My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "He Did A Wheelie."

Episode Date: January 5, 2022

Here's your first extra helping of the New Year, where Vogue & Joanne polish up the last parts of seasonal catch up and look ahead to what's next... More dating? Horses? Who knows!?If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

hello and welcome to an extra helping of my therapist ghosted me with me bo williams and joanne mcnally in these extra episodes we take a look at your emails and cover any additional grounds that we might have missed in the friday episode i'd actually like to do a whole episode of you just reading stuff i love listening to you reading well actually i am good like i do i can i can read well we are all keen to hear your dick moves spoofers i want to bring back spoofer uh your x and your deb story so send them in all to hello at mtgmpod.com I have to say, I'm not really for people's laziness over Christmas. There's a strong possibility it's from my own jealousy, but people posting pictures at five o'clock in pyjamas

that they haven't gotten out of drinking wine is unacceptable to me. But when you have kids,mas is just all about them then do you want do you know i had a lion i had one lion the last um month now till and guess what my lion was until eight eight eight that was my lion but folk you go to bed so early like if you didn't get out of bed at eight you'd be you'd be not you'd be like a 24 hour sleep cycle excuse me do you want i have been up till 10 o'clock at night over here living at large right because i basically got stuck in so intensely over christmas this morning it all hit me and I had one of those wild dreams like sleep paralysis dreams where oh no you're like trapped in your body trying to blink to someone

to like wake you up slap you across the face it was horrible they're the worst I hate that how much sleep did you get last night my favorite question I don't actually know I don't track it you would have had a great sleep last night it was all it was a real sweaty weird sleep and then i woke up and i knew i was dreaming but i couldn't open my eyes and blah blah blah i was listening to a documentary about egypt so then i thought i was getting buried in the tomb it was just it was just a disaster so i need to kind of tonight you should go to you should go to bed just listen to white noise then you'd wake up to nothingness i know but i don't know if that is effective for me. I need to be told a story like a child.

I know, but you're not falling asleep properly. I've told you this. If you're listening to that, you're not falling asleep properly. You're listening to that and you're listening to it the whole night long and not actually sleeping. I know, you're absolutely right. I wanted to tell you about some news. Now, I know that you have been a really selfish, greedy bitch

and you didn't watch Selling Sunset, but that's your own loss. But I did want to touch on the fact that Chrishell and Jason broke up. Did you see that in the news? You really just don't care. I know Vogue really wants me to care. It's like when I send you shit about Alice Evans.

You don't react for me. You won't react the way I want you to react. I have given you so much energy. This will show you I'm react for me. You won't react the way I want you to react. I have given you so much energy. This will show you I'm a better friend. I have given you so much energy on Alice. We've spoken about her like two or three times on the pod. You and I catch up about her outside of the pod. I can't give you much more than that.

And you won't even be involved in the fact that Chrishell and your man broke up. No, because I'm too busy reading the poetry that alice evans is now writing on twitter about how she's vomiting and crying on the ground like it's absolutely horrific i cannot is she still going she's at the acceptance stage that's what she said she's like i accept now that you're in love with her and i accept that you would do anything to protect your relationship because you're mad about each other and I accept that. You don't care about me anymore. I accept.

Oh God. I know. Imagine how happy she'll be when they break up because let's be honest, they'll break up. But I'm so impressed that she's already at the acceptance part.

I still have hangups for lads. I haven't accepted lads I broke up with when I was 14. I'm like, you're still a c**t. Yeah, there's a few. There is a few that I'd be like that with still though. Oh, big time. Look at me. Sorry, I'm not, you're still a c**t. Yeah, there is a few that I'd be like that with still though. Oh, big time.

Look at me. Sorry, I'm not into Alice Evans. I'm actually going to go through all her tweets for you. Theodore had a, Theodore, right over Christmas, my brother was there. So we were spending loads of time with my brother. And he took tea out to see this Santa thing. But it was like five o'clock at night. And I was like, oh, it's fine.

It's just one night. So he's in McDonald's with tea for his first ever McDonald's at eight o'clock at night Theodore goes to bed at seven he arrives home delighted with himself I thought he'd be wrecked he was home by about quarter past nine I'm thinking oh my god how is he doing this well the next day honestly it was like a banshee was living in the house it was one of the worst experiences of my entire life I don't know if it was the McDonald's or if it was the a banshee was living in the house it was one of the worst experiences of my entire life i don't know if it was the mcdonald's or if it was the staying up late it was on that i cried that day that was my christmas kind of like crying sometimes just crying into a sponge feeling overwhelmed just crying into a little

chair for an hour okay crying into my brillo pads i was oh let's let's address the brillo pads fair play for making that work because when we'd when you when you brought that brillo patch and you were like i think i might be doing some work with brillo pads i was like really but you were very sensible you were like i have to make it funny it has to be a bit ridiculous. And you nailed it. So good for you. The thing about it is, like, I'll only work with things that I actually use.

But I knew people would go for me over the Brillo pads. Like, all my mates text me about it and stuff. And I was like, guys, like, I have Brillo pads in my house. I use the Brillo pads. But then trying to, like, but then the amount of people were like, does your sister really use them as a makeup brush? I'm like, no, she doesn't use a Brillo pads but then trying to like but then the amount of people were like does your sister really use them as a makeup brush I'm like no she doesn't use

a Brillo pad as a makeup brush obviously and the thing about Brillo pads what was quite sound about them like they're not

trying to sell Brillo pads because they sell so many Brillo pads they just wanted to get some Instagram followers okay you've done

the plugging that's enough they've gotten your Instagram page they're not having the podcast okay they're not having the podcast okay they're not having the podcast fine

Brillo pad's done plugging is done anyway I was crying I was crying I was crying into my Brillo pad now I'll be honest

we actually had a nice Christmas and I loved low-key time with them and it's it's actually very lovely you haven't posted any photos of my

favorite horse no or are you just blocking me from that content because you think I'd be having a go at myself over a horse which is what half of Instagram think apparently Joanne you brought the horse shit on yourself okay I didn't even I was gonna post a picture with the horses the other day and I was like I'm just gonna get hundreds of males being like oh watch out Joanne will see that she loves a horse though she does I've been sending her private messages

of Mino and she actually follows him on Instagram Mino the Friesian has she got an Instagram account? don't say you don't follow him she have you seen the size of that thing under him? he has an Instagram account I'm fucking adding him now that I've heard that come here Joanne.

Did you go on that date with your man? I didn't. Now, I have an interesting question that I'd like people to answer. If you match with a guy and you're messaging quite a lot, actually, and you're arranging to go on dates with him, but then I checked his profile because someone was like, oh, show man that you're talking about and he's so and then I was keeping an eye he's been basically updating his profile his dating profile photos pretty much every day and I'm like do I it's just I think it's a bit of a red flag hey how many women are you messaging

at the moment and I know you haven't met yet but i still it's fuck boy vibes for me i feel like that's an intelligent thing to do i think that you should always be messaging quite a few people at the same time if you put all your eggs in one basket you get too obvious too attached it's not gonna happen you've got i told you this before you have to message at least three different people the man is clearly living on hinge like they should be charging him rent he's on it so much he's changed his photos so regularly it's weird it's not a good sign it's a red flag and as part of my new leaf i look i acknowledge red flags now you acknowledge red flags and then you go and collect them is what you like no i used to

collect oh i'll take him i used to collect them he's very drawn to them I love color I was just like I think that's a bit odd that you're still doing that like you're changing them so much I've never even met the lad I don't know like I've never even met him I just it kind of just gave me a weird ding ding ding it made me feel completely irrelevant if you know that kind of way I reckon that he's kind of mad about himself. Maybe he's so many pictures that he loves himself. I bet if you took his phone and went through his favorites, it would be like 6,000 favorite pictures. I know a few people that would definitely do something like that.

Really? Come on, think of somebody that would. But I just, I don't know. I was going to meet him. I was totally going to meet him. And then the third photo, because then I was obsessed with going in being like how many times and then it was getting to it was just getting ridiculous I was like this is a fucking carousel every day it's a new collage so I was like nah I think after your gigs in Ireland that

we need to like oh fuck I keep forgetting I'm pregnant as well damn it i am so up for dating at the moment it's wild like i'm mad about it like i am like a dog in heat at the moment like i went for lunch with my friend nora and she was basically like can you like look at me like i don't it was like man woman dog child i was like is he hot she hot is that hot she's like joanna it's a bin is it hot is that bin hot that bin's hot i thought it's kind of hot nope i'm probably pre-man store that's what happened i think this is a great place for you to be 100 norah was giving me advice she was like you need to go on tinder and literally only match exclusively with the men who only show their torsos the nose oh no you couldn't have a prawn there are no

strings attached then you turn up and it's a prawn no i don't yeah i mean the torso isn't necessarily the real deal i'm sure there's a couple of like curveballs in there one girl messaged me actually and she was saying that she matched with a fruit salad because she was actually just so pissed off that he was using a fruit salad as a picture so she matched with him and then just was like what's the point of you being on here like why are you she was at the end of her tether but she was like why are you using a photo of a fruit salad anyway he was like i just have a really high job i don't know we worked for the cia or something i can't remember anyway he was like i can't be on dating apps they went out for three or four years she said

it was an absolute ride millionaire so So I was going straight through going, where are the fucking fruit salads? So now only going to match with fruit salads and topless torsos with no head. And torsos. Yeah. That's what I want. Joanne, it's a dangerous game.

You could get. I know a girl who matched with a guy, one of the no strings torsos, and now they're living together. That's a load of bollocks. That's a load of bollocks that's a lot of bollocks I feel like that's an urban myth

I heard it from the horses horses mates hey Joanne and Vogue thought I'd share the most unique overwhelming ick I've ever experienced was seeing a lad

for a couple of weeks when he took it upon himself to do a wheelie on his bike as we left his house the morning after the date. He was 25. After the incident, I awkwardly smiled as he cycled a little bit into the distance. He's now my boyfriend, take it that what you will. Someone else actually, a girl messaged me saying her ick was when a guy was coming into her house, he was coming into her hallway and he couldn't get the bike in

and the wheels kept hitting the wall. And she'd been totally up for riding him up to that point, but she was like seeing him struggle so badly with the bike. She was like, it's not going to happen, mate. It's over. Yeah. I couldn't. The wheelie thing, Sue,

the wheelie thing might impress me a little bit. I have to be honest. I don't know about this email, but I'm going to read it out anyway and let me know what you think. Hi ladies, just a quick one. I've kept bottled up for years.

Took a bloke home who was mates with a colleague's boyfriend, thought he was sane. Plays rugby, English, boring, but good for one night. Quite tactile and affectionate as the evening went on,

so wasn't expecting what happened. Got back to mine for a ride and halfway through some fairly average missionary, he asked me to slap him in the face so i did then out of nowhere he slapped me back turns out he's into it not sure what this fetish is called but it's a no from me p.s in the morning he asked me to go to breakfast but both of our faces were so red i thought better not listen i'm all about the kink i totally get it i'm not going to king shame but if you're going to punch me in the face give me a heads up like you can't

just punch me in the face like i might i might be okay i might be okay yeah you have to you have to ask there needs to be remember playing that game slaps slaps when you were younger do you remember that and you used to you used to literally put your hands together and you slap each other in the face really fast and if you missed it was the other person's turn I'm sore like I don't know

I just don't think slapping it's like if someone was giving me a Chinese burn during sex I just don't get it no I wouldn't be into that but I feel like I'm going to be

one of those people that turns into like the Fifty Shades of Grey person oh my god you're going to set up a red room in Jersey Jo she's up with this she's off again.

We've discussed this several times. That you're getting fucking changed to a radiator in Jersey. We know. We know. We know. I think it's going to happen. I'll take you of a tour of the room when it's finished. It's only going to be

a small room. I assume you're going to get it all for free so you're going to have to tag them all in it anyway so we'll fully see what you have thanks and some words for the butt plug i love it yeah gag man what is it the gag ball in your mouth just like tags collab collab i'm actually going to get the full gimp suit and take some pictures in it hashtag gifted spencer is dressed like a big baby you're like hey sexy time with hubby hashtag glad hashtag sexy babies also we'll have a few things to worry about when he walks in the next time spence would be in a nappy getting breastfed

there we have it that's all from this extra helping of my therapist goes with me so definitely do keep sending your emails to hello at mtgmpod.com we'll be back with the full episode on friday goodbye Bye.