My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "My boyfriend hooked up with Joanne..."

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

This week, Vogue is onto a psychic who is being forced on pub crawls and Joanne feels seen. Plus, a booty-call ghosting, a boyfriend who won't shut up and another sexy greyhound.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player original podcast. Hello, welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Goes To Meet With Me, Joanne McNally and my good pal and DJ, Bergerlyn. Now, you know, I love a psychic medium yes and I love anything to do with ghosts and yes I have seen

a ghost once in my life well twice but it was the same ghost so I only count her once yes but there was a woman who said

I'm just putting lipstick on sorry go on I'm listening I was going to say I actually can't continue until you just fucking put some lipstick on oh is that a Charlotte Tilbury I was going to say I actually can't continue until you just fucking put some lipstick on oh

is that a Charlotte Tilbury that you managed to get in their press drop you cow I'm sorry but Charlotte loves me I'm absolutely raging

she loves me whatever she'll forget about you soon her hands are too big they don't she says she doesn't want them on her lippies we don't have enough nail polish for you.

You would bankrupt us. There isn't enough in the world. Ever. Anyway, psychic medium claims her nights out got ruined by spirits forcing her to down drinks. Zara Fleming claims that. That's funny because this guy Chris Fleming that I did that ghost show with. They're probably related. I'm assuming psychicness runs in the family now.

Like diabetes. Yeah, I would say so. that ghost show with they're probably related I'm assuming psychicness runs in the family no? like diabetes yeah I would say so that when she's out and about the voices of the dead speak and implore her to go bar hopping

yes is this is this what happens to you? here's me thinking I'm a piss head I'm psychic what a revelation

listen to this how do you turn the spirits off? that'd be great even on this. How do you turn the spirits off? That'd be great even on a Monday. If I could just turn the spirits off on a Monday

I'd be thrilled. Give my body time to heal and then I could be psychic again on Wednesday. No Pat I'm not going out again. Okay I will.

Okay I will. I'm possessed. Three bars. Three bars. This isn't easy for me as I'm like downing a pint of pinot Do you think I want to do this

No of course I don't Someone's coming through You just have your hand You have your hand going for a glass And you're just trying to hold it back No It's King Henry VIII He's coming through

Do you know he exploded in his coffin Anyway more of that later What Because of the gases? I think so, yeah. Apparently he was so unhealthy that when he died he just started leaking all this stuff

and then they put him in his coffin and he blew up. Well, do you know what I found unusual? Supposedly he brought strawberries to Wimbledon and I thought, I just never imagined him eating a strawberry. Hold on.

King Henry VIII brought strawberries to Wimbledon. Hold on. Are you saying that he was going to watch the match? I actually don't like that you always question where I get my sources. I think, I don't know. I'm an honest girl. I'm sorry. No, I know.

I know. And I know. And I know that this definitely has some context somewhere. But I just have this image of him sitting in the middle court, eating strawberries, drinking a gin and tonic, which I just don't think... King Henry VIII... Jo, that's what happened.

Listen, I don't know a lot about, like, I don't know much about what happened with the general election here. What I do know is things like Henry VIII brought strawberries to Wimbledon. The first Wimbledon was in 1877. Henry VIII died in 1547. Are you calling me a liar? Are you looking me in the eyes and calling me a liar?

I'm just saying that I don't think you're right on this occasion. Well, anyway, that makes sense. I didn't think he'd look like he ate a strawberry. Yeah, that didn't add up. But you know what?

We're all here to learn. He probably didn't explode in his coffin either. He did, he did he did just check to 10 with the 8th explode I just it's not like a whale

like whales on the beach I remember my dad took me to see a dead whale there was a dead whale down in in Donabate so it was a huge tourist attraction

of course and we went down and it was kind of like building up gases and so I kind of was nudging it with my foot to see if it would explode and did it

and it did not explode which was disappointing but in my foot to see if it would explode. And did it? And it did not explode which was disappointing but in hindsight if it had exploded it would have exploded on me and I would not have enjoyed that. You'd still be in therapy from that. Oh no, I can't bear it.

Especially fish. Fish for me are just a no-no. Anyway, back to the... Did Henry VIII explode? Here we have. We've done our fact... We've done our fact checking. If she's right

and I'm wrong about strawberries I just... Fact! Henry VIII exploded okay Joe thanks for that that's not what it says okay

it might not be true Burnet has been accused of playing fast and loose with history so the story that Henry's corpse exploded in his coffin might not be entirely true

but true or not it's a good yarn nonetheless and it has now passed into folklore where it has become wildly accepted as a historical fact

like that's literally that doesn't make any sense well he basically do you know what he's saying he's like it's a good story don't question it yeah

which I think is how I choose to live my life as you choose my friend Siobhan told me Henry VIII exploded in his coffin

so he did explode in his coffin do you ever see that cow that was rolling around as well because it was so full of gas and the farmer

just shoved a little pin in it and then it was like Grant oh okay anyway sorry back to my psychic medium she said that she keeps she keeps having to make excuses

to her friends as to why they keep having to switch locations and said she tells pals she just changed her mind because the spirits keep telling her to go on a pub crawl the 31 year old claims that instead the spirits are making her down her drink and leave so she can go see their loved ones telling her to go on a pub crawl. The 31-year-old claims

that instead the spirits are making her down her drink and leave so she can go see their loved ones to pass along messages like a kind of supernatural posse. So the spirits are bringing around

loads of bars to try and bump into their like... Now I'm starting to believe that actually. I have been accosted by drunk women in pubs before. Maybe it was her and she was trying to tell me something. Trying to pass on a message from the dead

Frank was trying to come back and say hello and she's just so slurry I just couldn't get it out of her well that was my favourite story of the week I think it's great

and I also think more of stuff like that why should we take responsibility for our own actions I have no interest in accountability remember we did that thing about the

what are they called the pastors remind me where there was this pastor and he was like God told me that I was only able to fly privately oh yes

yeah there was another Christian pastor right and this Christian pastor said God had come to him and told him to start selling plots of land in heaven

so he'd been selling plots of land in heaven to people for a hundred dollars a square foot or something. Pastors are dodgy. That is allegedly

so smart. But you know what? Imagine seeing him on Dragon's Den. But when I heard it I was like I kind of want I'll take 4,000 square feet.

Yes. Of course. You're like so we've got a pergola I'm going to need a pergola I'm going to need room for a pergola at the kids' lives.

I'd like a large enough garden for the kids. Yeah. 3,000 square foot in the garden. We'll actually do a 7,000 square foot house because I don't have to suction bag my clothes anymore. You want it overhout so I can see the cliffs? Yeah. Yes.

I'm just going to rent up there because... It's too much. I'm not sure how long I'll be there. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not a buyer. You might be getting a plot down there. You're going to get a plot downstairs for Joanne.

Why is it getting warmer? Where am I floating to? Oh, God. There was a, sorry, I wanted to, a man in Arizona slept with his son's wife because Jesus told him to. That's fair. Like, he probably didn't want to do that,

but he had to. Jesus is very bossy he is very and very persuasive yes I saw Brad Pitt was at the Grand Prix

at the weekend and I thought to myself if Jesus told me to sleep with him I would sleep with him 100% definitely and I looked at his girlfriend

and I was like lucky bitch I just don't think Jesus has my number I've never heard from him have you heard from him? I hear from him all the time. Do you?

He just tells me how great he thinks I am. Well done for doing such a good job. A few people have let me down around you. I'm not naming names, Joanne. He's like, no notes for you folk. No notes. Everything going perfectly. Keep it up.

Keep on trucking. You're nailing it, babe. You're absolutely nailing it. Well done at life. Yeah. Did you get a new laptop? Of course you didn't. Nope.

Do you know what? Jesus told me not to. Jesus doesn't talk to you. We've just figured that out. I was trying to get into the apple shop and Jesus was like no

don't waste your money go to Zara so I did I went into the cell I was in bed last night and I was having one of my anxious moments I don't know why

I just got it into my head that I was anxious and then I couldn't sleep for ages and I was lying there and I was like I'm just going to have to tell them that

I can't go in and do the pot in the morning I have to do it from home I need to prioritise sleep and then I was thinking that bitch won't have to tell them that I can't go in and do the pod in the morning. I have to do it from home. I need to prioritise sleep. And then I was thinking, that bitch won't have gotten a new laptop. I have to go in and do it. You're dead right. You're absolutely dead right.

So I begrudgingly set the alarm for quarter to eight. Sometimes it's the things you have to buy that I really struggle to buy. Like I really struggle to buy them. Do you know what I mean? Like there was a sale on in Essential Antwerp, which I love. I love. And I went in there and I got sale on in Essential Antwerp which I love. I love. And I went in there and I got some great deals

on shit that I didn't need but I need a new laptop and I just can't bring myself to part with the cash. Anyway. Emails. Girls. I was stood up

on an actual booty call. Oh no. Oh yeah. Whose stomach's rumbling? Not mine. Is it mine? Mine was before but it's not anymore

how good is your hearing you've got like headphones on how did you hear that because I'm just such a pig I'm like maybe I could eat

for someone else because I'm not hungry if they're hungry maybe I could eat on their behalf someone's hungry that is unbelievable that you heard that

I got a text from a guy I've been seeing for way too long for it to still be casual at 10pm. God. This just reminds me of a time I did something like that at 10pm as well. What an idiot. I did the whole getting ready routine

and was at his door by 11.30. I text and called him and his phone was off. I assumed he'd fallen asleep. At his door? God. And that was literally the last I ever heard from him. Never again. It's literally the sex equivalent of

ordering a pizza and then it turns up and you don't want it anymore. I saw him in town a year later and he looked like a bag of shit, so fuck that guy. What a dick! He looked like a bag of shit. I'm so glad he looked like shit. That's the sexual karma for you.

Jesus did that too. What an arsehole. Now, one time, it was back when I was in my uni days and I was seeing this guy who was actually studying medicine. And I hadn't done the wine. But because I was a student,

I was like, I can only afford a bottle of wine. So I got two bottles of wine because it was two for whatever. And then I drank the a bottle of wine so I got two bottles of wine because it was two for whatever and then I drank the first bottle of wine and then I and he was coming over to see me and then I was like

I just got so drunk so quickly that I fell asleep on the couch and I woke up the next day and I was like oh my god I'm going back to Dublin today and I was meant to see him before because he was kind of like my boyfriend so it does happen sometimes

but we don't think this guy passed out because he he ghosted he's never woken up or he's... Yeah, well, he is. He looks like a bag of shit now. Well, I wouldn't even be worried about him if he's gone ugly like that.

There's no worse come up in smash. He's been taken care of anyway. The world has gotten him back. But I do think... I was reading this thing about ghosting recently and it's very hard not to take it personally. But ultimately, when someone ghosts, like, you know,

it's that they don't have the capability to communicate what they need like and I struggle with that sometimes you know the way I'm not great with confrontation and I sometimes wish people would just disappear do you know what I mean but it's not on there it's nothing personal to them it's that I'm not emotionally equipped enough to have that

awkward conversation so I'd say he something happened maybe he passed out maybe something happened and he woke up and he was so embarrassed and he was like I don't even know where to start with this so it's better to just

cut and run there is always I mean ultimately just always put it back on them Do you want to be sitting in front of someone she wants to get rid of

because she hates confrontation just like just wishing them away turn and blink oh he's still there yeah just pointing a wand at them

like come on go go go go away also hang on sorry one second about the ghosting people don't think it's that weird to ghost

because I said somebody I don't remember who I was talking to and I was like I just think ghosting is the worst it's so bad

and they were like really like as if it was such a normal thing to be doing to someone but it's such a it's such an umbrella term for loads of

different things like I've always said and I went on a couple of dates with this guy Jamie before and we discussed this because I said look I'm not going

I am going to warn you now I am like if I go on a date with someone and it hasn't gone well I'm not going to text them and say that didn't go well I'm just going to assume

that they also know it didn't go well and we just don't contact each other again sometimes it's okay to let things just fizzle out you don't have to have the conversation

he was like no no no no no no no I don't agree I need the conversation I'm like yeah but then you end up if there isn't a big

connection there you end up in this really awkward break up conversation with someone that you're like you know and I know just let's fucking

let it go no I need the conversation well so I matched with this guy about a month ago back when I was in the bridal suite in the K Club remember I was boosting

for a whole weekend in the K Club on Hinge they couldn't get rid of you they all came through I had like seven boyfriends in one day and then by the next morning

I woke up I had one left it's like going into a casino I was like everything was going so well and I saw some meme the other day they're like when you go into

Hinge in a manic episode now you've got seven boyfriends you have to make conversation with anyway matched with this

guy and he was I thought he was really good looking really cool like loads of tats all that jazz and he's like oh yes please and I was like yes

please to you and I was like look I'm away I'm away I'm not back in London for a couple of weeks he's like no worries pick a date so I picked a date

it was a Saturday the first Saturday when I got back he's like okay let's go on a date then I was like no worries but then we'd no contact right so I was like

that's gone that's gone to the wayside now no probs I checked on Hinge because I always liked a little check and we'd unmatched so I was like okay

so he would have unmatched you yeah he would have to intentionally have unmatched me but we weren't in contact so I was like he's obviously met someone and maybe come off Hinge whatever

like it has nothing to do with me and so then the date that we were supposed to have the date came and went no problem and then like maybe

a week after that he texted me at 11.40pm on a Saturday night he's like hey are you back and I the next morning

because I'm just I always think Hinge is a bit of a wild west I think until you physically meet you can people are very like they can't it's not real

so I wouldn't take I just don't take any of it fucking personally so the next morning I wrote back going yeah I've been back weeks you mad bastard why what's going on

and he just never wrote back to me again so it's people do you know people are funny. He's just looking for the ride though.

Yeah, well, I mean. So are you. I guess, I guess he, yeah, I think my, my take on it was, I was like, he probably met someone, came off hinge,

maybe they, they broke up and he was looking for a bit of a bounce back. You know, this is what happens. It's literally the Wild West. Just don't get any of her pussy.

Now, of course, I'm sorry, don't mean to undermine this girl if I turned up to a lad's house and he didn't open the door and then I never heard from him again

you'd be raging I would be absolutely feeling especially because you would have had a chair and like shaved yeah and you're

also like just don't be so rude like that's it's like that's very rude Joanne Vogue please advise gas one

my boyfriend hooked up with Joanne oh my god what? before we were together on holidays years ago and he never

stopped bringing it up cut the pot who what fun story cool Joanne is hot and a celeb

but it's starting to fucking irk me now can you please advise me on how best to handle or better again just say he was a shit riot so he shuts the fuck up

Joanne well do I take it away do we have any more information on this man no say he was a shit riot

oh well I can tell you right now without an ounce of a lie every single riot I've had on holidays

was a bag of shit as our first emailer would say so rest assured and by the

way he's nothing special there were loads of riots on holidays come here at one point

I was asked to leave Greece they were like you're a liability we've had to set up an STI clinic in the square there's more riders

at the Olympic Village you honestly brought chlamydia to Greece yeah Greek Grecian clap I basically I invented that so we're asked to show it I did not enjoy him okay basically I invented that so rest assured

I did not enjoy him okay oh that is so good that is so I need to know I need to know who that was by the way so please

slip into my DMs we need a name her not him okay last email hey guys just listened to the latest pod and you talking about greyhound racing

and the dogs being sexy. Were we? It's Joanne who fancies dogs. It's not me, okay? Are we talking about that? I've had to lock Bertie away when she comes over. Sometimes I wonder about myself.

Did we talk about that? Yeah. I have a rescued greyhound. TT's obsessed with them because they're the fastest dogs and he just goes, Mummy, is that a greyhound? He's so regal, that child, isn't he?

And I always say, and he's my perfect man, tall, leggy, great muscles, a bit damaged from his previous life and he's got tattoos. All grey hounds have tattooed ears. It's actually really cruel but at the same time,

he looks so tough but when he puts his muzzle on well enough said well there you go now next level lock up your greyhounds girls I'm coming to town come on

the best looking dog has to be a retriever the hair on that come on I love a bulldog I know you do you won't leave Percy alone as I said

I love a bulldog and what's the other one remember your man from E17 had one the kind that had the white long and what's the other one remember your man from E17 had one the kind that had white long heads oh no the Levi dog

remember the dog they look like an alien I know he was called Levi I love a red setter I spotted one the other day and I thought you look fantastic look at that hair

it's like they've got a L'Oreal collab yeah they look beautiful a bull terrier that's what I love a bull terrier he kind of does look like a member of E17 doesn't he a bull terrier that's what I love a bull terrier he kind of does look like

a member of E17 doesn't he well that's it thanks a million everyone for listening goodbye from me Joanne and Josephine

thanks for listening. Thank you.