My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "LIES!"

Episode Date: April 6, 2022

Nobody likes a liar, now, do they? Come on. This week Vogue & Joanne have an email from a listener who's managed to separate herself from one hell of a liar. Plus - TONS of your stories on the subject too! If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

this is the extra helping of my therapist ghosted me and we have got some great emails from you guys as always always bringing the good emails let's see right joanne i'll let you choose again ah we know which one we want come on it's i'm gonna go vogue i'm gonna go for number two i'm gonna go for men are lying bastards ping ping Hi ladies I've picked up on the Men are lying bastards thread In the past few weeks And wanted to offer my input Until last year

I'd been married to my husband For six years All was fine As far as I thought Oh no As far as I thought We still had sex We still said

I love you every day It was great I'm a nurse And often working night shifts But one night I just felt rotten I developed a bit of a cough And took a COVID test You can guess the rest I went home. It was in the middle of

the night so I thought I'd be creeping in and trying not to wake him. I parked the car, got out and saw the bedroom lights come on. I assumed he'd heard me and wondered why I was home. Went in, walked up the stairs and saw the loft ladder was down. I asked him why the hell he was messing in the loft at two in the morning and he said he was just sorting some bits out. It seemed odd that he'd be sorting bits out in the loft stark bollock naked but whatever. The whole thing stank. I went up the ladder and found a scantily clad woman in my loft. My question is what the fuck he thought his next move was going to be that night. Close up the loft and leave the poor lass up there. Christ.

Anyway, divorce is all done and I'm happier than I've ever been in years. I'm seeing a guy from work and I'm loving life. Oh, that makes me feel sad, but also very happy for her. Yeah, that's like there's

I mean, it's a great story. Firstly, I mean, that woman I'm actually gotten away with it. She would have found a cadaver in her loft 20 years later just the skeletal

body of a woman who was left to die in the roof of some man's house because he can't keep a dick in his pants a mummified yeah a mummified

woman in a fucking lingerie covered in a suitcase oh like I like it just I just don't get it I don't get things like that because I, like it just, I just don't get it. I don't get things like that. Cause I'm like, you're, you're in a marriage.

Why do you have to be so mean to her to do that? Why can't you just say I'm not happy? And I want to, I want to get out of the marriage instead of being selfish and eating all the cake for yourself. But Vogue, that is like the Anne and Barry version of a marriage. Anne and Barry, Jo, for, um, for you, it's like our school books. Do you know what I mean? It was like 2.4 families, you know, Anne and Barry.

Yeah. Like, that's not how relationships work, Vogue. It's way more. I know. And that's why the lies and all, like, I'm only having the crack with it. I know. I was called a misandrist during the week because, well, I was, whatever, it doesn't matter. There's some article about me not liking men. I adore men, as we know. I'm called a misandrist during the week because well I was whatever it doesn't matter there's some article about me

not liking men. I adore men as we know. I'm fucking hooked on them and women cheat and women lie too. Relationships are very complicated and very nuanced

and no one knows you know what I mean? People cheat for all sorts of reasons and I would like to throw in here I've talked to you about this I'm obsessed with this woman called Esther Perel

who wrote this book called Made in Captivity which is fascinating and she does this amazing tag talk it's got 10 million views or something you should watch it anyway but the lies

I mean it's just it's the creativity you almost respect it it's absolutely hilarious imagine the indignity though of going over for some hot sex with some man you've probably been

you know flirting with them for ages it's been building it's been building and then you end up naked in his attic getting stung by his wife oh god just desperate affairs I think they sound more glamorous than they actually are

anyway I had an absolute ball with this so this was this started because there was um uh there was like a meme going around during the week about a woman who found a bra in her husband's suitcase or her boyfriend's suitcase and he said it was from when he was fat that he had tits

and that he keeps the bra to remind himself of how far he's come and then women just kind of weighed in then with all their own examples they were so funny, that's a good lie it's brilliant, it's absolutely brilliant and then there was another one

you see I don't know if they're true who cares where she found heels under his bed and he said he uses them to change the light bulbs because he's too short

to reach the light himself my ex so loads of women around here started messaging these in there were so many of them here are some of them my ex took his wedding ring

off on a lads night out because he said it scared the women away and how when I got back from home there was a woman in our bed and he said she was tired and I shouldn't overthink things this one says that oh sorry love yeah don't overthink things one girl sent me an actual screen grab of a message a guy sent her he said she's like one guy cancelled on me because he said he had the opportunity to watch a kidney transplant and I was like what so she sent me the message hey just been given the chance to go watch a kidney transplant starts at half one and can take anywhere between four and seven hours I'll

try let you know what's going on but but when I can but it may affect our plans and she wrote that is the most elaborate excuse I've ever heard in response to him. I'm guessing he was a doctor. I don't know. Otherwise, it's really, really weird. I once didn't hear from my boyfriend for five days and he told me he'd driven over a SIM card. I'm sorry. Are we living in the 1930s?

Just a SIM card as well, not the phone. My ex told me, this is the best one my ex told me the reason he cheated on me was because his ex accused him of emotional abuse and he had to have sex with her to prove he was a nice guy oh gross here's another my ex spent 13 grand in one night in a brothel and told me he just paid for everyone else in there including strangers to do stuff while he just sat in the lounge and had a drink. 13 grand? Oh my god. Do you know what?

That's some top tier brotheling. I have to, I believe a little bit of that, a portion of that. Because you can't, you couldn't possibly spend 13 grand a night on your own you'd be wrecked your dick would fall off I know like

I don't know I've never been to a brothel but 13 grand does seem like a lot it's also a lot of this is like the story I told you the story

about my friend was going out with this guy and she stung his phone he'd been ordering sex workers to his room and then he told her that he just ordered them

and never let them in that he got a thrill out of because she only had proof that he's ordered them here's another one this isn't a lie per se but my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with multiple women when i confronted him about it he told me i was slut shaming him oh this is i found a makeup brush in my ex-boyfriend's car and he told me it was a fingerprint duster that the police left behind when his car window got smashed. No. That's top tier.

That's five stars. That's gold. That's an A1. I've had lads cheat on me and I'm so disappointed I never got any creativity. I just got

told I was jealous and mental. So disappointed. I got, now I got told we were broken up and I was like, excuse me,

we were like 150% not broken up. No, we weren't up and I was like excuse me we were like 150% not broken up no we weren't we weren't no we weren't oh yeah

there's always the timelines are always smudged we broke up for an hour on a Wednesday afternoon are you genuinely telling me you went out and rode three women on a Wednesday afternoon for an hour

oh gross my ex is chatting to another girl and tell me it's because her boyfriend told him to to give her more confidence he dumped me for her a month later lol

oh no can we talk about Liam Payne's accent did you hear Liam Payne's new accent did anyone hear it yeah it was like a whimsical it was like

it was like if Keanu Reeves tried to do an Irish accent that's how it sounded to me it's one of my favorite things in the world when somebody just automatically changes their accent. It's my favorite. Like remember Lindsay Lohan? That was one of the best accents.

That was wild. She kind of had, it was like an Arabian accent almost she developed. I find it so cringe. I wonder though, is he doing a film or something? And he's kind of, you know, like sometimes that happens. They do say it's a sign of a musical ear, which means I now have more respect for Liam Payne because I didn't think he actually had that, to be fair.

Not slagging him, but like I didn't think, you know, he wasn't the big musician. He wasn't. It was basically like Niall was kind of the music guy and Harry. Harry was kind of, yeah, and Niall, I suppose. He's turning into a real man, Liam, now, isn't he? Like he's all kind of beefed out and heall, I suppose. He's turning into a real man, Liam, now, isn't he? Like, he's all kind of beefed out and he's wearing the suit.

No, I wouldn't fancy Liam. Would you not? No, I've seen him a few times in real life and it wouldn't be my cup of tea. I'd like Harry now. What's Liam's original accent? Where is he from? Wolverhampton.

He's obviously gotten sucked into the Hollywood machine. He's thrown off his Wolverhampton accent and now gotten sucked into the Hollywood machine he's thrown off his Wolverhampton accent and now he can't decide between an American and an Irish that's what it sounds it just sounds like

he's very confused a very confused Liam Payne oh Leo Varacker don't ask me how I ended up on Leo Varadkar. Don't ask me how I ended up on Leo Varadkar. Again, Jo, Leo Varadkar is our Tónistá.

So our Taoiseach is number one. He's our Prime Minister. And then our Tónistá is number two. And they're from different political parties. Basically, we rotate our leaders like a little spice rack. It's a long story. You don't need to know about it. But Leo Varrocker was Taoiseach

and now he's taunted but he's going to be Taoiseach again. Doesn't follow me in Vogue. Now, that might sound wild to you but he follows every other Irish female comic. It feels like a snob.

Oh my God. Joanne just called me a comic as well there. Maybe I am a comic. Do you know what I'm going to do? Unfollow him. That's exactly what I'm going to do. You show him.

I think I might have said something about Leo Varadkar a couple of years ago that's possibly why he wouldn't follow me what did you say something about

you're quite a little troll aren't you when you get down this was politically based it was about when we were bringing in the abortion laws into Ireland

and he had done something that I didn't approve of years previous or something and I might have tweeted him so I understand maybe that's why he doesn't follow me he's no reason to not follow he follows everyone he follows Dieran Gary Amy Huberman Aisling B I went through them all I was very lacking there I'm kind of surprised he doesn't follow you well I followed him so it's the five day rule he's five days to follow me back or he's getting blocked well I unfollowed him and I might if he doesn't follow you well I followed him so it's the five day rule he's five days to follow me back or he's getting blocked

well I unfollowed him and I might if he doesn't follow me I might block him too and I refuse to believe he's got bigger fish to fry I refuse to believe it he doesn't have

bigger fish to fry he doesn't I might invite him into Vicar Street I dare you I dare you to DM him go on I dare you

I said come on we have a couple of blue wickets in the green room come on Leo I dare you go on like you're not. I dare you. I said, come on. We have a couple of blue wickets in the green room. Come on, Leo. I dare you. Go on. You're not the Taoiseach now. You've nothing to do.

You're just a tawnisher. They don't do anything. It's like our Dominic Raab kind of vibe. Now, even. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go on. DM him there. You've got your phone.

Go on. Just say, hey, Leo. I've got a couple of spare ticks. TIX for my show. Do you want to come? Leo, it's Joanne. Maybe I'll do one of those unfollows, refollows, so he can see that I followed him.

Maybe he didn't know. You don't follow. I'm saying the podcast like he knows what it is. Well, well well well someone's gotten ahead of their station aren't they chatting on the pod just the pod

you don't need to know the details chatting on the pod about the fact that you don't follow me or Vogue again I'm not even giving you

a surname I'm just assuming yeah on Insta we're both quite hurt but willing to move past it I'm gonna go follow him back okay if you're sending that

we're offended but open to dialogue yes we both follow you even five days to follow us back or suffer the consequences as you want and he's got 199,000 followers like he sees

that shit he likes to talk travel sunshine concert and he's a Leinster and Dublin fan

we like sunshine we also like travel from one blue tick to another and just like that I've moved into politics And just like that, I've moved into politics.

Well, that's it from us. By the way, my UK tour is all on sale now. I'm going everywhere. Thank you.