My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "Icks & Fricks!"

Episode Date: January 12, 2022

It's a week of polarising experiences this time... Joanne has got her act together, had her hair done and cleaned the crisp fragments out of her bed, but Vogue has ended up with amoxicillin in her eyes. HOW?! If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

Hello and welcome to an extra episode of My Therapist's Ghost of Me with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally. Every week we take a look at your emails and we'll share a select few of your stories, spoofers, dick moves and more. So keep sending them to hello at mtgmpod.com. I had a bit of a kind of because I'm starting to fill in the show clear history next week. So I need to kind of get my shit together physically and mentally.

And so like clean the sheets. I had to hoover my bed sheets before I could even take them off because there's so many they're just covered in pop chips. It's like sleeping on an actual Pringle. It's like sleeping in a Pringle tube. Do you know it's the only thing that I woningle it's like sleeping in a pringle tube do you know it's the only thing that i won't do anymore is eat in bed well that's actually

bullshit i have oat cakes and milk in bed every day yeah you eat in bed come on i mean i won't eat a lasagna anymore spenny took a lasagna to bed only about a month ago and i cannot get those stains out of my sheets and it's like i'm pissed. I'm still pissed off about it. No lasagna in bed. I don't believe there's anywhere else I think you can eat anything. And I don't think you can't eat lasagna. Like I would eat, I've eaten like taster plates and like four course meals. I feel like there's certain things you have to pretend you don't do. I don't eat in bed.

No, Winston doesn't get in my bed. Oh, I know what you mean. Yeah. You're like, I don't breastfeed Winston. No, disgusting. Anyway, so I went to the hairdressers and I had to nip in to get in my bed. Oh, I know what you mean. Yeah, you're like, I don't breastfeed Winston. No, disgusting. Anyway, so I went to the hairdressers and I had to nip in to get the blonde done

and it reminded me so much because obviously we get very well looked after in Larry King. They spoil us rotten. When someone does your hair and you know it because hairdressers,

no one really knows how much hair costs. I think they're just winging it half the time. They have a price list, but like, I don't know, do they stick to it? Probably not.

You go, you watch the colorist go to the till and they're just winging it half the time. They have a price list but like, I don't know, do they stick to it? Probably not. You go, you watch the colorist go to the till and they're like, thanks a mil, bye. And they whisper in the ear of your woman behind the till

and you've no idea what's about to, what shit show's about to come your way. And it's all this secrecy around the cost of hair. Just fucking tell me now. How much is it?

It's so expensive. Why are you whispering it? Like they're war secrets just fucking tell me now how much is it it's so expensive like they're war secrets just tell me how much was it 100 but then of course obviously anyone who touches your hair has to get a tip so it was then 115 blah blah oh yeah oh that's a nice tip well it was a tenner to the tenner to the color as to five which the girl who washed my hair that's where i never know where to go i'm like oh how much do i leave to each person it's just like oh I don't know I hate getting my hair done I go into Harriet and I'm like she's like okay how long can I have you for and I'm like an hour I just I just think an hour is all I can do I never get a blow dry in there I'm like in I order myself a bolognese from this restaurant that's near Larry King's because it's delicious and then I'm gone out the door

with wet hair do you know what I took him out with wet hair to record this because I'm back to being professional now there was two things I was going to say to you

one tipping so I forgot in Ireland they don't add the tip on so you have to like you know just fucking whatever throw cash at the end of it

that's fine but did I tell you about the worst service I had which the other way I like my single my single woman sundays that you don't believe i do you think it's a pure stunt i don't know i don't know what you do like joanne rang me yesterday right she and avra was sitting on the floor here so i had you on speaker and i was like hey joanne and you were like oh hey how are you oh sorry my food's here bye and amber was like is that like a normal conversation i was like yeah because i said nothing that's true actually the timing was bad i was like you answered the phone my food comments like my food's here i'm gonna let you go you're like okay bye you didn't even have me

just literally like you asked you're like hello vogue speak i'm like i'm gonna have to let you go i've a lot on today okay bye i was having a carvery on my own in my local pub like i am basically an old man yeah in the middle of the day delighted with myself what pub does there's a great carvery in the beaumont house right it's his carvery and they sell jelly like they pre-made jelly it's very expensive for a carvery but it's worth every mouthful I used to love a carvery I love a carvery too can't go around with an old carve out but there's a place over here though called Toby's Toby I always get slagged of that Toby Toby's

whatever carvery and they only do Carvery. You go in and it's like an all-day Carvery, buffet Carvery. Yeah, I don't think that's that weird, Vogue. That's like saying to Sarah, like, oh, I went to this pasta place. They only serve pasta. It's amazing. That's kind of what people do. I know, but I want someone to take me to Toby, Toby's, whatever it's called.

What is it? Is there an S or not S? This is our sly shout out for free carvery is that it yeah we're coming toby's you know what i've married a man from chelsea there's not a fucking hope he's gonna take me to toby he doesn't even know what it is i was thinking about you the other day today actually when i was walking down to my hairs my hairdressers and um i was listening to this podcast oh sorry okay this is linked into into the Molly Mae thing that we were talking about the other day. I know.

I know. But you know, you always try and throw me under the bus of being unbelievable, but I'm not posting an 80, like she spent 80 grand on a bracelet to say, well done, Molly Mae. And that's fine if you baby grand spend on a bracelet.

Don't go fucking posting about it. Come on on that's the part that actually annoyed me and it's like how much money is she making that would have caught so if i always work it out with tax and management fees that's 160 grand what the fuck she could have bought a house where she's from i used to work me and my friend ashley used to work out all our finances in pints and wines so we'd be like if we wanted to go to them we'd be like it's too expensive

she'd be like it's only nine wines do you want that's how we she used to do our maths and stuff she'd be like I think we should go for lunch

what's it going to cost six pints that's how we used to work everything out so like I don't know how many wines Molly Mae's bracelet would cost me

but it would be a lot of that shit that's a lot of it's a lot of points and I think with Molly May the thing is and I I said this on Instagram yesterday and then people were coming back at me but I think she's really young and she's actually she's an immature 22 even though she now has this high power highfalutin job which to be honest I think it's just a bit of a PR stunt on is it pretty little things or boohoo or wish.com who she's the CEO pretty no she's not the CEO she's the pretty little I don't know she's she's got some job google it there Jo will you she's not the CEO of pretty little things she's

got folk I'm telling you now that she's they're giving they've given her some incredibly inflation title because they must have given her about four million as well if she's after buying herself an 80 grand bracelet I'd have left that in a Nanda's bathroom within four hours of having it I can't keep jewellery on me I lose it all the time

I don't think you're that bad with jewellery I'm pretty bad but I like costume jewellery as you call it creative director at pretty little thing so she's obviously

bought into her own she's drunk her own Kool-Aid now I know I know she drank the Kool-Aid is what's happened drunk her own kool-aid now i know i know she drank the kool-aid is what's happening but like i just honestly i was laughing when i watched it yesterday just because i thought oh god no oh please and she just kept going on but i remember years ago someone goes to me you've the same amount of hours in the day as beyonce and i thought you know what fuck you no i don't Beyonce has 9,000 people running

around picking up like wiping her bum practically I don't have a bum wiper well not yet not not yet couple more brillo pot odds what you'll never touch your own ass again queen oh god I was in James O'Neill's house yes and he was telling me the most random story his and brian's house by the way like honestly it's like stepping into opulence i know like i forgot about their toilet like i sat in the toilet and it was warm yeah it sings you or something doesn't it i know and like i went in and they had a lovely candle lighting and i thought i i'm just not there yet in life. And I know they're coming over on Sunday and I'm like, right,

I'm going to light a candle in the hall, in the bathroom, but I don't want it to be obvious and they'll know why I'm lighting the candle. Well, also, also I would say as a mother of two tiny children, candles probably aren't the most sensible thing

to have floating around the house. James and Brian have no kids, so no one's going to set their face on fire by trying to blow it out she she oh my god i've been giving her right because she's sick i've been giving her her calpol and now this new thing amoxicillin i swear to god the amount of that shit that's gone into my eye because she hates it so much she spits it and like the sting of cowpaw in the eye and then after the cowpaw the amoxicillin is like are you trying to cover the fact you've got pink eye and blame it on gg's putting cowpaw into your face i've no idea how i don't have pink eye i wipe so many bums around here that i'm the bum wiper by the way i want a bum wiper i need a me. I want a bum wiper. I need a me. Two things. Firstly, again,

there's some traction online because once again, the Irish Indoe ran a piece that you had revealed that Gigi has tonsillitis. And someone retweeted going, Duran McNally did two Vicar Street shows and went on a 48-hour abandon

with Brendan Courtney. I want to hear her side of the story. Justice for Duran. So I'm retweeting it now trying to get the hashtag justice for joanne i just want to finish on the i just want to say on the molly may of it all right that i do you know what i'm talking about in that interview so i was like i think she she's so that she was looking for shit to say she was like like, oh my God, I'm on this big podcast

about being a business bitch. I need to have shit to say. I need to talk about having been inspired by certain things. Like I'd say she was pulling it out of her ass. I wouldn't say, I wouldn't even say she lives by that. Yeah, I know.

But there's her first mistake. You don't see, like you won't see me going on that podcast. this is why I was thinking about you earlier um and it was the and it was the tied in with the Molly May thing that I was listening to this podcast about how that we're kind of we fetishize work so it's like if you say I work 24 hours a day seven days a week that we're like oh wow you're so important and busy and actually it's really bad for your brain and you should be not working all those hours and actually we should be fetishizing idleness that was what I learned

let the brain wander thank god because I I think I can be quite idle I think I'd be I can be like I'll take the bed for an extended period of time and I'll be doing my bits and bobs from the bed, but I will be in a bed. I need to take to the bed. Yeah, I think you need to take to the bed for a while. No, to be fair, I have taken to the bed quite a lot recently. I've been really lazy. I told you it's hard to get into it. But I did a full work day today,

and obviously I'm in my parachute. But like, God, it's hard to get back into work. And now I'm going to go piss off on holidays again. Like, I'll be doing bits of work over there, but nothing like overly strenuous. I'm doing a shoot. A couple of shoots I have over there. A couple of shoots?

That's work. I just think work's overrated. You know what I mean? Like, it shouldn't be a thing you're only valued if you're like, I have the strongest work ethic. I work all the time, blah, blah, blah. It's like, yeah, you're probably going to fucking die of alcoholism by the time you're 55 to deal with the stress of it that's the truth well supposedly um what are they called like really really amazing CEOs that work

in the city and finance and stuff like that they have a much higher chance of getting um Alzheimer's because they never give their brain time to rest so if they're only getting four hours sleep a night it is not enough sleep to be getting. I don't want to hear that you've had a milk overdose from working too much. Come down, find your face down in a basin of Avonmore. I'm like, oh my God, what has she done? I would like to, I would like,

you know the way they do that thing where Mark Wahlberg does his like 24 hours in a day and he sounds absolutely psychotic and not somebody you'd want to live with. I am going to start a petition for Molly May to do her 24 hours in a day. And I want to see what she gets up to, what the rest of us aren't doing. I think it's like, you know, I think there was pressure put on her to sound like she was incredibly driven and motivated and focused and I've no doubt she is but when people were messaging then they were like she's a lack of empathy I was like it's not a lack of

empathy it's a lack of kind of cop on and it's a lack of education It's just a lack of awareness and not realising she needs to watch a few of those Channel 4 dispatches on poverty and what's going on around the UK and then she might be alright We prescribe dispatches all right we we prescribe

to batches that's what we prescribe dear Vogue and Joanne I wanted to get in touch to offer the opposite of an ick a frick maybe oh she's she's trying to coin a term that's not an actual term okay I'm listening we'll take it frick she's like a frick maybe I don't know I'm a modern 21st century woman and I've no time for gender stereotypes. However, I'm seeing this fella who works as a scaffolder. Now I'm listening. Late last year, I needed some work done in my house and I was told I didn't need scaffolding put up.

He was kind enough to say he'd do it for nothing. Sound. Well, was I knocked flat when him and his mate came over to put it up? Watching him lifting things, using tools, had me on the floor. What the fuck is the matter with me anyway that was it he earned his attention that evening just wanted to put the idea there

Ix and Fricks what are yours? now Jo did you write this? no I did not this feels like a setup because I love

I love when Joanne takes Jo down like the other day when he said who's your best friend of? okay cool story that's bully Jo more I actually it's just because who said, who's your best friend, though? Okay, cool story. That's Bully Joe Moore.

You're Joe. I actually, it's just because that is obviously a frick of mine is anything kind of construction. Well, you said, no, you actually said a mechanic. No, I didn't say, but that's, to me, that's like a trade. It's basically, my frick is trades. Listen, anyone in a pair of Snickers trousers, you can come on in. I get fricky for trades, yeah. That's like a trade. It's basically my frick is trades. Listen, anyone in a pair of Snickers trousers, you can come on in.

I get fricky for trades. Yeah. That's all those pockets. I know. I kind of like, like when Spenny wake, or no, when Spenny speaks French, he does that sometimes when he's in trouble with me and like he'll automatically like have a French phone call

to make to somebody. And I'm like, oh, I don't hate you as much as I did four and a half seconds ago I think intelligence is always attractive I think I didn't say he was intelligent I said he could speak French I was wondering why you were going there I was like I better back her up

I've got your back fogey but we know it's a lie. I grew up with lads that could barely speak English. I have another one, actually, that he does when he wakeboards.

I think it's very attractive to me when somebody's good at sports. I also, I'm kind of attracted to, if I was going to go down the lesbian route, I'm attracted to those kind of like, do you know the kind of Spanish girls with'm kind of attracted to if I was going to go down the lesbian route I'm attracted to those

kind of like do you know the kind of Spanish girls with the kind of the feather fringes with the like sun tattooed up the side of their tits

that kind of stuff I think that's kind of sexy like Rodriguez Michelle Rodriguez yeah she'd get it really I wouldn't no I wouldn't be into her

I feel like she'd batter me yeah that's I think what I'm into my fantasy vans you're into vans oh I thought

you meant the runners you mean an actual van yeah I'm into beefy kind of bearded ripped

some scars remember your man the last guy I like a scar I like a scar I agree with Anon in that sometimes you're kind of embarrassed by your fricks you're like am I like a scar. I like a scar. I agree with Anon in that sometimes you're kind of embarrassed

by your fricks. You're like, am I that much of a basic bitch that I am still attracted to? Are you, Vogue? Is that you? Are you taking videos of yourself?

I don't know. God save Vogue, your sister's going to prison. Remember that in the Kardashians? Oh yeah. When she's taking videos because Khloe went to prison for five seconds come on i know have you ever been arrested i actually haven't yet yes remember when i was bleemic and i was under the back of mariah for stealing a baguette did they let you go like straight after no I'm still there

just doing hard time what are you in for stealing Ben and Jerry's how long were you there for the fucking jam bond thievery 20 years of hard labour for stealing pastries

at a Tesco Express in Dun Laoghaire that's it for this week another helping of my therapist goes to me so keep sending your emails

to hello at mtgmpod.com goodbye Bye.