My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "Speaking of ski masks..."

Episode Date: December 14, 2022

Whilst Vogue falls down a Christmas party hole, Joanne has discovered something about Prada Peter that she can't move past... Plus, crime stopping and a safari! MTGM is going on tour in Ireland & The UK! Remember to check the venue websites as well as Ticketmaster! For more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

This is a Global Player Original Podcast. Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Bo Williams and Joanne McNally. McNally. Who? With me, Bo Williams and Finn Borrow too. Did I tell you I got yellow fever today? No, Finn borrow too. Did I tell you I got yellow fever today? No, you didn't.

That's... Did you? Yeah, because I'm off on safari now. Did I tell you that? Johnny went on safari with the company. Oh, you got the injection?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's a live... I thought you had yellow fever. I was like, you were just in my house. You don't have yellow fever. It's a live vaccine, Vogue. Don't be jealous.

I've got yellow fever. Okay? You don't have yellow fever. It's a live vaccine Vogue. Don't be jealous. I've got yellow fever. Okay. You don't have yellow fever. Anyway I'm going on safari with this company called East African Experience Company. Pluggy plug plug plug.

So I'm off to have brunch with the hippos in January. Stay away from the hippos. So all the vaccines have to start. Bye. They are. The hippos are the worst of all the animals.

I told you that. The worst of all the animals. Are they? They look so cute with their little gammy teeth and like tiny little smiles. Have you ever watched videos of people being chased

by a hippo on safari? Really? They are like tyrants. Hippos like rule the whole world. Oh my God, I can't wait for the content. I'm going to bring my ring light so when I get sucked

into the mouth of an alligator I can be like... She'll be doing a video of her being death rolled. Like whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Tagging Zara the short. Tagging

Larry King hair in the highlight covered in blood. Listen. Are you going to that cafe where the giraffes are and they eat your food? I don't know. I don't know. I have to actually look properly at the itinerary. I haven't been, I haven't actually focused on it properly.

But I want to kind of look into where exactly I'm going. I'm going to Kenya and I'm going to Tanzania. Very exciting. Anyway, so today. Oh, I know. Yeah, I know someone in Tanzania actually randomly enough. Oh, who? I have a friend in Tanzania that you might want

a little hook up with please don't offer to hook me up with your friend in Tanzania like do you know you're like I'm going to be in Paris for an hour they're like oh my god

I've got family there when I say he's a friend I've never met him he's more of a friend of Spencer's good crack though you might want to meet my pal

is he a prince who asked you for your money you're like I have a friend over there he's trying to put money in someone's safe account that's so weird he emails me on the regular Tanzania's amazing you should go what sort of a place near Tanzania

Zanzibar that would be a nice place that's where we're going shut the hell god damn up living her life it might be a nice time to tell you we're going on holidays from the pod

because Joanne's busy and she's busy messing with the hippos in Zanzibar oh and I suppose let's are we going to pretend that you'll be at

you'll be at home with the children folk will be skiing won't you miss skiing no Joanne not until after yes I will okay fine

yes I will be skiing I can't believe you're going to Zanzibar that's amazing I've always wanted to go there actually I love when you try things out for me

and then I'll decide if I should like I know hopefully get a hopefully get a nice trip from folks like

Africa hello Spencer's mom is African I'm more African than you are I will tell you though Spenny did one of those you know those

what are they called those things where you see your ancestry I've never seen a more broken man than when he got a resource because I'd be thinking I'm a Viking I'm from the Spanish Armada Spenny is just English

that's all I came up from English, English, English and That's all I came up from. English, English, English. And there's nothing wrong with that. But you're hoping for a little bit of a Nordic swirl within your DNA. Nothing from just English. Yeah. That explains a lot. Yeah, I know.

Just inbred. Desperate. Yeah. I'm actually really excited to see your content around that so when you see a hippo I would suggest jump out of the van chase it for a little while see your great content

I'm like hippo I have a great contact in Invisalign if you want to do a collab why don't I give you a few of those teeth whitening strips to bring with you, hand them over you'll be left alone it's actually very exciting I know I've I've been on safari um it is kind of amazing because you're obviously going you're going to see if you can see the big five and it's amazing to see the animals the big five so you've got the lion you've got well I'd like a cheetah a giraffe elephants elephants also look very friendly

not so friendly really? that's what the elephants know well I would say I would say they're all wild animals yeah yeah yeah so just

yeah just be aware Jo I know you're still waiting for me to go through the big five I'm not bloody David Attenborough okay I got to three cheetah

folks like what else can I wear cheetah David Attenborough, okay? I got to three. Well, you were cocky when you said... Vogue's like, what else can I wear? Cheetah and Pala. Theodore comes up to me with all these, like he knows every single animal under the sun

and he goes to me last night when he was in bed, he was like, Mamay? I was like, yeah. And he goes, are cheetahs from the savannah or are they from the rainforest?

And I was like, cheetahs are from savannah or are they from the rainforest and i was like cheetahs are from essex yeah but i actually thought i was like well i'm gonna say savannah here in this case and he came home and he was like there's a bongo there's a bongo and i was like what the hell is he talking about bongos for it's some kind of an animal is a bongo a bongo animal bongo you're gonna have the best time ever honestly that is like it's kind of like one of those things where it's like the holiday of a lifetime where you just but you are sitting in a in a smelly old truck but you're going around you're seeing all these animals in a natural habitat zebras and stuff like i don't know if i'm going i think this east african experience east african experience company are kind of high end oh i'm

kind of jealous they were like oh look through the list obviously so that's why I had got yellow fever at the moment

and em I'm going to have hepatitis next week it's very exciting Joanne has yellow fever this week next week she's just on a roll

with all that kind of hepatitis jazz oh and there's a shot that you can get to avoid inconvenient diarrhea. I was like, I don't know what convenient diarrhea is,

but I'm certainly up for avoiding the inconvenient type. Oh my God. No one wants a bit of diarrhea. Thank you. Anyway, yeah, I'm off to Africa. There was something that we didn't do from the last pod that I actually found quite funny. Now we did do the goblin mode,

but there's two headlines, right, that I want you to try and guess. Okay. Okay. Schoolboy gets hypnosis to cure him of his blank addiction. Breathfeeding. Close. Very close, Joanne. Beige food.

Noah's breakfast. very close Joanne beige food Noah's breakfast Noah's breakfast consisted of toast with jam pancakes or dry

Cheerios without milk lunch would be a ham sandwich or jam sandwich or plain pasta and for tea Noah would tuck into chips, chicken nuggets pizza or a plain

chicken wrap Noah has got his life sorted I don't think that sounds bad that sounds bad. That sounds delicious. The only thing I would change is I would throw some milk on the Cheerios. Other than that, I'm like, that's your fucking

boom, boom, boom. Grand. He's got a better diet than me. When I was pregnant, I swear to God, all I ate, this is before the dip tabs kicked in, which I haven't actually touched since pregnancy. Cheese on toast toast that's all I had I'd find myself awake at three

in the morning and I'd sit there and I'd eat cheese on toast with a can of coke I almost want to be pregnant again so I can do that like just sit up on my own at three in the morning and have cheese on toast with a can of coke you literally gave birth seven minutes ago don't worry touch wood I can smell the placenta off you will you fucking calm down

guys it's the wood. I can smell the placenta off you. Will you fucking calm down? Guys, it's the Christmas parties. I can't. Is that what it is? I've two more Christmas parties this week. You're like, that's not placenta. That's a bowl of popo region. Well, look at the fucking sound of me. Okay.

Okay, one more headline. One more headline. One more thing. Do you know when you're talking about cravings when you're pregnant? I think I said this before. I'll never forget. I was talking to this girl. And I understand cravings because your body, obviously, when you're talking about cravings when you're pregnant i think i said this before i'll never forget i was talking to this girl and i understand cravings because like your body obviously when you're pregnant needs all these things and so it kind of presents itself

as cravings for stuff but like some women take the piss this girl was like she was pregnant she's like i'd fucking love a leather shoe and i was like what she goes yeah i can't stop thinking about just like chewing a shoe. And I was like, gross. What, the baby's still sweating for a brogue? I don't believe you. I think she was being true. I think she's just making it up.

Do you know what I mean? No, that's a thing. It is a thing. Women want things to eat like mud and stuff and broken glass and weird shit. Look it up. It's a thing. That sounds like nine hours into a bottomless brunch, to be honest. It doesn't sound like a pregnancy craving. No, that's a bit, it's a thing that sounds like nine hours into a bottomless brunch to be honest it doesn't sound

like a pregnancy craving no that's a bit that's a little bit I used to I loved an orange myself a bit of an orange of course you want

of course of course folk craved fresh fruit I wanted an orange well Joanne come on like my other things I've eaten nine

satsumas today I hate myself my sugar intake is too high excuse me I was living on dip dabs. I had dip dabs, stinger bars. I didn't even shave my bikini. Sorry, not my bikini, kiwis.

You're the one that's just eating hairy kiwis, you dirty little bitch. Here, do you want to do one more headline? Yeah. Woman shocked its family plan alternate Christmas without her because she banned

blank Is it food focused? No It's one of your favourite things in the whole world Booze Yes Bitch

Get lost Sorry Goblin mode Booze Yeah no no Not acceptable I'm fucking van and booze For Christmas

Just cancel the whole thing Do you think she's Had a couple of drinks Before we got nailed to the cross Grow up Yeah Grow up No one's going to

Go through that rig Morales However Shall we go on to listener emails? Sure. Okay. Hey, Vogue and Joanne. I was walking down the street near Battersea Park earlier today and was listening intently to the heated debate

about who wore jumpsuits first, Vogue or Joanne. I was so engraced in this that it took me far longer than it should for me to realise some random criminals had driven up to a parked Range Rover on the other side of the street, smashed the back window and tried to steal stuff from inside it. I finally pulled out my earphones, not knowing at this

stage who had won the jumpsuit debate and would need to circle back to see a guy in a ski mask getting in his getaway car and speeding off. I managed to get the license plate number and give it to the owner of the car, and there were other witnesses who had seen the whole thing, and no one was hurt, which was lucky. What a day. Maybe I should just listen to the pod of my house from now on in case I'm needed to fight crime again. I will tell you one bloody thing.

I think that's really sad that the important part of the day was interrupted by a crime, because... I will tell you one bloody thing. I think that's really sad that the important part of the day was interrupted by a crime because. I will tell you one thing. I was in Battersea Park the other day and there was a Range Rover. Spenny and I were on a run and I said, look at that Range Rover. The windows smashed in. Like, could that be a different Range Rover or was that the

Range Rover that she was talking about? What were you wearing in Battersea Park? Running gear. Exactly. Wasn't a jumpsuit. My point is made. Joanne McNally, I'm not going to keep having the jumpsuit debate with you, right? If you really

want to go down to any town and anywhere you want, okay? You will just know to find me in a jumpsuit sitting up at the bar okay that's it that's it

I don't wear any more clothes in the world except jumpsuits okay I even wear onesies to bed I'm taking it back I'm taking it back speaking of ski masks

the way the creams are wearing they were like robbing the land over or whatever something very shocking happened to me today what

yeah so I got into the car with Alan and turned to my right and out of nowhere realized he was wearing a snood. Now, obviously, I rang the guards immediately. I was like, I've been abducted by someone from 2002 and I need to be saved and rescued immediately please smash the windows the car just fucking get me out

a snood John in his defence no no defence I'm just telling you me and me have brought out their own version of snooze, okay? He's in fashion, eh? And they are 700 quid

from me and Miu or something like that crazy. And I would hope Alan hasn't paid that kind of... They are in fashion, eh? Unless you're throwing a petrol bomb at a political protest

for your banksy. There's no, there's no excuse for wearing a snooze. I'm sorry. You're not in the fashion circle. You're not in the fashion circle. You're not in the fashion circle. Get yourself a Montclair

and pop on your snood and then you will be fashion on. I'm sorry, are you bringing out a line of snoods for Little Mistress? No, you're fucking not. Okay. Maybe I will. Maybe I'm behind the times.

Don't slag Alan. But seriously, I wouldn't accept that out of Spencer to be fair I put it up I was saying on Insta I was like it's you know and you just

it's your first winter with a new boyfriend and you didn't realise that he wears snoods and this girl messaged back and she was like I met my husband didn't I beat that

and so he's just wearing shorts and flip flops and we went home she goes and I had to deal with the fact the sobering fact he wears flares and I was like

oh god yeah see few things I can get over I could get over the snoot because I know that they're in fashion now no but but they're not

do you want do you want I'm going to send you images right now right from the catwalks of uh francais are you talking about the way the fact that fucking Kanye West wears a balaclava covering his face kanye west wears a gimp mask

i'd run fucking wrong if he's wearing a gimp mask he's a gimp i could deal with him wearing a gimp mask it's a snout it's like is it is it a scarf is it a hat what the fuck is it it's disgusting i don't know we're going and on that note, we're going, and on that note, leave him alone. I'm going to text Alan and tell him not to give you a lift to Vicar Street. I'll say,

she's bitching about you on the pod, Alan. Don't give her a lift. Order her a taxi. He knows. Could I borrow that snood? Walks outside, sets fire to it in the garden.

Don't fuck with me. Can I grab the snood for a second, please? Can I just take the snood into the garden. Don't fuck with me. Can I grab the snood for a second, please? Can I just take the snood into the garden? Is that okay? Just want to spend a bit of time at the snood.

I'm on tour. Me and Val are on tour. I've got a London date for Prosecco and we've got London and Cardiff and Glasgow dates for Galsdard.

Well, well done. Gael's not on tour. Louisa just said to me, she was like, there's four days that you'll be away. I was like, okay, great. And she's like, no, four days. I was like, yeah, great. Away for what?

Away with touring. She was like, four nights in a row. And I was like, to be honest with you, today that sounds like a nice amount of time away it was fine I'll take it I'll take it thank you very much

let's put that in the road can't wait to meet you alright listen that's it from us God bless and I will be God bless are you rolling Keith

God bless I will be turning off my camera so that Joe doesn't watch me like the fucking pervy elf on the shelf that he is. Fuck you!