going to bring them back. Yeah. It's probably ironic now. I wore, I had a pair of Dubarris and I had, I turned the lace. It's like when you say Battersea, it's Dubarris. And I turned the Dubry laces

into little corkscrews. Do you remember that was the rate? Jesus Christ, they're 90 quid. Yes, yes. You turn them into corkscrews. Now I didn't really, I wore the Dubs one day and I never wore them again

because my friends liked me so badly. I was like, I'm not going through this, this again. 80 quid. Dubarry, if you're listening, send me a pair. I'm not sending 80 quid in a pair of Dubarry's, sorry.

If you become the face of doobries I will die laughing if you call them doobries again stop being so combative that will never not be funny to me

Joanne I'm telling you will I get navy or a brown two berries honestly you can't get a brown get it I'd go if you're going to go doob. Ah, you can't get a brown. Get it. I'd go navy.

If you're going to go Dub, go navy. My dad used to love a pair of Dubarrys. God rest his soul. God rest his soul. Did you bury him in his Dubs? Oh, stop. I remember. That's a very health death.

I know. I do remember what we buried him in. That's terrible. And I put 20 quid in his pocket so he could get himself a pint when he went up. Never get that. I'll never see that money again. Get us back, yeah? Come back from the dead.

I'm going to need that money in a week. You'll see me up there. Where the gang still goes. I'm actually glad we've had this conversation because now I'm going to buy Dubreys and anyone else

who decides to buy them you got it actually Joanne they've no plain navy what they're I mean Emma you'd want to see these they're fancy now

they call themselves a Marbella deck shoe let me have a little look now and see this is absolutely gas Dubreys need a rebrand they need to do

I want to see doobries in like they want to do a crock does where they're like they I want to see a doobry collab with Gucci

or Fendi or something who told you they were called doobries I was a fake posh kid no they've no plain navy and I'm not I'm not into a No, they've no plain navy. And I'm not into a brown. No.

You've let yourself down now, dude. I want to see if they've done anything with themselves, if they've upgraded in any way. They're doing a boot now. Now, they look the exact... I cannot believe they've done the Admiral Doob deck shoe. They've done nothing with it. It looks the exact same. I want the Admiral, but I want it navy.

God damn it. Look at you why don't you get the Port Moccasin the Belize deck shoe oh my god Joanne you would look

absolutely fantastic in the Portofino oh actually we have to get on to this right now do you know what I'd love I'm like oh my god the state of those

doobies and next week I'll be like we'll be doing an ad for them doobies. And next week I'll be like, we'll be doing an ad for them. Doobaries. My favourite shoe since

1998, folk. Strutting around in her portafino. You can't not get me out of my port moccasins. Oh my God, the Biarritz canvas deck was right up your street. Here's a swipe up code. I'm, ah, listen to Barry.

Do you know what? They do a nice welly kind of thing. It's like a country boot. It makes me want to move. It makes me want to move out of London to get myself a country boot. Oh my God, a Sligo country boot. No, I'd go for the Longford one.

Name myself. You're too deep now. oh my god a Sligo country beat no I'd go for the Longford one name myself too deep now too much you need to pull it back I can't believe we spent the last 10 minutes trolling the Do Barry website that is time well spent

those boots they're very gloucestershire aren't they am i we don't do the boots jesus christ I look desperate. I was going to wear sunglasses on the pod and I thought I can't do that. That's also Joanne's thing. Oh yeah, they'd be ructions. Okay, list your emails.

Yeah. Hey girls, a quick one to say that I've just had a stand-up row with my stepdad because I defended your rights as women. I was listening in the kitchen and my stepdad made a passing comment that he can't stand hearing women swear. Maybe it's premenstrual time, defo is,

but I absolutely eviscerated him. That's a good word. Great word. Not sure how we're leaving it, but he seemed to leave with his tail between his legs. Fuck men, and their need to tell women what they can and can't do. The end. But we kind of agree with him. If someone's very angry, she needs to bleed.

She needs to have a good bleed. Get this out of her system. Do you know what you want? I got invited. I got invited. No, no, no. We need to address this. I know. I just need to tell you one thing

because it reminded me of it. I got invited to a menopause event. I fucking know. That's where they think I'm at. Excuse me. I just had a child. Thank you.

Yeah, they're praying you go into menopause because they're worried about the environment, I would say. They're like, we think menopause is something you should consider, please. The world is burning. The world is burning.

They've got it on their vision board. If we think it enough, it will happen. If we think it, think it, think it. Light as a feather, stiff as a board. Do you remember the witch chanting when you were a kid with your fingers under somebody

thinking you could lift them up yeah they're hoping they can lift they can lift your uterus out of you so that you stop

burning the world down the craft the craft that was a great movie we used to always try and elevate like when we'd have sleepovers

we'd stick fingers under each other yeah everybody would do that that's the stick fingers under each other yeah everybody would do that that's the important caveat under each other and then try and elevate each other light as a feather

stiff as a board light as a feather like the energy if you walk and lapse around them would make them just like take off into the sky never worked

never worked anyway the curveball there is we agree with your father no we don't agree with your father but I don't think it's a gender thing

it's just that when you listen back it does sound harsh i don't listen back but i can imagine it sounds my stepdad would have a nervous breakdown if he heard the way we swear on this like he i've only ever heard him say shit in my whole life i've known him 28 years he said shit once and to say i was shocked i was like oh my god like it takes a lot he's only said it once as well that's the only one time. Shit. That's it. See the thing about it is when you swear too much, it loses its impact. I do like an old swear. Now I don't say C-U-N-T. You're a fan of that word. I never say that word. Too far. But then again, you think of what it represents. Like, why is that? Why is that even such a bad word? I don't

like that it even like represents that it's not nice. I'm so hung over that I think I'm going to go and collect tea from nursery earlier. I wonder if I can give some kind of excuse. I just want his company. Oh my God, you're using your child as a therapy animal. Well, the other two are asleep. I need someone. Mummy had too much jungle juice

last night, yeah. Cook noodles for mummy. Hold a basin for mummy. Hold mummy's hair back while she pukes into the basin. Thank you, theatre. Mummy, mummy, what's happening? I love that. I love my mother pulled me out of school early to come home and see her hangover. I know

because it's a full hour before I can collect them. I'm thinking that's a bit long. Hi Vogue, Joanna. Jo. Jo's not here. So hi Vogue, Joanna. Emo. Me and my sister recently came back from a wedding in Ireland. It was a great family occasion. The night before the wedding was messy,

messier than the wedding day itself always is. Stayed up till four in the hotel bar. Some of us were better behaved than others. And my sister managed to sneak off from the family and go and have sex in the gents toilet with a friend of an in-law she had to see him the next day at the wedding but there was enough people there that it wasn't awkward the meal came and who should be placed in the same table as us the fella luckily they were placed on opposite sides of the table so had little interaction apart from the odd

wine and juice flirty eye anyway the fellow went straight to bed after the meal never to be seen again that ended the love story that could have been not sure if it was the awkwardness that sent him off or maybe a killer hangover from the night before that's a bit strange now that he wouldn't go for round two this sounds like a movie i know but like why would you not go for round two if it's like sitting there waiting for you because i we have this assumption that men would just stick it in anything not that i'm saying your friend is anything but you know maybe they don't maybe they're just like i'm not into this but i find it quite bizarre that name i do i like well as you said maybe he just wasn't into it but like it's the height of insult when you're like come on

we're both pissed and you know i'm i'm here like spread out like a jam sandwich on a plate i'm like a pig on a stick with an apple in my mouth and you still don't want to ride me. That's highly insulting. I'd be highly insulted. But also like why the Jen's toilets? You were staying in a hotel. Like surely one of you had a bedroom because it's sexy. You can hit your skirt up. You can kind of like you're sitting on the urinal. Come on. Yeah. Urinals are very sexy actually. They are very attracted to them. Yeah. I personally, I love the scent. Well, that's because of those urinal cakes. Yeah. Oh god they're disgusting. I gave them up for Lent one year.

Oh hang on. Someone's trying to ring me. I'm too hung over to answer numbers. I don't know. It's not the day for that. I've never hooked up with anyone at a wedding. I remember being really pissed at my friend Audrey's wedding and I was wearing this top like a boob tube top and I was at the bar and it had fallen down and I was standing there with my boobs hanging out.

Like what happened to you in Ibiza airport. Your tits were just hanging out. Do you not remember that? No. Oh yeah, I forgot you blacked out. Yeah, your tits were just hanging out. It was actually, no, it was when we landed at Gatwick. That's where it happened.

What was I wearing? Why were they just hanging out? A boob tube. You were wearing that green boob tube. Where are they? Would you not have thought to say something to me? Strangely, I didn't notice for a few minutes and then you noticed

and I was like, oh God, yeah. Tits are out on a plate. It's the power of the disco tit. The disco tit. Yeah. People don't notice when they creep out of things. Well, that's it. Thanks for having us.

Hold on. That can't be. Look, you're trying to wrap it up. I'm off to dive face first into a dairy milk Oreo. If you haven't had one, don't.

I wouldn't really invest in one. They're not that great. Are they? No, I'd rather a caramel bar to be honest. Is today going to be dip-dop central? I haven't had a dip.

I've weaned myself off them. I haven't had a dip-dop in a long time't had a dip. I weaned myself off them. I haven't had a dip-dop in a long time now. And I don't even, even when he mentioned it. Now what I would love is a salt and vinegar hunky-dory, but obviously I can't get my hands, or a Johnny Onion ring. Sorry, I'm not, sorry Vogue. No, I'm cutting you off.

I'm not letting you use this podcast to get free crisp sent from Ireland. I'm just not having it. So I would like, excuse me. No, cut her off, Emma. Do not cut it. So I would like, excuse me. No, do not cut this out. I would like a box of Johnny Onion Rings and I would also like a box of

salt and vinegar hunky-dories. I've just finished the buffalo ones. Thank you very much for sending them, but I need, I need to be, I need to reinvest. And also while you're doing it, a packet of snacks.

Well, I'm going to use this podcast. I would like world peace. Okay. I'm going to use the platform for good. world peace Okay I'm going to use the platform For good You do you I'll do me

What are you saying Is that it's not good World peace And a Dyson hairdryer Because I never Sent it in the end But world peace And a Dyson hairdryer

And some snacks And hunky-dory And Johnny and Inward Please thank you Bye Do you want to sell your tour or anything I do

pluggy plug plug my favourite part of the day I'm still on tour well it's good you're giving yourself a break next year oh wait hang on we're going on tour

we're going on tour I'm still on tour So there's I've Vicar Street I've 14 Vicar Streets left I've done 47 Is that the right maths?

You have 14 What? 14 Vicar Streets left And there are tickets There are tickets There are tickets Shockingly Yeah I know

There were tickets I think I finally Hit my limit I think I finally Rensed Dublin How many How many Vicar Streets total How many Vicar Streets Will that be? 60 in total Once I've these 14 done I think I finally hit my limit I think I finally rinsed Dublin how many how many Vicar Street's total

how many Vicar Street's will that be 60 in total once I've these 14 done oh my well that is do you know what congratulations

I'm very proud of you that is absolutely amazing you'll be doing it next year no doubt no thanks I'll be going to watch Mary Black sing live there again

if she ever hits up Vicar Street you'll be like I'm in rehearsals for Sharknado 8 shut up Joanne we're doing our own show remember

god damn it she's never going to get to it she's never going to ride it I cannot believe Spencer agreed to be in that that is just so funny

thank you for listening to my therapist ghosted me the bonus episode with me Joanne and whore wh And whore. Whore.

Whore. Folk. Bye.