My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "I feel like we shouldn't be together at Christmas..."

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

Joanne & Vogue are back in the dressing room at The 3Arena in Dublin, for a little bit extra. Time to chat cowardly break ups and 'a kick in the gee'. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com/For more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player Original Podcast. Thanks for having me, Joanne. I'm absolutely thrilled. Thanks for coming in. What have you got? A book? What's happening? What are you promoting here? Well, actually, Spencer and Vogue are going on tour now that Ghost is... You should. You don't plug that enough on this. You should plug that more. Well, you came to the show. Do you know what? I think...

That's enough. I think it's like with our show, people weren't really... Like, they didn't know what to expect. And like, they don't know what to expect and like they don't know what to expect with Svenny and I because we just abuse each other on the podcast yeah

so we do a little bit well I have two points one is live podcasting like the tours are new territory so no one knows what to expect

and no one knows what they're doing yeah what I would say is having seen the Spencer and Vogue live show and I was

I was emotional when I saw it but obviously I'd taken a drink. What was real emotion what wasn't to this we'll never know. But I enjoyed it so much. Do you remember the messages I sent to you after?

Yeah. Like gushing. I was just I say proud and I don't mean that to sound condescending. I just mean that's what I mean. And

seeing you go from like thanks for explaining it so much to them seeing you go from never having done stage stuff like that to the joy

that was the Spencer and Vogue show I was like this woman can do anything and I just loved it so much I was like your little

your little baby you were when you took me on stage for the first time I know and then and then you set me free stage for the first time. I know. And then you set me free.

I know you don't, you won't like to admit this, but I was kind of your mentor for about three weeks. I was. Folks started her career in, well, arenas. Joanna's made me a comedian, and now she's deeply regretting that decision. I will see you at the commissioner's desk in Netflix vying for our specials.

No, but seriously. It's a fun show. It's a really good show. And I just, I loved it. And, but the thing that you've such a nice dynamic with him,

as much as it saddens me, because I will kill him eventually. Yeah. So that we can live our own lives. Don't worry. We're nearly finished there. I've already eyed up the space in the garden he's going to go into. I'm not putting him in the garden. We'll dust him somewhere. Yeah, you're right. Let's burn him. We'll dust him somewhere he'd absolutely hate.

We'll take him to, I don't know, like... I would take him to Toby Carvery because he doesn't like the idea of it. Does he not? I mean, he doesn't like a Carvery, so I think there's something unnatural about him. We'll take him to the Beaumont House. They do the best Carvery so I think there's something unnatural about him we'll take him to the Balmont house they do the best Carvery

so only the best for Spence is this an ad the best that I just didn't get you're getting no money from Toby Carvery anyway we're going on tour

we're in Ireland next year we're doing our Irish tour next year put him in Ireland I hate that do you know what I'll dust him on the cliffs of Hoth he would hate that that's where dust him on the cliffs of Hoth he would hate that

that's where he's going the cliffs of Hoth he's like I'll have to go over to those potato people now because my wife's from there oh god I'll stuff Winnie

and then I'll put him in Winnie he would really hate that yeah like the yeah you're going to foie gras Winnie with Spencer

with Spencer that's a good idea but anyway yes we're on to where we start in March with Spencer with Spencer that's a good idea but anyway yes we're on tour we start in March in the Gaelic so we did three three Olympias

and then we're doing the Gaelic we're doing Cork and we're doing Belfast nice yeah it's a nice little run yeah it is yeah so we'd love to see you there what role do I play?

I think you could I would be pretty happy for you to we'll just nothing lights we'll just get sound I could mic you I wanted to tell you something, I would be pretty happy for you to, we'll just. Nothing lights. We'll just get. Sound. I could mic you.

I wanted to tell you something that I read about in the paper that I thought you'd love for some reason. Go on. A Saudi prince. Oh my God. Is this the falcon? The falcons. Yeah. Was he raising them or something?

I think 80 falconry is like a big thing over there. I would say it's because it's, it's quite epic, isn't it, falconry? They were just sitting there, they're probably shitting all over the place. I'd say it's a real kind of kudos, you know, signifier of wealth, I would say. To have a falcon. I met a falcon when I was in Spain recently.

You met a falcon. So I met a falcon in Spain. Just out and about. Just out and about. I swear to God, he was on the strip in Marbella. I'm not even joking you he had an owner

obviously handing out flyers for linoleums but I thought your man yeah I thought your man was like going around to get people

to take pictures of the falcon so basically because there's a big marina there with really expensive boats so what the falcon does is the falcon goes around

and murders all the seagulls and stuff like that so the seagulls don't shit in their boats so the falcon is a murdering falcon stop yeah that and murders all the seagulls and stuff like that so the seagulls don't shit in their boats so the falcon is a murdering falcon yeah that just kills all the seagulls well let's we just have to be clear all animals are murderers yeah that is true yeah you know what i mean none of them are like putting their prey down ethically yeah yeah i haven't met a vegan what i will say is a cheetah does it in quite a nice way.

They always go for the neck. And I think that that's quite pleasant. A hundred percent. But again, like it is, you know, still. Lions would eat a leg off first instead of just being like, I'll put it out of its misery. They've no etiquette. No. Lions are rude.

And we know that. So go on anyway. Your man's raising the falcons. So he's, this fella is bringing all the falcons on the plane. It was on a flight in the United Arab Emirates. This is normal in the Middle East. It's not unusual at all because it's such a popular sport over there the falconry is a sport i'm not really sure what they do in the sport what do they do hold on a second how is it a sport they just wear an oven glove and send them off and then bring

them back they go off and collect bits i'd say and bring them back like an assault course yeah it's like a little yeah would you like to hear other weird shit that people have brought on They go off and collect bits, I'd say, and bring them back. Like an assault course. Yeah. It's like a little, yeah. Would you like to hear other weird shit that people have brought on planes? A man was trying to bring 35 pounds of liquid cocaine into the US via shampoo bowls. That's just dealing. 35 pounds of liquid. I didn't even know cocaine could be liquid.

That's just mewling, really. How is cocaine a liquid? Oh did he melt did he melt it down and then rebuild it like a candle? Joke. Google it there. So a passenger was held at the gate

when they rocked up with their emotional support boa constrictor snake. Was I not talking about the emotional support hedgehog last week? There was a hedgehog and there was something else

that someone brought on. The crocodile. Remember? Someone tried to bring a crocodile in somewhere as an emotional support animal. I could be like Alan's an emotional support person. I could be like,

Alan's an emotional support person, I'm not paying for him. Do you know what I mean? Very true. Where does it end? Where's the line? So a female Twilight fan had to pay extra to be allowed to board a plane with life-size cutouts of Jacob and Edward,

the vampires from that movie. What's it called again? She had to pay. Twilight, Twilight. She had to pay extra. She was taking up a seat with cardboard cutouts where are you going to put

a cardboard cutout do you know where you would do you know where you would in one of your bags they'd fit in one of your bags I'd just be occupied wouldn't have to do anything with that

I feel like I had something to say. Just, we have a WhatsApp group called Ghosted Pod Topics where we just throw in a line here, a line there, maybe an article, something we'd like to talk about on the pod. It's been quiet of late

due to the arena shows, I have to say. Yeah. But Bo just randomly last night at half eleven just came into the group, kicking the gig. And I'd like to know more. Well, I'm glad you asked because it's a very interesting story. That's why I invited you on the podcast today. Yeah, I only want to talk about it.

I invited you on to my podcast because I knew that you were raising awareness for kicking in the gig. And I want to know. I want to know more about it. Tell me, Bo, tell me. Who doesn't like a little kick in the ghee what you tell me I'm just going to say

I will kick you in the ghee as soon as we stand up this is so I was we were talking to more false promises Una our director one of her friends

was discussing a story about her how her sister got kicked in the ghee about something actually physically kicked in the ghee physically kicked in the ghee

for like kind of put out of your misery no just kicked in the ghee brought something actually physically kicked in the gi physically kicked in the gi for like kind of put out of your misery no just kicked in the gi brought down a peg or two is it that like kind of oh I kicked him in the gi last night

have you never been kicked in the gi I honestly cannot say that I not that I remember and I feel like that would be a special moment in my life

that I would do your diary or you know that I would jot down I remember I have two gi stories for you. Oh, God.

We've been doing this pod for two years. How has it taken this long? So the first key story I have for you is that Amber and I, when we were growing up, and like,

you know the way you used to beat your sibling up? Like, we would grab each other's legs and boot each other in the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we would do that. But also, my friend Johanna,

when we were away on our J1 in America which is like a visa you get for anyone English listening in Ireland where you can all

go to America for a while and we went on the piss and she punched me in the gi but I actually had a bruise oh well I've obviously

been punched in the gi who hasn't been punched in the gi it's like it's on our rider quick translation remind us the English what a gi is

gi is a vagina Joe is a gi or in Wales a foof a foof my first selfie calls him a foof which I think is quite sweet

I know we still I still haven't decided what to tell Gigi it is it's her front bum or her gi front bum is not acceptable I know

my mum was like front bum I was like this feels wrong at bath time I'm like stand up and I'll wash you will you in your bum

and then Gigi I'm like stand up and I'll wash your bum I just think I and then Gigi I'm like stand up and I'll wash your bum I just think I just think tell her it's not real and just really

fuck her up just be like that's nothing because I'm not mentioning anything she's like my willy and I'm like

no no no no you don't you don't have one of them just give her an old school Irish rearing and be like dirty dirty

you're dirty wrong wrong you're a wrong mention it okay I've got that slit should not be there oh Jesus Christ

sorry sorry remember we did that show on E4 and she was like I don't want to call it a vagina I want to call it

or was it you calling it a womb portal or was she calling it a womb portal? And she said that vagina means somewhere to like land your dick

and she was like I don't like that. And I was like well that kind of makes sense to me. You remember your one Womb portal does sound familiar.

I don't know if she said womb portal or you said womb portal but I quite like womb portal. Womb portal yeah. I was thinking of But I quite like Womb Portal Womb Portal Yeah I was thinking of Calling my next show

Womb Raider Why? Dunno It just rhymes With Tomb Raider And But maybe It's a bit annoying

That you have to think Of another name Because Prosecco Express Was really good Yeah well the only reason I enjoyed Prosecco Express Was because It suggested like

Fun And like Alcohol consumption Could you not Like call it something Like so we'd get loads only reason I enjoyed Prosecco Express was because it's it suggested like fun and like could you not could you not like call it something like because so we'd get loads because you got loads of Prosecco you could call it like Brian Thomas on the road or something so we could get loads of free clothes from Brian Thomas yeah the porch portal yeah yeah oh I also have some news oh sorry just because I saw

I feel like I had news yeah I know you've been saying that since before we started and I'm just waiting for the news did I not write I had something to say

I swear I did go on anyway em oh I'm going to the Panto soon but I just saw the email that's your news no but I've also so I haven't even gone to the Panto yet this year.

And you know how much I love organization. I've already booked my Panto for next year. 21st of December, 2024, matinee, booked. Thank you. Thank you very much. No, no, no, no, no. This just. You're jealous.

This suggests you should be in a back to front jacket and a padded top. You're jealous of it. I know you're jealous in a back to front jacket in a padded cell you're jealous of it I know you're jealous I have to I will say because when you everyone in your life kind of rubs off on you

if you spend time with them and I have to say I am a cleaner more organised person as a result of spending so much time with you that is true I'm glad I've shamed you

and I will tell you no no no no no no no no no there's no shame folk this is a shame free zone what i will say to you is i've never drank more in my entire life exactly ever i'm drinking again i was drinking on the last pot now i'm drinking on this pot i'm thinking on the tomato yeah exactly you've made me more organized and i've made you more crack joanne i wanted to say something to you but i just don't want joe to overhear. He doesn't hear it. He has been drinking a lot on this tour. Joe is choking to his nose.

He's like really lost the one of himself. I know. There was a bloody Mary at nine o'clock in the morning. Excuse me? All right, Prince. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, okay. He's sucking himself up now, removing one of his ribs. Unblock, unplug. The next thing.

Spenna would do that. he'd be one of those people that would do that I'd say there's a few Joe I don't know if you would Spano loves himself so much he wouldn't have to remove the rib

he would just make it work he would he would he would okay emails Vogue Joanne

what the fuck oh yeah let's go I like it already I met a lad this summer I'm 23 he's 26 and we've had the best time Emails. Vogue Joanne, what the fuck? Oh yeah, let's go. I like it already. I met a lad this summer. I'm 23. He's 26. And we've had the best time.

We've met each other's families and everything. He's not my usual type, but I came out of a two year relationship and that's when he dropped into my life. So I said, fuck it. There have been no regrets until now. That's what I said about Svenny. Not my type, but fuck it. Listen, I couldn't, I have.

I'm not even joking. Every man I'm with, I'm like Svenny. Not my type, but fuck it. Listen, I couldn't, I have... I'm not even joking. Every man I'm with, I'm like, this is not my type. I've no idea what my type is. No, I know you're a pretty boy. I don't slip through the net. I don't, well, do you know what? I don't like posh people. He slips through the net.

Do you know why? Because you want a bit of foreign, a bit of strange. That's exactly it. Yeah. We were watching a film of mine the other night and he just goes I'm sorry can we talk

I'm worried that I'm not being honest with you and I feel like we shouldn't be together at Christmas or words like that because I can't remember the exact crap he came out with

she blacked out you know and you kind of can't focus on what's being said because your head's spinning oh no I asked what the fuck he meant

and he was just like I think we can try again in the new year but it just doesn't feel right at the moment and i think we should be away from each other at christmas i went up the fucking wall of course and went full begging i hate when that happens pleading crying and shouting at the same time yeah i saw him once more since then but it was just weird and awkward like what am i meant to now? Just have a holly jolly time and wait for this lad to waltz back in in January? No. I think he's giving you, he's trying to give you the long goodbye.

He's trying to do something. He's trying to be kind. He's trying to be kind, but he's, he, I think, I think, I hate to be the one to say this, but I think he's broken up with you. And I think that you need to try and come to terms with the fact that he's a coward and couldn't do it properly. And I can say, because I just, I don't know. I get the impression, and because obviously me and Vogue talk a lot about men.

We love to talk about men. I, like, I don't get the impression you've been broken up with that much. I'm trying to rack my brain as to who has... Who me? Yeah. Oh no, I haven't, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I will take this. There was a couple... No, there was, Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I will take this.

There was a, no, there was, no. There was a couple. I will take this email. I'm just telling you, I have been broken up with people. Like since when? Like school? I haven't gone out with that many people. I'm always fucking married.

I haven't gone out with that many people either, but I can, I've a lot of people. I've actually gone out with loads of people. I haven't gone out with that many people. I'll count. One, two. Yeah. Four people. That's all I've actually gone out with loads of people I haven't gone out with that many people I'll count one, two four people that's all I've gone and I've married two of them

so there hasn't been and one of them broke up with me I'm just a loser who no one has ever wanted to go out with don't you dare try and spin it like that you

no but it is think I've been in long term relationships for like 12 years of my life and I'm only 26 so so I long-term relationships for like 12 years of my life and I'm only 26. So I,

when I, I've actually gone out, I've gone out with, I've had a lot of year-long relationships. They're long though. I think that's long. Yeah, they are, but I've really racked them up.

Oh no, the other fella dumped me, remember? Ghosted me. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But that wasn't a super serious thing though

you were kind of just messing around no excuse me sorry you sound like him you're like hey you stop calling me

what are you stressing about I was with him for like eight months was it that long yeah yeah no that was scabby what he did that was mean

so excuse me I've been dumped you have okay fine you're back in the chat thank you very mean so excuse me I've been dumped you have okay fine you're back in the chat thank you very much I just know I've been broken up

with so many times and now that I'm older I know looking back because I had a funny I had a funny stage with lads

which I'd spoken about before where they thought I was different to what I was like and then they got to know me they're like this isn't actually what I signed up for

and I was like so obviously once we started I'd been completely insane but because of that I've been I've

I've had to let the penny drop myself to be like oh he's actually just breaking up with me but doing it he's trying to be do it in bits

because everyone hates doing that to someone but yeah this is what this man is doing there's nothing you can do the more you fucking beg and fight back. Don't try not to beg.

The more he's going to go. But one thing I will say is. If it's not right, it's not right. And if it's not right for him, it means it's not right for you. That's it. But what I will say is because you always like to feel like

you've gotten a bit of your like self-respect back when something bad happened. Your power. You need the power. You need the power back. So she has done all the begging and stuff. Leave it. Even that guy that ghosted me

came crawling back and I said fine I will come back you went I'll be over in seven minutes I've been waiting three years for this text how dare you

I'll see you in seven minutes I haven't heard from you in four months but I will be over at 6.30 don't be late it's actually what happened

is it stop and then I got ditched again oh wow I don't even think I got ditched again. Oh wow. I don't even think I got the right the second time around. There's so much power playing going on and it's not even in a cruel way.

They're just doing it subconsciously. You can kind of regret things you're like oh god that person I should have actually given that a bigger go and then when they

take you back so quickly you're like actually no if they're not it's all it's just the mind playing tricks on you and I think being 23 like go and live a life

you're like you don't want to be you're not spending Christmas with him are you no you're not and at least you don't have to buy a Christmas present for him

there are no torsos I know but the pain of rejection is worse than anything I was thinking about this in the taxi

and I don't know why and I was thinking about heartbreak and how horrific and awful it is and it is the worst thing it's the worst feeling in the world

it is the worst and like we joke about it all the time but we honestly say as two women whose dads died my heartbreak that I've had over the years

was significantly worse and like that's the truth there's no rejection in death it's painful your father like

when someone you're in love with chooses to not that's all you see you're like I'm not good enough they've chosen not to be with me what's wrong with me blah blah blah

but actually if you can change your way of thinking do you know what you need to do go and fucking google therapist Jeff on TikTok I find him really helpful you need to change your way of thinking are you working for TikTok like is there something I've missed out on because you're always talking about the TikTok what are you talking about I went the news I need you to I need you I need you to help me I meant that psychology book that I was reading. She was reading The Guardian again. Oh, my thesaurus is beeping. Hold on. If you can change your way of thinking,

where if you can develop this almost like Buddhist thing of like, if it's not for me, it's not for me. And you just kind of, I know it's, I can say that. Because I would deal with that now. If that happened to me now,'d be like do you know what it's not right if it's not right for them it means it's not right for me

I want to be with someone who wants to be with me like all those things and you just need to get there with your head and the way to get through with your head is honestly

just watch loads of shit on TikTok about it and nice quotes nice quotes nice quotes watch some short TikTok psychology videos Esther Perel as well

Esther Perel all that get into the psychology of it and try like i mean light psychology obviously like you know bubblegum psychology and understand that it's not it's nothing is personal ever ever it's all about that well not just tiktok like if you if you think that like you're like that upset, therapy is amazing. It's so amazing. Oh my God. Therapy. Yeah.

I used to skip out of therapy when I was in my crisis point. And then by the time I got off the bus, I was sad again. But then the time that I was happy got longer and longer and longer the more I went. Yeah, I agree. And now I'm ecstatic all the time. We're thrilled. Thank you very much for listening to The Bonus. That's it, John John have you remembered it

or no no okay that's fine it was big news though it was really big news yeah it was something Joanna's really big news she just can't announce it yet

I can't remember she can't announce it yet she'll announce it next week yeah I'm going to pretend I just can't legally announce it yet but I honestly just have forgotten what it is something big though

something's coming I'm excited I am excited for it am I engaged or something what's happening no you're not engaged you're not engaged no no no anyway I'll get it

for next week I have used that silver shampoo in my hair I didn't know you know the purple shampoo for blonde people I didn't know you couldn't

Lee has just told me I could use it once a month I've used it four times in a row look my hair's gone grey I did know that I didn't know you couldn't leave as you're telling me I could use it once a month I've used it four times in a row look my hair's gone grey I did know that I didn't know that the purple shampoo it tones it like it's a toner basically I think so we were leaving you with that information thank you so

much for listening and never ever be grey would we not have ended on the psychology high of Esther Burrell we had to finish on a low I was just trying to give a bit of advice so nobody has to look like me folks trying to defend the fact she's gone completely grey

alright listen we'll see you next week bye Thank you.