My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "He's got NO TALENT."

Episode Date: December 7, 2022

Joanne is fired RIGHT up about something this week. But can you guess what it is? Plus, ageing gracefully, the "combative" debate (again) & bringing the new boyfriend along to EVERYTHING.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! Remember to check the venue websites as well as Ticketmaster! For more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Goes With Me with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally. Joanne, I noticed that you mentioned on my questions about my gym collab, you just said that you wanted some. Well, I'm not sure about that, actually. Not sure. Go on. Lucy Nagel sent you some of my other gym collab. Me and Lucy had to have a word about that. Why? Did I not post about it? No, you did, yeah. But I just don't know if you deserve it.

This one's right up your street, though. Look at that leopard. Leopard, neon. I have to say, that one's deadly. The, I loved the previous gym collab. Unfortunately, the jumper was

stolen by Alan. Stolen by Alan. I had four of those black hoodies in my house. All gone. I don't know who. You'd, so,

you'd what? I had four of the Lucy Nagle black hoodies four gone all stolen and like this

this hoodie's amazing the white hoodie's right up your street oh it's Penny who is this? I wish I would the man who doesn't even drink has brought me

an alcoholic beverage he's probably roofied it he's been trying to ride you all night right is there something fizzing in the bottom of that glass I would be very careful if I were you An alcoholic beverage. He's probably roofied it. He's been trying to ride you all night. Right? Is there something fizzing in the bottom of that glass? I'll be very careful if I're you.

So weird. And then I just like, I don't really remember finishing the pot. It is. It is actually quite fizzy. I kind of woke up naked. Back, back, back at my gym club. So Joanne, you will be sent some.

The team at New new dimensions for some strange reason like you oh thank you not to bother so i think i actually think that you can choose what you'd like i'd be happy i will i'd be happy to do a collab with them yes i have to say no they're really good though because like do you know how this whole thing came about sorry quick one of this i was sent some a present from them two years ago and I rang my manager and I was like we have to do something

with them very good gym gear top notch gym gear and they've actually opened a shop on Grafton Street which I love to see an Irish

a small Irish brand and they're from Scaries which I spent most of my childhood because half my family are from there so yes

I don't I've nothing but admiration for you and your business mind I wish because half my family are from there. So, yes. I don't, I have nothing but admiration for you and your business mind. I wish I had even one collab in me. I've been, there's been, like the odd potential collab has popped up and then I just,

it just always falls away because I just miss a Zoom or, I just, even one collab would be I just Miss a zoom Or I just Even one collab Would be great To get across the line Just one collab You need to do

A jewellery collab Because I'd buy All your jewellery You're right You're fucking dead right See this is why Vogue I call her Alan Sugar

Alan Sugar Like she is literally Like Alan Sugar But more crack Yeah way more crack Than him to be fair I know He seems like

He might be a bit of crack. Congratulations on the collab. Before we move on to the emails, I just want to say something's been really bothering me this week. I've taken a real disliking to the little Christmas bear. Can I be honest with you?

No. Okay, well, I will not be honest. That bear, that's a fancy honest. That's a fancy bear. That's a fancy bear. Folk, how can you say that's a fancy bear? He's got the texture of a bath mat that's been sitting on a bathroom floor

for about six months in a student's apartment. He looks glamorous. The only thing I will say, don't buy people's kids teddies because I have teddies coming out of places that teddies shouldn't be coming out of. But you get too many teddies.

Too many teddy teddies. Too many teddies. Folk, the little bear. His eyes are different sizes. His mouth folds down like a gurn. He looks like he's coming up. He looks like he's falling out of Ibiza airport on a Sunday night. We can't be looking at the same bear hang on

he's managed to I don't know who does the PR for the little bear but he is everywhere stay in your lane bear he's in Style magazine he's front cover of the Sunday Times magazine he's probably fucking doing a middle page spread for Vogue.

He's absolutely everywhere. And I just, this is my point about the little Christmas bear. Okay. I understand all the brands are trying to create this like cute creature

like a meerkat or whatever. Right. But if you're trying to place and they keep calling him iconic, which obviously is written by his own publicist. Also, I would just like to know who his publicist is because I could do with them.

I can't even get in Sunday brunch. This fucking bear is like basically front page of GQ magazine. I don't know what he's doing. I don't know how he's doing it. Can I say one thing, though? I take offense to you slagging off his downturned mouth because Winston, right? Very happy dog. Very, very happy dog.

It's not his fault his eyes look sad all the time. Even Gigi is like, Winnie looks sad. And I'm like, no, Winnie doesn't look sad. It's just Winnie's eyes. It's not Winnie's fault

the way his eyes look. Winnie, we don't know where Winnie came from. Winnie has lived a life. I know where Winnie came from. I won't tell you where Winnie came from. We't tell you where Winnie came from Winnie

we feel Winnie was probably trapped in some sort of trauma before he met you but Winnie's a dog that's different the little bear was intentionally designed

for Christmas and he looks he looks depressed well because do you know why because he's stuck beside a pile of mince pies

they're disgusting no one likes raisins that disgusting. No one likes raisins. That's the problem. No one likes raisins. Disgusting. Disgusting. Someone get her a coffee. I can't. I can't. I'm trying to have a serious debate about the little

Christmas bear. Replace her with Stephen Fry. She's malfunctioning over there I don't know what's happening there's like steam coming out her eyes and froth coming out her mouth take her away if Spencer had a mission tonight he has mission accomplished I don't even remember what we were fighting about

if that little bear ends up on the Graham Norton show I will kick off. He hasn't even done anything. He's got no talent. Joanne, you cannot say that about him. He looks fantastic. He's just very aloof

is what I would say about him. He's aloof. I don't know who designed that thing. I like, but that Balenciaga creative director, if he's been fired, little need to fucking hire him because that bear needs to be spiced up. Put a harness on it for God's sake.

It needs to look a bit happier. I cannot look at that thing again. I know exactly what I'm getting you for. I'm telling you now, I'm going to, I swear to God, he'll be on the Victoria's Secret catwalk in no time.

Like, like I say, whoever's doing the PR for that little bear, DM me immediately, please. I could really do it. I know.

I actually, yeah, I agree. I wouldn't mind that. I mean, it's a genius. It's genius marketing. Are you okay about the bear?

Will we leave the bear? No, no, we'll come back to it next week. Go on. Absolutely. There's a lot more to be spoken about about the little bear

do you know who he looks like he looks like the shit boring cousin of flat Eric from the Levi's ad the fact that you have put so much thought

into the Christmas bear like you really don't like that bear no he's really really rode me up the wrong way when he was annoying me anyway because he was just sniffing around when I saw him in Style Magazine I went no that's enough now get back in your lane

you should be bought for a fiver in the middle aisle of what are you doing in Style Magazine do you know how I'm feeling here I am actually I think Joanne might be jealous of the little bear because let's be honest

we all want to be in the fucking that part of Style Magazine let's be honest well it's like do you know remember Flat Eric do do do do do do do

he was so cool and you're like oh Flat Eric's cousin's coming down I'll sound he's going to be cool and then the little bear turns up with his fucking weird eyes and his gurning face And you're like, oh, Flat Eric's cousin's coming down. Oh, sound. He's going to be cool. And then the little bear turns up with his fucking weird eyes and his gurning face

and you're like, shit crack. I don't mind the little bear, to be honest with you. I don't live near a little, so I won't be getting a bear. I'll have you know, he does not speak highly of you.

You'd want to see his thread. You'd want to see his... He has an account on Tattletife and you are shredded by that bear. F-Y-I. Okay. That bear is a fucking snake. Hi to Anne and Vogue.

Long time fan of the pot. I wanted to know how you girls feel about ageing. Not great. Not dying Vogue. Don't worry. Just ageing gracefully. I wanted to know how you girls feel about aging. Not great. Not dying folk. Don't worry. Just aging gracefully. I turned 40 in August this year and I was actually feeling pretty positive about it until other people ruined it for me. On the day of my birthday, I went for a spa treatment in a very well-known five-star hotel in County Clare. I proceeded to tell the masseuse that I have a tiny bit of dry skin in my hands not even worth mentioning really just purely making skin conversation I told her I assume it's from all of the anti-back I'm using since the pandemic but oh no she oh oh yeah she proceeded to tell me I'm

likely perimenopausal I'm sorry what I was literally in my 30s a few hours ago. A tear quietly ran down my face. Cut to a week later at my routine eye test. I asked the optician if I would be a good candidate for eye laser surgery. She asked me what age I am. Upon hearing it, politely proceeded to tell me that my age, there would be no point. What? This is hideous

I feel bad about this I'm sorry I went from feeling fabulous at 40 to feeling shit at 40 I'm probably not your typical 40 year old woman I've been single

and loving it for donkey's years I travel all the time I love kids movies I can cook a decent dinner I went down I don't own a nice pantsuit neither do I

like I assume a 40 year old should is it all down here from here should i put away my luggage and prepare for my inevitable death something do you know what's so it's firstly firstly firstly i would like to kick off this conversation by saying i'm 40 next year i'm genuinely psyched about it and i'm not that's no bullshit I have so much to do I feel like I'm only getting going I'm feeling very positive

about it so I'm not going to anyone piss on my parade someone else mentioned perimenopausal to me recently oh

when I said I had rosacea on my nose someone DM'd me and was like oh that's you're probably perimenopausal and i was like no no no no no don't you be bringing the menopause into my wheelhouse that's at least 10 years down

the line at least you know what i think that like we should be thrilled about the menopause to be honest with you i haven't had my period in nearly two years and i'm delighted about it because i've been it's a lovely it's a lovely way to so so just think you're, you're, you're on, you're not even perimenopausal, first of all, might I say. But who cares? Let's embrace this. Like, we're amazing. Vogue, that's grand for you. You've got 16 kids.

For a woman in my position, who's considering having a child, when someone starts throwing perimenopause on your way. Okay, relax. I'll give you Otto. You can have him. You know, I don't want that one. You know, that's not the one I want. Okay, do you know what, actually? You can have Gigi.

You can have Gigi. You take her. Wait till you see what she's like these days. You take her. I keep going to find stuff and I'm like, I come into my room and there's just shite all over the floor. Just makeup. She goes in, takes makeup.

I go look in her own little bag that she carries around. Full of my stuff. I had these lovely, Elizabeth Arden sent me these like capsules of stuff for your skin that I need

because I'm 37. All in She She's bag. Didn't know where they'd gone to. That little witch is a thief. I've taught her well. She's such a little klepto. I love it. She's finally getting

a personality I can relate to absolutely thrilled she's into skin skin care and stealing the dream I want to dedicate

an entire episode to the joys of turning 40 yeah I agree I do I do I do

but I will say do you remember being younger and you'd look at people who were not even in their 30s, in their late 20s, and you'd be like, those old bastards. You'd be 18 walking around with your little fat puppy face. I remember being in second class and we shared a door with third class. This is primary school, Jo.

It's the Irish education system. Don't worry about it. And I was looking at them going, oh my God, they're so grown up. They were like four or something. Do you know what I mean? Like you're always looking ahead. And then when you get to that going, oh my God, they're so grown up. They were like four or something. Do you know what I mean? Like you're always looking ahead. And then when you get to that stage, you're like,

I feel unbelievable. I feel amazing. I feel like I'm only, I genuinely feel like I'm only getting going. I genuinely feel, that's not bullshit. I genuinely feel that. I feel like at this age,

you really like have your shit together. You kind of know what you want in life. Nobody can kind of take away your thunder. Don't let that girl take away your thunder. And actually, to be honest with you, my mom who is nearly 70 has had her eyes done. So she's lying as well, by the way,

P.S. Get your eyes done because you don't need to go to Specsavers. You just need to go get your eyes done. I'm the same age as you. I just have my eyes done. I can see everything now. Get your eyes done now Get your eyes done Also You're 40

It's not like you've got a fucking cataract hanging out the side of your eye I don't know what that person was talking about They should be struck off, name and shame What was this hotel? I won't be frequenting it What I will say to you I told someone my age yesterday I was like oh I'm 37

She goes oh my god I can someone my age yesterday I was like oh I'm 37 she goes oh my god I can't believe that and I was like delighted I was like why what age did you think I was and she said

34 I thought that's not like that is not a compliment ah come on it is 34 I wanted 27 Vogue

listen Vogue beg aging is an honour it is an honour because at least I'm not I wanted 27 Vogue Listen Vogue Beg Beg Aging Is an honour It is an honour Because at least I'm not

She says He spent so long At Dr. Ewan's clinic She missed all his christening Aging Is an honour Okay You can take that back, right?

Hello. Joanne just inadvertently made a tit of me in the middle of an argument with himself. Why are you being so... I actually... This is so funny. Sorry to interrupt the email.

I don't know how to say the actual word anymore combative say it Jo how would you say that name combative combative that doesn't sound right it's because we've said it wrong

for so long it's combative he says why are you being so combative all the time he said to her she retaliated with the correct term and went you're the one being combative

you have to do it in the voice too combative I already knew I'd lost I knew full well the word is combative combative I already knew I'd lost I knew full well the word is combative but you and your fucking demo Dempsey

combative lives right free on a loop in my autistic ADHD brain shout out to my neurodivergent gal here's hoping

we never argue ever do Breeze much love Lisa combative do you know do you know

sometimes you say a word so many times it loses all sense of meaning in your head? Combative no longer makes any sense to me. That feels just, that sounds wrong. It's one of my favorite words in the entire world ever. Combative. Combative.

Is that? It's all combative. I don't even know where that came from. Anyway. Who is that? It's all competitive. I don't even know where that came from. Anyway.

I have an amazing friend. I would class him as one of my best friends. We always arrange to meet up at least once every two weeks. We have done this for years. In the last few years, he has found love, which is great, of course. However, the boyfriend is always around. When we make plans, the boyfriend comes. But he is not my friend.

I make the usual meetup plans and automatically the boyfriend is now part of the date. Oh, no. This would all be okay if a gang of us are meeting up, but it's only ever me. Therefore, I'm always the third wheel. Even simple plans like after work dinner, he is now automatically involved. No, that's not kill i did say to my friend before why does he always have to come and its response was why not oh no it's really starting to get to me he's a good friend and i like to be able to talk to him but all of a sudden this stranger knows my business when my friend asks me questions about my life

in front of said boyfriend i get really uncomfortable I would never be friends with this type of person shade and now he's in my life I would never be done he seems really nice but I'd never used to

be friends with this type of oh my god I find myself now cancelling plans because I hate the feeling of always being

no just the three of us it's not even being the third wheel. It's having to go out with somebody that you don't really know and you don't like,

you know when someone gets to someone like, oh, will I invite? And you're like, no, no, no.

I'm trying to see. You don't always have to invite the other person. I think sometimes that it's nice to spend time, like Joanne, whenever I try to invite

Spencer to anything, she has an absolute hissy fit and i say yeah i understand i understand so we don't invite him anywhere no we keep it separate separate like i listen i look i've always been like that i'm really bad at mixing groups i don't like it i find it very i don't like it being done to me and i don't like doing it to other people i think you need to leave your own space it's not that you can't ever be in each other's company, but if you're wanting to spend time, like if I want to spend time with you on your own,

I don't want Alan coming, although Alan's so lovely, I would like him coming. No, no, no, no, I'm greedy. Like I'm a bit greedy in that way. I'm like, I want, if I want to have lunch at Vogue, I want to have lunch at Vogue. So when you come down here later, I'll just tell Spenny, I'll say, Spenny, you've got to get out of the house.

He can sit in the balcony. We've got a new pergola he'll be happy out there he can just sit out there yeah I've booked you an Airbnb the zap people are going to come and collect you and drop you off but I wonder about the gender of the person who wrote up maybe this is me showing my age but I wonder

is the boyfriend coming along because they're jealous or something like a bit threatened I wouldn't say they're jealous I just think that like some people when they get into a relationship do you not have a friend like that that like it's all about the relationship it's all about the new person and they have to have them at every single thing and I find that kind of annoying I'm kind of the opposite I'm like Alan's kind of pulled me up in it a couple of times he's like I I'm your boyfriend like I should be you know kind of going to things and stuff

I'm just so used to doing things on my own that I I like to keep things kind of separate yeah but I think that you have I think that like

one of the mistakes actually I have made in past relationships is like bringing them along to too many things and I think it's nice to have your own separate life

which they don't want to be involved in I'll tell you what Spenny does not want to come out with us of course he doesn't he hasn't even asked to come out on Sunday he would have no interest, we'd drive him up the walls 100%

that's when I knew we were meant to be and also I made the mistake when I was younger of going out with people and becoming completely consumed by them and I kind of gave up I didn't really have my own identity anymore whereas now I'm older and I would insist on it so just be very careful you don't fall into what I'm actually speaking to the person who's bringing their

boyfriend out wary of the codependency situation it's not healthy I think relationships last longer and are healthier when you're very much around people because yeah I was going to say something negative there I won't go down the negative route but just have your own shit going on I'm like Vogue don't be fucking bringing your boyfriend that's my husband Joanne whatever don't be bringing him anywhere okay

I understand that I take it on I understand where you're coming from Joanne although said husband just walked in and asked me If I wanted a top up I am keeping him Oh that's so cute You know what he's You know what he's trying to do I know I know

And it's going to happen He's got his way I do that much for sure Gotten his way Isn't it such a terrible State of affairs Like What a toast to marriage

I have to go home now And get your one Absolutely shit face That shall ride me anyway I do I might even go through my fancy underwear

no that's not true actually that's too much I was actually laughing the other day like when I first started going out with Alan like obviously you know you've got like

the linguine is what I call it the lingerie and you're like yeah yeah yeah he took a photo of me were you in the nude underwear I wasn't I was Yeah, yeah, yeah. Out of bed. We're here. He took a photo of me.

Were you in the nude underwear? I wasn't. I was in like with this like giant, like onesie kind of fleeced. I don't even know what you'd call it. Shell suit. With, cause obviously I had the laser.

So I'd like all this eye drops in my eyes and eye mask on, mouth wide open asleep duvet wrapped up to my neck whatever the opposite of sexy is keep sending your cheating stories in

I genuinely think we should dedicate an entire bonus episode just to talk about cheating because the thing that was so nice about reading them was that we were all they were laughing only think we should dedicate an entire bonus episode just to talk about cheating because the thing that was so nice about reading them was that we were all they were laughing and I was laughing and we were laughing and I will tell

you I have something very interesting to tell you about that something oh my god have you got something in the pipeline are you going to do one of those pipeline things I nearly passed away and died yesterday when it came up right you're not gonna believe i will tell my god i don't even mean to do a cliffhanger but like i literally when when i got the mail i

was like oh my god earn emoji earn emoji do you know the earn nine earn emojis What's going on Oh I meant to say to you So I was on the MTGM pod Whatever Instagram thing You're doing a great job

With that by the way Great job Thank you She's doing a fantastic job I did two stories Two stories yesterday But I was So I wanted people

To tell me their cheating stories So I put up and asked You know The question box And the template Comes up with the thing Ask me anything So most people

Were just sending in Cheating stories And then one girl wrote it She's like How do you deal With all the hate online About you She goes

I read it about you And it's just Absolutely awful Thank you for listening to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with Joanne McNally and Vogue Williams

Guru of Markhut Guru of Markhut with me Joanne McNally and Michael Collins over there Eamon Tavallera rude

Eamon Tavallera couple of fuckles couple ofavalaire couple of fuckles couple of fuckles yeah I literally I couldn't even get in the Clapham Gazette this prick's

fucking front page anyway he has positioned himself well he has positioned himself suspiciously well