My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "She pounced..."

Episode Date: June 28, 2023

How good is your gaydar? Would you join a Friday night prayer group if it was happening in your living room? These are the questions asked of Vogue & Joanne this week, plus, tweakments, accents and yet more from the Wagatha Christie saga.If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/MTGM is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! For tickets, merch and more, visit mytherapistghostedme.comFor more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThis episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.Thank you!

This is a Global Player Original Podcast. fairy non-bioplatinum pods and they were like and I was like fairy non-bioplatinum pods and they were like no platinum and I was like platinum platinum and I was like platinum and they were like why are you saying it like that and I was like why are you saying it like that

and they let me have it because it was my Irish accent it's platinum platinum when I did the voiceover for Celebrity Detox they had to just constantly drink their own piss

so I was saying there was certainly elements of it for sure and I was like oh drinking around urine and they were like excuse me again I was working with an English company and they were like I was like urine they're like it's urine I was like no it's not

it's urine I was like well it's actually piss but I'm being posh for you and it's urine I'm being posh and they're like no it's urine. I was like, well, it's actually piss, but I'm being posh for you. And it's urine. I'm being posh. Urine. And they're like, no,

it's urine. Yeah, it is urine. Urine. And so they went back to like the channel and came back and they're like, no,

no, it's, it's, we'd like you to use urine, please. And I was like, okay, this makes no sense.

Urine. Okay. I love, I love our accents. Anyway, me too. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode.

They're quite controversial. Even Joe knows that at this stage. At least we love our accents. Anyway, me too. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode. They're quite controversial. Even Jo knows that at this stage. At least we love our accents because nobody else does. Oh my God. Sorry. Speaking of voices, yesterday I'm on the phone, not for a short amount of time, for at least 11 minutes because I'm trying to return this thing to a company

because I got the wrong size. And obviously it's under Spencer's name and they're like okay Spencer and I'm like have they not figured out that I'm not a bloke but I mean these days

like names you know what I mean like one of my friends kids is called Frank but he is a boy but he could be a girl it doesn't matter

Frank's your dad's name Frank's my dad's name yeah Frank and Freddie Frank and Freddie up there on the piss Frank McNally and Freddie Williams My dad is a big Guinness man Where was your dad from Vogue?

Scarys Scarys Okay yeah yeah Where was your dad from? Lancashire Lancashire Lancashire That's probably not even

The right accent is it? I think that's Liverpool I think I just did a Liverpoolian accent Lancashire Lancashire Alright alright Lancashire Lancashire Yo you knowire. All right, all right, Lancashire.

Lancashire. Joe, you know it better. He was from Preston. I'm not going to jump in and try and do an accent. You're not a million miles away, but I don't think you're quite there. Daddy! Imagine Joe just doesn't know to start crying like, Daddy's back! Do you remember his voice?

Yes, I do, actually. Me too. Yeah, but do you know it's funny because because our daddy's died back before there was like voice notes and all that shit I can only imagine now I don't know if I'd like it or not like it if someone in your life died now you'd have so much of them to listen back to all the time and I don't know if I'd I'd love that people die and they just drift away do you know what I mean no I think I'd love that. Sometimes it's nice when people die and they just drift away. Do you know what I mean? No, I think I'd love that. Like, I still know my dad's phone number and stuff.

We give him a call and see if he answers. Give him a bell! But I think I'd like that. Like, Kim Kardashian, Kanye West going to that hologram of her dad, that's a bit weird. I forgot about that. Yeah. I actually think I'm a bit, like,

out of sight, out of mind. I just made a decision somewhere along the line to just never think about it so I'm never sad. If you were to come back

in a hologram, I'd probably be completely triggered and end up in an asylum. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I think I suppressed a lot of this. You have a great way

of dealing with grief. Yeah. Decompartmentalize. Bury it. Yeah. But that's how I suppressed a lot. You have a great way of dealing with grief. Yeah. Decompartmentalize. Bury it. Yeah. But that's how I deal with things. Don't think about it. Don't think about it.

Don't think about it. Don't think about it. La, la, la, la, la. Don't think about it. It's not the worst way of dealing with things, in fairness. I was back in Vicar last night. Yeah. Five left.

And the heat. Oh, my God. I had to stop theicar last night. Yeah. Five left. And the heat. Oh my God. I had to stop the show and get a towel. Stop with the sweat? I was just, well, I just screamed off into the wings. Mary! I need a towel. Yeah.

Like, it's boiling. Ireland can't cope with that kind of weather. Well, we can in Hoth, obviously, because we've got the lovely sea breeze up there I'm going to have to start doing outdoor gigs Ireland can't cope

with it there's loads of really good gigs going on in Malahide Castle and stuff like that like that's the place to be oh my god oh my god I'm going to Glastonbury tomorrow can you believe it

Joe how come you're not going you're from there because he's got a baby because of my four month old baby I'm really thrilled about it. Oh, God. It's worth saying that this is next Wednesday now, so it's all happened.

It's all finished. It's all happened. It's all finished. You're going to be post-Glastow, Vogue. You could be a completely different person. You could have done an acid trip in those rabbit tunnels that they do. Oh, maybe.

Maybe I'll find an ayahuasca master and just stay and vomit and shit myself all weekend. Why do you say ayahuasca? What do you know that we don't? Why, what do you say? Ayahuasca. Ayahuasca. I just stayed and vomited and shit myself all weekend why do you say ayahuasca what do you know that we don't why what do you say ayahuasca ayahuasca i don't know why do you say urine urine yeah i saw something that i really liked um in the news this week and i don't know why i think it's because we are all about like women aging the way they want to wait age and aging positively and stuff like that and I just thought that this well we are we aren't I mean we let's be clear we are and we also but we also love a tweakment oh do you know what I mean adore a tweakment yeah adore it um yeah but we age positively age well trying as I'm staring at

my neck thinking Christ I think I need neck neck phylo um if Joanne can do her knee I can do my neck we give it then we take it the way we're like age how you want oh my god my neck is so long though it's like twice the size of other people's necks I'm like a giraffe and he's sort of like no anyway speaking of aging positively Kat Sadler you know that e-news presenter

in America see I used to love live for e-news did you not I used to love it so much I don't know her let me google anyway

she got a facelift at 48 and she actually like she got a facelift like an eye lift like everything lifted now she looks incredible

but she's come out and just said it off her own bat but that this is this is where I come from on the topic

so that will stick with her forever that's why some shit you just like you just keep it to yourself but it's not even about hiding it it's just that you just

don't want to be like but this woman Kat Sadler has come out and admit it So I know you're very addicted To the Wagatha Christy Stuff

Yeah the play that you Wouldn't come to see with me I know they are also real people But How shocking When I'm back in July Would you not just Come on

Come on Christ John Come on Val come on That's where you're taking me Yeah come on Big ass If I can get us free If I can get us free tickets

Fuck's sake Well I want to support the arts So See if I can get a discount Give me half price Anyway I miss I miss theatres

I know But I'd love to go and see I'll go see Hamilton with you How about Right I'd love to go and see I'll go see Hamilton with you how about right you come see Hamilton with me and I'll go see fucking Waggett the Christie with you

like seriously even listen to how that sounds yay I love that that's a great deal okay but uh Colleen Rooney right

so Rebecca Vardy went saying that like um she has to pay these inflated legal fees to to Colleen Rooney, right? So Rebecca Vardy went saying that she has to pay these inflated legal fees to Colleen Rooney because she lost the court case. So she has to pay like 1.8 million. She's claiming that Colleen has put in lunches

at Nobu and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And Colleen Rooney hit back and basically said that, oh my God, hang on a second. The judge ruled that Miss Vardy should pay 90% of Rooney's legal cost which amounts to

1.8 million which is 500 grand above the original estimate yeah but who made the estimate this is the thing and also what I would say is

Colleen Rooney is a multi-millionaire she eats a nobu so if she's up in London for a court case that you're making her do she's going to have

lunch a nobu and there are costs it we only eat in press Colleen does not eat prat sandwiches Colleen's not gonna be eating at the co-op Rebecca come on I know you know what I mean well supposedly Colleen hit back and said that that wasn't true that she was just bullshitting that all these things that were gone extra and I tend to believe Colleen Rooney for some strange reason and also Colleen said I actually gave her a longer length of time to pay it

so I've only put them in now because I wanted to give her time to save the money to pay the bill now I don't know whether that's true I mean it's both probably solicitors speaking

on their side anyway but Rebecca you've lost babe just fucking pay the money you made a big set up a GoFundMe if... Set up a GoFundMe. If she set up a GoFundMe, I guarantee she'd make a bank

on the World Wide Web. I'd say there's people out there who really feel for her. I'd be one of them, actually. I think the whole thing was absolutely ridiculous. I think the fact that 1.8 million is being wasted on legal fees

when like that could go to a nice cause to help something else. It kind of just aggravates me. It could go to your facelift. It could go to my future facelift, a hundred percent. It could go to getting Joe and Nanny, so we could go to Glastonbury.

Real proper causes, you know, important things. Important five things. But, but like Rebecca, I feel for Rebecca because obviously we watched the whole thing play out. And I feel like it was,

it just, it escalated to the point of no return that she just felt she couldn't step down and she powered on and I think she thought it was like

it seems to me they did she didn't understand she thought she was in the right because I think it was her someone else was

actually selling the stories I think she thought that somebody else was gonna yeah so she was gonna get off on a practicality if you get me even though I think she was her someone else was actually selling the stories I think she thought that somebody else was gonna yeah so she was gonna get off on a practicality if you get me even though I think

she was definitely involved in the leaking of the stories allegedly allegedly allegedly I think she was passing information to someone else who was then selling the stories

so she was like well I didn't sell the stories so I'm gonna go to court and clear my name 1.8 million though pay for pay for Nobu if I was her

try and do a collab With Nobu I'd say Can I cut the ribbon On a new Nobu Or something here Come on Is there something we can do

It's so bad though Like 1.8 million Like that's what After tax Jo 3.6 million She'll have had to make 3.6 million To make that 1.8 million

This will roll on And on and on Also Hold on Isn't her fella a big footballer Surely he's on like Six bill a week or something What does Jamie Vard 6 million to make that 1.8 million this will roll on and on and on also hold on isn't her fella a big footballer surely he's on like 6 bill a week or something

what does Jamie Vardy earn Joe a week I'd be like honey can I talk to you in the kitchen for a second couldn't get a lend

could I how much sorry what's he on Joe it reckons about 7.2 or 7.3 million a year so she's to pay 3.8 or 7.3 million a year so she's to pay

3.8 well 1.8 it's a lot of money for your pride which you lost anyway do you know what I mean you lost your position anyway

there's nothing worse than getting a little stab at your pride I mean Joanne and my pride is so low that it would take a lot to affect us

I spent me and folks spent a lot of time losing our egos like okay got knocked another 5% off our ego there every day is a

humbling experience damn it okay girls I'm a 34 year old gay male listener i'm sure the straight ones exist but i'm not one thought you'd like this i started a new job in an office well i didn't do that he did that okay a few months ago and since the beginning my straight female boss has been weird it all came to a head during some after work drinks in the sun the other day oh we all had a few and she said she'd get the train home with me we got a little can wine for the journey and one to skip a few she pounced proper fuck me eyes

now to be honest oh no how she didn't already know was beyond me but when i told her i was gay she reacted as though i told her she smelled of shite do some people just not have a gaydar surely you two usually know when a lad wouldn't be dancing to your tune i think i i i have a quite a decent gaydar i have a decent gaydar too now i will say i have been incorrect at times but usually it's i i think they're gay and they're straight I have never I don't think I've ever thought someone was straight and they were gay although although I can think of a few now that if I hadn't known all along yeah but also do you know what there's a couple of gay people that I'm friends with that like I definitely would go there like Brian right

oh yeah I've told Hadley would probably get it come on Hadley's a babe yeah you see so maybe she just maybe she knew and she was just

chancing her arm my first boyfriend is now gay and we're like best friends so women the other thing is and like I mean

obviously stereotyping through the roof here but like there is a particular rapport between straight women and gay men that maybe she just misread you know what I mean yeah i agree with you that like a lot of a lot of my male friends are like well i'd say 99.9 percent of them are gay yeah if i wasn't a straight woman

i'd be a gay man definitely i've got it in my bones you're like jennifer coolidge she says the same thing yeah and they're like j Coolidge is like if I come back I'd like to be a gay man they're like why and she goes I don't know I just think I'd be really good at it yeah

yeah I reckon so that's the life you want to live but also do you know what as well if I came on to a gay man and he was like come here I'm gay

I'd just be a bit embarrassed I don't think I don't think I'd feel rejection in the same way as if I came on to a straight man and he was like I'm just not actually attracted to I don't think I don't think I'd feel Rejection in the same way As if it came into A straight man And he was like I'm just not actually Attracted to you in any way

Shape or form Yeah I think you'd be a bit Embarrassed and you'd be like Oh well at least We can be mates Yeah I'd be like

Oh god sorry okay Let's go dance to Ba-dum ba-dum Ba-dum ba-dum It's bad Am I Am I the only person Who doesn't like that

New Kylie song I feel like I'm I actually don't know I'm losing it I'll listen to it it is a bit earwormy it does get in it's catchy

apparently one of the main radio stations in the UK wouldn't play it although they're saying that's an ageist thing anyway Kylie's having a ball

I just I wouldn't be mad about it but it's Kylie's she's having a moment again she's having a moment she's back I think Kylie's always had the moment everyone's obsessed for Kylie every time she releases a moment again She's having a moment She's back I think Kylie's always

Had the moment Everyone's obsessed for Kylie Every time she releases a song Not every time now There have been some turkeys But usually Yeah It does really well

People just love her And she's just consistently good The best was out of my head though The video Her choreography The outfits She's like She always just looks like

This teeny tiny She looks like she's popped out Of one of those Ballerina boxes all the time You know this ballerina Yeah She's just so petite And perfectly put together

She's perfectly formed I know I'd love To be tiny like that I suppose when you're a giant Like us It's not When you see like Little people like that

It's like I want to be like Little people No I'm a I like having the heights now I like it Oh do you I don't yeah yeah

okay next email Joanne Vogue and Jo oh what the fuck sorry I'll do that again Jo cut that bit out Joanne and Vogue

I said it excuse me Jo shut off your camera this is yeah I won't be answering your email there's nothing that I can say to your email

so there's no there's no real point. I'm an expat abroad. And when I first moved to the country I live in, I wanted to move in with housemates so I could get to know some people and have some company. That being said, I'm still a hyper-independent person like Joanne.

I like the idea of having people around without actually spending time with them. That is you, Joanne huge I know you're there but you're just hidden away I can hear the shower going but I don't have to look you in the face

anyway after moving into the house I found out that one of my housemates was a member of Hillsong and every Friday night she would host what's Hillsong

what's Hillsong it's a globally diverse church which is committed to racial equality and justice for all to proclaim the good news of Jesus Christ. Okay. Okay.

Okay. She was a member of Hillsong and every Friday night... I'll hold judgment until we hear at the end of the email. Yeah, yeah. She would host around 30 people in our lounge

while they watched sermons together and sang religious tunes. It wasn't really an option. Not quite the social scene you're looking for, to be fair now. It wasn't really an option to spend Friday nights in eating pizza on the sofa, so I had to go out. During this time, I had some pretty loose Friday nights where I went out drunk and partied in the hope that they would leave before I got home. The gatherings often went on until 1am. On one occasion, I went home with a one night stand and had to march the lucky man through the gathering. The next day I woke up to a Bible outside my bedroom door with post-it notes indicating my sexual intercourse before marriage is wrong.

Oh, come on. I know. notes indicating why sexual intercourse before marriage is wrong on a separate i know but like like i'm all for everyone having their own beliefs and your own religious beliefs but like don't push your beliefs onto anybody else because everyone can have their own beliefs yeah i mean but i did wait until marriage i did yeah it's kind of believable because I got married so young I was a journalist on a separate occasion Alan puts a towel down every time in case my hymen

cracks because he just uses the tip because obviously we're not married on a separate occasion we're very respectful just nibble him gently And then Just tap Tap the opening

Without actually going in Because there ain't a ring There's no ring on this fucking finger You know what I mean This is how we've chosen To live our lives And people should respect it I would have joined Hillsong

They wouldn't have you Here's another one On a separate occasion This is how we've chosen to live our lives and people should respect it. I want to join Hillsong. They wouldn't have you. Here's another one. On a sacred occasion, I got home insanely drunk, tiptoed through the gathering to my room, felt the need to chunder, but couldn't go to the bathroom because there were so many people in the house doing a sermon. So I went outside the house and threw up in a bin in an alleyway. Oh, the shame. Wow. That's very interesting.

I mean, so I love when shit like that happens because they're great stories. I'd love to live with a cult. They are great stories. I'd probably join. I used to have the same. I'd probably join. Do you know what I mean?

I've said before, I'm suggestible. And I love, I would sing a song on a Friday night. Why wouldn't you want to join in? Do you know what I mean? I used to have the same thing with a flatmate, but like he would go on the piss on a Friday night and then he would still be up on the Saturday morning drinking. So I'd be up at like half seven,

getting ready to go to the gym and he'd just be there with like cans. I'd be like, and it was every Saturday morning. So I kind of had to just leave the house on a Saturday morning. Yeah. I remember the first house I lived in when I moved out

it was a bit of a party house and em it was I was the only girl in the house and I remember that it just got

scalded do you know what I mean it just got a bit scalded and I remember one morning I came down and there was a guy I didn't know in what I'm assuming

was a K-hole on the couch and I just said no more and I went back to my mum's and I don't think I everhole on the couch And I just said No more And I went back to my mum's And I don't think I ever went back to that house I just moved all my shit out So for the English listener

What was that word before? Scaldie Oh Scaldie Scaldie Do you not know Scaldie? No it might just be me Scaldie So like just

A bit like You know Crusty Things just got a bit crusty. Yeah, I know. You don't want to live in a crust infested house. Young lads, young lads partying in a house,

you know. It's rotten. Yeah, and like, it's rotten. Another news. Oh yeah. Well, it's not really news. Winnie Pegg.

Win Pegg. But that's, we've decided that's just called the Pegg. I've introduced Alan to mimosas. Yeah. Which, as you know, Joe, is the drink of the brunching. Oh, yes, yes. Orange juice and champagne.

It's champagne or Prosecco with orange juice. And he loves them so much that he has thrown away the rules of the mimosa and last night the night before last he had a beef stew at 10pm with the mimosa that's really disgusting

I was like what are you doing he's like I'm having a mimosa with dinner and I was like Alan that's not how

mimosas work you sick bastard I just the stew gets me more than the mimosa like i just i have a real thing against you what i know it's and it's it looks so unappealing it just it has it doesn't it the aesthetics are all off my friend ashley my friend ashley used to have a like well she would go out in the piss and then for some reason her husband would be in because I've got a kid

and for some reason every time she was hung over he'd be like oh I made a nice stew there and she'd be like please God I just hung over eating a stew

well not for breakfast but at night it is quite hearty John I can't imagine you ate any of that stew no while we have you any of that shoe. No! While we have you,

Vogue and I are on tour with Ghosted Live. We're back in September. We finished our spring tour, Vogue. Oh, that was for spring. Okay, we're back. You were springing. You were on spring tour.

It did feel like I had a spring in my step. You did spring in your step. And now you're going to be on autumn, autumnal touring for Vogue. We're going to Brighton Down. We're going to Bristol. We're going to Liverpool. We're going back to Liverpool.

And then we have, we've got three London Apollos. They're all on our new website, mytherapistgoestome.com. Bye.