My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "Have I wasted my twenties?"

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

In the last extra instalment before a 2 week break, Vogue has big BAFTA updates after an evening on the red carpet and Joanne has news on her sofa... And it's not good news...If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com/For more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player Original Podcast. Welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Joanne McNally and Queen of the Red Carpet, Vogue Williams. Vogue was at, yeah? Coming live from, well her house now, but was at the BAFTAs yesterday. Did I mention I was at the BAFTAs yesterday? At the film BAFTAs as well, like the really important ones.

Did I mention I was there? No, and I didn't even know you were going until I saw on Insta you were fucking dolled up like a dog stainer in a lift. I know. Well, I don't... She had that under her sleeves. I'm not going to spread rumours,

but I think Bradley Cooper fancies me. Oh, straight in. Okay. Go on. So I was hosting for Ladbible. So you're kind of shouting at famous people, trying to get them to come over and talk to you. And I shouted at Bradley Cooper and I said, hey, Bradley, it's Ladbible Ireland. Looked at me directly in the eyes.

He didn't say a word or come over, but he looked at me in the eyes. So we had a connection. He saw me so shouting and it's very clear to me that that man has game so I'd say and he likes he likes them tall

and blonde he's big into models I know yeah and he's just playing it cool I know he'll be back I know he'll be back I started playing

a scenario in my head last night I was like imagine I saw him in New York and I just pretended to fall or something. He had to pick me up from my fall

and then we got together. That's what I was thinking. Not that, I don't mean to interrupt your fantasy, but is he, is he with Gigi Hadid now? Is that true? Okay,

do you want, like you just don't need, that's like stabbing me in the heart. I don't mean, I don't think that, I don't think that would ruin your chances. I'm just saying. I mean, you could that would ruin your chances. I'm just saying. I mean,

you could, you could take her. I'm just saying it just came to mind. Are they together now? I believe that they are. I think they are together. But he did look me directly in the eye, as I told you.

So they might've broken up since the last time they were photographed together because he definitely had a lot of interest in me for that. Well, point one of a second that he looked. Eye contact from Bradley Cooper. Better do an STI test. You wouldn't know what to get off. I've actually updated the old Instagram

bio. Bradley Cooper made eye contact with me. Hoping for a physical collab with Oh, what happened there? Joe, I'm going to need new headphones. You can tell we're coming to the end of another series. Folks, headphones have just fallen apart

and my mic stand is completely impotent. It's done quite badly. Falling down. It's really gotten bad, that thing. No, Bradley Cooper, like the funny thing

is when you're at the Baptist, when you're doing something like that, you're trying to get people to talk to you. Most people don't want to talk to you

at all, which kind of confuses me because I thought you're there to kind of confuses me because I thought you're there to kind of promote things but I get it like you couldn't be honest um and Bradley didn't speak to anyone but he just waltzed around the red carpet looking he like he is gorgeous in real life he's really tall really handsome and I didn't actually even like his outfit and I could see past the outfit and what was he wearing? He was wearing a strange looking coat.

I don't know. I don't know. He looks like, I don't know. He didn't look great. He looked like a colonel or something. Killian Murphy, as you can imagine, he did, I've never seen someone sprint so quickly through the press area. He doesn't stop.

He doesn't stop. Well, Killian is, he's infamous, isn't he? Like for avoiding all sorts of conversation, press, media, anything that he is contractually obliged to do. And even the stuff he is contractually obliged to do, he never looks like he wants to do it. He always looks like someone has a knife in his back

or a gun to his head. My opening question was going to be, Cillian, how excited are you to leave here? Because he just like doesn't, he won though't he won though he won best actor and he's like he is

like his eyes are so they're like clear blue yeah who else I wrote some stuff down for you because I knew that you'd be interested

Cillian Murphy I saw Cillian Murphy did a lovely spread as they say somewhere recently and it was very it was very

it was very sexy and of the now. And I said, that man's, that man's scrapping back against the young ones. I can, I can feel it. And Killian's like, the little pups are coming up as hell. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no. No, I'll tell you who too.

I'm King Killian. Yeah. Silky shirts. It was all very kind of Riverdance meets Matrix. I liked it. It was a good look. He looks great. I think he's super cool

and super chill. Barry Keoghan didn't see him. He didn't really come and talk to anyone. Barry Barry. Very Barry. That's how we'd imagine

Barry would be. I was raging because I brought him a bottle of Bear by Vogue because I know he's been tanning lately. I don't think you have a colour dark enough

for Barry. Certainly not since they discontinued DHA. We can't go that dark. Barry, I've got a sunbed in the boot. Do you want it? We've got ultra, ultra, ultra dark. We've made a bespoke tan. That's actually against the law.

It's so dark. He just uses all the other brands and that's why he looks so ridiculous. That's why I was going. It's so dark. He just uses all the other brands and that's why he looks so ridiculous. That's why I was going to bring him some real tan, you know? Yeah, you're like, it's streaky, babe. That's a contrapeu.

Oh, two more people I'll tell you about. Marcus Mumford, right? I don't even know if you know him. Mumford and Sons. I know the name. I'm going to need you to Google him. He has had, right?

So the girl that I was working with I was like that's Marcus Mumford like because Carrie Mulligan was there and I was like

that's her husband and she was like no it's not and she googled him she was like that's definitely not him and I was like

he has had the biggest glow up in the whole world that's him and we couldn't believe it he looked like the hottest

man you want me to google it now you will I don't think you'll see the new him google him at the Baptist wait to see how hot he's gone I see this guy now yeah I mean

I don't need a before and after gorgeous gorgeous man yeah kind of I like his glasses kind of looks like Robert Downey Jr she looks fab yeah yeah we're into them last person I spoke to

and she asked me questions too Naomi Campbell Naomi Campbell yeah actually quite she was quite nice she spoke to

kind of everyone she wasn't like running away and I heard someone else asking a question they were like oh how is it to like meet all these famous people

and she's like they're not famous people to me they're just my friends very Naomi I was like wow tell me more Naomi and even she was like

because someone was like I asked her what her morning routine was and she was like well you know how crazy my travel routine is and I was like I love you for that

like she travels so much or she was saying her routine is crazy oh her routine did you not see her like, I love you for that. Like she travels so much or she was saying her routine is crazy. Oh, her routine. Did you not see her in the hazmat suit and everything like during COVID and like she was going

and spraying everything down. Yeah. She strikes me as a germaphobe. But also in fairness to Naomi, she has been humbled. I mean, she's done a lot of community service over the years

for various tantrums that she's had, hasn't she? I'd actually love to know how much community service, at least she went and did it. I'm sure she wouldn't have paid someone else to do it that she's had, hasn't she? I'd actually love to know how much community service, at least she went and did it. I'm sure she wouldn't have paid someone else to do it

if she could have, but she could have. Do you remember she turned up in like a Savorsky gown for one of the community services was picking up rubbish or something and she turned, she was wearing a high-vis vest

over this like floor-length ball gown. I love her. Like, I think she's absolutely brilliant well I wouldn't want to be her assistant no not unless you like

getting a phone to the head that's it like one of my friends at the weekend was saying she's like my child Naomi to me at the weekend and I was like what

and her child threw her phone at her face her child is one threw her phone right at her face she's got a welt under her eye oh god

I know and I was like one I didn't even know they'd have the arm power at that stage they kind of do they can be quite violent I remember T

used to like slam his head back into you and once he gave me this massive nosebleed I thought he'd broken my nose Jesus and so yes

a good day was had it sounds lovely and you looked gorgeous thank you very much now there were some ourselves on the carpet but I'm not going to So yes, a good day was had. It sounds lovely. And you looked gorgeous. Thank you very much. Now, there were some arseholes on the carpet, but I'm not going to mention them by name. Tell me now and then we can just beep them out.

No, you already know who it is. I told you the second I left the carpet. Oh, sorry about that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, there'll be karma there now. It's funny though. It's the least famous people that are not as nice. Do you know why though? This is my theory. We

discussed this last night because they know they're not really supposed to be there. So I think the most dangerous people in the world are people with a very very, what would you say? Huge ego, low self-esteem. They think they want to

look like they belong in these rooms but they obviously aren't secure enough to feel like they do so they act like a dick basically everyone's just projecting I know but you know what I like I wouldn't even did I belong in that room probably not did I care no I was absolutely thrilled to be there that being able to golem and stuff I was talking to golem you were there doing a job that's a different pose do you know what I mean you're I'd much You were there doing a job. That's a different buzz. Do you know what I mean? I'd much rather be there doing a job because you're not standing around like a plank. You're like, I'm here to do a job. I was standing around

like a plank last year and I was thrilled. Remember? Oh yeah. I loved being a plank. It was great. Well look, whatever you do is right in my eyes. You can be a plank or you can do a job, whatever. Yeah, whatever.

You look great. You had a really good time. Vote for president. You'll be in the White House next. You can be president. I'd rather be vice president. No, actually, I'll be president because the president doesn't do anything. You can be vice president who actually does stuff.

Yes, I'm just the face of an organisation exactly yeah once I have to be up at this ungodly hour what time is it now it's still 9am what time do you wake up at honestly naturally I keep saying I work nights but sure I haven't

done anything in three I haven't stood on stage in a month but I keep saying I work nights but like if I have to if I have to do a job at 9am all night all the day before and all night I'm like oh my god

I have to go to bed I was in bed last night at 9 o'clock and I obviously stayed up till 12 but I panic I don't know why it's like it's weird I've just

I've broken it's like when you're young or if you're in an office job or you're in a 9 to 5 job you're just body clock just adjusting you just get used to always get waking up

I've been out of that clock for so long that 9am to me is like it's barbaric it's like it's yeah it's like the fear I get if I go

like if it's 11 o'clock and I haven't gotten into bed I'm like oh Jesus my whole my week is off kilter yeah I'll never catch up yeah

but like I my alarm went off at 8.50 and I was like ahhh she wakes herself at 8.20 and then I snoozed again

but you didn't really snooze it's pointless doing the 10 minute snooze you're not going to get anything extra from that tell my eyes tell my eyes because they shut

right back down like it's bizarre I yesterday took myself out out on those days where I woke up I went to the gym yeah and I left honestly eight minutes in do you know when you're like I don't know if this has ever happened to you but you go and you're like not it's not today today's just not the day it's just not the day it's a hundred percent and like

that means your body is just saying to you no do you know what I need to have a rest you need to have a rest you need to rest again rest more

go back to bed well while you were at the BAFTAs I went on a terrible date what yeah it wasn't my own I was sat beside a couple

who were having one of the worst dates I've ever heard and I had to listen to it and it was so shit I asked to leave early oh god I honestly

I was kind of engrossed at the start the date was so shit I was like I'm leaving I'm walking out of this date it's so shit I wanted to go up to them

and be like guys there's no spark here like we need to wrap this up don't waste your time he was talking about his macros it was like an interview and he's like and what kind of food do you eat during the week would you be do you eat healthy or oh stop yeah and then he kind of slyly admitted admitted that he'd been married and she was like what he's like yeah i just i thought it was something better to tell face

to face we split last year and he's talking about he's giving up the drink and i just it was and i'm not saying just because he's giving up the drink but honestly I was like I wanted to kind of say to her run this is the shittest date I've ever been on and I've been on some shit dates you can't throw in

an old marriage and giving up the drink at the same time it's far too much it's too much to take on board and I thought it was on him because I was like

I felt obviously I have a natural allegiance to her and I was like he's really this is a really shit date He's bringing nothing to the table But then I'm sorry now

To the sisterhood But she started talking I was like Jesus Christ She's no better What was she saying? Well I eat a lot of blueberries They're good for mental health

I was like Okay I'm out of here Good luck Oh Christ I don't think I'd last five minutes In the dating scene these days Honestly I think you'd do okay

I find people too annoying To be honest Honestly I just would be okay I find people too annoying to be honest honestly I just would be like no if someone started talking to me about macros or something I just I couldn't I find that level of conversation so dull and there are so many dull people oh my god I was like I'm I'm gonna need some smelling salts to keep me going for this date it was so shit and obviously I wanted to hear and I was hoping it would pick up but I've just never seen such a

it was just asking each other questions there was I guess that's kind of what dating is it is like an interview really but there was certainly

no spark or rapport that I felt it was like a job interview but it was I don't know what the job the job to be his girlfriend

and it's a role that nobody wants I wouldn't like I wouldn't be able to go on a traditional date like that like I know it sounds really immature but I'd need to go out and get like pretty pissed and try like because even people that I've gone on date dates with I'm like I've and I've been on actually very few dates because obviously I've been married most of my life um and so like the dates that I have been on they've started sober but thankfully they didn't end sober

because some of the people were such dopes that I just would have been like oh my god stop talking I think if you're doing a lot of dating it turns into

you kind of just start doing the quick coffee goes because you don't want to give a night out to all of them you know and it's easier to do like i have friends who

were dating loads at the time and they just were like i'll meet you for coffee i'll meet you for coffee and they basically just did a drive by and they'd meet them for a coffee and if there was anything going then they'd meet them for maybe a longer dinner or whatever but like you can't go out with them all because it's actually it's too expensive as well i know somebody who just resorted to going for walks in the park because he was like, it's costing me too much money to go on all these dates that aren't working out.

I know. And there's all the etiquette around it. There was a girl posting at the weekend about she went on a date with, it's an Irish girl, went on a date with an Irish guy and she said it was shit

but he insisted on paying. She said she'd meet him again and then when he texted her, she was working so she didn't get back straight away. And then within an hour or two, he'd sent her a request on Revolut for 80 euro to cover her part.

Because he said, you clearly don't intend to see me again, so I'd like to be picked. Oh my God. Oh, I met a girl who listens to the pod yesterday because I meet people like that and she came up to me and she goes

Vogue well done and I was like what? and she's like you've gotten much funnier in the last two years well done when you tell a joke

I'm like go on Vogue well done Vogue good job Vogue you're like thank you so much I was like thank you I have been practicing my funny

for your for your kind of well-meaned patronising support which is how you describe that I took it as a compliment

of course I fucking take it I love when people tell me shit like that I'm like thank you so much I met a girl on when was it

last week as I was trotting through clapping with my harness and I had the headphones on full blast, of course. And you know the way

I'm very jumpy anyway because I have an overactive fascia. And she stopped me and she's like, Joanne, and I nearly jumped, I nearly went through the window

of a flower shop. I was like, ah! And she goes, oh my God, I've been waiting to see you and clap them in your harness. I was like, my god I've been waiting to see you in Clapham in your harness

I was like thank you so much I'll pass that on I've been waiting to see you in Clapham in your harness I can't wait to see you in said harness

you'll see me I did see it on the stories and to say I got the ick is an understatement we might have to bring back the icks front page

of the Clapham Gazette I'll be there I'm waiting till you get the water bottle that you put your hand through when you have the bring back the icks. Front page of the Clapham Gazette. I'll be there. I'm waiting till you get the water bottle that you put your hand through when you have the harness and the water bottle and the leg weights will be back on. I won't need to put a hand through my water bottle because the water bottle goes in the harness, Vogue.

Educate yourself. Do better. Well, I'm just glad you're not going to get dehydrated on your 15 minute run. 15's a stretch now to be honest three minute bursts this fucking couch ah listen

I like it stresses me the fuck out did you send it back I got a call it's at no point sending it back at this stage I got a call to say

that it's delivered it'll be delivered this week curbside which means they just they just basically the van slows down

as it passes your house and they just throw it out on the side of the road and the van simply leaves and it's still in the pallets and it's a module couch so six separate pieces

and I was there to your one and she's like look I know it's not. This is just all we do. We just have the contract. It's not up to us. It's the company themselves. They're called Vetsac.

If I can strongly recommend no one buy anything from them. They've been a joke. They've never applied to a single email that I've sent them several emails questioning like delivery times. Oh my God. I'd send it back you're mad not to send it back I can't even return a 20 quid dress

I'm certainly not going to manage to return seven or six pallets to Germany oh god it's never going to happen and then I I DM'd them then

asking them a question about the couch because I bought it off Insta never looked at it never replied like it's the worst it's so fucking bad I can't

and it like as I say it's it was a. It's so fucking bad. I can't, like as I say, it's, it was a, it was a big purchase for me. This isn't like a cheap purchase. You know, this is a very big purchase.

It's actually probably the most expensive thing I bought for the flat. Okay. Well, I'm just going to get a reply from them. And then they tell me that the delivery is curbside. And you're ones like, they should tell you that themselves, but they don't. But so it's up to us to tell you

we're a freight company we're not a delivery company if I was you I would honestly I'd send it back I think you're mad not to send it back it's too much money

they're not even sending it to you you have to pay all that import fees you must be fucking crazy but the VAT you have to pay VAT once it hits the ground it's your job to pay VAT on it

there's no the VAT's been paid now I was about to send you this girl's story because there's a girl who is selling her couch that is exactly like yours. It's secondhand

and it looks great and I know, but you've after going and doing that now and I just don't know, I just, I actually sent, no,

I sent you it and then I took it back. I sent the mail and I unsent it to you because I was like, she'll be too upset. Okay, well we do list her emails.

Let's go. Yeah, let's do it. Hi, Joanna Vogue. I'm 28 and in a bit of never-ending loop in my head. I'd love your advice.

I've been with my boyfriend. Wow, I've been with my boyfriend seven years. We met when I was 20 and I was completely infatuated with him. We had an on-off relationship for a few years

and then made it official after a lot of games on both sides, mostly his. Fast forward eight years and we're very happy in a strong relationship and I love him a lot.

But there's a part of me that wonders if I've wasted my 20s and should have explored and had a little more fun. Yes, you should have. That would be my take on it straight away.

In the nicest way possible. I feel exactly the same like I honestly feel like I should have had sex with like maybe 15 20 more people yeah and it's not just it's not just the sex it's just about life and experience mainly the sex now maybe for yeah okay for me now it'd be more just about like sex is great is great. No, don't get me wrong. I know, but I had... But it's been tied down to one person for when you're, as you grow up and grow into

whoever you're going to be. Like, you change who you are. I'm a different person than when I was 20, and I'm 30, and I'll be a different person at 60 and 50. You change all the time. Oh, I know. Okay, let me finish.

I wonder if he's the one, as friends around me start getting engaged, child brides, and having babies. Does this nagging feeling mean I should think about breaking up with him or does this happen in every relationship? Would love to know your thoughts. I think, oh God, this is,

I don't want to break up a relationship, but I think 28 is so young. And if you're unsure, you don't want to like up a relationship, but I think 28 is so young. And if you're unsure, you don't want to like, like jump into getting married, like some other people here on this pod, Joe. But honestly,

honestly, like I, I feel like I kind of, I would say I had a nagging feeling in a couple of relationships and, and I didn't like listen to myself and I just went on in these relationships when actually you need to go out and have fun like I remember when I broke up from my marriage I was like great I'm 30 I'm never gonna have kids I'm never gonna meet anyone and I genuinely thought that but I was like you know what I feel better about that than I do about

staying with somebody for the sake of it I think it's so hard because there's nothing wrong with your relationship. You're really happy. So why would you walk away from a happy relationship? But then at the same time, she, you know, obviously there's a side of you that knows that there's more to life than being with the same person from when you're 20. But then like I have friends who did that and they're very happy. So I don't know. It just wouldn't have been for me. I can only talk about what I need and I would need, I need change, you know? And that's a very, that's a big part of your life

that's very consistent. But then that's probably very comforting that you have this person that you're with all the time. But yeah, I don't know. I mean, it'd be lovely if you could just leave someone on ice for a little bit, wouldn't it?

If you could just be like, pause. Can we just pause this for a little bit? Three years, three years. But if it's meant to be be it won't pass you by so just keep that in mind I don't obviously I don't like I'm not gonna I don't need to go and have sex with other people I'm joking but in a way I feel like as you're saying an experience and like maybe going out and being a bit more worldly like before I got married and settled down would have been like quite fun I know and so it is about sex again

she's brought it back to sex again yeah I think it's a really tough one because you're obviously happy with them but there's something in you

that there's a little niggling in your cell that says maybe there's more to this life than marrying this person I've been with since I was 20 years of age

and there is but it's whether you actually kind of go through with that or not yeah some people are the kind of people that want to get married at that age

and stay married at that age and some people just want to go out and have a little exploration there's a couch uh oh

I have a man coming to take away the rubbish why is someone coming to take away the rubbish because I have so many boxes from Caroline and everything that they need to go.

Oh, okay. Wow. Anyway. You're well able to organise shit. You've got someone coming to take away your rubbish. Get someone to come and take away your couch. Work on that today. I'm telling you.

I've sent you one on Insta. You're getting a different couch. Just to finish on the couch. I was going to, I didn't know what I was going to do. And who steps in? Who's our superhero forward slash father figure stop I feel Kevin Carey

I don't know how he hasn't punished us I don't know he's like Joanne Osworth I was like oh my god I was busy googling man with a van I was going to send

someone to get it and bring it back and blah blah blah I think this podcast is sponsored by Caroline it's kind of ridiculous at this stage

we've been infiltrated I feel like he's groomed us we talk about him all the time it's embarrassing sponsored by Caroline. It's kind of ridiculous at this stage. We've been infiltrated. I feel like he's groomed us. We talk about him all the time. It's embarrassing. I actually can't stop talking about him. I talk about him about four times a week.

Honestly. You do. Sometimes, Jo, remember, sometimes in the pod we're like, Vogue, stop. You can't talk about Kevin again.

Don't worry. I've started talking about him on Spencer and Vogue instead. It used to be the Kardashians used to reign you in. Now it's Caroline moving company. We're like, Vogue, please. Are we on a break now?

We are, everyone. We are on a two week break. We're back on the 8th of March. And everyone, don't forget, Spenny and I are on tour. We're going over to Belfast. We are back on the 8th of March. And everyone, don't forget, Spenny and I are on tour. We're going over to Belfast. We are in two nights in Dublin and we are doing Cork

and we're doing Dubai, if anyone's listening to it from Dubai. We're going to be there. We're very excited. you