My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "He is obsessed..."

Episode Date: March 20, 2024

This week, Joanne was on her way to the Irish Embassy and Vogue did a drunk post on Instagram. GOLD. Plus, an email about a married fella obsessed with a female colleague at work... CLASSIC.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player Original Podcast. you don't need to do that by the way this is not a requirement appreciate it we'll cut it obviously I was just about to say that when the edit comes we'll cut it down it's fine we'll cut it down cut yourself out Jo just remember to cut yourself out there

please I did something I haven't done in years I did an Insta story absolutely deranged last night and I know

I missed it well did you take it down no I did I took it down this morning because even my mum was like are you take it down? No, I did. I took it down this morning because even my mum was like, are you okay? How's the head?

And I was like, oh sweet Jesus. The story behind it is even more magnificent. So I got asked to DJ at the Cheltenham Festival, which by the way, we should go for a whole day.

One year, it's so much crack. And by the time I got there, everyone's absolutely blue buzz. And it's even more crack. And so I got down got down there honestly I walked in the door at half five I left at seven completely deranged I also was on stage by the way so I was only I had three drinks but I didn't have dinner I had three small little glasses of champagne and I was hammered I couldn't actually believe it but they were all so much crack. I can believe it.

It's your own fault for never laying the foundations like me and Jo have. It's your own fault. Because I was like, how am I? And everyone was like, how's your head this morning? And I was like, well it's actually fine because I didn't drink that much. But I and then. It's like you're walking into the lab in Wuhan with no

vaccine. That's what it's like going to Cheltenham and you're not a drinker. You're going to fucking fall at the first hurdle no and I know and someone mailed me this morning I was like well you'd want to see me at the end of an actual night when I've actually gone and hit it hard I'm unbearable to be around also they do say champagne

is particularly drunk inducing because of the bubbles I just don't know I'm sure it's the, it couldn't be the bubbles it has to be the alcohol but anyway I'm trying to do you a favour there's just no, there's no helping me but yesterday I felt like crying

because like I'd come from Derry it was a five and a half hour journey and then I had to travel two and a half hours to Cheltenham and I was like grand I got home, saw the kids for a bit, I had to go to Cheltenham and then on the way back I was with my manager's assistant who was helping me. And she, we had, we decided that we're going to drop me home first because like I had been in the car literally all day, traveling all day.

And we told the driver like three times. And then I was like, I was kind of working away in the car because I'm doing a gig for St. Patrick's Day and I was doing loads I was kind of working away in the car because I'm doing a gig for St. Patrick's Day and I was doing loads of Irish music. And I mean, Mark McCabe, Maniac, is just one of the best songs I've ever heard.

Ah, yeah. So, so I wasn't really looking where he was going. He dropped, he went the wrong way, dropped Alessia Offerst. And so to add to my then three hour journey, I had to add another hour.

I didn't get home till 11 o'clock and I was like I feel like crying I'm not sure what to do because this anger has to go somewhere I know Did you hit him? Yes I did I don't have any luck with drivers and I always feel really conscious of calling someone a driver but like

that's their name It is, Driver MacDrivey, that's their full blown name Driver MacBeep We don't need to know about their personal lives, Driver MacBeep What's their name? It is. Driver McDrivey. That's their full-blown name. Driver McBeep. Driver McBeep. We don't need to know about their personal lives. Driver McBeep.

Yeah. Driver. It's a very, before he started doing bits of tally, I had this idea of a driver kind of that you'd be picked up in a stretch limo. Yeah, with a hat.

With some guy in a tux and everything. Yeah. Where's the driver? Well, in fairness, they do dress well, in fairness to them. They really do. It must be a nightmare

trying to keep your shirt uncreased sitting like in a car I think that's tough work the biggest disappointment I ever had like talk about

reading the room incorrectly was when I was doing maybe it was Captain Ryan's show on Amazon the stand up show and I was coming back

from Edinburgh to do it for the Fringe and they were like we're going to pick you up with a limo bike a limo bike do you remember the limo bike oh and I was coming back from Edinburgh to do it for the Fringe and they were like we're going to pick you up with a limo bike a limo bike do you remember the limo bike

oh yeah I love them yeah and I was like oh and they're like we'll get you to the record on time and I was like oh my god

this is fucking like Annika Rice this is so thrilling and I don't know what I was expecting I think I genuinely expected to turn up and there'd be like

a sidecar that was like like a little limo and that he would be kind of full dicky bow top hat tails and we would like whiz through the traffic

quite regally do you know what I mean like a regal event that's not what I was that's not at all it was just a lad in a motorbike just like fucking

delivered me like a Chinese I just like hopped off the bike of my day I know and then you have to straddle on to somebody that you don't know and it's a bit

it's a bit awkward like when I did I had to skydive once. I'll never do it again. Because like, you literally, you meet some man and then you have to sit in his lap for 20 minutes when you go up. And I'm just... Oh, really? Yeah, you sit in your lap.

Oh, I wouldn't like that now. I'd find that very uncomfortable. I remember one time, remember that story I've told you? Could you not, can we not lie on our side? And I'd rather spoon than actually, like if you we not lie on our side I'd rather spoon than actually like if you're obviously attached to him I'd rather spoon

on the ground of the plane than sit on a lap yeah and for 20 minutes you're on the lap and I don't like sitting on Santa's lap either I don't think that's done anymore

thankfully but back when we were younger you used to go and sit on Santa's knee and you'd just be like they'd never let a child sit on a man's lap now would they no thank god no one wants to sit on Santa's lap but that'd just be like They'd never let a child sit in a man's lap now would they? No thank god

No one wants to sit in Santa's lap But that guy, that skydive guy I don't mean to be maybe this is very condescending Joe you can answer you being the voice of men I know where you're going with this What if he got a boner?

Thanks Joe I know that sounds very primal but what does he do? What if he got a boner? Thanks, Jo. Yeah, I know that sounds very primal, but that's bound to happen. Does he kind of... What does he do? Just manifest impotency before he goes off? What happens, Jo? Well, I think...

I heard you can get them anywhere, like on a bus and everything. I think that they make the skydiving suits so ugly. Disgusting. So they dull you down. So there's no way that he'd get a boner looking at you. Yeah. It's really nice that you said that.

If it did happen, the custom is to submit a formal written apology. Or you pull it up the other way and put it in the top of your jeans. So you pull it upwards Yeah, you tuck it. Tuck and tie. Tuck it up.

If I was a man, my dick would be so big it would just be like going up to my nose if I tucked it up. I know I'd have a big dick if I was a man my dick would be so big it would just be like going up to my nose if I tucked it up I know I'd have a big dick if I was a man you would big dick big dick vibes

what did you say Jo? no one's doubting that no one's doubting that I think you've spoken about I think your pretend dick is a reoccurring theme on this podcast you've seen it

it's magnificent stop sending me your dick pics For fuck's sake I'm a grown woman Over it Need to grow up For God's sake

Here you're going And I might go But I don't know If I'll make it You're going to the Irish Embassy Tonight Going to the Irish Embassy I'm cutting the ribbon

On Ireland tonight Jo Cutting the ribbon on Ireland You have been selected I've been selected Yep I mean they'll invite Anyone to come on Jo Jesus Christ They will yeah Yeah But in London The Irish Embassy selected I've been selected yeah I mean they'll invite anyone Ireland's favourite Furby Jesus Christ

they will yeah but in London the Irish embassy in London the real Irish embassy they invite all the Irish Irish people in London they could have chosen

they'll all be there Jo trust me this isn't a one on one it's not like ding dong oh do you want to come in it's like a place setting this is

it sounds like a session really but yeah they do yeah it's nice there I really. But, yeah, they do, yeah, it's nice there. I've only been once, but like, they did,

they used to do a New Year's Eve event. They did one before. Good God. I really lost the run of myself that time. I was asked to be the,

is it the drill sergeant for Patrick's Day? And you were asked to do the parade? Yes. Stop it. and you said no I'm not around I have to say no

oh Joanne that is like that is that's the pinnacle of your career to be asked to do the the parade the parade so basically they just drive you through town

and you wave and stuff and I assume get assassinated at the end like JFK oh I think that is amazing isn't it tell them I'm free Tell them I'm free. Tell them I'm free.

I'm free. It was a whole thing like you go in the morning, you've breakfasted with someone important in Irish politics. I can't remember. It could be Leo Michael,

Bertie, one of them. And then they put you in the car, roof down. And I was like, oh, was there a blimp? Like, am I going to be like flying around the place?

That's fascinating. Yeah. I cannot believe usually like I'm like, I get your droppings or you might get my droppings. They didn't drop to me. I usually get yours.

No, it's an equal amount of shit droppings. Yeah, you're right. Now it's probably a bit more 50-50. But yeah, you should apply. Show interest. I'll do it next year. If they're looking for someone next year, yes, I will do it.

I'm free, available. It's a bit late now I'm sure speaking of Irish politics have you heard about the bust up between Louis Walsh and Jadward oh my god

Jo have you heard no I haven't have you not heard how have you not heard about that I'm so busy oh well it's not really a bust up

because Louis doesn't know what's happened so basically Louis is in there so I was sitting in bed minding my own business and a girl who follows me sent me the link

to Gemma Collins' stories and she's like check this out and I love getting fed information like that it's fab I miss nothing then

I miss nothing it's all the intel that comes into the DMs and then I feed it out again yeah it's like a whole system I love it anyway Gemma Collins they were videoing

Louis Walsh is in Celebrity Big Brother as we know and him and Sharon Osbourne have done nothing but slag everyone off and there's apparently like solicitors

and gag orders going into place and they're calling Anna Wintour a c*** and James Corden a name dropper no information that surprises anyone really

oh I saw them slagging Adele as well they slagged Adele that she fakes her accent wasn't that it? Yeah, that she's not actually, I don't know what they're suggesting. She's French.

They're saying she's not that London, basically. She's not like, what? What? That that's not actually how she speaks. And actually she's like kind of more Princess Diana vibes. But anyway, someone asked Louis about Jedward.

And Louis, who, I mean, he's bitter. Like he's been, he's bitter. He's a bitter man. And he said Jedward, and he I mean he's bitter like he's been he's bitter he's a bitter man and he said Jedward and he's like they're vile and then he said yeah and he said I made five million off them and he honestly sounded like a fucking sex trafficker it was

gross anyway Jedward and are in Gemma's having a roast the youth at half nine at night which I've also found for half nine youth at half nine at night which I've also found half nine at night half nine at night and God loved them they hadn't touched their food

they hadn't touched their dinner joke because they were so upset about what they'd heard said about themselves so anyway they fucking snapped back Jedward clapped back Gemma filmed them

and they clapped back and John and Edward you know I'm gonna say I don't have a fucking clue which is which and I don't know if anyone does and I don't think it's important

I don't even know which is which they don't know they don does and I don't think it's important I don't even know which is which they don't know they don't they really don't and they were saying all this shit like they're like

all your acts hate you Louis Ronan Keating Girls Alive Westlife they all hate you you're vile you're vile

their mother died and he's like he didn't even send us flowers when our mother died she didn't send flowers or anything and they're like you made us pay 70 grand to your publicist who we didn't even know they didn't

do anything for them basically like you had nothing to do with our career simon kyle did it simon kyle made you who you are you are you have nine lives you shouldn't exist anymore blah blah blah blah and then they took to twitter i mean sometimes you just listen i i i have spent time with louis Walsh and actually he's quite fun to be around what I will say is he's definitely

if he knows anything about you everybody will know like he is he's very much like that he's very cutthroat and I'd say he's one of those people

that like when you're with him he's really sound when you're not with him he'd probably fucking take you down oh yeah I don't see the point

of doing that of creating animosity with anybody like I just I can't stand it point of doing that of creating animosity with anybody like I just I can't stand it they're sick of everyone's shit they're jaded they're

they're working with like the talent as they say like actors and famous people and Hollywood people I mean

of course they're assholes but Sharon and Louis you're also assholes like you're all assholes everyone's an asshole everyone's an asshole do you know what that is honestly why you've got moments as well yeah can an asshole. Everyone's an asshole. Do you know what?

That is honestly why. You've got moments as well. Yeah. Can I be honest? That's why I wouldn't want to have any famous friends. I'm sorry. You're my only famous friend. Someone asked me that the other day. They were like,

well, do you have any famous friends who'd want to do that? I was like, no, I don't. I have Joanne, but she's not going to want to do it. I can't wait till you cut me off. Then I know I've really made it. I'm like, oh my God.

I'm obviously really famous. Wow. I'm going to take my calls. I'm a problem now you cut me off. Then I know I've really made it. I'm like, oh my God, I'm obviously really famous. Wow. I'm so going to take my calls. I'm a problem now. This is great. Next week, I want to talk about ghosting of friends. Yeah, if anyone wants to send in any extra stories, because I know some people replied to an Insta that I posted.

I was perplexed, let's say. Shocked, appalled. You wouldn't believe it. Anyway, any stories about being ghosted by a friend, please send them in to us because we would love that. Or ghosting a friend there are some of them as well yeah

I'll have to put my thinking hats on now all of them all the hats okay hit it okay hello Joanne, Vogue and Jo

I need advice a few years ago my husband developed a crush on a younger woman at work oh oh no he used to stay late

at work and have lunch with her every day just the two of them out of the office. He swore to me that nothing ever happened between them physically but that

he had become very fond of her and that he was attracted to her. Oh Jesus. Oh no. I was unsurprisingly devastated but I believed him that nothing

had happened between them. After crying and shouting a lot and cyber stalking that's the worst thing about the internet. It is. It's spiral. I agreed to work on this with my husband and put it down to a pathetic midlife blip on the condition that he

stopped working with her and have no more contact. He agreed and she left the job soon after. Then the pandemic happened and it turned out to be a blessing. Lockdown's brought us closer together as a family and we've been so happy in our little bubble and he forgot all about her oh no or so i thought recently i needed to use his phone and long story short i discovered he had looked her up on instagram and facebook and had even googled her name he's obsessed oh. I checked all his messages

and there doesn't seem to have been any direct contact with her. And they aren't friends on any of these. I think it's just him getting some sort of fix. Oh, that's really sad. It's a crush. It's just a little crush. It's just a little crush.

I don't know what to do. Should I confront him or pretend I don't know? If he's just looking from a distant maybe it's not too bad now I I I would have to confront him I couldn't keep I would have looked before I'd even put his phone down I would have been shouting at him I think when you're married and like obviously coming from a position of not being married I don't know but I think you can't as much as we would like to and I in particular because I'm very controlling you can't control people's thoughts you can't have you can't, as much as we would like to, and I in particular, because I'm very controlling,

you can't control people's thoughts. You can't have, you can't own every single one of their desires all the time. You just can't. And I think it's fine to have a bit of a crush on someone. He's not doing anything about it. Well, my only thing is

if he was friends with her at work and it got to the stage where like she had to leave work and he was like going for lunches with her and stuff. It's just, that's not fair to do that to your wife I would be

I as a married woman would be very unhappy with that I'd be really upset but if he was just googling her like I wouldn't I don't want to say

that this is actually the case but like if he's going out for lunches with her and stuff like that like of course you're not going to find

any messages because he's not going to keep them there if they're there. You think that he's deleting messages? I think he's deleting messages. I think that that sounds very strange. If he's not deleting the Google searches and the Facebook searches. Yeah, he's not.

I would say. He's not being very careful if he's doing that. He's just checking up on someone he kind of fancies a bit. I honestly think it's fine. And I am incredibly territorial when it comes to men and all that. I honestly think it's fine. And like, I am, you know, incredibly territorial when it comes to men and all that jazz.

And it's not ideal. We don't like it. We want to think that they only think about us all the time and that we're their only interest. But that's just not real life. I'm not saying that

there's any problem with like, but because there's a history of that, like I would be really upset by that. Oh, so would I. But I don't think there's any, like that like I would be really upset by that. Oh so would I but I don't think there's like I think you'd be upset but I think you have to kind of park it and be like it is what it is.

Do you know what I mean? He's not going to do anything with it. I think I would definitely ask him about that. I went out with a guy who had who fancied the whole of this girl and was always like to the point where I was like, what is the fucking story?

Always following her, looking at her stories, all this shit. And I'm like in a way that I can't remember the details, but I just knew there was something up. And then I've noticed on his phone, he had alerts set up for every time she posted a story or a grid on Insta. Yeah. And then I didn't confront him about that in detail. I just said, do you have alerts set up for when I post on Insta. Oh my god. Yeah. And then I didn't confront him about that in detail. I just said, do you have alerts

set up for when I post on Insta? And he was like, oh, I didn't know you could do that. Oh no, snake. Do do do do do do do do do do do. I started from there. Do do do do do do do do do do do do. Of course. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do.

Get the clown car vote. Get the clown car. Get the clown car. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do yeah oh god I feel really sorry for her you just talk yourself but

this guy that I'm talking about my this man that I was with he was acting on it he was DMing her and stuff and I'm pretty sure he scored her like I'm pretty sure he hooked up with her while we were going out

that's different but if this man is not acting on it if he is not contacting her and you know that someone he had a bit of a crush on in the past people do look up he was probably had a couple of drinks one night he's like oh what's she up to it's I don't think it's worth throwing your marriage away over it but I don't think she was suggesting she would but I would I would say it to him though I think um yeah maybe otherwise it'll drive you mad I wish you could lobotomotomise your partners and make them only think of you. I really wish you could.

To do, well you could do what's it called like the men in black do. Make them forget. Forget that now. I think that's the sign of a healthy relationship.

I wish you to have no other thoughts except of me. Just before we go, some shows to mention. I'm doing some shows in America. I'm Joanne. I'm in Philadelphia on March 25th.

I'm in Chicago on the 27th. I'm in San Fran on the 28th, 29th and 30th. And then I'm in LA on the 3rd and the 4th of April. And all those tickets are available to purchase on joannemagnalli.com. And Vogue and Spencer are doing their live podcast show in the Gaiety on the 28th and 29th of March. All tickets are available for their show on spencerandvogue.com.