My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "I feel like it's over."

Episode Date: June 19, 2024

How did Vogue get on with the flight home? Clue: Not well. Plus, Joanne is raging about being snubbed by the Pope.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to my therapist ghosted me, the bonus episode. I was not ready for that. I thought we were just chewing fat behind the scenes. That was... Eight hours, 45 minutes sleep. Okay. I okay i'm on fuego again oh you're on fuego again yes i love when you're on fuego before we get started we have a couple of plugs to do well you know i adore a plug so plug right ahead Joanne don't you indeed I do certainly do we're like two two sparkies

we have New York Boston Toronto on September on October Jo can you get us the dates always October

12th 13th and 14th 10 11 12 well near near close enough

closer than Joanne in September we'll be in New York for New Year's Eve and Joanne in September. We'll be in New York for New Year's Eve. Can't wait for Thanksgiving. I just go where I'm told. October the 10th, the 11th and the 12th,

Boston, New York, Toronto. October 10th, 11th, 12th, Boston, New York, Toronto. Tickets are on mytherapistghostedme.com So I'm home. I'm absolutely thrilled to be back. I had a great holiday, obviously,

but they broke me finally on the way home. Like, spending the whole trip was like, how are you not, like, going mad? Because Otto would say my name about 300 times a day. And I was like, I just don't really hear it. I don't hear the constant screaming at me. I don't realize I'm carrying him all the time.

On the flight home, they got me and I cried in the toilet. Good for you. Good for you. I was in the toilet with Otto because I couldn't go anywhere without him. And I was like, please sleep, Otto, please. You finally joined the mild cry club

that I've been in for many, many, many years. All I do is cry in the sky. Well, I don't think I've quite joined your club. I'm going to be brave enough to do it in public the next time. I had to go and hide in the toilet to do it, but I should have just done it. And maybe someone would have taken them off my hands and got them to sleep for me. Oh, yeah. I sob openly in my seat.

I have no shame. I don't know. Women have messaged me before saying they have a similar issue. Oh yeah, I sob openly in my seat. I have no shame. I don't know. Like I've discussed, so women have messaged me before saying they have a similar issue. So I've coined it now, the Malcri club. It's like,

it's like, I think it's so, you have a lot of time to think up there. Obviously it's the gin. Okay. But park that. It's, I'm not,

but I do tend to get a little philosophical in the sky. I, you see see I'm too busy and concerned at how the plane got to that height with all of the weight on it and I'm like I didn't tell you actually when I was flying to when we were flying to Zanzibar I had a full on meltdown on that flight like I was convinced

we were going to die I just was like I was holding we were going to die and like I just was like I was holding on to Otto's leg I was crying and then I was obviously frightening a girl two rows back because we kept looking

at each other and her face and I was like oh my god she thinks we're going to die too was it the turbulence or was it like why did you think

you were going to die I felt like we went up and I felt like we came back down and we did slightly go back down and the air hostess then disappeared down the back of the plane I was like all right she's gonna go look after herself there's obviously a parachute back there she doesn't give a shit about us haven't seen her since but it was because it was the way it was turning it felt like we had

gone down yeah and then I took I have to be honest I took half as annex on the flight and the long haul flight because I had to because I think that's just what I'm gonna have to be honest, I took half a Xanax on the flight and the long haul flight because I had to. Because I think that's just what I'm going to have to do now on flights. It's got to be because I'm really getting to the point where I'm starting to make everyone feel uncomfortable. And I don't think that's fair. I have a friend who's terrified of flying, so she heavily medicates herself to do so. So going on holidays with her is quite difficult because it takes her a couple of days to kind of come back to like reality for the medication to leave her system so we're just kind of dragging around from restaurant to bars

and then by the time she comes fully back to herself it's time to go home I'm like I don't know why you're other but I've always said to myself who I have juicy conversations with I'm so glad I don't have a fear of flying because it is if you let it in it's it's it's very debilitating because especially because i fly a lot for work i'd be i'd be constant i'd be in a constant state of fear i my theory on it is when it's your time it's your time also they do say the brace position is actually designed to kill you quicker that's what i heard no it is not it's on my on my forums that i read regularly yeah Yeah. Some say conspiracy.

I say truth tellers. The bracing position is apparently supposed to break your neck so you die quicker. It's kind of like putting down a chicken, I guess. I would just like to tell everyone that don't please take everything Joanne says with a pinch of salt. This is not true. I read it on conspiracy now. Okay. I don't know how you can dispute that.

It's going to come to a point in Joanne's life where you're not actually going to know what's real or what's fake. We've got to be really careful about your conspiracy shit. I know. I'll be like, Vogue, I saw your sex tape

and frankly, it was comical. Now, I wouldn't. Well, Joanneanne I saw yours and it looked like you were asleep. You were. I was actually writing I was actually writing stand-up right this other day.

I was like if I did a sex tape they'd be like oh the screen is frozen. No that's me. Just lying there getting serviced. Why is she only frozen and he's still moving?

There's a glitch in the screen. I wanted to tell you some plane facts that I read the other day that I thought were really good because we just started talking about planes. Okay.

In 2003, two men stole a parked Boeing 727 and flew into the sunset and they were never found. How the fuck can you not find a Boeing? Where's it gone?

It probably just fucking fell apart in the sky like the rest of them. Was this like a stag gone awry or something? What's this? Do you mean they never found them? They just took off and the plane never landed and they never reappeared? No, they obviously know about planes because they stole the plane. They must have just thrown the black box out and been like,

let's take this plane. But where are you? How are you going to get used to that Boeing? Can you throw a oh it's probably a bar it's probably a pop-up bar in Glastonbury or do you know

where do you know I bet you they've used it as um it's probably a accommodation in Burning Man that's what it is or well it probably

sells pizza in Clapton or something like that yeah yeah yeah I think it's in the common actually they sell baby baby cappuccinos

here's a scary one right an aero flight A21 crashed because the captain was drunk and he killed 88 people I will say again from my inside scoop

into the world of aviation which I I do have a direct line but I can't reveal my sources pilots are absolute piss heads okay well what I will say about pilots right

that guy was pissed he killed 88 people what about Denzel Washington what about Denzel Washington who was pissed and saved everybody no it's not remember

that thing yeah he drove it into he landed in the Hudson was that it yeah so you that was Tom Hanks landed it in the Hudson

Denzel Washington does it upside down then he pops it upside down, doesn't he? Pops it upside down. Oh, well, I was confusing the two, but anyway. Anyway, he saved lives while drinking, which I think is the important takeaway here for us. So you've got a pro and you've got a con.

You've got the guy who couldn't handle his drink and you've got the guy who could handle his drink. Don't throw the baby out with the vodka, is the lesson. Yeah, the bathwater, the vodka. And do you know what? Denzel probably or the man

that he played like I'm not advocating drink flying obviously. Fly responsibly girls. But maybe the couple of drinks

gave him the confidence to flip the plane upside down. That's do you know what? I'm actually not going to disagree with you there but I would prefer if my pilot was sane and also sober. the plane upside down. Do you know what? I'm actually not going to disagree with you there.

But I would prefer if my pilot was sane and also sober. Sane and sober are the way that I like them. Ideal. Yeah, same, same, same. I like my pilots like I like my children. Yeah. Yeah, sane and sober. Yeah, sober and sane.

Sober. Yeah, sober. So Joanne, I have decided to bite the bullet and I'm going to go for one of those tests for ADHD. One of the really long ones though. I don't know how I'm going to get through six hours of tests, but I'm going to go and do it. Yeah, I did contact a clinic and then, I'm not even joking when I say I just lost interest and didn't go.

But I had I had an appointment and everything and they wanted to speak to my mother. So I was trying to groom her for the interview. Well, Spenny's obviously already had it, so he has it. But Spenny's gone in my bad books at the moment. And I want your I want your opinion on this. OK, so so I do most of the stuff with the kids as you know and when we were away we had the three kids spenny's parents were there so they helped out a little bit but you can't be expecting them to do everything so anyway we are flying home so we did our first five-hour flight and then we

had a stopover in dubai and spenny was going to jordan spenny had decided and then i had a like i had a seven-hour flight and a basically two- hour trip home with the kids so nine hours with the kids on my own uh and uh and Spenny we got we got to Dubai airport and Spenny's like oh I'm really tired I was like yeah me too yeah I only got two hours sleep on the plane so like we're all tired and he's like no but I'm really tired and my flight to Jordan isn't very long so like I'll only get like three hours sleep or something like that I was like yeah well I'm um playing with all the kids so I will probably get less than that. So Spencer decided that on our stopover, I haven't even told him about this yet. I'm saving it. I decided on our stopover home that he was going to sleep for an hour and a half in the chair while I ran around after the kids and then got on a flight with them and then flew home.

Who was right in this situation? Jo and Joanne. Well, I'm OK. Jo, I know you agree with me. I saw it by your nod and you agreed. Joanne, I know that you'll always have Spencer's back. I can't understand it. No, no, no, no, no.

I like to ride a fine line. But I keep the two of you happy so that I'm still free to come and go as I please in the house. Well, I think that's actually quite clever of you. Isn't it? You should probably go into politics. You Tory witch.

I've called you a Tory witch before. I do love it. I'm still completely confused as to what that is, but I like it. It has a ring to it. It's something to do with Lawrence Fox. Is that right? Is that right, Jo?

Just because we're in an election period, we'll also joke that Joanne Is a Labour voting Green voting, Reform voting Lib Dem voting Ah Jo come on we're not political We don't give a shite Do we need to Cover all bases here?

Are we being financed by the British government? What's happened here? And thank you Rishi Sunak for supporting this podcast thank you Rishi Rishi Rishi

Rishi Sunak I love that and thank you Boris Johnson for inviting us to that party over lockdown we thoroughly

enjoyed ourselves which we didn't go to in Boris Johnson's next video to get this podcast sorry speaking of getting snubbed when Boris didn't go to In Boris Johnson's next podcast Sorry Speaking of getting snubbed When Boris didn't invite us to that session

Yeah Have you heard the latest Have you heard about the Pope I did hear about the Pope Because you sent it to me Jo did you hear about the Pope I'm absolutely fuming He's invited a few comedians over

He's invited a few comedians over To do't he? He's invited a few comedians over to do some sort of corporate in the Vatican. I don't know what the details are. And I am not on the list. Joanne, I didn't know. Patrick Healty. Whoopi Goldberg went. Jimmy Fallon.

Chris Rock. Stick to the Irish ones, Jo. Stick to the Irish ones. Obviously, I can't compete with Jimmy Fallon, but stick to the Irish ones, please. Conan O'Brien is not Irish He's not an Irish name though He looks Irish

He looks Irish He's fake Oh Ardell O'Hanlon Is on the list I think Yeah Ardell O'Hanlon Who starred in A blasphemous TV show

Called Father Ted Okay Are you telling me Are you telling me That you would actually Get in a plane And go over to see the Pope You would

In your arse You're only annoyed Because you weren't invited plane and go over to see the Pope. You would in your arse. You're only annoyed because you weren't invited. No, you... Sorry, a collab with the Pope. Tommy Tiernan's in on it. Tommy's in on it. Of course he is.

He left you... He dropped you like a hot snot after Dubai, didn't he? He never mentioned that in Abu Dhabi that he was off to the Vatican. Kept that to himself. Shocker.

Just so you know, I was invited as well but I actually declined. I said, no thanks. I'm really busy that day. Just so you know, I was invited as well, but I actually declined. I said, no, thanks. I'm really busy that day. Of course you were invited. Yeah, I was. Well, if the Pope's listening to this, which I'm sure he is,

just know that I'm always the one who puts the baby Jesus in the manger on Christmas Eve in my family house. And from now on, I will not be doing that. Do you want to say, here, listen, I'll remember that. Threaten the Pope, go on'll remember that threaten the Pope go on am I threatening the Pope now yes I am actually I'll remember that we will remember that

baby Jesus is going to stay in the box and you've no one to blame but yourself and I'm not going to Mass anymore ever again not even the next time I get married I'm not going to Mass not even yeah she's going to get married

at Stonehenge like a pagan bitch and no one's going to put you around Hi Vogue and Siobhan I've just been to a wedding with my husband and I'm fuming it was a wedding for his husband and I'm fuming. It was a wedding for his friends, so I didn't really know anyone anyway. But I didn't see him all night.

He was around working the room and talking to at least three women he used to date. He drank... Oh yeah, I know. Well, you see, I can't actually get annoyed by things like that because Spencer has dated everybody in London. So if I started getting annoyed by one it would just be like endless. He drank fucking loads because I said I'd drive home and on the way home

he just kept talking about this one woman. They were at uni together and how cool she is. Make no bones I feel jealous and pathetic because I feel like watching him that night

he came alive like I haven't seen in ages. The last time he made that much effort with me we hadn't had sex in 10 months after having a baby and he was just desperate for so to start shagging again I get that a marriage changes over time but it's the first time I felt like his heart just isn't in it anymore oh no I just okay let me finish it and then just before we got married eight years ago together for 12, he was having an emotional affair with a woman he works with. I believe him

that it wasn't physical but that's the history. Please tell me I'm just being stupid and jealous because at the moment I feel like it's over. Anon, please. I honestly,

this is how I feel about it and I suppose that you're probably not feeling great at the moment about yourself anyway. So I think that he went to that feeling great at the moment about yourself anyway so I think that he went to that wedding

and it's just loads of people he hadn't seen before if he was drinking he was probably trying to show off a little bit like when you're on your own like when you're with somebody all the time

you do get used to them but like I feel like when you're on your own it's nice to get a little bit of attention like everybody does it it's normal a bit of peacocking

I call it yeah you're kind of showing you yeah you're ruffling your feathers uh yeah I agree I I see it from both sides yeah I understand why okay I would date with a guy before and it was a similar situation we were going out a couple of years and then we would go to events and there would be women there and he would like that peacock And he would be making them laugh And he would be kind of flirting And I would be getting really annoyed

And really angry But what I realised was That's just who he is So it just doesn't suit me To go out with someone like that Because I felt And we broke up anyway It was kind of

It was on the rocks a bit as well I'm not saying this woman's marriage is on the rocks But also you do get so used to your partner when you're out with other people. It's like that thing, when you're going out with someone, you always have that one friend there that you're like, oh, maybe I should be riding them because you get on with them so well

because there's no, there's no, there's no, like jeopardy there. You can just safely kind of flirt and hang out and get on. Do you know what I mean? I don't even think, like, I'm trying to, because the way I explained that with Spencer probably wasn't right. So, like, I'm not saying that Spencer goes out when we're, like, he's done it once when we're, like, together and he's kind of, like, just kind of ditched me.

And I'm like, hello, like, I'm still here. And I was like, don't be doing that when I'm with you, going around showing off. But, like, you do, like, it's nice to go out and feel like you're, like, on your own and you're just kind of your own person for a while. Because when you're married, you're so insular together. Yeah. And when you're like on your own and you're just kind of your own person for a while because when you're married you're so insular together yeah

and when you're and I would I just I don't think I'd be worried about the fact that he did that I think that's completely normal he made her feel a bit boring yeah

she was like oh do I kind of bore you that you're you're coming alive around these other people who also happen to be women which is a little unfortunate because then you're feeling

quite territorial about it yeah but like surely in a marriage that is kind of what happens like also happen to be women, which is a little unfortunate because then you're feeling quite territorial about it. Yeah. But like, surely in a marriage that is kind of what happens. Like, you need, do you know what you should do?

Leave him for a little bit. No. Don't. I, and then, no? No, I would say,

just, I'd say it to him. I'd be like, I get that you want to like, you want to feel like, like you're, you're like, you're fun and blah, blah, blah.

We've been together for so long. But just be really present when I'm with you. Remember that I'm there. Let's have fun together when I'm there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have seen it, though. I've also been on the receiving end of it. I was at a wedding once and there was a man there, a husband. He was just kind of like, you know, wooing the lady.

He was having a great time With all the single girls At the wedding and stuff And I could tell his wife Wasn't that impressed And it was a bit awkward But I think sometimes

People just behave like that Particularly at weddings They're kind of hyper Everyone's dressed up Yeah They're seeing people They haven't seen in years They're

Kind of nostalgia They're going over All stories And I have to be honest You kind of like And this I'm not trying to be mean To you at and I have to be honest you kind of like and this I'm not trying to be mean to you at all

but I think that when you go to like like I don't ever want to feel like I'm looking after somebody do you know what I mean like let's say you and I went out together do you know what I mean

like you're kind of like a social butterfly so like we'll go out together and if we're at an event together we might like disperse for a while but like you don't want to feel like you're looking after somebody at an event

that's why we don't that's it yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but I have like I say I've been on the receiving end of feeling like that

having a boyfriend who when we went out I was the least interesting thing in that room to him and it was you know it was a tough pill

to swallow at the time it made me feel like a piece of shit it's not nice if it happens all the time I will agree with you no and that's why

I think you should say it fake leave fake leaving is always an option don't take anything big you know you're coming back couple of pillows some cutlery

but like it doesn't sound to me like the marriage like she's saying that the marriage is over it doesn't sound like that to me now now we don't know

what else is going on but that's I mean I wouldn't leave a marriage first, but listen, I've never been married. Folks, they're professional here. I don't think that there's, the necessity to fake leave

is just a bit annoying. Like if you have to pack a bag for him, then you're going to probably have to put the stuff away because you packed the bag. There's a lot of shit around that. Like I just, I just have a little chat with him.

But I might fake leave Spencer after the Dubai incident once he knows about it. I do feel like when people have kids, the fight for sleep is a very real thing. And also, I've spoken to friends before who said that one of my friends said she was going to leave her husband

when the babies first arrived because they were so sleep deprived. They were killing each other. Like, killing each other. Like, sleep deprivation, that's what they do in Guantanamo other. Like killing each other. Like sleep deprivation. That's what they do in Guantanamo Bay. It's actually torture. I was.

I was thinking about that on the flight. And I was like, imagine like being sleep deprived for like three days where you literally get not even a wink of sleep when they're torturing you. It would just be awful. Oh, it would be so bad. If I had a baby, I would literally shoot it out of the canal and then hand it to the wet nurse and be like, take it to boarding school. When it's in a pattern, bring it back. That's what I would say. Please take my baby.

I'd actually, I'd wake up to the sound of crying downstairs. I'm like, what is that noise? Joanne will have just, she'll have let herself in, left the baby there and all. There's a newborn baby under the peloton. what is that noise? Joanne will have just, she'll have let herself in, left the baby there and all of a sudden, like, oh. There's a newborn baby under the peloton. Does anyone know where that came from?

Sorry, Vogue, I'm off to New York on tour. Bye. I'm just sneaking off in an Uber. Hee hee. Thank you for sending your email. We really appreciate it

and we hope that you do feel better. I mean, not off the back of this, obviously. We're not that deluded, but in general, we hope you feel better. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. Thank you for listening

and please like and subscribe. Bye.