My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "I told him I was 7 months pregnant."

Episode Date: April 10, 2024

Joanne is back from the US and she even considered getting into the psychic scene in LA... Almost. Meanwhile, Vogue is fainting in St Barts. WTF?If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me. It's a Wednesday. It's me, Joanne McNally, and it's yourself, Vogue Williams. I fainted this morning so we had a few drinks last night but I'm not like violently hung over but I don't know what happened I literally got up just to go to the toilet at like seven in the morning and I obviously stood up too fast full-on fainted and just fell on the floor it's funny it was like what what has happened what's wrong with you what's wrong and like it was the weirdest thing because I couldn't remember fainting I just knew I was on the floor what was it like what did you you just woke up and everyone was standing around it's a really weird feeling yeah I just literally I remember standing up and then I don't remember

blacking out but then I was on the ground I was like oh crap like my elbows were really sore because I'd landed on them but yeah really strange experience kind of liked it kind of like are you sure are you sure I've heard it's great crack I have spoken to some fainters before and they do say it is great crack it's my second time in my life fainting and I was like whoa are you sure it's not some sort of kind of brain shame or something? Well, I wasn't going there, but now that you've said it, I'm going to furiously start googling it

and seeing what's actually wrong with me. If that was me now, I'd be concerned that there was something else at play. Well, I wasn't until you brought it up, but now I'm thinking to myself, Jesus, do I need to get myself to a hospital immediately? I would find a neurologist and I would have a scan done.

Genuinely. Like you're getting on now. We can't just faint anymore. That's for kids. Let me faint. Let me faint in peace. I'm hoping it happens again today because I did find it thoroughly enjoyable.

You're a mother of three. You're probably like, I could do with the time out to be honest. Yeah. I saw some other guy faint before. We were recording. I did a podcast with Boots and I was recording that and there was a guy in the corner I did a podcast with Boots, and I was recording that.

And there was a guy in the corner, and I was kind of looking at him. I was like, God, all of a sudden, he doesn't look great. And I was just watching him. And then he fainted. And if you faint and you're not lying down, like, flat, you have to lie people flat, or else they'll start, like, having a fit. So I was watching this guy, and I was like, oh, my God, now he's having a fit.

Oh, my God, what the hell is going on? And then when we lay him out flat, he was grand. I mean, completely gray, but grand. Are you supposed to kind of fiddle with people who are having a fit? Yeah, they're having a fit when they're fainting because of the way the oxygen is. So you have to like just lay them out straight. Are you sure? I don't know, this all stinks to me now.

I think that lad is having a full-blown epileptic fit. No, no. I was sitting beside an actual doctor who I was interviewing at the time and he explained to the whole room. And you know what? I actually don't appreciate this. The fact that you would think that I've pulled this out of my arse. I know what to do with people when they faint. Okay. I just didn't know a seizure was part of the fainting experience, but look, it's a very long time since I've done it. I did it. I've didn't know a seizure was part of the fainting experience. But look, it's a very long time since I've done it. I did it,

I've done it one and a half times. Once I did it when I was in primary school because it was summertime and they still had us wearing these like Arran jumpers.

And we were in the church being embarrassed for something, I'm sure, being told we were shameful. I can't remember. And the heat and the shame

got to me and I had a little faint, but it was very gentle and no one really gave a shit. I don't think anyone ever even said anything. You didn't get to go home or anything? Not at all. There was nowhere to go.

My mother worked. But then another time I had, I went in to get my varicose veins looked at into this very tiny, small hot room and i had to take my pants down and stand like you know holding the bed while she examined the back of my legs and i got very woozy and i was like oh my god i think i'm gonna faint and i was kind of thrilled with the drama of it all and she said yeah no that happens a lot i was like would you not get a fucking fan in here or something but apparently it's right but i didn't actually go through with

the fainting i just dabbled with the idea and then got my shit together the only other time I did a fainting was when I was in this photo shoot when I was about 16 and obviously then you're too worried to ever like you just do whatever you're told and I was in this like wedding dress that was about half my size and this Russian woman had put me in it it was her wedding dress and she was literally like half my size, but she stuffed me into this dress and all the lights were on me and no one had offered me food.

And I was like 16 at the time. And I remember just being like, I don't know, something's not right. Something's not right. And then all this sweat just started pumping from my face and then I fainted. I'm a fainter. Jo, have you any fainting tidbits

for us ever had a faint for yourself? Would you enjoy a faint? I went to a sexual health clinic once when I was at uni and it's probably the only time I've ever had a blood test taken. They took blood out of me, but it was after I'd been

in all the other rooms and they'd done all the other things to me. So it was sort of the last straw and I came out a little bit floaty out of that last one. Yeah. But did you have anything?

What have you got? No, it was all clear. Don't worry.y out of that last one. Yeah. But did you have anything? What have you got? No, it was all clear. Don't worry. And it was many years ago. We haven't ridden in ages, Jo. I think I'm pretty, I think I'm pretty good to go. I think I would have copped

at this stage if you'd given me anything. Jo's like, don't worry, girls. I'm in the clean. In the clear, not the clean. I'm in the clear.

Thank God. Thank God. Well being. Yeah. That was the last night of the three arena, wasn't it? The three of us just got stuck in. We just didn't know where to put the energy. We're like one little ride.

What's a little ride between friends? Do you remember that, Jo? Do you remember? Oh dear. Do you remember? Do you ever think... And Jo was on top. Of course he was.

Like we'd ever be on top, for God's sake. We just lay down. Anyway, glad to know you're in the clear. Sorry about that. Go on. I feel like I'm going to faint again. I honestly, I was like, do you ever think about, well, maybe it doesn't happen to you guys,

but do you ever like see someone and you're like, oh no, I'd really like, I wouldn't like to wake up naked with that person. Like I see Donald Trump and I'm like oh god what would I do the next day if I accidentally woke up naked and I was naked beside Donald Trump like things like that really infect my mind and I kind of feel like

that about you too I don't ever want to think please I don't ever want to have sex with either of you I was wondering where that Trump story was going do you ever get that trying to keep track of the loops and twists there Trump story was going. Do you ever get that? Trying to keep track of the loops and twists there.

But I see where we got to. What are you suggesting? Sorry, me and Joe have a lot of sexual chemistry. When you go back to your family, me and Joe stay on here for hours. Don't we, Joe? And why are we in the same category

as Donald Trump? Yeah, that's so insulting. Because I'd be so, I'm sorry. I know it's insulting, but you are, because I really wouldn't want to have to wake up naked beside either of you.

I'd find it really disturbing. Well, Donald Trump is quite the comparison. Joe, you're Trump. I'm valid. Thanks. Yeah. I get it with loads of people, like that man who goes along the beach

in some parts in his knickers. I'm like, oh no, oh no. And I don't know why. It's not like it's ever going to happen. But I'm like, what if I got so fucked up one night that I end up with the G-Banger, man? I just don't want to do that. No, of course. But I've had that experience with men that I have had sex with.

Which is terrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and you're like, the next time you meet, you're like, what was that about? And no offense. I don't mean to be mean to anyone that I've slept with. But anyway, back to Fainting. yeah yeah yeah you know and you're like the next time you meet you're like what was that about and no offence I don't mean to be mean to anyone that I've slept with but

anyway back to fainting actually being as we're talking about Jo this is a good one for you actually someone tagged me in a game card a game of cards

that's going around you know these kind of like I think they're you know they give these kind of quizzes like Shag Mary I think the game is Shag Mary Kill

right oh I love those games for you the question the three names on the card were Maura Higgins, Vogue Williams, Joanne McNally. Jo go shag shag marry kill now there's a good one for you Jo. Okay go on Jo be very careful I feel like any any which way I answer this is probably going to get me cancelled no I know I know there's a way that you could answer it that would make both myself and Joanne happy

well I don't want to ride you again I didn't have I didn't have the best time the first time so I'm happy to I'm happy to skip kill both of us but if you don't kill

Maura Higgins we're in serious trouble here because that is very telling you need to kill her I'd ride Maura Higgins obviously oh over us two

definitely are you mad yeah but then that would leave me with marrying one of you and killing the other and

any which way that's gonna that's gonna end our sort of professional relationship Joanne doesn't really mind things like that she wouldn't mind like she doesn't mind

if like a flight's delayed or something I don't think she'd mind if you killed her I'm happy to get killed just get the vibe off you make it painless like some

send me to Dignitas don't throw me off a cliff something light something peaceful just slowly put the formaldehyde isn't that what they told on the

tablecloth that they used to do in the 60s and just I'm happy I'm happy to tag out this time Jo you live your life

yeah but you're not married so it's messier isn't it because it involves Vogue and I getting divorced are you telling me

you want to kill are you telling me you want to kill a woman with three children no I'm not saying that. That's just what you said. Why would you get cancelled? Sorry, Vogue, is my life not worth your life because I don't have children?

Is that what you're saying? Well, Joanne, if I am really serious, I'm not letting you get killed. You're my cash cow. I'm not letting you get killed. Maura's gone. She was gone in the first sentence to me. I'm thinking about this from a sort of admin point of view. I think Joanne would be easier to be married to, if I'm honest. She'd give you an easy life. I just fucking give age

you all the time. You'd never see me Jo. It would be the most peaceful marriage of your entire existence because you're not staying over in the flat. No. There's no room for you here now. Maybe meet up once a month. You're not allowed to do that. If you're taking the marriage, it has to be a marriage. You can't just decide what you're doing. Jo's coming to live with you in your home.

What are you talking? You sacked off your first marriage. You're not, you don't believe in marriage either. You didn't even stay married. You can't tell me rules about marriage. Yeah, but I had to live in the same house as him

for fucking years. It was a nightmare. Exactly. So you're saying that basically because you struggled, I have to struggle. I don't. Me and Jo will live separate lives. Joanne, that's what marriage is about.

Okay? And if you are taking the plunge with Jo, you will do everything that a marriage entails. We've got a few emails this week. We could look at some emails. We could build a tunnel like Helena Bowman Carter did. She built a tunnel. She lived in her own house

and then built a tunnel into her husband's house now they have since separated even with the tunnel well the tunnelling didn't work for them then obviously the tunnelling

no what we've learnt here is RIP Maura Higgins but I don't want to have sex with Jo that's not fair to push that on me tough shit

I'm not going on top Jo so don't even think about it I'm not doing it we're doing it from behind oh Jesus fuck around there was a lot of psychic shops in

LA and I really did debate going in, but I was like, I just can't take it seriously. But there's, they're big into it over there. Big into it over there. I would have been in and out, spending all my money listening to like, if I have any kind of a problem,

I'm like, gotta talk to my psychic girl. Yeah, I would have liked the kind of company, to be honest, but. Okay. Hi, ladies. Went to see a psychic in a town in Ireland. He shited on for 20 minutes, told me he didn't see any children in my near future.

And at the end, he asked how accurate my reading was. I told him I was seven months pregnant. I hid it well. He apologized and let me leave without paying. That's so funny. I've never heard of anyone calling their bluff like that I can't believe he let her leave without paying that is I can't believe he didn't spin it into something else like do you know what I mean oh sorry I meant pregnant again the spirits I already knew you were pregnant. That was obvious. Like usually they spin it into something else.

Someone sent me a story about, it was in the paper, I must find it, about a psychic who told a young, told a girl

that her husband was going to, and this woman really believed in this stuff, that her husband was going to die young. So her whole life she was just like really devastated

that she was going to lose her husband young. She said it really fucked her up. I think think that's well they're not supposed to say things like that but what I will say is I once was speaking to a girl that I really like talking to and she does tarot card readings and she was like to me oh you're pregnant and I was like I'm not pregnant I literally just did a test and she's like no you're pregnant and it's a girl and I was like I'm not pregnant like I literally did a test three weeks later pregnant with Gigi thank you yeah I mean you looked like a woman trying to get pregnant you were had all the wide legs and off do you remember you had the wide on walking with the

wide the wide gate which is what happens when you're I did have a waddle I did have a waddle the part of the psychic thing that I think is lovely is just to feel like someone sees you for like whatever the reading 40 minutes an hour just to have that kind of someone seeing you or advice I suppose there's comfort it does it unless unless they tell you your husband's gonna die at 40 or whatever if it's good news give me the good stuff they're not supposed to give you shitty news like that by the way so that's a bad psychic but I just think it's nice if you're if like I always find if you're in a really bad patch of your life like I went I was going through something really difficult and I spoke to this girl Penny who I speak to sometimes and I swear to god she just kind of made me feel like more settled with

everything and like yeah I kind of had like a little I see it as a kind of manifesting I nearly read a book on manifesting can you believe it I think it nearly read a little, I see it as a kind of manifesting. I nearly read a book on manifesting. Can you believe it? I think it might be for me. Nearly read a book? Well, because you know the way I was like, I'm not into manifesting. I'm not into manifesting.

I think it might be an interesting, like, like positive thing to be doing. Yeah. I got, I did a shout out for psychic stuff because, well,

I just, I like doing shout outs. And this guy, one of them was so funny he said that he went to do went to get a reading the psychic picked up a card

it was like the frog card I don't know I can't remember and she went oh well looks like you're not going to die indoors and then just put it down and went on with the reading

and didn't explain anything else about what she had said and he was like excuse me where am I going to die yeah looks like you're not not gonna die indoors would you want to know right would you want to know if someone could tell you where and when you were gonna die would you want to know no absolutely not oh god i would no no no no no no no no no

no no no no next email hello ladies my mom has adored and worshipped one particular music icon No. No. No. Next email. Hello, ladies. My mom has adored and worshipped one particular music icon her whole life. Can I guess? Okay. Okay. Guess. You had three guesses. Do it now.

Rod Stewart. That's one. Give us another guess. Krista Berg. A music icon. Have you not heard a space man come traveling? Okay. Well, no.

I've only actually heard Lady in Red. But anyway, next person. I'm going to go large. David Bowie. christopher to david bowie like i won't anyway okay um we'll fast forward to maybe a year after he passed oh so he's dead and we all we also had a death in our family around this time and my mom and aunt decided to go to a meeting up in draughta while seeing them uh there were a few things she definitely hit in the head regarding what was going on in life at the moment um and then she started saying that there was a male figure present who is telling her that he had taken a piece of my mom's heart when he passed suddenly my mom sitting in confusion racking her brain as to who she could possibly be talking

about couldn't put the pieces together no haven't lost any man recently who broke my heart with his passing. He's showing me a photo. Is there a photo you always look at? Nope. Well, he's showing me records. He's looking through music. Is there a song that reminds you of this person? Now, bear in mind, my mom has photos of this icon up in the house, her wallpaper on her phone, Now, bear in mind, my mom has photos of this icon up in the house. Her wallpaper on her phone. Her ringtone tattoo. The list.

No, it's not Elvis. The list goes on. She even wanted a wallpapered mural to take to the guest bedroom. Crazy frog. I will not accept answers like that. Okay? I will. Okay. I have taken a break from the email.

You have one more guess. But you're cheating. I'm trying. I'm just going to Google it down. What are you possibly Googling? I have taken a break from the email You have one more guess But you're cheating What are you possibly googling? Dead singers Oh yeah that shouldn't take too long Okay go I can't wait to hear

Male singers See who comes up first Is it Buddy Holly? When did she say he died? Well the penny The penny dropped Everyone well two packs the penny dropped the people everyone knows

two packs Michael Jackson everyone knows you're close but not close enough am I well no actually you're

complete Prince no Freddie Mercury of course Freddie Mercury Freddie Mercury loads of dead

people here there's only one person one man that had passed that could have broken her heart the one the only george michael of course george i actually do you know i actually kind of forgot he had passed away need to say my mom ran down the m50 to get home to tell us that George himself had taken time out of his day to visit her. Absolutely delighted. Thank you so much for listening to the bonus from myself and Joanne.

And we will see, and Jo, sorry, and Jo, and George. We absolutely loved chatting to you bye for now Bye.