My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "I'd mark them out of ten...and one of my exes found it!"

Episode Date: February 22, 2023

Recorded on Valentine's night, these two clearly have nothing better to do than record the pod, albeit with a glass of champagne, a €13 card, and a bunch of flowers in the background. We're chatting break ups, keeping info back from your other half for years and marking your sexual encounters out of ten.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! Remember to check the venue websites as well as Ticketmaster! For more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosts of Me with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally. Because I'm so excited about our tour, I have been going through outfits like a madwoman. I am like, it I am like it's like it's like my second coming like I've been pregnant for five years

practically and now I'm not pregnant and I'm going on tour like a real cool person and now I've got

outfits ready can't wait yeah but so Jo sorry bit of background to this it was only today at our

tech rehearsal. The tour starts tomorrow, show starts tomorrow in Dublin. We were in Wagamama. So all this is last week. So we're in Wagamama with our director Una. Doesn't everyone have a Wagamama order? Like the one that they get all the time. I've never veered from it.

That's a wild pivot. Anyway, go on, go on. You are wild. I love food. Her interruption technique Is on fire Anyway So we're in Wagamama

Me and Vogue are sitting in Wagamama Outside the venue And Vogue's stylist Arrives in With loads of amazing clothes I was like Excuse me

I know Karina Because I've used Karina before And Joanne could have used Karina as well. Fog is wearing a different outfit. Do you know what it is? It's fresh innocence of life on the road. Talk to me in a year's time. You'll be wearing a fucking curtain.

Karina and I have been liaising behind Joanne's back. You'll be wearing the same curtain. You'll be wearing a shower curtain same night, every night just to avoid getting dressed. Makeup, everything the same. Now I will say.

Get a mascara. You'll be out there. Not a bother. Anything to save a bit of time. You lose all interest in it. You lose interest in the kind. I never had it actually. In the glammy thing.

No John. You and I are very different. Like I've been picking out my own clothes. Since I was like. Like honestly four or five. When my mom started letting me do it. Like it's something that I just like. I love doing it

I love looking at clothes I go on to Net-A-Porter and put all this stuff in my bag thousands of pounds worth of stuff and don't buy it but I love

I love doing it yeah no it's brilliant I love I love I love a fake shop I love it because I mean

honestly who's going to spend 900 euro on a jumper someone obviously does I love doing that I used to do that on Asos I will tell you what Asos and Nettaporte like do you want you can treat yourselves at the odd bargain on Asos okay Vogue you know do you know what right so it's Valentine's Day it's obviously been and gone

but em look at that smug bitch making sure the flowers are in the background so we can all see that she got treated sorry I actually

threatened to move them who do you think did that now me do you think I did that all me and Alan have done all day it's like there's your

13 euro card he's like Alan Galeini there's your 13 euro card. He's like, there's your 13 euro card. And he's like, he bought me a chain. Do you know how much that cost? And then the flower,

he got me flowers. And he got, listen, I'm not going to tell you the price then, but let me tell you, the Celtic Tigers bank, we do spend money on each other. I put money into his

Revolut account that was a long story I lost a buying card and I was like can I get that money back he's like well you already owe me for this

it's just like no one wants to spend anything on each other but the fucking 13 euro card now it does sing and dance and all

but like 13 euro I'm sorry that's your own fault. I don't have any sympathy for that. Buying a card for €13. I was actually holding back and buying a birthday card for somebody because it was €2.99. I thought, do you know what?

No. I'm going to get my kids to make you a card. €2.99 for a card? Piss off! If you ever tried to pass off Gigi's potato art as a card for me, I'll know exactly what you're up to. But the €13 was too late because I was at the counter and your mum goes, you know that's €13? Because she obviously knew it was insane to pass off Gigi's potato art as a card for me I know exactly what you're up to but the 13 euro card was too late because I was at the counter

and your mum goes you know that's 13 euro because she obviously knew it was insane as well but I couldn't back down then I was there I couldn't be like God no

hold on a second give me that stamp I'll just write something on the back of that I'll accept well I will tell you what I did today I went into

Dunae's Boutique Dunn's this is a place in Ireland and what do I say I I piled up on Easter decorations I know I keep going on

about these decorations but I mean when you have kids you have to have decorations for every time of year not Valentine's Day too much but I got the most

magnificent things and I've just it's really put a pep in my step today but you don't have to have decorations just because you've got a child they're too young today but Vogue you don't have to have decorations just because you've got a child

they're too young and thick to know any different they're not going to notice that's what I said before Scrooge over there Scrooge oh

do you know what she's got gifted Scrooge Vogue has turned me into a fucking when I first met Vogue I had a pot to piss in but I was adding a pot to piss in

but I was prepared to spend it not anymore she is the worst influence when it comes to spending money because she's so used

to doing all these collabs the woman hasn't put her hand in her pocket in 10 years she doesn't even have a pocket look at her

she doesn't even have a fucking pocket and if she does her hand doesn't go into it ever because she's gifted so much excuse me you can't say I'm mean

there's no worse face imagine do you know what do you know what actually there's no worse face than I'd rather be called a creepy weirdo

than be called mean with money there's nothing worse than someone being like she wouldn't spend fucking Christmas but back to Christmas Joanna's such a Scrooge monster.

She got gifted these gorgeous Christmas decorations. She couldn't even bother her whole to get a Christmas tree. She just placed them on the TV unit. And that was her Christmas decoration. Well now, in fairness, don't confuse Scroogey with incredibly lazy and couldn't be arsed. There are two different things. I do have a bad case of couldn't be arsed. I was like, couldn't be arsed. I'm only going to be nice with you guys. I couldn't be arsed. How are we going

to get rid of it? Couldn't be arsed. Do you know what I mean? I won't even tell you. I will not embarrass her by telling you how she showed up today when I saw her. I won't embarrass her there was no knickers there was no bra that's all I'm saying I'll embarrass myself no problem do that

no there was no knickers no bra a bit of context wouldn't go straight there yeah fully nude fully in the nip just running into the gaiety

in the nip the guys at the gowdy in the nip the guys at Catapult got such a fright they're doing our stages on and she just runs out naked and they were like oh crap they really got a fright

sorry guys I forgot to get dressed all over the place what happened was what happened was basically for Valentine's Day me and my mother

hit it hard great crack great crack we had a great night in me and my mum and we to say we put it away is an understatement

to say mum I'm sorry I know she doesn't like to be shamed but I didn't let good office down do you know what I mean so anyway there we go but

we had a great night I drank loads and then ended up coming back to Allen's and then the morning and I couldn't find my car key anyway I turned my car key

she pulled a Joanne is what happened what she's trying to say is I pulled a Joanne my car is sitting somewhere

whether it's been clamped out I don't know where I don't know where it currently is I'd say it has

about 20 tickets stacked on top of it anyway we ended up in the galley in my pyjamas Jo full brown pyjamas not a bra in sight

no no are you drinking champagne Spencer right in fairness to him he sent me a bunch of flowers really nice flowers and I would like to say again and again

and again I like flowers again okay everyone stop slagging me when I post flowers on my Instagram I like them again

right Vogue you're entitled to change your opinion it is a woman's right to change her opinion and I do it all the time on the daily about everything

100% well I'm currently it's Valentine's Day now that we're recording this we're sad bitches so we don't mind recording on Valentine's Day and I was

I invited my auntie up for dinner I told you Amber Mina and myself and Megan are all up here having dinner so basically

we put the potatoes on and I know I have 40 minutes and you know how I like to like lock a lot of things in at the same time so I've got Naomi and Megan sitting all up here having dinner. So basically we put the potatoes on and I know I have 40 minutes and you know how I like to lock a lot of things in at the same time. So I've got Naomi and Megan sitting at the kitchen table while I'm standing there training with weights in the kitchen. So I'm talking to them as I'm training. So I'm getting two things done at the same time and that's our Valentine's Day.

I could have gone for dinner. I'm stuck here with you two pigs. That's what I'm going to have to show. If you want to go for dinner and go to a place that is charging you more than it usually would and has substandard food and it's stuffed

to the brim with people you are our guest but we are saving your ass after spending 13 euro on a card spend 13 euro on a card I go to a restaurant and I walk into the back

of the kitchen and eat out of the bin for free I would not pay another penny towards Valentine's Day but I wouldn't mind going to a restaurant just to eat the scraps out the back

I will tell you I've been known to eat out of a bin myself. You ever get a Chinese when you're really hungover and it's like no that's enough that is enough I can't eat anymore and you have to put it in the bin so you stop yourself eating it I will take that carton back out of the bin quite happily and polish off my three in one. Of course sure

I remember working in it I like worked in well several restaurants, coffee shops daddies all that kind of jazz I'd say you were so bad at being waitress like honestly

oh yeah remember do you know actually by the time I got fired from the pub in Dorky he was like I'd rather have no one on than have you on

because I was asking for extra shifts he was like I'd rather have no one on I'd rather I'd rather the punters were just let loose just like rip the tops

out of the wall than have you on it was quite cruel actually quite cruel and then I was like I think I need to leave now do I finish my shift like that's really insulting so I just walked out then took the fucking apron with me boom

I'm sure he missed you but anyway when I was doing the waitressing, I think everyone does this. I'd be eating people's like leftovers. Oh, 100%. Yeah. So I was waitressing when I was in uni,

so I had no money, like no money at all. And like if people weren't eating their steak, I wasn't going to be buying myself a steak. I remember my biggest expense, I don't know who I thought I was, I bought a piece of tuna before when I was doing that., I don't know who I thought I was, I bought a piece of tuna before when I was doing that.

And I actually like, I don't think I could go out that weekend or something. Do you remember, you'd go out and you'd literally, I'd just bring my vodka in my bag. A hundred percent. Hello, Joanne and Vogue, not Joe.

Oh! That's a bit far. Come on, we like Joe. It's probably his wife. Who is it? Leave Peggy Sue alone. Leave him alone. Peggy Sue? The Pegging. The Pegging. Oh, the Pegging Sue. Oh my God. ew the pegging the pegging oh the pegging oh my god

you cannot get her out of the gutter I can't okay I've recently been seeing a guy and I think I want to end it

he's really nice has treated me really well and to be honest he's always been more keen on me than I have of him now if if she was more keen on him

leave red flag she would he would have dumped her that's always what happens anyway always been more keen on me than I have of him. Now if she was more keen on him. Leave. Red flag. He would have dumped her. That's always what happens. Anyway. Which is always good. I've been on a few dates but maybe have been texting him for two months at this stage. Oof. That's a long time to be texting someone. Typically in the past, unless it was a relationship, I just ghosted someone

who would have been out with a few times because I hate having that awkward conversation. But recently, maybe I've matured. I've been thinking that maybe I owe him more than that. My housemates say I should lie and pretend I'm moving away or that I'm not interested in the relationship. How do I end it with someone I'm just not feeling with?

Listen, you can do it in a nice way without hurting someone's feelings. I think ghosting someone... There's no way of ending a relationship without hurting someone's feelings but sometimes I think you just have to

you just have to do it you have to break their feelings that's it I know sometimes you just have to there's no way do you know what you say just say

listen I thought I was ready for a relationship but it turns out I'm not I think that you're amazing but like I'm just not

I'm just not there yet there's a lot of like really interesting stuff on Insta. I follow a lot of Insta therapists and stuff, because again, I'm not prepared to pay for my own stuff. I just go on Instagram for free life advice. And may I say, I've seen some of the posts you quote. I'm like, God, she's really on one this week. Are you okay

the amount of ones I don't post there's a lot of restraint there like do you know the way you're posting shit going like fucking bad walking out with that pricksie it's just like

shade shade shade shade it's too obvious it's too obvious too obvious but actually it was like you know these things it was like

it was saying well done empower to the people who end relationships not because it doesn't not because I don't love them not because it doesn't work not because it's toxic or bad

it's just not the one at that time it's just not the one you don't have to be obsessed with everyone you can just be like you know what

you're a really good guy but I just don't think this is I don't think this is a long term thing I'm looking for different things yeah I agree I agree I agree

I mean God I Nothing I'd give anything To bring back the glory days Of sending your maid over To do it for you

Oh god That was a great time Is your name Jo? Alex says you're dumped That was it And then everything Clean cut That was probably the last time

I got dumped. Well, I got ghosted as well after that. But like, that was the last time I got dumped, I'd say. I'll never forget it. I remember his little beautiful face. Thanks for that. Well, I'm not that many relationships, have I? He looked like Splinter from what's that thing called?

Teenage Mutant Hero Trials. I never see that little shite bag looking over at me while his crappy little friend who was even worse than him dumped me I thought you fucking arsehole you'll regret this you'll regret this so you haven't been dumped since like 1989 when that was still acceptable

well think about it I've been in full no I haven't oh my god well I got ghosted now remember god well I got ghosted now remember that time I got ghosted so that was being dumped yeah but he's

he's all out of the shop he is he is all he's gonna yeah he is gonna we haven't forgotten that sometimes when I do insta posts

it's about him this one's for you Vogue thanks Joanne hi Vogue. Thanks, Joanne. Hi, Vogue and Joanne. I've been moping about for the last week and decided I should email you

to try and get myself out of this. My husband and I celebrated our anniversary at the weekend. We've married 10 years, together 15. Bit of a milestone. We stayed at a lovely five-star hotel

with the best cocktails. On Saturday night, we had a massive session together and I was genuinely having the best night we get on so well, have loads of laughs and fancy each other. But for some reason before, my husband brought up the fact that just before we got

together, I'm scared of this, he was seeing someone else. He told me that he'd been seeing both of us but he ultimately chose me. Sorry, I think that's very nice yeah 15 years I know you might say I should just be happy he chose me but it feels like he broke my

trust oh babe don't worry he didn't break your trust just you wait you don't want to see some of the emails we got in on this fucking dear Grant this man is like yeah zero this is very low level. If you're finished with him, we'll take him. Yeah.

I've only heard about it for the first time now. Oh God, he's a gobshite. How did he let that fall out? Don't say it. You're not doing yourself any favours 15 years later. How can you keep that much information? I just couldn't keep it information to myself. I couldn't keep it to myself.

And especially things I shouldn't do. I always forget about them because I don't want to remember them because I shouldn't have done them. So it's the best way to think that you haven't done them. Anyway,

I get that he thought he was being fun, but it really ruined the weekend for me. We didn't argue because I tend to just go into myself. It hasn't left me

and I don't know what to do next. Anyway, I'm sure I'll be over by the time I see you both at the Palladium. The marriage will be over? No, the fight will be over. Oh, sorry.

I was like, my gosh. This is a very severe reaction. I actually think I would be, well, maybe it's because, no, I think that it's fine. I do. 15 years later I can't believe he remembered it and brought it up why would he

why would you be so stupid I think it's always really weird to hear that your partner was with other people

unless you're into that kind of thing anyone else exactly unless that's your vibe but ultimately and I think that's probably what this is more about

that it's she now has to picture this that he was as close with some other woman around the same time as he's close to her and all that stuff I think that's what that is

I think even though it's like how many people have you slept with never a good conversation to have I remember when I was like this is a long time ago now I used to like my list obviously

isn't very long so I used to write people's names down and then the things we'd done and mark them out of 10 and one of my exes found it I know I how did I have the time to do that it was obviously before kids it was a long time before kids before any paper start writing stuff it was a long time before kids but yeah I used to do that and I got caught I was found out. They found it. I just remembered that. So just be

thankful your husband didn't have a list and didn't mark you out of 10 and you weren't even the winner in all the categories. My ex wasn't the winner in all the categories. How do you go? I'd just be like, oh, it's out of 10 of intelligence. That's it. He's just that one. Oh no, all mine were just sexual things.

That one's real thick. He's 2 out of 10 sexual things that one's real thick he's 2 out of 10 and that one's real smart real fucking smart he was 12 out of 10 of intelligence he could do a Rubik's Cube

in under a second you've got like a Vogue you've got a burn book about men you had sex with that's juicy no I lost that book I lost that book

it would have been a very short book let's be honest I know do you ever think about stuff that you've lost I remember like when I lived in my dad's house

so these are long gone I'm just hoping that they've like really like I don't know they'll never be recovered but when I was younger I really thought

I wanted to be in a pop band remember I did so I used to sit at home with a dictaphone singing along to Alicia Keys if anybody found them I'd honestly with a dictaphone singing along to Alicia Keys.

If anybody found them, I'd honestly, I'd have to go to the grave. Well, that's it, Joanne. We're done. What is the rush? Is it the potatoes? What is going on?

Listen, I told you I was three sets into a four set programme and now it's all balled up. She's like, well, there it goes. That's it from us for this week. Thank you for listening. I've been Gerard McNally.

She's been Vogue Williams. She's been Vogue Williams. Vogue Williams. Williams McVogue. folks.