My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "I was kink shamed... By my boyfriend... And his friend."

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

We all know that MTGM is a kink-shaming-free zone, so what's this messer doing kink shaming his own partner??? Plus, knowing your worth, having a couple of drinks and going to meet that fella, because you're 100% good enough!If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/MTGM is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! For tickets, merch and more, visit mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue, and her, Joanne. Her, Joanne. Big news, Joanne. Oh. I have no idea why, but this story really reminded me of you is it the howl in port marnock no no no i don't think we should talk about that right now i think that there's so much more to discuss on that yeah i need to do a deep dive i'm not really sure someone thought there

was an alien on the port marnock beach and then some random word i'm meteorite i used to though actually i'm gonna tell the. It's too embarrassing. Go on. When we were younger, like this girl lived around the corner from us. And like, there was like a piece of like a little bit of plastic on our floor. And she had us convinced that it was Merlin, this wizard who had left the piece of plastic on our floor.

And we would go for weeks and go and look at this piece of plastic. Merlin? Thinking Merlinlin the wizard the old english guy the wizard some wizard had left it there we believed it in house it was in port marlin at the time kids are thick kids are thick my mother told me she dyed her hair gray and i believed her she had a full car but i had gray hair and she used to wear My mother used to wear It was the 80s Early 90s Floor length

Pink Plastic Not plastic Like kind of crap Almost Raincoat With black polka dots All over it

And a really buzz cut Tight grey Haircut She was fucking savage But actually I was going to say That sounds quite cool And she used to eat

Half a grapefruit for breakfast Which of course Is problematic now That's what My she used to eat half a grapefruit for breakfast, which of course is problematic now. That's what I, my mum used to do that as well. They were all on the grapefruit diet. Anyway, and she had a full rug of grey hair, like really good quality, but grey. And I was like, what happened?

Because it looked like she'd been spooked. It was so bright. She saw a ghost. And she was like, she's like, I died of it. And I believed her. She lied. She lied to me. Terrible. Of course she did. So the story like, I died of it. And I believed her. She lied. She lied to me. Terrible.

So the story I wanted to tell you about. Sorry, go on. A pig. Yes. I love pigs. A feral pig. Oh, I ate a pig

the other day. Listen, I'm trying my best. Okay, I'm trying my best to go off the pig. But sometimes when I'm hung over, it's when I'm attracted

to the pig. You know, it's like saying I ate the arm of Otto anyway go on it's not the same Joanne it's not the same

it is I put him on a barbecue and ate him no I didn't I put an apple in Otto's mouth and fucking spun him around okay okay sorry

and then garnished him with celery and potatoes what about the chickens we're not going down there I told you no you just throw a bit of rosemary and thyme on the chicken

and it's fine go on yeah so a pig went feral. No, sorry. A feral pig went on a crazed rampage at a campsite in Western Australia after having one too many beverages. He basically stole 18 beers and drank them because pigs will eat anything, as I told you. And they would eat you, by the way.

Yeah. They would eat you. And not in a sexual way, not in a nice way, in a mean way, a dead way. And he went and beat up a cow. Got absolutely deranged, went and beat up a cow. I've backpacked around Australia. That sounds exactly like Western Australia. Not them in particular.

I just mean when you're camping, you're heavy drinking, you do shit like that. Do you know what I mean? You're on one. Well, the cow got it. We're backstage in the Apollo in Hammersmith we're about to do our first ghosted live at the Apollo

I had a little bit of a pinch me moment outside when you saw the room yeah well when I saw the room but when I even saw our name outside the front

I was like oh my god it's absolutely gorgeous that's amazing so I know that I've spoken about Drake before right and I will say about Drake

I do enjoy his music is this the bras oh for fuck's sake like seriously grow up it's so pathetic like

disgusting also some girls like if you're gonna throw your bra don't throw a good bra there's really nice bras there bras are like $60

and stuff in America and also sorry there's nothing sexual like there's nothing sexual about throwing a bra at someone's head.

If I was going to throw something sexual, I'd throw, like, a used condom or, like, a tampon. Something that's, like, has a bit of my body on it, not a fucking bra. It's like throwing a glove on stage. Who cares? Because your tits sat in it for an hour or two. Who cares? Throw the knickers. Throw the knickers with a bit of boursin.

Throw them off. Yeah. Throw your Philly knicks. He wants the Philly knicks. Your knickers have lived a life. with a bit of boursin throw them off yeah throw your filly nicks he wants the filly nicks your knickers have lived a life your bra's done

fucking nothing it's done nothing you don't even need to wash your bra I wash my bra once a month exactly some of them

I've never washed ever and they're fine if you're gonna throw anything at us please throw knickers that's what we want he's like a 14 year old with a photo of him with all the brass he's absolutely cringe but he is cringe like a virgin

he's like a lad he's ridden three times like grow up can you imagine i actually i to be honest i don't know drake personally no me neither but i wouldn't like to now with the state of that photo i mean that photos and bits i in bits. Do you know what? I don't even think if I saw him I'd ask him for a picture. There you go. I actually went and found out other times that he was a goofball

because remember we did that before but there's actually more. I think a goofball is you're being kind, but go on. Our spoofer of the week. Remember we were going to do spoofer of the week. We did that for a week

when we started, yeah. We haven't done that since 2005. Go on. Well then, now Drake is our spoofer of the week. We did that for a week when we started. Yeah, we haven't done that since 2005. Go on. Well then, now, Drake is our news. He's bringing it back. He's our spoof of the week. He once wore a t-shirt that said if assholes could fly,

this place would be an airport. What? Fucking loser. You're wearing the shirt. Like, what are you talking about? Oh. He rearranged his album release date so that it was on the same day

as Doja Cat. Now, I would do, that's fair. I would do that. Do you not like Doja Cat? Well no, it's nothing to do with her but I see him,

he used to go out with her or something, did he? I don't think he used to go out with her. He just wanted to try and beat her in the chart. Well I do, now that's a bit of pettiness which we do hugely support.

Do you know why though? Why? It's because he couldn't get her fucking Brad. That's why he's trying to eclipse her on her release date. No he wouldn't do it. And he puts on these accents. Is he coming tonight Jo? Because he's not welcome backstage no he can't

don't give him a respite I'll tell you what though he did a song with Central Sea who I love Central Sea yeah somebody tell Doja Cat oh yeah I want to indulge in that yeah he's sick excuse me I am a rapper do you know what do you not know what I do have you never seen me on the running machine I open up my phone I get the lyrics up and as the song is going you do it on spotify and i learn lyrics because i am a rapper you are but he he does freestyles with central c and he keeps doing like a jamaican accent in it and it's like drake you're canadian oh i know it's just a bit like cringe i don't like i mean i'd like to say in Jamaican as well because it's so cool the bras didn't put a great taste to my mouth

to be honest no he's so fucking strange it's like me sitting there with a load of fucking cock straps or something like what it's so cheap have you ever got

anything thrown at you em bottle of piss once at Oxygen did you no I wasn't in the biz in Oxygen

I've never had anything thrown at me Jess Bishop messaged me the other day yeah with that story about the red wine had anything thrown at me Tess Bishop messaged me the other day yeah with that story about the red wine in Portugal I thought you'd be

heartbroken about that and he was like did you take a piss in Portugal I was like oh touche Tess touche so

do you not know the story so there was some brewery some red wine brewery burst in Portugal so like this town in Portugal it was just like straight like rivers like brewery some red wine brewery burst in Portugal so like this town in Portugal was just like straight

like rivers like tides of red wine 600,000 gallons like just war dogs down the street yeah 600,000 gallons Des

like did you take a piss I was like I'm very funny well done Des that's a good we'll give you that we'll give you that okay we do some emails okay

hey girls remember when you talked kink shaming? Yes. Don't kink shame. No, we don't kink shame. No, we don't. It was probably

a lifetime ago. It came up for me because I was kink shamed by my boyfriend and his friends. Ew. I know, weird. Why the fuck is his friend?

Like, what is going on here? I have a real thing, right? I don't want to know about like, and I've always been like this, like, I don't want to know about like a current boyfriend or current like this I don't want to know about like a current boyfriend

or current husband's past sex life no it's not great and I don't want them to know about mine either I don't think anyone does no I never think

it's a good idea no one's like on how deep we're in Sandra no one wants to know that shit why did you have to say Sandra

oh sorry that's my mum's name no I didn't know Spencer went out with your mum I didn't know I didn't I'm name No I didn't know Spencer Went out with your mum I didn't know I didn't

I'm so sorry I didn't Realise that But seriously Some people do that And I'm like Immediately And like

It's self harm I don't want to know Because I don't want to hear it And I don't want him to hear About my various Millions of sexual encounters Exactly Hundreds of dirty

Little whore times I've had Exactly I don't want him to hear that Hang on Yeah You've lived a life. I have. You've got a sporty past.

Yeah, I do. It's their new term, sporty. Yeah. A friend of ours' father said he used to call kind of promiscuity but like she's quite sporty. So it's our new thing. That's nice, I think.

Yeah. I'm very sporty. It's very sporty. Well, you could be sportier now. I'm really sporty. No, you could be sportier. I'm really sporty No you could be sportier I don't think I could be sportier Well we're talking about

We're talking about like Multiple partners Oh I could be way sportier Exactly Yeah I could be like Way more Usain Bolt Yeah yeah yeah Exactly

Miss the boat on that We talked about our sex life And things we like We've been together for six years So how is this only coming up now? I said I'd like to do A bit of tying up You know yourselves

I do Yeah A little bit of a bit of tying up you know yourselves I do yeah a little bit of a what's it called your dressing gown great the rope on the dressing gown tie him up

so you can go out with your mates yeah tie him up and they're like my Uber's here he said he'd feel I'm off to Wrigley Gains

he said he'd feel really weird about that and it would be embarrassing he then told his friend A female Sorry oh sorry Can I just Sorry

She wants him To tie her up Yeah Yeah okay fine yeah I don't Any bit of tying up Would be nice Whether it's him or her

Yeah but I was wondering Because if he didn't want To be tied up himself But like asking to be tied up Come on That's like basic All you do is Fucking use your hands

And the bedpost Like get over yourself Yeah a little bit. Get those little plastic, what are they called? Handcuffs. He said he'd feel really weird about that and it would be embarrassing. He then told his female friend. Oh, wow.

Oh, sound. About it when she came over and they both took the piss for a good hour. I felt like a right wanker. That's bullshit. That's, she's not still with him is she I don't know if I should talk to him

or just let it go talk to him or just let it go leave him that or leave the bastard and find some dirty fucker who'll tie me to my bed

who knows leave him no I don't think you should leave him go on one of those sites where you don't use your face I don't think what are those sites Jo

you know the kink sites what are the kink sites there's one called field isn't it field go on field get yourself on field i'm sorry now grand you don't want to tie me up but slag me off to your friends yeah good luck good night and good luck no that's really weird that's a red car i don't think it's a red car but i don't think it's a dumping situation but i think that like i wouldn't like i wouldn't actually I'd feel less comfortable in bed with them I yeah okay I would like no no no there's like a bit that's a there's a trust issue now that's been broken that can never be repaired exactly like I'm you're slagging me off like you sorry now in fairness we've all slagged off people that we've slept with but you do it behind their

back not their face I don't care it's good to do it behind their back to your friends I'll tell you what I don't care who slags me off just don't do it to my face i'd rather not hear it exactly off but like just exactly but slag happily but not to my face like there's fucking rules like it's called manners i think that that though is like like anything to do with something sexual if somebody was like passing on information that i didn't want i'd be really pissed off no no no yeah no that would be that would be a deal breaker for me now I have to say you can say I'm a great ride though I would be happy about that

if I'd asked Alan for something and then his female friend came over and they were laughing at me like no like no no

hey girlies I'm just going to go straight in no kissing and ask for advice here I'm 28 and single now for 4 years

I've been on Tinder and Bumble dates but shock horror I had no luck not even messing when I say boys are arseholes we don't support that

we have 3 male listeners and we'd like to keep them out of it we don't want to piss them off I had given up all up but drunk last week i

slid into a phallus dms on insta i'd love to say i was really cool and mysterious i told him the most stupidest joke i could think of and to my surprise he replied the next morning a week on and we're still texting every day sending voice notes and videos getting on great but here's the thing he's so far out of my league it's not even funny he's a verified sports person in his mid-30s so good looking and has his life together my dream man but i feel like i'm genuinely not anthony joshua anthony joshua must be him not good enough for him who's anthony j? Oh my God. He's a babe. Anthony Joshua's a boxer. Gorgeous. Oh my God.

Gorgeous. Really? Yeah, he's huge. A lot of footballers on Raya. Really? Yeah. Of course there are. Fucking masters. He asked me to meet him this weekend

and thankfully I have plans but I know it's not, I know it's going to come up again. I do really want to but I'm scared. I'm so scared it's not even normal. Have you any advice or motivation

to give me a kick up the arse to meet him? I'm terrified he'll think I'm rotten in person. Oh even normal have you any advice or motivation to give me a kick up the arse to meet him I'm terrified he'll think I'm rotten in person oh my god first of all stop being a dick to yourself

have two drinks before you go on the date you'll be in great form put a bit of tan on I've heard a great one bare by Vogue put a bit of tan on and

then you'll feel great do your hair do your makeup and be like confident in yourself he wouldn't be asking you out let me finish the email let me finish the email

have you any advice or motivation to give me a kick up the arse to meet him I'm terrified I don't think I'm rotten in person I wish I could have like eight months

to tone up get some filler and I'd be good to go but I know that's not realistic I'm usually quite cocky so I don't know what's gotten into me and I know I'm just

shooting myself in the foot here but if I do meet him and it goes tits up I'll have lost the sexiest man I've ever spoken to please help love the pod you please just go out with him if anything just for us I went out with this guy again I met him on Instagram again a blue ticker sorry we should also flag I don't know who this guy is but you say blue tick people can buy them now so oh that is true okay before they could buy them I went out with a blue ticker And for some reason I got it in my mind

That he was just way cooler than me Yeah And then I actually went out With him and I was like Actually You're a fucking sap Yeah you're a sap Yeah

Choked him in the bin And also After he ghosted me I rejected him Straight after he rejected me Yeah Precisely Psych

No comebacks Jinx Thanks I've done that as well where you're like oh god and i've actually in my own head kind of talked myself out of stuff where everyone thinks you're you think you're less attracted than you are you're more attracted than you are always and also it doesn't matter you're having fun with him he obviously likes you yeah you're making him laugh he's having the crack with you i think making someone laugh is the most powerful

aphrodisiac there is. A hundred percent. I mean, look at the state of spending. I'm only with him because he's got a good personality. I have laughed absolute belters into the sack. Hold on.

Is belters hot or not? Belters are hot. Yeah, I mean something different in the UK. No, a belter is a hot. If you can make someone laugh, you can literally hear their knickers drop.

Yeah, that's so true. Telling you. Look at Pete Davidson. Anyone would go for him oh exactly but like we're not even saying you're not we don't know what you look like like we're not gonna tell we're not gonna say yeah you should get filler like we're not that's not the message the message is this guy is obviously interested in you the most attractive thing is confidence and being funny i think just keep being yourself he obviously likes that and that's who he wants

to go meet exactly and you know and fucking stand up for yourself and turn up for yourself and don't turn up with your tail

between your legs of like he's much more attracted to me I'm not being bad he's a sportsman he's probably thick as shit yeah

do you know what I mean I'm being serious yeah they're not renowned for their intelligence or personalities please go for it and let us know how it goes and you're not renowned for their intelligence or personalities please go for it and let us know how it goes and you're not gonna marry this dude what did john she's not come on he's a sports guy come on oh my god i'm not the crack with them excuse me no lots of people

marry sports people like who i don't know tiger woods it's a great example yeah mario will be taking a golf club to his Fia Punto in about 10 years. I don't know. Think of one. I don't know. Someone. I just mean

they're not the most reliable characters in the world. Have a bit of crack with them. Go for it. Do it. Use them to boost your ego. Do you know what I mean?

He's obviously an accomplished man. He's very attracted to you because you're sound deadly and funny. Don't let yourself not go because you feel bad about yourself. You sound deadly and funny don't let yourself not go because you feel bad

about yourself you're deadly and just be yourself and go he's probably got the IQ of a pigeon Jesus Joanne really doesn't like

this person that she doesn't know everyone thank you so much for listening we will be back with the main episode on Friday in other news oh actually do you know what?

Screw you if you're doing Canada. Don't forget, Spencer and Vogue is on sale now. We have released, oh my God, you should see the face she's doing at me. We have released our UK tour dates and we would love you to pop along.

We finished our UK tour, I'm allowed to say that now. And we've won, we've won, we've a few tickets left. Frankly, this is unethical. We've a few tickets left for our third Olympia, not next week, the week after. I'm allowed to say that now. And we've won, we've won. Frankly, this is unethical. We've a few tickets left for our third Olympia,

not next week, the week after. I'm going to Canada. I'm in Toronto, Ottawa, Winnipeg, Calgary, Edmonton,

Victoria, Vancouver, Vancouver. That's it. And all the tickets are up on joannmcdonnelly.com. Bye.