My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "I can't believe there was a ghost on a plane!"

Episode Date: February 15, 2023

After Vogue's ghostly goings on in France, it turns out you all have a few ghost stories of your own and they've hit the email inbox HARD! Plus, bathroom doors without locks, more frozen urine from planes and Mr Blobby!If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! Remember to check the venue websites as well as Ticketmaster! For more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Goes to Me with me, Vogue Williams, and her, Joanne McNally. Hello. Hello. How are you? Not you, them. Hey, you guys.

Great, thanks. Not you, not you, them. How are you? How have you been? Are you well? How's your mother? Is she working? Okay, Joanne, I have a game for you.

It's called Guess the Headline. And it's topics that I've seen online that just made me think, wow. Okay, right. I love when you think wow whatever next I just looked at it and I said wow

wow do you want to New York wow she's staying in an apartment wow wow I'm never eating oysters again wow

blank has given up on blank after having three kids it's not about me blank has given up on blank after having three kids. It's not about me. Blank has given up on blank after having three kids.

Woman gives up on the pull-out method after having three kids. Jo, you may snigger. That's a real problem. I know a lot of women who relied on the pull-out methods and do you know what they're called now? Mum.

Yeah. You've got to be careful. You've got to be careful. Do you know what though? You've got to know those dates. You've got to know do you know what though you gotta know those dates you gotta know those dates you gotta know those dates honestly

honestly it should always be the pull out anyway so here's the here's the answer Marie Kondo has given up on cleaning after having three kids

is she what a quitter is she the if it doesn't bring you joy throw in the bin woman yeah yeah yeah she's got like four things in her house or something.

She's one of those people who has one spoon, one fork for everyone in the house and that's about it. Her house must be absolutely glorious. I don't believe her for a second. I do. I understand the

I do understand the decluttering thing because you do end up getting attached. Like we were saying I can't look at things being taken out of the house because I want them back when I see them.

It's very hard to get rid of stuff because some things are kind of sentimental. But imagine having three kids and only being able to have stuff

of functionality in your house. Your kids would be playing with the remote control. They'd have no toys. What would they play with? They do like the remote control in fairness though.

Peppa Pig does not give me joy. I can tell you. She'd be out in the bin. Can't listen to her anymore she's fucking everywhere I got Shiji a new dolly today because she was and she picked it out

herself as well because she was she's been doing well but not wetting the bed and she picks up the dolly she took it out of the box and she started crying because she said

it was too heavy didn't want the dolly spoiled you know what I'm going to Marie Kondo all three of them they won't know what hit them they'll be a toy left

they'll be playing with the switch forever more We need to get her one of those harnesses to carry our children in Yeah Next one Blank unfollows her daughter

blank on Instagram Oh well I know I know this one Okay go Caitlyn Jenner unfollows Kendall Jenner

on Instagram I'll tell you what I sorry I just heard a noise Okay, go. Caitlyn Jenner unfollows Kendall Jenner on Instagram. I'll tell you what I... Sorry, I just heard a noise behind me. I swear it's the ghost following me around again. Joe, sorry, you were really scared the other night, okay?

And people have been mailing me looking for an update on the ghost. I'll tell you what happened to the ghost. It's clearly right behind me now. I haven't heard from him since skiing but he's obviously come and joined us

here in London. What was the... Well, we need to know how it ended. Was there a ghost? Did you ride Spencer? What happened? He said it was horny.

Oh, God. Oh, my God, yeah. What happened with the ghost? There is no ghost update, is there? Because they don't exist. No, I'll tell you what happened with the ghost.

So, someone else who was in the house with us was also insisting that cupboard doors Kept being left open and she was there on her own Some mornings And cupboard doors were just randomly being opened So I am telling you that there was definitely a ghost It was more like a trickster

Kind of ghost and not a nasty ghost And if anything this ghost Has brought me a lot of peace to my life Imagine you read that like all of Jackass Had died that night you'd be like oh my god this ghost has brought me a lot of peace to my life. Imagine you read that like all of Jackass had died that night. You'd be like, oh my God. It's the trickster. It's him, it's him.

It's Jeremy Beadle. He'd be a good trickster. He'd be a good trickster. He'd be a good trickster, yeah. What do you think about Kendall Jenner and Caitlyn? Well, Kendall has an unfollowed Caitlyn. I need to, obviously,

I don't know the ins and outs, but that will not stop me having an opinion on it. A hundred percent. Caitlyn? Well, Kendall hasn't unfollowed Caitlyn. I need to, obviously I don't know the ins and outs, but that will not stop me having an opinion on it. A hundred percent. Caitlyn Jenner, from what I can tell, seems a little bit petty. Now, what I will also say is sometimes, you know, you know, when you have to unfollow some people because it's not good for your own self-esteem. Like sometimes I find it hard looking at Kendall Jenner's pictures. I haven't unfollowed her yet, but she's so disgustingly beautiful that maybe Caitlin was like,

fuck this. This is damaging my mental health. She's jealous of her daughter. It does happen. My mum can't look at me. She can't look at me. She doesn't recognise you. She hasn't seen you in 37 years. Green with envy.

I know. God. Anyway, unless, if I would like to give Caitlin the benefit of the date, maybe Kendall asked her to unfollow her because she was like, I want to live my private life. I don't want you looking at my stuff. But because Caitlin does seem a bit petty with stuff that she said and done in the past in relation to the Kardashians and I know she has a pretty tumultuous

relationship with Kendall for sure for sure I think she doesn't speak to any of the older sisters now from what I know which is I think she was kind of kicked out of the show and it really annoyed her because that's obviously such a big cash cow. But then she had her own show which obviously didn't do so well because like... They're the most powerful family in the world, I would say.

I know. In the world, I would say. And there was obviously big fallout over Caitlin transitioning. All that jazz. Look, we weren't there. We don't know. But this is our assumption.

There's been some fallout. I just think to unfollow your daughter is so juvenile yeah it's pretty bizarre but listen the truth about restrict that's it you following someone it's like it's a real juvenile reaction or it's like I'm following someone she's refollowed her oh for god's sake I just looked she's real refollowed her she follows Kanye West still can't keep up with Hollywood.

Maybe it was a glitch. Maybe. You know when you do a rage unfollow, like, have you never done that? I've unfollowed Spencer before. I've blocked Spencer on WhatsApp and everything and I'm like, one more message,

one more message and I'm blocking it and I block him on absolutely everything and I think it's brilliant and then I'm like, well, what if something happens to the kids? He'll email me.

Fuck him. He can email me. Yeah, no, I know. I know. It is a real finger up to them and like half the time they don't even know you've done it because you can't end

on block them then do you know what I mean they don't even know it's such a lovely feeling though you know and you're literally like that's it and it's like

it's just it's such a nice pleasant feeling but you know the way we always talk about the high road I don't even know what are you talking about

what is the high road we I don't even know. What are you talking about? What is the high road? We both unfortunately have decided to take it. We have. We've taken the high road in a couple of situations where we could have taken the low road. And always the person who does nothing is the one who looks the most balanced. Yeah, 100%.

Don't this unfollowing, following, blocking, unblocking, following, unblocking, voice notes, following, blocking. You look deranged. Do nothing. Just nothing peace love and light i said you know what i will say when you're having a fight with somebody and it's it's taken me two marriages and a lot of relationships to learn this right so you know when someone's firing you messages when you're fighting just for one of the messages just don't write back don't yeah and watch them flood in because as soon as you don't write back you've got that power and then they'll just keep coming and coming and coming and the more they come the more you're like you know what don't care keep that okay i

know it's like once that power is gone that's what fighting is isn't it it's just like a power dynamic who has the power i got once where a guy just completely cut me off we were like mid fight and he just cut me off and it makes you spiral then you literally spiral you can't stop yourself you're out of control

you can't stop yourself yeah it's a horrible horrible feeling and it's also kind of a cruel thing to do to someone oh

you can do it he's your husband but I'm just talking about winning a fight okay Spenny and I don't really have big fights

like that anymore since you stopped drinking there's not really like all that much to fight about mainly it's boozing would you like to hear an email

sure after listening to this week's episode I think this story is very fitting considering Vogue is being haunted by her father

and Joanne thinks someone was killed by frozen piss I forgot about that. Actually, I had an email about it. Go on, you read your email and I'll find the data here. It's long, but stick with it. My mom is an airhouse test on Ireland's best and fave airline,

obviously Aer Lingus. She hasn't even written that. I just know it's Aer Lingus. She does transatlantic flights over and back to America. On certain long flights the cabin crew get breaks of like three hours to go under the plane to the hold for a nap i knew that i've sometimes seen those spicy little bedrooms they have they look great like full-on day like a proper bunk bed and these are over there these are like bunk beds under the plane uh anyways one day on a to LA, she was told a story by a fellow cabin crew. Allegedly, our favorite word in capitalist.

Yeah, safe. A cabin crew was waking up from her little nap when she seen a passenger come down the stairs. She approached the lady and said, please return to your seat as this area is not for passengers. The lady proceeded to tell her how tired she was and just wanted to go for a sleep.

Cabin crew tried to get this lady to go up, but she wasn't having any luck. After asking her her seat number, the cabin crew then approached her husband and asked if his wife was okay and if he could maybe help her get back up to her seat. A very baffled man said, my wife's remains

are on the plane. The fucking woman was dead and on the plane in the hold. Oh've got goosebumps joanne doesn't believe in ghosts i think that 100% happened without a shadow of a doubt okay and i won't see you at those pretty gates because they don't let in non-believers right i've always admired your delusions always i think it's a great part about your personality is that you're completely deranged and this is just part of that

and I think fair play to you can't believe that there was a ghost on the plane that's madness someone haunting a plane I could honestly read ghost stories till the cows come home would you want to know if there was human remains on your plane I think

a lot of the time they're flying them back and forth I lot a lot of the time there's a lot a lot of the time they're flying them back and forth back and forth yeah I think a lot of the time the likelihood there is

if you're on a big plane so even corpses need a holiday this isn't a long email because i can't bear thinking about it for too long i'm so embarrassed that i could eat my own head me and my boyfriend stayed at his grandparents over the weekend they have one of those bathrooms with no lock why do people do this? On Saturday morning his nan opened the door while I was having a longer toilet. Sorry. Nice.

A longer toilet and I went to use the bathroom on Sunday morning and his grandad was stood bollock fucking naked having a shave. He grabbed a small face towel held it in a way that absolutely didn't cover up his bits and bobs and said, oops, sorry love, that's not what you wanted to see. I'll'll tell you what I stared so hard into my cornflakes at the breakfast table I can't believe they didn't catch fire please release me from this prison of thoughts

more towel there's nothing worse it's like a line has been crossed and like where do you go from that I read during the week that they've they've um they were it's one of these articles they're either gonna design it or they're thinking about designing it i don't know if they have these really uncomfortable toilet seats that kind of are angled up so that people don't it's to put in offices so that people don't take too long in the toilet oh you see i don't find sitting on the toilet that comfortable i'm a real in and outy yeah but now out of those two things what would embarrass me more is is your one, is the granny walking in on me having a long toilet. So she says, I would, I hate that.

I would find that so humiliating. Yeah. And was there eye contact? Did she say, Oh God, there probably was eye contact. It's the eye contact makes or breaks it for me, to be honest. Now there's no eye contact. You can get away with it. Could you pretend you didn't see her? Even though she's screaming in front of you. Like, just pretend you didn't see her. I'm really sorry for walking in here. I didn't see you. You didn't walk in.

What are you talking about? Sometimes when I'm asleep, it was a sleepwalking long toilet. That's what it was. That's what I do sometimes. It's weird. I don't know what it is. All those stories just remind me of Alzo, who now knocks on our door four times. He came to our door last night and he knocked four times

rightly so yeah but he hadn't done that earlier sorry can I can I read an email please can I read an email please is this a ghost story

no okay fine Joanne I'm listening to your pod and the story about the URI leaving the plane that actually did

happen years ago in Galway a large frozen green mass ago in Galway. A large frozen green mass fell in Galway racetrack and narrowly missed a guy out walking during his lunch break. Presumably the pilot thought they were well clear of the coast

and were dumping it in the sea and your man at the racetrack didn't know what it was and brought a chunk home and put it in his freezer. And when the Galway advertiser paper ran the story, he was pictured

holding the chunk of frozen piss imagine if it hit him he'd be found dead and they wouldn't know what had killed him what a way to go

I don't believe it you don't sorry you're telling me you don't believe in ghosts but you believe somebody was killed by a shard of piss

yeah because shards of piss actually exist ghosts don't I'm gonna look the plane shoot it out okay was a woman killed by a shard of piss. Yeah, because shards of piss actually exist. Ghosts don't. I'm going to look. The plane shoot it out. Okay. Was a woman killed by a frozen shaft of urine?

This is, this is, it's such a stupid website. Sorry, Google. I cannot believe you're fact-checking my story and you totally believe there was a spirit of a woman

on an Aer Lingus flight. There was most, it wasn't an Aer Lingus flight. How are you disputing my story? My story was in the Galway advertiser. Okay. Now I'm sending you this picture of the woman who was killed

by the piss. Wait, Lizzie. She looks like she's got Darth Vader coming out of her chest. Please, just out of respect, can we say shaft or frozen urine? Just out of respect for the deceased. R.I.P. Rest in peace. Okay, so this was in Yorkshire.

Yorkshire. So you are admitting it did happen. No, because it's such a low... It's just not true. Maybe it was a storyline in Jonathan Creek, but I'm pretty sure I saw it. Because as that woman did say, you'd never know.

Because the urine would melt away and then you'd just be there with like a spear through your heart and they wouldn't know what it caused us hold on but you just said a woman in yorkshire did yeah but go look at the picture i sent to the group honestly yeah that is the woman i saw yeah i think she's alive and well after playing a game with her lightsaber um no oh my. I totally believed that when I saw it. Sorry, did we ever talk about Mr. Blobby? I know you really have a penchant for Mr. Blobby. Yeah, because you know, I think he's one of the best physical comedians of my generation. Really? And now his skin is lying in a home somewhere in Berkshire and they're trying to sell it online they're

trying to traffic him online and started out as something like 700 quid and it went to 62 grand and I was I was convinced it's like that someone pissed out of their face bidding on a Mr Blobby costume because the state of the costume it was like oh how's it normal amount of has a normal amount of wear and tear. It was terrifying looking. It was awful. It looked like it'd been in a nuclear blast. It was all like melting off and stuff. Anyway, 62 grand it got up to.

And then the next day, someone was like, sorry about that. I need to withdraw the bid. The whole thing collapsed. And now your man has decided to keep it. But the funniest thing, the funniest part of it was in the description. They're like, you can't wear it outside of the house for licensing reasons and you can't perform as Mr. Blobby it'd be like if someone skinned me and then wore me on stage you can't do that it's not allowed I fully intend to I fully so someone was about to spend 62 62 grand just to wear a suit like a onesie around the house

amazing I'm actually gonna get I'm actually gonna watch the Mr. Blobby videos tonight when I get home around the house amazing I'm actually going to watch some Mr. Blobby videos tonight when I get home just to say I have shows in Boston and Chicago

Boston Boston I know Chicago's good fun sorry you sound so stimulated. Chicago is great crack. I lived there for six weeks.

Oh, did you? Did you do your J1 in Chicago? Yeah, a native. A Chicago native. Yes, yes. Oh, I'll tell them you're asking for them. Do you know what? Actually, will you bring me home a bottle of Fanta?

Go on. They've only got special. You can get it in the airport. Get me a big bottle of that nice Fanta of course I will you know I love bringing presents

home from holidays I'm just that kind of person if you come to the Ganey next week without a bottle of Fanta you're dead

oh no no no Chicago and Boston are until May the tickets go on sale this Thursday the 9th whatever month

9th of February are they beside each other now Chicago and Boston oh sorry you want me to get the Fanta in New York just get me Fanta in the airport The 9th, whatever month, 9th of February. Are they beside each other now, Chicago and Boston? Oh, sorry, you want me to get the Fanta in New York? Just get me Fanta in the airport on the way home. Okay, grand, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They have that really luminous Fanta and I love it so much. You can actually go to joannemcnally.com to find out all ticket dates and it's a fantastic website. I've looked it up myself. There you go. 12th of May, Boston. 13th of May, Chicago. Bye.