My Therapist Ghosted Me - MTGM EXTRA! "The L Word..."

Episode Date: January 19, 2022

Here's your last fix until Season 3, but don't worry, it's not too long to wait! Vogue & Joanne will return in February with plenty more. This time, they're exchanging couples questions and answering your emails about "two-night stands" and the "L word...." If you'd like to get in touch, you can send an email to [e-mail] more information about Joanne's gigs, just visit www.joannemcnally.comThank you!

hello and welcome to an extra episode of my therapist ghosted me with me vogue williams and joanne mcnally we love getting your emails so keep sending them in please let us know your ics fricks dick moves cheats spoofers and anything else send them all to hello at mtgmpod.com Lots of people always ask me, they're like, how can I watch the full video? I'm like, thank fuck, you can't watch the full video. I know. We'd be cancelled. We would be cancelled. Well, he would

have to do it, he would have to edit the video like he does the pod. I'm sure we could demand a separate videographer if we wanted. Like, it's so stupid that you hate making them so much you make us feel so bad about it like and you know that that's what i mean the amount of people who want to see the podcast i think that we should do lives and then we'll finish the tour in september go to b4 but no we don't actually record all of the the pod because joanne and i say things that we shouldn't say and joe kindly takes them out for us you're

dead right i thought okay spenny and i used to do this on our pod and i actually got boring because we did it for so long but i loved doing it and i thought that we could do it together just one i'm not going to force you into this as a regular. Okay. Right? They're couples questions. So they're about couples. So we're basically a lesbian couple now.

Me and you. Love it. What would you describe as the happiest moment of your life? Ooh. That's like, I kind of, so far, I think that question should say. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, we can't predict the future. I think, I think I question should say. Yeah, well, I mean, we can't predict the future. I think I can't say either child.

I'll have to say, I'm kind of backed into a corner here. I have to say it was one of my children's births. Insert name here, which everyone's listening at the time. Oh my God, I know what yours is. What? I'm so jealous about it still. Joanne went and got loads of clothes for like 70 off i'm not that much of a shallow bitch like i do i have been satisfied in other areas of my life i will say though i did a

fucking number on that brown tea the bt2 sale yesterday and i what's the happiest moment in my life it's probably career based which is pathetic but it is probably maybe when do you know what's coming up i'm about to put the hammersmith apollo on sale i think i'll be happy about that i tend to be happy about something and then in three minutes i'm i'm like what's the next thing forget about it what happened to the palladium oh do you know another one that i wanted to know describe me in three words and i'll describe you in three words oh hot driven kind oh my god i definitely thought you were gonna say Ooh, hot, driven, kind. Oh my God.

I definitely thought you were going to say bossy. No, if I'd had four, I would have thrown that on the end. For you, I'm going to say dewy. That's for your skin. Talented. Yeah, thank you. And I'm like, yeah, yeah. I've got to put in erratic I have to

yeah I think chaotic would be yeah absolutely chaotic is a better one chaotic yeah I would also if we were really to extend it I would um say that you are um imagine we just keep extending yeah we end up in a full fight yeah we're like kind um manipulative psychotic sociopath i was like we've been here for three days girls it's time it's time to wrap it up go on you're you're bursting to get a fourth out. Go on, hit me with it. We're like, pretty. Pretty.

So sweet. Loyal. Paranoid, psychotic bitch. Yeah, like you're highly highly like we could like still going here we go she's waiting to hit you with this I thought you said three hours not three words

hold on I get my notes I've been writing shit down for a year now I'm going to open the word doc that I have written up. Let's start alphabetically. A-nup. Yes, I do like it. Cut that out

because it's also not true. We're only going to get through a few of these. What's your favorite object in your house? My mom. Like I dust her and stuff at the weekend. That's not fair.

She listens to this. Sorry. She runs marathons. Do you know, I know this is very sex heavy. Your mom listens to this pod. Well, she pretends she doesn't, but of course she does. Oh God. I can never meet her. doesn't, but of course she does. Oh, God. I can never meet her.

This man came bounding up to me once on the street and he goes, you need to be kinder to your mother. And I was like, sorry, what? Anyway, it turns out he was a friend of my mother's friends or something, I don't know.

But yeah, from stand-up actually. What's your favorite object in your house? Maybe the lobster. I was checking the lobster out the other day and actually it's a fantastic piece of art or actually no um i'm gonna say an art piece not the lobster because like if the lobster gets burned to the fire i can always get like there's loads of dead lobsters i can get another one what do you god joe some of the shit joe has actually written i didn't know what you wanted we got i've just we got joe some of the shit joe has actually written i didn't know what you wanted i've just we got joe to do the couples cards and like he's written shit shit like what's the bravest thing you've ever done this is an interesting one this is actually interesting for me a new vogue how do

you deal with conflict because we're very different in this regard um i always really like to talk it out and uh i i need to have it sorted out i can't brush anything under the carpet. I am a massive carpet brusher. Oh my God, no. Spenny's a carpet brusher too. I can't. I can't bear any sort of confrontation. I just find it so, it makes me want to eat my insides.

I can't bear it. I hate it too, but I have to get it like sorted out. I've never known you to bite your tongue. I'm surprised I have a tongue left I bite it so much I like I should just be an open mouth with teeth my tongue I've bitten it so much I can't bear it and I really admire that in you actually you're just like here this thing happened and why did it happen and why did you do that I'm like that's how bad I am it's

really bad I need to learn to stand up for myself more you have to just say it and just get it out there in the open I hate having to have conflict but I like I actually had to uh call Amber out the other day because Amber has a thing where she'll go out the piss and she's great crack in the night on the piss and then she's great crack the next day because it's like she's almost like in that hungover buzzy mood yeah and the day after that it's like hell on earth i'm like i remember like getting flights home early years ago because she'd be in such a filthy mood and i pulled her up from the other day and she stormed off downstairs and then today two days later after going out great form so i sorted her out oh i thought you were gonna say the fall is coming no no no the fall never

came because she uh she had a word to her. But there's certain people you're just very comfortable around being moody around because you know them so well. And then there's other people you kind of put on your best face for. I think that you don't have to put on your best face for anyone. But I think at the age of our age, like 23, that you have to start like you can't take your mood out and other people if I'm in a filthy ass mood I just won't be around people I'd rather just not like infect people with my negativity yeah I know sometimes I can't help myself as do you ever

get that where you're like I know I'm being I know I'm being a dickhead here but I don't really know how to pull it back yeah how many secrets do you have that absolutely nobody knows I would say very few for myself because don't tell me anything if you don't want it to get out like someone was saying the other day they were like oh I wonder what you want close friends Instagram story is like you know the green ring oh yeah yeah I was like I don't have one I don't actually have one either no what you mean that you do close friends for other people? Let me see who'd even come up in mine. So it's basically like everything's kind of pretty much out there.

I have a couple of things that I wouldn't, that I don't think would show me in a great light that I'd like to, that I'll kind of sit on until the day I get cremated and turned into a key ring. Oh God. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, I definitely have one or two things that i would never tell anyone

yeah so do i but it's only ones about me if it's about someone else you can be sure everyone else knows about it i'm the same i used to do it in stand-up sometimes it would take me 20 minutes to describe to you the person i'm about to tell their secret i'm about to tell their secret you don't even know them i'm like you like, you know her, you know her, you know her. She's friends with such and such and such and such. And you're like,

oh yeah. And I'll be like, pregnant. What do you see, what do you see for one another 10 years from now? Do you know what? I reckon you're going to have a kid.

Do you reckon? And yeah, I do. I think you'll have a child and I also think you'll obviously have bought a house and I think you'll be very child and I also think you'll obviously have bought a house uh and I think you'll be very successful thank you you're welcome right after you sell out the Apollo I see for you landing some like tv presenting job um kind of like uh what's your

one's name Tess Daly oh that would be a nice job to have actually yeah I just have hers something like that yeah she's had you know what she's had a go it's my turn there's a special place in hell for women who don't step aside and let other women take their jobs yeah that's dead true like get off the stage it's my turn to shine yeah okay last one uh what would be your luxury on a desert island i'm gonna say spf would be boring oh my god i don't want to get old i'm surprised you didn't say exercise bands oh i'll bring john belton i'll burn but i but I'll look great.

What would I want for my luxury? SPF, Joanne. Do you want to come out looking like a raisin? I don't think we're coming out. I think we're going there to die, Vogue.

Oh, if I'm going there to die, I was going to say nice bedding. Not one of your children, no? Not one of your kids? Oh, fuck, yeah, yeah. Yeah, one of them. Mummy's bringing of your kids oh fuck yeah yeah yeah one of them

mummy's bringing a pillow instead of Gigi nice bedding is very important very important okay we've got some emails hi MGTN pod anon please I told my boyfriend I have six months today I loved him I didn't hear it back Okay, we've got some emails. Hi, MGTM pod. Anon, please.

I told my boyfriend I have six months today. I loved him. I didn't hear it back. I thought I was okay with it. As I sit here drinking Pinot Grigio and weeping into a sharing bag of cheese and onion crisps, I'm beginning to think I'm not all that fine. Wondering if you have ever used the L word

first without reciprocation. In fairness to my boyfriend, he told me he doesn't actually think he's loved anyone in the past despite saying it's previous girlfriends thinks it takes him longer to develop those feelings hasn't said it at this stage of a relationship and doesn't want to say it um unless he means it which i do respect he told me he thinks i'm beautiful cares a lot about me and i'm and he's so happy i'm in his life oh god uh I don't know like it doesn't like does it matter all that much yeah no no no no get out get out there's nothing there's no more to be done there I know no no don't say get out sorry six months in I really enjoy your company fuck off six months

in I'll be honest with you I just I'd probably be married yeah several times yeah I'd be married and divorced by then yeah six months is too long I'm sorry like and also the fact that he says he doesn't think

he's ever loved anyone that's sociopathic behavior trigger warning does she say what age she is no but she says her eggs are in limbo I'm so happy you're in my life

no you have to you have to go now I'm all about the psychological manipulation. I practically have a master's in it. Oh, if you left and then he'd be dying to get you back. You go.

You go and then he won't. You have to give them a room to miss you. You're just there now. You're like, I love you. He's like, yeah, I'm not really there yet. And you're like, okay, no worries, no props. He's never going to love you unless you leave and test his feelings. I'd really be sure about it.

I'd be like, do you know what? We're obviously not on the same page. That's totally cool. I just don't want this to go any further. We're not on the same, like I'd rather be

on an equal playing field. No bad vibes. I'm just going to, I'm just going to like it and then just cut him. Cut him. Don't block him. Let him see you're living

your glam sexy life, but cut him. And I guarantee either he'll come back and you take it from there as a reboot or he doesn't come back and then you made the right decision because otherwise you're going to end up just falling more in love with him and he's going to lose all respect for you god well she's already in love with him so i don't know if she'll end up dumping him i don't know you should i'm sorry you have to love yourself more this is what

i've learned as a woman in my 60s you have to learn love yourself more I think Tina I was thinking Tina's an unusual name you never hear that but it's not her real name but anyway Tina Joanne says that but I say maybe have a chat with him and just try and figure it out from there but yeah because chatting is the chatting really makes people you're gonna chat him into loving you that's not possible okay i am english but living in barbados love the pod i'm after some advice on converting a one-night stand into a two-night stand i've recently come out of a 15-year relationship met him when i was 19 and i'm not i'm now ready to have some fun and increase my worldliness well you don't want it into a two-night stand anyway new year's eve kicked it all off at one night stand with a gorgeous English guy. He was here on holiday,

so it was never going to turn into anything. No thanks. But I was keen to convert it into a two-night stand. He messaged saying, great night, et cetera. I waited a few hours to reply and said something like, yes, great night. Worth the hangover. If you fancy grabbing a drink, let me know.

Radio silence. Pretty much the same thing happened three days later with another English fella. Help, I'm so out of the game. I don't know the rules anymore. When I last did this, we were still using Messenger. Listen, babe, you sound like you're doing all right. Three days later with another English fella.

Keep doing what you're doing. Just don't text them after. That's where you're going wrong. Plow on, plow on. This is my, I always think, I don't know. I've always found with one night stands, I was never able to cope with

the one night stand because I needed them to want to see me again so I realised I was a fraud I was a fraud I was like yeah

I can have sex on a one night stand I can't it always ends up being something more with me usually if they allow it

yeah because she's used to being in a relationship she's it's the kind of like a tick you just you just assume you turn it into something else you try and see them again whereas these

lads are obviously pretty au fait at doing one night stands and you won't turn it into a two night stand you're like me you'll try and turn it into a week-long stand and then a fucking month year a year relationship and blah blah you're not you have to be honest with yourself are you in the market for one night stand or not probably not actually by the sounds of it you need to go and match with the fruit salads on Tinder. It's what I've always said. I do think she's doing a good job.

I just think it's the texting the next day that isn't doing any favours for your confidence, for anything. Don't text the next day. You live in Barbados. People are always going

back and forth there for holidays. It's like the perfect place for one night stands. He messaged saying, great night. I waited a few hours to reply and said, yes, great night. Worth the hangover. Fancy waited a few hours to reply and said yes great night

worth the hangover fancy getting a drink let me know no they don't want to get a drink this is what lads are like they lose interest with every thrust he splashed his interest

on your back it's over move on oh god I'm sorry Joanne and I have different advices but that is

that is interesting that's all from this extra helping of my therapist ghosted me so keep sending your emails to hello at mtgmpod.com we'll be back with a new series in February we shall see you then Bye.