My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "King Babies?!"

Episode Date: March 30, 2022

What on Earth is "King Baby Syndrome"? Today, you'll find out! Also, it's almost time for Vogue to choose a name for baby number 3 and who better to ask for advice, than the godmother herself? If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

Hello and welcome to an extra helping of my therapist ghosted me with me, Vogue Williams and the lovely Joanne McNally. I need help with my baby name because it's going to be your baby too. I thought we could go into baby names. I want something a little your baby too I thought we could go into baby names I want something a little bit different I don't want something Irish no offense I love Irish baby names but I just don't want an Irish name I don't want something too English it's got to be smack down the middle like so in the middle of the sea between Ireland and England I can't remember what comic I saw describe Irish names it was an English comic

he said Irish names look like wifi codes I thought it was very funny can't remember who it was it was very funny it's kind of true though like Maeve like

think about how people spell Maeve you can spell Maeve M-A-D-B-H I know someone who has the idea yeah M-E-A-D-B-H isn't that it

M-E-A-D-B-H I would I do like an Irish name now but like Geroad who is opening the show for me he's talking about

moving to the UK and I was like you're literally going to have to change your name there's no way you can go over to the UK with a name like Geroad

you're going to have to be called Barry Barry Farrelly is a great stage name Barry Farrelly Barry Farrelly yeah I kind of like that but now the thing about

Geroad is he could just change the spelling of his name so it's not Giroid. Or he could call himself Giroid. Giroid.

Yeah, I think that sounds good. I like him as a Giroid. I only know him as a Giroid to be honest. When you're being introduced by MCs and stuff, you need something simple.

Like I've mispronounced names of acts coming on and stuff and it's always really embarrassing for me and then they have to correct do you know what I mean themselves, names of acts coming on and stuff. And it's always really embarrassing for me. And then they have to correct, do you know what I mean? Themself, me when they go on and like, basically he just needs to be a letter. Just simplify everything.

Like the way you call Theodore T. Yeah, he should be G. H from steps. Very cool. Cool name. Do you want to hear some of the weirdest names that have been going around since the dawn of time? Please. 1940s.

Someone called, he's a Learjet founder, Bill Lear. And he named his daughter, now she was born in the 40s, Crystal Shanda Lear. Brilliant. L-E-A-R. Great. I think that's a good name. I love that. Now, two babies in the 19...

This is so mean. Two babies in the 1950s this is so mean two babies in the 1950s were christened window and one of them had a middle name and it was coverings

window coverings was his name is this real this is true were the children made of glass I don't understand why would you call

your child window did they come from a long line of it's a nice word when you think about it. Window. I like windows. I think syphilis is a nice word,

technically. It sounds cute. It rolls off the tongue. It hits all the points. And a very nice... But I'm not going to call my... A very nice nickname, syphie. I'm not going to call my child syphilis.

I didn't know syphilis was one of your favourite words. What is your favourite word? One of mine is oats. I just think it sounds so tasty. Oats. One of mine is bombastic just think it sounds so tasty oats one of mine is bombastic uh the daughter of musician frank zappa which is kind of a cool name that's a cool very cool name

yeah he called his daughter moon unit that feels very self-indulgent to me now because moon grand but why are you throwing unit on there it's unnecessary it's a bit bulky it's like g unit like we would use unit in a derogatory term ground up It's unnecessary. It's a bit bulky. It's like, G-U-N-I-T. Like, we would use unit in a derogatory term, grown up, we'd be like,

she's a unit, as in, when we were younger and slagging each other about being fat was what you did, we'd call each other units. Yeah,

you would do. So, I don't want to be, I don't mind moon, moon. Moon is grand, like, I mean,

compared to some of the names, have you, did you read that list of names that they had to make illegal in new zealand like violence and bush shelter and stuff yeah so moon unit in comparison to them is a walk in the park really fair play sorry yeah the ones going on to the new zealand ones right there was there was a couple who actually like they first of all they wanted to call their kid lucifer then Then they wanted to call it V8. Then fish and chips. And then the New Zealand government decided to approve the name Number 16 Bus Shelter.

So there's a baby called Number 16. Well, not a baby anymore. Number 16 Bus Shelter. I'm guessing that's where it was conceived. Is that the joke there? Or where they tried to get rid of it? Where they tried to abandon it and it walked back home like me? So they couldn't.

And that's why they called it number 16. Is it their 16th child? Well, that was like the fourth choice though. They wanted to call it Lucifer. Lucifer? Lucifer's not a bad name. She's got like a bad attachment. Lucifer's quite nice.

This is why people, I think, it's mad the way, the amount of prep that goes into trying to adopt a dog and then anyone can just have a baby and call it after a bus stop there should be rules

there should be rules I think there is rules now I don't think you can call your kid anything you want like you can't like I couldn't call my child like

dipshit or something like that like I don't think you're allowed to do that anymore I don't think you're allowed I'd love to see you on the front of Hello Magazine announcing the birth of hello magazine

announcing the birth of your child dipshit here's our beautiful type out no no no no our beautiful dipshit has really has really completed our family yeah chris martin and what's her um what's her name gweneth gweneth falter call their kid apple and moses i know again it's self-indulgent nonsense isn't it it's like how much you have to like what's her name? Gwyneth. Gwyneth Paltrow called her kid Apple and Moses. I know, again, it's self-indulgent nonsense, isn't it? How much do you have to like apples? If you think you're above

normal society that you can call your child this completely obscure name and we just all have to step in line, basically. Here's my daughter, Satsuma, and no one can say anything because I'm Gwyneth Paltrow.

Satsuma is not the worst name. Well, then I'll call my child Grape because it's basically what I drink morning, noon and night. Just a liquidized version. I'm like, this is the solid form of myself. Grape. Bob Geldof.

Actually, I did want to call Gigi. What was that name? Ah, what's her name? Polly Yates' daughter. This is what I loved. We have thought of calling Gigi Tiger Lily. Did you actually think about calling Gigi Tiger Lily? Yes, Joanne, I did.

You did not. Before I named her after my auntie's dog, I thought I might call her Tiger Lily. I don't believe you. What's wrong with that? That's a brilliant name. I'd love to be called Tiger Lily. Because I think you're too sensible for that.

I don't think you'd do that. No, and I also thought about Tiger for a boy, but like, I mean, Tiger Lily. Because I think you're too sensible for that. I don't think you'd do that. No. And I also thought about Tiger for a boy but like I mean Tiger Woods that's really not done that name any favours.

So that's out. Oh my God I totally forgot about him. Yeah Tiger Woods still going still doing well at the old golf. He had a car crash

recently though so he took some time off. Quite a bad one actually wasn't it? I mean there's getting caught for something and then there's getting Tiger Woods for something

like fucking hell he like like he was really on to fucking everything though like the waitress in the restaurant down the road from his house like I think there was like 16 where did he find the time I couldn't be arsed with that

I couldn't even arsed with that. I couldn't even keep two on the go. I was going to say three there. I was like, that's just pushing it out to two. Narcissists find the time because they have to because it's their oxygen.

They literally have to find, that is their life's blood, their life's work to be adored. So they have to find the time. It's like, how do we find the time to breathe? We just do it naturally.

We have to do it. But you know what I also discovered? I don't think i've spoken about this yet king baby so you know they were always busy accusing our exes of being narcissists everyone there seems to be the world's full of narcissists because every woman i've ever met has dated a narcissist we're all calling our ex psychopathic narcissist but anyway there's this new term called king baby which they use for addiction actually so it's basically like hold on let me get it up king baby syndrome king baby syndrome yes it's my new favorite thing i'm busy i'm busy oh my god i'm just busy diagnosing everyone for being a king baby i think spencer might have this someone with king baby syndrome thinks of themselves as the center of the universe

they are kings in the sense that they are narcissistic and boss others around he's not bossy they're also babies in the sense that they long for immediate gratification an infant or toddler

can expect others to meet their needs quickly a baby expects instant gratification so you can if a man or woman has king baby or queen baby syndrome

then they see others the way a toddler sees their parents so we so I think it's I'd like I'm refreshing the dialogue your ex isn't a narcissist he's a king baby or a queen baby there's still a dick

ass but we have a new term i just i just copied that link and emailed it to spencer what time is it now let's see how long it takes before he comes in king Baby that's interesting Rona well Rona's here now and like I just find her so fascinating our friend Rona's a psychologist

what would she be yeah she's a psychologist isn't she she's the kind of person that like she does she's a therapist and you'd go to her

for advice anyway because she just gives really good advice but it's just so interesting to have her take on certain people like I was asking her about Putin

and stuff like that yesterday to see what's like mentally wrong like why is he like that I find it exhausting though if you're a psychologist you'd be constantly

firstly you're you get it would take the crack out of things because a lot of the crack is when you don't understand

why people do the things they do so you spend your time trying to figure it out if you just know yeah it doesn't also things they do. So you spend your time trying to figure it out. If you just know. Yeah. It doesn't, also people will be asking

you stuff all the time. It's like if you're a hairdresser and your friends are always asking you to get them curly blow dries. Sure, I was, I was on to Rona during lockdown.

Do you remember? On the Zooms looking for advice about bits and bobs. Stop myself, throwing myself out of lockdown. I know. But I do that like,

she barely walked in the door last night and I started asking her all this stuff. I wonder does it bother her? I was like did you see that Louis Theroux documentary now? What do you think about that? I just find it so fascinating the way her mind works. It's like she's got the inside scoop

on our brains. That's it. Yeah I know I was like tell me about myself tell me about me I imagine she'd be like that's classic I was like, tell me about myself. Tell me about me. I imagine she'd be like, that's classic King Baby Syndrome, what you're doing with her. Hello, Vogue and Joanne. Love the show.

So something happened the other day, and I just can't seem to shake this feeling. I've been with my boyfriend for five years and we just had the porn conversation. We both watch it separately for a quick bit of self-care. I'm fine with that, nothing wrong. But then he said, I only watch this one person because it looks like you. Is this weird?

I think I'd prefer all randoms than just one person he keeps going back to. I'd love to know your thoughts. Please tell me if it's weird it's not weird but it's also not true it's psychological manipulation

I don't know if that's true either I don't think that he is he is absolutely lying to you that is that is the most bullshit excuse

yeah I've ever heard for a man I like I don't I don't buy it no one's looking at anyone's face

right that's what I've learned about porn. There's no faces there. They could be wearing a backpack on their head and I would not notice. It is very genital focused. That is true. Nobody looks at faces in porn.

I'm not there to watch their acting skills. Like, come on. He's not looking at her face. I think he's lying. I would love, what I would love is not even access to a man's phone

although that is always exciting and also devastating when you get in their wank bank I guarantee if you cracked open that lad's wank bank

there wouldn't be a face like yours in it and that's the God's honest truth oh God I'm trying to think yeah but when you're watching porn

you're not really thinking of like someone's face I know I keep going back to that so there'll be no one in the wank bank except like what are those but when you're watching porn you're not really thinking of like someone's face I know I keep going back to that so there'll be no one in the wank bank except like what is it called when you go into prison

and they make you do they make all the prisoners what's it called Joe where they have to choose out the culprit oh a line up that man's wank bank would be a line up

of different ethnicities shapes sizes trust me not a single one would look like you. Just a line of fannies. That's all it is.

I told you I met a porn star the other day. Hit me. I actually really loved her company. She was great. Where was this? I was doing a TV show and I met a porn star. Oh yeah. And I just thought like.

She was just. She was just really good crack. And like just didn't give a shit and i just i really like enjoyed her company and she was telling me a few things about porn like that like that like they spend like practically the whole day doing those acting bits that they don't realize that no one cares about and then they only spend like the last 20 minutes or so doing the bit we're all waiting for. Really? Yeah. And,

and the men inject their dicks with Viagra. They inject their dicks because they have to keep it hard the whole time. So they have injections of Viagra in their dicks. And then she told me that because of the injections, that they can't actually cum. So when they do the cum shot, it's, it's not real. It's pretend cum. I's it's not real it's

pretend cum i know joe's joe's heartbroken i've ruined his i've ruined his i've ruined his friday night oh my god so it's like when you see the picture of um like a big mac and you know what i mean that's and it's not it's actually cardboard and cotton wool and stuff yeah a cold big mac exactly shit that's what it's like fake money shots yeah and she said that sometimes like because she'll get her

hair and makeup done and like someday she's like oh my god I can actually go out after and then and then they're like oh no

we want to come on your face and she's like oh fuck that's my hair and makeup ruined and that's how she like she's so

she's so funny this question And that's how she like, she's so funny. This question is to Vogue, because I know you've gone through this before. How did you tackle the stigma around divorce work up the courage to tell people? Dublin Gal on divorcing, and I've literally no clue how to tell people. I just feel like everyone I will tell will judge me.

It's particularly bad in Ireland. I feel like you're seen as a big failure if you divorce and it's a huge shameful thing. Maybe I'm being paranoid because I'm going through it, but I just can't bear the thought of people knowing. Even worse, the thought of people from my old school finding out. Like how bonkers is that? I don't think that's bonkers. Haven't seen them in years, but the thought of me being in the topic of convo is just mortal. For context, I'm 35 and we have children if that makes a diff well first of all I'm very sorry to hear

that you're going through a divorce but second of all yeah I was scarlet when I was going through a divorce it was really embarrassing because you just feel

like everyone is like judging you but they're not actually and you're not a failure and you're going to have a great time with yourself now you and Joanne

can go out in the terror but I swear to God like I there's a woman called Esther Perel who I've spoken about before and she had she wrote a book called Mating and Captivity and she talks about how back in the day in our parents generation divorce was embarrassing because it was shameful to leave a marriage whereas now she said it's shameful to stay like so we all know those people who are in marriages they shouldn't be in.

And we're trying to encourage them to leave. And it's almost, we almost judge them for staying. So actually, while she thinks she's, she feels people are judging her, there's probably a lot of people who were admiring what she's doing. Who were like, fair play. I wish I had the confidence to do that.

Because it's a huge decision. It's a huge decision. But once you've made that decision, like that's the hard part that's done. But like like I can tell you that it's not embarrassing and Joanne can say all that but like you feel yourself you're gonna feel embarrassed you can't help that like I was so embarrassed and it's just the way it is and then when you look back six months later you're just like why was I so embarrassed by the whole thing but it is the whole thing around failure because like you kind of are failing at being married

but like I don't even look at it like that now I'm like thank the Lord you're succeeding because look your life moves on

and everyone else everyone that was in that marriage is happier you're succeeding at being happy I have nothing but respect for divorcees because A

you're putting men back into the system which I respect and B you're going to find someone who you're not repuls into the system, which I respect. And B, you're going to find someone who you're not repulsed by. I mean, a lot of divorce, I think, by the time you get divorced, you're just, you're about as attracted to them as a boiled haddock. You're putting fish back in the sea for me.

So I am nothing but grateful. Thank you for your service. Do you want to hear about the stage invader, Joanne? Sure. You do. Hi, Joanne. want to hear about the stage invader, Joanne? Sure. You do. Hi, Joanne. Listen to your podcast about stage invaders. And I was the girl who gate crashed the green room and ruined your tipple of vino. The bouncer was definitely doing his job asking me to leave, but I feel like he was vexed

as his pride was beaten after I bet him in a foot race up the stairs. He was ripping, but that's where we find ourselves in a feminist society. In other news, I got your tickets as a birthday present and i am a fan but was only lashing out with a dig about not being a fan as i was wronged by the bouncer to speak and asked to leave just to wrap up i can't believe she pulled out bad bobs like what just to wrap up my thoughts on the night i hadn't lost my pants as a 33 year old I honestly thought the white shirt dress

I wore was appropriately long but when being manhandled by a bouncer I can see where you would have thought I lost my pants ears in banter you ledge lots of love the cabin menace

PS I have the sacred selfie and I can only apologise for stage invading as you look terrified. Go on! She brought so much. Do you know what?

I love people like that. I know. Like that can just take the piss out of themselves and have a laugh about it. Like I love that so much. And she brought a lot of crack to my night.

She really, and my life to be honest. So nothing but respect. You've actually brought a lot to the pod. So thanks for getting absolutely locked. I love that she's like I didn't lose my pants

I thought the shirt was an appropriate length because the bouncers were saying she's got no pants on they're like her trousers or her pants

are actually coming off that is so funny oh god nagging me at the end with the bad bob thing was the pièce de résistance so thank you

I appreciate that as well Joanne you don't look terrified there you actually look like you're having fun sorry just to give a Oh God. Nagging me at the end with the bad Bob thing was the pièce de résistance. So thank you. I appreciate that as well. Joanne, you don't look terrified there. You actually look like you're having fun. Sorry, just to give a context. She said at the end, I'm not even a fan. I got the tickets for free in bad Bob's as she was being manhandled out.

Which we thought was just the funniest thing we'd ever heard. Bad Bob's is so random. That's it for the bonus ep this week we shall see you next week from myself and yourself goodbye Thank you.