My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "£450..."

Episode Date: July 13, 2022

Well you've got to listen now... WHAT was £450??? Vogue & Joanne have plenty of your emails this week, including fetishes, out-of-the-blue breakups and a ghosting that wasn't a ghosting. If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

hello and welcome to the bonus episode of my therapist ghosted me with me boke williams and joanne mcnally oh my god we've got some we've got some good emails right i just wanted to put out a public service announcement for all the single ladies on bumble i recently matched with not one but two chaps around the same time who both had a thing for feet one of them insisted that it'd be good to meet up for him to suck my feet i said to him i'm not really into that he should probably download field oh i have to tell you about that let me say this chap was insisted he stated he would pay for my pedicure in advance as a show of good faith i'm not exactly flush at the moment so i was like okay that sounds all right he

insisted it wasn't a sex i mean who's gonna say no to a pedicure he insisted it wasn't a sexual experience and I didn't have to get undressed or anything now I know what you're thinking this girl is going to get killed well I wasn't really going to meet up with this chap I was just intrigued and being egged on by some girlfriends who found it very entertaining anyway the chap asks what's my fee I have no idea what to charge somebody while I sit there for 30 minutes while he sucks my feet in a London hotel room. One of my girlfriends says 450. The chap agrees and seems delighted with my low fee. We then laugh, sip our wine and look back down my phone to see Bumble has blocked me. I've been blocked for buying or selling services. Oh my God. The PSA I would like to push out to all females as bumbles filters are

fab so don't entertain the creepy foot man even for jokes as you'll get blocked for life oh my god hold on a second i don't know what's more shocking the fact you can let someone suck your toe and get 450 quid in cash tax free vat i'm sorry but like i think that we should look into that because i don't care who wants to suck my feet. Anyone can for 450 quid. But another thing I have just heard of that app field that she mentions there. Have you heard of that? Go on. Well, it's people that are into very, very different kinds of things.

And somebody like, and I was like, like, what kind of different things? And somebody was like, what kind of different things and somebody was like oh well like I don't know if we can keep this in but said that they had pissed in someone's mouth and that was the kind of thing that they were looking for like what I don't want anyone to piss in my mouth so apparently I'd say you've had a bit of piss in your mouth over the years I actually I actually yeah actually even something on the wind beside a urine or just driving past a urine and I'd say a little bit got in

I actually pissed in my own mouth when you think about it when I did the Bear Grylls and I drank my own piss hideous imagine somebody just being like hang on a second and I know boys can't piss when they've got a hard dick so they're not even hard they're just pissing in your mouth before they're turned on I remember reading something about this before when i did that kind

of deep dive on fetishes and it was saying that the part of your brain where the where that deals with arousal is very near the part of your brain that deals with kind of your bladder issues and so the two get i think or no sorry i'm wrong. Just keep going. Listen, don't let the truth get in the way of a good story. Keep going. I like it. The part of your brain that deals with sex is very close to the part of your brain that deals with either feet or urine. Anyway, there's a reason why sometimes they cross over.

I think that's it. More science next week. Yeah, more science from Joanne next week. I'm pretty sure. Hold on. I'm actually gonna google it because are we gonna go on are we gonna go back on to religion next year i don't need to find my jesus book right remember i'm studying jesus piss just isn't sexy i'm sorry there's no way in hell

that like i don't even want someone to piss on me in the shower no i don't want to be pissed on and i don't like the other thing no thanks but field yeah it's this app that you can put in any sexual preference that you like so you can literally like foot fetish people

could do that but imagine paying 450 quid to get your feet sucked the psychology of peeing fetishes we shouldn't be so offensive about this

by the way because actually people are into it and that's fine I have a lot of respect for people with kinks I find myself incredibly boring

I'd love a good kink bit of eye contact and a bit of spooning like I'm very I'm a complete basic bitch yeah but you know what we've spoken about this before let's be honest

like I'm not gonna lock eyes at somebody well not with somebody but Spencer the whole way through like it's just like

come on I know I'm not there's reels there was this thing going around recently right and it's about

what you look like when you're on top of somebody so Jo like you should go on all fours and look down into a mirror

and look how awful you look when you're having sex with somebody that's what your face looks like it's just like wait I'll try

and do mine watch that looks like you're that was my sex noise too that looks like spencer's taking it from behind from you that's what that looks like very unsettling um so water sports they call it or a golden shower known as urophilia probably most prominent impact on the culture was there was an episode of sex in the city when it came up i kind of love that loads of people have so many different kinks this person the same person who was on the field app was telling me loads of their kinks and i thought

fair books to you you're having a great time i think that i wouldn't mind a bit of um what's it called bdsm is that what it's called is that the shit in the um chinese food what are you talking about big into msg i love rubbing myself in sweet and sour fluffier the ball the batter you know the chicken balls i love a chicken ball you're right for you aphelios um it's also sexy because it's used to humiliate somebody Or capture the spirit Of a sexual partner So it fits into

Pretty standard Sadomasochistic ideas About power, humiliation And arousal Uh oh I've been rumbled By Gigi Bring her to me

Bring me the baby princess I want to sit in your lap You want to sit in my lap Okay Say hi Hello Gigi Say hi Jo Hi Jo And say hi Jo say hi Jo and say hi Joanne

hi Joanne are you a good girl or a naughty girl naughty girl it's never a good girl and she's dead right she goes around I've started sparring

who's trained that child to call herself a naughty girl she's gonna get groomed online she's been groomed she goes around and she just I watch her and she'll just like

randomly walk up to theatre and belt him across the head with her spank paddle did you get her that or what no you didn't get her one of course I did Otto has one coming in

for his his christening hello MTGM I got a sign recently that I might have heard few too many of the ghosting dick moves emails on the pod

I've been seeing you guys for five months and we were due to meet up last Saturday morning I messaged to confirm that we'd still meet up the night before and I heard nothing

sent a couple more messages oh can't send more so oh no sent't say more oh no sent a couple more how many more did you say yeah come on

sent a couple more messages that night and more in the morning nothing encouraged by all the tales of injustice on the pod I sent him a lot oh Jesus Christ here's another one I sent him a long message about respect courtesy here's another one i sent him a long message about respect courtesy and whether or not we found the connection that i thought we had i

was angry but sending the messages helped me feel a tiny bit of satisfaction that afternoon he called and apologized for not replying he'd driven his brother to hospital the night before and his brother ended up in surgery for hours it wasn't bullshit because he sent me the pictures of his brother recovering in the rush he'd left his phone safe to say, I jumped on the gun of the fuck you text. At least it's a happy ending. His brother is recovering well, and we're still seeing each other.

Oh. Hmm. Now I have to say, I'm kind of surprised. Couple of hells in the story, couple of hells. Kind of surprised he's still seeing you. I'm kind of surprised you fell for the old brother dying in the hospital line.

I wouldn't be surprised. Like, unless you were showing me a photo of you fell for the old brother dying in the hospital line. I wouldn't be... Like, unless you were showing me a photo of you standing in front of your parents' coffin, I'd be like, there's no excuse to ghost me. I'm sorry.

Unless you're literally giving me a thumbs up from Shangana Cemetery as your mother gets lowered into the ground. I'm just not buying the fact that you left your phone at home.

I'm just not buying it. I'd say he had a wobble and then... I don't think he had a wobble because the wobble would come from me getting loads of messages off somebody like there's a game like and it is a game but like you're either winning it or you're losing it and i still play it even in my marriage like if you're having a fight and you're the one just just hold back and try not to respond to the message. And if you don't respond, you're winning the game. A hundred percent.

It's all complete psychological manipulation. Yeah, God. I sent a few messages, then sent more the next day. Oh my God. There'd be dumps still happening there for me now, I have to say. I can't go into the details of what I truly believe about the psychological manipulation that's involved in relationships because I am recording this in Peter's house and and he can't hear me but trust me when i say it's all psychological manipulation uh joan i've said this i have said this a hundred thousand times before i would not

be married with three children today had i paid any kind of interest in spencer i had i will tell you unless you're like stable and going out with each other you've got to have at least three people on the go even if you're just texting them you gotta have them all on the go 100% everyone's just gaslighting each other down the aisle that's from what I can tell yeah exactly gaslighting each other into oblivion Hi Vogue and Joanne in May I was celebrating a 10 year anniversary with my partner

we decided to go to the beautiful and the somewhat remote Azores Islands thinking I was there after 10 amazing years together owning a flat talking about the next

stages in our lives the fact he had booked a romantic spa hotel that this might finally be the moment wow instead what happened was halfway through the holiday literally on the wednesday he tells me it's over we've drifted apart apparently he says he doesn't want children for at least another five years i'm 36 and so said it was unfair to have me waiting around at no point had i actually said i

was desperate for babies he then goes on to tell me he's met someone else who has a deep connection with and wants to pursue it these were his actual words i find out that he slept with her two days before our 10-year anniversary oh no so there i am stuck in this island in the middle of the ocean with the next direct flight not until the saturday oh and thanks ryanair our flight was cancelled so we had yet another night to endure together to make matters even worse when we got home he asked me for half the hotel and restaurant costs when i told him I was surprised to be asked for the money, he apologized and said he was on autopilot. Autopilot? You're automatically a dickhead. Oh my God, that was her first relationship, so her first big breakup.

That is absolutely, like, why would you take someone away with you when you've done that? I just think some people are just like a certain level of awful like if that was my kid who did that to somebody I'd be like what is wrong with you I'd say what happened there was the holiday was obviously booked in advance he felt they were drifting apart but he was like I'm gonna go at the holiday then he rode your one went to the holiday anyway and then they were spending so much time together on the holiday, he cracked and was like, I need to just say it now. Badly. It was a bad plan.

That's what happens. People don't just... You can't take someone away and do it. Like, just be thoughtful. I don't think he did the plan to. I'd say that just fell out of his mouth.

It's like when you're in love, it just falls out of your mouth. When you're out of love, that falls out of your mouth too. I just, I think, no. I think that i think that like if you slept with someone two days before don't go on the holiday don't be mean like that and go on the holiday it's not fair people don't react that quickly people take their time over these things this is what i was reading recently they're like people don't just leave relationships they slowly dismantle them brick by brick by brick

you don't just walk out the second you've diedazed no one does that well the long goodbye I've told you about the long goodbye you have to make sure there's a little something like something spicy on the other side there folk I if I had a penny for every time you talked about having something spicy on the side or having something lined up I'd have as much money as you so now I want to know who have you got lined up I'm on I'm on I'm in a good spot my relationship but I know that there would be, if I really needed to have someone on the boil, I could have someone ready.

I should really start texting someone, shouldn't I? Shouldn't I? I think you should. How long are you married now? Long enough to be texting someone else.

Yeah, you need to have someone on the boil. I don't even, should I have someone on the boil? No, no, no, too young,

too young in a relationship. Yeah, too fresh, too new. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'm joking people, I don't have anyone else in the boil. I don't have time to have anyone on the boil.

Vogue Williams puts on a slaggy display. A slaggy display, yeah. That's all from us for this week. Obviously, I'm on tour. The UK dates are all up on my website and also the Newcastle bar date is up Bye.