My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "I'm appalled on your behalf..."

Episode Date: August 17, 2022

With Vogue & Joanne still in their borrowed Ibiza hotel room, it's time to have a rummage through the emails and see what comes out. This week it's all about erotic fiction, age gaps and mucky sign language. If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

Welcome, welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally, who's always wearing a little bit of neon. She's definitely partial to some neon. Hello. Have you not gotten some neon eyeliner? I have some in my... I feel like I'm on her chat show. I'm like, hello. Hello, Joanne McNally. Thanks for having me. Thank you. Welcome to my show uh do you have any neon eyeliner i've got like an orange a green and a white one because obviously it's the irish flag in my bag and i reckon a bit of green neon eyeliner would look good on you i'd love that

yeah i'd love a bit of yellow neon eyeliner it's just trying to okay i didn't say i had yellow okay just trying to stay visible do you know what I mean just trying to stay what is it not relatable what's it what's it when you're what's the word in my when you're like relevant sorry just trying to stay relevant with my neon eyeliner just trying to stay relevant as a middle aged woman you know do you know that when I was in um Portugal I was sitting at a beach bar in clothes and a 12 year old sat down beside me in the exact same top top so it's this like tank top from H&M and I was like this is so embarrassing do you want to grow the fuck up it was this white tank top with New York written across it from H&M and I was

like wow well I wouldn't say you've got I need one of your floral numbers immediately it's time to evolve I wouldn't say I wouldn't say you've got the most grown up wardrobe no I don't but I

it's my own I like I like do you know what I mean it's like you know I do dress I do have

I do kind of have a bit of a dress like a teenager still but I kind of love I love your outfits that's my vibe I think they look very good you like a teenager still but I kind of love your I love your outfits that's my vibe I think they look very good you like a little neon crop top yeah no you don't love my outfits

because the other day when I chose a dress you said you're not coming out with me in that dress well that was because there wasn't a flower to be seen on that dress well that was that was because of the situation we were going into that I was like, Vogue, I don't think that's putting your best foot forward for the situation we're going into. And then wasn't I right? Well, John, to be honest with you, we both looked out of place. Oh, you did look out of place, actually. You did. You stuck out like a sore thumb. Okay.

Okay. Okay. I was trying to be nice. You looked ridiculous okay okay would you like to hear some listener emails sure hit me up this is great because it's from you it's from me okay a woman mailed you yeah she said your jumpsuit with loads of heart smiley faces you wrote back and said sorry a 15 year old of course he did how pathetic then she wrote back and said I'm confused but delighted you replied all the

same and then you responded and said I'm appalled on your behalf but not surprised and then she wrote back haha I can't come up with any funny, funny comeback. So I'll slink away,

but hope the show was fab. Raging. I missed one due to Corona. What? I have absolutely no idea what that's about. I could only guess that I was DMing someone else and was replying in the wrong box. A 15 year old. Of course he did. Hypothetic.

So obviously someone's boyfriend left her for a 15 year old of course he did hypothetic so obviously someone's fell someone's boyfriend left her for a 15 year old that's what i'm guessing from that and obviously i was appalled on her behalf i'm guessing that was what it was and i wouldn't mind but the timestamp is around 17 28 so she you weren't drinking i obviously wasn't drinking well certainly not heavily by that time. Listen I'm in those, I always reply if someone's getting like, sometimes people just go he cheated and I go straight in. Like I'm just like a rat up a drain

pipe and I'm like diddy yeah. I'm appalled on your behalf. I'm appalled on your behalf. So whoever his partner did cheat on him with a 15 year old know that I was trying to reply to you and I am appalled on your behalf. Yeah and also I am too. Yeah we're both I love the podcast I recently fell head over heels with a guy younger than me previously I've dated guys 10 years younger but this hunk was 25 and I

struggled with a 12 year age gap but as I really liked him I thought it'd be okay until tonight when I found out he's actually 23 and I'm 37. Is a 14 year age gap too much? He's very mature and most people assume I'm 28 when we're out. Biggest issue will be our families. Please give some advice. Well, I mean, if you feel like you're having a mature enough conversation with him, then all power to you. I would struggle to go out with a 23 year old because I just don't think that they have not saying that I'm as I'm certainly not mature enough for my age but like I have a more maturity than a 23 year old I would expect I mean if you were prepared to go out with him when he was 25 I don't see what the difference is that he's 23 oh I didn't I actually that didn't even come to my mind like it it's two years, who cares?

But also everything's changed now. Everything's different. Before, like when women went out with younger men, it was like kind of, people found it quite odd. Kim K,

like it's just, it's every, like Olivia, or Olivia Wilde going out with Harry Styles, Kim K going out with Pete Davidson. I feel like though, it's a trend.

I know, but I feel like Pete Davidson has lived a life. Maybe this fella's lived a life and he is very mature, but but like I just know when I've been sat with like my brother's friends and stuff I'm just like I think they're sound but like I don't want to be hanging out with them all night

there will be judgement there will be judgement remember when I hooked up with that 23 year old yeah yeah yeah you were a bit ashamed of that there was judgement there but at the same time maybe from yourself but you know what at the same time, I was from yourself.

But you know what? At the same time, I was kind of thrilled by it all because I was like, look at me. I'm an older woman. Like, do you know what I mean? Whatever age I was, late thirties at the time.

And now you've called us middle-aged and older women on this pod. And it's kind of freaking me out. You know how I feel about death. And when you say middle-aged, I'm like, I'm halfway there. That's it. I know, but there's not like,

the idea of middle-aged now is so different to what it was. But I mean, ultimately, 40 is middle-aged I'm like I'm halfway there that's it I know but there's no way the idea of middle-aged now is so different to what it was but I mean ultimately 40 is middle-aged but so without getting too like so if you're 37 and he's 23 I mean you're probably not going to marry the lad I wouldn't think you're going to marry him enjoy it for what it is something has turned it's it's it's kind of cool now I think it used to be a bit embarrassing when older women went out with much younger guys but now I think it's cool and that's why I was slightly. I think it used to be a bit embarrassing when older women went out with much younger guys but now I think it's cool. And that's why I was slightly,

when I, when it happened, when I did, I didn't go out with your mum but when I was hooking up with him I was like,

this is kind of cool. I feel slightly, slightly shamed but also slightly empowered. I felt both feelings. So, and I guess she's kind of feeling the same things

I'd rather go out with somebody older than younger I have to say I've no issue if somebody else wants to but I kind I I have to say I might throw a slight judgmental glance because I know a guy who is like tipping 40 and he was gone out with like a 19 year old and I just thought that's a bit weird come on you could literally be her dad I know is that your daughter I think there's something this and this is completely sexist on my part I think it's a bit gross when a lad does it but I think it's a bit cool when a woman does it and I held my hand up to the hypocrisy of that but I do well you know what I think that it's quite nice that it's actually gone that way for once because they get away with everything because I think it's just because it's kind of a new thing.

What would we say? I'd go out with Harry Styles. What age is he? He's only early 20s, is he? Nah, he's like 30 now. He must be. Is he 30 now? 29? Ah, God, I'd marry him for that age.

That's grand. No, wait, what age am I? Oh, no, I'm nearly 37. What age is Harry? I'm 29. 29, 29. Ah, yeah, grand. That's Grant.

And he clearly goes for elder women. He's always gone for elder women. Remember that weird. Remember when they tried to pretend. Was that he was going out with Taylor Swift. And they did those staged pure shots. With. I've never seen less chemistry between two people.

I have. The ones with Tom Hiddleston. That was the most embarrassing ones I've ever seen. Where he was wearing an I love Taylor top scarlet like you're meant to be a Hollywood actor that's unacceptable

but I think they were genuinely going out now oh god I don't know I don't know she was pretend going out with everyone for ages wasn't she yeah there was a lot of show

well the showmance between her and Harry Styles was particularly cringeworthy because it was so clearly not true like you need to kind of believe in it a little bit

but I think she was going out with that Higglesworth guy. Higglesworth is now having a baby with someone else anyway he's found his feet. Wasn't he supposed to wasn't he up for being

the next Bond and then they were like you've kind of made a show of yourself over this Taylor stuff? He did. He made an absolute I'm sorry coming out of the water in that I love Taylor talk

like get back in the sea immediately. Seriously. Consider your decisions. Right one more email for you. Hi, Vogue and Joanne. I've been cringing at the book. Let me choose. No, you're not choosing because we don't have that many left.

I want to choose one. She's terribly selfish. Actually, I've been living with Joanne, right, for the last four days and I, she is like a changed woman. Go on. Now, your room is absolutely in bits. I will say that.

She sleeps with her, she's, I went into her room and the suitcase is still on the bed, fully open, with shite hanging all over the place. And I was like, do you sleep with that in your bed?

Because it was in the same spot. And she's like, yeah, sure, I don't move in the bed. I was like, okay, come on.

Besides her room being a disaster zone she puts her stuff away she washes stuff she clings film stuff I think that's Peter rubbing off on you but like I'd always be

kind of conscious in a shared like do you know what I mean in a shared kitchen and stuff like I'm not that I'm not that bad you're not that bad I have to say

she was thrilled with herself when she walked in and she's like, I was like, Jesus, your room's a mess. And she goes, no, look, I hung stuff up. She'd hung four things up. I know. Listen, I'm learning. I'm domesticating myself. Hi, Vogue and Joanne. I've been cringing at the busted on Pornhub stories and I have the solution.

Erotic paperbacks. My best mate got me an anthology of sexy stories for my birthday and it's honestly been a game changer. Not only because I'm two years without any male interest whatsoever, I'm very much wondering what the hell's wrong with me. Or rather, what's the number of nearest convent? Lol, joke. I'm already there. Anyway, apparently women get off on their imagination because we're more sophisticated than men. So try a book instead of videos. I mean, I did read every single Fifty Shades of Grey.

And I used to read it on the tube. I'd be a bit embarrassed. You need to get like, get your old book covers out. You remember you used to cover your books? Cover your books. You can't have an awkward tab moment if it's tucked away safely in your bedroom drawer. Though saying that,

when my mum was a teenager, she found a copy of Lady Chatterley's Lover in her mum's drawers in a brown paper cover with natural history written on it. Clever woman. What can I say? Like grandmother, like granddaughter.

My granny used to love reading those Bloom books. What were they? And I had a glance at one before, absolute filth, nothing on Fifty Shades of Grey. I'm laughing at the idea of covering your, like erotic books in wallpaper, like you did with your school books as a kid.

But they do say women are turned on by what they hear. Like that's why you have all those kind of categories on Pornhub, where it's just erotic chat for women i didn't know about them excuse me you're slagging me about porn hub she knows about all the bloody taps that's what they because it's like women are turned on by chat joanne basically to whale sense basically a woman's clit is in her ear from what i can tell that's kind of what I'm understanding. So like they get it. That's why women go in for all the dirty daddy chat and all that jazz.

Whereas men are more kind of visibly driven. Whereas women are more audibly driven. So it makes sense that women would get off by reading those sexy books. That's why Fifty Shades did so well. Also the kind of bondage-y vibes. Fifty Shades was good but I did

I watched the movie there a while ago and it really like like honestly, now I finished it obviously, but what a load of shit. It was crap. They ruined it because the book was so good. I mean, I even read Mr. Grey. I read all of them. Did you? Yeah, I couldn't get enough of it, obviously. The grey time on the tube and the way to work.

I must read it. I enjoy a bit of sexy, a bit of sexy a bit of a bit of sexy dialogue a bit of sex dialogue there's an award apparently for the worst written sex scenes every year do you know people write sex scenes and they're just really cringe and really embarrassing I can't remember what the award is um but I've no doubt when I write my book I'll be nominated but um I look forward to the nomination thank you but, I can see why you get off on a bit of sexy reading. Good tip. Okay, last email.

Sign language. Hi, Joanna Vogue. I'm a British sign language interpreter. As part of keeping up my skills, I often practice my signs and speed by listening to podcasts with various accents and signing to myself in the mirror. I just had to reach out to you because this week's episode really tested my skills. Imagine me in front of my bedroom mirror looking all professional with my head set on pubes going down assholes to the sun cockington sweaty armpits and a sweaty slip and slide ass just to share thanks for keeping

me upskilled you are welcome hilarious that's so funny do you know what's um interesting so we were chatting to our uh woman who was doing makeup makeup on us over here called natalie woods who has 10 hearing and she was saying so she can't listen to podcasts i was like yeah so yeah i know it's like i mean i don't know what i don't know why i'm bringing that up i guess it's just it never occurred to me before which is very ignorant it's amazing She can lip read like perfectly. You would never know. It's like a super, like you're not safe around her.

You're swimming 10 miles down the beach. She said she's got a really heightened sense of smell. Cause I was like, cause remember yesterday when we had to keep our eyes closed for that Yoni steaming session, I found that I couldn't hear her as well. That's why I kept opening my eyes. Cause I was like, I obviously don't have great hearing. Cause when my eyes are open I can hear better so I was saying to Natalie can you have or any of your other senses heightened she said she's a really heightened sense of smell and that

she can smell if someone's cheated on her or something she can smell a woman in her what oh my god that's amazing yeah I know she's very talented in fact but the but the lip reading is really fascinating because obviously like we talk very fast she doesn't miss anything no i know you wouldn't want to be bitching about her name the garden because she'd fucking see you no you wouldn't and she's good at hair and makeup so laser eyes i know she's very good very good thank you everybody for listening to our bonus episodes Bye.