My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "Goodbye, lost soul..."

Episode Date: April 19, 2023

Before they check out (only for 2 weeks!) and get ready for the UK leg of MTGM on tour, V&J have a hat-trick of BANANAS emails that they have to get through... If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/MTGM is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! Remember to check the venue websites as well as Ticketmaster! For more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with Mevo Williams and Joanne McNally. That's her name. It is, indeed. Do you know what really bothers me? What? And the abbreviation thing bothers me more.

People with a shit handshake. It really annoys me. I cannot. Because all it says to me is you don't respect me enough to clutch on. That is not it. Some people have a wet fish hand. Now, what I don't understand is I've met a couple of people actually over here in Port and they've done a little

wet fish hand and like these are people that are very very prominent in business and I thought over the over the last 30 years of your career no one's told you to cop the fuck on and stop giving a limp dick hand like no thanks I know you're like I don't want your impotent

wet handshake do you think maybe they're kind of giving you like a royal, like you've to kind of. I think, I honestly think it's a lack of respect. I guarantee if they met Elon Musk, they wouldn't be doing that. I reckon like Elon Musk could have a limp hand like that. Some people that you would never expect have limp hands. But like, you know what? When you take it, you're literally like, it actually makes you shudder a bit.

You're like, oh God. Do these men know that you're the CEO of a giant tanning dynasty? I think they do. Because if they knew that. They don't give a shite. Oh, well then that's very disappointing. That's pure misogyny, I would say.

I think if I ever thought I was going to get respect again, I should never have done this podcast with you because do you know what? All it's brought me is tears and disrespect. And loss of earnings. You love it. So really fantastic news for you. I was reading an article.

And according to science, too much exercise is bad for you. So if you exercise too much, it's just as bad as not doing any exercise at all. So all I'm saying to you is you do not have to feel bad about the lack of exercise you have done. Because I know amongst all that stuff, extra suitcase you've bought, you haven't bought any gym gear. I know that. Are you not worried about yourself? This is the thing. People think that I work out like all day, every day.

I do a half an hour with John Belton. Or else I'll go for like like I went for a 40 minute run yesterday only because I was slow as a snail because he dragged me along a beach um how do you run in that heat I've actually started running again because I just need some movement in my life because it's this this this this job at the moment is just so static like planes and then cars and then you know there's just no movement So I started running But I actually really enjoy it However Running in heat

My hair is constantly Wet Constantly Like I can't keep up with it I try dry shampoo It doesn't work Like it's just got sweat And then I wash it

And it's like And the water over here Is kind of weird I don't know I need some sort of I might go to Turkey And get a hair transplant I'm not loving my hair.

I'm just wracking my head. Anyway, I'm delighted to hear it, Vogue. And I hope that you survive this news. I have survived the news, but I would like people to know that I don't train more than a half an hour, 45 minutes a day. And I do it five times a week

and I take breaks. But John was... That's still loud. Yeah, it is. It is good. But that's the way you look. Yeah. John Belton kept looking Back at me on the beach

Because like not only Were we running on sand Which is torture Really hard The wind was also against us And I obviously looked like I was about to pass away Because he kept having to stop

And be like are you okay Can you keep going on Thank you for fitness Shaming me Vogue Thank you What happens if you Squat yourself to death What are me and Jo

Going to do Guys Do you want Stop making this Pretend thing A real thing You know I don't Exercise that much Half an hour To 45 minutes yourself to death what are me and joe gonna do guys do you want stop making this pretend thing a real thing you know i don't exercise that much half an hour to 45 minutes five times a week is not crazy what if you burp yourself to death that's the only way that would be a terrible way to die as well what if you reverse lunge yourself into the ground what if i sumo dead If I pull myself to death John Belch would be up for manslaughter

He would No better man for us Would you like to hear some emails Joanne McNally Girls I know I'm really late on this one But I want to share it with you Would you like to hear some emails, Joanne McNally? Girls, I know I'm really late on this one, but I want to share it with you. I was married.

Oh, it's a marriage as well. I was married to my husband for three years and it was never really happy. We were too young and he was an asshole anyway. Here's how I found out he was cheating. He came home one night and I noticed that his phone was smashed down the screen I asked him

how it happened and he said it had fallen out of his jeans when he got out of the car well the next day he came home and the phone was fixed no cracks no scratches all good so I asked him when he'd had time to get it fixed because his work was usually really busy he said he'd done it at lunch one two skip a few and a week later, I saw his phone again with exactly the same damage as the first time. I asked him about it, and it all unraveled like a tube of

andrex. The phone hadn't been repaired. He had two phones. Oh, no. He had another woman on the other side of town. Watch your fella's phones, girls. Watch your fellas phones girls. It's always the phone. Do you know what? It's always the phone.

Oh my God. Little snaky bastard. So she obviously asked him and then he just admitted it all. God that was easy. I know but sometimes when you really get stuck

in a lie it's like do you know what? Now I'm caught. You know when you're caught really Get stuck in a lie It's like you know what And now I'm caught You know when you're caught I actually don't lie To be honest The phones The phones are

The cheat machines Cheat machines Pockets Pocket of betrayal Pocket of betrayal Get that cheat machine Away from me Get that cheat

I'm so sorry That happened to you That is a It's really Do you know what Why are you fucking I just It will never I know that you have Your own feelings on it Joanne But I'm still like so sorry that happened to you that is a re it's really do you know what why fucking but i just it will never i know that you have your own feelings on a drawing but i'm still like i just still don't

understand it like why bother going to the to the trouble of having a second phone just fucking break up with them and don't cheat i know you would wonder what you do you would wonder what kind of person can lead a double life like that. For that length of time. Like to carry it on. What's the point? Imagine the stress of it as well. That's it.

Hi girls. How about this one? I know you're always talking about your fellas trying to ride you and I've got a similar problem, but different. In the last month, he's been on at me to watch porn with him. He keeps putting it on when we go to bed and trying to ride me while it's on. Is that even a thing? Yeah. Hold on, sorry. So he's putting it on himself? Like a movie?

He puts it on and he wants to watch it with her and then ride each other while the porn's on. Okay he said he's always fancy doing it we've been married six years and we have sex and average of mine never got stale i'm not being prude i'm not against it just think it's a bit weird i don't think it's weird now i wouldn't say weird she's like what am i supposed to do watch it then ride or watch it and ride at the same time? I would say watch it then ride and then also watch it while you ride. Yeah. I've never done it now, I have to say. I've done it.

I've done it myself, obviously. It's never off my phone. I've never chill screened, whatever you want to call it. I don't know why you call it. But I can imagine it would be quite sexy. It can be quite sexy Now I've had a few drinks I've only done it

A couple of times Also do you know what right Have you done it Yeah yeah yeah A couple of times Yeah yeah I can imagine it would I think that's actually

Now that you're saying it I'm like that's a really Good thing to do Because sometimes When you're not in the mood Porn will get you in the mood So Yeah

Porn gets you both in the mood It's actually He's being very smart Because he's guaranteeing She'll get in the mood He Yeah Porn gets you both in the mood It's actually He's being very smart Because he's guaranteeing She'll get in the mood He's brainwashing her Into wanting the ride basically Smart guy

Yeah That is exactly What he's doing Yeah That's coercive control At it's finest And we love to see it I've been reading a few books

A few sexy books And it really gets you in the mood Yeah Books are great I am, as you can hear, Jen Fricker's doing my supports in New Zealand. She's so funny but she's actually on now and they

pump the show through the tannoys in the dressing room so you're getting a little stand-up show in the background. Life on the road. Life on the road. So anyway, to finish that off, I think that you should watch Pornwoodham. You're six years into your marriage. No marriage no actually hang on only if you want to

by the way oh yes sorry yes yes yes of course if you want to but it is like give it a yeah you watch porn right yeah

you better watch porn also like to caveat any of this information or advice obviously you know pinch a sot as we'd like to say yeah like

a big pinch a sot don't actually listen to anything we say please but now saying that like I don't it's not like like I've done it twice

in my whole life do you know what I mean like it's not something I would be doing on the reg I think if your husband's of six years

are they married yeah six years he's trying to kind of spice things up a bit I'd be like yeah fuck it let's give it a go why not

just be thankful he's not coming home with a gimp mask and a whip that'd be a bit much For me now I'd say he's about Three years away from it

But yeah Enjoy the porn stage Until he Until he has you changed You're getting a whole Rubber suit wardrobe Yeah Like a sexy Narnia

Oh But no I think Like I know couples who are like Yeah we've had to change things up You know Shit has to be changed up So yeah You definitely Yeah you have to change things up, you know. Shit has to be changed up.

So, yeah, change up. Yeah, you have to change things up. But the only thing with porn is, I'm like, shit, I don't, I'm, it's quite a, porn is a performance. I mean, sex is a performance as well, but like. Yeah, but porn's not real life. Don't be trying to do what the porn stars are doing because they're not even really doing it. Like, they, they're like, they have to try and force themselves to bang. It's not sexual.

When they're doing it, it's not sexual. This this is why and all these young ones are fucking all these kids are like choking each other out because they're watching porn thinking that's you know anyway whatever that's a that's a different that's a different podcast i think but um but i would watch the bit of porn and then but i would ride while it's on otherwise you're gonna watch this amazing performance and then you have to mimic that. So I would let the porn take the heavy lifting there and let them do all the sound effects. And then you can just chill.

Do a little bit of porn, a little bit of bits and bobs with each other while you're watching the porn. And then let the porn be on in the background. You can't just turn off the porn when it's been on. Just leave it on. You're not going to sit there watching it, obviously. You'll get more into each other by that stage.

Yeah, you don't just, you're not like a porcelain glass past the popcorn. You don't just sit there watching porn. You obviously get stuck in while you're not going to sit there watching it obviously you'll get more into each other by that stage yeah you don't just you're not like a porcelain glass past the popcorn you don't just sit there watching porn you obviously get stuck in while you're watching it well unless it's joanne and i like we really one of our favorite things to do together is sit at home in my basement and watch porn we love it remember we remember but remember that great night in we watched debbie does dallas girls i love that night i love that night. I love that night. Face masks. We just watched Debbie Does Dance. We love to put a face mask on and watch two girls,

one cup. One of our favourite things to do. One of our favourite things to do. We have a really great friendship. Hi Vuj and the abbreviation denier that's true yeah yeah

you're being called out an abbreviation denier it sounds like I'm a flat earther she is a flat she is a flat earther she is do you remember all that stuff she's gone on about the moons before

she doesn't believe that the earth is round she doesn't believe the moons have any pull on the oceans. Crazy lady. There's a difference between not wanting sauce just because sauce sells and thinking 9-11's an inside job. I'd like to think there's a difference there. They're on

the same line. They're along the same line. Okay? I wanted to say this. I'm not here for the next two weeks because I'm going to America to support Trump in his court case because I'm going to America to support Trump in his court case and I'm going to be joining QAnon good luck

bye yes actually we do have a two week break because Joanne is in fact going out to support Trump so I wanted to send this in ages ago

and the girl with the witch boyfriend gave me the courage to say fuck it and send it anyway here's a letter my ex sent me after we broke up. Again, he broke up with me and he was a complete loser.

He used to make me run him a bath every night using the same bath bubbles his mum used. What? Yeah, this is after he cheated on her, by the way, he sent this letter. Dear Katie, you never gave me anything.

I feel nothing for you now, which is what I've felt for you all this time. You are selfish, hateful, vain, and devoid of anything interesting. Your friends always showed me more warmth than you did, and I showed plenty back to them. Trust me. What an absolute, I hate him.

When I did what I did, you wouldn't even give me the time of day to explain. That was a mistake. Let me know when you've worked that out. Never contact me again unless it's to tell me that you finally understand

how wrong you were about everything. Goodbye, lost soul. What a little grim reaper. Sorry, that sounds like it's written by one of those chatty PT things. That is kind of frightening. That is so bizarre. It's like you put all their backstory into a computer and that's what it spat out as a letter.

It's so weird. If I had a son, you'd be a girl like that. I feel nothing for you. Goodbye, lost soul. I'll tell you this much. If he's saying he feels nothing for you, he feels something for you Goodbye lost soul I'll tell you this much If he's saying he feels nothing for you He feels something for you Not to be confusing you but Yeah

I just don't believe that I just don't believe if anyone was that mean That they Like That they Don't feel anything If you don't feel anything You don't care

You just move on Yeah That's exactly it Screw you You're the lost soul I feel nothing for loser and being bathed in the bubbles that his mum used

red flags bubbly bubbly red flashing neon flags thanks everyone for listening we are actually taking a short two week break

and we'll be back we'll be back with a bang we'll be back with bells on won't we Joanne, in two weeks Bye.